Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Our Congressman FINALLY got through to someone at our Support Center. We are going to have biometrics done. We are not at liberty to say more than that. But we're pretty sure that after we get this biometrics taken that our file processing is still going to be screwed up. We are not going to say why because giving details will divulge something we are not supposed to say.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-05-19 20:15:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We opened a case file with our Congressman to contact someone in this impenetrable bureaucracy to PLEASE let us come to an actual Support Center to have our Biometrics done. In the meantime we have found that the USCIS has for TEN YEARS successively "updated" a nonexistent office address for a Support Center in Fairbanks. There is a customs office there, and they have seen ten years of people just like us, desperate for fingerprints and to speak with a human. They are tired of having immigrants come to their office asking the same question. Talk about a broken system.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-05-18 18:01:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We've made a formal request through our congressman to try cutting through the impenetrable bureacracy to get her second set of needless fingerprints AKA "biometrics". This country sucks.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-05-11 18:08:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	You can't get there from here. We entered our zip code into the USCIS service center locator for our zip code after nine months waiting for a fingerprint appointment. Numerous letters and calls. We decided to march in there and present ourselves, to the address they give on the locator. It is a customs office. It has not been an immigration office for ten years. Yet people just like us, desperate for information on how to get the fingerprints done have come to their counter and are told the same thing. Enough of them have done it to where the customs people seem to agree the word of mouth is that the Anchorage office comes up once or twice a year and does fingerprints at the Federal Building. This we know first-hand because we have already done it at Adjustment of Status. Their machine was broken and we were ordered to appear in Anchorage the next morning to take them there. There is a working machine in Anchorage. They came to Fairbanks to do Adjustment of Status cases a couple weeks ago. We have friends that did it. But they forgot about us, or ignored us. So we are going in to our congressman's offices because this is just too incredible to be happening. Their locator was supposedly updated last year I think. But it is ten years out of date. They already have her fingerprints. This is not a first world performance.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-05-04 23:04:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We have been waiting nine months for her redundant set of fingerprints and photo they call "biometrics" to make it sound complicated. We made our third service request today and supposedly we are going to hear back from an officer within 15 days. One of the most maddening things about calling is that you get an english-as-second-language speaker who is reading from a computer screen as fast as he can in a monotone, making it impossible to understand what they are saying, and using words that have precise bureaucratic definitions that usually mean exactly the opposite of what they say. So you need determination, fierce concentration, and absolute silence around you to understand hellomynameisjohnreferencenumber1000kf3areyoucallingonbehalfoftheapplicantorareyouthebeneficiary I think next time I am going to just stop him at the beginning and say please don't just read as fast as you can from your computer screen. Show some mercy and speak so I can understand what you are saying. If you are English as second language especially - how can you be so rude as to talk so fast, refuse to separate words and sentences, let alone put the emphasis on the right syllables. You give them a number 200-874-3921 and they repeat it back 20-087-439-21. It is the same number but not the same clustering on his screen. Every step of the way they sow confusion. You could not purposefully establish a more backwards immigration process. She already gave them fingerprints. Their redundant request for duplicate fingerprints on the 10 year card after already giving them for the 2 year card is the only thing stopping her approval. Who is responsible for that bad decision to make this redundant requirement? Nobody that will ever be accountable for it. Edited by rlogan, 02 May 2012 - 04:38 PM.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-05-02 16:35:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Pardon my whining, but I just cannot BELIEVE how long this takes. I'm a federal employee myself and I can't understand what takes 6 months or more to get these applications processed?! If I had work sit for that long I'd have a whole lot of questions being asked... I find it extremely frustrating that we only have an 800-number to call...only to receive the same canned answer that appears on the USCIS case status site. Sigh... It isn't whining. The reason is twofold: First, congress adding multiple asinine levels of temporary residency - two new levels since my parents' generation, and secondly there is no accountability. So they have massive counterproductive policies in place to create more work for themselves like - requiring duplicate fingerprints. - not allowing anyone but themselves to take fingerprints - and not even maintaining their machines properly. It was broken when we went for our AOS appointment. - not allowing you to call them directly so that you have to involve two other people on the phone, neither of which can get an answer anyway, and more people involved in processing and answering the written service request: probably five people total, none of whom are the right person. - removing your old case number and requiring a new one, but not allowing you one until after the biometrics letter, which has been delayed by the above extremely stupid policies. So you are told your file can't even be found when you are online. - having a phone tree without an option for people who have no case number because of the above - thousands upon thousands of people desperately trying to break through the phone tree wall to reach a person and in the end accomplishing nothing. - multitudes of immigration categories, restrictions, exclusions, etc. that massively complicate legal immigration when TENS OF MILLIONS are here illegally with no paperwork, no fees, no telling the government every last detail about your life, finances, etc. ********************************************************************************************* Still no biometrics appointment for us, and different answers every time. This time the service request letter said that there was no "re-scheduled" apointments available in Fairbanks, which is bizarre because we never had an appointment in the first place and it was allegedly going to be in Anchorage. We are certain now that the answer is to move to a free country. Work is keeping me here for now, but we will be moving, and most likely to the Philippines where my permanent residency takes one very short application, one time, inexpensive, and it is permanent. Edited by rlogan, 29 January 2012 - 06:18 PM.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-01-29 18:17:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We made a second service request for a biometrics appointment today. We got contradictory information from the officer and she could not resolve her own contradiction. She said the fingerprints were "expired" and that she would have to get them again, except that the officer would tell them to "run" the fingerprints again. I asked her what "run" the fingerprints meant, and the answer was that it means to "run" them. Later she said it means run them through an FBI check again. But regardless, this contradicts the last two letters we have gotten that says she has to have new fingerprints taken. The only thing we know is that we have not missed a biometrics appointment letter from them. Philippines is looking better and better as a place to live and be free from this kind of government.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2012-01-10 18:30:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Still no biometrics appointment. We called USCIS and spoke with one attendant, then to an officer, then made a request for service, and received a letter that we would get a biometrics appointment "when one became available". They already have her fingerprints. Fingerprints do not expire. Making people do them again and holding up their immigration because of it proves how idiotic this system is, if you assume this is a free country. If you assume it is a police state, then it makes perfect sense: do what they tell you, when they tell you, no matter how stupid, and do not ask questions. Then you have it right: the government is our master and we are the slaves.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-11-12 10:37:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Still no biometrics appointment. Our request for service more than a week ago resulted in a letter from USCIS to the NSC to please make us an appointment. She has had her fingerprints taken already but they are requiring she do it again, and refusing to allow anyone but their special fingerprint department do it. Not the police, not the troopers - nobody but them, and they already have our fingerprints - on her green card. Last time they made us wait until they came to Fairbanks, which was OK except the fingerprint machine didn't work. So they said to drop what we were doing and drive that 900 mile round-trip, to be there bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning. So sure, we got on a jet - first class of course, and had a limo pick us up at the airport with cocktails and hot finger foods. We can make an infopass to drive nine hundred miles round trip to ask if they have made us an appointment yet. It will be at that place - but the only certain thing is that we will not be allowed to take fingerprints the day we go for an infopass appointment. They don't even have to give us an appointment. So tomorrow we're going downtown. We're putting a bunch of cinderblocks in the back. I'm going to start throwing them through store windows. Within five minutes the police will be there. My fingerprints will be taken within half an hour. They will be free. The machine will work perfectly. That's how you can get your fingerprints.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-10-18 20:32:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Peterjoy and rlogan: I haven't gotten mine either. You can call USCIS and they will let you know what's going on once you have 30 days since your NOA1. I am on a waiting list to get the appointment at the ASC where I live, which makes me super mad cause it's not that big of a town and they work M-F 8am to 4pm and if it only takes a few minutes to do everything, why can't I get it. At USCIS they made a request to CSC and I got an email from them saying that I just will be mailed the appointment. We'll see how that goes. I just hope it's soon cause I want to get over with this. Hey thanks for responding sunflower15 - I called but there is no number for me to enter. I was going to make an infopass appointment. I have never done that but I think you can do it if its been more than 45 days. I called the number on the notice and got a phone menu without an option for me.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-09-26 02:48:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	I'm getting freak now, I still don't get my bio letter. CSC are you still working? We've been waiting longer than you. We can't enter our receipt number online, and the same answer is given by phone - cannot find that number. But we understand that until we get the biometrics letter, we can't access a file status. So we wait. We have a travel letter good for one year, so no problem there. It is interfering in family visit plans though. We can't plan without knowing when the biometrics is scheduled. But mom's 80th birthday can't be moved.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-09-21 14:56:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Still no biometrics notice. But we'll just be patient before calling.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-09-12 17:42:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	If you read your NOA, you will see that you can check your status online only with Biometrics receipt number. So just wait for your biometrics letter. Ahah! I fixated on the big asterisked-surrounded part saying to use the above receipt number for all inquiries. I also see that the "ASC" (Application Support Center) appointment is the acronym language they use for "biometrics" appointment. Geez, talk about bureaucratese. Thanks Diazy.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-09-04 21:33:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Are any of you capable of looking up your case status on the USCIS website? We put our number in there and the computer cannot find us. We do have a receipt number from the NOA, and since we have not gotten the biometrics appointment we checked online. But nothing...	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-09-03 19:38:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Hope I do this update of our NOA date right. I see someone added us. thank you! California Service Center (16 applicants) VJName.............Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date......Biometrics......Approved.... ERIC_AND_TERESA......08/01/11........08/05/11.......09/12/11........--/--/--.... KELAH AND RAMIRO.....08/02/11........08/04/11.......09/06/11........--/--/--.... JILL R...............08/02/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... KYLE.SARI............08/02/11........08/03/11.......09/02/11........--/--/--.... MA'BEHBEH............08/03/11........08/05/11.......09/12/11........--/--/--.... CONNECTICUT..........08/04/11........08/05/11.......09/02/11........--/--/--.... INSOMIALILY..........08/04/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... HELL0W0RLD...........08/05/11........08/08/11.......08/29/11........--/--/--.... ELSIECHICOFOCUS......08/08/11........08/10/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... RLOGAN...............08/08/11........08/15/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... HIS_WIFEY............08/09/11........08/12/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... CHERRY?EDWARD........08/09/11........08/11/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... SWEETFM..............08/10/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... M_N_M................08/13/11........08/15/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... SUNFLOWER15..........08/15/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... RAHULV...............08/18/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... Vermont Service Center (15 applicants) VJName.............Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date......Biometrics......Approved.... KIRSTEN UK...........08/01/11........08/05/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... ROBHINIO.............08/02/11........08/04/11.......08/30/11........--/--/--.... *SUNRAY*.............08/02/11........08/04/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... ALOE.................08/03/11........08/05/11.......09/02/11........--/--/--.... (Early Bio 08/19) TRYGGER..............08/03/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... SCOTT S..............08/04/11........08/05/11.......09/01/11........--/--/--.... (Early Bio 08/18) H&V..................08/05/11........08/09/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... RPI007...............08/09/11........08/12/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... SAPPHIREDREAMS.......08/12/11........08/16/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... CHADLAURE............08/13/11........08/15/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... PRATIBHAQUINT........08/15/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... MUFFIN...............08/16/11........08/16/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... JANAT................08/16/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... SHAUN COLE...........08/17/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... DVRJWH...............08/17/11........--/--/11.......--/--/11........--/--/--.... IMPORTANT! * Make sure that your VJ Text Editor setting is set to Rich Text Editor. * Go to the MOST RECENTLY POSTED VERSION of this list (go to the last post and scroll UP) and "Reply" to it, deleting the "quote" tags in your reply. * Please DO NOT change the font, font size, add colors, stuff like that. * Please PREVIEW before posting to make sure it is properly formatted. * Please check that you have not deleted anyone's NAME & DATA. Date of I-751 = The Date you sent your application NOA Date = The Receipt Date on your original NOA letter Biometrics = The Date of your biometrics appointment Approved = The Date your case was approved * Please Capitalize your VJ Name when adding it to the list. * When you're on this list, please come back to update your information accordingly * If you cannot add your information yourself, please ask another VJ member to help you do so.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-08-22 21:00:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Ours took longer, submitting on the 8th and our bank says the check was cashed today, the 17th, so we should get the NOA in the mail soon. Mail is always slower for us out in the boonies of Alaska. I'll wait until we actually have the NOA before posting it to the list. I hope we don't have a 800 mile round trip again for biometrics, which is what we had to do for the Adjustment of Status Biometrics. That's worse than the $590 fee. But you do what you have to do...	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-08-17 22:23:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We just put it in the mail.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-08-08 19:11:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We are putting ours in the mail tomorrow the 8th of August. There are 23 pages total. Supporting material is just stapled together. Insurance has paid for two ceasarians. About $50K total I think. Dental work too. Birth certificates, Joint credit cards and bank accounts, joint vehicle titles and car insurance, utilities, tax returns, affadavits. Money. No pictures. So we can clock in. I don't know how to do it. I think people are updating this and I will try to learn it, but I have my post here to remind me. First class mail instead of certified this time. Still plenty of time to re-submit if nothing happens.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-08-07 23:52:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	We didn't have them notarized. Just had them affirm that we have a bonafide marriage. From all I could gather, notarizing is not necessary, so we just opted to make it easier for the people providing the affidavits. Good, thanks. I feel the same way.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-08-03 16:37:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	I-751 August 2011 Filers	Here we go again. We have two kids along with plenty of other documentation. Thanks for starting the thread. I have everything ready to go but our affadavits. We have to go to town to get those. Are you guys getting these notorized or just have them swear/affirm in writing you have a bonafide marriage?	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2011-08-02 20:12:00
Philippines	Iligan City bridge bombed: Probers eye MILF link	Thanks... That bridge is just down the road from where my wife's family lives. In the house I built where I lived too, actually - in Iligan City. Been over it many times. Near the steel plant close to Maria Cristina Falls. It's the bridge over the agus river that runs the power plant at Maria Cristina falls. No alternative local road route. There's been a number of bombings in Iligan City since we met, and it is obviously a source of grave concern. One of them was outside the grocery store where we shop where people store their backpacks. But we don't have the blind rage "kill kill kill" mentality, nor panic we see from some. You have to approach this with a level-headed rule-of-law demeanor, capturing and meting out justice appropriately, in a manner that does not tend to legitimize the claims of the perpetrators. There is a homeland claim being advanced and in all cases of asymmetric force the weaker side chooses guerilla war. One of the strategies is to bait the government into a response that invokes sympathy for their cause. Indiscrimant use of the army will do that, as will the exercises that have involved US forces. That has brought resentment and anger completely unneccessary - I saw it in protests while I was there and with people I spoke with who are resolutely behind the government but angered by what amounts to them as an imposition against their sovereignty. I read the thread pertaining to August 2008, and my wife and I were surprised to see things characterized as pandemonium because it simply wasn't. Iligan is still a relatively safe place. This bridge bombing is a real transportation problem because rice trucks, busses, jeepneys, etc have no alternative local route. If this is handled correctly the MILF is really going to come out looking badly. Likewise if they attack the power lines.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-21 17:37:00
Philippines	How to Send Money to your Fiancee/Wife in PH for FREE!	Interesting. I use a $7 flat fee service from BPI express remittance. It takes up to five days. She's here but it is how we send to her family now. Sheesh - how do you get mail delivered? I have never successfully delivered anything but one lonely post-card. All enveloped mail has been stolen when using regular postal mail. We have to use federal express for any kind of mail, and of course that is expensive.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-22 18:30:00
Philippines	I am pissed off	QUOTE (belovedbyme @ Apr 22 2009, 04:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> My husband started to be so defensive when I asked him about the name of the woman who is attached into his address. I got it in the mail yesterday and while he is on travel he instructed me to open everything. Then here comes an unknown name of a woman. I emailed him asking about it no reply. So when we chatted few hours ago. I kept asking wont answer me immediately. Now, he started telling me his been question of who he is. Good Lord! I was just asking him who she was and why she was still in his account in the credit card since they parted 5 yrs. ago. I do love him so much but I'm not the type of filipina who hide my feelings and wait for it until it explodes. That's hard you know. I was so candid of my feelings but he thought I doubt him. He gave alibis like did he care about my past. We don't talk about ex ex here. I dont want to play blind and deaf as if everythings okay. Wherein fact I am aching inside? No way! I can't do that. I reiterate to him. I am not a nanny nor a housemaid that I wont care about your mail and names of these people on the mail. As a wife , I have the right to know if you don't want that. Why did you marry? lol He was quiet for a moment then told me he is tired and this and that. Our chat wasn't good so I feel like I started the fight? I didn't do anything to hurt him. All I did was asking him of what I don't know. Gee, you waited until after you were married? My wife went through my cell phone sim chips, hacked into my email account and read hundreds of emails, my wallet, every scrap of mail, garbage - she was relentless looking for "evidence" as she put it. Right from the beginning of our relationship. I couldn't care less. No secrets. I don't see what is wrong with what you did, the way you describle it. Just be sincere and not accusatory in the way you ask. I do not see why he would not answer right away. It is a simple explanation and innocent enough. I could not get an ex-wife off an account without her permission because we applied for it together. So I had to open up a new account in my own name. He needs to have all other women off his accounts if he is married to you. Duh. But if he is tired of "this and that", then whatever "this and that" is has compounded this discussion. So it seems to me there are other issues going on. Come on now hon - what is the rest of the story? This and that? Many times when we are hurt it comes out as anger. And it is best to make sure that hurt is identified to him as hurt and not anger. Tell him you love him hon. Over and over.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-22 23:34:00
Philippines	procedures of medical in st. luke's????, pls. help...	They want to know about vaccinations you have had. Any diseases. Allergies. Operations. It is a general physical. That is according to my wife.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-23 00:20:00
Philippines	Filipina wife Living in PI	QUOTE (lotus101 @ Apr 24 2009, 07:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE If he wanted a divorce and you were in the Philippines. He could attempt to serve paper to you, and if were out of the country for an extended period he could get a divorce judgement against you, since you would not be able to dispute the divorce. Do you mean I have no right to iniate a divorce if I don't live in America? does the Philippines goverment will recognize my divorce decree? or I am still married there but legally divorced in US ?... it is good that you did mention about this matter. Recognition of marriage/divorce across countries is by treaty. We have one with the Philippines that is reciprocal - each recognizes marriage or divorce decrees from the other. Edited by rlogan, 24 April 2009 - 11:53 PM.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-24 23:49:00
Philippines	Watch PACMAN vs. HATTON	With all due respect to Floyd Mayweather Jr - You can't say he is the "true" pound-for-pound champ when he is not even fighting now. The one style that would also give him the fits is Manny's. Manny is the best pound-for-pound. I love Ricky, but Manny is going to eat him alive from the outside, and with better ring movement and more versatility in the attack. Gonna watch it with the most beautiful pinay in history.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-05-02 17:45:00
Philippines	How Wonderful Are Your Inlaws?(Naging mabait ba sila sa inyo?)	I love my wife's family. Her parents show respect for their elders, so they are nice to me. Lira has not met my family yet because we live in remote Alaska and they are in the lower '48. My brother sure seems real interested in meeting her. She talks to my mom and brother on the phone.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-11 10:34:00
Philippines	Filipino Dish for 4th of July Celebration	How about combining Americano-Filippino? Ice cream balut! Shrimp paste tea! Ground bangus and liver pate!	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-23 17:23:00
Philippines	Very poor communication	QUOTE (Bob 4 Anna @ Apr 22 2009, 03:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (rlogan @ Apr 21 2009, 09:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> See how you are lying to me? You want me to get upset. Well, I am not going to do that. You need to think about whether getting me upset is going to end up with the result you want in the end, or whether it will ruin the day for both of us. See how the sun is shining? Such a beautiful day. We can enjoy this day together and be happy, or we can have a fight. It's entirely up to you honey. Your choice. I love you very much and you are completely full of ######. Wow, that was the most perfect description of the issue I have ever seen! Thanks, I send this post to my Wife, have talked about it and will probably have a few more conversations on this topic. Thank you for such a great expression of this. You are welcome. It has worked many times for me. The first was on the streets of Iligan City, Philippines. She got angry with me and disappeared into the crowd while my back was turned. It was a childish stunt to piss me off, and of course I was frustrated trying to find her, and people were looking because I am the only Americano and something is obviously wrong. When I finally saw her I went to her very calmly and gently, telling her how much I loved her and that I understood her feelings. That she was upset with me. But that we could decide right there for her to voice that frustration with me so that I could understand it better and try to be a good husband to her - or we could make war and have a big scene that would be repeated by word of mouth all over the marketplace in front of this crowd. That this very moment was something that would establish how the rest of our relationship was going to fare. Once she said it: "I am angry with you"... it was over. Notice how T_and_A says she has things inside her that want to explode. Exactly. Because she is keeping them in. We were walking hand-in-hand laughing just moments after I got her to utter "I am angry with you". And we've never forgotten that moment as a guide to our interactions. I sure understand your request to her that she is not allowed to say "nothing". The trick is how to do it in a way that convinces her to work as a team instead of being enemies. When you start manipulating feelings you are not working as a team. Now they are the "other side". You don't make plays against your own team. You huddle up and call plays against the rest of the world. So you have to get them thinking straight again that you are not the enemy. The best way I manage that is by trying to voice what I think, to the best of my ability, her feelings are. Validate them. Yes honey. I spend too much time on the computer. I can see how that would make you feel less loved. In plain guy-speak you can't fu** a computer. So you better drop the damned thing and start giving your wife the attention she deserves. She is here in a foreign country, left her family and friends, and is stuck with this fat old man who wants to make love to his computer. It is an interesting chess game with a young wife, especially a Filipina, and we can use our life experience and knowledge of their culture for either good or for evil. These girls are the most wonderful on earth in my opinion and are deserving of our respect and admiriation. Do everything you can to preserve their dignity and honor. To nurture and encourage rather than order around and manipulate nefariously. They are exceptionally jealous, but don't use that against them (eg all my girlfriends let me read gay porn so you should too). Instead, give them unbounded security that there is no other woman you would ever look at. Do NOT check out the butt of that hot little waitress. You look your Filipina wife straight in the eye and tell her how beautiful she is. What waitress. Etc. I keep telling her that there will come a time when I will have run out of patience. It will be me who snaps. I will be the one who needs patience and understanding. I will not be communicating effectively. I will make mistakes. Hopefully you will have logged enough trust that when the time comes she will pull for you too.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-22 18:18:00
Philippines	Very poor communication	QUOTE (T_and_A @ Apr 21 2009, 02:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Be patient... I guess. I can only talk for myself. But usually when i say "nothing", even though its obvious that something's bothering me, most of the time i say nothing because I'm thinking through it first. I think you've shown a very good attitude about what people have told you. Here is a place to improve now. I mean all this in kindness. "Nothing" is the wrong answer when you are thinking through something. The answer is "I am thinking through something..." That is what you tell him. Regardless of whether it has come to resolution in your mind, there is a subject matter that you know very well you are thinking about - and your husband has every right to start getting upset because when you say "nothing" it is not the truth. Tell him the subject. Now, we can play the "code speak" game where we spin things by saying well, "nothing" means "nothing so important" or "nothing I want to trouble you with", etc. but those are not true either - because if it is really nothing imporant then why make it so painful to find out what it is. It is exasperating to be really genuinely concerned about how someone feels, and have them refuse to tell you because "I don't want to trouble you". Because that answer is a bald-faced lie. I mean this sincerely and without malice. You really DO want to trouble them. It's the whole point. What could be more exasperating than a woman making trouble while claiming the trouble she is causing is so that you avoid trouble. You really have to key in here on this: you are lying. It is a universal human trait to get upset when people lie to you. It may not be explicitly conscious on your part "I will lie to get his emotions up" - but I will go to my grave standing on this insight about why women do this. It isn't necessarily anger you are after - just elevated emotions like you are feeling yourself. Break free from that. The cultural excuse works once. The moment the man says that the response "nothing" is upsetting him then you can't use the cultural excuse. Now you are choosing to insult him in the face of his explicit and sincere request to communicate honestly. Because he cares for you. Instead of doing that for your husband out of reciprocal love, he gets this "I'm going to be difficult because that is how I show how I am putting you first" gobbledygook. QUOTE Most filipinas say nothing I think because they want to think if what they will say will do good or bad first... We are not used to blurting it out right away... But at least for me, I don't want my husband to just ignore it.... ignore me when i say nothing coz its more annoying. I know it's confusing and crazy, but that's how we are, how we feel and take things. If filipinos to filipinos, they would get it right away that there's something to talk about and saying nothing is just like a reverse psych. So i guess, open up a conversation that will eventually make her feel comfortable to open up to you. At least that's how i imagine it i guess... with me. I know its hard to remain sweet when confused and don't understand it when your partner is "moody", but most of the time Filipinas melt down anyway when their man is still sweet even though having tampo. Or again, at least that's how I want it to be. Believe me I understand exactly what is going on. It isn't confusing or crazy - and it also is not limited at all to Pinays. It is a female trait, and more particular to younger ones. What you are after is an emotional reaction. "Nothing" is an answer that is not true and therefore elicits frustration. If he shows sufficient emotional reaction you will tell him. If he ignores you then you graduate to more dirty and underhanded things that you know are really going to piss him off: "I am jealous of your computer so I am making dinner late..." etc. You don't need an emotional reaction out of other people so you can just tell them straight out. "Communicating" with your husband by manipulating emotions is dangerous. Because you get into retaliation, counter-retaliation, and finally divorce. I realize that the cover story is that you need to get "comfortable", and that is why you are lying. That it may sound confusing and crazy to piss people off in order to calm things down. That's right. It is crazy. And it makes no sense at all. What makes sense is that the emotional reaction you get is the one you intended. You are emotional so you want him to be, and the way to do it is by being frustrating, crazy, and confusing. A woman who is older has learned that this business of manipulating emotions can backfire, so she is more careful about deploying it. The husband might not show the emotions she wants - to press her, beg her, in anguish "please please tell me..." Instead he might get pissed off and walk out the door, get drunk, and spend the grocery money on whores. So if all the older woman wants is the emotional reaction and does not care about the consequences then she'll act like a teenager. But when she wants to get a clear message through she'll spit it right out. Now for a 50 year old man like me, married to a 20 year old Filipina I have enough experience to know exactly what she is doing to me with "nothing". So I can explain carefully to her and patiently everything I have said here. It may still take some time to coax out of her what is on her mind, but at least I can call her bullshit for what it is, and I am not so frustrated. See how you are lying to me? You want me to get upset. Well, I am not going to do that. You need to think about whether getting me upset is going to end up with the result you want in the end, or whether it will ruin the day for both of us. See how the sun is shining? Such a beautiful day. We can enjoy this day together and be happy, or we can have a fight. It's entirely up to you honey. Your choice. I love you very much and you are completely full of ######. cheers	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-21 21:31:00
Philippines	Very poor communication	QUOTE (jom @ Apr 21 2009, 04:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If you are mad, say it and don't pretend you are not. That is one of the traits of Pinays that needs to improve, we sulk when we are angry with something instead of saying it straight to the person involved. Not to sound offensive but you also have communication problems since you can't even tell your husband what you really feel. I guess you two have a lot of things to work out with your communication skills and if this bothers you a lot, you might as well improve it starting with yourself . One thing I learned being married to an american is to not beat around the bush..just say what you feel, and they will appreciate it more. Goodluck and I hope things will get better. Wow. Spot on! Typical scenario: (sees wife is angry and sulking) "What's wrong honey?" "nothing" "So that's why you are angry and sulking - it's what you do when you are happy and cheerful?" "Nothing wrong." (guessing game begins) "Is it this, is it that, is it the other?" "maybe" etc. Sheesh. What is the point of keeping your feelings a secret we have to drag out of you? We are not mind readers. You have to be blunt. "I am upset because you are on your computer looking at pictures of gay animal porn." (or whatever). Saying so will end it. Being secretly angry and sulking will make him upset - which is unconsciously what is actually going on (I am upset and so I want to make you upset too) Instead, give him a chance to be a good husband to you by telling him EXACTLY what you are thinking instead of making both of you miserable. Mutual assured happiness vs Mutual assured misery.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-04-21 15:44:00
Philippines	Age Difference	QUOTE (Robert E Lee @ Jun 6 2009, 07:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I reckon there ain't no problem during the interview. However, a real problem will exist in married life. How can a young woman live with somebody old enough to be her grandaddy or daddy? Will they ever be seen together in public? I reckon not! The young woman must be ashamed of being seen with her daddy or grandaddy. Be realistic, girls and old men! Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-06 14:48:00
Philippines	Age Difference	QUOTE (yan @ Jun 5 2009, 07:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> well for my case it wasnt an issue for the consul who interviewed me.actually im 21 now and my hubby is 64 and take note i had a daughter from another guy. but look at us now me and my daughter are both here in US with hubby good for you. 30 years here. 20 vs 50. No problems. No questions.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-06 00:31:00
Philippines	About Getting SSN	This is a world record stupid agency. We filed six weeks early. They argued with us. Said she was not eligible. We persisted. Filled out our application wrong three times. Filed it in the wrong place and lost it for eleven weeks. Relentless phone calls before the I-94 expired. Busy, message machine full, or no returned message. Went to the office and they said there was nothing they could do. Just wait. Phone calls, emails, office visit to congressman I-94 expiration came and went. Finally got a call from a genius at SS instructing us to have our I-94 time stamp changed. That is an impossibility, of course, so the result was ... a letter! We have two letters, actually. One letter is the receipt proving we applied six weeks early. The other letter claims we filed too late.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-08-31 22:08:00
Philippines	Your Filipino Wife/Fiancée	My wife did not know what "green card" meant when I met her. She was not looking for a foreign husband and after we met hoped I would stay in the philippines. We might just do that. I am partially retired and we could survive on my pension there OK. I would still work because I like to work. There's a lot more money here of course. And Alaska is just so awesome. One gigantic playground. So for now we are staying here. The only people who suggested she was marrying me for a green card were bitter, jealous and envious busybodies who could not believe this stunningly beautiful girl loved me. The Filipinas blow the doors off the competition. Best girls on the planet. And when you approach one sincerely, you don't drink smoke or gamble, are faithful, and show a deep understanding of their culture... she is going to LIKE you. Bwahahahaha! My evil plans for marriage to a beautiful young Filipina and having her be the mother of my children have been successfull.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-08-31 16:47:00
Philippines	Those who recently moved here in US	QUOTE (TripleG @ Oct 27 2009, 07:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Awsome Pics. Rlogan. My Negros mountain wife likes working the bulldozer also lol . I only let her push logs into piles for now, until she gets more skilled. I think I might have married a pyro-maniac because she loves to burn the piles of underbrush also. I have already gotten a frantic call out at work with her telling me she accidently set the forest on fire. After our discussion I explained it was okay that we have good fire-lines cut, and it was most likely just underbrush burning. When I got home she was crying, but I told her great job, because I had planned on a doing exactly what she did on accident once the temperature was right. She got lucky with wind direction but other than that it was almost a text-book prescribed burn . Mostly now to stay busy, she just picks up sticks (no burning), fishes in our pond, fills the deer feeders, and moves things around with the 4-wheeler (her motorized Karaboa). We float the Texas rivers, go camping and we generally both are nature lovers. I don't think she could make it up north though. It dropped down to 48 degrees in our part of Texas last week and she didn't like it one bit . As far as mis-information on Birth Control, I could believe just about anything some-one might have been told. My wife thinks her twin at birth was an octopus, hence her name Kugeta. She also believes in Tappy-po and other run of the mill non-humans. Superstitions are just one of the fun parts of being married to a Filipina in my opinion. Wyatt Ha ha!! Isn't it just great? Experiencing that kind of life together. Yes, we have gone to what she calls "quack doctor" for some things, and they have superstitions I view as intriguing and exotic. I respect her culture. Griffin - you know in there you listed some things about knowing your husband, and in your case doing the sandwiches the way he likes them... My wife keeps me going in too many ways to count. The two of us together are so much more productive because of it. Wow. What a blessing to have her. It is closer to traditional marriage roles for us than the norm in our country now. But we don't live like the norm. The traditional roles make sense for us. I catch this wind occasionally of the idea that a wife cooking and cleaning, and raising kids at home is some kind of subservience. What a load of bullocks. It is a revolution around here - the ability to put on clean clothes, wolf some hot food down, and go outside in the snow and work... She stays inside and keeps the place in excellent order for a work camp, rubs my owies when I fall off a ladder or whatever... There's no words that can adequately describe how much appreciation I have for it. But I tell her all day, every day. I know what I got and I'm not taking it for granted.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-10-27 15:59:00
Philippines	Those who recently moved here in US	Lira is a provincial girl. Mindanao. We built a bouse there together and lived several months together while doing it. You have a mixture of internet-age all the way to raw ignorance. You can't make generalizations. Except when it comes to Filipinas, which are the best. It's at the molecular level. Their perfection. We do everything together, all day every day. Growing up in a hard-scrabble environment she's adapted perfectly to the adventurous life here. But still intelligent, well educated, and so beautiful they have not invented a high enough number yet to quantify it. Fishing trip, but up here this is serious food production with salmon nets, not flyfishing for sport - We have a mining claim together. Antimony, not gold. Here she is at our prospecting camp: Which happens to be right across the valley from Mt. McKinley: Clearing the road with a bulldozer: Running a chain saw: Been doing a lot of really interesting things together. At least we think so. It looks beautiful in pictures but it is a harsh environment. You have to relish the challenges.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-10-26 10:39:00
Philippines	Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine	he was very tasty, yes. This one below is trying to stomp our dog. That is what a moose does - raise up and stomp you with its front feet. Or kick with the back. In the rut a bull will "horn" you... Our dog Torque likes to harass them and get them to chase her and try to stomp. Classic picture here. She is to the left of this cow's feet. If you know animals you can tell this moose is really mad, but Torque is having a great time: Rocky - looks nice with trees and all. I see you have a Toyota truck. Wise choice! I like your avatar. I should get my wife that outfit.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-09 14:08:00
Philippines	Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine	QUOTE (RonMay @ Jun 7 2009, 10:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> cool! i thought the way you describe it, it sounds like alaska... that must have been a huge transition for her... im from CO and wow its way different especially during the winter lol... im from cagayan de oro and hubby and i had been to iligan... timoga falls... It's all about attitude. You can be excited about moving to the edge of the wilderness, and take fifty below zero temperatures as an adventure, or you can complain. You do have to be careful. Our dog has a running war with the moose and we have lots of pictures of moose trying to stomp her. One tried to kill me a few years ago too. You do have to run from them if they charge. This one was orphaned and I raised him for a while. We would go for walks together in the woods, and he would come running to me when I got home from work. But he wandered over to a neighbor's place and chased them all inside their cabin. He was playing, but they thought he was attacking them. The husband wasn't home, but he called me when he got home and said he was going to shoot him the next time he saw him. Wanted to warn me about the crazed moose - I didn't let him know he was mine. So anyway, I ate him. He was delicious. Timoga! Yes, we've been there of course, and also Tinago. We've been to the big mall there in Cagayan de Oro. I like the Ozamis area better than Iligan because there are high mountains and it is cooler up there. But I think Mindanao is beautiful. Not to mention having the most beautiful girls on the planet.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-08 15:04:00
Philippines	Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine	QUOTE im fascinated by this... 3 months w/ almost 100% daylight... i know alaska is like this and read a lot of fun stuff in alaska... what state you guys from? We're from Alaska. Interior. Live in a log cabin in the woods. Millions of acres of wilderness outside the front, back, and side of the cabin. This is a little better idea of the size of moose coming into the yard. My wife is five feet tall and 82 lbs (before becoming pregnant). The hot tub deck here behind this moose is five feet. This moose is probably 1200 lbs or so. But they get up to 1800 lbs: Lira is from Iligan City, Mindanao.	rlogan	Male	Philippines	2009-06-07 12:49:00