ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
PhilippinesA little bit of good news today.....
QUOTE (Eros_the_Plumber @ Mar 10 2009, 03:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello Everyone,
I just got a little bit of good news today....our application for I129F has been approved...

sorry I am to excited to search, for those who have been through this already

what is the next move?

Where the application goes next?
Is now too early for her to start preparing the required documents like NOCENOMAR and the other documents like that?

kicking.gif

On March 10, 2009, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E). Please follow any instructions on the notice. If you move before you receive the notice, call customer service.
good.gif


on to NVC to be assigned a case number.


QUOTE (Eros_the_Plumber @ Mar 10 2009, 03:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Asian @ Mar 10 2009, 04:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congratulations! You better start to collect your documents now so she wouldn't be rush when the appointment of interview and medical will come. If she don't have passport she should apply now and get the CENOMAR. Goodluck.


Thank you all....

Yes, i was thinking about starting to get documents on my side....starting this week
and yes she already has a valid passport which is a good start ....

Is this the step called NOA2 in the forum?
Thanks again...


yap. Congrats. good.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-10 18:47:00
PhilippinesBank of America Secured Card
That's a good way to start building a credit history. you might shop around to see if there are any with lower or no annual fee and lower APR.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-02-21 16:40:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
QUOTE (Michael and Milahjean @ Mar 11 2009, 09:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sunandmoon @ Mar 10 2009, 07:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (DARUMA07 @ Mar 10 2009, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We will be filing in July.... Just one more thing for them to take our money... laughing.gif


yeah, but look at the positive side. AOS, good for 2 years $1010. cost per year $505. Removing Conditions, good for
10 years $ 535. cost per year $53.50. Thats a bargain. laughing.gif


Many K-1s overlook the inflated fees related to the follow up after arriving in the US. We are CR-1 from 2006 and just out of curiousity I checked today's fees related to the I-130 submittal for CR-1 thru the Removal of Conditions - I-130 $355, I-864 Affidavit of Support (NVC) $70, DS-230 (NVC) $355, I-751 $465 and Biometrics $80 - total of $1325. For K-1, the I-129F is $455 and the AOS is $930 + $80 within 3 months of arrival in the USA, plus the I-751 expenses 2 years later. Yipes!!!

With CR-1 you have an immigrant visa at POE, you arrive in the US eligible to work right away, your SS card arrives soon after automatically and there's no AOS. Can't figure why so many chose the K-1 route. Even back in 2006-2007 from I-130 submittal to visa interview we were wrapped up in 9 months.

Can figure why few follow the CR-1 route. Just my thoughts.

Mike


your right, the CR Visa is better in the long run. I guess everyone choses which visa which best fits their situation. before filing the I-129f, we considered getting married in the Philippines, but then if would have been a few months before I could file for K-3 or CR Visa. At that point in time, the quickest way to be together was file for the fiance visa.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-15 11:49:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
QUOTE (DARUMA07 @ Mar 10 2009, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We will be filing in July.... Just one more thing for them to take our money... laughing.gif


yeah, but look at the positive side. AOS, good for 2 years $1010. cost per year $505. Removing Conditions, good for
10 years $ 535. cost per year $53.50. Thats a bargain. laughing.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-10 18:44:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
QUOTE (RonMay @ Mar 9 2009, 05:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sunandmoon @ Mar 9 2009, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was curious how many members will be filing to Remove Conditions in 2009. We'll be filing in June of this year. members who only visit VJ once in awhile, let us know how things are going.


im removing my condition starting april... my card will expire july 07... thanks for making this thread coz i have a concern myself lol... my 90 days will start on april 7th probably and as much as i wanted to get it done, we might be moving to florida this coming may 1st (God willing). and maybe we should wait perhaps? ... so is there another interview? or its just gona be biometrics and thats it... just curios and i wonder whats the average days/months to get approved and have ur 10 yr GC at hand after filing... thanks all and i really wish we can get together on this one!!!

God bless!!!


Thanks for posting. looks like you'll be able to file pretty soon. I have a couple of months to brush up on removing conditions. the timeline on VJ shows 117 days from filing to apprval at CSC. hopefully we'll both be able to sail thru the process without an interview. maybe more will join in and we can share info and experiences.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-09 19:19:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
I was curious how many members will be filing to Remove Conditions in 2009. We'll be filing in June of this year. members who only visit VJ once in awhile, let us know how things are going.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-09 17:08:00
PhilippinesFiance Letter of Intent closer to interview
QUOTE (Mister_Bill @ Mar 15 2009, 12:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (AaronM @ Mar 15 2009, 09:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (abbynorm2 @ Mar 15 2009, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (abbynorm2 @ Mar 15 2009, 07:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (tanging-mahal @ Mar 14 2009, 12:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi.
The Fiance Letter of Intent which will be closer to interview date do we still say

United States Department of Homeland Security
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services
USCIS
California Service Center
P.O. Box 10130
Laguna Niguel , CA 92607-1013

or put something else?

thanks


All I did was use the original I saved on my computer, and added the words "I continue to support the K1 Visa for Miss abbynorm1"
I didn't put that on the letter she will sign because her being at the interview is good enough evidence that she still supports the visa.
Good luck


You also want to put the Manila Embassy address (1201 Roxas Blvd manila, Ph 1000)


Mr. Bill , when your K-packet arrives from air21 . All it is , is a notebook and instruction to go too the Usembassy in Manila website . For all the instructions for the Visa , and in the Usembassy in Manila website . It says you need a letter of intent for the interview , under documents needed at interview . So therefore you need it , if they ask for it . They can deny your visa , does'nt mean if they did'nt ask you . They won't ask anyone else for it , each case is different . And they treat it as such , same as all questions they ask in interview are the same with person by person . And for your information , my fiancee was asked for the letter of intent to marry from both of us . And she passed the interview , and allready received her visa .


Show me where:

What are the documents a K-1 applicant needs to submit?

A fiancé(e) is considered an intending immigrant and therefore must present documents similar to those required for an immigrant visa applicant. These include: a valid Philippine passport; a copy of the applicant's birth certificate issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO) and printed on NSO security paper; legal documents proving the termination of a previous marriage; NBI clearance; police certificates from all foreign countries where the applicant lived for at least six months starting at the age of 16; evidence of the relationship with the petitioner; evidence of financial support; a medical examination completed by St. Luke’s Medical Center Extension Clinic and visa photographs. Evidence must be presented that the couple met in person within the past two years before the petition was filed.

http://manila.usemba...v/wwwh3204.html


I agree, it is not a required document. it would come under the catagory of Evidence of Genuine Engagement.
http://manila.usemba...ov/wwwfk1en.pdf
I will agree it is a good idea, but to say it is a required document, I do not believe is correct.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-15 15:51:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
QUOTE (Michael and Milahjean @ Mar 11 2009, 09:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sunandmoon @ Mar 10 2009, 07:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (DARUMA07 @ Mar 10 2009, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We will be filing in July.... Just one more thing for them to take our money... laughing.gif


yeah, but look at the positive side. AOS, good for 2 years $1010. cost per year $505. Removing Conditions, good for
10 years $ 535. cost per year $53.50. Thats a bargain. laughing.gif


Many K-1s overlook the inflated fees related to the follow up after arriving in the US. We are CR-1 from 2006 and just out of curiousity I checked today's fees related to the I-130 submittal for CR-1 thru the Removal of Conditions - I-130 $355, I-864 Affidavit of Support (NVC) $70, DS-230 (NVC) $355, I-751 $465 and Biometrics $80 - total of $1325. For K-1, the I-129F is $455 and the AOS is $930 + $80 within 3 months of arrival in the USA, plus the I-751 expenses 2 years later. Yipes!!!

With CR-1 you have an immigrant visa at POE, you arrive in the US eligible to work right away, your SS card arrives soon after automatically and there's no AOS. Can't figure why so many chose the K-1 route. Even back in 2006-2007 from I-130 submittal to visa interview we were wrapped up in 9 months.

Can figure why few follow the CR-1 route. Just my thoughts.

Mike


your right, the CR Visa is better in the long run. I guess everyone choses which visa which best fits their situation. before filing the I-129f, we considered getting married in the Philippines, but then if would have been a few months before I could file for K-3 or CR Visa. At that point in time, the quickest way to be together was file for the fiance visa.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-15 11:49:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
QUOTE (DARUMA07 @ Mar 10 2009, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We will be filing in July.... Just one more thing for them to take our money... laughing.gif


yeah, but look at the positive side. AOS, good for 2 years $1010. cost per year $505. Removing Conditions, good for
10 years $ 535. cost per year $53.50. Thats a bargain. laughing.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-10 18:44:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
QUOTE (RonMay @ Mar 9 2009, 05:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sunandmoon @ Mar 9 2009, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was curious how many members will be filing to Remove Conditions in 2009. We'll be filing in June of this year. members who only visit VJ once in awhile, let us know how things are going.


im removing my condition starting april... my card will expire july 07... thanks for making this thread coz i have a concern myself lol... my 90 days will start on april 7th probably and as much as i wanted to get it done, we might be moving to florida this coming may 1st (God willing). and maybe we should wait perhaps? ... so is there another interview? or its just gona be biometrics and thats it... just curios and i wonder whats the average days/months to get approved and have ur 10 yr GC at hand after filing... thanks all and i really wish we can get together on this one!!!

God bless!!!


Thanks for posting. looks like you'll be able to file pretty soon. I have a couple of months to brush up on removing conditions. the timeline on VJ shows 117 days from filing to apprval at CSC. hopefully we'll both be able to sail thru the process without an interview. maybe more will join in and we can share info and experiences.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-09 19:19:00
PhilippinesPhilippine Forum Removing Conditions Thread
I was curious how many members will be filing to Remove Conditions in 2009. We'll be filing in June of this year. members who only visit VJ once in awhile, let us know how things are going.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-09 17:08:00
PhilippinesFiance Letter of Intent closer to interview
QUOTE (Mister_Bill @ Mar 15 2009, 12:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (AaronM @ Mar 15 2009, 09:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (abbynorm2 @ Mar 15 2009, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (abbynorm2 @ Mar 15 2009, 07:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (tanging-mahal @ Mar 14 2009, 12:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi.
The Fiance Letter of Intent which will be closer to interview date do we still say

United States Department of Homeland Security
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services
USCIS
California Service Center
P.O. Box 10130
Laguna Niguel , CA 92607-1013

or put something else?

thanks


All I did was use the original I saved on my computer, and added the words "I continue to support the K1 Visa for Miss abbynorm1"
I didn't put that on the letter she will sign because her being at the interview is good enough evidence that she still supports the visa.
Good luck


You also want to put the Manila Embassy address (1201 Roxas Blvd manila, Ph 1000)


Mr. Bill , when your K-packet arrives from air21 . All it is , is a notebook and instruction to go too the Usembassy in Manila website . For all the instructions for the Visa , and in the Usembassy in Manila website . It says you need a letter of intent for the interview , under documents needed at interview . So therefore you need it , if they ask for it . They can deny your visa , does'nt mean if they did'nt ask you . They won't ask anyone else for it , each case is different . And they treat it as such , same as all questions they ask in interview are the same with person by person . And for your information , my fiancee was asked for the letter of intent to marry from both of us . And she passed the interview , and allready received her visa .


Show me where:

What are the documents a K-1 applicant needs to submit?

A fiancé(e) is considered an intending immigrant and therefore must present documents similar to those required for an immigrant visa applicant. These include: a valid Philippine passport; a copy of the applicant's birth certificate issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO) and printed on NSO security paper; legal documents proving the termination of a previous marriage; NBI clearance; police certificates from all foreign countries where the applicant lived for at least six months starting at the age of 16; evidence of the relationship with the petitioner; evidence of financial support; a medical examination completed by St. Luke’s Medical Center Extension Clinic and visa photographs. Evidence must be presented that the couple met in person within the past two years before the petition was filed.

http://manila.usemba...v/wwwh3204.html


I agree, it is not a required document. it would come under the catagory of Evidence of Genuine Engagement.
http://manila.usemba...ov/wwwfk1en.pdf
I will agree it is a good idea, but to say it is a required document, I do not believe is correct.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-15 15:51:00
PhilippinesManila Embassy K1 Visa Guide
QUOTE (HappyDancer @ Mar 17 2009, 10:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Capt Ewok: Where are you? Help here please?


I'll try to PM him later...
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-17 12:45:00
PhilippinesManila Embassy K1 Visa Guide
QUOTE (Mister_Bill @ Mar 16 2009, 07:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why not just pull the lock off the thread, and let the VJ members update it as necessary? It seem to work for most of the other forums. If the VJ Admin can do it, just pin the USEM and CFO website links to the top of the thread, and let things run wild for a while.


I was also thinking along those lines. might be the easiest thing to do. instead of the subtitle reading Newbies Read the Guide.... it can say," Please limit posts to updates, changes or additions." The Guide can still be a valuable resource to Philippine Members.
if any others have suggestions, please feel free to post them. I appreciate the input made by members to this thread. good.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-17 12:11:00
PhilippinesManila Embassy K1 Visa Guide
just to start, this is from Embassy website

Visa Delivery
The issued visa will be delivered to the applicant's designated address by Air 21 (the Embassy's authorized courier service provider) within 7 to 10 working days. The visa delivery fee, which is determined by the courier service, is paid by the applicant. This fee to the courier service is separate from any fees paid to the U.S. Government. Applicants do not need return to the Embassy to pick up their issued visas.

You may direct visa delivery inquiries to Air21 U.S. Embassy service hotline at 879-4747 or to the U.S. Embassy page at the Air21 website http://www.air21.com.ph/.


“K” Visa Application Fee Accepted at Banco De Oro (BDO)
Payment for “K” nonimmigrant visa application fee is now accepted at 210 Banco de Oro (BDO) branches within Metro Manila and other key cities in the Philippines. By January 2009, application fee payment will be accepted in all BDO branches nationwide. For a complete list of BDO branches currently accepting payment, you may visit BDO’s web site at http://www.bdo.com.p.../US_payment.htm.

Edited by sunandmoon, 16 March 2009 - 06:05 PM.

sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-16 18:01:00
PhilippinesManila Embassy K1 Visa Guide

sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-16 13:05:00
PhilippinesManila Embassy K1 Visa Guide
QUOTE (Haole @ Mar 15 2009, 04:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Main things out of date are there's is no longer Document verification.
Delbros is no longer the courier. It's Air 21 now.
You no longer pay for the DS 157 at BPI.
No doubt a few more I missed.


those are things I've seen members posting are now outdated. maybe the thread could be unlocked so updates could be posted in the thread.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2009-03-15 18:08:00
PhilippinesHow hard is a tourist visa to get
best of luck with the process of obtaining the K-1 visa good.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-09-11 15:17:00
PhilippinesHow hard is a tourist visa to get
QUOTE (maliciant @ Sep 11 2008, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How long does the tourist visa take?

Are you most likely to get denied the visa, or to get refused entry at PoE?

What counts as strong ties, I think I've already ruled out the strongest ties, with the exception of the return trip ticket which of course she'd have?


1. 2 to 3 months for a Tourist Visa.

2. More likely to be denied Tourist Visa. would not be denied entry at POE, unless Immigration Officer felt she was entering country other than as a visitor.

3. Essentially, the visa officer needs to see that the applicant has compelling reasons to return to the Philippines. By law, the burden of proof is on the applicant to show that he or she qualifies for the visa. This proof may come in many forms, but when considered together, it must be strong enough for the interviewing officer to conclude that the applicant’s ties to the Philippines will compel him or her to return at the end of a temporary stay in the United States.

EVIDENCE OF TIES


Ties are the aspects of one’s life that bind him or her to his or her place of residence, including family relationships, employment and possessions. In the case of younger applicants, who may not have had an opportunity to establish such ties, interviewing officers may look at educational status, grades, the situation of their parents, and the applicant's long-range plans and prospects in the Philippines. As each person's situation is different, there is no set answer as to what constitutes adequate ties.

The interviewing consular officer may request supporting documents during the interview. Be prepared to present evidence of the applicant’s or the applicant’s parents’ (if the applicant is a minor) ties and financial status in the Philippines such as :


1. Bank statements for the last three (3) months and both current and former bank account passbooks

2. Employment certification including salary, tenure and position

3. Form W-2

4. Income tax return with Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) or bank stamp

5. Audited financial statement with BIR or bank stamp

6. Pay slips for the last three (3) months

7. Credit card statements for the prior three months

8. Vehicle registration with official receipt

9. Land titles (no certified copies please)

10. Pictures of family, home or business

11. Wedding photos

12. Marriage certificate printed on the Philippine National Statistics Office security paper, if applicable

13. Birth certificate printed on the Philippine National Statistics Office security paper

14. For students, certificate of school registration

15. Certification of membership to legitimate organization(s)
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-09-11 14:50:00
Philippinesplane ticket from CEB to LAS
QUOTE (MJ3lasvegas @ Oct 17 2008, 03:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
is PAL the ONLY airlines offering the 20% discount? hawaiian ailines got good deals..dont they have the 20%discount too? lol whistling.gif


my wife received the First time immigrant discount when she flew PAL back in '07. i haven't heard of other airlines offering similar discount. I also picked PAL for ease of transfer since she was flying from Davao to SFO. SFO was her final destination, it also was her POE. it made her alittle more comfortable going thru immigration and customs knowing I was in the arrival area.

Edited by Roy and Yazi, 18 October 2008 - 06:53 PM.

sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-18 18:52:00
PhilippinesHow you know you have been touched?
don't worry, before long you'll be a virgin no more....


sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-26 00:16:00
PhilippinesHow you know you have been touched?
oh.... a thread about touching....


sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-20 18:35:00
PhilippinesMga Kapatid, Nagwagi Tayo
just don't let anyone pull your chain. it's not worth it.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-26 00:49:00
PhilippinesVermont Filers for K1..dont hold your breath...
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Oct 19 2008, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
truth is ANYONE in Vermont dont hold your breath, mine sat there 6 months with nothing until it was moved, continue to complain, complain complain to your reps and any one that will listen


eros, hopefully will not take that long to receive your NOA2. I'll send some positive vibes your way. by sometime next summer, you'll be doing the kicking.gif when your visa is approved in Manila.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-19 14:06:00
PhilippinesVermont Filers for K1..dont hold your breath...
QUOTE (eros222 @ Oct 19 2008, 10:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am really upset........what the heck are they doing up there...sleeping !!!!

(and the snow has not arrived yet)

8 months behind...still processing February.....

I-129F Petition for Alien Fiance(e) K-1/K-2 - Not yet married - fiance and/or dependent child February 01, 2008


crying.gif


don't let that concern you. the processing times on the USCIS website for K-1's are not accurate. there are members who received their NOA1's in Feb who now have their visas.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-19 13:16:00
PhilippinesWhere is Sheriff Uling?
QUOTE (RonMay @ Oct 25 2008, 06:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (2ond journey @ Oct 25 2008, 06:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
why you want him back? Are you seriouse

let him rest in peace. He was pethetic person


i believe thats uncalled for.
we know sheriff uling and he's been great to the phil forum and here in vj ever since i know him way way way back then when i just started here in vj...


good.gif agree. I think most in the Forum would also agree.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-25 23:18:00
Philippinesfirst time posting in philippines forum
QUOTE (chuckb @ Oct 26 2008, 03:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (narzel @ Oct 26 2008, 05:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I just got my approval for i 129f petition well got it online not in the mail yet but has been sent just wondering what to expect next and best steps to take i am starting to gather my financial stuff but had some questions on what i should gather
i have a copy of tax transcript from 2007 but not actual return should i order the actual return
i dont have a savings other than 401 do i just put whats in my checking account or do i need to gather info on my 401
my work info should be pretty ez
any help on what to expect next is appreciated


You need to show you are above poverty level either earnings or assets or a combination of both (try not to confuse them if you can help it!). Using Assets, you have to show at least three years of poverty level. I-134 if I remember correctly is 100%. I'd still be prepared to show at least 125% of poverty level. You have to show that for the AOS and the I-864 eventually. If you can show it on earnings, I wouldn't worry about Assets. Transcripts are fine, would be better if you had three years of tax return data, but if I recall, not required fo the I-134. You'll need it later though...

Thought you could only order a transcript of a return? Maybe I'm missing something...

Chuck B.


you can order a copy of your return, but there is a charge for it and it takes longer. no need anyway, a transcript will do...
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-26 17:36:00
PhilippinesTHANK YOU!
Congrats good.gif good.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-26 00:51:00
Philippinesproud of my work
here's a one for you charles...


sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-27 21:04:00
PhilippinesThings getting tough at my workplace
Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work


ESCAPEE Definition: A fart that slips out while peeing or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are next to the farter, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee) Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun's pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN Definition: A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

####### BURGLAR Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the ####### BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential ####### BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential ####### BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON Definition: A ####### that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

CRACK ####### Definition: A crapper that has seen more ### than a Greyhound Bus. Telltale signs of a CRACK ####### include pubes, piss stains and #### streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget, with a good cleaning, a CRACK ####### can become a SAFE HAVEN.

FREQUENT FLYER Definition: Someone who keeps going in the bathroom to check if it is empty. This always looks bad for that person.

Have you ever heard of the "DRAG BUNT?"- that is when you are walking by a bunch of people and farting the whole time, dragging it by the unknowing victims.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-29 14:59:00
PhilippinesThings getting tough at my workplace
QUOTE (DARUMA07 @ Oct 28 2008, 05:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can I work where you two work? Sign me up! There's nothing like going to work and being abused.... tongue.gif
Gives me Wood..... huh.gif


I can live with the work policy, but the paycheck deductions are killing me...

PAYCHECK GUIDE:
The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:

Gross pay $1,212.02
Income tax $244.40
Outgo tax $45.21
State tax $11.61
Interstate tax $61.10
County tax $6.11
City tax $12.22
Rural tax $4.44
Back tax $1.91
Front tax $1.16
Side tax $1.61
Up tax $2.24
Tic-Tacs $2.98
Thumbtacks $3.93
Carpet tacks $1.98
Stadium tax $2.69
Flat tax $8.32
Surtax $3.46
Corporate tax $2.60
Parking fee $7.00
FICA $81.88
TGIF Fund $9.95
Life insurance $7.85
Health insurance $17.23
Dental insurance $5.50
Mental insurance $5.33
Disability $3.50
Ability $1.25
Liability $3.41
Unreliability $10.99
Coffee $16.85
Coffee Cups $66.51
Floor rental $16.85
Chair rental $1.32
Desk rental $14.32
Union dues $25.85
Union don'ts $3.77
Cash advance $0.69
Cash retreats $121.35
Overtime $1.26
Undertime $54.83
Eastern time $9.00
Central time $8.00
Mountain time $7.00
Pacific time $6.00
Time Out $12.21
Oxygen $10.02
Water $16.54
Heat $51.42
Cool air $26.83
Hot air $28.13
Miscellaneous $113.29
Sundry $14.09
Various $8.01
========================
Net Take Home Pay $6.02
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-28 19:43:00
PhilippinesThings getting tough at my workplace
QUOTE (iahmjpinoy @ Oct 27 2008, 10:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sunandmoon @ Oct 27 2008, 10:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
NEW OFFICE POLICY - EFFECTIVE October 27, 2008 sad.gif


Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes , Versace dresses and carry a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Breaks:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

If you thought your company policy was bad, check out what I got today.... blink.gif
NEW EMPLOYEE POLICY - EFFECTIVE October 27, 2008

As a result of the money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down our number of personnel. Under this plan older employees will be asked to go on to early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger employees who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out our older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel).

Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retiring Early Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination)

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedures, he or she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early
Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment), unless he or she already has AIDS (Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse).

As HERPES or CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES OR CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training ($HIT). This company takes pride in the amount of $HIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more $HIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough $HIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the $HIT that you can stand.


rofl.gif mine not so bad afterall...
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-28 00:55:00
PhilippinesThings getting tough at my workplace
QUOTE (AJAnTESS @ Oct 27 2008, 10:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Very clever and funny, Roy!

By the way, did you change your display name because you are the always hot sun and Yazi is the cool moon that ever wants the earth be between the sun and the moon (eclipse)? laughing.gif laughing.gif laughing.gif


actually you have it reversed, I'm moonlight and Yazi's sunshine tongue.gif
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-28 00:46:00
PhilippinesThings getting tough at my workplace
NEW OFFICE POLICY - EFFECTIVE October 27, 2008 sad.gif


Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes , Versace dresses and carry a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Breaks:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-28 00:12:00
PhilippinesNO MORE DOCUMENT VERIFICATION
QUOTE (PingLocalHostess @ Oct 16 2008, 04:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You waited 6 months for everything to be done. Thats not too bad. You dont have to wait too long. On their website, the estimated time is 8-12 months.


6 months would have been speedy back in '06. took us 9 months.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-10-16 18:35:00
PhilippinesVideos of My Visa Interview Preparations
time does fly. there's a date in your sig I can remember like it was yesterday. Feb. 23, 2007. that's the day Yazi arrived at SFO.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-06-05 23:42:00
PhilippinesSetting up a P.O Box CSC jurisdication
QUOTE (jiskat08 @ Nov 1 2008, 11:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ah i see. thanks po for the info... my husband is from WA State.. where will be our papers be sent?

Where to File :
All petitioners filing stand-alone Form I-130 must submit their petitions to the Chicago Lockbox instead of a USCIS Service Center. Form I-130 petitions filed with the Chicago Lockbox will be routed to, and adjudicated at, the appropriate USCIS Service Center. This routing will be based on the petitioner’s place of residence in the United States.
Important: Any Form I-130 filed at an incorrect location will be rejected.


Petitioners who reside in AK, AZ, CA, CO, Guam, HI, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, MI, MN, MS, MT, NE, NV, ND, OH, OR, SD, UT, WA, WI, or WY must file their stand-alone Form I-130s with the Lockbox using the following address:
USCIS
P.O. Box 804625
Chicago, IL 60680-4107


Petitioners who reside in AL, AR, CT, DL, FL, GA, KY, LA, ME, MD, MA, NH, NJ, NM, NY, NC, OK, PA, Puerto Rico, RI, SC, TN, TX, VT, VA, U.S. Virgin Islands, WV, or District of Columbia must file their stand-alone Form I-130 with the Lockbox using the following address:
USCIS
P.O. Box 804616
Chicago, IL 60680-4107


Any U.S. resident petitioner submitting a completed I-130 by courier/express delivery, should use the following address:
USCIS Lockbox
Attn: SAI-130
131 South Dearborn – 3rd Floor
Chicago, IL 60603-5517


http://www.uscis.gov...00045f3d6a1RCRD
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-11-01 14:13:00
PhilippinesSetting up a P.O Box CSC jurisdication
QUOTE (jiskat08 @ Nov 1 2008, 10:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
im sorry but may i please know what is CSC and VSC? What are these?


CSC- California Service center, VSC- Vermont Service Center. Service Center is where petitions are first sent to be adjudicated.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-11-01 13:37:00
PhilippinesDo I need to keep the atm receipt?
QUOTE (PingLocalHostess @ Nov 3 2008, 06:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You need to gather whatever documents you can get your hands on. So YES keep the receipts from western union. As for the ATM receipts, its fine if you didnt keep it. Your fiance can ask for a bank summary. You should get your hands on THAT too. If its a remittance account, it will show your name as the beneficiary.


something like that would be more helpful than the ATM withdrawl receipts. I do not think the ATM receipts matter one way or the other.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-11-03 17:36:00
PhilippinesFiance Waiver
If your talking about VWP ( Visa Waiver Program), the Philippines is not included.
sunandmoonMalePhilippines2008-11-03 22:28:00