biggish data

There has been a lot of excellent advice given here, but one thing that I don't see, which I really feel a lot of petitioners do not think about is the shock that you will experience yourself. Yes, the immigrant has culture shock and needs help getting use to life in the USA, missing family, friends, his or her way of life, etc. However there is also a period of drastic change in your own life. You're going from living alone (or living with children, etc) to having someone new in your home full time. Yes you love him and you've waited 6, 9, 12 months or more to have him with you, but things just are not going to work the way that you use to. One poster touched on how her husband didn't accept her coming/going as she pleased, but there are other things as well. You have your own schedule ; when you wake up, morning routine, work, kids, friends, dinner, tv shows, etc and now there is going to be another person who has to be incorporated into that. If you're a person who doesn't do well with change, this can be a huge deal and I experienced my own "shock". I love my husband dearly and the last few years that he's been in the US with me have been a blessing, but it hasn't been roses and rainbows. We had to learn to live together. It's no different than if you marry someone in the US and after marriage live together. I was very accustomed to my quiet evenings, reading, television shows, books, going out with friends, etc. After his arrival I was excited and wanted to entertain him, show him his new home, make sure that he felt comfortable, etc. But after a while it starts to feel taxing ; all those creature comforts that you were use to just aren't the same anymore. Again this might have been only me as I don't deal as well with change as some people do. But it's definitely something to think about and prepare for. In some ways the first few months to year can feel very much like having a new child. No, I'm not calling your husband a child, but he is unfamiliar with the area, has no close family or friends, doesn't know how to get from point A to point B, might not understand how a debit or credit card works, is overwhelmed by the selection at the grocery store and can't wrap his mind around 40,000 versions of the same item, doesn't understand slang terms, and the list goes on and on. You have to take him by the hand and guide him through all of this. From teaching to drive and getting a license, to ordering at a restaurant, to using his new ATM card at the MAC machine or credit card to purchase something, etc. I even had to explain the credit process (credit scores, how to obtain credit, how to keep good credit, )

Keeping an open mind and being very patient are probably the two best pieces of advice that I can give.

You make some valid points, and I think you're right, many people don't consider how much their life will change. And Although any new marriage is an adjustment, most spouses (who are in the United States already) know the basics and how to go places and do things on their own. But when dealing with immigration, it is very much like helping a child. But I love him, and I'm trying to prepare myself for this. I just purchased a new car, and he thought I was paying cash :blush:

so I had to explain the whole credit process to him and it scared him. He's affraid if something happened and he couldn't pay they would put in in jail, and maybe in Egypt they would, but I did have to explain how important it is to pay your bills on time.

Thankfully I have dealt with enough change in life that I've some what deleloped a care free spirit, and roll with whatever comes my way, and in this situation I'm sure it will help. One thing I think I will struggle with though is money. I know Muslim men are raised and should support their family, and even when he is working we all know how expensive it is to live off of one income, and I'm use to buying whatever and whenever I want, without asking for permission or informing anyone.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-17 10:43:00

Also, you mentioned him wanting to go to get his Masters in Egypt? I would assume this would be once he was a citizen? This could have a huge factor on his status in the country if he was planning to do it while a green card holder
[/quote]

Thanks for the advice, and no I meant once he is here he wants to get his master.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-17 09:44:00

Hotguy, I appreciate your perspective as a newly immigrated Egyptian man. I hope other MENA men can contribute as well. It helps us as the wives to understand what you're going through in order to try to understand what our own husbands are going through or have gone through because sometimes it's not as easy to tell your own wife/husband what you're feeling.

Yes HotGuy, thanks for weighing in and sharing

One thing the Imam did tell me was no matter what he says now, there will come a time when he wants to go back home. It may be soon after he arrives because he hasn't adjusted and it may be 10-15 years down the road, and that was something I had to really take into consideration. He also said that he's been here for 30+ years and as much as he likes it here, he still does not fully grasp the American culture, just like it would be hard for an American to do the same in another culture.

As for asking permission, I don't ask permission to do things, I inform him of what Im doing. I take vacations with my kids, go shopping, to the gym, and many other things, and I tell him out of respect for him, and he does the same to me. The only thing he does not like is for me to be out alone at night, and that is for safety reasons. But he also knows that sometimes it cannot be avoided, especially since he's not here and I have no other family near me, so he has learned to accept that. But Im expecting that when he comes he will have a problem with this, and this is something after a lot of thought I'm willing to compromise with him on.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-17 09:18:00

Thanks for all the advice. I know the job is the biggest concern for him, but he is also considering going back for his masters when he gets here so that should help with keeping him busy. As for the license, I have been talking a lot with And_Sam since we live in the same state, and I know the only way he can drive here right away is with an internatinal license, which is good for 6 months, so this is something he is looking into. Another good thing I think is good, is that I attend a local Mosque and there are actually many egyptians there too, and he has spoken with a few of them already. I think thats a plus so he will feel a little more comfortable when he meets everyone in person. I have also met a lot of great ladies on this site, and their husbands have been kind enough to talk with him, so he feels he has already made some friends here, and fortunately some live close to where we will be living.

But I think one thing he will struggle with the most is the culture. My fiance is a very strong, faithful Muslim, and he's use to walking to the mosque 5 times a day and praying. Here he can't do that, the mosque isn't that far, but its not walking distance. And I tell him that although to Muslims, Friday is the most important day of the week, here it is still a work day, and if he has a job he just cant leave when he wants for prayer or have the day off. And when I tell him how you really don't see people walking places here he is shocked. Also, the Imam at the mosque that will marry us, refused to agree to perform the marriage until he counseled both of us, as like a pre-marital counseling. He made us both lay out on the table everything we expected from each other, and if there was something we could not come to an agreement on then he wouldn't do the marriage. I know someone made a comment about needing their husbands permission to do anything, and Mohamed is somewhat like that, but more just wants to know what I'm doing. And i've already gotten into the habit of telling him or sending him a message and letting him know whats going on, but at the same time when he comes I'm sure it will still be an adjustment because I'm so use to being independent.

Edited by mandyu1, 17 August 2010 - 08:08 AM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-17 08:07:00

Hi all

We are in the final stretch of this visa process and my fiance will be having his interview soon. As time gets closer I feel him becoming more nervous, although he insists that nothing is wrong and he is ready for this. I'm just looking for some insight from others who have gone thru this process, and how their fiance/spouse felt prior to coming and their initial feelings after setting foot on U.S. soil. How well did they adjust, did they experience culture shock, and what things about America were the hardest to adjust to? Also, any suggestions on how I can help settle his nerves, make the adjustment a little easier, or interview tips would be appreciated.

Thanks everyone

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-16 18:34:00

MY HUSBAND IS FINALLY HOME!!!!!!!

Congrats!! I'm so happy for you and your family

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-22 09:29:00

Relaxing Sunday

Good Morning MENA!!

Hope everyone has had a great weekend so far. Its Sunday and usually a day I like to chill and relax. Getting the kids ready to go back to school tomorrow :dance:

Enjoy your day everyone!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-22 09:34:00

Saturday!

Hey Jeanne and MENA!! Hope everyone has a great day and weekend.

Jeanne enjoy your time at the salon....I plan on doing some shopping today, that always makes me feel better

Stay cool & safe everyone!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-21 11:06:00

Egypt is featured in Busch Gardens Tampa

I didn't know that, I'll have to check it out

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 15:58:00

Hey everybody!! Yep, it's Moanday here on the east coast of Fla too! I'm telling ya, we should have a meeting at Disney world!! Just a mini MENA fest!!
Make them realize that they should have included Egypt in EPCOT!!!
Mandy, how did your kids do in school today? My son stayed out sick today, he all congested and felt nauseous all night long.
So he made it to at least the third week of school before getting sick. Might be a record for him!

Hey Andrea, sorry about your son, hope he feels better soon. Well kids liked school today and looked great in their new best clothes haha, however I'm not so happy. It took me an hour to drive my daughter and over 1.5 hrs to pick her up. They really need a better system for dropping off and picking up :bonk:

We should have a mini meetup at Disney, how fun would that be :star:

And Mohamed asks me all the time why there is no Egypt in Epcot, they should get rid of Denmark and replace it with Egypt

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 15:38:00

Thank you so much i really appreciate it .Yeah i just have one day ticket for Disney,Sea world and for arabian nights .but i guess i have a multi-day ticket for universal .

no problem, make sure you let us know how your trip was

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 12:11:00

Wow 5 times in a year !!Well we want to know if we will be able to get out of Dinsey and go back to it in the same day .Or it will be like once you get out you will not be able to come back .Plus if you suggest any good beach around .

Yes you can enter and leave the park and re-enter. However, depending on the type of ticket you have (parkhopper or basic)you may only be able to go to 1 park a day. If you have just a basic ticket and go to lets say Magic Kingdom the first day, you can come and go into that park as many times as you like in the same day, but you cannot enter the other parks. If you have a parkhopper ticket you can come and go as many times as you want and enter all of the other parks all in the same day. I have an annual pass so it works the same as a parkhopper, but I really think the parkhopper option is not worth the extra money you pay, especially if this is your first trip, there is so much to see and do that you will not get bored at all during the day.

As for beaches, Orlando is some what in the center of Florida or a little closer to the east coast and I'm not too familiar with the beaches that way, but I would say the nearest beach is at least an hour from Disney.

Nancy, I LOVE Disney!!! I only live about 2.5 hrs south of Disney and have annual passes so sometimes we just take a drive up there for the weekend. I was just there 3 weeks ago. The kids love it, but if they're too young they don't appreciate it and actually I think I like it more than my kids do :blush:

Edited by mandyu1, 23 August 2010 - 10:33 AM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 10:33:00

Oh yeah .We are going to Disney,Sea world ,Arabian nights and to Universal . We have been planing for that trip since 2007 !

2007!!! oh wow you guys are going to have a great time. I've never been to Sea World, I hope to go one day soon. But I've been to Disney 5 times in the last year :wacko:

so if you have any questions just let me know

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 09:48:00

Good morning Mandy

Its so nice here in NC .Almost a month till me and my wife go to Florida yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .

Have a nice blessed day everyone .

Are you going to Disney?

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 09:16:00

Good Morning MENA!! Happy Monday everyone!!

This is the best Monday I've had in a long time..kids went back to school today :dance:

Although I can't wait for the weekend so I can sleep in again.

It's pouring rain here today and last night we had some pretty wicked storms come through, normally I love thunderstorms but these even made me a bit scared :blush:

Have a great day everyone!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-23 08:37:00

Security checks for MENA men in foreign consulates

I just spent 3 weeks in AP @ NVC, which is not very common for K1 filers since the cases are not processed @ NVC like the CR-1 visa's. I remember the first week was the worst, I would call them every day, sometimes twice a day, and then I stopped because I got tired of hearing the same thing over and over. 3 weeks is not a long time compared to how long some people have been in AP, and I know there is the chance he will be put in AP again after the interview. Prior to our case going to NVC I was aware of AP and did a lot of research on it, and its what everyone says...a black hole. As others have said it could be because of his name, and also his profession. If he will be working in a profession here in the US that will allow him to have access to certain information or material that could be used to harm other American's then that can cause a delay also.

The best advice I was givin, and what I am already preparing myself for is.."expect the worse, but hope for the best." The advice sucks, and its not fair, but its the best advice.

Hope everything get resolved quickly for you

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-24 09:45:00

The Lovely Tuesday Daily Thread

Hello Jeanne, Jackie and Wonderful

Wonderful Im excited for you and your upcoming concert. I dread late night drives by myself too, but I'm sure you'll be soo wound up from the concert that you will have no problem staying awake for the drive home, just be careful

Hope you ladies have a great day!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-24 10:27:00

The Lovely Tuesday Daily Thread

Good Morning Olivia and MENA!!

Olivia I hope you hear some good news about the interview, and enjoy your company this week (although I dread cleaning very much also)

Today is the kids' second day of school and I can say its already going a lot smoother than yesterday. Yesterday I spent 4 hours out of my day driving and picking kids up. My sons school is not a problem, its just so far away (like 10 miles), but my daughter's school has grades K-8, so there are so many people coming and going. She said yesterday they had to make an announcement telling all the parents they had to leave the school :lol:

I can understand taking small children into school on the first few days or sometimes all year, but middle school aged kids!!! :bonk:

Maybe its just me that thinks this is a odd, or maybe its just my kids who are at the "embarrassment stage" and don't like to be seen with me

Hope everyone has a great day!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-24 07:49:00

Happy Hump Day and Happy Birthday, Mandy!

Haven't posted in the daily thread in a while...just been busy and generally sick of the immigration process. We are currently having a hold-up with the AOS due to an RFE, and we're trying to figure out how to fix it. Gosh, and I thought the visa process was the hardest part!

Ramadan has been going well in our house. I've cooked a ton of Egyptian recipes on iftars and hubby is happy! I just miss my family lots, but thank God for Skype.

I hope everyone had a great day!

Thanks Aya

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-26 07:43:00

Thanks Andrea, Olivia & Sara!!

Andrea there is a place in Detroit called Greenfield Village, if you ever make it up that way you need to go. They have a huge museum and you can also walk around and look at old homes and how they lived back in the day. At Halloween the kids can go trick-or-treating there and they line the pathway with lighting jack-o-lanterns, and a few years back I went at Christmas and they had all the old homes decorated like they would have been during that time, you could take a horse and carriage ride through the town, and had carrolers dressed up walking around signing...very cool!!!

Hope everyone had a great day!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-25 18:14:00

Called the park and they(TFF) don't want people to have cameras with extended lenses... omg whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i'm going to be sitting too far back to capture them with this stupid digital camera.... i was going to take my old slr that had zoom lenses that can pick up really good.. i even bought the film for it iso800... i want to cry.. the lady said that they told people to put those cameras up... i'm taking my bookbag and getting some pictures dog-gone-it

I'm sorry, it sounds like you're not having a very good day

If I were you I would sneak the camera in too and take pics. Once you're in I doubt anyone will be walking through during the concert seeing what kind of camera everyone using.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-25 14:38:00

OMG Mandy I forgot to tell you Happy Birthday... please forgive me, I have a lot on my mind this morning..... Happy Birthday to Mandy

haha Thank you Wonderful, its ok!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-25 11:37:00

Good morning MENA!!! Happy Hump Day!!! Hey Mandy, Jeanne, Staashi and R and F.. Well I have to got back to aftercare today to find out why these kids are picking on my daughter... now someone took her homework... I didn't raise my child to be a bully or take other people's things or anything like that... I am extremely angry right now and I'm trying to calm myself down ... I don't want to keep going up here to this place...I told her the next time someone hits her, hit them back... this telling the teacher stuff is not working.. she tried to tell and she told her to sit down... i wanted her to go to this place because they have long hours and music, arts and crafts, homework help and other things.. but @##it, I'm fed up with those bad a$$ kids... they take her homework and throw it around, now they just take it and when I ask the man what is she going to tell the teacher, he says"theft of homework" that's no different than "my dog ate it"... Autumn is going to face things like this... she isn't happy now and neither am I.. but I can't keep putting her place to place... next time it happens I'm talking to that child's mother... i'm VERY protective of my children.. i don't curse but when I'm angry, well who knows... I hate bullies with a passion....anyway I hope everyone has a good day today... I'm going to listen to my Tears for Fears cds now... I can't wait to see them... I hope this camera works

Sorry to hear about the tough time you're having with these other kids. I can completely relate to what you're feeling. My daughter was about 6 yrs old when she was taking the bus to the after school center and 2 older girls had her against the window and were spitting in her face, I of course went to talk to the principal and all he did was talk to their parents!! Then one day I was picking her up from the after school center and the same girls were surrounding her and screaming in her ears, the teacher was there and did absolutely nothing, so I went off on them like you wouldn't believe and immediately pulled her out of the center. I don't raise my kids to be bullies either, but when telling the teacher or another adult doesn't work, sometimes the only solution is to fight back. I had another incident with her a few years ago, and it wasn't getting resolved with the principal, and I told him don't call me when my daughter hits her because I don't care, she deserves it. There is nothing like a mother's rage when your child is being mistreated. I hope your Tears for Fears CD's help calm you down

Edited by mandyu1, 25 August 2010 - 10:19 AM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-25 10:18:00

Thanks Staashi & Jeanne!!

Jeanne I'm glad you finally got the rain you've needed. Its rained here the last 4 days, its beginning to get old!!

Staashi, there really isn't anything great about Detroit lol. I was born and raised there and the only thing I miss is my family and friends. A week is the most I can handle there at any one time, after that I start to go crazy. There really is a lot to do there, if your visiting the area, but when you have lived there as long as I have its not exciting. Just like when I went to visit Mohamed in Egypt, we went to the pyramids and it was his first time seeing them too. I said, how can you live here and never see the pyramids!!! He says its normal to them and never thought about going :whistle:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-25 09:05:00

Good morning MENA!! Happy Hump Day!!

Just found out that I need to be in Detroit Sunday for work all next week :huh:

I have way to much going on the next few weeks and this really isn't a great time to go, but it will be nice to see my family and friends.

Today is my birthday, my kids decorated the house last night after I went to bed, the whole house is filled with balloons, streamers, banners lol. Poor things stayed up so late so I could be surprised when I woke up in the morning, it was a very sweet and great surprise!!

Hope everyone has a great day!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-25 07:48:00

Yeah i know so many people translated their police record and thier military .But its really worthless and its just waste of money and time .But he needs to translate his birth certificate '' Cause he will need it when he will move to USA '' .

Yeah just the them that he needs to pay for the visa application .He can pay in USA or Egyptian money .

ah ok...I already told him he needed to translate everything, and since he's going for the birth certificate he can do the other two anyway. I know if I tell him he doesn't need to do it now I'll just confuse him more lol.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-26 11:03:00

Yeah he needs to send the receipt of his payment to the CIB '' the original'' .There is no need to translate the police record or his military .

Good luck and my best wishes for ya .

Thanks for the help!! I've been told that he needed to translate his military, birth certificate and police record..did anyone else do this? Also, when he goes to pay at the CIB does he just tell them that he is there to pay for a visa or does he need to provide them with any information?

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-26 10:35:00

Mandy he still can print out the forms and send them to the embassy .I mean he should not wait for the package 3 .

I know he can, and I even told him that, but for some reason he's being stubborn about packet 3. I've already sent him all of the docs and he has his military and police report, he just needs to get them translated...he said he was going to do all of this next week. He gets on me for procrastinating, but he's had the docs I sent him for almost 2 weeks :whistle:

Does he need to send the receipt of his payment to the CIB back with the documents, or just bring it to the embassy for the interview?

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-26 09:29:00

Morning HG, Jeanne, Wonderful & Charles!!

Thanks HG and Wonderful, I got another reply from the embassy stating they would send him another packet by Sunday, they also listed all the required documents that he needs to return, and attached the medical form, so he can at least schedule that and get it done.

Wonderful I hope you have a great time at the concert tonight...sneak the good camera in!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-26 09:12:00

Good morning Aya!! Good morning MENA!

Aya I know its been terrible, all of this rain, I drove the kids to school this morning and it was raining again, but it looked like it was going to clear up.

Well the embassy said they sent Mohamed packet 3 on Monday and he still has not received it. I have a feeling they sent it to the wrong address since they didn't confirm until Tuesday that his address had been updated :bonk:

Anyway, I told them to send him another one.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Edited by mandyu1, 26 August 2010 - 07:45 AM.

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-26 07:43:00

TGIF

Thats great Wonderful, I'm glad you had a great time!! I can't wait to see the pics

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-28 06:55:00

TGIF

Good Morning MENA!! All I can say is TGIF!!! :dance:

What a week!!! The first week back to school is always hectic, trying to get back into the routine of things, and its even more difficult when the kids don't want to cooperate. Hope everyone survived the week without any problems.

Wonderful I can't wait to hear about the concert

Hope everyone has a great day!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-27 08:06:00

Saturday!!

Hi HG, Belinda, Jeanne, Sara, Jackie, Aya, Olivia & Wonderful!

Jeanne it was nice meeting you too, and Olivia & Aya on FB!!

Olivia I'm sorry for the way you're feeling

My mother has arrived and is out doing my grocery shopping...mother's are GREAT!!

I need to finish packing so I can leave in the morning, hope everyone enjoys the rest of their day!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-28 15:41:00

Saturday!!

Happy Saturday MENA!!

Where is everyone at?? :unsure:

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-28 11:04:00

Monday!!!

Aww Mandy sorry about your foot and I hope everything is ok with your SO in Alexandria. I know from reading the news that Egypt has been experience chronic down periods without electricity during Ramadan this year and it's a real problem so it certainly could be network issues. For years I used to get so mad and suspicious when when dh and I were talking online and he'd keep getting disconnected. I thought he was messing with me and I was so frustrated. Then I lived there for a summer and he got us internet access at our apartment. We'd go without electricity in the hot hot hot summer sometimes for several hours and the internet was always off and on. Sometimes it was off for days, So then I knew and understood how it is there and I learned my lesson.

Thanks SisJ, Wonderful, Andrea and Olivia...Olivia I am so frustrated. I hope it is just a network problem and nothing serious is wrong, and I just tried calling him again and the phone is off, but I know he is notorious for not charging his cell phone until the battery dies :bonk:

I'm trying to stay calm and not get upset with him, but considering the type of day I'm having its not easy for me to do

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-30 15:39:00

Monday!!!

Good Morning/Afternoon MENA!! Happy Monday!!

Well my monday is not off to a good start...I had to communte to work today, which is always a bummer, realized I left some work pants back home in FL and some shoes (looks like I'll be going shopping later), my baby started preschool today and I wasn't there to see him off on his first day :crying:

I sliced my foot open this morning, and I've been trying to get ahold of Mohamed all last night and today. He had an emergency and had to travel from Cairo to Alexandria yesterday, and its strange because usually when I call him, after so long if he doesn't answer the call disconnects, but now it just keeps ringing and ringing, idk if there are network issues or what. So my monday has not been good at all, but I have a feeling tomorrow will bring me some relief..I hope :crying:

Hope everyone has good monday!!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-30 11:01:00

Last Tuesday of the Month

Hi Wonderful and HG!!

Yes Andrea I am very excited to go back, I can't believe this time has finally come. I remember submitting the petition and thinking OMG 5-6 months is sooooo long!!!! :blush:

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-31 11:30:00

Last Tuesday of the Month

Good Morning Olivia & Jeanne

Good morning everyone else!!

I can't believe August is over too, this year has gone by way too fast. September is a busy month for me, next week I'm having surgery and then 10 days later I'm leaving for Egypt and to prepare for our interview.

My time in Detroit is going ok, I'm able to see a lot of old friends which has been nice. Mohamed finally called me yesterday and thankfully all is well, he was returning to Cairo this morning.

Hope everyone has a great day!!

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-31 09:29:00

Ramadan & overbearing WASP family

I sent the following email back tonight:

I am just opening this email as I do not use this account anymore. Had I seen this letter before,I would have replied to tell you how dare you say such things about me and my future husband. Do not try to contact me. Do not try to speak to me. I do not want your advice, emails, or letters.

Hopefully this will get the message across

Wow, your aunt seems worse than your mother (no offense). As Jenn said, she does have a valid point about marriage, but thats the same no matter who you marry. You didn't share the rest of the email but I can only imagine what she said. I think you did the right thing by replying to her in a calm, mature way and hopefully she gets the point. But your family is thinking that you are changing for your fiance/husband, when really this is your choice when you became muslim. I have no room to give advice on this matter, as I'm in some what the same situation, but I think the longer you hold off telling them that you're muslim, the more likely they will resent him because they will feel that your change in faith is because of him and/or his influence on you.

I wish you the best of luck

mandyu1

Female

Egypt

2010-08-18 19:47:00