ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North Africasecond visit wise.. or keep new position at work?
While I went to Morocco twice, I only had one "documented" visit with pictures and everything of us together. We are close in age, same religious beliefs, etc, this is my 2nd marriage, and I already had a child from that marriage. That single visit the consulate evaluated was adequate for my then fiancé's visa approval. Is there that big of a difference between a marriage visa and a fiancé visa in a case with seemingly not a whole lot in the way of red flags for Casablanca like the OP?
Stress over money, jobs, etc is huge amongst a lot of MENA couples, post arrival in the US. I would not discount that.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-26 21:03:00
Middle East and North Africasecond visit wise.. or keep new position at work?
For some people with only a single visit, it's a big red flag. For plenty of others, it's not a big deal. How would this factor into possible red flags you have?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-26 08:14:00
Middle East and North AfricaSex lives of married Egyptians laid bare - news article
:thumbs: :thumbs:
An excellent summation.

Actually, Mormon missionaries follow a strict schedule. They wake up at 6:30 am, study for an hour and 1/2, have breakfast and do not leave the house until 8am at the earliest. They would not, under any circumstances, have knocked on your door at 6am. But I guess it makes for a better story though if those pesky Mormons wake you up before dawn... :innocent:

I do think that many religions struggle with how to approach teaching about sexuality. And as I'm sure you understand, some religions, including Islam (and those pesky Mormons), consider sex something that should be enjoyed only inside a marriage. And the real blame lies with the individual. If men and women who were abstinate prior to marriage choose not to educate themselves about sex once inside their marriage - that is not the fault of the religion...its the fault of the individual. The truly "open minded" or "progressive" people are confident enough in their own beliefs that they don't have to mock or feel frustrated with the views of others. True "progressives" accept the views and choices of all people...including those "archaic" religious views that teach abstinence before marriage...pesky as it may seem. :innocent:


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-05-23 00:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaSex lives of married Egyptians laid bare - news article
i just don't answer my door when i'm alone at home, unless i know who it is. after about a minute, anyone i don't want to answer the door for just goes away. whether they want to sell me a security system, landscaping services or salvation. i had no idea things could be so...complicated.
out of all the people i know who don't share my religious beliefs, or don't have any religious beliefs at all, i don't think i know any that would answer their front doors topless, or in towels. there are clearly other factors involved.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-05-22 13:46:00
Middle East and North AfricaSex lives of married Egyptians laid bare - news article

Yessss! So do you think your MO contribution is sort of beginning to run with the torch or would you say you've taken the little torch and now lit the big one so the games can begin?

Just a lil sprint.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-05-21 22:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaSex lives of married Egyptians laid bare - news article
My MO contribution in that case would be that I'm glad I'm married to somebody who stays fully clothed in all possible public appearances. And i think that is hott with two t's.

I think it could be the new Hot Arab thread combined with the ####### sex thread and the vibrator thread-- but now we need the MO part to complete the awesomeness.


LOL


There was an article a few years ago about this in relation to Westerners/American male views about sexuality.


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-05-21 22:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaFrontloading for Morocco
I sent about four pictures originally, phone records, and a couple cards, emails and letters. The additional pictures, letters, and instant messages my husband brought to his interview were looked at. I don't know how well they were scrutinized or anything, but they definitely were not ignored.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-29 23:41:00
Middle East and North AfricaPA boy taken in Egypt
The story about the kids in Tunisia has been told for years now, yet it's always 5 years that they've been gone.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-04 12:43:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed help, I am very worried...

They are super cute, no?

Yo, this thread is only 7 pages in. That's nothing. Don't count out an octopus appearance just yet.
And yes, they're adorable. Ayah has a big beanie baby octopus that we both adore.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-03 20:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed help, I am very worried...
There has to a prize for working in culottes in the conversation. Sticking it to the patriarchy in Egypt through culottes and wedding day smooches. (I hope the culottes were not part of the wedding day wardrobe!)

I'm just playing Tamara :)

Everytime someone tries to say what a culture "norm" is for Egypt and I look back on our situation.... I guess we broke all the rules! We held hands in public, we kissed on our wedding day in front of family, i wore skirts, shorts to the knees, coulottes, tshirts, wore sleeveless shirt to swim in over my bathing suit with short shorts, looked at male relatives and friends in their eyes without being thought of in a wrong way, slept in the same house as my husband before we were married (just slept in the room with his sister & mom) while he slept on the living room mattress, introduced to his family fairly quickly via webcam & phone, was known as a christian from the get go, was myself and didnt act like i was someone else trying to step on eggshells around him & his family. Oh well.... screw whatever the norm is. I love my life...


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-03 01:21:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed help, I am very worried...

Yes! Opening ceremonies have commenced. First event: "I sayeth ctrl+v!" (aka copy and paste the longest and most esoteric evidence for your point possible!)


<3

Lol @ how cerebral you will steer this!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-03 00:40:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed help, I am very worried...

That thar is a gold medal winner!

My victory lap costume is off the hook, I promise! More glitter and sequins than a New Year's Eve party thrown by Elton John ;)

Muslimy Muslimness FTW!!

Woot woot!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-03 00:38:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed help, I am very worried...

Can I be the conductor for the music in this Muslim Olympics? Or no?

Yes, but I demand my intro be set to Black Betty, "if'n you please".
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-03 00:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed help, I am very worried...
Trust, this post and your others are getting sideeye from plenty of real life Muslims.
Because, despite all their Muslimy Muslimness, it still sounds straight up weird, for all kinds of reasons.

There are all kinds of cultural and family norms throughout MENA, for sure. Behaviors that were cool in the homes of lots of people I know who are also married to MENA guys wouldn't be cool in my husband's house, etc. But everything in this thread is really off the chain.

hmmmm... Well, I will leave out all the details of how we met and visits, etc. because its quite personal and lengthy, lol. His family knows ABOUT me, yes, I just haven't met the family yet. I should have mentioned that. Hard to bond with them over the phone, when we speak different languages, lol. My man speaks wonderful English, but none of them do. I would rather just wait until I meet them, and I can look them all in the eyes, while he transleates. I'm a lot more comfortable with that. And I think they would like it better too.

But I think I probably should say that I am a(new) Muslim. So I would rather do things the... halal (allowed or lawful) way? lol, sorry I am still new to it, and my Arabic is nonexistent at best :) I hope to change that, but it will take time. I've always been horrible with other languages, so for now I do prayers, etc. in English :D . I'm an American convert, I did my shahada in November 2011. So naturally, I want a husband who is Muslim too, and I have a wonderful connection and friendship with this man. Most people's first thought is that HE convinced me to convert. But nooooooooooo, lol. I had a strong interest in it even before I met him.

For the sake of any non-mulsims reading this-- please understand we do things a bit differently. Many Muslims don't really support the whole "dating and courtship" idea. Usually you're either single, or engaged, lol. And there are still many Muslims who marry before being strongly "in love", its mostly just about "Is he/she a good Muslim, and decent, responsible person from a nice family?" Although he and I do consider ourselves "in love". But also wanting to do things right, means I can't be living with him before we get married, and even before converting, I agreed with that-- its how I was raised. Old fashioned, I know, lol.

To clear some things up-- He actually does NOT live around his ex wife's family (or her). He is staying in the apartment upstairs from his own parents. He is staying there now, because he is home from work for a break (works outside Egypt). Every time he comes home, he gets trouble from his ex and her family. They are about 2 hours away from him, but they do custody exchanges with their kid, so that is why they sometimes have contact. But also because for a long time, they have been fighting about the assets and property they acquired while married. He did pay the "dowry" for lack of the correct word, lol. Oh no wait, I see Mahr here, ok. But the fighting is about things they acquired during marriage. She wants everything because she doesn't work, but he thinks it should be divided. As in they each just take what they had before marriage, and anything they each personally bought with their own money. Plus he loaned her brother a lot of money years ago, and he wants that back too. They've all been fighting about it for a long time...

But yeah, still this is not normal for him. I HOPE he's not changing his mind about me, I really hate to even think that... I hope everything is fine. I hope HER family didn't bully and pressure him into forgetting me, and going back to her or something (that's been my biggest worry, to be perfectly honest, because they are extremely pushy people, and sometimes that does happen there...).

But this is just so unlike him! I'll contact the person here who offered to call him, because whether everything is ok, or something bad happened, or something suspicious is going on-- I feel I have the right to know, so I can plan my life accordingly, lol.


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-02 22:40:00
Middle East and North AfricaIntro and Worries
It's promising to hear that he has potential employment possibilities lined up as well, for a lot of people coming here from MENA the employment opportunities can be less than thrilling, especially in the first few years. The expectations vs reality gap, in regards to work and income, has been stressful for a lot of couples on this forum anyways.

The whole refusal to move here because someone made some comments about using you for a visa is really weird though. Who cares? Plenty of people are going to think all kinds of off base, insulting things-it happens. It just seems really weird to let that keep you from moving somewhere you had planned to live.

Edited by sandinista!, 06 July 2012 - 04:08 PM.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-06 16:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaMorocco sex debate rages after imam's death call
Really? What exactly does this particular a$$hole in Morocco have to do with me, or any other adherents to organized religions that know rubbish when they see it?
You realize that there is undoubtedly a fair percentage of Muslims amongst the journalists and activists speaking out against the archaic Moroccan law, and the imam cited, right?
Where does this offensive and repugnant "quest against organized religion" leave them? Wow, thanks for so graciously throwing us a bone here, letting everyone know that despite your "quest" you're not attacking anyone and we can still believe and practice what we want. How magnanimous and benevolent of you.
Meanwhile I know plenty of non-believers or adherents to other organized religions not engaged in fantasy battles or "quests" in their heads against my beliefs-their's are just different or non-existent, and they don't bark about their opposition to others' like an old lady's yippy little chihuahua.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-08 12:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaJuly 2012
I watched episodes from the first season of Frasier while I folded laundry. Dorky. And worked on trying to teach my daughter to steer on her bicycle. She's a good pedaler, but not so controlled with getting to where she wants to go. She ends up someplace else entirely.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-02 01:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaJuly 2012
I'm doing pediatric advice nurse on Thursday, there are always burned fingers to talk people through.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-01 23:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaJuly 2012
If there is any lamer time for 4th of July to land on than on a Wednesday, I'd like to hear it...
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-01 21:19:00
Middle East and North Africa2nd interview in Casa

Exactly.. it never hurts to bring the documents :)

Well it could hurt your hand or your arm if you're standing there waiting a long time with heavy documents.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-13 02:21:00
Middle East and North Africagifts?
Never underestimate most Moroccans' love of sweets is one generalization I feel pretty comfortable with :)
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-23 10:58:00
Middle East and North Africagifts?
Of course- I figured you would :)
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-08 20:26:00
Middle East and North Africagifts?
Cool cool! Are they thinking eastside, westside, north?
I live in a se suburb, but work on the complete opposite end of the nw suburbs. What do they do?
Have they visited before? House or apartment to live in?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-07 23:42:00
Middle East and North Africagifts?
my husband doesn't like maple syrup either. he has a total aversion to fenugreek, and it reminds him too much of fenugreek. he makes honey butter or uses jam instead. which just leaves more for me :)
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-07 21:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaEgypt Olympic Uniforms Are Nike Knockoffs
I guess it's halfway decent Nike is donating gear now. I do find it odd they weren't all over it long before the games even started though. I would be dead surprised if a single multi-millionaire pro b-ball player on the US team paid for a single Nike item they've been sporting though, since before the games even got underway. But that kind of gluttony isn't the problem, it's evil, devious poor people.
Same with studio execs with more money than Scrooge McDuck. The disparity between their paychecks and other studio employees isn't the problem-no it's poor people in developing countries who would never in a million years be able to afford ridiculous and exorbitant licensing fees to see major studio productions legally. They're the big bad thieves. Whatever.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-29 14:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaEgypt Olympic Uniforms Are Nike Knockoffs
It's not theft when the people buying knockoffs would never in a million years be able to buy the real thing in the first place. As long as Adidas and Nike continue to run third world sweatshops, **** them.
Nike et al have to know that there are Olympic athletes that are poor. Instead of sponsoring those athletes and buying them gear, they oink in protest like the pigs they are. Knockoffs create their own microeconomies. Hounding poor people who would never be able to otherwise see
movies if they weren't pirated is ridiculous and blatantly lying when you tell them they're stealing food from people in the entertainment industry. No. The bloat at the top of that industry is responsible for that. But it's so much easier to blame it on random poor people in the developing ****ing world. Good grief.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-27 17:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaAbusive Relationships

I am sure this non judgemental plea will cause many to simply wake up and change their minds about what they are doing. That is if they recovered from the last beating they suffered enough to think clearly. Just like the clouded thinking of those that feel they can persuade someone they dont know to undo what they have begun.
Anyone reading this would have filed to bring the person here already. If thats the case they must know if they have been abused. If so I feel badly for them but doubt they need to be told an address change will cause a behavior change.

No, not anyone. There are several men and women on VJ, active in this very forum, who have not filed anything yet, and/or have not yet traveled to their SO's home country to meet in person. VJ members have a varied schedule for filing their immigration paperwork, etc. Stop pigeonholing. And anyways, what would their filing status have to do with their being aware or not that they had been subjected to abusive behavior? It's not uncommon for abused people to rationalize their abuser's behaviors. Sometimes they don't see it until it's directly pointed out to them, and even then it can sometimes take several times for them to realize/comprehend/accept that they are in fact being subjected to abuse.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-01 12:10:00
Middle East and North AfricaAbusive Relationships

I don't think the person who is critical of your opinion understands the MENA culture or why women may believe that abuse in normal in that culture. If they understood perhaps they wouldn't be so critical? Or perhaps the person just likes to argue for the sake of arguing. Who knows. I have also noticed that many women, especially those unfamiliar with people from MENA and their culture, tend to think abuse and violence is the norm. It happens but it's not normal. Abuse is wrong no matter who is doing it or where they come from.

I would advise anyone entering into a relationship with a MENA man to research his culture (through unbiased sources), talk to people from that culture (other than the object of their affections), talk to other women who have been married to MENA men, etc. It would help understand what is typical and normal and what is not. Not that all MENA men are the same but there are many universal similarities.

the person arguing with her, you, et al is trawling for arguments/the opportunity to be a pompous blowhard. it's nothing at all to do with providing any kind of advice, information, insight or observation about the original topic.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-01 11:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaCasablanca Interview Review and Advice
Additionally, what, if anything did your wife send in with the original application package as evidence of an ongoing relationship SarAyouBliss? Did she send pictures, letters, emails between the two of you, chats, or Skypes or any of that? Casablanca is a consulate that's big on "front-loading"- the interviewing officers often look at those things well in advance of interviews, and in many cases already have a pretty good idea who they are denying and who they are granting visas before the beneficiary even stands in front of them.
It can still be ok if she did not already send those things, you can bring them to the interview, like ForeverWaiting said, but it can make for a more challenging interview process. I would also add that evidence of a relationship/getting to know you stage BEFORE you got married should be included as well. Any letters, chats or whatever from that time should definitely be included too. It should look like there's a normal progression to the relationship, not that you're somehow suddenly married.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-03 08:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaTen years :)
congratulations! :luv:
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-01 18:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaNew here and hoping to learn - Morocco
Lufthansa was not expensive comparatively, when my husband flew with them. And he thought the Frankfurt airport was cool. They were one of two international flights out of PDX, and now they're gone here. :(
Flight experiences are totally subjective though. In the four times I ever went on a RAM flight, everyone was really, really nice, and no luggage was ever lost. YMMV.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-18 13:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaWait Time In Paris

Yes CDG is full of FRENCH... :innocent: I have had the pleasure

But going through is there extra security checks because he will be traveling on a U.S immigration visa???
Just curious if this would be another leg of this VISA JOURNEY to anticipate more delay than regular airport delays...


I confirmed there is no ATV needed..by weeding through the France Diplomate web site listings
so that is not an issue TG!!

BTW Hello to my neighbor further down south!!! :D

there weren't for my husband going through frankfurt, but hopefully someone who's gone through CDG will post!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-04 19:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaWait Time In Paris
no transit visa needed for CDG right?
will this be his first time @ CDG? has he flown internationally before? sometimes some extra time for the travel inexperienced is needed. two hours would be the minimum in my opinion. i am somebody that does not ever like to be rushed, i'd rather risk waiting a bit than be stressed about not having enough time, so that's the pov i'm coming from :)
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-04 16:31:00
Middle East and North Africa2 more questions
Aww, carsick doggies are no fun at all!
Barkley I would not classify as a picky eater. He's a shop dog, that hangs out at my dad's business all day and will eat anything people offer him there. My parents feed him the older dog iams. A former employee there adopted Barkley's sister though, and her dog has always been a picky eater. A lot skinnier than Barkley too, but I don't know what she feeds her. They are very funny little dogs, and as sweet as can be.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-05 13:25:00
Middle East and North Africa2 more questions
my parents have a chiweenie too, but i'd never heard them called that, and when i tell my dad about that name he's going to love it.
barkley rides in my husband's lap on the way to work-he gets a ride from my dad in the mornings. my husband is one of the few people that dog actually likes, lol.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-04 19:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates
Hey Kristen_maroc! Glad to hear life is good for you guys. :)

Edited by sandinista!, 12 August 2012 - 01:11 PM.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-12 13:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates
I'm sorry to hear that Mounir :(
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-08 00:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates
Who's Tammy?
Tany, I'm happy to hear life is good. I'm so sorry about your dad though. It's very hard seeing something like that happen to a loved one.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-04 23:33:00
Middle East and North Africa221g in Casablanca Morocco
age differences where women are 5 or 6 years older, in the context of the relationship as a whole, can matter. in some it might matter a whole lot, in others it won't as much. there are all kinds of variables, and some of the variables depend on other variables to determine how much or how little they matter in the overall scheme of things. ages are one such variable.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-04 15:28:00
Middle East and North Africa221g in Casablanca Morocco
It's highly unlikely that age is the issue here.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-23 22:14:00