ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
PhilippinesPicnic Check list
Must be an indoor picnic. No .44 magnum.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-28 23:14:00
PhilippinesLooking For a Tutorial
The part missing from the tutorial is learning how to demonstrate absolute fealty to your God: the Government. Once you have shown years of strict obedience to every arbitrary, unnecessary, and degrading order, you are fit for the new America. The worst thing you can do is demonstrate a belief that the government works for the people instead of the people serving the government. Thank them when they kick you. Kiss their hand for slapping you. Don't open your eyes to see the twenty or thirty million illegal aliens all around us who just walked across the border. Because that would show that you understand the theory that all these hurdles are designed to keep out illegal aliens is horse manure fed to people who blindly obey instead of questioning authority and using their minds like a free people.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-29 15:56:00
PhilippinesHow needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area?
Mine has no need for it. Just because they are Filipino doesn't mean they are your kind of people. Same thing with me in the Philippines. I don't have any interest in looking for other Americanos. Casual meeting in a store or something is fine, but going out of your way just because they are Americano, no.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-22 14:25:00
PhilippinesDivorced american man now married to filipina

And you wonder why American marriages fail.


No, I don't. But I wonder about hypocrisy:

This is the frame of mind you expect people to have? Be selfish, put yourself first


You mean like this:

No, he is the husband waking up to make me breakfast, he does all the house chores and gives me pleasure.


Bragging about how much someone else serves you as if he were an indentured servant is a symptom of narcissism. What is absent here is any kind of reciprocity, which is the essential feature of my own marriage.

There is also a huge degree of resentment apparent here for women who are quite happy to focus on the home and child-rearing while the man works outside the home. That isn't 17th century. It is 21st century for an enormous proportion of the entire world. There is great honor in my view in being the wife who does so, just as there is honor in the man pulling his weight. If you reverse the roles, the honor is exactly the same: both are dividing the responsibilities and contributing equally to the marriage.

I sense a lot of resentment here and this is an interesting clue:

who expects to be valued because of what she does, not because of who she is


Consider the adage "beauty is as beauty does" or any number of similar wise sayings from biblical proverbs to the present. Actions speak louder than words, etc. The entire point of who we are is what we do. You have a lot of contempt for household chores and making breakfast, yet brag about how your husband does that for you. So what does that say about how you view your husband? If this woman here does so, it makes her a 17th century submissive wife. So I guess that's what your husband is.

See, the whole problem here is denigrating what work someone does. We should not denigrate doing chores and making breakfast for someone. We ought to be grateful for it, and give praise to whoever is working regardless of the kind of work they are doing. The misandrists are the ones who speak so derisively about the traditional role of women as wives and mothers, not the men. So when you speak derisively of that work, you are a hypocrite to say it is good when a man does it and bad when a woman does it.

And what happens when you really are "insecure, crazy, imagining things, too suspicious or don't allow him time with his "friends"?


Never been any of those things.

I have NEVER dated a guy that bad mouthed his exes in any way. Cause you know, at some point we might be those exes we delight so much in trashing today.


I didn't bad-mouth any of my exes. Manipulative people do exactly this: when you say please don't sneeze in my face they pretend you asked them to wear a full body haz-mat suit around you: pretending you said something outrageous. So when you say to have self-respect the manipulator pretends you said to be a selfish greedy pig.

Nobody here has delighted in bad-mouthing exes so this "advice" is not even relevant.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-30 18:22:00
PhilippinesDivorced american man now married to filipina

He started fixing everything when I told him that I felt disrespected as a wife and when I told him I will leave him and go back to my country bcoz i dont feel like a wife ...Thanks


Outstanding!

He would not respect you if you allowed him to continue with this kind of abuse.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-29 16:23:00
PhilippinesDivorced american man now married to filipina

It is called decency. People that are on decent terms with ther exes are rare, and they shouldn't be given grief about it. You, on the other hand, sound awfully insecure.


sure -

This is an example of a manipulative person without a conscience blaming you and putting you down, and it is exactly what someone treating their spouse like dirt will do. For this guy it is just sport, because he enjoys the idea of making a person who shows hurt feel even worse. But for a spouse it is to let them get away with bad behavior.

For example, when your spouse is having an affair they'll say how insecure you are, crazy, imagining things, that you are too suspicious or don't allow him time with his "friends" etc. If you were a decent wife then you'd let him screw the babysitter on the dining room table in front of you.

The only person whose business this is: YOU. I would never treat a wife as you have been treated nor would I put up with it. So I understand how you feel. But if your husband is making you unhappy then that's the sole issue for you. It is very common for a manipulative spouse to show affection to other people instead of you. Why? Because they know how it eats at you. They know how much stress it causes, and this weakens you. It wears you down. It puts you into a depression where you can't eat, can't sleep, can't think straight - it is emotional warfare to keep you in a weakened state and easier to manipulate. The text message during dinner was not to make his ex wife feel good so much as to put you down: watch me show you that you are less important than my ex-wife.

You said the right thing about going back home if he doesn't stop. That's right. It's what you have to do: either he treats you with respect or you go. There's no reason to live with a husband that does not put you first. What a miserable life.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-25 22:37:00
Philippinesbad american or bad problem
Navy Seal Team 6 is sending live feed here to the situation room. Heavy casualties are being reported and collateral damage of three brown-tail tuna necessitates cease-fire and negotiations for terms. Situation has been elevated from San Miguel to Tanduay status.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-06 16:37:00
Philippinesbad american or bad problem
Yeah, Moro Islamic Liberation Front.

But Gowon has the right spirit, so who is in charge of the San Miguel for this thread?
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-05 23:57:00
Philippinesbad american or bad problem

Still dont get it.


An illustration might help:

Posted Image
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-05 20:25:00
Philippinesbad american or bad problem
I see no choice but to involve yourself, and in a big way. Fly there immediately. You're going to want to involve both the Philippine National Army and the MILF on this one. The U.S. has some ships being sent to menace the Chinese in the Spratleys but those can be diverted. Start with heavy artillery off those ships to clear the beach for an amphibious landing while the MILF operatives are taking out power lines and bridges. Then bring the Philippine Army in with a massive infantry assault, real WWI human wave blood and guts drama on this one.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-05 19:05:00
Philippinescollectors

The problem is that you married a 19 year old girl.


Yeah, sixteen is nice but an older woman has that life experience. So I married a 19 year old too.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-22 17:09:00
Philippinescollectors
Because they feel like it.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-19 23:22:00
PhilippinesCommission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) Manila

Since everyone has a different experience in the K-1/K-2 VISA process, I thought I would share our experience with the process.


The best case scenario for a person of moderate intelligence and initiative is having your time and money wasted, but smiling and joking with you while they are doing it. Can you imagine if you started interviewing THEM? Tell me about your marriage, how you met, do you go to church, do you fight, does your husband drink, smoke, or gamble, blah blah blah. They'd think you were insane.

Almost nobody but me respected my wife as an adult through this whole immigration process. All along the way were people protecting the poor ignorant child from her husband. There are some "happy faces", sure - they are the ones with the power over us peons so it is easy for the King to be in a jovial mood. So long as you show ignorance, gratitude, and abject obedience - you'll make it through. But if you demonstrate offense to being treated like an ignorant child - now you are in trouble.

Burn this into your mind: they think you are an ignorant child, so you have to act like one to get through this easily. Act like a fully-informed adult with initiative and concern for having your time & money wasted - and you will be punished.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-07 16:15:00
PhilippinesManny gets the shaft
I watched the fight live and was shocked by the decision. I had at most three rounds to Bradley. Not that I'm an expert but I was a finalist in two different amateur state championships, so not exactly a #######. Lederman had one round to Bradley. So 115-113 Bradley on two cards was incredible to me.

But as always Manny was gracious, diplomatic, and humble. There's nobody like Manny Pacquiao.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-10 01:21:00
PhilippinesHow Long are you Visiting Earth ?

The north won what.. You forgot some of us ain't surrendered yet. :)


For all such men of dignity and courage - eat your grits with pride.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-04 19:52:00
PhilippinesHow Long are you Visiting Earth ?

Breakfast for Americans depends on Location.

Mostly common is eggs, bacon, toast, pancake, waffle, hashbrowns

In the South of the USA, its also Grits , Biscuits , or biscuits and gravy


Yes, and it behooves us to remember that the North won the Civil War. Some do cling to archaic losing breakfasts but history is on the side of eggs, bacon, and hash browns.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-04 18:59:00
PhilippinesManila too dangerous for my fiancee to stay there...
Sam Walton drove an old beat-up pickup truck and bought clothes at the thrift store when he was the richest man in the world. Wealthy people don't get that way by letting other people guilt-trip them into abandoning thrifty behavior.

With third world marriages especially, establishing the "rich Americano" front in the beginning can lead to some really big problems down the road. Once you've taught them to expect the red carpet, it multiplies in a thousand ways with unintended consequences. It can be right for you to fly back and forth, but don't be laying on the guilt with other people for not doing it.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-06 23:32:00
PhilippinesManila too dangerous for my fiancee to stay there...
The worry is proportional to how much they have to pay themselves. When the Americano is picking up the tab, there is enough worry to warrant staying in the Hilton. When the family is paying, then it is a bedspacer.

They should know what bedspacers are. My wife found hers just looking for signs on buildings. She paid less than a thousand pesos for a month.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-06 20:54:00
PhilippinesReport her or Not?
Immaculate conception has precisely the same validity for Gretchen as it does for the mythical Mary. So I'd be a little more careful if I were a Christian sneering at Darren.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-13 13:38:00
PhilippinesReport her or Not?
She doesn't know how to reach him.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-29 20:58:00
PhilippinesReport her or Not?

the saddest part ot this is that there are children involved...


Oh but it's so cute to see them enrolled in scammer school with Mom, Dad, and the Americano dupe. Just think how they get to play-act when the Americano visits. They memorize lies to each potentially damaging question. They get their candy and clothes, toys, cell phone maybe - as a pay off.

How could that go wrong?
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-29 00:37:00
PhilippinesReport her or Not?

Why are you judging me and acting angry toward me.....you dont know me.


Not judging you. Not angry. Don't know you. In fact I stated I think we are in agreement about quick money, as opposed to long term security.

I did call her for what she is. Please don't confuse that with an opinion about you. That seems to have caused you to miss the point of the post.

Edited by rlogan, 28 April 2012 - 10:29 PM.

rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-28 22:28:00
PhilippinesReport her or Not?

I feel sorry for "Maria" and the american husband because it sounds to me like Maria did not find "Love" but instead only money and security she was looking for.


There is no security in being a lying, cheating scammer. She has found no security. Only a temporary scam income. The fact she can do this to him means she has zero respect for him so this relationship will end soon enough. She can't put on that act 24/7 once they are living together.

Security, and money is obviously a component of that, is found through a man that provides a lifetime stable environment to raise a family. To get that, a woman provides security in return by being faithful, trustworthy, improving your life and taking care of you - not doing what this woman is doing.

I think we are in agreement actually but would word this differently. I think it was pretty clear she was a scammer from the outset, looking for the quick money and not security. Because you don't steal if you want security. You steal when you aren't thinking at all about the future: just get your hands on some cash right now quick, and stealing will do that. If you want a whole lifetime of money instead of just a quick scam then be a faithful wife.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-28 18:10:00
PhilippinesIs it really need to attend CFO seminars?
The most important thing to bring is the right attitude. The last thing you want to do is demonstrate you understand this is extortion by people who have been given the power to withhold immigration from you if you don't bow down before them like a good little slave. Act like you are grateful for having your time and money wasted, and that you are an ignorant weakling child in comparison to their incredible intellect and majesty.

Then go on to live a better life than those petty tyrants who have one thing in life to be cheery about: their little power trip on the immigrants they envy. Know that behind this petty tyranny - they wish that they were you.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-15 18:37:00
Philippinescooking
We had a cook when my wife first came. After the two kids came we had to start cutting back on expenses so I said "honey, why don't you learn to cook and we can get rid of the paid chef". She said "OK honey, then you learn to screw me properly and we can get rid of the gardener too."
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-17 00:10:00
Philippinescooking

hmmmm. I will be going ot visit my fiancee this coming week and they always cook way too much food. Especially rice and they throw it out to. I suggested they give it to the neighbors who have very little and they asked me why. So I asked Ann why she cooks so much and she says they never know who might show up so they want to be prepared for guest if they stop by.


Something wrong with this picture.

Throwing out food (money) can mean it is someone else's money. You are helping them financially?

When i visited her relatives in Quezon they did the same thing, lots and lots of food because they presumed since I was an american I needed to eat a lot.


There is often the "party, party!" "special occasion" "won the lottery" atmosphere when the Americano shows up. Roll out the red carpet. Charter limo, pig roast, live it up, and oh this is all for the Americano even though he doesn't want it. So take a guess who it is really for.

This may not be the case, but put a stop to it if it is. They can't be blaming their own excess on imaginary guests and you.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-16 15:31:00
PhilippinesHelping her to adjust to life here

Love readng all your comments. My asawa will be here next month hopefully. The house cleaning thing has me really stressed out. I am not nasty but I am challenged in that area. I see most of you saying don't worry about she is going to redo everything anyway. Makes me feel better.



Ha ha - don't worry about it! Sure, do what you can. There's no way your place could be worse than mine! I think I am in the running for some kind of title in slum living. She's supposed to improve your life, right? Let her do the job she's more than happy to do.
rloganMalePhilippines2011-10-08 18:53:00
PhilippinesHelping her to adjust to life here

but seems like impossible to him to take me there...


i just learn that,you cannot depend yourself to others all the time you has to do something also to help out your self..from your own willingness....


Wow, I have to agree too with Dave - that was great about taking charge yourself. But I am a little sad about the husband not taking you to wright wood! More than a little sad, actually :(

To the OP -

With mine, it was all about communication. Having her tell me what she felt, every day, for better or worse. Feelings are facts. So we get those out on the table and talk about them. Most of the problems we have are due to poor communication. Filipinas can tend to keep their feelings to themselves and be stoic, but keep after her. If you sense any kind of problem, have her tell you. It is not fair to keep it from you and deny you the opportunity to make things better.

For us, it worked wonderfully. She never got homesick. Did Yahoo chat with family. But then things went wrong. She started acting in bizarre ways, almost like she had lost her mind. At one point I was so exasperated I looked at her and said "this is it, you are REALLY over the line now, ####### is WRONG with you?! Then it dawned on me. She was pregnant! We got a pregnancy test kit, and sure enough - knocked up and hormones running amok.
rloganMalePhilippines2011-10-06 22:36:00
PhilippinesUSA or PHL
We want the kids to experience a free country so we'll be moving to Philippines as the U.S. continues to degenerate into this wretched Master Race world empire abroad and military-industrial-security-banking complex tyranny at home.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-16 15:47:00
PhilippinesUSA or PHL
We want the kids to experience a free country so we'll be moving to Philippines as the U.S. continues to degenerate into this wretched Master Race world empire abroad and military-industrial-security-banking complex tyranny at home.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-16 15:43:00
PhilippinesInternet Love or not to Love?

I never said anything about "no love." And yes, of course some women here in the states still look for financial security...



You dismissed what a woman actually feels, and poofed this conceited definition into existence so that you could judge others and put them down.

One of the ways you did that was to say that people get married under the pretext of love, but in reality it is just economic security. Since there is no justification for your love on USCIS forms, this accusation about false pretext is a lie. In your conceited world, a woman cannot love a man for rescuing her from poverty. The truth is there's no purer love than that. This is knight-on-a-white-horse Cinderella type love for those of us that have it. :)

So long as it is a fairy tale then poor young Cinderella is allowed to fall in love with the richest man in the Kingdom and live in a castle for the rest of her life. We all root for Cinderealla. But if she is a real human, now her love is not pure. Cinderella is just a ####### and the Prince is exploiting her. What that proves is how envy, jealousy, and crab mentality operate in real life: cut other people down rather than be happy along with them for how thrilled they are in finding the partner they love.

Instead you tell Cinderella how much you pity her living in the castle now and what a creep the Prince is. When someone stands up in the middle of our Cinderella story and drones on like a bore about how our love isn't pure, this is the kind of person we avoid interaction with in our lives. Because this person is always going to be looking for the malicious way to frame things and justify it by saying he is a "realist" with lies and conceited (nonexistent) definitions.

Edited by rlogan, 21 June 2012 - 02:51 PM.

rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-21 14:49:00
PhilippinesInternet Love or not to Love?
Heh. Your love is not pure. :lol:
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-20 18:28:00
PhilippinesInternet Love or not to Love?
There is a poll on this site "How did you meet your fiance" that is running about 50% for online meeting. Chat rooms, games, dating sites. It isn't random, but regardless shows the numbers meeting online are huge.

We met in person first. Then after a month back here I flew over again and stayed about three months with her family. Applied for I-129F after returning home, in our 5th month together.

People lie more online. Google search provides studies showing over 80% lie on dating site profiles. The top lies: women lie about their weight and men lie about their income. How telling! So it seems ordinarily decent people can't help themselves when their "facts" can't be checked. Online romance dictates strategies to neutralize lying. The most effective way to eliminate the lies of the women: a nude chat session straight off. For the men, show their tax returns for the last 3 years before seeing his picture. This is the best data-based science I can give free of charge.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-20 15:22:00
PhilippinesGeography lessons
First day we met I took her to google earth, asking her to show me her place. Because she was in Manila as a nanny for a merchant seaman family, but grew up on Mindanao. She had never used google earth before, and like Caryh she didn't even know how to read maps. So she could not find her own place. Their schools are awful unless you enroll them in a prestigious academy. She was a very bright girl in a terrible academic environment.

I came back to the Philippines right after we met, and was over there for three months. Although she had been to college one year already I used the GMAT book and a bunch of other college prep stuff to try getting higher entrance exams and get into the best school she could. We studied Math, science, geography, English - while I built a house at the same time with her father. So that was a really cool experience even though she ended up having a couple of kids instead of going to finish her degree in accounting. So of course we did a lot of study on Alaska too. I had a LOT of pictures, and I had installed the internet in the house we built so we used that together to explore the world.

All this, before our first kiss.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-30 17:43:00
PhilippinesDo you Believe in Aswang, Mumu or Mangkukulam?
Sure there's superstition in Philippines like most countries.

In traveling the most remote impoverished and illiterate provinces the biggest evidence of that is seen in the one building that is not a clap-board shanty cobbled together out of scraps from the road. It stands in such blazing contrast in all its glory - concrete and steel construction with hardwood decoration inside, stained-glass windows, a towering giant. Empty all but one day, for a matter of hours. As a money-collection machine that has financed the building along with the guy in the satin robe up front. They, dressed in rags. Giving what few pesos they have.

Talk about an eye opener. What superstitions can do.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-07-19 17:16:00
PhilippinesLess and Less Communication

Maybe your right about, maybe Im acting too mad or bothered about this. I thinking you have some good
point about some of what you said. Im really confuse about what to do now.
Im thinking maybe Im give in him some freedom about what hes going to do there when Im not there ?
Other post have also good advice, but always wants to end this relationship. This is the only so far
thats seems maybe gonna be good marriage after.

Wish Im gonna make a decision about and not keep going back and forth. If this post is not going to
happen then Im decision was to not marry this person, now Im thinking about if Im to do that.

Now Im just pray and hope make right choice.


Roller Coaster! :D

You have to trust the other person's word. Even if you are swingers, they can't lie, do things behind your back, manipulate you emotionally, etc. My wife and I are a little more liberal than the average about fooling around in principle, but not lying and deceiving, leaving the other person guessing what is going on...

Think about how you feel right now. Isn't it great anguishing over this, not eating right or sleeping? That's a pretty good idea how it's going to be married to him, except worse. Right now is your honeymoon period. :)
rloganMalePhilippines2012-07-02 00:55:00
PhilippinesLess and Less Communication

Im going to broke up with my Fiance ....


Hey, congratulations for the courage to ask, to press for your right to be treated with respect, and to choose control over your future.

Your day will come. Because you did this now.

Edited by rlogan, 30 June 2012 - 10:58 PM.

rloganMalePhilippines2012-06-30 22:57:00
PhilippinesWhat are your hobbies?
My hobby before was getting in the teeth of things that could kill me and living through the thrill of it. But today's big adventure is taking two kids in a little red wagon on the trail. It's just as thrilling as blowing away two out of the three grizzlies charging you. I've done that, and am quite serious about the comparison. I had no idea kids would be this much fun and excitement.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-07-21 13:40:00
PhilippinesIs this typical for a Filipina?

To all, thanks for the feedback. I talked to my fiancee last night, and told her the feedback I got from members of VisaJourney, and here was her reply:

She trust me with the most private,personal and intimate details of her life – so we do not lack trust in each other.

After she realized I have pretty big dreams for her, and have confidence in her, more confidence than she has in herself, she felt embarrassed to tell me her relatively modest and basic goals and dreams she has for herself.

While she appreciates me thinking ahead for her sake, and having confidence in her, she cannot help but think that I am not totally objective, and that my confidence in her, is based more on my love for her, than on the basis of her actual accomplishments to honestly justify such confidence she has in herself. Understanding this, I now realize that it is not enough to tell her I am confident in her, I will need to help her experience more successes in her life, to slowly help her build her self-confidence.

She also acknowledged that I am more the strategic thinker in our relationship, and she is more comfortable as the tactical thinker. That's not to say which type of thinking is best or better, but rather, given her current circumstance, of just day to day survival, she feels it is appropriate for her to tactically think, about near term issues, to accomplish one step,before she thinks about the next step.

So I will be more patient. I told my fiancee, when she is ready to talk about her dreams and goals, I am ready and willing, to help her believe in her dreams and goals, and then do what I can to help her achieve it.



In short, you told her you would put up with it. On the logic that she shares all her most intimate secrets with you... except for the secret ones.

Your locker at the boxing gym is being cleaned out.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-07-21 19:25:00
PhilippinesIs this typical for a Filipina?

My fiancee told me she has some goals and dreams. She just keeps it to herself, at least for now. I hope she will eventually be comfortable enough to share her goals and dreams with me, but time will tell...

To Mogambi, my fiancee's goals and dreams may very well be different from mine, which is one reason I asked her, instead of assume that I know her dreams and goals.


Bingo! This is your marriage risk. We don't have enough information on your history to know how to evaluate it. Maybe you met her on the internet, saw her once for three days, not even in her city, and all this talking about things is online. Couple that with being secretive about the past - and its a sea of red flags. On the other hand you may have a long history with this girl.

They're yellow flags at the least. Is there some emergency to get married without knowing her well enough first? She could open up over time and become a fine wife. When they don't tell you things it is because they don't trust you. Could be a girl with self-image problems, depression - any number of things. But I would want to know someone's hopes and dreams before pledging marriage.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-07-19 18:09:00