ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
There's more to it than "all marriage is risky". Humans driving cars is risky too. But there are degrees to risk, and things that come into play when assessing risk. When my son starts driving a car in a few years, there's a reason why his insurance premiums won't be the same as mine, with my long term, safe driving record. And there's a reason why some of the situations that come up on this board look like major risks, and reckless, and others look more in control.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-21 13:46:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
For those of us wondering, I do hope you'll share what exactly makes you think a reformed scammer is a-ok boyfriend material Kat. Wouldn't touch that with someone else's 10 foot pole. "American woman mistreated me, blah blah blah held me hostage" is nearly always just the stateside version of "all the Arab womens are money grubbing, immature, intellectually inferior" nonsense...
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-21 10:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Corgis make me bonkers! They're so ridiculously cute, and they have so much personality. Congrats!

agreed on the above, too, and wish you guys continued happiness.


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-18 14:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man

 
Did I mention I am a grandmother also :) :)
yes my baby girl turned 6 yesterday....
 
I cant wait to start cooking a Italian feast for my love's arrival in 39 days - he is a bit of tired of Middle Eastern food.
We are both total watch movie buffs - it never gets old being wrapped in his arms watching our favorites
 
I need some Lamb recipes - thats the one thing I dont know how to cook.
 
So many celebrations to come....








Lots and lots of lamb recipes, compiled from over the years.
At one time, MENA even published a cookbook, lol.http://www.visajourn...ultans-kitchen/

Edited by sandinista!, 17 October 2013 - 06:46 PM.


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-17 18:46:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Before he got here!
We had lots of things lined up, and other things up in the air. He works at my family's business, and we discussed the pros and cons of that while we were waiting on visa stuff. Once he had his EAD, he had a job there. So far, it's working well. It was important to him and me both that he not arrive destitute. He had savings for while he waited for his EAD. If that's important to you guys, cool. If not, cool too. Understand, like Nasturtium mentioned, how he fits in with where he's from, and how you fit in that picture. No matter what, even though my husband and i are both Muslims, even though we both have similar thoughts and opinions on our religious practices, even though we both love milkshakes, but disagree on chocolate vs strawberry, and even though we grew up both loving Belle and Sebastian cartoons, it's still totally out of the norm that we're together. Culturally, some of the arrangements that come up amongst couples on vj can be really, really out of the norm. Some of that has to do with their individuality, and both sides are happy and comfortable. Other times one side or both sides are uncomfortable with the arrangement, or their partner's stance on something. It can sometimes be a really tricky to deal with combination of cultural and personal stuff. Knowing as much as you can about each others societal norms and your SOs place there can help with sorting them out sometimes.
Sorry for rambling.


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-17 17:39:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
I didn't have the opportunity to be in country for very long at all and get any data from acquaintances or co workers unfortunately. One thing that was important to me was getting my parents on board with the whole deal, and having them meet my husband and his family. They weren't all fluttery lovey dovey over him like I was, so their insight was a little more clear headed. All kinds of factors figured into me liking him ss a person, and that turning into him being somebody I loved, and then feeling that he could be someone I could raise my son with and want to have more children with, and all kinds of other life things, some really specific to us as a couple, others more universal. I liked him, my parents liked him, his parents liked us, etc. It's always a bit of a gamble, but everyone has different stakes, and consequences for taking that gamble. Sone bets are played really rashly, and that often ends badly, more often than when the same bets are played with more contemplation. I didn't even go to morocco until I'd been talking to and getting to know my husband for two years. We took it really, really slow.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-17 16:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
My husband golfs, quite well in fact. That was the whole joke, that I won the kids game of golf. Because that's what we do on eid, stuff with our kids. Which makes it even weirder with you two and the innuendo, because it was more than clear that all that was being discussed was innocuous, family activity.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 21:39:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Vocab fail, so a fallback into inane ad hominem. Ok then.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 20:51:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man

I keep trying to get my husband to go to do mini golf with me.  I think he would like it!

.

Yeah! I think it's almost as fun as croquet.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 20:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Putt putt is strictly about putt putt
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 19:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
At 645 pm last night, my husband was losing to me at putt putt golf with our kids. No need to mention this, I just feel like randomly bragging about something.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 17:40:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man

What now?


Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.

Maybe that's where the assumption came from, your own words?

My husband's father takes care of his unmarried daughter, if at any point he was not able to, then my husband would. From here or there, or wherever he was. What he wouldn't do is talk about any of them derogatorily online, regardless of anything, for any reason ever. Or make reference to inflicting violence on any living being. Least of all any female, ever. One of many ways he differs...






Awww here she goes assuming I didn't take care of my sisters. Didn't your husband scamper off to the U.S.too.


Edited by Kathryn41, 16 October 2013 - 10:07 PM.
to remove personal attack

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 17:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Because if they don't want to work they don't have to. Whether he likes it or not. scampering off to the US while not providing for all of the women in your family, instead of just the ones you pick and choose is, well, shameful. As is talking ####### about them to a bunch of strangers, and MOST OF ALL making any references to inflicting violence on them. But whatever. Selective outrage. Sheesh.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 17:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Nice.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 16:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Point? Essentially they're assisting in what is 100% your job and fulfilling your obligations, and you go online and talk ####### about them because they don't want to do your job for you anymore. Hshuma.

You don't have to tell me anything islamically speaking. I have six sisters, two in El Jadida married, and the other four live 16 hours from Morocco. We work to help our family, we don't ask for help from our families. Our mother is our priority, so yes, my sisters left their home to help support her many years ago, so,there goes your lesson right out the door.



sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 16:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Bumping your post because I thought you made some really great points that got overlooked in all the crazy.

I am 11+ years older than my fiance. When I first started the process, I worried about all my red flags. I kept thinking about all the ways we would be rejected.  I even had imaginary conversations in my head with immigration officials pleading my case. Because, after all, I had the most amazing Egyptian fiance ever and I knew my words would just prove it.
 
Thankfully for me time was on my side.  I didn't think so at first, but I have come to realize that in all this mess, DECA slowdowns and consulate closures gave me the chance to know my fiance even better. This summer I was fortunate enough to spend 70 days in Egypt. As a teacher, I was afforded that time. It totally took away the honeymoon feelings I had from my three previous (incredibly short in comparison) trips.   We really saw each other's good sides and, well, our not so good sides.  He discovered my true feelings on housework--which pretty much mirrored his feelings on delightfully delicious fruits and vegetables (basically he hated them).
 
One of the other reasons this time was so valuable was because I had family members (who truly love me) doing research. As you might suspect, this research spoke of the young Egyptian scammers. It convinced my family that I was making a huge mistake because the only thing my fiance wanted was a green card. How could I not see it?  Because I love my family and I want an authentic, lifelong relationship with this man, I was able to explore those thoughts and ideas.   And with the passage of more time there is no doubt. I know--even more strongly than I thought I knew before--that I am making the right decision.  Thankfully, my family is making that mind change too.
 
As I look at the past year of waiting for my dreams to come true, I realize that all of our evidence building not only improved our case, but more importantly it strengthened my love for a 11+ year younger man who is imperfect, just like me.  
 
Best wishes for your journey.
 
 
 
 
 














sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 16:27:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
MENA culture lesson: islamically, women are under no obligation to support themselves. If they're not married, it's their fathers and brothers job.

Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.



Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.





sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 16:18:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
MENA culture lesson: some people don't post photos out of ghayra reasoning. Mileage varies.

All I can do is laugh at your racist post of older women. You only wish you looked like some of the older women who obviously have the guts to posts there picture here.



sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 16:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Some people on the board are more hand holdy touchy feely in their interactions here than others. Some are more acerbic. Honestly, when I was in major information seeking mode here, I learned more from the latter than the former. Mileage will vary. That's how Internet boards work. All kinds of personalities post on them, some you'll like more than others.
But even Peter Pan was relatively civil in this thread, which was like, whoa. It was weird how suddenly things got so derailed after really pretty tame commentary.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 15:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man

This is one of the best things I've read on this board.

She has a way of doing that.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 15:17:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Msheesha!! It's Groundhog Day!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 08:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Ding ding ding!
Now we've reached the "Alleged Moroccan guy talking ####### about Moroccan women" mark. These threads all follow the same trajectory.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-16 08:41:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
This thread meets all the marks. SuperMENAmen wise beyond their (young) ages, a healthy amount of "My Mohammad is totes different", and a drizzle of "American mens are all lousy slobs". I feel an American Queen lurking out there, just waiting for the right time to
make its entrance though.

rofl.gif  Your "token phrase" is classic! star_smile.gif





sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-15 01:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Adding, I am actually a couple years older than my husband. (insert token phrase about gee, it's a good thing he's such an old soul and I'm not really all that grown up, and am lucky to look so much younger, etc etc)
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-13 20:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man

What business is it of yours to speak about women marrying men young enough to be there kids.  That's just speaking hateful and you have a lot of hate amongst yourself/inside to say such.  Your not a older woman married to a younger so really your opinion is blurred and not needed here.

The numbers jive. My kid will be nearly as old as the the OP's fiancé when I'm her age. How that's hateful is beyond me, it's just numbers. No one's been rude or hateful about it. On the other hand, you've been rude and snippy since you first chimed in here, as well as being completely off point.

Non MENA people can study MENA norms, cultures, and standards until the cows come home. What ultimately matters in the situation of an American woman who is significantly older than her fiancé, with a significantly larger amount of adult life experiences is what that man's life experiences are and his relationship skills and abilities to relate to a wife who is at a completely different place in life, with those life experiences formed in a completely different place from where the guy is coming from. If he doesn't have the actual experience, as is common in MENA, does he at least seem promising? Squawking at Futureberberwife, like it's anthropology pop quiz time, doesn't have anything to do with what she was asking. Yea, north African norms are way different from north American. Everyone's clear on that. What matters, and what I think Futureberberwife was getting at, is how does the OP plan on dealing and adjusting to that? Can she? Will he contribute and try equally as hard? That'll be up to them. Hopefully it works. Lots of people have tried, and some have succeeded.  Lots haven't. But anything less than Pollyanna is like hateful, blah blah blah. 



sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-13 20:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Lol @ the persecutory complexes here. Good grief. You realize a lot of the same people who
supposedly hate alllll the MENA guys are the very same ones who adamantly speak up in defense of the very real good guys coming out of MENA when people post about relationships gone wrong, and how it must be alllll of MENA guys' fault and they're all bad when that happens. But whatever, MENA baddd.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-13 16:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
Yes! I totally have nothing good to say about all the MENA guys, all the time. Without fail.

Yessss! It's the big meanies on VJ saying meanie stuff just to be jerks. No
basis at all! MENA consulates, especially in the cases of dramatically large age gaps where American women are older, are just randomly some of the most difficult, scrutinizing consulates in the entire world out of sheer coincidence. No basis at all! 

Lol, the mods should babysit and open a thread about this. One would think if it's the undeniable, dominant, prevailing phenomenon where the majority of totally mismatched and culturally bizarre relationships where American women marry MENA guys young enough to be their kids were outdistancing everyone else in marriage longevity, the threads wouldn't need mod creation to come into existence. But ok. No one denies there's a few scattered long term age gap couples out there. But the odds are heavily stacked. That's all anyone is saying here. 





sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-13 16:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
There's a wide range of MENA male capabilities and norms among guys in their 20s living at home, just like any other group of guys. My husband came to the US knowing some basic cooking and cleaning and self sufficiency skills, and actively worked to learn more of these skills while we have been married. No women in his house wait on any males in his house hand and foot. But there's plenty of stories and experiences shared here in MENA over the years of utter incompetence in these areas, and the guys seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that incompetence, and not looking to make any changes or improvements there. Some relationships with American females are totally ok with that. Others it takes completely by surprise, and it becomes a big source of conflict. Reading experiences shared on this website since 2006, I've seen a lot of complaints and frustration expressed about it. Far too many to write off. And far too many to agree with general statements about how it's silly not to assume that guys in their 20s, MENA or not, are totally prepared to run households with women of any age. That's ridiculous. 

Money has been a major source of conflict too, I've read countless complaints about MENA guys who once they start working in the US contribute absolutely zero to the financial needs in the house. This has to be discussed beforehand. There are no guarantees at all that a MENA guy in his 20s, or any other guy, is financially responsible, or knows how to or wants to contribute to household expenses, just because Madeinmorocco2 says they " understand the meaning of money and how to spend money wisely at a very young age as we start working and helping our families live." No. That is not even remotely a universal truth. MENA guys can be just as big of losers in this area as any other guys. 

Comparing broken marriage rates in the US of same age couples to couples with age differences in Morocco is like trying to compare apples to bowling balls, Madeinmorocco2. Sociologically, there are HUGE differences, reasons, and consequences that make it impossible to compare side by side the way you're trying to do here. Pointless comparison really.




sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-13 14:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaOlder American woman Younger Algerian man
I won't name names, but there have been many posters over the years who had crystal clear major alarm bells raised before their SOs even had interview dates, but barreled right through anyways, damn the consequences. The train can be stopped a lot farther back. It's not USCIS' job to stop all the trains, and it's certainly not what AP is for, etc. Ultimately that responsibility lies with the petitioner. I guess it's important to be considerate that importing totally obvious scammers, or total sociopaths has effects that go beyond just the petitioner and their families?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-10-10 12:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaSome bad news
I'm so sorry for all of this FBW. I wish all the best for you, for the easiest, most comfortable treatment possible, and good outcomes.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-01-07 16:59:00
Middle East and North AfricaLikelihood of MENA K-1 rejection?

Not an academic expert, but Cairo seems less prone to outright denials as opposed to like, Casablanca. They're not a cakewalk of course, and they throw up their own weird hurdles with visiting guy's neighbors, and stuff like that. There was a guy in Cairo who had an interview, thought everything went fine, until they called him back in for another 3 hour interview with 2 American COs and an Egyptian official of some sort. They also had someone visit his fiancee in the States and interview her for 3 hours. Cairo likes field trips? 

There's all kinds of denial/ what to do in case of one discussion threads in MENA. The big pinned topic here in MENA at the top too. I would try an advanced search and use "denial" for the key word, and make your search parameters for the last several years. You can also limit the search to just MENA. 


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-03-29 14:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaAnyone Else Married / Engaged To An Egyptian?
Jinx, lol. Should've refreshed before posting
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-02-05 10:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaAnyone Else Married / Engaged To An Egyptian?

 
You don't know? The same way someone can look French or Brazillian or Japanese or Egyptian... people groups tend to develop similar looks and mannerisms, not to mention that whole genetic race thing... ;)

French, like Nicolas Batum, whose dad was from Cameroon? Or François Hollande? Brazilian like Gisele Bündchen, or an Amazon basin native? Does a pretty darn American looking person look like a Cherokee or an Inuit, or Shaquille O'Neal?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-02-05 10:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaAnyone Else Married / Engaged To An Egyptian?
There are lots of funny, corny things going on in MENA, and they're fun to talk about. I just wouldn't put actual human suffering and pain in the same humorous context. Egypt's human rights deficits for all of their citizens don't belong with their corny furniture and amazing studio photography effects is all.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-01-21 15:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaAnyone Else Married / Engaged To An Egyptian?
Divorce is less common due to Egypt's prevailing misogynistic interpretations of Islamic family law that are a far cry from sunnah ideals. The ways it falls short of those ideals isn't the kind of thing i say hahaha about, but that's just me.

Edited by sandinista!, 21 January 2014 - 03:01 PM.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-01-21 14:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaNew home
Congratulations! I love that Cape style, so cute.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-04-08 17:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaIn gaza need israeli police certificate

check your pm piwiip

You are the awesome.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-12-23 20:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaQuestions about Getting Married
I'm feeling miffed that my husband didn't have any embassy shouting matches on my behalf. We didn't even get married in an embassy, but it's still just making me feel inadequate now.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-03-07 14:13:00
Middle East and North AfricaQuestions about Getting Married
I don't see anyone fussing over the research so much as the erroneous conclusions being drawn from it.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-03-07 01:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaQuestions about Getting Married
"She" is actually a he, and I hope they will explain what they're talking about.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-02-06 11:31:00