biggish data

divorce rate/mena/couples

wow Olivia (F)

thanks for sharing your story.

It is very sad, domestic violence is a vicious cycle and it hurts all those involed. And the case of your school counselor scaring you with the things she said, is just like I said, when people hear of domestic violence they don't want to get involved. I think things have some what improved over the years, but its still hard. Its especially hard for women in your moms situation, maybe with no money or no college education to get a job to support her family, you feel trapped. That was one of the issues with me and when I finally left him I said to myself, I will never NEVER be financially dependant on a man again, and from there I returned to school for my degree.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-07-30 14:02:00

divorce rate/mena/couples

You are one of the brave ones Mandy. Stay strong and stay safe!

Thank you everyone

To Mandy

Everytime my biological mother tried to leave with us kids, my biological father would say he would find us and kill her. I heard it over and over again. Everytime we did leave, he did find out and he did beat her. So, whether she stayed she was beaten, whether she left she was found and beaten, and eventually in 1987 she was murdered by him in front of all 3 of us kids. Happens everywhere. No country or culture is exempt from such Domestic Violence.

OMG Tammy, I'm so sorry (F)

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-07-30 11:45:00

divorce rate/mena/couples

My ex is part MENA (he was born here in the US), his mother is American and his father was from Yemen. As a young child he use to watch his father beat his mother so severely to the point of putting her in the hospital. After we married he slowly began to show signs of abuse, and over time it did escalate to the point of him physically abusing me and threatening my life. Now I'm not saying he learned this from his father, as I firmly believe that a person is responsible for their own actions and they know the difference between right and wrong. But I have to agree I was much more fearful of him when I left. There were many of times I tried to leave him before and he would simply tell me that he would kill me if I did, and his own mother even said she feared for my life. So I stayed, but not so much because of fear for myself, but also fear for my family. I knew what he was capable of, and I feared he would harm them in some way to get to me. In addition to his violent behavior he was also an alcholic and I discovered he was using drugs. After many prayers he was caught stealing (3 dollars and a six pack of beer with a knife) and was charged with armed robbery. I took this as a sign that it was my chance to get out, and I did. I left him and filed for divorce while he was in jail. I have 2 children with him and he lost all parental rights to both of them. Over the years I have been able to keep track of him thru the internet and department of corrections, and I know he has been released, and I have heard thru the grapevine that he has been looking for me and wants to see his kids. After 10 years of being away from him, I still fear for my life, in his eyes not only did I leave but I also took his children away. I have spent the last decade some what living in hiding, my last name has since changed, I have changed both of my childrens names, my parents have moved, I have relocated across the country, and everything I do I have to constantly think of "will he be able to find me if I do this," and my life will always be like this.

Some people don't understand why battered women stay in relationships, and until you experience it you never can completely understand it. I think the biggest problem is that when someone hears of a woman being abused they simply don't want to get involved, this is seen as a private issue and its easier to turn the other way, and the law does not require us to be a good samaritan

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-07-30 09:40:00

MENA Thursday

Hello everyone, and happy Thursday..only 1 more day :dance:

Just got back from taking my friend and her kids on an airboat ride in the everglades. It was a lot of fun, but scared me to death at times because they go so fast lol. We seen many gators and the kids loved them.

Have a great day everyone!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-05 13:35:00

TGIF

Happy Friday all :dance:

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

My friend is going back home today, I had a nice visit with her, and my father just arrived in town so I will have more time to visit with him until he goes back home.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-06 09:31:00

Saturday

Hello Jeanne and Wonderful!!

I had a super busy day school shopping :wacko:

I LOVE warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream...yummoooooo

Have a good night everyone, only 1 more day and its back to work :crying:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-07 21:55:00

Saturday

Good morning MENA!!!

Whoo hooo its Saturday :dance:

Have a great weekend everyone. Its going to be another hot, muggy day here in SW Florida. This is the best time of the year...back to school shopping, kids go back to school in 2 weeks!! :dance:

Hopefully I get some time to rest this weekend too after a long week, my friend left yesterday and while I enjoyed visiting with her, her kids were wearing me out

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-07 08:20:00

Sunday

wow. That's a quick timeline. Best wishes for you.

Thanks, it would have been quicker had the case not sat @ NVC for 3 weeks!!

Good Luck to you too!!

Edited by mandyu1, 08 August 2010 - 07:31 PM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-08 19:31:00

Sunday

Happy Sunday everyone!!!

Where has everyone been lately?? :whistle:

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I survived the mall yesterday and I'm heading back out again today :bonk:

Have a great day all!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-08 11:55:00

Relaxing Sunday

Hello Jeanne!!

I just posted a Sunday thread because I didn't see one :whistle:

Maybe I should go back to bed hehe. Hopefully someone will delete the one I did.

The movie does look like it will be good, I will be watching :pop:

Have a great day everyone, time to get ready for the dreaded Monday

Edited by mandyu1, 08 August 2010 - 12:02 PM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-08 11:59:00

Monday

Good afternoon/evening everyone!!!

Wonderful I was waiting for someone to post a thread today too

Hope everyone is having a good Monday...I've had a hellish day and glad I'm on the east coast so my day's almost over!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-09 17:48:00

lady im 52 years old and i know the dam law and no police or dept of welware will tell anyone they are no age limit on leaving children alone everyone here my believe it if so they come here and try it and see what happens they will be put in jail and kids taken away for negilect i see it every day here women go out to bars or stay alnight with men and leave kids home alone ages 8 thru 16 and they get them took away and go to jail any one here ask an american what will happen u go off to another stae for weeks and leave kids home alone what if they choked or someone break in get real woman no woman do their kids like that no job worth that or a dam man so get real i live here for 53 years almost and i know no parent leaves their 14 yr old home for 3 weeks or months or any kids younger they have to be 17.get real woman anyone here call family services and ask call police see what they do if u left your kids home over night alone this really piss me off that u sit here and say they agree they can be left alone well u must really need a man bad to do that.

I don't care how old you are, and what part of "I WOULD NOT LEAVE MY CHILD HOME AT 14YRS OLD 24/7 FOR WEEKS" DONT U UNDERSTAND!!!!!!! And believe what you want to believe, I could care less, I know what I was told and I don't have to prove it to you or anyone else. And if you know the law so damn well and are so educated, why don't you stop talking so ignorant. I know who you are and you started problems on here about another woman. You think you know all about everyone and everything, when the truth is you know squat, so take your ignorant, old, low life self and stick what you think you know, up your a$$!!

also looks like u only met him one time before u filed for k1 u have to meet at least twice before u file for k1 visa within a 2 years of filing

ah no you don't, read the guidelines smart one!! And if I had to meet him twice why was it approved???

Edited by mandyu1, 11 August 2010 - 12:15 PM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-11 12:15:00

the state doent not allow children under 17 to stay alone over night by theirselves for weeks at a time no law will allow that and any women who would do that doesnt care what happens to their kids.mine is 16 and the state would take her for negilect so if anyone believe that about her well try it in usa and see what happens to u and your kids i have never left her home at night if neighbors new they call police cause its against the law in usa

First I wouldn't leave me 14 year old alone 24/7 for weeks, but I would leave her for a couple of days if I had no other choice. And as I stated, I called the Department of Family Services and explained the situation and asked specifically if I would be charged with neglect and the answer was no. I asked what the age requirement was for a child to be left alone, and was told by them and the police that there is no set age, its up to the parents (obviously I would not leave me 4 yr old alone at any time), but typical age for being home alone during the day is 10 and evening/overnight is 14. Maybe in the state you live there are laws and age requirements, but where I live there is not.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-11 11:53:00

I think it has to do with both the maturity of the child and the situation in which they will be left alone. I had to travel for work not long ago for a few days and almost had to split all of my kids up because I couldnt find someone to watch them all. I called the Florida Dept of Child Services and asked if I left my 14 yr old alone would I be charged with neglect. The answer, no, and the reason being because I know my child and I know she is very mature and responsible for her age, I was leaving her with money, she has a phone, there were several neighbors around that were checking in on her and she could go for help if there was an emergency, I live in a gated community with 24hr gate security and my home has an alarm system. But in the end I didn't because thankfully a friend watched them all, but if I had to I would have done it. Now I wouldn't leave her alone for 3 weeks during the night, I feel that is just too long. But she is old enough come home from school at 3pm and be alone until the evening. As for my 10 yr old, I wouldn't trust him alone for a long period of time. He is no where near as mature as my daughter was at that age, but again, he can and has come home from school alone and stayed by himself for a few hours and has been fine.

I also think that a child can be smart as a whip, but have no common sense and be immature, and they can also be dumb as a nail (academically) but have good street skills and knows right from wrong. I know my daughter is very mature, and some people reading may say, how mature can she be at 14, but she helps care for the little one, she sometimes does the grocery shopping for me, she helps clean, can cook, do laundry, and is CPR certified, and I don't force her to do these things, or refuse to do them for her, but she knows I need help sometimes and she steps in. She has always been this way beause ever since she was a young child I have forced her to grow up fast. But even though I feel she is as mature as she is, I would never leave her alone at this age for a long period of time to care for 2 other children along with herself.

As for my parents, my mother doesn't have a problem with it and said she would watch them, its my father that has the problem. And some of it I'm sure has to do with my ex and also his experiene with his step-father, but he has always been controlling like this. If he doesn't agree then fine, thats his opinion, but don't use my kids as a way to keep me from going just because he's not happy he can't stop me, and then say "you better not take the kids there," they are my children and if I want to take them I will take them. So that statement right there shows he just wants to have control over the situation. And Cleo, yes if I took them it would interfere with their school, so I dont plan on taking them, I was just going to tell him that i was considering it since I don't have a sitter.

And the problem is that all of my family lives far away, I have no one here, so my only options are to not go, turn to friends, find outside help, or search for another family memeber to fly out here and watch them, but I would never leave my kids in a situation I wasnt comfortable in or with someone I didnt trust.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-10 17:33:00

Hello Cleo and Babyblueangel!!

I know they are just worried about me, and I spoke with my mother this morning and although she is worried about me she would never try and use my kids as leverage so I wouldn't go. Its mainly my father, and he hates the fact that he cannot control me and tell me I can't go, so he thinks that if I don't have a sitter I'll stay home...just wait until I tell him I'm taking them with me

Maybe that will change his mind hehe

The first time I went to Egypt I didn't tell anyone but my kids and my friend where I was going, everyone thought I was in London for work, then my daughter told my father I was going to see the pyramids and he said, "there are no pyramids in London." :whistle:

haha

My mother supports my relationship and has spoken to my fiance and is very excited to meet him in person. My father doesn't say much to me, he spoke with him a few times and said he was nice and thats about it. My fathers has his reasons to be protective and skeptical, his step father used his mother to come here (he's an Arab Muslim as well) and mistreated my grandmother their whole marriage, so this is my fathers fear. But I know that once he's here and they get to know him they will love him just like family

Happy Ramadan everyone!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-10 13:52:00

Morning MsW!! Happy Birthday to Autumn!! Awesome name!

Gee Mandy, that's a tough situation to be in. Best of luck!

Thanks Jeanne. I have already talked with some people that have said they would help, now I just need to make a decision. I'm trying not to make any irrational decisions and think of all my options.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-10 10:29:00

Good morning!

Mornin' Mandy. How long do you plan on being away and how old are your children?

Morning Jeanne and Wonderful, and happy birthday to your daughter

Originally I was planning on going for 6-8 weeks, but things keep changing. I'm having surgery next month so I have to wait until after that and some recovery before I can go. So now I'm only planning on going for 3 weeks. My kids are 14, 10 and 4.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-10 09:35:00

Good Morning MENA!!! Well we made it through the dreaded Monday

Hope everyone has a great day, and try to stay cool!! I hear its scorching everywhere this week

I'm hoping my day is better than yesterday, I was depending on my mother to watch my kids when I go to Egypt next month, and my father called last night overreacting that I shouldn't go for so long. He claims I'm a bad parent for leaving my kids for a long period of time, and its not safe for me to be there for that long either (he watches too many movies)....in the end he said my mom will not be watching my kids. So now the hunt begins for a sitter :unsure:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-10 07:49:00

Wednesday

Hi all! Happy Hump Day & start of Ramadan!

I went to the store and bought a Ramadan lantern and have been working on cleaning the house.
I picked up dates and apricot juice for dh to break his fast with.
He showed me what the apricot juice is like where he comes from.
Then he showed me lots of eastern sweets online that they have during this time.
I think he wants me to learn to make them at home. I wouldn't mind it but I'm unsure about the ingredients and recipes.
Now he's with friends tonight breaking his fast and they are enjoying their time together.
Today was the first day fasting for our area.
Also it looks like were planning a trip for him to go visit his sister in Baltimore and the family there.

Where did you find a Ramadan lantern from? I have an Egyptian cook book and it has a lot of great recipes, but like you I'm unsure of the ingredients. I have tried to make some things and they did turn out ok

I also found a website online that sells a lot of dry spices (one's we dont usually see in everyday supermarkets) and have thought of buying from there. If you have any easy or great Egyptian recipes I would love if you would share them with me

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-12 07:26:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Wednesday

Hi MENA!! Hi Wonderful and Jackie!

Happy Ramadan to everyone, and HaPpY hUmP day!!

Hope everyone had a great day

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-11 18:44:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Still under AP .. its been 70 days until this moment ...

It has been 77 days for us and still nothing. It's a little too late to ask, but how was the consulate in Saudi Arabia? We almost did the interview there because my fiance was working there, but instead we decided he would terminate his contract and return to Egypt so I could be with him during the interview. We're now wishing we didn't do this because of all the problems lately in Cairo, we wonder if our luck would have been better in KSA.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-29 08:22:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

I replied to them but i think i will get an answer on Monday as they are closed seems like most of the week Friday Saturday and Sunday lol
My wife and I were discussing this situation we're seriously thinking of her moving to be with me in Egypt permanently as this process is taking more than a year now

yeah thats how government offices pretty much work over here, they show up on friday and try to look busy, and saturday & sunday they're closed LOL

I know when you look at how long this process takes it can be depressing. I do know that CR-1's tend to take a little longer than the K-1's and thats basically because its run through the NVC and the CRI had more advantages once you enter the states than the K1. I see you went through the California service center, I went through Vermont and we got lucky because at that time Vermont was running slowly behind California and they opened an office in Texas to assist in processing the petitions mailed to Vermont. We received our NOA2 in less than 3 months. But the way I look at it is, we are in the final stage. I see all these people who are just starting this journey, and complaining after 2 months of not getting a NOA2 and they really have no idea what they're in for, and I in no way envy them because they have a long road ahead of them. And I don't mean to sound insensitive or rude, but there are many ppl on here who have spouses/fiances who can come visit them on the visa waiver program. Although its costly to travel and takes a long time they do have more opportunities to see each other during this process, whereas people from the middle east (I'm not sure what other countries don't participate in the VWP) have no option, either the petitoner travels or they spend the time apart. Have you thought of transferring your case, is that an option?

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-24 12:48:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

You know, i emailed the consulate today and they said that i am in AP lol, i think they just have a form that they send to everyone, i don't think they read every email and reply to it
I found also that they give you general information, nothing specific about your case, is this the way they are or is it just because i have not had an interview yet, i am going insane here

what a bunch of idiots LOL I would reply back and ask, "how can I be in AP when I haven't had an interview yet?" LOL But their responses are pretty vague, I have better luck when I call them directly. I know for certain when I do that they are looking at my case because they give me my fiance's name.

When we went to my fiance's interview they were actually shocked to see us, they didn't have his name on the list to enter the embassy, we had to go print off the email with the interview date and time before we could go in. Once inside they were confused as to why we were there, we showed them the letter and could hear the supervisor yelling (or getting loud) with one of the ppl in the back asking her why she scheduled his interview when he never returned any of the documents...That just goes to show what kind of ppl they have working there!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-24 11:55:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Hey Mandy, i have seen some people get their visa after a week of their interview, i wonder why do they get it fast knowing that everyone from the Middle east goes to AP

Hey Samoray,

I think it all depends on the case and the CO. I know for spousal visas a lot of background checks are done at the NVC level, so that when they get the embassy maybe there is no need for additional ones. Whereas for K1 visas everything is done at the embassy. Part of our problem I think is that my fiance never returned packet 3 until the day of the interview (They mistakenly scheduled his interview without receiving his document) So they had to go through and process all his documents still.

Also, if an applicant has a "name hit" at the embassy or NVC they get sent to washington for further investigation. And it also depends on the education and background of the applicant, countries lived in or have family ties with. Its many things and basically up to the discretion of the CO to order these additional checks.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-23 14:03:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

WHAT IS AP?

Administrative Processing.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-22 16:56:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

I know each case is different, but I'm just trying to see how long cases have been in AP and when this poll is done if there is a "normal range." All who have been in AP can reply, but I'm mostly interested in MENA countries, especially Egypt.

Thanks

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-22 15:25:00

AP completed!!!

congrates!!!! :dance:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-04-17 09:29:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

AP @ New Delhi 2010

Hubby is on the phone seeing when/where he can pick it up!!

OMGGG that is sooo great, I'm soooo happy for you :dance:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-07-30 07:36:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

AP @ New Delhi 2010

Melody my heart really goes out to you (as it does to everyone in this AP mess) I really wish I had some words to say that could make you feel better but I don't. I'm sure you have your good and bad days, but try to keep yourself busy and stay strong, and remember this too shall pass. I agree with the other post that you should take pics of your dishes. My fiance is from Egypt and I am practicing on my kids as well hehe. And thanks for sharing the video from your wedding, it looked like a very beautiful wedding. You are in my prayers!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-07-19 08:23:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Thks for the reply manyu1 , however my embassy website does not have the tracking link maybe you should copy paste your embassy link to me I could check through it. Congrts again.

Thanks again. Here is the website for the Cairo embassy, but it only works for cases processed through Cairo, you're going through Nigeria.

http://egypt.usembas...r/ivstatus.html

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooow Mandy woooooooohooooooooo i am excited already for you lol, congratulations my friend keep us updated, i am sure this is the end of your long wait

This is really good news Mandy omg i am so happy damn i am so happy for you guys

Thanks Sam!!!! I pray that your AP will not take long either. Keep us posted.

Congratulations.... good luck with new life.

thank you!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-04-11 20:20:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Hello mandyu1, pls can you give me the link on how to check AP. On uscis. Website ? Am still in AP, Thanks

I checked the status through the Cairo embassy website, not USCIS. Does your embassy have a way to track it on their website?

I called the embassy first thing this morning and our AP was complete on April 6 and his visa is ready to be issued :dance:

I'm still in disbelief, I will not believe it until he is on his flight here! Thanks to everyone for all of your support

I pray that this nightmare ends for all of you soon.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-04-11 07:39:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

well I think this is good news. I was away all weekend and today when I got home decided to check the embassy website for our case status. It changed from "under processing" to "Need passport," I'm guessing they are ready to issue his visa, but I'm trying not to get too excited until I talk to the embassy or DOS tomorrow. Plz keep fingers crossed for us. thanks

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-04-10 21:35:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Also, are we in fact in AP? Please see above post. We did not receive a 221g but was told by embassy that our case needs additional processing and it will take a few weeks.

Rachid & Karen

I'm not certain, but it sounds to me like your case is in administrative review at the embassy or AP at the embassy level, that is usually the only time when a 2nd interview is done, unless something comes up in the background checks in Washington that prompts for a 2nd interview. You stated they wanted to send your case back, that sounds to me like they suspect fraud or something and the AP for that is entirely different from the background checks. I have read of a couple cases on here where a case was in AP at the embassy level, and not for very long, but once it cleared there it was then in AP at Washington, so it is possible to have it at both places.

Maybe I'm wrong and someone else will come along and correct me or be more clear, but from what I've read on here that is my understanding.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-04-04 21:34:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Thanks Carolyn...I don't know if I will be going now. I had a drs appt yesterday and I've had many complications in this pregnancy, and since I'm in my last trimester my appts are running a lot closer together, I'd hate for something to happen and me be all the way over there. Also my fiance has told me that the situation in Egypt is still not good and safe like it was before, there is suppose to be another protest tomorrow.

I pray you hear some news soon, that is ridiculous that it took them 3 months to review your papers before putting you into AP

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-31 08:25:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

How is everyone in AP doing?? Has anyone heard any news lately? It seems a lot of people have been getting their visa's, thats excellent and encouraging news for all of us.

No news here for me, I called the embassy yesterday and got the same response...pending!! I'm planning another trip to Egypt in a couple of weeks, I'm praying for a miracle and he'll be able to come back with me!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-30 10:22:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

hello

today get call from American Express Visa in hand its take 60 working days also officer told her do not contact before 3 month which is today with weekend and working days thanks god

any help and question please contact me.

ya ali madad

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

Congrats!!! :dance:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-25 07:39:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

i called DOS today and i was told that visa was issued today. i don't know i might have to call them tomorrow to be 100% sure. but how long does it take for embassy to contact us for passport after the DOS clears AP??

congrats!!! So happy to hear your long wait is finally over!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2011-03-25 07:36:00