ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresCanceling K1 and going CR1 Question..
QUOTE (KarimaG @ Dec 15 2009, 06:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (me_4_musa @ Dec 15 2009, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Chica Yeyé @ Dec 15 2009, 10:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is sad and irresponsible behavior, whichever way you slice it Karima.


ChicaYeYe, is it KarimaG or MouadsWife? Remember when she posted a farewell post on VJ (one of several) that she no longer needed VJ that she could figure out the visa process herself only to come back a day later undercover as KarimaG. ph34r.gif She thought she was slick! jest.gif
(great, now i got the Mission Impossible theme in my head).


Yeah I was going to leave to get away from you bitches. But decided to stay after talking to several other members who I became friends with on here... and opted just to change my user name so you guys would leave me the F alone. So actually thats pretty much how that went. But I dont give a ####### anymore..... Yeah but it its pretty pathetic how a person would 'have' to change there user name just you guys would leave them the hell alone isnt it? What more pathetic is some of you'all seem to have nothing more to do.

you are utterly fascinating from an anthropological standpoint.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2009-12-15 20:25:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresRe. the closed thread
ha! i thought it was intentional, for dramatic effect. i had my finger over the mouse, thinking OMG, what will the next post say?!?!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2009-12-16 17:06:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresRe. the closed thread
it's subjective... wink.gif
as well, why wasn't the offensive bigot's post not removed from the 2nd page? there definitely seems to be an agenda here.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2009-12-16 16:52:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresRe. the closed thread
QUOTE (KarimaG @ Dec 15 2009, 06:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah I was going to leave to get away from you bitches. But decided to stay after talking to several other members who I became friends with on here... and opted just to change my user name so you guys would leave me the F alone. So actually thats pretty much how that went. But I dont give a ####### anymore..... Yeah but it its pretty pathetic how a person would 'have' to change there user name just you guys would leave them the hell alone isnt it? What more pathetic is some of you'all seem to have nothing more to do.


just a bit of confusion, why was this post not removed from the locked thread, and the poster not suspended for instigating the incident? only the respondent, who was referred to as a "b!tch" by the instigator gets suspended, but not the one being vulgar in the first place? blink.gif
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2009-12-16 16:47:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDealing with a previous marriage in a high fraud country.
The relationship is the only thing to talk about though. It's what people are granted these types of visas based on, the merits and character and plausibility of it. Plausibility wise, you've thrown out a ton of MENA canards that are just textbook "are you kidding?". Plenty of people have still received visas in those circumstances. You're lucky you're going through Egypt, Casablanca would chew this up and spit it out. So that's a plus. Only you two know how and why you're both ok with several things that raise "are you kidding?" alarm bells. That's not a judgment, and I'm in no way asserting it's any of my business at all because it totally isn't. What I hope though is that you aren't completely oblivious to just how eyebrow raising it potentially could be for the person who's deciding whether they give your fiancé a visa or not, and just how much more in depth answers are going to need to be when your fiance is asked about them. You've been given some really helpful advice, from a varied and knowledgeable group of people, even those you seem to write off. I wouldn't recommend that.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-03-21 02:07:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDealing with a previous marriage in a high fraud country.
But really do you honestly think a CO is going to view all of this in softer, kinder, gentler light? Whether you like it or not, your absurd pat answers to some very huge life issues are not going to cut it at the Egyptian consulate. You may be a nice, intelligent human being, in all kinds of ways, but you have got to realize how you come across. Because ultimately when it's interview time and a CO wants to know why your fiancé is leaving his kids behind, non sequiturs about MENA male migration for employment that have nothing to do with him aren't going to cut it. Bumbling through Egypt with a "spiritual contract" you've inexplicably signed but cannot define isn't the hallmark of someone who's thought out much of anything here. They've seen you before, they'll see you again. He'll probably end up with a visa despite all this. Success!!
Looks like you've got this all covered.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2014-03-20 19:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD

:thumbs: Great! I'm excited b/c I haven't been able to fast for the past few yrs b/c of medical reasons. I'm giving myself the medical all clear this year, and am looking forward to the first year of my husband and I fully experiencing Ramadan together.

Good for you! This will be my first year fasting with a super, extra busy work schedule, so that will bring its own challenges too. I like to be getting ready for bed at about the time it will be to eat on worknights.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-03 08:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
I'm down!

I also love the word, "spinster"! So, I thought I'd post this too.

http://www.moroccoto...occo-charities/

Anyone else fasting for Ramadan? UmmSqueakster used to do a Ramadan thread. Anyone up for it?


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-07-02 21:40:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
Aww! I'm sorry about your soil of death :-|
I hope you have happy plants in there soon.
Bush squash, marigolds, and zinnias do sound lovely.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-30 19:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
The lollipops I've seen are so pretty. I hope mine are too.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-30 19:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
I got some three sisters, and lollipop!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-30 18:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
On this lazy, rainy Saturday, I am converting my kids into Inspector Gadget fans. And I planted two more types of tomatoes I was able to talk my husband into buying me.
I went to work for like an hour, but it was so quiet I got to go home early. :)
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-30 18:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
Have you ever stayed in Jordan during Ramadan?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-28 12:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
I had lunch at a cart called Viking Soul Food today. Salmon lefse, and I split a dessert lefse with lemon curd and pecans with a friend. It's really yummy, and I was nice and saved half of my sandwich for my husband. I had a lingonberry drink too that tastes just like the one at ikea. Two thumbs up for Viking food!
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-22 17:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
We went with bank statement, tax form, and our daughter's birth certificate for ROC No pictures or letters. It was quick too, I think a month and a half. We underestimated the speed of the US postal service because the package arrived a day early for ROC eligibility, so they mailed it back to us. It arrived back a day after eligibility window was open. Postage well spent uscis, postage well spent.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-06-22 17:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaGot Approved
yeah zagray!! you are well on your way to success, happiness, and an amazing life together with your fiancee. one step at a time.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2012-08-06 15:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaMarriage certificates

 
 
I say, go back to the Imam at the Mosque, and ask him IF he is licensed to perform marriages in the state.  If he is, then he can sign the marriage document as 'The Officiant' and the state where you reside will accept it and him. 
 
it = marriage document from the county 
 
So, dig a bit more, talk with the Imam at the Mosque, soonish. 
 
 







Exactly.
At the time I got married the imam at the masjid we were married in was not licensed, so we had two separate ceremonies. It happens, no big deal.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-06-09 18:14:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I'm cool with charges of pseudo intellectualism coming from the likes of the ethnocentric bigot with the badass degree in international relations any day of the week.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-22 10:18:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
The chasm between what you actually post and what you say you've said gets wider with every post.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-22 00:14:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
So embassies and consulates are to blame when a guy is physically abusive towards his wife before he even immigrates, but the embassy or consulate has no knowledge whatsoever of the physical abuse, because said wife does not alert them of the abuse that would have kept them out of this country in the first place, eh? Brilliant! Without this knowledge, on what basis was any consulate supposed to deny the OP's husband's visa?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 23:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
OMG, wishing people ramadan karim, there's a game changer. I didn't realize we were dealing with someone who hands out ramadan karims. Why didn't you say so from the beginning?! Don't tell me you have one of those "coexist"
stickers on your car too!!

Anytime anyone, Muslim or not, makes a drastic lifestyle change or radical departure from formerly held religious or non religious beliefs there is always going to be a possibility that this departure may be unpalatable to their spouse or SO. If my husband started hanging out in bars or joined a thuggish motorcycle club, I wouldn't stay with him. Why would he be obligated to stick with me if I suddenly, randomly embraced unpalatable to him lifestyle choices and behaviors? It's less a MENA thing than a be yourself from the very beginning with your spouse and don't paint yourself as someone you're not. And neither should either partner expect to change each other in fundamental ways.

I'm missing how your sh1tty husband's behaviors means that no matter what, myself and everyone else here married to guys from MENA who aren't MENA themselves will never be part of their husband's inner circle, whatever that means. Your ####### hasn't kept me and my children from being as close to my husband as his own blood, in every possible way, and I know way too many people here in the exact same situation to believe it is any kind of anomaly. Your getting ####### doesn't mean everyone else got it too.

Edited by sandinista!, 21 July 2013 - 08:13 PM.






sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 20:12:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"

Again, I NEVER once tried to convince anybody on here that their story is the same. You must have insecurities to believe I was implying that. I was referring to my story since OP and then defending MYSELF against the backlash I received when people try to say culture had ZERO to do with it. Culture does define our behaviors and influence us in many ways, whether we want to admit it or not. You have been the most hostile in this entire thread. AGAIN, I NEVER POINTED ANYBODY OUT. I WAS TALKING ABOUT MYSELF AND THE HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS OF OTHER STORIES ONLINE THAT ARE EXTREMELY SIMILAR TO MINE!!!! 

Doh, there it is again.

What's funny is that over the years, the very same people you've ranted and railed against in this thread have had countless discussions here about things to look out for in imported fiances and husbands, what signs or red flags could exist in MENA, things that look like American women are being majorly scammed or treated crappy or second rate by MENA people and allllll that, but without all of the ethno-religious baiting bs you flung out here from the very beginning. Whatever points you wanted to make, or experiences you wanted to share were irrevocably tainted by your own ####### you chose to spew all over your posts. Sorry you picked the wrong place for that particular kind of baiting, and had the misfortune of dumping it where some people don't swallow that brand of #######. You might find some better camaraderie on those Daniel Pipes forums. Best of luck!


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 18:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
The whole thread is well peppered with such comments from you. From the get-go.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 14:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
By your guidelines? You've done nothing but beat people over the head here with your ideals for living which are hardly universal, and in many examples have said downright bigoted things about Arabs and Muslims in the name of advancing your ideals which plenty of people don't give a damn about. Zidane's kids' names are not at the forefront of most people's priorities in navigating inter-cultural and in many cases inter-religious relationships. Out of all the big picture stuff, that is many times discussed here with all kinds of intelligent and nuanced perspectives, your harping about the stupid ####### you've been harping about has turned you into a joke. Pitiful, and silly. Which isn't what you wanted, but people have responded to what you gave them.

No name is less than any other name. I am just referring to this man's open mindedness to go against tradition and do what his wife wants. 
 
 Wow, you are both very one sided. I am trying to say that a man who really truly loves a woman will realize that kids are usually what there mother is!!!! This is why we use terms like "motherland". LOL. Zidane is a good man for not worrying about pride and tradition (as most MENA men seem to do) and just compromising with his wive's culture, as marriage should be a compromise NOT about going completely to one side. 



sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 14:46:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
It seems you would benefit greatly from re-reading your first posts.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 14:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
Really, people's husbands should be researching this so they won't suck so bad because of their being MENA.

Edited by sandinista!, 21 July 2013 - 02:24 PM.

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 14:24:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
So I married Obi Wan Kenobi?
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 14:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I like that it's not good enough that I wanted to marry a guy that's Muslim like I already was, because some people like that kind of agreement and arrangement, but he needs to be more like an Algerian soccer player who married a woman who is not Muslim and they have their own way of raising their kids THAT ALL THE MENA SHOULD ASPIRE TO even if no one in the couple isn't Muslim. Nevermind MY Muslimy Muslimness or my Muslimy Muslim husband letting me name our daughter whatever I wanted, I didn't name her something American so now I'm some big spineless jellyfish.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 13:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
Maybe this is the part where you lay out all your degrees you've earned over the years, randomly? Because that's what educated people do, randomly blather about degrees they have that have nothing to do with the discussion, but whatever, traction.

 
I'm actually not bitter or pathetic, but you have decided that everyone who misinterpreted your unclear statement is in fact bitter/attacking you.  That advice was from Creative Writing.  I didn't think my professor at the time was bitter and pathetic.   

What did you want from people?  People expressed their condolences for your situation, then focused on the person present in this thread-- you.  They saw a potential problem and thought that they could help by helping you to see the same problem.  It's clearly not going to work, as you're really immature in your ability to take criticism or assistance.  You need to consider this as you go through law school.  Clarity of thought in writing, ability to not fly into personal attacks, not making assumptions without evidence, and ability to not be hampered by your personal beleifs and prejudices seem like areas of issue for you.

Re-reading the thread, it reads like you wrote X, then people respond with Y, and you come out swinging and calling everyone bitter, pathetic, and insecure because they disagree.  That reads like a tantrum.  You make a LOT of assumptions about everyone in here. 
 






Deja vu!

Unfortunately, this sort of attitude is not that uncommon on VJ.   Sometimes it's the men doing it - slamming all American women as man-hating bra-burners because their relationship with an American woman didn't work out, or slamming all FSU women as lying conniving gold diggers because they got taken for a ride, etc. etc.   Certainly makes for some entertaining threads kicking.gif
 
 
 





sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 13:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
It's sweet that so many people have tried to reason with this nonsense, and really telling about how kind and patient so many MENA contributors are. But getting through to the op and their ####### has been Sisyphean since the first page. Convincing one's self that everyone around them is covered in the same ####### they got covered in, or will be soon, to cope with the mess their life has become is certainly easier. And she seems to be having fun with it. I haven't heard such badas$ digs since middle school anyways.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 13:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"

No, he just wants burritos. Veggie, please.

But he did have to wrench on a car today, even though he didn't wanna.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 00:59:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"

 
But does he want to go and party?  Does he want to shoot the pier? Does he want to take the doggie for a walk, or look at naked chicks and drink beer?

No, he just wants burritos. Veggie, please.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 00:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
this Michael Bolton think makes me to stage an intervention though.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 00:56:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
My father converted my husband into a Neil Young fan, though my husband already liked CSNY. But, nary an arabic song to be found on my day's iPod, go figure.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 00:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"

 
I have yet to really adopt anything from his culture.  I like falafels and hummus.  I don't think that constitutes a cultural adaptation.  So now that we've disproven your hypothesis, what's next?
 

Will he eat burritos, or listen to Sublime? Those may cancel out any and all falafel.
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-21 00:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I'd like a checklist of Arab vs western stuff, and a scoring guide.
If you ate tagine at least once in the last 5 days give yourself 2 points, if your husband has put on a jellaba 3 or more times in the last year give yourself 5 points, etc. It could be country specific, what with the OP having a masters in international relations it should be a cinch.

See post #8.

When you put it in that context though I can think of many too that have compromised as well and adopted ideas/habits/culture.

Under whose standards, and why do those standards count or mean anything?

sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-20 20:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
Holy schizoid back and forth about "I am simply explaining MY story" to "NOBODY ON HERE CAN SAY THAT THEIR HUSBAND WOULD ADOPT THEIR BACKGROUND THE WAY YOU HAVE ADAPTED TO HIS", batman.

No matter how much you huff and puff stinky, toxic ethnocentric garbage on the forum because you ended up with a sh1tty husband, the fact remains you don't know jack about what goes on in total strangers' homes, whether their husbands are MENA, Thai, or Samoan. If that's where you're at in this pile of ####### you got yourself into, you've got a long ways to go.


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-20 19:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"

You can probably stop with the generalizations and "never" talk like you have any clue about all MENA men. There are, for sure, good and bad stories to be told. Not every one is like yours. You picked a bad apple...simple enough. If he's beating on you he'll probably beat on some woman from back home too.

My kids spend one month alone with my non-muslim parents in another state each summer. Last year we all went to Disney World with my family. This is a man who is god fearing and dedicated to his family. Family being me and our children. I have no doubt that he has given me, in the last 11 years, everything and more he would have given a woman from his own country.

I do acknowledge that really sad stories like yours exist but I refuse to admit that they are the norm. They are not the norm if you choose a good person.



yeah, my husband's putting in the last few hours of his 60 hour work week as i type this, and i can't help but think how much more effort he'd put into it if only i myself were moroccan too...


The thing is that many men from certain cultures are more likely to normalize physical abuse than others. Also, Arab Muslim men (with the exception of some who are secular and/or Western educated) do NOT compromise at all when it comes to culture and religion. Most men from most other religions and cultures will compromise with their wives. In Islam, kids have to absolutely be raised as Muslims and a non-Muslim wife is less than a Muslim wife. Convert or not convert, you will always be less than a woman from their own culture. Sorry to break the news, but sooner or later, the truth comes. Maybe I was insecure and naive, but that doesn't change the facts that most MENA men will NEVER go to the lengths for a woman that the women goes for them. You convert, respect their culture, respect their family, agree to raise children in their religion (those children will know little to nothing about your culture and religion), as yourself, will this man do the same for you? No, he will never abandon his beliefs for you.

you're quite the anthropologist here!


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-07-20 16:22:00
Middle East and North Africathe other wife and my interview

yeah, you're in a hot hot mess here. 


sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-08-10 16:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaCousin marriage (Egypt)

I wonder why you attack Sarah and Adnan, coz they have no any issues against any one, but, as a VJ member, he or she is trying to help.

Please let's respect the opinion of all VJ members.

well, all except her opinion of course, right? :rolleyes:
sandinista!FemaleMorocco2013-03-03 03:29:00