biggish data

Any stories/experiences from Filipinas moving to the boonies here, such as upstate New York or Maine, where the closest shopping mall is well over an hour away and the only stores in town are 1 redneck bar and a small convenience store/gas station? I'd love to hear it.. lol.

Interior Alaska here. We live in a log cabin in the woods. Heat with a wood stove, and cook on that a lot too. Two days ago it was still thirty below zero. I was a pretty crazy bush pilot and still own my supercub but after having kids I really lost the urge for all the extreme wilderness flying I was doing. I didn't mind crashing twice before and nearly killing myself but I feel differently about it now. The last time I took my wife up we were holed up in the Alaska Range for about a week by some glaciers, and when I popped up over the range there was thick, black smoke from forest fires for the remainder of the 90 miles home. I had to fly right on the tree tops in order to see anything and having her in the back, pregnant, was just too much. I've never taken her up since. We broke down six miles from home once on a snowmachine when she was eight months pregnant, and had to walk home. That was also a thirty below zero night, pitch black from cloud cover.

That's why having our boys walking in the woods is normal. It's our home. People are so stupid sometimes with the inability to conceive of any life except their own, so you hear about boys walking in the woods and pretend it is something shocking, earlier in the thread.

I think tomorrow we're going up in the high ground by snowmachine and will take a video of the area since winter is coming to an end soon. It's hard for people to even understand how vast the wilderness is here, and we live right on the edge of it with moose in our yard regularly, sometimes bears, and rarely wolves.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-03-30 21:44:00

That's funny I wouldn't be on an internet forum saying your son was wondering in the woods and nobody knew that he had left. That's called child neglect and endangerment. Not knowing where your 2 year old is, isn't something to be proud of. I can pretty much guarantee the number of people who would think the worse parent is the one who let a 2 year old wander through the woods, rather than the one who had a 17 year old that was bad at knowing the names of streets.

Hi old friend. Been waiting for that chance to make the big score, eh?

So report me.

Malicious people have already done that. For starting his walking exercises at two months old. We followed early infant learning experiments in the peer reviewed literature. So when the state workers came we showed them the papers we were following. Our pediatrician told them the same thing.

That's why two years later he could do that. And we live in the woods. He's out every day in it.

He learned to read at two. Playing chess at three. Learning piano. Uses a number of adult computer programs. Paint, word, email, chess, google earth, youtube videos.

That's how neglected he is.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-02-23 23:57:00

I've lived in a number of US cities and in most cities in the US kids don't ride bikes much anymore

So Filipinos have more bikes than Americans? You said you disagreed with me.

Google tells me more than half of americans owned a bike. What proportion is it for Filipinos? Ten percent at best? We have way more experience than they do.

BTW, I just showed my son your comment. While I will admit he doesn't know all the street names around here

You said he only knew ONE. Now he knows almost all of them?

Boy he sure learned a lot between those two posts!

he does apparently know how to call you a very bad word - and in three different languages I'm a proud father!

Well tell him I said hi, and best of luck in all things.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-02-23 23:28:00

Don't think this is completely true - at least not in any urban area of the US. First off, unlike when I was a child, kids don't ride bikes anymore. It's become rare, especially for transportation purposes. I knew every street in my neighborhood as a kid; my son who just turned 17 only knows our street. Why should he know? If his parents aren't transporting him, the bus is and every kid with a smartphone has a map app with turn by turn navigation. Knowing about streets and how to navigate yourself has become as old fashioned as knowing how to do math without a calculator.

The bigger issue is that we live in a culture that values independence. All the old jokes about men here who refuse to ask for directions are true. We consider it a badge of honor to get there and do everything on our own. In PI, a culture that values inter-dependence, if you don't know how to get somewhere you just ask your friend or tita to take you. Problem solved.

So the girl used to interdependence has an adjustment to make, and her husband used to independent American women (overly independent IMO) has an adjustment as well.

You've confused cause and effect.

USA = 3 cars per household on average (from US Census Bureau)
Philippines = 81% of households without cars (From Philippine Engineering Journal Report 2004)

That isn't because we value independence and they don't. That's because our per capita GDP is $50K per year and theirs is $4K per year. If you raise the income of the Philippines to that of the USA, they'll be buying cars just like we do and Drivers' Education will be in the high schools just like here.

If you don't own a car then you don't need to know how to drive somewhere. But you do need to know which Jeepney goes to the place you want.

If I was on a forum saying my 17 year old son only knew the street he lived on I would be embarassed beyond measure. My son, at two years old, could find me in the woods nearly a mile from home. I was shocked the first time he had navigated that far on his own. My wife did not even realize he had left the cabin to find me. At three years old he can use google earth to find grandma's house five thousand miles from here. He is definitely ahead of his cohorts in a lot of respects, but geez - a 17 year old that doesn't know anything more than the street he lives on is appalling.

Edited by rlogan, 23 February 2013 - 07:08 PM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-02-23 19:07:00

She has had two instructors so far, one was so scared, he didn't bother to show a second time. The second took her out a few times, and there was no noticeable improvement in her driving skills. My wife's problem is she freezes under stress.(She has PTSD, and her family really messed her up.) When she t-boned a car entering a driveway, I decided the lessons would not continue until I get a car where I have my own brake pedal.

This is quite common amongst people who have no experience to draw from. In the USA kids have bicycles, mini-bikes, go-carts, bumber cars at the fair, etc. and they drive in cars as passengers watching forward, seeing the drivers actions instead of Jeepneys where you are in a crowd looking out the sides and not learning. Additionally, we learned on streets we had been driving all our lives so that removes one important stress factor: knowing where you are and how to get places.

One of the most aggravating things is trying to get them to think ahead. Even understanding what "think ahead" means is hard to impart for someone that doesn't see the point in it. You get off when the Jeepney stops at the market. Why would you bother memorizing what is around the next corner and preparing for it? So you have to force them to start thinking ahead by asking them questions. Where is the next stop light? What is around this corner here? Are we going to turn right or left at the next intersection?

Going up and down hills: ten miles an hour up, a hundred miles an hour down. So you have to point ahead and say do you see that hill coming? So what should you do to the gas pedal? Should you wait until you are going ten miles an hour or should you start giving it gas going into the hill? As you are reaching the top you have to call their attention to the other side and ask them what they are going to do with the gas when they reach the top of the hill. Mine really resented doing this in the beginning but I had her start calling out to me what was next and what she was going to do about it. "There is a curve coming up so I am going to slow down". If you can get them to start doing that before they get behind the wheel it removes the problem of freezing up.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-02-23 15:43:00

Nice tips. I plan on saving us both the headache and get a driving instructor.

That is also a very good plan. Because they treat the driving instructor as an authority figure, so they don't ignore him.

The other thing we did was go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and follow the tester on their route. Then she practiced the route. That took all her nervousness out of it and also let her practice the parts they purposefully put in there to trick you.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-02-21 21:20:00

One issue might be helping the family back home. You make the decision about what you are going to do and the answer to anything more is "no". It's that simple. They may try a variety of manipulative tricks, mostly along the lines of creating "emergencies" to guilt-trip you into sending money. If you teach them that this works then it will never end. But if you handle it right then things work beautifully.

Communication with family at home can be by webchat. Mine still does this every day.

Mine doesn't do tampo. It is easily seen through, so just tell them you know exactly what they are up to and to say what is on their mind instead of playing games.

For driving lessons there are a couple of very deadly cultural traits of Filipinas to avoid. One is their habit of saying "yes" or "uh huh" as a means of showing cooperation when in fact they are ignoring you. The other is stupid, stubborn pride which interferes in their following instruction. The stakes are life and death so these counterproductive habits must be eliminated. The way we did it was to have her repeat instructions back to me immediately. So if I said "slow down" she repeated "slow down", instead of me saying "slow down... slow down!... slow down!!... SLOW DOWN!!!!"

The other was before leaving the driveway to have her agree to set her stubborn pride aside and do exactly what she was told the instant she heard it. But we still tested it before leaving the driveway. I would say "stop" or "turn left" with no reason - and if she gave me a funny look and didn't follow the instruction then the lesson was over for that day. What happens to so many Fil-Am couples is that the wife ignores the instruction so the husband raises his voice, and the Filipina then gets angry at him for raising his voice.

A lot of Filipinas have backwards third-world superstitions. These can't be attacked when they are rooted so deeply in their culture. Be respectful, as I was for mine. But eventually with enough science education and Bible study she dropped Christianity altogether.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-02-21 20:05:00

st lukes discussion

Someone forgot to take his chill pill.

Dear, dear. I find no joy in the recreational bashing. I can't be proud of a lynching. It's too easy and I look bad enough already without makin' fun of someone else.

What good can we make of this? The US State department has travel advisories for Americans in the Phillipines, and the upshot is "keep a low profile". Especially on Mindanao fer cryin' out loud. How can one go to Mindanao and not experience the begging? So much poverty and suffering there. Steve Kindy was assassinated by a Marano in Iligan City last year - this is a grave matter. Your comportment. I am not saying Steve acted out of line - but that you are a target just by being an Americano. The State Department has stern warnings about MILF, Abu-Sayyef, NPA (No Permanent Address, hyuk), and plain old kidnap for ransom thuggery on Mindanao where your fiance is from most especially. Taxi gangsters in Manila. And the beggars. Yup. Pokin' ya in the side. The choking crowds. The pollution. Bureaucracy. Your Filipina beauty has a price.

So anyway, don't make a big drama out of perfunctory stuff. You get in line and lay low; don't demand special attention. That's why some of us recommended having her do this alone. There will be more instances of this kind of situation in the future. When you go to the Philippines. We are guests there. Think about some Mexican visitor to the USA writing those kinds of letters. I'm a Mexican dog gone it, and I demand a face-to-face apology etc. - talk about lacking perspective.

Well the eyesight is a bummer. Sorry for that hardship. It must have been an impressive willy on that security guard who was urinating. I mean for you to see it with that kind of disability. We're probably talking hung to mid-thigh or knee level even. Porn star/absurd strap-on class size. :blink:

Kidding!

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-09-17 00:47:00

Is Pre Departure Orientation Seminar in Manila a must?

This is one of the times people stupider than you figured out how to squeeze money out of you and force you to kiss their rear end by withholding something you need in order to immigrate.

For those of us who have some dignity, self-respect, and intelligence enough to actually read about the place we are moving to for the rest of our lives - just endure it knowing that these gassbags are full of envy so they're going to tell you about all the horrible things that will happen to you by immigrating and try to ask questions to trip you up. My wife had to call me in order to ask my Mother's Maiden name. Wow, that sure provides an amazing degree of protection for those poor Filipinas all marching off to be beaten by their husbands, doesn't it?

This is a Philippine requirement. But one thing you should not mistake: the ghastly bureacracy you face on the American side of this is not something that you have to go through in order to finally taste the legendary freedom in the USA. This is PRECICELY what the USA has become. If you try to run your own business, develop property, introduce a patented life-saving medicine or whatever - it is going to be exactly the same kind of idiotic counterproductive bureacracy punishing the law-abiding people while tens of millions of illegal aliens run around freely and tens of thousands of illegal drug pushers are selling in plain view on streetcorners or obvious crack houses, etc. all over the country. Unlike Philippines, all of your communications, web browsing history, etc. is tracked by the government and even joking on facebook is dangerous for how it can result in you being arrested.

Child protective services raided our home for teaching our children to walk "too early". This was for us following peer-reviewed published literature in early child development journals, produced by the best researchers in the world, and discussions with our own pediatrician. They couldn't take us to court for such an idiotic accusation, but they can raid your home and terrorize you. So don't be naiive in thinking that the USA is some citadel of freedom on a hill. What you are going through right now is a very good demonstration of what it is like here, and your experiences at the Social Security office, the Department of Motor Vehicles, etc. can be just as bad or worse than you are going through now. It was for us at both DMV and Social Security. The SS office claimed she wasn't entitled to a SS number, then filed her papers wrong three times, lost it, then tried to have us commit a felony by changing her I-94 stamp. They actually told us to do that!

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-07-24 20:53:00

My questions are:

Why are some people so compelled to steer a thread in this direction?

Why are they so fascinated by couples with large age differences?

55% of the people who answered the age-difference poll on this site had more than 10 years age difference between them. At a site where the majority have wider than average age differences, it is naturally a topic of discussion. But you are right that for some it seems to be a crusade. One crusader was on the Effects of Major Family Changes page recently derailing threads. Got a problem? You have a big age difference, right? People like that are sick, blah blah blah. It is no different from racial prejudice. Someone is free to be a racist and condemn others for marrying I suppose, but it is pretty creepy.

The internet is disproportionately populated by the antisocial personality disordered, who are eager to attack anyone for anything the disordered think they can make people defensive about. Normal people too have less incentive to be civil with others on the internet because of the anonymity and because the disordered are already there posting, lowering the bar for everyone else. Age differences are easy to attack because special interest groups have been pushing the negative stereotype that foreign immigrant women are either human trafficking victims or prostitutes for money and green cards. Jealousy and envy lead people to pick up that ready stereotype to attack with.

Sex sells. The topic of age difference is at its core about sex. The man *gasp* is doing it with a young hottie. For whatever reason, this is not just a privilige we afford the rich and powerful, but we actually expect it from them. The hypocrisy involved here is clear when you consider the kinds of things people say about it, eg "He would never be able to get a hottie like that in the US unless he was rich or powerful..." It signals the hypocrisy that yes, if you are rich and powerful in the US you get the younger hottie, but if you are an ordinary joe then you do not deserve one. You cheated. So this is a topic about illicit sex to some. The man is acting above his station in life. Outside his class or caste. This actually is very offensive to some people. It's almost as bad as rape I guess because this third party did not grant their permission to the couple, so the third party feels violated. From the rear, I hope. :lol:

Not the exclusive reasons it is harped on, but those are offered free of charge.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-07-02 20:47:00

Your trying to compare the two and that's impossible,

Huh? It is impossible? I guess I am superman then because I just did it. :dance:

Well obviously when we take silly positions and are called to defend them, the silliness compounds.

but I wont even go into telling you the differences because I'm sure you already know!

Right, well - we have a bad argument followed up with no argument at all. No actually, I don't know the differences insofar as rights of people are concerned.

In the interest of furthering the silliness I think the right answer to you, insofar as the mere ten year age gap with your partner is... is that the best you can do?

Hey, edrotar this really is in good spirit and we can disagree without malice. But for your information, here is a poll on visajourney:

Age differences

More than half the respondents (55%) have an age gap greater than ten years. So it seems you have called into question the majority of marriages on this forum. Just think about that for a moment: The gravity of condemning the majority of marriages where you are presently posting. On what? Their age difference, which has no bearing on marriage rights between adults whatsoever. Well, what else does not meet your prejudices? Maybe all of the marriages are unacceptable for one reason or another, eh?

The silliness of saying ten years' difference is OK. And may we ask why? Well that is the age gap for you, right? Delicious hypocrisy of course: any difference greater than mine is unacceptable. You don't have to defend your own age difference this way.

If you told me that seeing a black man with a white woman made you feel this same revulsion, I would say the better thing to do is ask yourself why you feel this way. Because the problem is not the black man and white woman having the relationship, but whatever prejudicial blindness you have. It is the same with age. The way the rights work here my friend is that people of adult age have a right to choose their companion, and it is not your right to interfere. You have no say in it. Race, religion, age, nationality - there isn't any basis to declare it illigitimate.

You have the right to your opinion, and we can cheerfully agree to disagree. I point out though that you have literally condemned the majority here and a wiser thing to do is to become more tolerant of the majority and respect their rights.

cheers, and I mean it.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-06-30 21:32:00

I can fully agree with this, cause Ive seen it on here. I've also seen it in person at Paradise Island and our hotel in Manila. There were men in their 50's with young girls and I mean as young as 18.

Shocking. I can't believe it. Are you pulling my leg here or did you actually see this? It's almost too incredible to believe. In the open? Why don't the police stop them?

I was telling my fiance who is 10yrs younger then me but still within an acceptable age bracket for me being 40, that there is no way they could bring them girls back to the states and it be acceptable by there families. I'm sure most of those men had children older then the girls they were spending their time with. It actually made me a little uncomfortable seeing that. Just is not right in the American Eye.

That's hilarious.

Posted Image

I don't follow old Hugh around but he's 85 and has done pretty well with a string of 18-21 y.o.'s over the years. Who is Donald Trump with these days? It is an endless list but in general it is acceptable for the rich and powerful to do it in America. They can even get paid handsomly to be on magazine covers or centerfolds for it. Treated like royalty. Royal priviliges.

Oh, but to see a mere commoner do it - why we can't have that! These men are not worthy, and neither are the girls.

Please don't take offense, I am trying to point out a general hypocrisy I see that may not be yours. You may be offended by old Hugh or the Donald et al too, but tens of millions of others sure aren't.

But you have to admit that the Philippines does have the most beautiful women.

I admit so eagerly. It's kind of an IQ test actually. If you answer yes to this question, then your IQ is measurable. If you answer no, you have no detectable IQ.

Edited by rlogan, 30 June 2011 - 05:25 PM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-06-30 17:24:00

One thing to keep in mind is that the islands and peoples of the Philippines aren't as homogenous as a landlocked European country or the US. There are separate language and ethnic groups. The Muslim society, largely in the Visayas but especially Mindanao, have a different culture from the Catholic majority, and there are also remnants of tribal societies to this day like on Palawan but even a few places on Luzon too.

Darren is kind of giving the conservative provincial charicature. Things vary between metro Manila and Cebu or any other place with a lot of foreign interaction by comparison to, say, villages in the Mountain Province or Kalinga or whatever. In some of the remote villages I trekked to near Banaue, the girls would get down on their knees and bow their heads down when I approached, not moving again until I had passed. I'm trying to get my wife to learn from their example.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-06-28 16:44:00

Here are the poll results from a VisaJourney survey at the time I made this chart, with over 400 responding by then. This was just K-1 people.

Posted Image

Over 70% online: gaming, chat, dating site, etc. Everything else was less than 10% individually: Fiance traveling, work, friend, family, marriage broker, etc.

It isn't a random survey because it is visajourney people that somehow managed to find the poll and answer voluntarily, but it is information nevertheless. Obviously, people predisposed to using the internet are answering the poll.

Pretty striking. People are meeting on the internet. Someone mentioned gamers. The poll and the thread associated with it showed that is pretty common. This World of Warcraft game - yea that was mentioned by more than one I think.

My wife was hunting a pair of lions for the government of India. These lions had eaten seven people in the course of two years. I was doing charity work for victims of the Tsunami, and she shot me by accident. One thing led to another and eventually we got married.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-06-27 14:44:00

Hello all,

I was curious how people going through the fiance petition met? I myself always have been attracted to Filipino women ever since I was in the military (US Air Force). I always tried to get stationed at Clark Airbase but never got a chance due to it closing many yrs ago. I ended up married at a young age to an American, which unfortunately didn't work out. Now after many yrs of thinking back (Im 40yrs old btw) prior to meeting my Filipino fiance (Ysel Jane), I made the decision to go to the Philippines and stop thinking that "what if" or saying "I wish I had traveled there". Best decision I ever made!!!!

I have some Filipino co workers and asked them how should I go about meeting a girl from the Philippines, one of them directed me to a chat/dating site called Cherry Blossoms this is how we met. Again this was best thing that ever has happened to me, and my fiance feels the same way. I made a photo video in my signature which tells our story...I would love for you to watch it and share your stories.

I met her with five days left on a three month trip. One of many, all of them at least one month. The first thing I did when I got home was buy a ticket back to the Philippines to live with her family for almost three more months. On Mindanao, Iligan City, along the border with the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao.

Throughout the islands I saw internet cafes full of girls chatting with foreigners. I had been to Luzon, Mindanao, Samar, Leyte, and Cebu by then - the same thing everywhere. The survey I saw here indicates the internet is by far the most common way people are meeting. It was interesting that people always asked us over there if we met on the internet, but in a way that cast suspicion upon us somehow. I didn't understand why, so I asked my wife. She said it was all these Filipinas stripping on the internet. Ha ha how silly. Sure, that was my thinking too - I just preferred the hands-on approach.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-06-26 16:16:00

travel to Philippines with an expiring passport

Roxane and I both kept our old passports, with holes punched in them. They just punched it and handed it back. That renders them unusable for travel (though I have heard some places will still accept them as proof of ID until the new one arrives).

So have I. Got two of them. But you can't travel to Philippines on a passport with holes punched into it. It's expired regardless of the date stamp.

It's strange phrasing to say he "still has" one, as opposed to having the old one returned with the holes in it. That's kind of a clue to most people it's not valid for entry.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-08-29 16:22:00

travel to Philippines with an expiring passport

Hi fellow vjers! yes I am here again, here's my concern

I am travelling to the philippines on October 5 and will be back oct 20. i renewed my passport today it says ill be getting my new passport in 6-8 weeks time which means I wont be able to have it on the day of my departure. I still have my valid passport with me good until NOv 8. So can I just use my old valid passport? and probably by that time I come back my new passport will be here. thanks to all the replies!!!

That's interesting because you are supposed to turn your old passport in with the application. If it is lost or stolen I think you do the same form as first-time applicants instead of the renew-by-mail application.

So you have more problems than an expiring passport. They don't like you keeping the old one because of the black market in passports. That's why they make you turn them in, whereupon they punch holes in it. If you knowingly do the form under "lost or stolen" when you have it in hand and then use it - expect trouble.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-08-29 13:17:00

Six month philippines visa extension tip

What are you doing messing with 6 month visa and BS like that? You are married to a Filipina simply get the Balikbayan stamp when you pass through customs - that is good for a year.

Because I had this little matter called "work" that kept me in Alaska a month longer than my wife, and also has me coming home sooner. You cannot get that stamp unless you enter with your wife.

I guess we can always count on someone trying to manufacture a put-down on a discussion forum. I just finished telling you that the children had the one-year stamp on their passports and presented photocopies of them to the Bureau of Immigration. So how could you possibly think that I needed to be informed of something I was already in possession of?

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-12-22 22:31:00

Six month philippines visa extension tip

If anyone is intending on a long stay here I just did the six month visa extension but have some information that will save anyone else a hassle.

They have not published a rule that says you have to get a one-month extension first before you apply for the six month visa, but if you haven't done that they will try to turn you away. The only place you can get the six month extension is Manila, so when I went there during my first month here and traveled to Manila that was the first thing they told me at the information desk. They said people come in every day not knowing that and they are sent away angry. .

I was pretty pissed off and asked to see a supervisor and while waiting, sure enough two more Americanos arrived and were turned back for the same reason. When I got to the visa extension line they told me I could only get the one month extension and would have to come all the way back from Mindanao one month later and get the damned six month extension then. But I asked for the supervisor and she came over. They wanted proof I was living on Mindanao, and fortunately I had a photocopy of my wife's Philippine passport showing our address on Mindanao, along with the entry stamps for both her and the children showing they had one-year visas.

So what they did was give me the one month extension and the six month extension at the same time, for a total of seven months. You don't save any money on visas because you pay for both. But it sure beat coming back to Manila or having to travel to Cebu several times for extensions.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2013-12-22 08:21:00

American vs Filipino

The SSI fund has a bunch of IOUs because Lydon Baines Johnson and his cronies stole all the money from SSI to balance the budget while he was in office, leaving the IOUs behind (and it became a way of "doing business" every since). SSI was very solvent before that! And still would be...

FYI the people on SSI today paid into the fund ALL their working lives... if the SOB... errrr LBJ hadn't stole it all things would be fine.

They're doing what the electorate wants. The retirees participation rate in elections is something like twice the youngest eligible cohort. There is no political counterpart to the AARP for young people. The older people have money and power whereas the young don't. So I don't blame politicians. It is the corruption in the people.

The system was wrong from the beginning. Old people that didn't put a penny into the system just started getting checks from working people. Every generation since then uses the theft from them to justify theft from the next generation.

The Filipino way is not only more honest, but retains the strength of family bonds.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-06-04 13:33:00

American vs Filipino

In the Philippines, you expect your children to support you in your old age out of a sense of obligation. In America, you expect the government to steal the money from your children and grandchildren for you.

Oh my GOD - what excellent "hypocrisy alert"!! Because so many Americanos have commented derisively about Filipino children supporting their parents in retirement! So yeah, the social security system in the USA! Not one penny in the bank. It is just a tax on young working people - a regressive tax - and every penny of it is spent. Not just on retirees either - what is left over after retiree payments is stolen by the current government to pay for the military industrial complex and bankers. The so-called social security trust fund has a bunch of IOU's in it because all the money has been spent. What that means is the children are not only going to pay for the retirees in the future, but also pay back all the money borrowed from the social security system to fund the wars.

But this is a light-hearted thread so... Filipinos like rice. Americans think they are the Master Race, have the right to rule the entire world, and are bankrupting themselves in that futile hubris.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-06-03 23:43:00

Your First Movie Together?

We watched Manny Pacquiao fights and other essentials like Hearns, Leonard & Hagler, Tyson, and Ali of course - long before we saw any movies together.

She says the first movie was Hannah Montana. Mostly we watch horror movies though. Backwoods slasher stuff.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-02-14 15:58:00

Interview finished, but?! Strange ending though!

You have to remember that you are not human to a person with this kind of unaccountable power over you. No more so than a bug or a worm.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-10-27 11:25:00

Yay finally in the U.S. now

yeah i guess hahaha .. funny how cold last night after the dinner outside wearing my jacket, jeans and t-shirt and i still feel so cold and shaking while walking hahaha hubby was hugging me a lot to stop me from shaking..

It's twenty below zero at night here now and a really cold one is sixty below zero. Driving on snowmachines or in the wind it can be a hundred below zero with wind chill. But my wife has never shaken from the cold. This is strictly a matter of not wearing enough warm clothing.

Eight months pregnant, thirty below zero, pitch black night the snowmachine broke down about seven miles from the cabin and had to walk home once. I could not navigate by stars or moon because it was 100% cloud cover and we could not go home the way we came in because it was far too long. So by seven miles I mean the shortest trails, and it was in an area I don't use much. The dog mushers use that trail system and have all kinds of routes going every which-way. Eventually we got close enough to where we could hear dogs in the distance so that took all the stress of making a wrong turn away. When the stakes are that high people don't under-dress for the weather. She had expedition weight gear on from Apocalypse Design, and we could have slept overnight outside without dying. People who live in cities in the lower '48 are more concerned with fashion so they're going to shake when it is a hundred degrees warmer than here. It isn't a matter of getting accustomed to the cold, but learning how much you need to wear in order to be toasty warm even at a hundred below.

So welcome, and have that husband buy warmer clothes for you.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-10-27 12:02:00

CFO (Mis)information

THe whole CFO thing is by far the worst part of the visa process. Worse than the medical, worse than the US Embassy. They are an organization of the worst kind, set up solely to collect revenue, and staffed with power hungry morons.

The theory of the little baby filipino immigrants needing mommy government to counsel them is insulting enough, but disproven daily by the misinformation these CFO dummies spread.

No, they don't coordinate with the BIA, they do not have accurate information on VAWA, and wearetheart made the point about the brain drain - that the people leaving are smarter than the ones in these CFO jobs.

I hate to admit to the truth, but the skill you need in dealing with them is to show how impressed you are with their intellect and how grateful you are for stealing your money and treating you like a child. The thing they love most is the panic in your eyes when they tell you "no".

It isn't just Philippines, but all over the world when you have some petty, low-level bureaucrat with a sticker or permit or signature you need to do something important with no accountability: You have to be mentally prepared for this. They don't get paid much but they can get a power trip all day long terrorizing the people going off to much better lives than they can ever hope for.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-02 17:04:00

I never said purposely hide things, I just said you can't possibly tell someone everything so better they be prepared and not over react when they hear something they didn't know. It'd be kind of dumb to not tell someone about a divorce, but there's some things that I wouldn't think that important. If you owed the IRS a bit of money I don't find that worth while. You usually don't tell people how much you have on your credit card... same thing. I don't try to hide things, I didn't even think about my bankruptcy until this post so then I told her. I'm trying to point out that you could have something on your record that you are unaware of, it happens and sometimes it is a mistake. So better to be calm than over react and start crying over something a stranger tells you.

I might have screwed up posting last night. She isn't going to be here anytime soon, still 6 months or so I would imagine. And she could change her mind, she really doesn't want to leave her family. I will be there in 2 weeks though.

You don't have to keep re-explaining what you "really" mean if you are straight with people.

I'm not trying to attack your self esteem just pointing out that you could be what I warn foreigners about. You live in Alaska which screams cabin in the woods hidden away from our real culture... I look forward to my fiance changing and becoming americanized, it will be very interesting...

Thanks! This is a kind of denial psychologists point out where you deny the thing you are about to do right before you do it. eg "I don't mean to be rude...[followed by rude statement]". Alaska isn't "real" culture. That's hilarious. :lol:

But no, you aren't attacking me - it's actually a compliment. Heh.

This is a great example of the whole point of the OP: being honest about who you are. I do live in a log cabin on the edge of the wilderness. She got hundreds of pictures, videos, maps, google earth - my God I was eager to tell her about shooting bears trying to get in the cabin or attacking me trying to steal my moose, wolves eating one of my dogs, heating and cooking on a wood stove, crashing two of my airplanes in the wilderness - this is the real deal here.

Instead of hoping someone would change when she got here I sought out someone who wanted very much to live like this, and had that life experience already. I was doing expeditions on the Amazon, the Mekong, Siberia, the Andes, and remote mountain provinces in the Philippines and met girls who grew up living much like I do - wood fire every day, tough accomodations, bugs, gutting fish, often without electricity or running water, etc.

I would not have accepted a girl who wanted to live a different way. Relationship 101 is taking people for who they are instead of hoping they will change. That seems to be what you are saying, wanting yours to change, but in the next post of course you will be saying that you really mean something else...

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-04 20:39:00

Just to quote what my husband said when I told him about this post.
He said that information that will possibly affect the relationship esp. should be disclose to your partner esp all the legal matters as your partner will share that burden with you once you get married.

My thought.... it's understandable that you can't tell everything to your partner as some you will forget esp fringe stuffs but important information or details about your individuality are hard to forget unless you've got amnesia and partner have the right to know.

I think some people avoid to disclose those matters to their partner because they think that their partner will not accept them anymore when they find out.

Exactly. What a manipulator does is take this reasonable position everyone understands: that fringe, irrelevant matters are not worthy of talking about - and uses that as an excuse for not telling someone about a criminal record, bankruptcy, divorces, etc.

And that is exactly why the Pinays cry at the interview. It is not because they are immature. It is because they discover their fiance is a con-man.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-04 12:42:00

You do have one thing right, my fiance does not use this site. Not because I don't want her to, but because she doesn't want to come to the US. I might have tried a little too hard to make sure I found a girl with out US eyes and she could care less about the visa. She wants me to move there so she doesn't have to leave her family, which would mean I leave mine...

I have already prepped mine that she will change a ton when she gets here.

So you're drinking while posting, and contradicting yourself. She's not interested in coming to the US... wants you to move there...except she's going to get here soon? :blink:

So now you have to explain again how you didn't mean what you said. Don't blame me again for this. Manipulative people are experts at wording things so that they can mean or not mean anything, and their stories change when people point out the contradictions. Honest people are so straightforward that their words cannot be misunderstood.

I notice now you are claiming to tell her these things that previously you questioned worthy of telling. :blink:

I could just as easily paint you as the guy who hides a girl in a small community like a prison to keep her un americanized so she won't leave you when she realizes you aren't an alpha male. To me that is sad. I have already prepped mine that she will change a ton when she gets here. I'll be just fine though if things don't work out for me, can you honestly say the same? Good luck!

Mine is laying down next to me in bed watching me type this, and we're closing in on five years now. I don't fall for these relentless attempts to attack my self-esteem. It is however a classic sign of a manipulator, and Filipinas need to see this in an Americano they are having a relationship with.

Edited by rlogan, 03 November 2012 - 09:43 PM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-03 21:42:00

Unfortunately Ca_babe hit the nail on the head. I tried to say it with out saying it, thought it was obvious what I meant when you need to conceal some things. I don't have a criminal record btw, I have more guns than a small army... ha ha. I would never tell a girl who is better in bed, what I did at a strip club, how many girls I've been with, if her sister is prettier than her... I could list about 100 things right now but I won't. If you don't have these "problems" than congrats. I tell the truth on things that matter, but some things should not be said. The original point was that trust should be there so nothing suprises someone to a certain degree obviously. Getting mad over a felony record and not knowing what it was for, with a stranger at an interview is pretty immature and worthless.

Thank you so much for that blame-the-victim mentality, and the relentless attacks on people's self-esteem as a primary manipulative tactic. Good stuff for fiances to beware of.

With all the bragging insinuation about being such a sexual beast to perfect strangers on the internet but claiming you would never tell your fiance, one wonders whether this visajourney account is concealed from her. Likewise informing all of us about your bankruptcy but saying she shouldn't know... it can't be both.

A lot of red flags here. Manipulative people are the foremost experts in explaining away red flags. It is called "plausible deniability". They prey on people's innate trust in others. Notice how that is the fundamental urging from our poster here: trust me, despite the red flags.

This is an important insight for all of us into why these Filipinas cry at the Embassy interview. Because it isn't that they just found out about a felony or bankruptcy or whatever. It is that all the red flags they saw but allowed their fiance to explain away suddenly come rushing to the front of her mind and she is overwhelmed. Deleted cell phone messages, blocked or concealed internet personas, the computer screen minimized when she approaches, the "you don't want to know" answers, etc: suddenly she realizes that she doesn't know this person.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-02 14:14:00

Well, it's possible that madtownguy's guy fiancee about his previous sexcapades, then she definitely doesn't need to know! Some things should be kept hidden! There is such a thing as too much information. Unless, there's a possibility of him having sexually transmitted disease. Then, she needs to know!

Sometimes, the spouse is not hiding something but there's a subjective answer to a certain question. For example, when I asked my husband(fiance) then what is his family like he told me that they're nice people. Well, after being married for 7 years, I couldn't take it anymore. I banned his mother and his sister from setting foot in our home again. They're under a 5-year ban right now.

He said he was concealing his criminal record and bankruptcy. Also, things which a fiance specifically asks about.

None of these are things that should be concealed. Maybe you would like to start evaluating what he SAID he conceals as opposed to speculating?

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-01 22:50:00

I don't lie about the past I just tell ex's or my fiance the truth to questions they ask. On occassion I have said you don't want to know and they get the point.

DaRoq - this is an outstanding red flag signalling something you DEFINITELY need to know.

The fiance asks him. Obviously, she wants to know. He contradicts her, telling her she does not want to know. Observe how the assertion of telling the truth is followed by not telling the truth in the very next sentence. The truth is she wants to know, and he simply says that is not the truth. :blink:

Look how we're supposed to "get the point" without actually hearing what the point is. Just imagine saying this to the Embassy official: "I asked, but he told me I didn't want to know." Even better: why not give the same answer to the Embassy official! You don't want to know. It's going to be automatic rejection.

It sounds so crazy to even have to say it, but you need to know all the answers to your own questions, and not take this kind of manipulative run-around as an answer. We see numerous times in this thread where we will be insulted about not "living in the real world" and being "immature" - just imagine telling THAT to an Embassy official!

If you are getting the manipulative run-around like this from your fiance then it is a pretty good bet that you are in for trouble not just at the interview but most especially when you arrive here. They've got you in a real bind then, and that is the whole point of concealing things from you - to get you hooked in so deep that by the time you find out it is too late.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-01 16:55:00

See TnJ has a perfect example, you can't tell someone everything. It's not a lie when you don't tell someone something, I don't know what world you live in rlogan, oh Alaska figures... Well here in the real world mistakes happen, things get on your record by accident sometimes. It's better to get your fiance to trust you and if she or he finds out you're a killer not to over react. Obviously I'm being dramatic, but still point being there are lots of things the government might think to tell your fiance that you might not thing is important. It's not a lie to not tell someone every single detail about your life, I don't like talking about the past it bores me. I certainly don't think my fiance would appreciate me telling her about every girl I've dated, so I tell her about important ones and leave the rest out. What about DUIs? Lots of people have them, should you tell your fiance something so trivial? BTW when you go to court you only have to tell the truth, not the truth about everything that happened in your entire life. If you trust each other you should be able to rationally hear a story about the other person and either say yes I knew or play it off like it's no big deal and address it with that person. Owing back taxes in my opinion is like having a missed payment on your credit record, who cares? Should I tell my fiance I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago? I don't think so my credit score is already over 700 and it was a financially smart decision. My fiance and I have one common goal, to have kids and start a family. Unless her or I have a child abuse record nothing else should matter...

Thanks because this is precisely what the interviewers/CFO counsellors are trained to spot: Shifty excuses for not telling your fiance about your criminal record or bankruptcy. If the interviewer sees that your fiance doesn't know, people are telling you by experience your chances of getting rejected suddenly go way up.

Gotta love this kind of manipulative reasoning: "I'm not going to tell my fiance about my criminal record because it's like telling her about all my old girlfriends". We get it, alright. Your fiance has a lot of this to deal with in her future.

My wife doesn't have a college degree and I have a PhD. But she knew what kind of work I did within a day of meeting me. The inablity to explain your work in a technical field to someone else outside of it shows a complete lack of empathy for them. That's a sign of YOU having a problem, not HER. My wife does not understand nonlinear regression. But she can understand me saying that I forecast energy prices. Or that I evaluate the feasibility of hydroelectric dams, ports, and other projects.

It's more of a put-down people like to use that others "couldn't understand" what you do. Everyone has things they do better than others. So what.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-10-31 17:57:00

I thought you couldn't do a visa with a criminal record... You can't possibly tell your fiance everything, I think it's better to just have them prepared so if they hear something they don't over react... then you're covered!

You can't tell them "everything", so omitting major facts is OK? This is exactly the kind of rationalization a person needs to flee from.

I don't think my fiance knows what I do really, it's not important and she will never understand it just like any other girl I've dated.

Yeah, girls are stupid. I'm thinking this is a trolling post, not serious.

I think the correct response if someone says did you know your fiance.... is to say no we didn't talk about that but I'm sure he or she will bring it up when it makes sense. You should trust the other person, not telling someone something is not lying. It's a good prep for interview this post, who knows what the heck they could have in government files or what they feel is note worthy.

Not telling something important is called a lie by omission. That is why the oath in a courtroom is to tell the WHOLE truth. You can be prosecuted for purjury by leaving out something pertinent.

So I just want to make it clear that this lie by omission is a concept formally recognized for centuries by society, and it is only a con-man who makes up this excuse for lying to his fiance. We also understand this is a rationalization is a lie. The truth is that the con-man conceals who he really is because the fiance would reject him if he was honest.

So it is a lie to conceal. It is a lie to tell this rationalization for the lie. And the person doing this can be counted on to lie, lie, lie about far too much to be trusted.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-10-30 12:19:00

It's a lot more grave than getting through an interview. It is the cruelty of pretending to be someone you are not and forcing them to deal with discovering they are married to a con-man.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-10-27 11:13:00

he cancel my interview and visa

My God how horrible for you. He must not have been the one. Despite how awful it is, the problems may have been worse if you married him. I hope that you find the strength to go on. That'w right your child is the most important thing to take care of. It sounds like the fight was an excuse to leave you.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-10-27 15:11:00

Why do Filipinos don't greet each other?

Can't say I notice one way or the other. Some circumstances are more conducive to conversation, like if you are next to each other in line at the register. A smile and a nod usually at a distance. Usually an older guy with a younger gal. Not sure why it works out that way. What the appeal is to younger women.

We don't go to functions. But when we meet others we like to get an introduction. Find out where they are from. Just say hi.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-06-03 21:36:00

Starting a new life

Sorry VisaJourney Forums, I'm trying to get used to replying to the posts so I hope this posts correctly.

Thank you all for the great advice and we are very serious after many months of seeing each other through Skype,phone,email,etc.. I will travel there soon and had a wonder if that would be good or safe for me as a foreighner in a place that USA says should not be traveled. It is Zamboanga, Philippines. She had assured me that I am safe as her Christian community is stron and that no harm would come. I also seen that the major hotels and such were very nice and provide a comfortable place to stay as a visitor. I do believe that I will not be harmed and I will go see her very soon. If any one has a good flights to Zamboanga and hotels please let me know. I have looked up all ther is so I'm aware of all they have to offer. Whats most important is spending time with her and the boys and letting the kids know me as much as my Girl as I don't want to tramatise the kids if and when we marry and they come to USA..

It would be wise to read the history of this area in order to understand the grievances and thereby avoid some big mistakes that could get you killed if you act inappropriately.

Mindanao was Muslim before the Spanish came, and centuries of Spanish rule over the Philippines never subjugated them, except for a few Spanish strongholds. The Lapu-Lapu killed Magellan when he landed to claim the land for Spain and demand tribute from them. Yay, Lapu-Lapu. :thumbs:

Right before the Spanish-American war, Spain was finally acknowledged but in doing so the resources it took broke the back of the Spanish empire. When the US double-crossed General Aguinaldo and seized the Philippines as property instead of independence as promised in 1898, the Moro of Mindanao continued to fight for independence against their new would-be masters. They refused to pay taxes and change their ways for the new empire, and the USA implemented a regime of terrorism, torture and brutal unconscionable massacres of the people. These stories of brutality live on in the minds of many Muslim people on Mindanao, including the Zamboanga region which has deep historical ties to Malaysia and not Spain, the national government, or the USA.

When the Japanese over-ran the Philippines the USA hypocritically promised independence again if Philippines allied itself with America. After defeating the Japanese, numerous strings were attached, like namely occupying numerous military bases and prohibition of producing things that would compete with anything the USA was producing. Filipinos urged the USA to recognize Mindanao's historical independence instead of subjugating them to yet a new national government that was viewed by Moros as a puppet of the USA. But instead they didn't because the Philippines has never been anything more than a tool for the US to exploit to its own ends.

By the 1960's Mindanao was still over 90% muslim and it is important to understand this is not about religion so much as a completely different system of social organization, land ownership, and governance. A Datu presides with a council, and land ownership is not registered with a national office or adjudicated in courts. Rather, it is acknowledged by the Datu and Council, so if claims over land arise it is brought to them for adjudication.

There were rebels all over the Philippines fighting this new national government and one of their primary grievances was land. So the national government came to the New People's Army rebels and others to strike a deal: immigrate to Mindanao, take their land from them with our backing, and leave Luzon and other Northern islands. The Northern Philippines were Catholic, so these immigrants to Mindanao were Christians. The wars which immediately erupted were Christian-Muslim wars, which should be better characterized as immigrant/native landholder wars.

More than 120,000 people have been killed in these wars. The Muslim population was eventually reduced to about 20% of the Mindano population, concentrated in enclaves that finally became the ARMM: Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao. The Moro National Liberation Front (MNLF) was the primary armed resistance responsible for that political settlement. But many were dissatisfied with the settlement, rightly pointing to the lack of real sovereignty over resources and the corrupt system established of handing money and political power from the national government to local leaders. So the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) continued armed resistance. The MILF and the government have recently reached a settlement though, which is going to change the nature of the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao.

Zamboanga is not part of the ARMM, but you have to recognize the Muslim influence and history of the surrounding area in order to conduct yourself in a manner that does not bring on your assassination. We have had idiotic peacocks on this forum that thought they could walk into such a place with an air of superiority and arrogance, showing off in exactly the wrong ways: I'm the rich american come to deflower your virgins, drink, insult your culture and remind you my grandfathers tortured your grandfathers, burned their villages, and seized their lands for Dole Philippines.

The Christian immigrants are of course allied with the USA and the national government because that is who backed them in taking Mindanao land. This history is not taught in the Christian immigrant schools generally because that would mean recognizing the legitimacy of the Muslim land claims. So you have the young generation just thinking Muslims are crazy people with no grievances.

There are some real crazies to worry about though, namely Abu-Sayyef. The US World Trade Center was bombed twice by Abu Sayyef. The first was Ramzi Yousef, with a truck bomb in 1993. The second was his Uncle Shiek Khalid Mohammed, the mastermind of 9/11. The USA doesn't want you to know that when Ramzi Yousef was captured by the Philippine National Police, his uncle escaped to meet with Osama Bin Laden to finish a plot they were already working on with mass airplane attacks called the Bojinka plot. The reason they don't want you to know is that the whole plot was on Ramzi Yousef's computer that was seized in the Philippines. The explosives they were working on caught fire, which brought the fire department and then the police. Yousef was captured but Khalid Mohammed escaped, with the US knowing full well he was intent on hijacking airplanes to attack the USA. When Condoleeza Rice said they had no idea planes would be hijacked, it was a monumental lie.

So it is important you understand this hatred of America by Abu Sayyef is what caused both World Trade Center Bombings. They are active in Zamboanga and would only be too happy to cut your head off and mount it on a pike. They are basically a criminal extortion enterprise, kidnapping for ransom, running "protection" rackets, etc. They blew up a ferry killing over 100 people in 2004, and have blown up other ferries, bridges, hijacked busses, kidnapped tourists - just a lovely group.

Keep a low profile. Stay with your friends and family at all times. Be aware of your surroundings. Respect the culture of the Muslims. Many of them are long past their historical grievances, but many will also look at you as representing centuries of oppression, brutality, and injustice. Generally the way the assassinations have been working in the Philippines is by motorcycle, with a driver racing up and the passenger doing the shooting, then disappearing never to be found. Steve Kindy was assassinated on a Jeepney by a Marawi in 2010 despite being there specifically to help orphans of the Muslim-Christian war. The assailant was also never caught.

In terms of your fiance/girlfriend, it is imperitive that you go there and stay as long as you can in order to really understand who she is. I lived for several months on the edge of the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao and built a house there. The bridge closest to us was blown up, the grocery store we shopped at blown up, hand grenade thrown into a crowd of the busiest intersection in the city, just a very long list of violence and it is the same city Steve Kindy was assassinated in. (Iligan). But in living there with her family for months I knew everything about her. We didn't meet on the internet. I had been all over the Philippines many times before meeting her there and was immune to all the girls throwing themselves at me by the time we met. You, on the other hand, are going to see some stunning youngsters trying to unseat your current girlfriend. Zamboanga City was a Spanish port and seat of colonial government historically. The mixture of Spanish/Filipino blood produces some of the most spectacularly beautiful girls on the planet, so you are going to be the hot commoddity in the capital of babe city.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-09 15:11:00

Number one question asked here ?

Q: "I'm the same age as my spouse - is that a red flag?"

A: The Embassy almost never sees such a thing but just bring enough proof to show that your relationship is genuine, and you'll be OK.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-08 19:42:00

Philippine debt

Could be right. I do remember that case from Locked Up Abroad. That was not too far away from the details in this case.

ETA: My wife agrees that is not estafa.

That sounds a lot closer to the truth, even if it wasn't the same case. But the timing looks right too. So this blogger's "research" means reading an article and not remembering the name, country, or the charges:

naughty boy

Edited by rlogan, 11 November 2012 - 05:58 PM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-11-11 17:56:00