ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Africa: Sub-SaharanInternet Love
Thanks again IDO for your current and past posts. PLEASE READ WITH A CALM SET OF EYES biggrin.gif I am one of those who has not posted my story because I truly don't want to feel verbal salt thrown into my still fresh wounds. IDO has been brave in sharing and I will say that most of what she has mentioned, has befallen me in a similar way. Although MY story is ,probably, the mother of all stories I still feel that it is ok to share both the good and the bad with others.

I truly rejoice when a couple has been united and I silently cry when another experiences trauma. I only know one side of the journey, and that is the side that many of us share. My husband knows only his side of the journey, but there is no shortage of people who are more than willing to help him "adjust" or "get ahead" in the US. That being said, I welcome everyone's story because I know we are harder on each other when our relationships hit the skids, than the SO's friends are on them.

This is our VJ village and those who have walked the long and hard road have much to share with those who are just beginning their journey. EVEN MORE CALMY SAID, I believe we are all here because we fell in love with and married or intend to marry someone from Sub-Sahara Africa. (Jomo hangs with us too) So with love, if we can help make that path a little smoother for you by alerting you to some pitfalls, please don't be too upset. One little piece of information shared here probably has helped more people than we realize.
Gracias por leer.
chispasFemale02008-02-14 18:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWe finally together here in Washington DC
Is it cold enough for him? jest.gif Welcome Home
chispasFemale02008-02-18 17:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Anniversary to US!!!!
Wow! Time is really flying too fast. Congrats
chispasFemale02008-02-15 22:38:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan2007 tax issue
I was also on the cusp of a tax deadline when I sent my SO the tax forms. I used the forms from the previous years for the same reason as you. That is ok
chispasFemale02008-02-20 16:19:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat would u do ?
QUOTE (JJWashington @ Jan 2 2008, 09:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Idocare, I feel your pain too. My ex is in federal prison for things I cannot mention here. He was first arrested in 2002 and it took me until 2006 before I forgave him. His crimes were not only against me, but also his children and other children. I KNOW the anger and hurt you feel. I also wrote letters to him and to his family which I never sent. I even made recordings of conversations I would have with him. Feel free to pm me and I can give you some other tips I used to work past the hurt. I understand that you are trying to get these women who are so blinded by love to see the signs which may be right in front of them. But they need to hear the message is a different way. This will pass, I promise.


Thanks for posting this JJ. Although you were directing it for IDOCARE, it gave me a warm feeling in my heart to "read" your reflection. Thanks, Gracias, Merci .
Chispas heart.gif
chispasFemale02008-01-03 03:13:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat would u do ?
QUOTE (Omoba @ Dec 23 2007, 11:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can be crazy all by myself and don't need any help.


This has to be the VJ Sub-Saharan quote of the day. headbonk.gif yes.gif
chispasFemale02007-12-23 17:43:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat would u do ?
May I throw another monkey wrench into the question? What if the SO did use you to get a green card, but has "real" emotional issues. Not crazy like a fox or adjustment difficulties, but the kind that is on medication? girlwerewolf2xn.gif What would all do then?
chispasFemale02007-12-23 11:53:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm getting Married!!
Congrats. I can just hear the excitement in your news. Best of life to you both.
chispasFemale02008-02-23 01:16:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHas anyone heard of this?
Many are able to do that overseas. I have seen it done when one person gets a green card or wins the lottery. You can also easily get a degree from the university the same way also.
chispasFemale02008-02-22 13:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWe have an interview date..
Dudo que vaya a tener problemas. Saldra de la entrvista sin problemas.
chispasFemale02008-02-28 14:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanJourney Is over.....

Relish this feeling and soak it all up girl. You have earned it. A dance for you too.
chispasFemale02008-02-06 12:42:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFuneral Bacchanalia
Thanks Chicas,
Yes, I did let him know and his answer was a loud "OH". That was it. Nothing else said even though I have filled him in on the details. It is my perception that he didn't want to know the details. So I respected that. Today, I'll take the list of wants to him and let it alone. I just want to thank you ladies for your input because although I am not US born either, we don't tend to have this issue from our neck of the woods. I was doubting my own core beliefs so your input has really solidified my confidence to stick to what I know best.
chispasFemale02008-03-07 17:35:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFuneral Bacchanalia
QUOTE (Omoba @ Mar 7 2008, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My sympathy for the loss of your sister in law. rose.gif

I would in your special circumstances be very careful paying any large amount to anyone.
Ask your husband who the main person is in the immediate family and deal with that person only or better yet let your husband handle it but
protect yourself financially.

Yes, that is often so in Africa, everyone networks as one and everyone wants to arrange any occassion.

Watch closely what takes place and change your numbers if neccessary, give it only to a certain family member if the calls stress you out too much.
If he is the eldest brother then it would be expected of him to contribute generously.


Hola Chica and thanks for the info. My husband has been MIA to his family. I didn't know that the family hadn't spoken to him until her sister became sicker and the phone calls started pouring in to me. He isn't the oldest one and does have other siblings in Europe too. Hmm
chispasFemale02008-03-07 13:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFuneral Bacchanalia
Hola VJ Familia,
Just wanted to share with you that earlier this week my sister-in-law passed back in Africa. It was a traumatic time for everyone, as she suffered more than necessary by not taking "Western Medication" or believing that her illness was due to "JuJu" that was put on her. (That's another long story) Since her passing, I have received phone calls, flashes, IM, email etc. from everyone claiming to be the person in charge of the arrangements. I haven't made a fiduciary contribution to anyone yet, but am put off by the blatant fighting over who will receive money and who should not get anything. Has anyone gone through this sort of infighting after the death of a family member in Africa? If yes, how did you handle it? I was sent a list with details down to the cost of chairs and snacks. This is quite disturbing to me!
ohmy.gif
P.S. Thanks to Boaz and Dana for helping me decipher some of this mystery. Hugs to all on VJ

Edited by chispas, 07 March 2008 - 01:37 PM.

chispasFemale02008-03-07 13:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCongratulations to 'Destiny's Journey'
Party!!! Much congrats to her.
chispasFemale02008-03-10 11:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGot the phone call!!!!!
Just catching up on the week's messages, and I truly happy to read this one. From experience, once your body knows he has reached the East Coast, your nerves will go into a tailspin. Those hours from East to West were very hard for me as those 3,000 miles seemed like 9,000. Cleaning and cooking for his arrival helps as he might be starved from the flight especially if the airlines makes him buy the $20.00 nasty snacks jest.gif
chispasFemale02008-03-06 14:12:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanOMG!!! T-10 Hours
Wow. He'll be super excited today and have tremendous jetlag. I wish you well on this portion of your journey. BTW, did you hear about the recent violence in Douala, Yaounde and Beu?
chispasFemale02008-02-28 14:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSecond Interviews
QUOTE (Omoba @ Mar 12 2008, 10:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Bump


Sorry that your interview has been so spaced apart. We had one and only one interview and that was prior to his coming to the U.S. Since then, I have had no word of any other interview. Have you received word on why they are taking so long with your case? I don't recall from the prior posts if you have been calling your Rep. or not, but that time seems to be beyond normal.
chispasFemale02008-03-12 17:07:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIT'S FINALLY DONE!!!
Great! Enjoy every minute of this anticipation. It is precious.
rolleyes.gif rolleyes.gif
chispasFemale02008-03-12 16:59:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLets make a chart of where we all are from
Great job Zee
chispasFemale02008-03-14 13:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLets make a chart of where we all are from
QUOTE (dana0402 @ Mar 13 2008, 05:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What a great idea smile.gif

We're in Tampa, FL (but will hopefully be in DC by this summer...)


R U moving there permanently?
chispasFemale02008-03-14 12:28:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLets make a chart of where we all are from
Rass Zee!
You have done a fantastic job with your chart. I am sure it'll grow further as more people add their information. Well done girl.

QUOTE (unononehigher @ Feb 25 2008, 09:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hey e'er body sleepy.gif ,
I'm in B-E-T-T-E-N-D-O-R-F........ahem.....,:::whispering:::thats...in...iowa" tongue.gif
okay, next unsure.gif


You are really out there girl. How's the snow?
chispasFemale02008-02-27 14:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLets make a chart of where we all are from
QUOTE (panamania79 @ Feb 25 2008, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ebonyqueen @ Feb 25 2008, 06:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Woudnt it be fun to have a weekend trip and meet and hang out with some of the peeps we been talking to on VJ for so long!!!! I think it would be cool. And it gives us a chance to show our SO's other parts of the country, while maybe building some wonderful friendships. It would involve some organization and coordination...but maybe some of us are into the party-planning stuff and would help.

Maybe our wonderful ZEE will make us another beautiful chart that lists our towns and states, and we can start seeing how close, or far we all are from each other.

Anyone down for it? Come on...it might be fun. A VJ reunion!!!!!!!!!!!!! kicking.gif


I'm in Providence,RI-Southern New England.


Are there many Panas there?

QUOTE (chispas @ Feb 25 2008, 08:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
San Francisco


I can't even spell San Francisco
chispasFemale02008-02-25 13:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLets make a chart of where we all are from
San Francisco
chispasFemale02008-02-25 11:32:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHE Got IT!!!!!
QUOTE (Efia06 @ Mar 12 2008, 08:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok Moon, I will be over to see you guys sat, with my homemade ceviche. biggrin.gif Im so excited for you and him! Seeing you two together will be so wonderful. :::hugs::::


Ceviche?? I hear a magic word. I'm just a few hours up the road so I'll have some too. I'll leave Moon to do her laundry . Heck I'll donate some Tide for good ceviche. Still proud of you girl
Chispas
chispasFemale02008-03-12 22:56:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHE Got IT!!!!!
So tomorrow night when I feel the Earth rumble beneath my feet I wont check the Richter scale. I'll just know it is Moon making up for two years of separation! Should I expect a 6.9 or 10 wub.gif
chispasFemale02008-03-12 16:57:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanUpdate.....
Girl, I feel your happiness right now. Are you tired of doing laundry yet jest.gif Hope your hubby enjoys Caly and is not too shocked by the cost of everything. If you are ever up in the SF bay and need a guide, just pm me.
Chispas
chispasFemale02008-03-17 13:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFor some help in the African forum
Which part of Germany is your SO? I went to a Cameroonian shindig in Oldenburg a few years ago. I was also shocked to know that they have huge buildings called Asylums where they keep immigrants until they are finished with their German paperwork. Can't imagine how that would work here.
chispasFemale02007-12-07 17:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWe made it..
It is a awesome feeling! May God bless you both
chispasFemale02008-03-14 12:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHard road But worth it all
Thanks for your post.
chispasFemale02008-03-20 10:07:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBeing forced to pay support?
I thought so too until I started reading the posts from the other thread. I am just curious to know if anyone had been obligated to abide by it yet
chispasFemale02008-01-31 21:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBeing forced to pay support?
I was reading a post in another forum about about having to support the SO after getting a divorce. Has anyone in this forum been forced to abide by the 125% of poverty thing in supporting their spouse? If not, what was different from these cases?

http://www.visajourn...p;#entry1541920
chispasFemale02008-01-31 15:15:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanInterview Date
Wow, to be able to go to SA and stay for all these months! Best of luck to both of you.
Chispas
chispasFemale02008-03-20 10:08:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanINTERVIEW TODAY IN LAGOS
great news
chispasFemale02008-03-21 12:14:00
Africa: Sub-Saharancongratulations to Efia06
Another Dollar Wine Dance comin' up


chispasFemale02008-03-21 12:10:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanInterview
Lawd Zee,
Sorry to hear the temp. setback. Did you include letters from family members who know both of you as evidence? Shucks. (kissing my theeth sound) Whah wrang wit dem! dry.gif
chispasFemale02008-03-17 13:25:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLets all pray fro My angel husband today as he returns
I am sure all is well
chispasFemale02008-02-22 13:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHe is finally here
Awwww,
This is truly a joyful story. Welcome Gabriel
chispasFemale02008-03-31 12:31:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSouth African Food
How about the Indian or Caribe stores? The East Indian Forum may have other Detroiters who can help
chispasFemale02008-01-15 15:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanTaking Family to Ghana
QUOTE (Ricca711 @ Apr 4 2008, 01:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
After some serious research and many phone calls...Delta does have a lift to take my mom to the ground. I was informed that all airlines have them but you have to let them know in advance. KLM claims that sometimes at the airport in Accra the equipment might not be available, therefore they would not make any guarantees. All the others guarantee the lift. I just wanted to give an update so in case anyone else might be faced with this task. Thanks again for all the advice. Now....I better get busy on those passports.


Yea!!
chispasFemale02008-04-07 11:48:00