ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
PhilippinesWhat's everyone doing on 12/21/12?
Looking forward to the end of chirping idiots too stupid to look up for themselves that the Mayans never claimed the world would end.

The fact they could put forward an accurate calendar that far in advance shows how much smarter they were than the morons who swallow this pathetic new-age misrepresentation.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-12-20 16:18:00
PhilippinesTo flee poverty, Filipinas marry foreigners

But then again, it seems that many non-asian men feel so entitled and so heroic that they are getting an "exotic" submissive women.

You guys would get along withthe whoremongers at happierabroad.com


I'm just so glad you revealed your true self after showing you have no evidence for your claims. Calling the husbands here "whoremongers" and the women therefore prostitutes. :D

This is an important insight into the rescue industry and feminazis: what they are really all about is hatred of pretty typical people on this forum. They pretend something else with these vague but incendiary terms like "human trafficking" and "marriage brokers".

That's why it is important not to let them get away with lying about domestic abuse statistics and lying with phony rhetoric.

Here is an alarming article with some actual data in it on domestic abuse in the Philippines:


My link

The data, released by the US State Department, showed that the Philippine National Police (PNP) reported 9,225 cases of domestic violence against women and their children from January through November 2010.


That was a 91% increase over the previous year. That was quoted from the 2010 Human Rights Watch report, which was produced in 2011. I just looked up the summary report for 2011 here:


2011 report Human Rights Watch


Not one word about foreign marriages and abuse. Instead, there is a section on domestic workers being abused abroad. Kang obviously has no concern about abuse of Filipinas because if that were true she would be looking at the appalling Philippine statistics and the plight of domestic workers, and not wives who don't even get the attention of reports by human rights watch.

Now of course Kang is pretending that we are saying there has never been any case, ever, of a Filipina abused by a foreign husband. That's the tactic of people with hidden agendas: to misrepresent what other people are saying.

Interesting that Kang has no timeline, no country, no talk of her own immigration situation that I can see from previous posts. I didn't look through all of them, but most of us who actually are involved in immigration talk a lot about our spouses and our own situation. Makes you wonder what is really going on.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-11-13 16:01:00
PhilippinesTo flee poverty, Filipinas marry foreigners

I say, men who want submissive wife deserves to get scammed. Good riddance


I knew it! :lol:

Your propaganda was mimicking the feminazi tactic of saying women who choose to stay at home and raise children are abused. A home-maker is submissive.

Even though it is entirely their choice, you keep repeating how much you hate men who have "submissive" wives.


...expect submissiveness then cry foul when he gets scammed.

You just got what you deserve.


You have a lot of hatred inside you, obviously. :D

This hatred lays bare another arm of the anti-immigration coalition: the feminazis. I don't have any problem with their hatred for men, who cares. But just don't expect us to marry you when we have millions of beautiful women worldwide who appreciate a man that provides for them.

That's what makes them so angry: the competition blows them out of the water. Comes down to jealosy and envy.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-11-12 15:40:00
PhilippinesTo flee poverty, Filipinas marry foreigners

This is creepy. SK subsidizing mail order brides but cant protect them....


http://www.democrati...ress=364x226491


Make that five articles in a row now without a shred of evidence on abuse.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-11-12 13:36:00
PhilippinesTo flee poverty, Filipinas marry foreigners

I wish the article would also put the blame on east asian countries that allow marriage brokers. Those married this way have incredibly high domestic abuse.


You have cited zero data in making this assertion. The last article said nothing about domestic abuse statistics. Four in a row so far.

I guess you are counting on us not being able to read, or just immensely stupid.


While i do not mean to paint intermarriage in the bad light,


You are doing just that, and without data to support it.


i hope foreigners and pinays here will be more willing to accept the reality that these are happening.


We aren't a herd of cows, so probably not likely.

Edited by rlogan, 12 November 2012 - 01:33 PM.

rloganMalePhilippines2012-11-12 13:32:00
PhilippinesTo flee poverty, Filipinas marry foreigners

The concern should be towards using marriage as human trafficking front. It is becoming prevalent in pan asian marriages and many do not end good.


Show us the data instead of just saying its true. Do you understand what data is? It isn't citing one example. It is showing how many out of the total are "human trafficking", and what definition you are using.

There is a lot of stupid propaganda terms used like "marriage broker". So what if a person operates and introduction service. So what if he charges a fee for a successful introduction?

Using the deceptive term "broker" makes it sound like the wife is PURCHASED from someone who OWNS her, and treated as CHATTEL PROPERTY. We had such a system and it was called slavery. Brokers did act as intermediaries between people buying humans and people selling them. But in this arena the term is used deceptively to pretend the same thing is going on.

The rescue industry is absolutely dependent on that deceptive propaganda, in order to insinuate this is a huge problem of human slavery. But look at the "solutions" they propose to see what it is they are really after - and it comes down to MONEY.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-11-11 15:57:00
Philippinespregnancy... and traditions

I am learning that there are conversations men are not to know about as well as conversations men as just supposed to not bother inquiring about.


This is a pretty simple tradition. The wife invokes it whenever she wants to keep something secret. You should show reverence to the tradition. Immediatly upon invocation of secrecy you must attend mass at the strip club with a fat wad of bills and present your mistress with a large piece of golden jewelry.

Do tell us what subjects are traditional to conceal from the husband. Besides the ones on premeditated murder, fraud, and such. Because all of us are keen on learning about Filipino traditions. :)
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-18 13:18:00
PhilippinesWhat are the best ways for an old Kano to keep a young Pinay from getting bored on her day off?

We live in the sticks, public transportation sucks, and she doesn't drive. It's either drop her off somewhere, or keep her entertained.


Find her someone with common interests?
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-24 21:50:00
PhilippinesHow much do you send to your wife's family monthly ?

Total bull.


Well don't take it as some kind of consensus view, to put it lightly.


Filipinos are nothing but conniving when it comes to extorting money from friends and relatives. The usual modus operandi is to spend all your own money freely, then go broke, so that you can leech again off everybody else. No need to plan ahead, when you wait until the last moment, then everything becomes an emergency.

In the US, the rule is: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.


This kind of manipulation will happen if you let it, and the irony is our friend Gretchen seems to be doing just that while saying the opposite. There is a little too much "White Man's Burden" in some of his posts, and if you read about that poem by Rudyard Kipling the subtitle is "The U.S. and the Philippine Islands" so I mean this in the exact literary and historical sense.

Kipling was doing a parody of US Imperialist bigotry, but was clever about writing it in a way that resonated with the imperialist bigots instead of understanding he was mocking them. The Filipinos are referred to as "new-caught sullen peoples, Half devil and half child". We were torturing, killing, and raping our way across the Philippines back then. Taxing them under penalty of death. Double-crossed their great General Aguinaldo, by tricking him into helping us gain victory over the Spanish - only to make the USA their new owners. So it was abject hypocrisy and cynnical propaganda lies, saying the opposite of what you are doing all the way. But they believed in their own propaganda so much that Kipling could openly mock the USA and get away with it.

That kind of doing the opposite of what you are saying in the Philippines, but believing in your own propaganda, rescuing the savages - nothing new here. Kipling published the poem in 1899. The messianic fantasy going on in a person's head can be completely at odds with the facts on the ground and there's nothing you can do to dissuade them of it.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-24 01:08:00
PhilippinesHow much do you send to your wife's family monthly ?
Ha! I don't know exactly how much we send. My wife doesn't work outside the home but she has her own money because I put regular deposits into her checking account plus whenever work is good I'll drop a thousand bucks of "mad money" in there. Whatever she sends is her business.

I'm going to guess ballpark three hundred a month. Plus tuition to merchant seaman college for a brother. I paid that because it is my agreement with her brother. I can' think of how things could be going better. The father had been unemployed for a couple of years before I met my wife. He's in his fifth year of continuous employment and gaining better skills along with higher salary now. We're happy to help. Their life has improved a lot, they're grateful, my wife is fulfilled in a big way.

We built a house together and we stay there of course. We'll build another one too and they'll help with that. Since we are retiring to the Philippines, it is a little more important to take advantage of extended family reciprocity.

If we were strapped financially we wouldn't do it. Everything is on our terms. I knew the score in the Philippines before I met her. I said "I know what is important to you" :) We're going to help your family. But the we're going to be smart about it and not turn them into manipulative wards. I'm real proud of my wife for how she has handled the money situation at home. Because we see it ruining families more than helping.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-20 02:01:00
Philippinesk1 denied

We have tried to figure out what could have been the red flags.


Thanks for doing this. If I were ranking these, this would be at the top:

She asked if I ever applied for a visa before. Yes,I did for a tourist visa and was denied. It was last yr. She asked me what happened. I told her I was going to visit my best friend in college who had given birth that time and she wanted me to come. She was looking at the screen and reading something. I think it was the record of my interview last year. And then she said that I was going to meet my fiance. I said yes it was also part of the plan. I think she didn’t like that part.


She's probably tried to frame this as you trying to use a tourist visa for what amounts to a K-1 entry which is too bad but goes a long way towards biasing her against whatever visa you applied for next. But if that's what she is thinking then the K-1 is exactly what you should be applying for. Seems capricious.

She asked about our meeting...like when and where and how long and why did he leave soon. I explained about his classes that were going to start soon. She also asked why he didn't come again. I said that we are hoping I can get to the US and it will save us money with the ticket and other expenses.


How long was he there? It sounds like she viewed it as a perfunctory thing rather than a genuine stay together for the purpose of working on a relationship. So that is something to work on bolstering.

She was saying you cannot fall in love to someone you haven't really met


I wonder what kind of experience this woman has. In conjunction with the above two, this is fatal to any similar application before this woman. :(

First of all the interview was here in Singapore and we chose to have it here because I am currently working here.

She asked,how did you meet your fiance? I met him online.Which website? I gave the website and she asked me to repeat. She asked how long we have been talking. By the way, my fiance is an american and I am a filipina, I'm sorry to say but we thought this could have made her suspicious. . Then she read some of the emails and said that you plan to have children with someone you haven't even met?? So I said we were planning our life together and I love kids and we were romantic in the email.

She asked where he stays and what he does right now and asked about his income. So I gave her the evidences for his income. I explained how he gets paid and his privileges as an ex-army.

Then she started to ask for more evidences... gave her the pics, some more emails, cards, letters,chat logs, phone bills and credit card receipts.... then she asked again for more evidence to prove our ongoing relationship...and that's all I have... I even asked if it's money remittance? She said NO, not money. I told her we talk and chat everyday. That's how we keep our relationship going right now.

Then she told me the result.She said that I'm not eligible for the visa because I was not able to demonstrate our ongoing relationship. Gave me back my papers and walked away with the other papers and then I said I asked if we can we appeal? She said NO APPEAL...other option is you get married.


What bothers me is that she didn't say what kind of evidence she expected you to give. First they make American visas nearly impossible to get, and then they blame you for not seeing each other. It sounds like she wanted way more time together.

There are other details that could matter - you saw each other in Singapore then? Who knows what story she weaved in her mind, but someone can juxtaposition things in a way that is really to your disadvantage. Sounds like she did that.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-13 18:17:00
Philippinesk1 denied

Do you guys have an red flags? Big age gap?


Age gap is not a red flag. It is unhelpful to promote this myth.

***************

So now we know the interview was in Singapore, which is a curious (major) thing to leave out of the story. There are probably other elements we don't know as well, but it is hard to know what to ask. A complete story of the relationship might tell us something that mattered to the CO.

Marriage doesn't guarantee she will be approved for immigration.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-13 13:14:00
PhilippinesLocal Woman Shots Attacker
Heh. 4'11" with a .357 magnum.

She doesn't need to say "please" when she's pointing that thing.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-28 20:14:00
PhilippinesMarried to a Filipina

he always see the bad things, complains and insult. I mean, most of what he said was true coz that's what he saw but the thing was RESPECT. I am a filipino and I know how bad it is, how people live in squatters area, etc.

He always say how poor filipinos are, cheap, monkeys or whatever he likes calling it, it hurts and bothers me coz I am a filipino.


My wife met foreigners like that when she was in Manila working. When they made comments about poor people they were talking about her family so she had no interest in them in return. She was surprised I wanted to go live with them. But hey, I was on to Filipinas for over twenty years before I nabbed this one. Targeted one on account of her culture specifically.

Watch how people treat the doorman, the waitress, the common people on the street. This is a measure of their character. They'll be careful to kiss the behind of whoever they know is above them in employment or power, but they'll show their true colors when looking at people they view as beneath them.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-28 21:35:00
PhilippinesMarried to a Filipina

I would like to here some Pinay perspective on the various topics discussed so far.


Who dosn't? So if there is some cultural misconception going on then out with it. Let's hear it. We have one loose cannon right now blundering around and others occasionally but it certainly isn't representative so it should be addressed specifically to them and not all american husbands.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-24 01:32:00
PhilippinesMarried to a Filipina

I just find it funny reading posts and comments here sometimes. The American husbands talk like they are an expert on Filipino cultures especially when it comes to family, money, marriage and education.


Yeah, we should make fun of them for learning about their wive's culture. Best to lump all the american husbands into the same durogatory group of "experts" too. There certainly can't be a single one of them that knows a thing about Filipino culture, right? (Kind of a misnomer because there are so many different cultures in the Philippines - but oh dear I fear bringing on more contempt for knowing too much)

Can you elaborate on what you find so repugnant about learing your wife's culture? And how bad it is to share that on an information board dedicated to just that kind of thing? Are there examples of cultural misunderstandings you are here to correct? Because if not then you have no business commenting derisively on people sharing accurate information.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-23 22:43:00
PhilippinesHow do you get from Haneda Airport to Narita Airport
We've never had to do this, and at Narita you don't have to deal with customs, luggage, and passport control so for those who have - is this a full entry and exit rig-a-ma-role with all of your baggage going through customs, or do they shuttle baggage for you or what?
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-28 20:05:00
PhilippinesPinoy Planning

Before everyone gets all worked about stupid american Men thinking they know Pinoy Culture. I agree People are people except for this.


I call it the Pinoy Planning committee- It's the most Bizarre phenom I have ever seen. One Pinay has an idea to all meet somewhere. It's passed on to the others who then further the plans without consulting the original planner. Often times you end up with groups of people at the wrong place at the wrong time, and no one quite knowing where to meet. .


The one thing to never, ever do is concede away responsibility and accountability to people that place low value on their time. Oh what a wonderful adventure - wasting four hours just trying to agree on where to meet. Ha ha ha. Wheeee!
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-28 20:38:00
PhilippinesGetting SSN for K1 before or after married?
Social security offices are about the worst trained you are going to encounter. Ours was so bad we ended up waiting until after she got her green card, and even then they tried to stop us. We waited a whole three weeks after she got here to apply. Gosh, not much more than a year later she finally got one.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-06 00:46:00
PhilippinesNeed filipina Advice

I just don't understand...


So sorry Paul for the anguish. You're going to feel much better when you give her the boot.

She's been getting away with murder because you've been kissing her little fanny. Be kind, but send her highness back. Marrying a teen has certain benefits, but if they don't have good character this sudden acquisition of power turns them into a lazy, arrogant little monsters.

Don't let this one put on a spurt of sex and charm to get that ring on her finger. If she already did, so what. Divorce her. Of course she doesn't like your family. She has the same respect for them as she does for you.

"Beauty is as Beauty Does".
rloganMalePhilippines2012-03-15 14:03:00
PhilippinesBig surprise for my wife and I
Yay!!
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-07 21:01:00
PhilippinesShe's doing it again.

Marrying a foreigner is the only way a Filipino can have the option of divorce that is recognized in Philippines. They do not allow divorce at all inside the Philippines, or recognize their own citizens as having valid divorces if they file outside the country.


My wife says the rich people can do it. I don't know the particulars. She says it takes a long time but she confirms readily there's no divorce for common people.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-04 23:16:00
PhilippinesShe's doing it again.

I have a heart to do good in life and a mind to think correctly.


:dance:

I have some empathy for the mods, but that's why we pay them the big bucks.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-04 22:39:00
PhilippinesShe's doing it again.

Yesterday she asked for pancakes for breakfast.... She then opted to not eat, because she was not hungry.

...she started complaining about being hungry. She then proceeded to walk off in a huff.


I mentioned this before as a juvenile manipulative stunt. Creating the problem themselves... Then blaming you for it. The more practiced manipulators are very cunning and subtle about engineering these instead of playing it so obviously like a six year old. Regardless, the difference between this and kicking you in the nuts is that at least kicking you is open and above-board instead of underhanded and deceitful.


All this because she didn't put a measuring cup back and I interrupted a phone call.


Well, no - that may be a catalyst but it merely set loose all the built-up resentment, disrespect, anger, etc. that is at the core of your problems.


You mentioned you "don't believe in divorce". The problem with that is the only way people like this learn is by having consequences to their actions. Younger and immature women need to have their boyfriends leave them because of their malicious behavior. Then they learn cooperative behavior. But if they are just malicious people at heart then there is nothing you can do about them except leave them. If you have told her you don't believe in divorce then you've told her she will never be held accountable. You're going to have to change that belief or else she'll change it for you. It doesn't mean you divorce her tomorrow, but if she doesn't start acting like an adult then by the time you do finally decide to divorce her then it's too late. You will despise her so much from so many years of abuse that any chance of forgiveness is lost.

If she is 27 years old and therefore 23 when you got together then she's either got a personality problem or she just doesn't love you. The fact she is pregnant and you are on a diet can be factors but this has been a long-term problem. One of the things you have to do is recognize that the purpose of malicious behavior is to get you angry. To hurt you. The instant you see what they're up to - call them on it and refuse to let it work on you.

Lira put her wedding & engagement rings down on my desk in front of me three days ago and said "We need a break". She was angry because I made her do something difficult in deep snow on the snowmachine and it has been hard for her to get over her fear of it. But it is absolutely a life and death matter if we are twenty miles out in the wilderness and she blows it like she was doing in practice. But when she put the rings down, I started laughing, and finished the script for her: "I really mean it this time...". I got her laughing too. These Filipina Units do have a manufacturing defect called "Stupid Pride". If you yell at them for making the same mistake three times in a row that's the best way to call stupid pride into action. So they'll "show you" by quitting. Then they're going to act out maliciously. So I diffused it instead of letting it ruin a whole day. Whenever she does this I tell her I know exactly what she is up to, and it isn't going to work: you want me to be angry. If you butt heads with her then it just escalates.

She has spent three days practicing now, and she is getting much better. I hid the wedding rings real quick while the kids had her attention distracted at the time of this little event. Heheheheh. I let her know where they were yesterday. She thought she could find them without having to ask. Hopefully you guys could get to the point where you can overcome stupid pride like that and end up making a fun game out of what happened.

Counseling is definitely in order for its value in impartial referee service. Not that she is all to blame. Nobody's perfect including you. But if she won't do it then the future is pretty easy to see. She's going to use that baby as a manipulative weapon to hurt you, and ultimately the real victim is going to be the child.

"Shaming" is what the literature calls it when she says that you "can't handle it on your own" without a counselor. She knows that is deceitful and underhanded, but she has no scruples about that. This is the reason for bringing her into counseling. So that when she is guilt-tripping you, lying, shaming, using selective memory, etc. the counselor can call her on it. When it is perpetrated upon the child, or if the child is made a pawn in the war between spouses - it is a bad environment for them to grow up in.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-01 17:49:00
PhilippinesGot Green Card

We got our Green Card issued Yesterday. Almost exactly 11 months from K-1 filing to her here and receiving Green card. When you follow the process and meet the guidelines it is a fairly painless process..

I wonder if the rest of you noticed this phenomenon. NOA1 made me excited and I followed VJ closely. By the time the NOA2 came I was ecstatic and that period of time between NOA2 and interview almost drove me crazy. The day she traveled I don't think I slept a wink and tracked her flight every 10 mins. It seems that between the Marriage and the time you waitng on the Green card, though you settle into your married routine and the green card seems like a small milestone, instead of the huge life changing experience. It really does not change a whole lot except she is legal now.

I will add this also. For those of you still new in the process wondering if it is all worth it. The answer is a Big YES. Hang in there. Don't read those internet horror stories about Men that get taken advantage of. I have figured out that when that happens, it is usually because they made poor choices. It is as good as you imagined..


It isn't a huge life changing experience because it is merely temporary permission to stay. Only two years. Then you will get one-year extension letters while you work through removal of conditions, which will take even longer and gets you another temporary permssion to stay. Finally, a few years after that you can apply for citizenship. By that time people are fully conditioned for citizenship in the New America, which is where our lives depend on bureaucrats who withhold cards, licesnses, permits, etc. from us while we beg them on our knees and pay, pay, pay. We also accept words meaning the opposite of what they say, like "permanent residency" which actually means temporary residency.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-11 22:07:00
Philippinespsychiatric test st. luke's
This is really awful. I'd have to agree about attending the interview and also preparing mentally for the possibility of moving there.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-08 12:36:00
Philippinesthis so bs this so so bad! ao upset what is going on
It's amazing to see people defend what is stupid on the face of it.

It's a "good idea" to brush your teeth, but tyrannical to have the government erect bureaucracies to force compliance.
It's a "good idea" to exercise, but tyrannical to have the government erect bureaucracies to force compliance.
It's a "good idea" to have a balanced diet, but tyrannical to have the government erect bureaucracies to force compliance.

The list of "good ideas" is infinite, so if we make "good ideas" into laws that require bureaucracies to enforce them all we are going to get is infinite bureaucracy and tyranny.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-13 13:20:00
Philippinesthis so bs this so so bad! ao upset what is going on

It was just frustrating for me because it was the only step in the process I was not involved in. They told her horror stories of women being abused and incorrect information about america that seems like it was from 1960's america. The packet looked like it had been photo copied a million times.


Petty Tyrants.

They get joy out of scaring people and forcing them to grovel at their feet in order to get their precious sticker. That's why the seminar is about the horrible things in the USA they are rescuing you from: it's about justifying themselves. We are expected to grovel and express wonder in their brilliance, their graciousness to give us lowly serfs their blessing.

Mine called me on a cell phone to ask my Mother's Maiden name. She was 20 when her visa was approved. She had no signed statement from her parents. She did her seminar in Manila in 2009.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-10 16:17:00
PhilippinesCFO Orientation

Those females at SMEF-COW and PRISM really are drunk on power and high on bureaucratic-crack!


As always the government treats citizens like they are stupid little babies, and need mommy government to tell them how to pee.

So they take stupid little babies that don't know how to pee, and put them in power over us. The applicants know far more about the US than these bureaucrats who have out-dated information and are envious of the people leaving for a far better life than they will ever have. So it is their one chance to persecute people they envy.

Edited by rlogan, 15 May 2012 - 01:52 PM.

rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-15 13:50:00
Philippinescountry music

how did you explain country music???


My piano teacher said the explanation was the decline of civilization.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-19 21:40:00
PhilippinesMy Philippina's Driving Lessons.

I am surprised you had that much damage to your Toyota. The wife took out several large shrubs


She ran into our plow truck, not shrubs. Backing up. Ripped the bumper off.


This is the big fix. :D Posted Image

If she hits you with this thing, it's going to leave a mark.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-08 15:38:00
PhilippinesMy Philippina's Driving Lessons.
This is Phase II of the bumper modification program. She ripped the bumper off backing up into the plow truck. You can see the twisted-up metal that used to hold the old bumper. Incredibly flimsy. When I'm done with this we'll ram one of the junk cars laying around and see what kind of ooomph it's got.

Posted Image

This is an off-road mini-logging truck. She's got a car for driving.

Edited by rlogan, 08 May 2012 - 12:10 PM.

rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-08 12:09:00
PhilippinesMy Philippina's Driving Lessons.
You guys are bang-on about the smaller car. Civic - wow, that would be perfect. I see three sources of wisdom in the paid lesson approach. The first is that you are paying to avoid confrontation in the relationship. Secondly, a professional instructor has the experience. Third, he has a brake. All three close calls we had were from her being stubborn about slowing down. If I had a brake then she would be more cooperative because I could enforce commands.

We're way too far out in the boonies with children we can't leave, so we're locked in to doing it ourselves.

This is a situation where two affectations of some Filipinas are dangerous. The first is the habit of pretending to agree when they aren't listening at all. She gets away with ignoring a lot of what I say, but this is a time when she has to pay careful attention. Repeating commands back to me made a big difference there. The second is throwing out a random answer, and looking at your facial reaction to see if they got it right. Because that is how you get the "right" answer - by seeing what makes your husband happy. Not that you need to be able to think it through yourself the next time. But this is a thing you do in love relationships, not work.

I can see how my wife's programming is largely "husband is happy with me" vs. "husband is angry at me". If she is wrong, and it is inevitable, she instantly goes into defense mechanisms because her emotions have taken over. This is the worst kind of student: combative and stubborn. Do it wrong and then quit, going off in a huff. Would your wife ever do that to a driving instructor? He's nobody to her so there's none of that relationship ego/pride involved.

I might pay one to do a mock exam to see what areas she has to work on. $70 an hour.

Edited by Kathryn41, 05 May 2012 - 11:42 AM.
two words added to change implied sterotyping

rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-02 22:26:00
PhilippinesMy Philippina's Driving Lessons.

Have her drive in the back roads where its not a heavy traffic, still have stoplights and stop signs but less cars. Thats where I practiced when I tried to learn how to drive. Then, I chose middle of weekday to drive in the highway when it was less traffic, just on/off the same ramp until I learn to merge better in the highway.


Yeah, agreed. We did not plan well coming in to town when all the church people were letting out.

It comes down to communication. She's had ideas she invented in her head that baffled me. For example, to make the car go straight she would align the steering wheel straight (wrong). I would say go straight go straight! go straight, pointing my arm straight, and she's fixated on the steering wheel, heading hard right.

When backing up, her logic was it must be the opposite of what you do going forward, which is wrong. So I would see her ignore my instruction, go through this thought process, do the wrong thing every time, watch her get increasingly panicked from starting with the wrong move - Gah! Show me your left hand. Your LEFT hand. No, your LEFT hand.

AlohaBabes - this is one time when a man is in his right to raise his voice to his wife. You are absolutely right the man needs to be really calm and nurturing when she is following instructions. But if she disobeys a "stop" command four times and your life is in jeapordy no - you have to do what it takes to stay alive.

We try to make the agreement every time before we go that she will swallow her pride and be a team player. The biggest danger is copping the attitude of "he's telling me what to do..." I'm glad she agrees on that. A wife doesn't cop that attitude with a paid instructor.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-01 21:18:00
PhilippinesMy Philippina's Driving Lessons.
She has her learner's permit. She can four-wheel drive in the woods on all kinds of machines but town is vastly different, and far more dangerous.

It may not be a big surprise, but before we left the property I had one condition: when I say "slow down", you take your foot off the gas, you put it on the brake. I don't care if you agree. You are wrong. Do it immediately. She cooperated, and practiced. Overcoming sheer stubborness.

Town was crazy traffic today, but we had Kim Chee withdrawal. Made a run to get the Korean powder and fish oil to make a batch & get other supplies. All the churches had let out and people went shopping. In a bad spot I said "slow down". And incredibly, some idiot in oncoming traffic turned right across heavy moving traffic and the only reason why we could stop in time was because someone slowed down. I mean it was screaching tires for all of us, with the guy on our right too. It could have been really bad.

So she's downstairs making Kim Chee instead of pulling glass out of her forehead.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-29 21:14:00
PhilippinesMy Philippina's Driving Lessons.
Slow Down.

SLOW DOWN!

SLOW DOWN!!!

SLOW DOWN!!!!

PUT YOUR FOOT ON THE BRAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rloganMalePhilippines2012-04-29 00:28:00
PhilippinesFinances and Such ... Philippines

It's emotional blackmail. Then the wife feels hurt, because after all that, there is nothing more than an acknowledgement that the money has been received. No thanks. No promise not to let it happen again.


This is the rule for emotional blackmailers: never show gratitude because that would imply they are indebted to you. The blackmailer must keep the mark in a perpetual state of obligation. If you gave money to one person - then you are a bad man because you did not give to everyone else, which is unfair. With practice, you learn how to make people feel bad no matter what they do.

You hear a lot of people say that many Filipinos think money grows on trees here. That isn't true. They aren't idiots. It is the evil rationalization they use to justify the demand that you hand over money, just like a bank robber who says the bank didn't do anything to earn the money. They want to justify theft so that's what they say. It can't be explained to them that people have to work for money. They already know. Admitting that means admitting their own bad character, which is something they won't do.

Good people can become corrupted by becoming wards, but it can be fixed too if you handle it right. Like saying "no". :D
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-27 15:29:00
PhilippinesFinances and Such ... Philippines

:thumbs: Everything is an emergency as well because they wait until the last minute. No planning ahead, no saving for the bills that will be due soon. "Send us money now, because the bill is overdue." Or, "The examination is in the morning, and if you don't pay, I can't take the test."

But they all have the latest smart phones, and brand name clothes.


Actually, they do plan ahead, and this was something very important my 19 year old had to agree with me about or else I wouldn't marry her.

When the electric bill arrived, knowing that it would be shut off in 30 days without payment, her mom instantly thought "I'll wait until the day it is about to be shut off and then tell him about the emergency". Every day for 30 days the bill is concealed from me while non-essential requests are made of me. It is important to ask for them instead of revealing the electric bill being due, because if we tell him about the electric bill, he will pay that instead of the non-essentials. If we play this cruel trick on him and make it look like it is his fault the electricity is shut off, then we get both the non-essentials and the electric bill paid for.

She was either going to agree with me about how calculated and cruel this was, or I was out of there like I had JATO rocket boosters strapped on. Each of her little tricks was played just once on me: like borrowing money behind my back to spend on frivolous things and then springing the "emergency" of debt being due. I went back to the moment of borrowing and discussed the planning involved: I'll conceal this from him so I can spend frivolously, and spring it on him like a vicious predator pouncing on a stupid rabbit later.

All predators camoflage their true nature. This kind of behavior is played like they are innocent victims, hapless infantile boobs that can't plan - but the fact is their planning is actually very cunning and without mercy. She was honest about this, and had to admit some hard things about the people she loved most. But the result was we have great relations with the family and none of this ####### has been played on me for years. She had an aunt supporting the family from Japan who allowed this kind of behavior, pissing away tragic amounts of income with nothing to show for it. The father had not worked for two years when I met her. But now he's been working for four years straight and none of this kind of thing happens any more. The Aunt had facilitated bad behavior, so that was the result. It wasn't bad planning or failure to plan so much as it was cunning and cruel planning on how to set ambushes to manipulate others into paying your way.



Enjoy Glacier Bay Tahoma. Pretty neat place. We don't get to the deep South much. Hard to understand their accents down there. :D
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-26 14:31:00
PhilippinesFinances and Such ... Philippines
We get all kinds of name brand stuff. Shirts are $2, pants $6 at the thrift store. I got sweatshirts from obscure religious camps, rock bands I don't like, and sometimes get comments..."Oh dood those guys are great, saw them in L.A."

For cars we have mostly Subarus - eight of them including the one I buried for a septic system. The most expensive thing in the yard is a 55,000 lb dump truck. That was five grand, but looks like four. We prefer the newer rigs, the newest one is a '91 Toyota truck, and we use that for logging so it's by far our favorite. I had a Honda CRX we got for $300, but they clocked me at 104 mph in that thing so it was best to get rid of it. The ticket cost more than the car.

We like to keep our car payments to a few hundred ideally. Not per month. Total. She helps her family, but that is her business.

Anyway, it is real important how we look to others so clothes are important. If you don't wear clothes people are going to stare. With cars, they have to be reliable. If you have eight of one model, it's a cinch you can get at least two running at the same time.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-25 23:21:00
PhilippinesPicnic Check list
Must be an indoor picnic. No .44 magnum.
rloganMalePhilippines2012-05-28 23:14:00