ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaUpdate

Wow, Mashallah, sounds like my life! It has been 7-8 months since Brahim arrived and the first 4 months before he found a job was tough. Where I live there isn't much to do and the Muslim community is somewhat far, so being home all day sending endless job applications without any calls back was frustrating for him. He is playing soccer twice a week on a team, so he has found something he likes to do. Alhamdoliallah he found a great job in January (despite the long hours) that is close to our house and that he can bike to. He is starting to get the hang of things here and I should have had more patience in the beginning with explaining everything. Inshallah once we move out of my parents house in December we can start to live like an actual couple and a visit from his parents will ease his depression here in the states. Brahim only came to the states to be with me, which is very clear as he hates it here. Inshallah I will finish school soon and we can move to Morocco.


Aww Kenza, as I read your reply I felt like we were living in the exact same boat. Our Muslim community is very far where we live, so much so, that we got lost and Aziz gave up on looking. Its a hidden treasure somewhere. In the beginning Aziz sent tons of applications, online profiles are not very helpful if they require a lot of US based information and references. So, of course he never got any call backs. I even helped him with a great resume that looked Americanzied that someone had suggested on VJ, but even that didn't help. What did help is Aziz actually going to places and talking with the manager and saying hey, I don't speak great English, but I am a hard worker. Now, his job requires him to talk all day. I am so happy that your husband found a job so quickly and so close to your house too. Yes, once you move out, I'm sure things will be different for you, but it will be a great experience where you will trully learn a lot about each other. Aziz feels the same way sometimes, but says that there are a lot of things he loves about being here. Inshallah things will get better for Brahim, especially wiht his parents visiting. I'm sure Aziz feels like he misses home when he sees his nieces getting bigger, people getting married, and things just happening with his family that he cannot be a part of. So we are planning to visit sometime next year to surprise his mother. I would love to raise my kids in Morocco, but worry about not finding the kind of job that I want. Good luck with school, and I wish you guys the best.

Cassie
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-06 04:39:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdate

I'm happy that things are going well for you both.
That first year is hard. You talk about him hating to be dependent on you but it was me who hated him being so dependent on me! Everytime he wanted to go somewhere, I had to go with him. He was afraid that someone would engage him in conversation and he wanted me to be there in case he didn't understand. When he wanted to make a phone call, I had to do it for him. He was too scared to take the driving license exam for the first year. He was afraid of failing. I had to chauffer him around everywhere. I even had to drive myself home from the hospital after the birth of our first son. Posted Image It definitely caused some strain in our marriage.
Thankfully he gained the confidence to start taking risks and he is very independent now. My advice to anyone is don't coddle them too much when they get here!


Thank you. Yup a lot of my friends always said the first year is hard and I am finally realizing it, but glad we are making. Some people are not so fortunate so I am just trying to be greatful. Wow, your experience is a little different then I have heard but understandable. Aziz didn't want to socialize with anyone and if he didn't understand, he just laughed along and nodded. I had to literally pull him and nag him to call someone I had met that was Moroccan that wanted to have lunch with him or just any friend. Sometimes I feel that he just wants to dive into too much things without thinking or taking the time. He thinks he can magically take the drivers license exam without practicing (thinking he could practice after he gets it :blink: , but finally listening when I took him out driving and showed him he needed to practice. I'm glad that your husband gained the confidence that he needed. You guys definitely have a beautiful family together and I wish you continued happiness.

Cassie
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-06 04:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdate

Hello Cassie,

Thank you for posting your story! My sweetheart will arrive tomorrow, ISA and I am worried about all these things. He has already expressed to me that he will hate having to depend on me. I know it will be tough until he is able to work but we will hang in there. At least there is a lot to do here in Los Angeles. Ah yes, patience! It is my time to learn this trade...should be interesting!:help:

Well, I am happy you two are doing well! :D


Hey Zaytoona,

LOL aww well congrats on his arrival. If you were like I was I was jittery until he finally walked through those doors and felt like I was in a scene of some love story. I think many people go through that experience, but thats great that he would have more opportunities in LA. My hubby keeps telling me that we should move there. Yup patience is that virtue and I sure do wish you guys the best of luck. Look forward to your update.

Cassie
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-06 04:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdate
Hello Everyone,

Okay so it will be 7 months that my habibi has been here in the states already and it seems like FOREVER. I probably should have waited for a one year update, but wth I just felt like posting. When Aziz first arrived, all I kept getting was the I need to work and pouting for about a month. It took a lot for me to be patient with all of this, but we have been great. I can definitely say that like everyone who has posted before, you do have your moments of "what are we doing," to "sometimes I love to hate you," but through it all, we love each other and know why we have sacrificed so much. In the beginning, I felt like I was putting too much on him and expecting too much. For example, going shopping and asking him what he wants and what he thinks we need. Duh me, didn't occur to me that he is shocked by an overload of things so what could normally be a 30 minute trip takes 3 hours. So for those of you whose spouses aren't here yet, I would recommend that you get savy with that patience and be ready to educate and explain. They are coming to a whole new world that is just as shocking to them as we were when we went to thier countries.

After visiting my folks for Christmas for about a month, he quickly found a job in January and has been working in the airport since. He loves his job, but would like another. Mind you, I just keep telling him to be patient because many people are without a job. He quickly realized that when he met sommeone from Iraq who had been without a job for a year. I think the expectations have somewhat overcome him, but he is trying to deal with it. Today was his first day of class at a local college and I have got to say, I am so proud of him. Almost felt like I was dropping of my baby on his first day of class, but I know thats different. He really has become very independent. Joined a soccer team, bought a bike, and meets with friends outside of work. Another suggestion, it put a toll on us in the beginning my husband hating to feel dependent on me. Thus, I would recommend finding outlets that they enjoy doing if they aren't able to find a job quickly and afterwards. Networking really helps, as it helped him to get a job.

Right now, we are at a really happy place and couldn't ask for more. As I look back on everything, we have come a long way and I just hope that we can continue to be as happy and succesfull for the rest of our lives together. I really appreciate all the help that my VJ family has given us and I look forward to hearing everyone's experience or continued advice.

Cassie (F)
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-05 16:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe best way to wait
I took several trips to see my hubby throughout this process, but was only to do this because I had breaks during school. It is expensive and not for everyone and that was brought up during his interview. How I was able to travel so much and stay so long, but they accepted the fact that I was a student.

You guys make a great couple and I wish you the best of luck....Aww that is said about Spain. I was actually considering doing my internship and then NGO work, but due to student loans, don't think that is an option.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-04-30 23:33:00
Middle East and North AfricaHello from the USA!
Congrats...glad to hear you guys made it back safe and sound. Unfortunate about your interview experience, but good to know you guys are well adjusted. Best of luck to you both
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-21 22:51:00
Middle East and North AfricaArab American Festival
I remember the festival being held somewhere else last year...I know a lot of ppl here in MENA have gone to some of the others. Hopefully they will have some good insight to offer. When I went to the website it seemed interesting. Too bad we will be both relocating and settling in that time.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-31 04:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaCasa Interview Results
Wow your interview was extensive. My hubby experienced the same. I hope that whatever reviewing he is doing does not take up a lot of time. Thus, I am praying for a fast approval. I wish you both the best of luck in your future together as a family.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-25 00:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaGUESS WHO GOT APPROVED!!!!! CAIRO EGYPT
congrats...so happy for you both. I know that must have been the best feeling ever. Now the trip home!
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-06-24 08:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaDisclose prior diversity lottery entries?
My husband applied for it, but never won it. They didn't ask him any questions pertaining to that during his interview nor was it asked on the forms we filled out. Hope that helps.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-06-27 20:56:00
Middle East and North AfricaInterview Review
Congrats...that approval seems to be an eternity. The same happened to us with the CO, she seemed to already know what she needed to know based on what she had in her computer. They also don't give you enough time to respond. Sorry about the runaround though, hope that he is able to pick up that visa soon.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-07-05 08:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaWE GOT IT!!!!

Zaytoona - We did provide the I-693. The instructions said that we needed the vaccination portion. So we took his vaccination document from morocco and had it transcribed. It cost us about $50.

Casandra!!!! Girl I miss talking with you. We got it!!! I'm so excited. The crappy part about finding out is that I found out on the day I went offshore. So we weren't even together to celebrate. Houston is okay. We still don't know anybody. We're both kind of lonely. Abdou especially when i am gone. But we will make it work. And thank goodness he will be able to get a job soon. Hopefully.


Hey Tasha,

I miss you too. I am excited for you both, feels like it has been a LONG journey. That does suck that you were offshore, but you will be able to celebrate once you are home. Aziz and I are looking to move within the next 3 weeks. Has Abdou been to the mosque or some of the Islamic centers there? I know with Ramadan coming up soon, he will be bound to make friends and hopefully find a job soon. Good luck and keep me posted. Let me know if you need anything.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-07-21 02:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaWE GOT IT!!!!
Congrats that is such great news. We really need to catch up. How are you guys doing in Houston?
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-07-14 12:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaFriday
Hello MENA,

It is burning over here in Florida. Have enjoyed being off from school. This Friday is filled with some fun packing. We are moving next week and HATE the moving process, but we will get this done. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-07-23 14:43:00
Middle East and North AfricaNew MENA baby and happy times
Aww congrats!!! He is so beautiful and congrats on your anniversary.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-08-01 22:23:00
Middle East and North Africadivorce rate/mena/couples
From an academic standpoint concerning MENA marriages to American citizens. there are tons of research articles out there. To give a specific number would be tricky. For my thesis, I conducted research on women that had married Muslim men from various countries and what I obtained was not appalling, but the reasons and stats were pretty much based on acculturation/assimilation, conversion/expectations, known barriers,etc. In my study, out of 1000 married couples, it was found that 63% of women married to Muslim men from various countries were more likely to experience a separation or divorce within the first five years. Although this was just a small sample, you could see where I'm going, but still even with a sample the stats are tricky. Based on what I see here on VJ, I would agree with others that it would be 50/50 for new couples. I don't really see many older couples pop it, sometimes the updates are good and bad though. Like you said it really depends on a lot of issues. I can understand why those that have been divorced would stop posting. Like others have said, it could be not needing VJ, being ashamed and various other things. I think that you have a lot of courage to share what you have concerning your marriage because it is not easy. I feel that you are right in that, in your situation, people change and expectations change and that is often what leads to divorce in certain situations, cultures, and marriages.

I always thought that cultural and religious issues would be a big one, but being on VJ I have come to realize that there are a lot of them. My husband and I just celebrated our 2 year anniversary a few weeks ago and I am greatful. We have discussed everything from roles of women, religion, and cultural issues. Although we do clash sometimes, he knows where I am not willing to change. I grew up with my father being a very strict Muslim, although I did not live with him, I knew his expectations. The way my father is and the way my husband is are two different extremes. Now, with time, I am sure that people will change and perhaps my husband may grow to be a little more pious, but we have discussed that. At first, my husband was uncomfortable with me coming home really late (at night) from classes or going out at night without him, but he understood that my schedule was something I could not help and he just had to be understanding. He was surprised at how busy and independent I was, but did not realize how much help I needed to maintain things. After we fought about it and worked it out, he was able to see that the role he was used to needed to be adjusted. I can say that my husband is a little different from some MENA men in that in his house roles were somewhat untraditional in that both his parents worked and chores were shared equally. From extended family members, it was expected that everyone knew their place and tradition. With that said, I appreciate everything that he does for me. Our marriage is not perfect, but we are happy and willing to compromise where we are and in the future. With any couple and just being married to someone from another country can be challenge. The visa process is tough, but adjusting to each other here is harder.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-07-23 15:17:00
Middle East and North AfricaWhere do you live in the US ?
Jacksonville/Gainesville(now moving), FL
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-08-04 01:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy Birthday Jeanne & Kenza
Happy Birthday ladies hope you enjoy it and have a great day.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-12-20 13:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA CR1/K3/K1 visas PART2
My hubby's interview is tomorrow and I am just full of the most nerves possible. I am trying to keep myself busy by studying. Thank you everyone for all of your help and I will definitiely keep everyone posted.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2009-09-13 13:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaHas your MENA spouse changed their perspective/opinion re: the US after living here for some time?
My husband has been here a year and two months and his plans have not changed. At first, he thought Americans were a certain way and found that most people respect each other, keep to themselves and simply want to do for their families. My husband and I both work, but he still has this ideal of finding a job to make a lot of money. Many of his friends in Morocco keep trying to think of quick ideas like selling phones or doing something like that. However, he is slowly realizing that it takes time and is currently in school and has completed two semesters. Like Jenn, my husband loves many things about America, but also finds that some things are better in Morocco. Getting into politics is another story.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2011-01-07 21:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaMoroccan & Customs
My husband came through MIA over a year ago. I met him at MIA and had to wait 6 hours for him. Granted, I got there like 2 hours early because I thought his plan was supposed to arrive at 2, but it was late one hour and I didn't get to see him until about 6:30 or 7:00pm. I did not know what a big custom hotspot MIA is otherwise I would have arranged everything for JFK. I was a total worried mess by the time he got to me. My husband was the last person to leave out of customs, but thank God I was prepared because we did not miss our flight.

Edited by CasandraYounes, 27 February 2011 - 10:52 PM.

CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2011-02-27 22:51:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow come lots of MENA members don't have Pics posted
wow....I had no idea about that. Checked the sight and I can just imagine what those women must have thought. Makes me think about my pics. My hubby isn't too fond of having pics on here either. I mostly put everything new and recent on facebook and my page is private.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2011-03-05 14:28:00
Middle East and North Africatourist visas for family members in Morocco
I am so glad that someone asked this question because I learned a lot from this post. Aziz and I were hoping to start applying for his parents within the next year and wanted to know how to get the process started. Glad it doesn't take months.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2011-04-04 23:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaMoroccan KHOBZ bread recipe needed
I have been making a lot of Moroccan food since my hubby has been here. Almost two years this coming November. I have had to rely on cookbooks, cooking with alia, and youtube to teach me the traditions. What I have learned is that cooking with alia, for many of the dishes, when she stays traditional they are authentic. For some, I can say I appreciate the adjustments as they help me cook faster and the ingredients are either too expensive or hard to find, like saffron. I bought a mixture specifically to assist me with making the bread and have not mastered up the courage to make it. I am with you though, I think kneeding it in the mixer and then by hand is the best way to go, but the hand work looks so hard.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2011-09-23 18:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy 5th Wedding Anniversary Habibi!
Very beautiful and heartfelt story. Happy 5th Anniversary. Goodness that made me think of how I met my husband. Wishing you guys many more years to come together.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-01-02 13:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaIt's over
Congrats...seems like it has been a long time coming.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-04-05 18:04:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA class of 04-08 ladies
Met in 2007 and filed CR1/K3, ended up doing the CR1 in 2008. Aziz has been here since Nov 09. I consider myself more of a newbie, but I do remember being on here when things were active with the MENA starters. I have more so been coming on to check things out and observe. I really do appreciate everyone posting their experience and insight. I mostly connect with old MENA V'jers on Facebook these days and have met wonderful ladies. Aziz and I are in the Removal of Conditions phase and are due to make our first trip back in less than 2 weeks. We are excited. Feels wierd living in FL since leaving San Antonio, but I do have a different appreciation for it. However, Aziz and I find ourselves wanting more city life and diversity. See a move perhaps in 3 years. Glad to see what everyone is up to these days.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-05-05 00:56:00
Middle East and North AfricaTraveling to Morocco while ROC

Thank you for the update. I'm not sure what you mean by they had to scan and check his paper to ensure he could travel. Could you elaborate on that a little bit?

Thanks!



Sure. The NOA1 that has the barcode is what they tried to scan. They also scanned his previous resident card and I guess made a notation that he had a year to travel.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-07-19 00:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaTraveling to Morocco while ROC

Yes, please let me know. Thanks!


Hey just that I would update you. Hubby came back on Wednesday. He said the only issue was the passport checks took a little longer because they had to scan and check his paper to ensure that he could travel. Once he got here in the states he didn't really have a hassle. Was only told that he should be getting his card soon.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-06-30 03:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaTraveling to Morocco while ROC
My husband and I just traveled to Morocco together and we are in the process of ROC. He present his one year extension letter. He is still there and is due to come back in 2 weeks. My hope as I have read throughout here before we left, that he should not have a problem. My understanding is that they will look at the letter and he should be fine. Will let you know. My hope is that you might get more answers from others that have experienced this before.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-06-12 23:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaHello from beautiful wonderful Morocco!
Glad to hear you made it through that chaos. Made me think of my first trip there. Enjoy your time with your fiance and his family because the time sure does fly.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-09-29 11:12:00
Middle East and North AfricaAOS from F1 student visa interview tomorrow
Congrats. It is a great feeling. Wish you guys the best of luck.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-10-02 20:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA Baby Names
Jenn - Adam is so cute and I think you should be fine with the name

Nawal - I love your story on how you choose the names.

I love this topic. Aziz and I had discussed this WAY before we got married and it was always difficult for me to come up with a name that would be pleasing to both his family and my Panamanian family. Granted if they have an arabic name they might have a spanish middle name. So after years of debate this is a loose list of what we came up with.

Girls:
Aya Maribel
Layla Yamileth
Amina
Alianna
Nahla Karime
Dooniya

Boy:
Ismail because it can either be Ismael
Jamil
Zamir (hubby doesn't want it)
Zayan Estevan
Adan
Adam
Khalil Zaki

Just to name a few. Although I don't know how people would react with that, but thats what we want








CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2009-10-31 12:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaLeave in MENA pls
Glad you were able to make a decision. I hope that things turn out okay and wish you luck on your K1 journey.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-12-19 21:13:00
Middle East and North AfricaLittle Mosque on the Prairie
I have watched only the first few episodes on Hulu. I like it and will continue to watch it.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2012-09-29 11:13:00
Middle East and North AfricaWhat do your husbands do for work when they arrive to USA?
My husband started out in retail at an airport...step up from what he was doing in Morocco. Helps to connect with other MENA men as that is how he got the job. Then he did fast food. He has mainly pursued jobs he is used to. I finally pushed him to go to school to pursue a trade. After a year and a half, he has finished and now is working in his trade.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2013-05-13 19:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaLet's hear it from spouses of Morocco whose marriages are working!

My husband and I have been together going on 7 years next week. We have been married going on 6 years this coming July. I can't say that I have asked for a better partner. We have our moments like every couple and adjusting to him coming here was a little rough for us. I was in grad school and he was not working and missing all things Morocco. My husband is a hard worker and not used to not working. He was only out of work a month, but that really bothered him. Like many others have posted, I pushed my husband to go to the mosque to meet other Arab or Moroccan men more so to meet friends and for job opportunities and both worked out. However, my husband doesn't necessarily care to be around a lot of Moroccans, but 2 of his best friends have since come here and live close to us. To make him feel at home, I have learned to cook a lot of Moroccan dishes and he keeps connected to his family. We go to Morocco as often as we can. My husband quickly enrolled in ESL classes and has graduated in a trade.

 

This past summer we welcomed our son Amir Alexander and Aziz will be taking his oath for citizenship this coming Thursday. Looking forward to so much more and I wish everyone the best in their relationships.

 

temp_4a1e47ad69da640210c5208a9ecb761b.jp


Edited by CasandraYounes, 23 March 2014 - 01:13 AM.

CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2014-03-23 01:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaMoroccan travelling internationally with 2-year GreenCard

My husband and I traveled 2yrs ago when he had his CR1 visa and greencard. We just took his passport and LPR card and all went well.


CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2014-08-30 21:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaSultan's Kitchen

I recently bought the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, and it has been life changing. I highly recommend it for those with Moroccan spouses or anyone else who eats bread a lot. I had never even tried to make bread, and I was scared to work with yeast, but this makes it so easy, and there is no kneading involved. Also, you make a lot of dough at once and then you can just take a piece each day out of the refrigerator and cook it and have fresh bread. And once you have the dough you can also use it in any way - regular bread cooked in the oven, or something closer to naan or Moroccan bread that you fry. I could go on and on...


Wow, thanks for the advice. You are absolutely right because with the money I spend buy bread close to two times aa week, I could really be saving myself. I myself have never tried making bread either or using yeast, except for fried variations. Thanks for the tips and I have made a book list and look forward to getting some of the recommended books.
CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-07 04:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaSultan's Kitchen

Awesome, I'll definitely get it next time around inshaAllah, along with the Blue Corn and Chocolate book.

Also, I am beyond in love with the Kneadlessly Simple book. I made light whole wheat bread this weekend, and it was fabulous <img src="http://www.visajourn...star_smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":star:" border="0" alt="star_smile.gif" /> The only problem I encountered was that it rose too much the second time around and overflowed the pan, but I think that's because it calls for a cool room rise the first time around, and we don't really have a cool room in our hot hot hot apartment. Also, I let it rise for 3 hours while I was out shopping, instead of the 2 it called for. But, it was still very very tasty.

I've got another batch of the pot bread rising at home right now and inshaAllah I'll bake it tonight. I'm going to have to start buying flour in bulk <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/kicking.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":dance:" border="0" alt="kicking.gif" />

I also made creamy potato and roasted garlic soup from the love soup book, and it is delicious too. I *heart* garlic.

Here's a picture of my first pot bread attempt. I ended up getting a 5 quart dutch oven, which is alas, too big. The loaf ended up a little flat, but it was still very very tasty. I'll have to keep my eye out for a 3-4 quart dutch oven on sale some time

<img src="http://img.photobuck...d/100_2225.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />



Your bread looks so yummy...I am glad that the cookbooks list was posted. Its as if God had been listening to me these past few days. I had been looking for new things to change our diet because I feel so drained and awful. Basically we want to start cooking (well more of I) more healthier. I am a cookbook fanatic, but since I have been so busy with school, just let them sit. When my grandmother died, thats what I got. So now with the help of my MENA fam, I can revamp my love for cooking wish dishes from all over. Thanks everyone.

*I need to get on the bandwagon with organic though. Any suggestions for starting small because my hubby doesn't like to overspend at all.

Edited by CasandraYounes, 06 May 2010 - 05:37 AM.

CasandraYounesFemaleMorocco2010-05-06 05:34:00