ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Africa: Sub-SaharanIs a one-way plane ticket required? Expensive!

Try looking at ( calling ) Delta and Eremites directly. Delta usually comes up with terrible prices online because the scammers tend to want tickets as proof they are going to show up for their victims. The make the prices look really bad online but if you call you will get something reasonable ( and Delta flys direct Lagos to Atlanta ) Vayamia is the best site to check out many at once.


Thank you all - relieved to know we can buy a round trip, who on earth would be a one way, and it seems like it should be cheaper, how odd. LOL. Thanks also for the tips on contacting Delta and Emirites.

Appreciate it!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-02-28 17:59:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIs a one-way plane ticket required? Expensive!
Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if anyone knows if your spouse is required to buy a one-way ticket with their new visa to come to the U.S. for the first time. We have not been given our visa but like from where I live it's about $4000 for a one way ticket, that's double the cost of a round trip.

Do you know if there is anything in the "rules" that says you have to buy a one way ticket for a spouse?

Thanks.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-02-28 04:40:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIncluding Affadavits of Marriage in I-130 Petition

Thanks so much, this really helps!


I'm glad, I know it's nervewrecking getting everything together and properly. And congrats again on your upcoming marriage, though I know it's bittersweet - as you would have loved to bring him home first. Let me know if there is anything else I can help with. Take Care, Brandy
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-04-30 17:10:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIncluding Affadavits of Marriage in I-130 Petition
Hi Debby,

I do believe there are samples of affidavit of supports here somewhere, but I don't have time to look, so I will just tell you how we laid out our letters of support. And I wrote one and so did my husband, anyone who was witness to the events can and it should include the following: hope this helps, Brandy

[HEADER: Affidavit of Support; Spousal Affidavit, etc.]

[Next swear you are telling the truth, here are 2 examples below of that style]

Example #1: BEFORE ME, the undersigned authority, personally appeared ______, who being by me duly sworn, deposed as follows: My name is _____. I am of sound mind, over the age of eighteen, competent to make this affidavit, and have personal knowledge of the facts herein stated.

Example #2: In application for a Visa for the United States of America Evidence in support of a bona fide marriage between myself, _____ , Petitioner, and my husband _____, Beneficiary.
AFFIRMATION OF:____

[Include your mailing address and your contact information]

[Next person writing affidavit must state their name and relationship to the petitioner, you, and beneficiary, your husband]

[In the center should be any and all information the person writing the affidavit can state, facts they knew about the beginning, middle, and eventual marriage of you and your husband. For example, they remember when you met because, or they knew it was serious relationship when, people who may be able to attest to the fact that you had a relationship and they should give examples; like for my affidavit I put all the details I put about 3 pages of details I remember to outline the storyline so to speak, of our relationship. Perhaps they saw you off at the airport, or met you in W. Africa, etc.]

[End the affidavit notorzed, I will put two examples]

For example #1:
Thank You!
_________________________

Sworn before me this _______ day of _______, 2008


Example #2:

FURTHER AFFIANT SAYETH NOT.

Dated: _______________, 2010
SUBSCRIBED AND SWORN TO BEFORE ME on this _____ day of _______________, 2010.



Notary Public in and for
the State of _____
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-04-30 02:49:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanApproved!
How Wonderful!!! Congratulations! :dance:
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-04-28 21:57:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMedical Exam Results - when does it expire?

The medical is good for one year. Also, if Im not mistaken I think that you have to show that you have a interview date at Komorros before they will let you do the medical.


Hi Naijabound,

Thanks for the info! I thought it was a year too, but your point is a good one - I think I will email the consulate.

Thanks again,
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-05-14 17:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMedical Exam Results - when does it expire?
Hi Everyone,

Does anyone know where to find information about how long a medical exam results last before expiring, for a Lagos Consulate interview?

Simply put we are submitting all paperwork to NVC now, including the police certificate. This involves a couple days of traveling and expenses, because of this I'd love to see him get the medical exam out of the way while he's in the city. We do not have an interview date but I was told once we have the police certificate it could be as little as 2 weeks before we receive notice from NVC and receive our interview letter/date.

Anyone have recent experience or know who to call or what to look at?

Thanks!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-05-13 06:32:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanReaffirm case
Hi ghanagal,

I believe it depends on what type of visa you were approved for, K-1/IR1 etc. I know me and my hubby are reaffirmed, and we are going to have an IR1, and everything seems to indicate that we will have another interview. But in your case (if I remember right) you applied for an I-130, and interviewed for an immigrant visa. It's worth looking into whether or not you have to interview, those who don't I believe are immigrant visa denials that are returned.

I also combed this site for info on what you're facing and I saw a post that said the following: "
Yes, do call, write and email the DOS. Though the Embassy or CO would be the one to tell you what their procedure, i.e., 2nd interview or no 2nd interview, on your particular case will be. Not the DOS. Though it 'may' give your case some attention, which is always a good thing in my opinion, the most they will do is check the status on your case and tell you what you probably already know.

Also, if the CO returned your case, he/she had a reason, at least in 'their' mind, so a 2nd interview wouldn't be out of the picture if they wanted to clear up any doubts they may have had in the first place, so my advice is to be ready for it just in case. Even if you are not required a 2nd interview, wouldn't it be wiser to be prepared? This way, you can avoid more delays than necessary if this were to happen."

So I think if you know what type of visa you will be reaffirmed for, email or call the embassy to find out their procedure I suppose. Perhaps visit Ghana's website? http://ghana.usembassy.gov/visas.html

I hope you get some more helpful info on this! But one of the other members were right, if you have another interview - you will do well, I am certain! ~
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 23:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNeed help on organizing information for interview

I have folders with seperate information (in what seems like a logical order and seperation)- so would it be okay to use the binder clips (i think is what you are talking about!) at the top with no staples? I just feel things should be attached somehow!

Did you double side papers? Like I-134, DS-156 and so on....

Thanks!


Hi there midge.mij,

I think you are going to be so organized! Your question about binder clips, great, but I would definately say no staples. I was trying to think about double side papers you are using (because I didn't use the same pages)... I would use the clips again, because then the papers can be looked at easily, one after another. I did not double side papers, because they would have to turn it around. It sounds funny but like Ghanagal said - it's like they don't want to fuss or something...lol.

Perhaps you're worried about certain papers that belong together being separated, am I right? I would use paper clips, no permanent holes in the original paper - sounds good to me.

Also like someone else said here, you want your SO to find the papers with ease, and the interviewer will not likely ask for more than one different paper at a time. All your ideas sound great!

I had to chuckle, I would defintely want my original photos back too!! One person indicated you could copy all your photos on color paper and not take in the originals. I sent originals and didn't get them back, so yes, definitely bring them along but unless they ASK for the originals I wouldn't hand them over.

Please, if anyone here on the site knows if using the non-original photos please let her know! I know our lawyer didn't use originals, but I will bring those just in case for our next interview.

Hope this is helpful. :D
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-04 02:47:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNeed help on organizing information for interview

Can any one who recently interviewed let us know if you used staples or paperclips and if it was an issue! Thanks!!!!


Hi,

I would definitely suggest no stamples, because when you hand them certain papers, even if they are papers that should be grouped together it is easier to thumb through them when they are not stuck together. I noticed our lawyer would send all loose papers (with tabs identifying), with a clip holding it all together, it's very easy to open but stays together.

There is a black/steel clip that fastens at the top of your pages (can hold a lot! or a little depending on the size). You usually fasten it at the top center, they can easily look through all pages but also open and take one out easy if they want to. I can't think of the name, you can find them in any office area store.

I also was trying to find a way for my hubby to have access to all the papers in a good order. Like I am wondering if anyone knows the order in which they ask for papers??? Tabs, simplicity, and you being able to find what you're looking for, I think that is most important.

I thought about creating separate binders, one for phone evidence, one binder for photos, one binder for affidavit of support, and one single folder for important docs like marriage certficate/birth certificate/and the forms you fill they might need. So I guess i would not use staples, but I cannot imagine paper clips are bad, if it works for you!

Does anyone else have a good suggestion?? I hope that helps.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-03 04:18:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFinally had email from Accra Embassy!

So today I finally received a reply to the email I sent Accra more than a month ago requesting them to email me my fiance's appointment letter. My fiance picked up his packet on May 12, so it's all after the fact. The email they sent me states that he picked up his packet on the 12th and that their records show that his interview is scheduled for NOVEMBER 2ND. That's weird, because the date he was issued with his packet is NOVEMBER 1ST!

So I guess we will be showing up both days, just in case.


Congratulations! I don't know what's the deal with Accra Consulate, it seems there is a line of people strung out over a year, this gives great hope to those Ghana couples waiting far too long for some contact. Thanks for the great news!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-04 15:42:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLong Distance

I think its time I share this with you. Goes out to all those who are just like me and are waiting for their partners to be with them. LETS CALM DOWN WITH THIS PIECE..

Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-19 21:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMiss my family/Case still at NVC any thoughts?

I can totally understand your frustration. I have cried, been sad, gotten upset, yelled everything, but it does not change the process or speed things up or make things any better. I believe in my heart me and husband will be together again very soon. Travelling back to Nigeria was not an option for me right now, but if I could I would. Take heart in know that your relationship like many others on this wonderful forum is dianamic, beautiful and special....you will be together again soon! Take care, God bless and be well


Thanks AzuomaObidiya, you are a sweetheart.. I'm sorry you don't have even the option to go see your husband, I had some years like that and I feel so appreciative that the circumstances are such that I could save and go see my husband.. It just so reinforces that we all have to look at what we DO have to keep that positive energy and keep going along. Thanks for sharing your stress, sadness, tears, anger, etc., I was able to stay positive so long and I could see myself lately sinking and need to adjust myself and remember we're so close, one day gone is another day closer to seeing my luv. TY for the encouragement.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-22 04:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMiss my family/Case still at NVC any thoughts?

Afrilaskan,

I can appreciate your frustration. This is such a stressful and tedious journey. Thank goodness for this community of support.

I'm not exactly sure what the best thing to do here. I'm not sure, but did you refile the I-130 when you filed again or was this the original?


Hi thanks for your support Cheyemo! We did not refile our I-130, but rather had it reaffirmed at the same time as the I-129 (which expired). So the original petition is there, from 2007. Early I spoke to the director at my attorney's office, they felt that people make errors on the paperwork so often that at the interview we can explain any errors. I hope she is right, she said short of refiling a new I-130, she felt that our DS-230 is the form they will look at (and that of course has the info. correctly written). I thought that NVC will not approve our case onward if they see some serious discrepancy, am I right? I am sure many peoples details change or were written wrong, right?

hmpph... perhaps I should call the u.s. consulate we interview at?
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-21 13:19:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMiss my family/Case still at NVC any thoughts?
Hello Everyone,

This last two months have been so long. I miss my African family, life is going on and I am hold.. I am waiting to see my husband so when I do go, I can stay a long time AND be there for my husbands interview. My husband has had tough times and I am longing to be with him. We were trying to find a way for me to stay there even two or three months.

I'm tired. I just want to leave now but I have to wait. My sweetest grandma passed away end of April, I really thought that 5 years ago she would meet my love. I seem stuck, just stuck, physically and emotionally. My grandpa has been in assisted living, he's been dieing for some time - he had the same work my husband does, and he has dementia severe so I know he won't be meeting my husband - in this life. I don't believe this is the end of life, but for over a year it's been completely draining, running in every direction to the point of no time for myself to rest but now I have time some time to rest and I miss him so much.

That is just the American side of the family, I was unable to be there with my husband through his tough times too. This last year just been stretched beyond stretched and I miss him. I know my husband will be home eventually or perhaps some measure of stability will come where he lives so I can stay there longer, all I know is my heart is sick missing him. I feel positive about him eventually having his interview. So now the wait time at NVC also feels even longer I suppose.

Our case is still at NVC. I do have a question that relates to that. Our original petition was approved in 2007. Our DS-230 has all the updated information of course, but our old I-130 has some incorrect information that I cannot believe I did not see. There are two major errors, my mom's birthplace, and the address we used for mailing is written as a physical address. My husband traveled a lot for work sometimes, and he did not qualify as a resident to that mailing address, it needs correction as it is on the old I-130 petition and in his biographic data on the G-325.

If all this information is correct on the DS-230 form, will we be ok? If not, I am wondering who to contact. I thought about contacting the embassy direct. I don't want any preventable complications on our interview day. Once NVC has actually "received" this last package we sent, which arrived almost 4 weeks ago, our case should be forwarded to the consulate.

Just waiting... (tick tock tick tock)
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-20 20:03:00
Africa: Sub-Saharanupcoming interviews in Lagos consulate

Hi Everyone,

I have been looking at timelines for my fellow Nigerians and it seems no one who got approved in the past 1-2 months have an interview date yet. Is this normal or are people not updating their timelines? I just got my NOA2 this past Friday so my fiancee and I were trying to figure out how long before he can get an interview date for his K-1 visa. I really appreciate all your inputs.


According to everyone's timeline we would have had our interview by now. We paid our AOS fees back in March but our case is still at NVC.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-20 19:38:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPolice Certificate for Benin, available in Lagos, Nigeria?

When we were trying to get a police clearance from Vietnam, we ran into the same walls. What I ended up doing was writing a letter detailing all the steps we took to get the clearance, to no avail. It seemed to suffice since NVC closed our case. I'm not sure if the consulate in Lagos will give us problems, but we'll see. It was impossible to get the clearance with hubby being back in Lagos!



Thanks for sharing! I thought I was going crazy, no one seems to know where to get a required document (made me stunned). To hear you have experienced the same thing is a relief, I have all the emails I have sent out and I can combine it into a complete email and forward it to NVC, if we cannot indeed get this paper for them.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-23 18:04:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPolice Certificate for Benin, available in Lagos, Nigeria?

Have you tried asking the Benin Embassy in DC? And is there a Benin Embassy in Lagos?



I finally talked to someone at the Benin Embassy in DC and emailed them the particulars since they couldn't understand me too well. I asked them if there was a Benin Embassy in Lagos, they said no - just Abuja now. I really hope this becomes fruitful! I feel like I should have glued my phone to my ear for a week straight. My head is buzzing from the constant chatter.

Thanks very much!!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-23 18:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPolice Certificate for Benin, available in Lagos, Nigeria?
Hi,

I wondered has anyone here had to get a police certificate for a country (specifically Benin Republic) that the beneficiary does not live? I have called NVC, the Department of State, the consular officer of Benin, the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria, the Embassy of Nigeria in D.C., and I cannot find a person who can tell me where or who to go to for an police certificate for Cotonou, Benin.

When the U.S. Embassy in Cotonou, Benin Republic could not tell me where to get a police certificate (the individual I spoke with said they have seen the certificates but not knowing how they are obtained there), so I keep running into walls.

Anyone have experience with this? The instructions for a police certificate are vague to say the least.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-23 03:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIs this an African thing?
When reading your post, yes - I do believe part of this is a cultural or communication thing. It brings up a few questions to me such as how he grew up, perhaps the type of communication from his culture is not so detailed or what is important to us here and not as valued and so less likely to stick in his mind. Also I don't know if this is offensive to say, but is it possible his mom drank alcohol during pregnancy?

Also I thought when reading this that perhaps though he speaks good English there is information he's missing due to the bad telephone connection or hearing loss or simply not understanding your accent in some ways. I know my hubby didn't always understand my English but he THOUGHT he did and that led to some confusion that had to be sorted out regularly because I never thought to ask him to repeat what I said.

I can think of only one piece of advice at the interview, perhaps he can repeat the question asked before answering it. This will ensure that he knows and understands the question and also give his mind a moment to focus on the question [i.e. the ADD or whatever he has going on there]

I believe he's intelligent as you said, so I can tell you feel badly writing this post but I wouldn't feel too badly, this description qualifies for a large percentage of non-foreign male spouses - or so some of my friends joke! I also related to the post because my U.S. family are not about dates and ages and such. I actually got so many dates/ages wrong on the first petition that I was embarrassed. I am born in the U.S. but my memory is so bad that it's not funny, and I am young!

I can see how this is all frustrating, because most of all it sounds like you don't feel heard and you're scared to death that your SO is going to "flunk" the interview. I too was worried about the same thing, my hubby has speech impediment that affects how he thinks and he too wasn't always so observant; I wish I had some helpful advice for that, though I'm sure he recognizes the importance of his memory for this particular day. I guess practicing and practicing until he remembers those dates. My own family forgets my birthdate, not out of lack of kindness, some people are just not oriented to think about dates. LOL

As to him being naive, it's certainly possible - why not, not sure where your SO grew up but he may not have been exposed to a variety of things we do. I have seen it in my hubby because his social group was fairly isolated and good individuals.

All together I have seen a lot of people referring to their SO's with similar traits, so it's definitely possibly a part of the area/culture they were around.

Sorry I don't have any helpful advice, would love to hear what others say. Hang in there! He's probably listening and compartmentalizing. :blink:
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-04-30 17:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Next
Boaz,

I'm happy to see all the support for you here. This is a support site for those who go through the visa journey, sometimes that includes these sad events, you sound like you are endeavoring to see the positive through this and that clearly will be your strength. It is devestating for you, but I believe from reading your posts that you will not become bitter and you will use this to find the best life path for you. That is not easy, taking the day at a time, my heart goes out to you at this devestating time.

~ God is close to those broken and crushed in spirit ~

Wishing you the needed support and calm to recover and have peace.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-06-19 21:33:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanInterview Date

Wife has received interview date at US Emabassy in Nairobi, Kenya for Oct. 5th! Am grateful and happy to finally have reached! Thank you all for the confidence you've provided that the time wold come soon!


Very exciting! Congratulations!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-09-08 14:25:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCase reaffirmed ?

So my case was recently reaffirmed and today I get this letter from the NVC
Dear ....

The National Visa Center has been informed that the US Citizenship and Immigration Services reaffirmed this petition. As the NVC had previously completed the processing of this case, the file will be forwarded to the US Embassy/ Consulate General listed below. Accra Ghana

Ok please help me I am confused, I just flew right through the NVC without sending in any paperwork this time it appears my case is going straight back to the embassy. This is wierd!!! So anyone had this before? How long is the wait for reaffirmed petitions to get an interview, I mean it is Ghana? How will they notify me of the interview?

Please any guidence I am confused as I don't know what to think! Nigerianbust I will be awaiting your reply!:)


I would be confused too ghanagal, however the letter says that it previously processed the case, meaning the paperwork you gave them for the previous interview is still up to date. I would however recommend calling NVC, speaking to a supervisor and letting them know what happened and the letter you received. When did they receive your last tax return, W2's, etc.? I am wondering if you do go to the interview if you will need to be bringing more up to date information (i.e. latest tax returns, etc.) I also would ask how you will find out about an interview, that you knew from previous processing that you were given that date by NVC.

I assume that NVC or the Embassy would email you, but I know NVC contacted us with an interview date in the same letter as the one that says your case is going to the Embassy. I do wonder if reaffirmed petitions are on the top of the list for interviews based on some other posts, but I really don't know.

Hope this helps. I would call a supervisor at NVC. keep us posted. I hope someone else has more information for you!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-09-13 23:53:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLagos IR-1 Visa granted after 3.5 years!!

I am more than happy to see this happening to you and your husband,congratulations.I am so excited about this and I am very glad too.I have been looking out here to read the goodnews from you guys..I thank the good Lord who made this happen.CONGRATULATIONS once again..


Wow! I'm overwhelmed by the congratulations, NLove, benny o, forchika, Zee Bee, and much more! Thank you for your congratulations. We are enjoying our togetherness, just the small things mean so much now. We're eating dinner together, taking a walk, all the normal daily life things. Our family and friends have embraced us and.. all of that love has really been a blessing too. Every day I see his face and I feel joy. I wish I had more time to write, but I wanted to thank all for the congratulations before time kept passing. ~ Thank you all ~
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-09-15 15:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLagos IR-1 Visa granted after 3.5 years!!

I am so happy for you and your husband! I wish for both of you all the happiness in the world....you guys really exemplify the meaning of faith and perseverance.
I want to thank you also, for being a source of encouragement to others even when you yourself were going through the worst immigration nightmare.
Again, congratulations to you and your husband...your visa journey is a source of strength and inspiration to many people on VJ.


Thank you DebbyNSeyi, I know we will hear good news from you soon too! I'm glad if I can be of any encouragement. I didn't get the strength from myself, I have a lot of people and God to thank for getting us through. Many, MANY people on visa journey helped me over the past couple of years by educating me and encouraging me when there were seemingly endless roadblocks. Thank you to all of them for they know who they were, and there are too many to count!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-09-08 14:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLagos IR-1 Visa granted after 3.5 years!!

It was a battle worth fighting for. I hope you and your husband enjoy your life together. Congratulations!!!!
Nwanyioma


Hi Nwanyioma, C.D., and patient2010: Thanks for your congratulations! it was worth fighting for, I am so relieved and calm but I wished I had for the last 3 or 4 years gone into counseling to cope with all the stress prior to this because I realize looking back just how stressed I have been, and you don't have to strong arm it, you should take care of yourself through this journey. My husbands warm love, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it right now. Thank you for all your congratulations!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2010-09-06 18:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanKeeping Love & Romance Alive during long Separations
'WhidbeyGirl', I truly empathize with you, I know for me finding the money to hear my baby's voice is a struggle too. Sounds like you have many concerns, your children and basic necessities. Something I like to do, awhile back I asked my husband if we could send each other handwritten letters once a week or once monthly. It's this little treat and isn't costly and is romantic. Although many men arn't letter writers, well some women too.

I wonder if you've been able to petition for your husband to come yet. It can be so confusing. I didn't have a lawyer at the time and it took me a confusing bunch of time to figure out what to do. Some people do wait years, but there are some who wait only months. I'm hoping for you a less long wait. Hang in there! ~TY
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-30 12:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanKeeping Love & Romance Alive during long Separations
QUOTE (Omoba @ Dec 29 2008, 08:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The stress of the denial definitely made us both crazy. But we regrouped and focused on what can be done. Oh yes the phone card companies love us........ching ching. Network failure happens and he even lost one phone into the pit latrine ohmy.gif
he usually carries 2 phones with 2 different networks in case one is out so we can connect.


lol...cha ching. I hear ya there sister! Thanks for telling me you both went crazy after the interview and then regrouped, I feel we've regrouped, but we both definately were in shock and pain. I'm so glad I've been able to talk to you today!

We have yet to experience the phone lost in the latrine, but my husband was pick pocketed once on a bus while he was asleep and another time lost his phone out of a hole inside his jeans - something I found really amusing together because that hole is still not repaired! lol... And my hubby has multple phones too.

I've actually gotten used to the network, in the beginning about 4 years ago, I had no idea and I thought the sky was falling when I couldn't get through.

Hope you're having a good day! rose.gif
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 14:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanKeeping Love & Romance Alive during long Separations
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I do the same things you do, love the picture album/scrapping and creating an nice home to enjoy. You tell him about shoveling snow? I take it you're in a cooler place then, I too live in the cold with the snow and wonder how my Nigerian husband will feel in the cool weather...it's the first thing people ask.

I liked your thought on living mindfully. You are a massage therapist then, I imagine your SO would like that. I have friends who are massage therapists, it is a very emotional, for lack of a better word - thing. I can see how that and living mindfully are connected.

I agree that the romance evolves into a intimacy that is more fullfilling. Sometimes I just want more then anything to go on a date with my husband! lol... It sounds like you are very attune to each other. It's good that you worry about hurting one another. I hate the long distance fight, me and my husband are both mostly mild tempered but with the denial it just brought out the stress in us. Sometimes spending all night talking over something that upset us and while that's reality of a relationship - I once had this experience where the network went down after a fight and then it took two days to get ahold of him and I didn't know it was the network or something worse happened. Do you guys ever have fights due to the immigration stuff?

heart.gif Love is the elixer of life. Love is life.


Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 12:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanKeeping Love & Romance Alive during long Separations
I would love to dedicate this thread to keeping ones joy and peace despite stress. After all relationships are about joy and love, it's easy to lose site of what brought you together and whittle it down to focusing on the visa.

What ways do you keep your romance or love alive?
What do you do each day to live mindfully and enjoy the good things?
What do you prepare in your life to enjoy once you are with your mate?
What is your favorite romantic thing to do?

I have enjoyed learning to look for and cook things my Husband loves in his culture. When I miss him I create some sort of artistic expression of my love [i.e. cards, silly poems, you know that teeny bopper stuff that's just fun] I'm not too artistic but it's cathartic. Also focusing on another person - someone else who has a struggle in their life and looking for a way to lift them up and make them happy. Taking a peaceful walk. Taking a bath, lighting candles, creating a space that is peaceful each day...







Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 10:58:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan~ waiting ~
Hi Kelly - I can feel your hurt! If you need a lawyer and cannot afford it - I don't know anything about this much because my lawyer isn't costly and so I was able to just pay them. But I have heard of non profit organizations that help one I most of is : http://www.americanfamiliesunited.org , I don't know what they do exactly. I am not sure what's involved with this either but I've heard of various relgious organizations that help with costs of immigrants. I also noticed in the news people who are working hard to ask Obama for help for families separated by immigration.

Hang in there!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 12:06:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan~ waiting ~
Congratulations I'm so happy you get to go visit your SO [what does that stand for?? I read it all over here] ! How do you visit and leave again? I've not touched or seen my husband in 2 years and 2009 I'm finally able to go see him. How do you cope separating again and again? I really believe something will happen to shorten this year your facing, I've seen it happen back and forth in my own case - that's the frustration the constant back and forth back and forth for me. We're awaiting info on our review, I wonder how long they review it for. Then the approved I-130, I looked at your links. I just wonder what they'll put him through in another interview. I'm so proud of him, even though it was so hard what he went through there he always reacts calmly and with graciousness.

So what is the first thing you can't wait to do with your fiance? I thought you had married but I think I didn't look carefully enough before. I had posted on another post about how your planning the wedding energy has turned into a zap out. I 'hear hear hear' you there. When he's here you'll be filled with lots of energy I'm certain!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 11:53:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan~ waiting ~
Oh my gosh Omoba, I really can imagine what you've been going through and I wonder if you sleep alright - like me I feel I'm puzzle solving all night and tossing and turning. I have seen my husband with malaria as well. I'm so sorry about the tragedies your family has experienced, since you began back in 05 - you've really had to bear much. You will appreciate togetherness more then most people. You will value things that others don't see. This will give you greater happiness I think, because people really don't realize what makes them happy anymore in a relationship - they lose site of what's important. Thanks for sharing.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 11:48:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan~ waiting ~
Wow Sylvia, I really can feel the pain in your post. You expressed so many feelings I too have. How can someone hold your life and future in their hands, one person after just a few minutes gather enough information to impact your life for years! I too agree that there is an arrogance about this country. I really connected to your post. When Omoba talked about losing interest in planning a wedding - bingo there. We had family up different states awaiting the welcome home party/US wedding. Now those fun things to plan just seem useless and all the energy was zapped into how do we solve this problem of being together. Hang in there and thanks for your post!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 11:42:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan~ waiting ~
Hey there Omoba I'm in the right thread now I think. smile.gif So you were going to mention what Sierra Lione [sp?] was like. I'm at work so I may pop out quite a lot today but your story is something else. Your husband looks kind in your pics and you look happy. It sounds like you too are facing all the financial pressures of immigration. The cost of getting a visit in is huge, the phone costs are huge, the legal/immigration fees are huge.

You know I was really thinking of your 18-24 month separation, I cannot imagine how you felt when you heard those words. When we were denied our visa I had someone say to me miracles can still happen and you never know how God will act. I proceeded to explain why it was going to take forever because there was this step and that step...Yet...

As the adage goes the one constant is change. One day may seem hopeless and the next something completely alters the course you've been on. You are standing by the person you love, love is very powerful. Love finds a way. ~ cheers ~
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 11:09:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan~ waiting ~
This is a wonderful thread because I truly believe now that having support through this process is important, especially with those sharing the common struggle.

I believe one of the hardest things involved in being separated is going through difficult experiences or seeing your love one suffer as a result of the separation. In the past year alone I saw my Husband lose a family member to death, experience health distresses and a sibling marry. All of these things were things you don't want to go alone through.

One of the worst is seeing others get married and just live together like it should be. When my husband's sibling got married, he helped with everything, then fell into a sadness and over the phone or internet there is so little you can feel you can do, sometimes it's hard to get the one you love to open up but still those times are a reminder that you're apart.

One of the positive things of this though I believe is that when you experience hardship, you work through it together emotionally. You have one of the most important parts of marriage well practiced - communication. You learn so much about each other and have to depend on one another more then ever before. Also for me I'm looking and thinking for ways to keep our love enjoyable and help him to make it through, so it helps to be less selfish and more giving I think.

It's also painful when you're down to your last dime and all you want to do is hear their voice...if you can't touch them. But no matter how you do it it costs a lot to call and it's an endless pit there I think. There are times when it's a bad day and the network is down. The NETWORK, that's definately got it's use in anger management I think especially during the rainy season...lol.

I found myself eating less and less, spending all my extra dimes on calling but when you don't have it you don't and it's hard to wait through that period I think.


Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2008-12-29 10:41:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanEvidence Question

Hi WhidbeyGirl - Ok, here are my non-experienced non-legal opinions and I hope they're helpful to you.

1. If one thing I've learned in the last two years of our process is that you always want things accurate and on the table - otherwise they will appear like you're trying to lie. If you cannot reset the date on the photos, I would connect at least a page explaining the misprinted dates, not just send them. You want all the dates to match on the approved petition. They may think you're trying to convince them you've been together longer then you have. So yes, I would be sure when you send the pics, and you definately want them sent that you have some way of clearly marking the correct date. Like if you attach a copy of your marriage certficate you can match the dates and make note of a misprinted date on your camera. Or maybe a camera store can tell you why it printed wrong...because I don't know anything about that! lol...

2. Your second question talks about affidavits that have personal knowledge of your marriage. I definately think affidavits are important, however it doesn't have to be your family and I think although I could be wrong, it can be more broad - the family or friends didn't have to be there on the wedding day. The affidavits can be anyone who witnessed your marriage ceremony too not just your family or his, anyone who was there I think. Also if anyone friends or otherwise knew about your relationship and the events leading up to your marriage/wedding - any details that anyone knows is good to mark in an affidavit I think. So those affidavits - like if you told your family you were going, they would maybe know preparations you made or your feelings or something. Some people don't have families, so friends too count or people at work - anyone who knows you that knows you had this relationship and entered into a valid marriage relationship.

Hope that is helpful! Have fun putting together those pics...happy memories I'm sure. Cheers!

Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2009-01-04 09:08:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHelp!!
Wow - this is terrible. You must be feeling the stress. Me and my Husband had our share of problems... (below is contact info.) Our NVC package that was supposed to be sent us from Lagos with our letter never arrived was never found...I suggest keeping these emails you send them as receipt of notice, but I do hope they contact you back. If the package never shows, I would ask for it to be picked up with identification by your Des at the Consulate after providing information that NVC did forward your information and you're due for your package and visa interview date. good.gif You'll be a-ok!

Here's the addresses and phone numbers from http//:travel.state.gov

The U.S. Consulate General is located at 2 Walter Carrington Crescent, Victoria Island, Lagos. American citizens can call [234] (1) 261-1215 during office hours (7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.). For after-hours emergencies, call [234] (1) 261-1414, 261-0050, 261-0078, 261-0139, or 261-6477. The e-mail address for the Consular Section in Lagos is Lagoscons2@state.gov.
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2009-01-27 15:35:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHotels or Rentals in and around Lagos - ideas?
Thanks so much!! I hope your journey is going well, I've noticed your plans and such.. Cheers!
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2009-02-10 18:00:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHotels or Rentals in and around Lagos - ideas?
Hi All,

Am looking for information on an inexpensive and yet safe hotel, flat, or apartment, in and around Lagos. Where do you suggest looking? The Sheraton was $400 a night, that seems outrageous! Any info would be most appreciated!

Thanks unsure.gif
Afrilaskan QueenFemaleNigeria2009-02-10 08:32:00