ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
VietnamStunned...
Congrats!! Just now wait for the test and you are home free!!
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-04-28 09:18:00
VietnamCould I live on USD$20,000 per year in HCMC?

In some other thread somewhere in here, Jerome mentioned he had criminal records in the States. Maybe that's one of the reason he couldn't get the job he wants; therefore, defending the "high life" in VN so vigorously.

They simply just can't check the criminal record(s) there. I also mention this to warn any other potential VNese bride/groom out there. Check the criminal records of your partner(s)!!! Just because he/she looks so nice doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with his/her past history (that is if you care)



Don't worry about my past Dau Que, that is neither here nor there, I had a professional job in Missouri that moved me out to Indiana making over 50k a year, my crimes were when I was 18 so they never came up on a background check, and they had since been expunged years ago, I am pushing life in Viet Nam because unlike YOU I have ENJOYED my time here, and for ME it is a great place to live with a low cost of living. As far as informing the potential VNese bride/groom, my wife knew about my past history before I EVER came to visit her. I have nothing to hide when it comes to my past, it is what it is, and I have had a bad past, but I dont cry about it, because my past has made me into the person I am today, ever evolving and ever learning. Besides this post was about living in Viet Nam for $20,000 a year, not what a persons past is :ot2:

Yes there is motorbike insurance here, not sure about apartment insurance, but I am sure someone would sell it to you, just dont know how good it would be. You can get about anything in Viet Nam you want for a price.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-04-28 18:36:00
VietnamCould I live on USD$20,000 per year in HCMC?

LG TV > TCL

At microcenter 47 inch for $549
At Fry's 50 inch for $579

Hannspree 42

at Walmart for $439.00

Oh and TCL in the US.

Amazon.com for $399.99


Oh yeah and in the United States all these stores have return policies, does anyone in Vietnam have return policies and let you try it out in your house?

I don't miss the rolling black outs that Saigon and the rest of Vietnam get almost every month. Maybe that's how they keep the cost down.


Electric in the US during the winter (depending on where you live) $200 to $300 a month > Electric anytime in Viet Nam a month $35 to $75 (depending on how much you run an ac) Hmm, and electric in the summer is still around $100 a month in the US if you run an AC any amount of time so lets say the average electric bill in the US is $100 a month (I know this is low but for the sake of argument we will use this figure) Average electric bill in HCMC $50 a month, high mine is only about $40 a month so lets see that is a savings of $50 per month multiply that by 12 months hmmmm that is $600 a year savings Hmmmm even the $399 tv VS the $600 one in Viet Nam off sale that equates to about $400 a year in savings. As far as the warranty, my brother in law's Samsung 65" tv's motherboard went out, it was 11 months old, one month left on warranty, it was replaced with an entirely new unit and given another 12 month warranty NO QUESTIONS ASKED, I know this because I had to drive him to the shop while he rode on back holding the TV. Not sure about trying it out in your house, but towards the rest I think it evens out just with the cost of electricity in the US against the cost of it in Viet Nam, if any of you have different figures for electric bills, by all means please let me know, I think I was pretty generous on what I quoted, and I know during the summer when I wasnt working and first moved here our most expensive electric bill was $45 and trust me when I say the AC was on amost 24/7 as I was NOT used to the heat. I also know that when I was in Indiana my electric bills during the summer were about $150 a month and then in the winter it was on cold months close to $400 with an average of about $325 a month, I never had an electric bill under $100 a month for 2 consecutive months in the US, in the spring maybe once in a while it was really close to $100.

But again it is all personal opinion on what is right for any person, some people love it here, and some hate it. The traffic sucks, but if any of you have been in a big city during rush hour it can get pretty bad as well there. Regardless of your preferences and if the TV does cost $200 more the savings on electricity alone make up the cost, then there is gas prices, I was spending $200-$250 a month in gas for my truck, WE spend about $20 a month, we each go through one tank of gas each week ($2.50) then lets figure insurance, most people if they have just liability pay what $65 a month? Yeah less traffic, American dream, (arguably better health care but here international hospitals seem very effecient and good) and there are many other positives about the US, but honestly it is all a persons opnion, if you have good experiences in Viet Nam then you will love it here, if you have had bad then you will hate it. Having a great job in the US and doing it for 9 years was great for me, and I loved having the big yard, raising dogs and everything that goes along with it, and I do miss some things, but I would not give up what I have here because FOR ME it is a better choice living here rather than the US
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-04-28 09:38:00
VietnamCould I live on USD$20,000 per year in HCMC?

If you compare apples to apples tv's in vn cost more.



Not really, they have TCL which is cheaper than the cheap sets in America, and the Sony and Samsung tv's are very close in price, but regardless if they are a bit more in Vietnam or not, the cost of living and electricity in 1 years time will pay the difference 10 fold. TCL 50" at TET time was 10 million, about $500 usd, can you find a 50" flat screen in the US for $500, maybe on black friday you could find one that cheap, but not every day, currently off tet prices they are 13 million, which is about $600 because of the new Dong rate still once again comparable to us prices
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-04-27 19:40:00
VietnamCould I live on USD$20,000 per year in HCMC?

agreed with DQ if you're still able to earn an income and work, why would you want to move to vietnam? and unless you have a big 500k mansion secluded somewhere and away from the city living in luxury with multiple helpers(which i wouldn't want anyway)...it's so chaotic and lawless that you may be in constant danger and not even know it.

as a matter of fact before i filed the K1 my SO said why couldn't we just buy a house in saigon and live there instead of moving to the US...i told her are you crazy the opportunity and life is in the USA, not here.

i would love to take a job over there earning a US salary for maybe 6mos-1yr...but i'll eventually get sick of that life and the unbearable heat and would yearn to go back to america with all the things we take for granted. when i'm older maybe i'll retire to a farm away from the city raising cattles and chickens and grow rice (provided there's working toilet, running water, electricity, high speed internet, a/c, flat screen tv, etc etc :devil: )



Not to burst your bubble, but everyone is different, there are quite a few of us living here that are of working age, and we make more than we would in America as teachers. Some even own their own shops selling things and they also make more money than they do in the US. I am not going to say I am making over 50K a year in Vietnam, but the cost of living is so much less it is like I am making 75K a year AFTER TAX. Is it like this for everyone, probably not, but I have the big flat screen, the AC, the high speed internet, the running water and many many other things. Of course TB is a risk, that I would not be taking in America as it is very rare there, but when I went to the hospital because of an ear ache and all they did was check my blood pressure look in my ear and write a script, then hand me a $350 bill, paying a few hundred for TB treatment is still way cheaper than anything that would happen in the US. My medication for BP was over $300 for a 3 month supply, I can get the same thing here for $30 for 3 months. In the US you might not have to worry about TB, but you do have to worry about being shot and killed depending on what city you live in, every country has its bad sides, and every country has its good sides, but living in Viet Nam today for many people is much nicer than living in the US, you can live here for $10,000 a year and pay rent doing so, if you buy an apartment (foreigners still cannot buy a house, only an apartment) then you can live very comfortably for $5000 a year if you dont have a house/rent payment, try doing that in the US. Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-04-27 08:53:00
VietnamCould I live on USD$20,000 per year in HCMC?
Depending on where you want to live you can live easily on $1000 a month. Houses/apartments range from 200 to 800 per month, electricity, water, cable and internet cost less than 100 a month, then if you eat out all the time and dont eat at 5 star places you can get a big meal for you and the wife less than $10. We usually spend about 6 million a month after bills on all our food eating out, and other expenses which is less than $300 a month. Our total bills per month are less than $650 per month, so if you can make $20,000 a year you should be able to save over $10,000 a year
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-04-25 05:44:00
Vietnamwife wants to make tacos in vietnam

Wow vietnam taco!! I am an ammature chef and that is a great idea. All you need is beef, take it home and ground the hell outta it. There are peppers and tomatoes everywhere to make salsa. I dont know how to make hard tacos but with flour you can make soft taco.

Last time i was there and found some flour so i made pancakes. No butter so i used a bit of pig fat. No syrup so i put sugar and sprinkled powered sugar. Haha..now my aunt sells it on here street cart. Next time i go imma bring a tub of syurp. And some fruit seeds like avacados and err dont know what friut will survive the humid south uhh cherries?



mix the flour (corn for corn tortilla, or wheat for flour tortilla) with some water, get a dough, work your dough for a while, then roll it out thin, and bake it or fry it until it gets hard, there is your hard taco you just have to put it into the form, and while it cooks it will start to get hard still but it is flexable this is when you would start to fold it for the form. They have butter in any big market, and at many western shops you can even find the syrup, and they even have pancake mix at the western shops
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-17 06:36:00
Vietnamwife wants to make tacos in vietnam

hi everyone,
my wife wants to make tacos an she wanted to know if anyone here knows of a place in hcmc or some where she can get taco shells and seasoning? i told her i doubt it but im asking thanks



Make them, it is easy to do, but if you really want to buy, go to Vege's in District 7. The seasonings are only peppers and tomatoes, easy enough to make on your own. Send her a cookbook that tells how to make Salsa, it says you need Cummin, but you dont have to I make fresh salsa here all the time, Taco seasoning is a bit different, but for HCMC no one would complain, and the tortillas all you need is corn flour and some water, she can even make her own corn flour if she really wanted to, just dry out corn then grind it into a powder.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-15 06:05:00
VietnamIs there anything we can do now to prevent just in case out case get send back to USCIS?

Jim,

How much did you pay for Mr. Nam's service?



I would ask Sayhaorbust about Mr. Nam. He is currently helping his fiancee with the interview prep, and when she was here he had her all stressed out and was in my opinion quite rude with her. But as I said Rich can tell you his opinion on the matter so that you can get multiple view points on Mr. Nam.

Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-02 00:27:00
VietnamIs there anything we can do now to prevent just in case out case get send back to USCIS?
Sont worry about the little things, what is done is done. If you are already affraid that you will be denied, then you will pass this feeling to your loved one, which will lead to more stress, and possibly a bad interview. Quit looking at all our cases and assuming that yours will be denied. Each case is different, and every CO is different. To answer your question, NO if they deny your visa there is basically nothing you can do to keep it at HCMC, unless...... you happen to be able to get through to the visa section cheif and he/she actually listens to your plea and then looks at your petition and feels that it warrants a further review. Once it is denied, it almost always goes back.

Jerome and Binh
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2010-12-30 19:59:00
VietnamHOW LONG TO GET DECISION AFTER 129 F MAILED
It is all luck of the draw, you either have a convincing interview or you dont, you either have a nice CO or you don't. The better prepared you are the better chances you have, but one can also argue that if you come too prepared it can look staged as well. If there was a sure fire way to get a pink they would have to change it because of the fraud. The saddest part is those that are legit sometimes get denied and ran through the ringer while others that are fraudulent slip right through without any troubles. But I honestly feel it is most to do with the interview and the CO.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-18 06:32:00
Vietnamflirting= harmless?
As a former manager flirting is VERY harmful and it can and usually does cost people their jobs PERIOD. If you think it is harmless flirting and this person is uncomfortable it is not flirting it is now sexual harassment and even though it did not have that intention now you are facing a complaint one that could cost your company thousands and thousands of dollars so usually they will terminate your position to play it safe. Also if the person has real interest in you and you are simply flirting to flirt with no real desire, you can cause trouble by rejecting the person causing them to lose face and look the fool for being rejected and then they can turn it around on you claiming you were in the wrong, or what if the woman is in a position of losing her job, you could become the scape goat that she throws under the bus to make sure they dont let her go, because if she/he screams foul before they get fired they can also say they were terminated because of the complaint, once again costing the company thousands of dollars. Make your own mind up, but the possible outcomes in a sue happy high unemployement America to me would have me terrified of flirting with any woman I worked with.

Edited by jeromebinh, 20 May 2011 - 07:47 AM.

jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-20 07:47:00
VietnamAny Westerners living in Saigon right now?

what up with ps3 anyway, is there anythings a ps3 can do that a gaming pc can not do? may be i should drive up to my lilbrother's apartment and borrow his ps3 and see for my self .


If you like first person shooter games or any multi player games the PS3 is much better, they are designed to play games with good video and on a bigger screen with better resolution. I prefer first person shooters with online play, I dont usually play missions, just like going into battles with online friends.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-21 07:05:00
VietnamAny Westerners living in Saigon right now?

That's strange about th PS3. Vietnam and all of SE Asia, Japan, Hong Kong is supposed to be Region A, same as the USA.



That is what I thought and mine came from Japan but my DVD movies I brought from the US both the original and copies would not play due to a region error, but all of the dvd's from the local stores played no problem
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-20 20:03:00
VietnamAny Westerners living in Saigon right now?
Here is the cut and dry about it. There are MANY foreigners here in Vietnam that speak English, I truly recomend not trusting anyone since how they might stab you in the back, but this is everywhere. They have PS3 here for about 9 million, and you need to understand that they are regioned so if you are bringing blue ray movies then I would strongly suggest you get on ebay before you come and order a replacement blue ray drive for one that is multi region, this way you can watch your movies. I just bought a PS3 and the network is still down here in Vietnam, and NONE of my DVD's would play because it was the wrong region, but all of the new movies I have bought here play just fine. $800 a month is easy if you teach, most jobs with only part time hours you can make over $1000 a month but usually evening hours, some jobs you can find morning hours but they are hard since they are coveted. If you want any of the COD games, buy them in the US, I can only find COD modern Warfare 2 I have been looking and looking for Black Ops and will probably have to spring for one on ebay and then wait for it to arrive, but I wont do that until after the network is back up, which it should be by the end of this month. Any other specific questions PM me and I will help if I know the answers. Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-20 07:28:00
VietnamOrange County authorities cracking down on Vietnamese cafes

In Houston there are lots and lots and lots of Cafes popping in biz lately. I guess lots of ladies figuring instead of hard working at McD's, or Home Depot, whatever, they might as well "take advantage" of their "assets". Lots of folks where I work often invite me to join them to pay visits to these "cafes" after work, especially on the weekends and/or Fridays evening.

I told them "Sure, who wouldn't wanna some fun? But if I see one of my daughters or my wife working in there dressing up like that, do you think I still enjoy my cup of java?".

Their response? "Do I care? As long as they're not my wife, daughter, not my prob!"

I guess it's the same feeling for prostitution as well.


So for those folks who think it's no harm, no foul, read the above story and reevaluate your moral meter.


My best friends wife is a stripper in the states. He clearly doesn't mind and his own words is your money is going to pay my bills. The reason I know he doesn't mind is when I was with him he took me to a strip club and told me there was a really hot dancer he knew I would want to watch, so I went, low and behold it was his girlfriend (now wife) I was totally shocked and couldn't watch, the entire time he is laughing his butt off. Well after her show she came around and didn't sit on his lap she sat on mine and was talking with both of us, needless to say my night was very awkward and they had the time of their lives seeing how freaked out I was. The main point is even if it is your wife, do you trust her, it is is really prostitution going on then your wife doesn't have to work there, or your daughter, I would never want my daughter to work in that situation, but if she was 18 then it would be her choice not mine. I do agree that prostitution should be legal and then it would help stop the slave trade, and help stop on crimes as well. After all prostitution is the worlds oldest constant profession.

Besides Americans have a fetish, and that is served by slender Asian women dressed very skimpily, this is life the police and politicians who have the fat white wives are just mad they don't have the hot Asian wife like most of us do
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-05-26 20:12:00
Vietnamfastest way to obtain travel visa

I payed for Visa on Arrival and the manager for UA in Houston got into it. She told me that copies or fax is not valid and I needed the original. That was money wasted on them. I will never fly United Airlines. That day I ordered my visa stamp for next day delivery and it cost 150 dollars.
I am all upset. They kept my sticker and did not stamp anything in HCMC customs. They did not even want to look at my little page that I filled out at the last minute.



Someone lied to you, everytime I have done the VIsa on Arival (3 TIMES) I only had a scanned invitation letter with my name on it. I printed this letter out and walked through the airports in the United States showing this and then when I landed in HCMC I used this same PRINTED NON ORIGINAL invitation letter walked up to the immigration window, handed it to them with my passport, filled out a form, and then handed them $25 for the single 30 day visa and $50 for the 90 day multiple entry visa and received a visa in my passport with NO troubles at ANY airport and at VIETNAM CUSTOMS. I think someone was trying to get more money from you and if you paid $150 then they got what they wanted.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-07 21:03:00
Vietnamfastest way to obtain travel visa

I'm going to try visa on arrival on my next trip. Which visa processing website did you use? Thanks.



http://www.vietnamvisaexpress.com/

This is the one I used with no problems. Safe and reliable. Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-07 20:58:00
Vietnamfastest way to obtain travel visa

My travel agency in Little Saigon sends a photocopy of my passport to the VN consulate to get the visa, so my passport doesn't have to risk being lost in the mail. But VN immigration keeps the single entry visas. I used to take a c=photocopy of the visa in VN but now I pay extra for the multi entry visa just so I can keep it.

You can get visa on arrival but after the long flight and the layover etc, I don't really want to spend an extra half hour/45mins waiting for the visa knowing that my SO is just outside the gate.

So if you have a couple of weeks before your trip, get the visa through the travel agency or consulate since it takes around a week. If you are leaving in a couple of days, then visa on arrival is your best bet, but you'll have to wait at the airport.



The wait is negated, since you have to fight for all of your luggage and then you have to wait for the luggage to even get put on the belts. When I do the visa on arrival by the time I get done all the bags are on the belt and many of the people have already got theirs so the line is not nearly as thick and I usually get out a bit quicker because I dont have to sort through all those bags looking for mine. Truly not like I am the last one out the door, my first trip I landed at midnight and got out at 1:15 am, this was with visa in hand, the second I arrived at midnight and was out before 1 am, and the same on the others. So honestly filling out the paper is not that bad and the wait is negated by the wait for your luggage. Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-03 20:47:00
Vietnamfastest way to obtain travel visa

So, with Visa on arrival, do you actually get stamps in your passport? I've only gotten my visas through San Francisco, which are paper and not affixed to my passport. No problem with the multi entry cause I can keep them--but the single entry visas are kept on exit. I'd like to keep proof of entry without necessarily having to pay for a multi-entry.



Yes it looks like you sent your passport in, they take it from you at the gate while you fill out the form and they actually put a visa in your passport just like any visa you would send off for, then when you go through the gate they stamp it just like normal, it doesnt even say anything different. Simple and painless, and if you want the multiple entry it is $50 and 3 month visa, I got that when I arrived because I was planning on staying here and didnt know how long the marrige thing and visa exemption would take, not to mention any trips we might have went on. Yeah these are fixed in your passport, and you keep them as such, no worries either way you want to go, $25 for a 30 day single entry, and $50 for a 90 day multiple
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-03 20:42:00
Vietnamfastest way to obtain travel visa

what's the fastest way i can obtain a travel visa to vietnam?



Visa on arrival to Vietnam is the fastest, just do a search online for vietnam visa on arrival. You will need to get 2 passport sized and style photos prior to leaving, then you will print off the invitation letter the service emails you and check your name, this usually takes 2 days depending on the weekend, use this paper when you go to the airport, and when you arrive you just fill out a card hand them $25 USD and the photos and your passport, takes about 30 minutes when you arrive, depending on the line, as little as 15 minutes and as many as 45, they stamp your passport with the new visa inside and you are in. I did this 3 times only problem I had was the second time they had my name wrong, but I emailed and it was fixed the next day.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-02 20:00:00
Vietnamcigarettes from vietnam

my wife wants to send me some cigarettes but i told her i dont know how she can but then i remembered at my old job there was a vietnamese man there sold vn cigarettes all the time. Is it ok for her to send me some for my own personal use or does anyone know how the guy i worked with was getting them here? she asked the post office and they said she can mail them but they dont know if i will get them
Thanks


My wefe used to send me two cartons of cigarettes every few weeks, this was for my mother she sent about 10 in total. She will have to make sure they ave Vietnamese not American to send them out of the country. As long as she is only sending 2 at a time there should not be any problem as with my case. IF she sends tons then you might have to pay import tax in the US, but as I said my wife used to send them without any problems
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-17 01:21:00
VietnamUSC Marrying fiancee in Vietnam

1. Start to finish, Mid July-Mid November

2. Get familiar with the apostille process in your State. The bureaucracy is not just in Vietnam. For each document provided, you need a notarized copy, an apostille packet, and a Vietnam consulate packet before you go to Vietnam to file.

3. In my case I needed a: certified copy of my divorce decree from my county clerk, a "no marriage records" document from my State Vital Statistics office, both of those documents needed apostilles, then they were both sent to the VN consulate in San Francisco and sent back to me with the Consulate stamp on them. Then I took them to Vietnam.

4. We first went to the marriage registration office in HCMC and tried to do it ourselves, but graft was rampant and we didn't want to deal with it, so we hired a VN attorney for 200usd who took care of everything for us and got us our marriage certificate in 4 months. The best 200 I ever spent because while she may have had to pay money to someone, I never heard about it and because it would have had to come from her fee, I'm sure she didn't spend any more than it must take regardless. Before we hired the attorney we were getting the runaround, do this, do that, come back tomorrow, etc. It was very stressful on our new marriage so it was a blessing to hand it over to someone else to deal with, for such a bargain price.

Good luck,

R



Mine didnt require any apposiles, I did have to go to the US embassy and sign an affadavit, but everything else was just notorized when I got it done, and everything needed to be translated as well
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-19 18:49:00
VietnamUSC Marrying fiancee in Vietnam

Hello!

Can someone share their experience with me?
I heard USC marrying in Vietnam is a very complex process from a bureaucratic perspective.

Below are some questions I have:

1. How long did it take?
2. What can be done ahead of time to expedite the process
3. What kind of evidence did you produce indicating you were single? How did you obtain it?
4,. What pitfalls can I avoid?

Any information would greatly be appreciated


It takes about a month, it is a pain in the #######, but there are services that will help and speed the process up they are about $300. I know a man from England who tried to marry a woman from Vietnam about 8 months ago and they were denied! His fiancee lived in the countryside not HCMC and I guess they are much more particular, he said everything went well at the wedding interview but they denied their petition. After hearing that, I would be livid, but what can you do it is Vietnam.

As far as expedite the process, get all your information filled out prior to your arrival, then when you arrive try to arrive in the morning and go to the hospital right away, pay extra and you will have to only answer a few questions for your sanity test and they will get you the results back asap (a few hours later that day) Also hire the service, this way they can check everything over and make sure everything is right, also she will need to get alot of things and this service as I said will make sure everything is good to go before you arrive, then all you need to do is take the mental exam and then file, then the marriage interview.

Hope this helps
Jerome and Binh
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-06-19 18:47:00
VietnamEngagement ceremony pictures?
Most new traditional style engagement ceremonies do include the red gift boxes, but in the past this was part of the wedding ceremony and not part of the engagement ceremony. I know links do show that it is part of the engagement ceremony but my main point is that in years past this was part of the wedding ceremony and not part of the engagement party. With the link you showed and many more links that I am sure you will show the gifts are considered a dowry. These decisions are all made prior to the engagement ceremony when they actually announce the day to everyone, but as I said in the older times the red boxes with gifts were considered part of the wedding party, not the engagement party, and there are also links that will show this as well.


http://vietnam-beaut...g-ceremony.html

http://www.vietnambu...aid=869&pgid=26

http://members.optus...amese/index.htm

Note the red boxes at the WEDDING Ceremony Also on the third link it does not have photos but it also talks about the gifts and recieving the bride.
Jerome

Edited by jeromebinh, 01 January 2011 - 11:42 PM.

jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-01 23:39:00
VietnamEngagement ceremony pictures?

With all due respect to your wife, I disagree. The link I gave is specifically about engagement ceremonies and not wedding ceremonies, and very much resembles what we did. If you wish, I can provide a dozen or more links to similar articles describing similar events. I attended two more engagement ceremonies with my wife on subsequent trips to Vietnam. Aside from the fact that those were actually held in the future bride's home, they were also very similar to ours.

As Dau Que said, an engagement in Vietnam is planned well in advance. Perhaps what your wife is describing is the meeting between the families where the arrangements are made. In addition, many Vietnamese couples have the engagement and wedding ceremonies on the same day, rather than two separate events. If this is common where your wife is from then that may explain why she believes it was a wedding ceremony rather than only an engagement ceremony.

I also had a long talk with the Su Thuc a couple of days before the ceremony. He explained a lot to me about the commitments implied by the engagement ceremony, and it was very clear we were talking about engagement only and not marriage. The signs and banners around the restaurant at the party also clearly said "Le Dinh Hon", which means "Engagement".



Jim, do you know what the boxes symbolize? This is the dowry that the groom pays for the bride to be's parents, this is why it is considered part of the "Wedding ceremony" Many people do in fact do this with the engagement party also, but the actual meaning what I posted earlier is that it is actually for the wedding ceremony part, and not actually part of the engagement ceremony, UNLESS you are having them on the same day which also many people do in fact do, but to be politically correct, when you are giving gifts this is actually part of a WEDDING ceremony, and NOT an engagement ceremony, when the family gets together to meet when circumstances allow for it, the engagement ceremony is actually when they do start to do in-depth detailed planning of the wedding, and where the bride and groom will live after the wedding. You can disagree with me all you want on this subject, but I have not only asked my wife, but also my wife’s mother, her brother, the land lord where we live, as well as the neighbors on both sides, AND the 96 year old woman across the alley.

Not lying on who I asked either since this is a very important part of a relationship in Vietnam, I want people that might not be so sure of what is actually going on to know. I know at our wedding/engagement party I had no clue what was going on, I was just a party doing what was asked. Since then I have done research since many people here argue NOT to have a wedding ceremony, because many say that it will hurt you at the consulate. What I have found out through my research is that most people are actually doing an untypical wedding ceremony. Many people that have done the "Engagement Party" have brought gifts in the fancy red boxes, this is part of the wedding ceremony, and usually this is where the wedding ceremony and the engagement party similarities stop. Most people do not go to the alter and pray to the ancestors. One might argue that the culture has changed and the red boxes are now more considered to be part of an engagement party, but the fact is that in the past they were used as part of a wedding ceremony and NOT an engagement party. Hence at the first family meeting the dowry is decided, and then at the wedding ceremony the groom knows how many of those red boxes he must bring and what will be inside each of them.<BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">




Jerome and Binh


jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-01 23:23:00
VietnamEngagement ceremony pictures?

Google "Vietnamese engagement ceremony". Here's an example of what you'll get:

http://www.tuvy.com/...nt_ceremony.htm

The ceremony is unscripted, but it does follow a general pattern according to VN tradition. The girl usually wears a traditional Ao Dai. The boy may wear a traditional Ao Dai or other formal attire. See my avatar - that's what me and my wife wore at our engagement ceremony. The ceremony often begins with a procession by the groom's family to the bride's home carrying gifts - usually various specific kinds of food in fancy red boxes and covered with fancy red cloth.

My wife didn't want the ceremony at her mother's home in the village. Her ex-husband is a drunk, and he lives only a block away from her mother. There's no way we could have done this in the village without her ex-husband finding out and crashing the ceremony. Instead, we had the ceremony at the Buddhist temple where my wife prayed and studied. Here's the whole gang after the ceremony:

Posted Image

The ceremony is usually held in the morning. The party is a separate event, held in the afternoon. While there may be only a handful of people at the ceremony - mostly close family - there will often be two or three hundred at the party. The bride usually wears a wedding gown, and the groom usually wears a tux.

The consular office will want to see that you've had both - the ceremony and the party. They'll be interested in who attended the ceremony - they prefer to see some members of both families there. They'll also be interested in how many people attended the party - they prefer to see at least one or two hundred.

There's no way a CO would confuse an engagement party for a wedding party. If they see the words "Le Dinh Hon" written on anything then they'll know it was an engagement party.


Jim, I know that you clearly wanted to have an engagement party, and NOT a wedding ceremony if I am not mistaken by your previous posts months back. If you did what I have highlighted above then according to my wife, you did a WEDDING ceremony, and not a typical engagement ceremony. This according to BInh is what goes along with the wedding ceremony. This is also what we did with my wedding ceremony. A traditional engagement ceremony according to my wife is just the familys getting together and meeting with a dinner, and the bride to be's family does the cooking or paying for a dinner at a restaraunt.

Jerome

Edited by jeromebinh, 01 January 2011 - 05:35 AM.

jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-01 05:33:00
VietnamEngagement ceremony pictures?
Many people say that you must have an Engagement party, and not a Wedding ceremony. The facts are simple, if you do not sign paperwork then you are NOT married. Many have done the entire wedding ceremony and never signed any documents and have never had any problems. I have also NEVER heard of anyone who did the wedding ceremony while filing for a K1 visa get denied because they showed photos of what appeared to be a wedding ceremony thus making them unable to legally apply for the K1 visa. I personally know a CO at the HCMC consulate, and he clearly understands the difference and that difference is SIGNING DOCUMENTS.

I know there are many people that will try to tell you the traditional way that each party works, and the differences, but what the CO is looking for in photos is how many people were there, and if you were dressed up POINT BLANK, along with of course your name somewhere showing that it was in fact YOUR engagement ceremony, and that you did not just go to someones wedding to stage photos (which by the way my friend said he has seen before! They submitted photos of their engagement party, and in one of the photos you could clearly see that it was not their names and the date was even different!).

Jerome and Binh
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-01 05:27:00
VietnamThings to do while in Vietnam

just saw this story on yahoo news. if you go, take pics for us!


When I get there I will be sure to take many photos, you can count on that!:thumbs: :thumbs:
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-04 18:53:00
VietnamThings to do while in Vietnam
Check out this link from Yahoo. http://news.yahoo.co...aves-in-vietnam Back in the states I used to love to go caving, and now they say that in Vietnam they have some of the largest unexplored caves in the world. Things like this to me are just cool, so next time you are here in central Vietnam, instead of just going to the war memorials or the other regular tourist attractions, you might check out this cave, as I am sure it wont be long before it is set up for tourism.

Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-03 18:50:00
VietnamVietnamese women are bossy
My wife is the same way, she always asks what I want, then she does what she wants, or she acts like she never heard what I said. I do get to eat and do some things that I want, but for the most part she is the boss, if I try to be the boss I am, but I have to deal with her later on :help: But this is what makes her who she is, and she is still the same woman I fell in love with years ago.
Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2010-12-25 03:42:00
VietnamApproved !!!!!!!!!
Not to burst your bubble, but as others have said, the easy part is over, and if you were sweating bullets then, get ready to curl up into a ball and cry for help. This process is something that you can't rush, since there is nothing we can do. Once you lick the stamp and put it in the mail box, there is nothing left we can do until you get packet 3, and then once you call the consulate and say everything is ready and they set up an interview, once again you guessed it, there is nothing we can do. We are the puppets, and they pull all the strings, so be ready to be danced around on stage for a while.

Good luck Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2010-12-31 21:57:00
VietnamCan Additional Info. be put in Packet 3
It is your packet, you can put anything you want in it. This does not mean they will look at it, my friend has tole me numerous times they are not obligated to look at anything they do not deem necessary, or anything they have not requested. I thought that was bull because if we feel it is important then they should have to look at it, but they dont (they are god...er the devil I mean :devil: )

ON a similar subject, when at the interview and when they request additional evidence... I asked him why is it that when they ask for some information such as in my case and many others why did they refuse to look at it when the benificiary had it with them. He stated because they gave a notice requesting it, and I said again that she had it at the interview already, and his reply was if they do not have EVERYTHING they ask for then they do not have to accept any of it because it is not all there. They are over worked, and to spend extra time looking at some things but not everything they wanted has been deemed a waste of time since all the required evidence is not there in theory they would still not be able to make a decision and they are to move to the next application once they feel no decision can be made at that time.

Basically we can do what we want when it comes to what evidences we submit, but they are still the ones making the decision, and if we submit something that they feel is not important they are not obligated to look at it, and they will have the final say on what to or not to look at.

Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-08 21:09:00
Vietnamfather in law advice
If you want to know my opinion it is simple. Do you love your wife? I already know your answer. So this is my advice, ignore it, she is used to it. If you keep confronting him and talking to her about it the situation will keep getting worse, once she is in USA then you are done with it. Also as others have mentioned, it is not good to argue. There might be a reason, maybe he is affraid once she is gone then he will have no one. Many reasons people act strange, and they are always usually because they themselves are scared about something. Seriously, you are in america, and she is here, there is nothing you can really do, but as another post said, when you send money, send it to her father, or send him a little here and there. It is customary for family in USA to send money back and help the family. In any situation, the most important thing is your love for your wife, dont add to her stress by arguing with her father. I am not siding with him, but seriously she IS living under his roof, and with the culture here, if she does something that he feels is a disgrace, it DOES affect him. Good luck, and try to not add to any stress.

Jerome and Binh
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-09 05:57:00
Vietnamsome advice
A new interview means that NEW INTERVIEW. If they decide to take it as a new interview, or if a different CO interviews her this time they WILL want to see ALL the same things. I dont care if it was a third, or fourth interview, bring everything in again, and let them have it all over again. Think of it like this.....


This is your life, would you play russian roulette with it??? You have waited over a year, and you would rather leave things at home and risk waiting another 30 days, or a year to get the Vsa????


Do you see my point here? To me this is a no brainer question, and I would always say to bring all your things back to the second interview. She might just haul them in there and there might be a pink waiting, who knows, but I would rather haul those things around one more time than have to go home, bring them back, and wait until THEY feel they have time to look at them.

Jerome :bonk:
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-13 05:25:00
Vietnamk-1 horror story

What's the punch line? Don't marry a Viet Kieu? America is a bad place?

Also, the 'horror' part of your horror story is lacking (though I do find the thought of instant noodles to be a little terrifying). Besides the instant noodles and keeping her 'practically' locked up, what did he do or force her to do? Did he beat her senseless everyday? Subject her to sexual abuse? Make her watch daytime TV? What? When she escaped, why didn't she go to the cops? How, exactly, did she 'make her way' back to HCM? It's not like you have to sneak out of the United States.

I'm sorry to be so cynical, but there were a rash of similar stories making their way around Cuba in the late 60's and early 70's in an effort to stop the flow of people trying to escape. I've also heard there were similar stories making the rounds in the Soviet Union and China, and stories like this are broadcast on state TV in North Korea. This seems to be a common part of the communist propaganda machine.



Jim the sad thing is that there are thousands of such cases like this that REALLY do happen. This is why they do a criminal background check now on all petitioners, making sure to look for any types of spousal abuse, battery, or sexual crimes.

This is truly such a wide spread thing that CSI even made a episode about it. Some men in America want the pretty little trophy wife, and they have put locks on the fridge, put double keyed locks on the doors leading outside, and set the alarm when they leave. They also limit the contact with the outside world their wife has. They want to make sure she stays skinny, and never leaves.

I also agree that there is information lacking, if she was locked up and escaped, how did she get the money for a plane ticket??? But regardless of the details that are missing people need to judge for themselves what is real and what is not. You need to know who you are involved with, and realize that some people are not who they seem. There are many messed up people in the world willing to take advantage of a woman, or a man at any turn. Be safe and know your partner, and always have an out!

Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-07 19:48:00
VietnamWrong address of X wife

On my time line and 10 years list of residency, I was told by my Lawyer to include my x wifes address and telephone number. I have been divorced over 7 years and haven't spoke or really knew her where abouts, so i did a white book search on the internet and found her address. Some how I must of put it down wrong because the lawyer caught it. Heres the problem,the original document was notarized and is in his posession. I emailed him the correct address. My fiances interview is Jan 18th. He made it sound that he can fix but i don't know how when I wont be able to give another notarized letter before the interview.

My question is how is important is that address? I answered to the best of my knowlege the information about residency, I'm not even sure if the x wife's address is current. Do you think this could be a big Red flag or blue slip comming my way?

How much English do you think her interview could be in? She's khmay Krom so her Vietnamese is her second language and her pronunciation of English is not that well. Why no khmay translater's in HCM?



Rich, If they use white out to "fix" the problem, it will throw up red flags, if Nam fixes one but not the other it will look different possibly causing red flags. If it was me I would try to get another one notorized and sent ASAP, that OR leave the mistake and not even mention it, and if asked then tell them that she must have moved and that was the last known address you had from her which is not a lie since you did look in the phone book and that is what you came up with.

The reason for no Khmay Krom translators is because this is Vietnam, and people here are expected to speak Vietnamese. There might be Khmay translators in HCMC, but the embassy would not hire them in hopes of someone needing them at the interview, however if hundreds of Khmay Krom started going for interviews at HCMC they MIGHT and I stress might hire one, but look at the state of the American econoomy. It would be like having a Spanish translator on hand in HCMC incase a Mexican came to Vietnam then tried to immigrate from here. It might happen, just not on a regular enough basis to justify the costs.

Jerome

BTW how is Sayha doing, she has never came back by to say hello or anything, hopefully her interview prep is going well and Nam has stopped being so rude with her
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2011-01-11 18:37:00
VietnamBest way to learn English (for now)
If anyone is serious about helping their loved one learn english and they are computer savy, pm me, I have over 80 gig of learning software some of the programs I have cost over $200 usd, many for beginner up to more advanced, grammar, pictionary, game based, some have speech recognition the whole nine yards.
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2010-12-21 20:04:00
VietnamBest way to learn English (for now)

Here are some of the websites I use.

http://www.manythings.org/daily/

http://www.manythings.org/

http://iteslj.org/questions/

This textbook is one of the best for learning American English, in my opinion. They sell it at Fahasa Bookstore.

http://www.amazon.co...JSW3J72V6TNR4AF



Funny that you like that Oxford Picture Dictionary, that is one of the programs I have on file and installed on Sayha's computer while she was up here. It is a great program, we might have to meet up and you can see some of my files sometime. I have like 90 gig or more worth of english learning software
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2010-12-14 03:11:00
VietnamBest way to learn English (for now)

Hello guys,

Can you guys recommend some techniques to teach English? I am trying to teach my wife English. So far, she has used Rosetta Stone but she find it boring.



Not trying to sound rude, but if it is important to her even if it is boring she needs to stick with it point blank. I installed a few programs on Rich's Fiancee's computer when she stayed with us for 2 weeks, and it is working great for her. Boring as it may be, if she wants to go to america then she will need to learn english, and she will have to deal with it being boring, that or hire her a tutor, or send her to a language center, there are tons of them in HCMC, another option is www.hellochao.com I dont know much about this site, but if she goes there, she will hear my voice and Mark (MekongMark) as we both work there.

Yes you shouldnt have laughed at her I teach young children at V Star, and if you laugh at them, they loose confidence and desire to learn. No matter how bad it is, if she is trying that is WHAT matters. She just needs confidence, and this means you need to compliment her when she says something right, and NEVER laugh at her again. Also get her to start doing little words, hold up something in the webcam and tell her what it is, get a small box, and save the things she knows and quiz her on them, when she gets them all right, get new ones. Make it fun, and let her know she is doing good.

Jerome
jeromebinhMaleVietnam2010-12-12 23:30:00