ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaRamadan & overbearing WASP family
To the OP, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your family, but reading this has actually helped me a bit. I recently converted to Islam, and fortunately (in this case) I don't live anywhere near my family, so I am free to practice how I want without them bothering me. However, when they come to visit I try not to go out in public with them because of the veil, because I know what their reaction will be and its something I fear. And i don't fear so much because I don't want them mad at me but more because I don't want to disapoint them. Now, unlike your family, my family knows of my fiance and approves of him, even though he is muslim (my father is being cautious but thats about it). And when my parents found out I was going to marry him, my mother's main concern was if I was going to keep celebrating Christmas and Easter lol.

I have to agree what everyone else is saying (and I need to take my own advice), but it would probably be best if you told them now instead of waiting. The last thing you want is for them to not accept your marriage because they feel your fiance/husband forced you into this.

And its understandable why they would be upset, they love you, and they believe in their heart that their religion is right, so to them they feel you're losing your soul. However, I don't agree with the fact that they don't accept your fiance because he's muslim. They live in a country that allows freedom of religion, and that includes ALL religions. So although they may not believe in Islam, they should respect it and the people who practice it. This country was founded upon by people who came here to escape religious persecution, and so that all man kind could have the freedom to practice any faith they wanted and be treated equal. So if they have such a problem with other beliefs maybe you should suggest they move someplace that only allows the practice of Christianity :)

Good luck

Edited by mandyu1, 15 August 2010 - 05:33 PM.

mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-15 17:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaWednesday Sept 1st

Sorry I haven't replied sooner. We've been running errands and then went to a Hare Krishna festival tonight.

From looking at timelines on VJ the EAD is taking anywhere from 50-90 days. We got ours approved in 64 days. AOS or getting the green card in hand is averaging around 100 days right now.




No problem, how was the festival?

Is there a time difference for issuing a greencard between a K-1 & a CR-1? Also, I have read on here a few places but was a little confused about the whole AOS process; is it recommended that you file for AOS right after you marry or do some people wait?
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-09-02 07:36:00
Middle East and North AfricaWednesday Sept 1st

We received dh's EAD card in the mail today! He can officially work in the USA & there are 16 more days until the green card interview! Posted Image




Congrats Olivia, thats great!! :dance:

BTW, how long does it typically take to get an EAD and greencard? Someone told me before it only takes a few months after you do file AOS, but I'm thinking thats not right
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-09-01 15:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaWednesday Sept 1st
Good Morning MENA!! Happy Hump Day and September!!!!

Good morning Tamara, Olivia and Andrea. Tamara happy birthday to your husband!!

I can't believe September is already here, 2010 is 2/3 over :o I know the next 4 months will fly by, my kids are already deciding what to be for Halloween!!

I'm up here in Detroit training a new woman we hired to help me out, and I learned she immigrated here 6 years ago on a K3 from China. We've had some very interesting conversations, and she has told me all about her immigration nightmare, and now has be a bit scared :unsure:

Hope everyone has a great day!!!

Posted Image

Edited by mandyu1, 01 September 2010 - 08:09 AM.

mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-09-01 08:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaThursday
Morning Wonderful...yes, we plan on coming back when he gets here, it will be fun!! :)

I use to be a HUGE Michael Jackson fan when I was younger, and I still like a lot of his older music. I was devestated when he died, I couldn't believe it. After he died my 10 year old (9 at the time), became obsessed with him. Wanted books, CD's, movies, the hat, you name it, he wanted it. He mastered the moon walk and other moves...after awhile I started to worry about him :whistle: haha.

Anyway, I still can't believe he is dead either, its such a tragedy!!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-09-02 10:21:00
Middle East and North AfricaThursday
Good Morning MENA!! Happy Thursday!!

Well its my last day here in Detroit, and it's kind of bitter sweet. Looking forward to going home and seeing my kids and preparing to go to Cairo, but so hard to say good-bye to family and friends :(

Hope everyone has had a great week so far...does anyone have any plans for the holiday weekend?

Have a great day all!!

Posted Image
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-09-02 07:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaTGIF!
Hello Andrea, Sachinky, Jeanne & Wonderful!! Happy Friday all :dance:

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend, I wasn't planning on doing anything, but have been thinking of taking the kids away for the weekend...was thinking maybe Key Largo & Key West or Universal Studios, but really I want to go someplace where we can just hang out and have a good time and relax as well.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-09-03 13:20:00
CanadaWedding in another state then residence!?

Hello All,

So we recently had a change of our wedding plans and are hoping to do our justice of the peace at my fiance's parents place! Now we will be living in California, his parents live in Dallas, Texas. I am just wondering if we get married in Dallas does this change where we file AOS!? I'm assuming not...but also does it matter which state our marriage certificate will be in? Are there any other potential issues with this!?

Thanks!



It doesn't matter where you get married, you just need to check with the state and county you will be marrying in to see what their requirments are (recidency, waiting periods, etc...) If you were to google "Dallas County Marriage License" you should find all the info you need.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-21 22:57:00
CanadaPR application while having CR-1 application

My I-130 petition was approved. It will be challenging for my wife to re-establish domicile in US as she was naturalized in 2003 and she did not live in US since then. Although, she was visiting US twice a year.

We both applied for immigration to Canada to get PR cards. We want to get a line of credit to cover our moving expenses to US when I get greencard, and all banks here in Canada want us to have PR in order to approve the application for a line of credit.

My question is whether our application to immigrate to Canada will affect my green card application? Is there any communication between US and Canadian governments regarding immigration applicaitons?



I don't have a definate answer to your question, but I do know of a couple of people that immigrated to Canada while waiting for their US immigration applications to be approved.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-22 09:25:00
PhilippinesIs this too much thinking?
I think thats a very sweet idea. There is a thread in the MENA forum that also discusses how to help your SO to adjust to life here in the US. Some suggestions were tapping coins to paper and writing how much each one is worth, giving them their own key to the house (so they don't feel like a guest), printing maps, saving your home address in case she gets lost while out, and try to decorate or put pictures of her family back home, or something that will make her feel compfortable when she comes so it doesn't feel so strange and different.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-20 12:01:00
PhilippinesSad question we hate to ask
I have to agree with what everyone else is saying, if you're having doubts now (and you just started the process) you should listen gut. When we love someone we are blinded by many things, and a lot of times our heart does not want to hear what our mind is trying to tell us, so we make up excuses for behavior to try and comfort our own feelings. I'm a woman, and can say that even during that time of the month I still love my fiance as much as I did before. I may be a little more irritable, and he knows not to push my buttons, but I'm not cruel and I don't shut down or shut him out of my life for that brief period. And I think when I say that I can speak for the majority of women. It sounds to me that she probably does love you or have feelings for you, but may not be in love with you, and is trying to convince herself that if she comes here she can fall in love with you and have a good life. And I can tell you right now from experience that if this is whats going on its not going to happen. I married before for the wrong reason, I loved him but wasn't in love and thought over time I would love him like I should love a husband, and honestly I never did, and the marriage was an absolute disaster. I'm sorry you're going thru this, and the longer you keep going down this path the harder it's going to be to end. Good Luck in whatever you choose
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-12 07:51:00
PhilippinesSad question we hate to ask

Hi,

Exactly what I want to avoid...I would hate if she is accused of shopping for green card. Whether that was/is her intend or not. My heart can not reach that far to jeopardize any one dream or whatever we call it these days.

:(



Maybe that is not her intention, but you have to look at the situation from the CO eyes. If he sees she had a petition cancelled, and now after 6months-year is back with someone new and looking to immigrate they will most likely suspect something. If she is the one that wants to call this off, then she should have thought more about the process and the consequences if the relationship didn't work out before you guys started this journey. This is not an easy process and people should be absolutely certain they want to share their lives together before venturing down this path.

Good luck to both of you
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-08 16:42:00
PhilippinesSad question we hate to ask
Like others have stated you or she can just submit something in writing and request requesting the petition to be cancelled. Also, in the future if you or she decides to go this route again with someone else there will be a record of this petition and it will have to be explained at some point probably during the interview. Honestly, I don't think you would have too much of a problem if you sponsored someone else, but for her I think it would be more difficult, especially because of the consulate she will be dealing with. I hear its a hard consulate to begin with, and when they find out a prior petition was cancelled, and depending on how much time has passed, they may accuse her of shopping for a greencard. I read a story on here recently where a couple was going thru the same thing (she had a previous petition cancelled for her) and they denied her right on the spot and accused her for shopping for a greencard.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-08 16:15:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsGood News, another NOA2 :)
Congrats!!! Best of luck on the rest of your journey :)
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-07 21:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWhat do we do first??

See I forgot to ask you Mandy you said he could come here on a visitor visa and we could marry but he would have to go back. What would we have to do for him to come back and live here?



If he were to come visit and you married, after he returned to Egypt you could file for a CR-1 (which is like a K3, but the K3 is no longer being used (sorry having a mental block and can't think of the term :) ) The K-3 is similar to the K-1 but it is for a spouse, however all new petitions are for the CR-1. This is actually better because when he comes he will get his greencard right away. If he were to come on a fiance visa, after you married he would apply for AOS and then he would receive his 2 yr greencard, and after that he would apply for his 10 yr greencard. So going the CR-1 route, it takes a little longer, from what I have heard by a couple of months, but the advantages are better. Also, with a CR-1 he can travel out of the USA immediately after getting here and he can begin work. With a fiance visa he needs to get permission to travel and apply for a work authorization card.

Hope this helps!!!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-21 17:12:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWhat do we do first??

Thanks again Mandy I am in Arkansas and I will be checking into that!!! I also know some people here in my town that bring people from Mexico on work visas and then they marry here not sure how that works either but I think I will ask them about that....maybe he can get a job there!!! :)Everybody has been so nice and been giving me so much to look into and dig even deeper until I get him here!! I am so glad I accidentally found this forum because I feel like I will get more support than with my own friends and family.

Is there a way a couple could be married online? Or is that the same thing as the "proxy" marriage? I know he has asked me a few times about this so I thought I would ask.

We just really want to be together and we are trying to find out anything and everything so we know what plans to make. And what about him coming here on a visit? Does he have to go back if we marry? Sorry I know i am asking alot of questions but I really want this to be over and be together ASAP!!! I just don't know which would be the best and fastest route(even though the fast I know is next to impossible).

All of you guy's are great and have given me more each time to look into.

THANKS



Well if he is able to come on a visitors visa you can marry here, but he MUST go back after you marry. If he stays then you will be committing visa fraud (basically he said he was coming here to visit and knew that he was going to use that vis to immigrate). There have been people that have done it, and when it comes time for him to AOS and get his greencard it is whether he came here under false pretenses. And the same goes with the work visa, he must find an employer here to hire him and prove that they cannot find someone currently living in America to do the job, and even then if you married right away it would look a little strange. And no there is no online marriage, there is the proxy but in order for immigration to consider you husband and wife you still must meet.

I think your only option is to go see him (which is easier than him coming here), or have him try to get a visitors visa here. However, to get a visitors visa he has to show strong ties that he will return to Egypt, such as family, job, bank account, etc... Also, the consulate officer can approve his visa, but it is always up to the agent at the port of entry whether or not to allow them to enter, so its best if he brings this stuff with him also.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-21 14:03:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWhat do we do first??

Thank you everybody for your advice, I know it is going to be hard for me to take off of work but i have made plans to go after the first of the year. I really want to go right now but just impossible. What if we get married while I am there how does this work as far as him being able to come to the States? I really do not know anything about this!! For one I sure wasn't looking for anybody much less online from another Country but hey it happened!! I just want him to be here and he really wants to be here!!! What is the best and fastest visa? I know I am asking alot but this is just all so new to me and I want to do this legally but also getting frustrated with all of the paperwork and waiting I just want to do the fastest visa or whatever to be together after I come back home.

Thanks Again to ALL



Im not sure where you live but this is something I recently found out. There are a few states that do what is called a proxy marriage (Texas the most common, Colorado and Montant). What this is, you get married in the court and your fiance signs a paper giving someone to act on his behalf (a proxy)and you get married legally in the US. There are some companies that will help you with this but they charge a fee like $600 or something and they arrange the proxy and everything, or you can do yourself. The thing with this case though is that for immigration the US government does not consider this a real legal marriage until you see your fiance/spouse. Meaning you could marry here this way and as soon as u see him in Egypt or whereever he is, then the US government will see this as a legal marriage and then you can apply for the CR1 to bring him here.

Now I don't know how the embassy will view this type of marriage, and it does cost some money, but from what I hear getting married in Egypt takes days and is a real headache. But I'm just giving you information on another option.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-16 21:52:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWhat do we do first??

Hi ALL!!!
Ok my question is...first of all I am 42 and my fiance' is 25, I read on another forum that this might raise questions as to if it is a true relationship or just to help him become a US citizen...do you think that will be a problem??

I was also reading about him having to be in the Army??? I do know he has been in college and hasn't been working there

also my income is going to be very close to the guidelines that they have set,actually looking for another job so this won't be an issue

how hard is it to get a fiance' visa and how long does it take?

i work full time and it is going to be very hard for me to take off work and go to Egypt (as we have not met in person yet)do I have to go to Egypt or can he come here

would it be easier for him to get his citizenship and then move here or would that be longer??? what is THE BEST thing we can do to be together with no problems??

this is all new to me and I do not have a clue!!! I have read so many things and have gotten so confused as to what will be the best thing for us!!!

Thank You in advance!!!



Hello and Welcome,

Im not sure how much advice I can give since I am going thru the process myself, but I've been told that the K1 takes about the same about of time or a little less than the CR1. However the requirements of getting a K1 is that you have to have met in person in the last 2 years. He can try and apply to get a visitors visa and come see you, but its very difficult to get especially if they know he will come to see you (they fear he will not return to his country and immigrate legally). If he is denied the only option you have is to go and see him then return and file the petition.

My fiance and I are not that far apart in age, but I do know that there have been other cases of large age differences and they have been approved. Maybe those ladies will chime and give you their input. Also, if you don't meet the income requirements you can always use a co-sponsor if you have someone who is willing to sponsor him.

Hope this helps and good luck

Mandy
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-14 17:33:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsOur Interview Experiance
Thats great, congrats!!! :)
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-07-26 21:17:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reportsk1

what is evidence of engagment?



a letter from you and your fiance stating your intent to marry within 90 does of entering into the US, and if available a receipt for an engagement ring. Look up under guides and then K1, it will give you an example of what a letter or intent should look like.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-07 20:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNo K! case activity

Thank you mandyu1
That was the info that worked. The email that i sent to USCIS did some good to now they updated the web access there to.
our K1 is still at the NVC I called the embassy to see if i could setup a interview date, they would not let me, said they
had it in there system now but have not received the hard copy yet, she said call back in two to four weeks, right, I will
be calling again on monday, had a problem trying to get a pin number from the embassy they did not like my credit card finaly
tried a check card that i had never used before and it worked.
Thanks for everyones help on the VJ site!!!!!!!!!!!!!



your welcome, glad I could help :)

If the embassy doesn't have your case on Monday I would call NVC again and ask if it was sent yet. If they say no, ask them if you are in AP. I just spent 3 weeks in AP @ NVC. Typically K1's just fly thru NVC in a couple of days, but for some reason some are being pulled at random for additional checks or verification of documents. Good Luck!!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-06 08:20:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNo K! case activity

Yeah I keep calling NVC with our WAC number it says no record on file or something like that.
I tried to call USCIS today when i entered the WAC number it said not enough digits???
So i dont know where our I-129 is?
stuck in the middle I guess
Anyway thanks for the help
if anyone has any good ideas how to check on this let us know
I will try USCIS tomorrow again
Jacquelyn & Bob



The reason your case is not coming up is because you cannot check the status of a k1 thru the automated system. The automated system is for immigrant visas, and technically a k1 is a nonimmigrant visa. You need to talk with a live person. When you get thru, select 2, then 1, then 5 to speak with someone and they should be able to help you. Your case is probably already at the embassy. Good Luck!!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-08-05 07:09:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNOA2 Approved Vermont /Sept.Filer
Whoo hooo :dance: Congrats Kim!! Hope the rest of the process goes smooth for you!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2011-03-02 13:17:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reportsnvc foward file to consulate

All they tell me is that we shipped it on March 14th to the embassy in Cairo. Once your package leaves, we have nothing to do with it anymore.
I called the embassy to try to see if they received it, the lady who answered the phone was too annoying, she was like a tape. Our visa section is closed at this time. If you need any more info check our website.. so and soooo
She wasn't helpful at all...



everytime I call I tell them I'm calling for a case update, I don't tell them specifically which case I'm calling about and they transfer me right to the Consular Section. If you offer too much information they won't transfer you.

Have you tried emailing the consular section, they are pretty fast in responding.

Edited by mandyu1, 21 March 2011 - 04:01 PM.

mandyu1FemaleEgypt2011-03-21 16:00:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reportsnvc foward file to consulate

So if my case number is CRO2011569006 & shipped March 14th what would be my tracking number I checked dhl.com and it only allows 10th digits



I forget the format to check but if you look in the NVC forum there is a pinned discussion telling you how to track it. And yes, NVC will send you a letter but they do not provide you with a tracking number
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2011-03-21 14:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaFirst time traveling to Marrakech
You are correct, I am not Muslim, but I am aware that sex prior to marriage is forbidden. And being that he is Muslim I have even expressed to him that I would wait until marriage with him to be intimate, that is not really an issue. I'm just a bit nervous of traveling all that way, being in a country that I don't speak the language and don't know anyone, and being all alone. Not to mention, the cost of two hotel rooms instead of one. And he didn't mention of the paper license, I was just asking based on what I know they do here in the US. And I am just a bit confused because this is just all so new to me, I didn't think this was going to be an issue. Thanks again, and I am looking forward to my trip!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-14 22:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaFirst time traveling to Marrakech
Thanks for the posts everyone, I really appreciate it! Also, can I ask, do people there speak english as well? I understand that it may not be as fluent as mine, but it is my understanding that the primary language spoken in Morocco is arabic and french, which I don't speak either fluently lol. And what about a physical or immunizations, are you required to have this done before entering the country? Sorry, don't mean to ask dumb questions, but I'm just trying to prepare myself. Thanks again for the other replys!
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-14 21:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaFirst time traveling to Marrakech
Hi eveyone,

I am new to the site and this is my first post. I am planning a trip to Marrakech in the fall, and I just heard that the hotels there may not allow me and my fiance to stay in the same room together. I called the hotel, and they said that me being an American I don't need to be married or show a license, but my fiance is Moroccan, and they said he would have to show a certificate of marriage to be able to stay in the room with me. Now I have heard from several other sites and forums that the nicer hotels don't request this information, and that if we were to get married before our arrival it would have to be a muslim marriage, they would not accept a court license from the united states as proof of marriage. Also, being that the reservation is in my name and I'm American would they still ask for both of our ID's and/or passports? This is all new to me, and when my fiance first told me I thought he was joking. Any information or tips would be greatly appreciated. Also, if anyone knows of a particular hotel that does not require or request this could you please let me know.

Thank you
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-14 15:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
Well i definately appreciate everyones comments and sugguestions. I actually posted this about a month ago, and just the other day started getting more replies again lol. But anyway, a lot has happened since I posted this, I have been talking with someone else, but I'm not rushing things with that either. But I still remain friends with this man, and to answer your question he was willing to cover some of my travel expenses. I am still thinking about going, but if I go, I will be looking at it as going to see a friend and nothing more. If he decides he wants more one day and I'm still available I will cross that bridge when I get there, but I'm not putting my life on hold or waiting for him. Some may say that I am wrong because I did not tell him or this new man I am talking with, but the way I look at it, I'm not in a relationship with him. He did say he thinks of me as more than a friend, but doesn't want to commit to anything, so he had his chance. I don't owe him anything, or have to explain to him what I do or who I talk to.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-09-21 13:47:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
I don't know why he invited me, but regardless if there is no chance of a relationship with him in the future, I still feel we are good friends. I have known him now about 6 months, and he has stated that he considers me to be more than a friend. I do nothing for him, so I know he is not using me, yet he puts for the effort everyday (or practically everyday) to contact me either my phone, email or IM. So to answer your question, I would consider going because I would be able to see a part of the world I may not otherwise see or go to.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-09-21 13:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
QUOTE (Astarte @ Sep 21 2009, 07:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Jeezus crimeny...^^^^^ So you got duped, shitt happens. You knew he was up to something before you filed for AOS and you still did it anyways. Boo hoo, my heart bleeds.

To the OP, you never answered...were you formally invited to Maroc or did you invite yourself?



He invited me to come, and on more than one occassion.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-09-21 13:04:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
[quote name='Ian and Lisa' date='Sep 20 2009, 08:16 PM' post='3328746']
One other thing to think about... It may be difficult legally to move your children out of the US, assuming the father still has legal ability to see them. My attorney said it would be difficult to move out of my state without very strong evidence that my daughter would be financially and educationally benefited.
[/quote

I have sole legal and physical custody and he has no parental rights or visitation rights, so moving them out of the country would not be an issue.
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-09-20 20:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
QUOTE (allousa @ Aug 17 2009, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You've had some really good advice. These ladies have given you alot to think about.

I met my husband while he was going to school here in the States. I started talking to his parents on the phone after we had been dating a few months. We married here in the States, so my situation is different than yours. I will say that your post raises alot of red flags to me as well.

First off, I think in general, and not just towards MENA, women will get a "sense" of a man's "true" feelings and affections. If he is still holding you at arm's length there is a reason for that, in my opinion. I am sure that it can be more difficult to obtain that sense when you aren't in person, but if you have "gut" feelings about it all ready, I think there is reason for that. I am DEFINITELY one who trusts my instincts.

I already had been married once before when I met my husband and just that was a concern to him. He has told me that if I had children from that marriage, he would not have married me or even pursued a relationship with me. I will not say that this is true for all MENA men, but I feel pretty certain that many would say, that children from another marriage do raise some difficulties in a relationship. Heck, they would for ANY relationship no matter the culture.
I can tell you that I wouldn't uproot my child for ANY REASON. Especially if I were no longer married to my son's father, any man would have to become part of our established lives and I would feel that way until my son was grown. That is just how I feel and my opinion.

My husband and I have been married nine years now and it's been a ROUGH ride at times. I am not going to lie to you and say that it's not difficult when you are of two different religions. I am NOT a religious person at all, but I was raised as a Christian. It has caused conflict at times with my family. Also, you MUST know that if you and this man were to ever have children together they will be expected to be raised as Muslim.

I absolutely think that a person can find true love throughout this world and that it isn't always fraud. I think that many of us want you to be aware that entering into a relationship/marriage with someone and going through the whole process of Immigration procedures....it's a NIGHTMARE. And many ladies here will tell you that the adjustment can be even more difficult. And this is even before you add in the cultural differences.

I KNOW when you have those feelings for another person, it can at times cloud your judgment. But I do think you have feelings of concern for a reason and I think you need to trust that. Your choices are your alone to make, but as a mother, I know that whatever choices I make in life, my child is front and center. I think many of these ladies just come from a place of trying to be helpful, myself included and do not want you to take any of our advice as negative judgments against you.

Good luck to you! smile.gif


Thanks for your advice, and I don't take any advice on here as harsh, rude or negative. This man and I spoke about this again last night, and he basically said at this time he is not ready for a serious committed relationship, meaning marriage. He is not financially stable and said it is not the right time for him. I guess I can respect that, but at the same time he doesn't want me to have a relationship with anyone else, and continues to tell me his feelings for me strong, and how much he misses me, wishes I could be there with him, etc... Based on what I initially wrote, I think many are under the impression that I am pushing myself on him. But he is the one who has asked me to come visit, and tells me all of these sweet things, and I'm a bit frustrated because I feel like he's sending me mixed signals. Its like he doesnt want me to be with anyone else, but he's not ready to move to the next level. Some may say he's taking advantage of me, but for what, I'm not giving him anything. So from here I will continue to live my life for me and my kids, and whatever happens, happens...I will not put my life on hold because he can't make up his mind, or get his act together. He told me last night he still wants me to come see him, so I will go, but I don't expect anything from him, and as some have suggested, I will go as a friend. I am looking forward to going somewhere I have not been and experiencing the culture, so if nothing else comes out of the trip, at least I'm sure I'll have an amazing time seeing that part of the world. Thanks everyone for all of your comments and advice, it is appreciated.

mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-17 09:10:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
Thanks for all of the replys and the advice. My children and their best interest is whats most important to me, and when I made the comment to him that I would move there, he said, do you really understand what your saying. And at the time I guess I wasn't giving it real thought, but the more I think about it, yes it would not be in their best interest to live in Morocco. He said if he was able to move somewhere in Europe, it would be a different story, it would probably be more of what they are accustomed to, and better education. I know he came to school here, and I know he worked for a university in CA like he told me, I was able to google his name and found him under staff with photos and everything. The school stopped offering the program he was teaching, and he decided instead of looking for another job to return to Morocco.

I asked him shortly after we met if things got serious if he would make the sacrifice to move back to the states, and at the time he said he didn't know for sure, we would have to see what happens between us down the road before he could give me an absolute yes. So I guess I can't be upset about that, I certainly wouldn't move my children to Morocco or anywhere else unless I knew w/o a doubt he loved me and had asked to marry me, so to be fair I can't request for him to move to the US or vow to leave his country just to see if works out.

And there were a few comments about not meeting his family, and how do I know he is not already married. Well I guess I'm not 100% sure he's not married, but that goes for American guys as well. I mean, we talk throughout the day, and almost every evening for a few hours until its about 3-4am his time. I also see him at home on the webcam, a laptop in the room and no sign or evidence of a woman there, or we'll talk during the day or late on the phone and I never hear another woman. And I have not told my family or friends of him either, mainly because I know they will be upset and I don't feel the need to start an argument when I don't know what direction this is going. If it gets to that point, then I will tell them, but until then it's my business and not theirs. And although he has not told his friends and family about our relationship, he does talk on the phone to me in front of them, and use their computer if he's over there, so its not like he's hiding me from them. Although I may meet a cousin or friend when I visit. I am flying into Casa and he will meet me there, and I'm already aware that we need to stay in two different hotel rooms.

I plan on going to see how things go and talk more in person. I guess I'm just hoping that when he sees me there, he will know I'm serious about him, and he will consider coming back to the US. We'll see what happens, I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks again smile.gif
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-15 23:20:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco

Hi.
What a story. First let me say morocco is a beautiful place with wonderful people. third world , no it is not, I will disagree with this.
I have been there for a total of 7 1/2 months, I went three different times. It is different there yes. First they have toilets like us, but
many of them have what is called a traditional toilet. please google this. it is clean , but different. Always carry klenix with you . but they
eat good, clean food. i mean fresh here.
Their homes are so clean, they are not into worldly things. and I will agree, yes they are a poorer society by far. But many life well and I have been
to places there that are very american in decor and stuff. Many do not have washing machines, you do it by hand, or air conditioner, but their heat you do get use to it.
To dress. I believe in respecting different cultures, but still being yourself. Just don't expose alot of the chest and legs and you will be fine. Take comfortable shoes. sandals , sneakers. sunglass for sure
Go on the CDC goverment site , it has all you need to know for world travel. go to the morocco section. tells you how to eat safely to avoid problems.
drink ONLY bottled water, to be safe. I followed the information here and never had a problem.
They DO NOT speak english at the airport. When you get there you man should be there. I hope, you can change your money at the airport for
the durham, or at a bank.
I would say, do your homework on the country and always be with someone, and you will be fine.
Muslim and Christian. That is me and my husband. First I took the time to read the quran myself. A muslim man is allowed to marry a woman, not muslim as long as she believes in GOD. YEs they are allowed more than one wife. but the quran states, only if they can love and take care of each wife properly and the same. Truth fully, have you spoken with your man about this. My Simo and I , we talked so much about this stuff. I wanted to know it all and how he felt and believed. Cause remember you can't change someone. They are who they are. And one thing , A muslim man , a true one, is that way and belives that way and stays that way. With me, we are happy and content. When they love you , it is real and forever, They can not cheat, they can not go to heaven if they do.
From what you said. I feel as if he cares for you. But sorry. deeply in love. I wouldn't know that is for you to find out. He seems to keep you at bay with using the children as, they won't be raised right. and stuff. Financially, taking care of a family in morocco is hard hard. this part is true.
Please listen to any nagging or feelings you have. Remember one thing our insticts usually are right. You love him??? But you are not getting this in return. But maybe going and being with each other is what you both need to find out the truth in the relationship. Explore those feeling inside you ok. Before truely moving to another place. there is alot to it. and when he says family to be close to them. how close can he be to them in france???
I can understand him not liking america, he does seem to want to leave morocco. but does he include you and the children in this views and dreams and ideas??? If not then you need to think about this. I don't want to be harsh. but you wanted help. I don't want to see you or anyone hurt. Love is great when it is love. I hope for you it is good and what you want and need. And you are doing right by asking advice and stuff.
And if you go. you will enjoy the place. Me, I would live there in a heart beat, if we could figure out how to make a living there. that is where we would be. Tell him you love him and see what he says, do you see each other on cam?? and you are going there. why would he not let his friends and family know. this are important things to consider ok. No secrets, no lies, relationships are on trust, love and honestly. I wish you great luck, and please forgive me if I came across rough or anything. that is not my intention. I for one meet my love on line, and after 2 years back and forth. it was worth it. We know more of each other from talking on here than most know when they live in the same town.
Good luck.
Shellie
[/quote]

Hi Shellie

Thanks for the advice, and no I don't think you are being harsh, I appreciate the honesty. To answer some of your questions, he wanting to move to France, he has family in France as well (sister, cousins, aunts, uncles in Paris) and he went there last month in hopes of staying for a few months and getting a job, but they only approved his visa for 10 days. And about the children, he makes a good point, they are 12, 9 and & 3, and they only speak English, and there the kids would speak Arabic or French, most do not know any english at all. He did say that if it was only me, maybe things would be different, and that if he was able to move to Europe then it would be something he could see happening because it would be more of what they are accustomed to. As for his dreams, we both like to travel, and he talks of traveling together, even if its just to meet up there and experience our travels together. And I am planning to visit, but he is in Northern Morocco now, and I'm flying into Casa, and he will come there and meet me there, and stay there, so I will not meet his family when I go, maybe a friend of cousin but thats it. I know I love him, and my gut tells me that he cares and has deep feelings for me too, but I know he doesn't feel that this relationship will ever come together, due to the distance and other circumstances, and maybe for that reason he is holding back to avoid being hurt. And I was shocked to hear how much he earned at his job compared to the states, and I offered to work, but realistically I could't, I only speak english, not to say I can't learn another language, but it would take time.

Now a question about marriage and multiple wives...they cannot cheat, but they can have another wife. So anytime during your marriage, if he felt he could take care of her, he could get married again? I know this is something I would have to talk with him about, but I just want to be clear on that.

Thanks again for the advice smile.gif
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-15 21:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaNeed advice before trip to Morocco
Hello, this may not be the right or best place to post this, but I am hoping that both men and women in successful and unsuccessful relationships can help me out. I am American and about 4 months ago I met a Moroccan man. My feelings for this man are growing deeply, and I know I am falling in love with him. I have read many posts on here of successful relationships and that gives me hope, but I also hear a lot of the bad relationships and that worries me. Unlike some on this site, he as been to the US before, and has lived her for years while going to school and also working, but returned to Morocco to be close to his family. From the very beginning this man has told me that he views the distance between us and a barrier, and over time he has expressed he has feelings for me, but does not want to promise me anything that he is not 100% sure he can do or give. He has not come out and told me he loves me, but again, has expressed that he does have deep feelings for me. One of the issues is that he does not want to return to the US, he liked his time here, but he feels he needs to be close to his family. Another issue is that I have children from a prior marriage, which he says isn't an issue personally, and every time we speak he asks about them. Over the past 4 months we have spoken every day, sometimes several times a day, via email, instant message, or phone calls, and I know when we chat online he is at home and not at an internet cafe. I have suggested to him a couple of times that if this between us became serious I would consider moving to Morrocco or to Europe (he is trying to move to France or somewhere in Europe in hopes of finding a better life, and again, he has family in France), but he insists that this cannot happen, my children would not get the education there like they do here in the states, he couldn't support all of us right now, and basically thinks I'm crazy because he says Morocco is a third world country, and people try their whole lives to get out, and I'm doing the opposite...he said he couldn't allow it, especially since I have children to think about, and it would be selfish of me to ruin their lives for my own happiness.

I have plans to visit him shortly and I'm starting to get nervous, I hear of all these horror stories and it honestly scares me. I don't think he's using me because he's not looking for a green card, he has made it very clear he doesn't want to come back here. Also, he is going through some financial hardships over there and I have offered to help him and he has refused, saying that it would be an embarrassement to him, and he would feel awful if he accepted money from me. But on the other hand, he has not told his family or friends about me, and sometimes when we talk he can seem very distant and at others he seems very sweet and loving. Also, he is Muslim and I am Christian, but he has told me this is not an issue, although I have been reading up on Islam on my own and already had some prior knowledge of it. But I have heard some say that Islam does not allow men/women to marry outside of their religion, so this is also a concern for me. I have also heard that Moroccan men believe in having multiple wives, or they are not faithful to their wife, so any claifiication on this would be great.

Also, shortly after we starting talking he told me that if I found someone in the states that I should not wait for him, and although he would be hurt, I should move on. But if I'm not home he wants to know what I'm doing, and if he thinks I'm with other men he gets very jealous (which I'm not), but on the other hand he's not ready to make that committment, I don't understand it. Also, he has told me that he is still a virgin, as he was taught that you wait for marriage before you have sex, and I told him I understand and repect that, so I don't think he's having me come out there just for sex either.

So I have plans to visit him in a couple of weeks, and I don't know what to expect there, from him or the people of Morocco. And I don't know if I'm waisting my time, so I was hoping that some of you could give me some advice and help me understand what is going on here, and what Moroccan men are like, and in your opinion is he trying to gain my trust only to use and hurt me down the road. If you guys think he is being honest and sincere, what do you suggest I do to prove to him that this can work (like I said, after reading all the success stories it give me real hope)...do I tell him that I love him, or will that push him away, or do I take a step back and let him come to me?

Also, if I decide to go forth with the trip, what suggestions do you have as far as keeping myself from getting sick (i.e drinking the water, eating certain foods), immunizations the US requires for travel there, can I exchange US money for Moroccan money at a bank, do people in the airport speak english, and what is appropriate clothing and behavior for women there (I'm guessing shorts is not a good idea)?

Sorry for such a long and lengthy post, but this culture is new to me, and I know that Moroccan men are different from US men, so I know I cannot compare his behavior to American men. But I feel like I have met my soul mate, he makes me feel complete, but love is blind, and sometimes we overlook the red flags because we want something so desperately. Your feedback, advice and suggestions are appreciated. Thank you

mandyu1FemaleEgypt2009-08-15 20:16:00
Middle East and North Africamarry in egypt of K-3?

I believe that maybe at some point fiance visas were quicker, but coming out of Egypt recently, it seems like the CR1 and K3 have been quicker in general. We filed K3 and had our visa in eight months.



Thanks for your response....Did you marry in Egypt? If so how long did it take you to marry and what documents did you need to bring with you and did you run into any problems? As I stated my finance is an Egyptian citizen, however he is currently working in Saudi Arabia, if we marry he will stay in Egypt, but if we decide to marry here he will remain in KSA for work and deal with the embassy there, so I don't know how quickly things will move there. Thanks again
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-01-24 17:29:00
Middle East and North Africamarry in egypt of K-3?
hi i was hoping for some help, i am engaged to an egyptian and will be traveling there in 1-2 months. we wanted to marry when i was there, but have been told by some that a fiance visa is actually faster than a k-3. was wanting to know what everyone here thought, and any suggestions on marrying abroad would be appreciated.

Thank you
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-01-24 10:48:00
Middle East and North Africatraveling to Saudi Arabia

Dear Mandy,

I don't know how old you are but its very difficult to travel into Saudi alone. Unless you have already done the nikkah you might be able to join him on a off chance. Because he isn't Saudi his sponsor would have to get the visa for you and that is very difficult and takes a long time if its even granted. I wish I could offer something more positive, but most likely won't happen. Sorry.



Thanks for the advice. I know I did contact a travel group and they said since I was under 45 I couldn't travel with them alone so I'm sure I won't be going. We talked about maybe having the interview in Cairo, do you know if its possible to change the Consulate after we filed the I-129F?
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-05-12 15:53:00
Middle East and North Africatraveling to Saudi Arabia
Hi everyone,

My finace is Egyptian but currently working in Saudi Arabia. I know KSA has strict laws concerning women traveling alone, I'm curious if anyone has any information on this or if they have traveled to KSA without a male relative. I would like to join my finace for his interview but I'm not sure if I can get a visa to come or if I will have a difficult time while I am there since we are not married and I would be traveling alone.

Thanks all
mandyu1FemaleEgypt2010-05-12 14:47:00