Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Africa: Sub-Saharan	How long was your interview	My SO had only one appointment and a short interview. Visa in hand in a few hours after interview. No more interviews since then. Not for Adjustment of Status or Removal of Conditions. Nada, zilch, zero. Chispas	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-10 19:35:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Wedding Pictures	Maybe its me, but I couldn't see the pictures at all. I'm not sure if its because we have a Firewall here, but not even a popup blocker shows up. How would I get to them? If I don't get a chance to see them, then congrats on all.	chispas	Female	0	2008-09-02 17:12:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	My Trip Home	Wow Zee, Those pictures are heavenly! You both look so happy and ooze love for each other all over the place. I see nothing but true love and happiness there. xoxoxox Chispas	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-10 19:40:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Its Finally My Turn	OMG, You have brought me back in time by mentioning the names of some of the old-timers who used to be around when you first started your journey. I'll add "Optimystic" to the that group too. I am glad for you and I believe that coming through the doors with your family all at once must truly be a magical feeling. Rejoice girl. Rejoice in this moment. Great news	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-01 12:33:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	I can't believe I'm up so late. Just having a hard time sleeping lately. Ciao all	chispas	Female	0	2008-09-07 04:01:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	QUOTE (Omoba @ Sep 4 2008, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Chispas , no time to sneak to VJ anymore ? Shucks, the way the classes are sorted this year I haven't been able to breathe. I feel like I am doing a drive by posting. I'm home now, but catching up on all the administrative stuff I could not do today.	chispas	Female	0	2008-09-04 20:58:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Hola, Haven't seen rain in four months. How are you all. I have different classes this year so little time to devote to VJ	chispas	Female	0	2008-09-04 12:11:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Just stopping by to read and catch up on VJ. Hello to all who'll read this in the morning and nighty night to the ones who are just going to bed.	chispas	Female	0	2008-09-02 22:18:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Hola VJ Buenos Dias and Happy Friday. I have a few minutes between classes to try and catch up on things. Haven't been online in a short while. So hola everyone.	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-29 09:44:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Hola from Caly everyone. I do have the back to school blues right now. My first full day for this academic years begins tomorrow and I dread it already. At least I'll be able to leave VJ on and glance at it from time to time when I get a break.	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-20 14:36:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Hello and Mornin' Omoba: I'm watching the View and they are talking about paranormals and your phone rining thing gave me goose bumps. Nagi: I can't imagine having to go through an ordeal like she has. Wow talk about shock on the system. She'll have to do tons of laundry too now. Uno: Morning girl: All under control Zaina: whappin gial	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-12 12:49:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	QUOTE (Bassi and Zainab @ Aug 11 2008, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey ya'll. I'm around. My daughter won't start school for another 2 and a half weeks. But it's okay. She's six, so she's still sweet. P, I'm with you on the growing up fast thing. I pulled all the pictures from when she was too and have them all over my desk here in the office. I'm not adjusting well to her growing up. Bassi wants to make a baby asap to save his own sanity cause I'm driving him crazy! Naggi, can't wait to hear that he's in your arms. God is really testing you. It's coming to an end though. Patience, Patience, Patience. My medical issues grew....my blood sugar was out of whack because of stress, but it was not just external stress as I first thought. Bassi found a lump (thank God he was doing the laundry!). I'm waiting for the results of a biopsy because the doctor said it was a cyst but there was blood in it so they have to be sure. I'm feeling faithful. So, I'm sure I'll get good news. Sorry to hear of the lump Zaina. Health issues are one of those things that I always wish we could avoid at all cost. On the other hand, it is always good when you have help with the laundry Bassi is already proving himself to be great with the chores. As for everyone else who is happy their children are back at school . This only means that my relaxation is over. Perhaps that is why I am having those weird dreams. Watching too many back to school commercials on TV	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-11 13:49:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	QUOTE (ZeeNusah @ Aug 11 2008, 04:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Good morning everyone!!!! QUOTE (chispas @ Aug 10 2008, 08:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (ZeeNusah @ Aug 10 2008, 08:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Morning everyone Been entertianing visitors and now I am tired!!! Good Afternoon Zee ( ) Were you entertaining guests earlier or were you doing "laundry"? Is that what made you so tired???? I was entertaining guests (my BIL and his wife). We had fun but it was tiring. As for the "laundry".... QUOTE (charles! @ Aug 11 2008, 05:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (chispas @ Aug 10 2008, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Just another lazy Sunday afternoon in Caly. i can't imagine why QUOTE (charles! @ Aug 8 2008, 03:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (chispas @ Aug 8 2008, 12:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm running out again so I hope I don't miss too mich while I'm gone. BTW, had another weird dream last night. I dreamt I had two husbands. One was average and the other one shorter than me, thick and very white. We had to swing on a trapeze to get up to the airplane terminal. It was my turn to swing, and we discovered that I had an engine leak in my car so we didn't go. What is with these crazy dreams? two husbands, swinging, and chispas is lacking horsepower all in the same paragraph. hmmmm. i sense there's more to this story than meets the eye. You are too much I really have had weird dreams lately and each one is more vivid than the other. Whatever they mean, is a mystery to me.	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-11 13:42:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Hola Uno, How's the sleeping thing going? I went to sleep around 5 am when the sun came up. I was sorting out my Itunes songs. Really exciting Edited by chispas, 10 August 2008 - 07:53 PM.	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-10 19:52:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Just another lazy Sunday afternoon in Caly.	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-10 19:32:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	QUOTE (ZeeNusah @ Aug 10 2008, 08:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Morning everyone Been entertianing visitors and now I am tired!!! Good Afternoon Zee ( ) Were you entertaining guests earlier or were you doing "laundry"? Is that what made you so tired????	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-10 19:29:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	I'm running out again so I hope I don't miss too mich while I'm gone. BTW, had another weird dream last night. I dreamt I had two husbands. One was average and the other one shorter than me, thick and very white. We had to swing on a trapeze to get up to the airplane terminal. It was my turn to swing, and we discovered that I had an engine leak in my car so we didn't go. What is with these crazy dreams?	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-08 12:20:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	QUOTE (ZeeNusah @ Aug 8 2008, 05:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> We are HOME!!!!!! Details to follow later	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-08 12:16:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Sorry again, I'm back after going out for a while. I had to recover from the dream. Sylvia, to me it seems like they had to find something to pick at him for. I don't even remember who I met when and how. That is such a minor detail for anyone. The job function thing makes even more sense to me because many job functions are extremely unclear and do not even match the description. That was two sucky reasons they gave. Chin up	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-08 00:05:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	I'm back from earlier. I actually dozed off and dreamt that Paris Hilton was my babysitter and she let one of her friends injure my baby's arm. (Some how I had a baby even though I could legally be a grandma) Anyway Paris told my daughter (my real daughter) that she would sopoena my laptop and everything in my house and make me regret knowing her since I had the nerve to accuse her of endangering my child. So I try in vain to get ready to go to the hospital with the baby and as you know, as much as I try to prepare something goes wrong each time and I can't get out of the house. My ex SO was there answering questions from the child protection agency because Paris had called and reported us as abusers for having too many sodas and junk food in the house. I was trying to get my ex to act responsibly with the investigators and he was acting like "duh" so I was in a hurry to get out of the house. I kept forgetting my skirt, my pants and so on. We then finally get in the car to drive and it turns out to be a donkey on wheels. Nevertheless I just kept going through one challenge to another challenge and I finally woke up. Now I'm angry with Paris Hilton and feel I should have just taken my darned baby to the hospital and not let her know what I was thinking ahead of time. What the heck might that have been?	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-07 16:10:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Sub-saharan cyber cafe	Omoba I just pm with an unrelated question. Sorry guys for whispering in front of you.	chispas	Female	0	2008-08-07 12:25:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Shocking but pleasant	Hi Ladies, I thought I would share something interesting that has happened to me just today. Some of you Sub-Saharans know my story and the challenges I have faced in my marriage to my So. Yes, I have had challenges just like everybody else on the board and felt used like some others have. Not to belabor the point, but I had been feeling as if I married this man from Africa, now he's acting up, his family is closed mouth about his past and I am stuck in an impossible situation. No, my situation has a different twist from the regular green card issues and the bad behaving man who took money and left. Yesterday one of my husband's freinds called to say that her mother flew here from the Congo to see me because she was concerned about me. I was floored when I heard this. I had spoken to her mother on several occasion and shared with her the issues I was dealing with and she told me she would come and pray for both of while cleansing us both. I thought this was a nice gesture, but who can do anything with this guy who has one foot in the house and the other out of the house? Today I met with her and she let me know that she is a high preist in her church and since she heard my issues, she came to pray, fast and counsel us. Of course she can see her daughter too, but she said her main mission for coming is to find out what the heck is going on through prayer and fasting. She said after that we'll know the course of action. Caution, before I have a flood of nay sayers or the controversial arguments, I would like to say that I thought nobody over there cared about what was happening to me and basically were all part of some sinister plot to use me. I stood corrected today when this woman came, because I told her six months ago that I needed help, and the nature of my issues. So I take back some of my anger about my situation as she explained to me that has known his family for over 60+ and she is here to stand in the gap in prayer as if they were in the village. My hope is that the same happens to some of my sisters and brother on VJ, that one person in the family or a family friend will be able shed a light or history on your situation as mine is not inherent to Africa, but issues that transcend cultures. I am so humbled by this woman who came because she knew I was broken spiritually. This is more than my heart ever knew would happen. I am not saying that through prayer and fasting, all will be well. What I am saying is that through prayer and fasting she aims to gain knowledge and clarity on what God has in mind for all of this. She said either way, good or bad, we'll know for sure how to proceed but only with God's guidance. I am in awe. Thanks for reading Chispas	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-02 03:40:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Are there any successful LONGTERM marriages?	QUOTE (LisaD @ Dec 29 2007, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (akinstacey @ Dec 29 2007, 02:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (LisaD @ Dec 29 2007, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Here's my $1.57 worth Whether or not there are other successful Nigerian/American marriages is really irrelevant to your particular situation. The most important thing to be aware of is that not all [insert country here]'s people are one homogenized being who all act alike, think alike, etc. Every person is different. I see this all the time on VJ, and while people of any particular country can share similarities, this does not mean they are all the same. So as long as you KNOW your man, you love him, and you are confident in your choice, then there's nothing to worry about. People will talk, but it's up to you to hold steadfast to the person that you know. They don't know him, so don't allow their aspersions to cast a doubt on you if you don't initially have one yourself. Now, imo, you need to identify whether your doubts are results of trusted loved ones speaking out of ignorance, or if they come from within you. Yes, there are some scammers out there...both Nigerian and American. But if you know your man, neither one of these facts should make a difference. I love this saying: Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is looking, and love like you've never been hurt. Good luck to you! You're absolutely right. Scammers do exist in every country. And broken marriages exist in every country with every race. My point is just that I'm sick of hearing the negative, failed, scammed, duped, etc...stories about wat Nigerians have done to women/men abroad. I needed some encouragement. I talk to my man all the time about what ppl say and its so discouraging to him. Especially when he hears that it come from the mouths of fellow Nigerians living here in the USA. Here's something funny: When I went to 9gia, we primarily stayed in his home with his family. But occassionally, for sake of privacy, we went out to hotels and stayed gone for a few days at a time. One of the places we went, was to the Excellence hotel. Guess what room number they put us in................Room 419. Isn't that hysterical. It didnt' dawn on us til we were actually opening the door, then we fell out laughing. We got some great pics of us standing in front of the door with the room number visible. All we can do is laugh. Some of the paths that some of us walk here on VJ are harder than others. They all go against 'norms' of marrying within one's own country, but sadly some are more 'acceptable' than others. There will always be haters, and always be talk...the thing is to have the strength to disregard the hate that some spew. It's not easy, I'm sure....but imo, that is the key to happiness. And I hate to say it, but I don't get the 419 thing. hahahahah http://en.wikipedia....vance_fee_fraud (A Wiki Definition of 419)	chispas	Female	0	2007-12-29 15:07:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Are there any successful LONGTERM marriages?	No problem.	chispas	Female	0	2007-12-29 04:52:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Are there any successful LONGTERM marriages?	There are no guarantees at all. 1. Get to know other people who are not his family members. 2. Have him interact with other Nigerians here, their or on VJ ( they are good sources and some husbands in this forum have noses like blood hounds. Get to know them. 3. in the spirit of repeating what someone else already said, don't spend more than you can afford to lose. 4. Be conservative in you happiness of how fantastic life will be here. 5. Pray 6. If it doesn't work, don't take it personally and treat is just another break up. If you love him by all means follow-through, but use both head, heart and not punany to make the decision. If you hit a bump, we'll be here If you have doubts we'll be here If you cry someone will pm you If you forgive and go back, no problem, we are here too. You are loved, kind and brave for considering this journey. However, you are not alone and you will love your experiences either way. That's why this is a journey	chispas	Female	0	2007-12-29 04:22:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Pictures	I guess some people just want the privacy. No need to have coworkers or neighbors in your business. I actually posted a video of us here on VJ which is something I had not done anywhere else. It only took me two years to build up the nerve to do it.	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-03 03:30:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	why oh, why wont she have some fun	No hay de que ( sin acento argentino) No problem (without the Argentinian accent)	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-07 23:35:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	why oh, why wont she have some fun	QUOTE (JVKn @ Jan 7 2008, 08:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Uno, it's nice that you have a friend that worries about you and cares for your well being. (great, now I really miss my friends...carrying on...) No te preocupes Caro. Tendras mas amiguitas por aqui y entonces podras salir a pachangear de nuevo. SP Don't worry Caro. You will have more girlfriends here and then you will be able to hang out again. ENG	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-07 20:33:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	why oh, why wont she have some fun	QUOTE (unononehigher @ Jan 6 2008, 10:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> She and I have/had to learn to stop punishing everyman for what we did not get from our fathers or past relationships and allow God to bring people (husbands/wives) into our lives and show us his (Gods) love and then learn how to accept his (Gods) love through these people. Amen	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-07 13:34:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	why oh, why wont she have some fun	Hello All I am a late to the conversation, so if I am repeating something somebody has already mentioned please accept my apology. I will ask you "friend" if you and your "friend" would see a counselor together? Church counselor etc. The reason why I mention this, is that I feel there are two separate issues here. One is mourning the loss of a friendship and the other is trying to obtain clarity from your friend's recent behavior. I think the VJ family can give much insight to the visa process and explain much about our feelings and experiences with an SO from another country. However, I believe that if you can find understanding in the friendship realm you will continue to be the friend when hubby arrives, when they have kids, fights and making up after the fights. VJ is just one step to many more steps because everything does not end with the issuance of that VISA.	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-06 21:19:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	K1 Visa ... anyone got an idea what I need to get done?		chispas	Female	0	2008-01-07 20:52:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	K1 Visa ... anyone got an idea what I need to get done?	QUOTE (Timax Detty @ Dec 28 2007, 10:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If I dont get married ... can I go through the K1 Visa? I would first ask (Are you the USC?) then to please post your story or time-line.	chispas	Female	0	2007-12-30 13:38:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	How do you buy airline tickets for spouse?	Hola, Whew. I can see you have many thoughts circling through your head right now. Breath....... Although I am sure you will receive many variations to the advice, I would ask a few questions first. When is the interview scheduled in relation to your return ticket? Each embassy is different as far as how fast they process their visas after a successful interview so maybe someone who went through your embassy can answer that one. The airline tickets are usually cheaper if you purchase round-trip tickets as opposed to one way. Also don't forget to accumulate your frequent flyer miles! You may want to leave extra room on the back end of your trip in case they ask for additional information or there are any glitches during the interview. This will give you flexibility in your purchase. If you purchase a full fare ticket, you may have flexibility in making changes to it. In my experience, tickets were cheaper when purchased over in Africa than from the US. But again, this may differ from agency to agency and time of year one is flying. The last thing is that depending on the type of ticket you buy for your SO, it may not be transferable. I have heard of travel agencies that only deal in cash and others which hold the reservations for only 24 hours. Again, I am sure you'll receive much help in this area and whichever way you choose, may you both have a speedy interview and joint flight back. Chispas	chispas	Female	0	2007-12-05 00:39:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Good luck ladies!!!	Both huh? Cool. Blessings to them both	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-07 20:28:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Are you married or engaged to a Gambian?	I feel for the woman who posted on the Google site. However, I don't feel her problems are as a result of marring a Gabian. It sounds, to me, that there may be "other" personal issues that he is dealing with. If you are friends with her, please let her know that she can pm me. Chispas	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-10 13:51:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	any opinions	QUOTE (vee @ Jan 6 2008, 01:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hi Chispas what do u mean i knew before i asked is that a snappy question?. No i didn't know and i still have not decided that is y i asked, next time i wont post. I took a chance when i did it . Woa... Unfortunately the Internet does not offer the opportunity to see the person's expressions or intentions in our posts. Just as Ben*** said, that was a go do your thang girlllllfrienndddd post. I don't know your "Urban Vernacular" depth, but it definitely was not a snarky comment. (I learn snarky from Meowmeow) . Lastly whether you perceive snarkiness in a response, that she should not stop you from posting your feelings. Again, anything can be misinterpreted on-line. Thanks Ben****	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-11 00:00:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	any opinions	You knew you were going before you asked right?? Just have all in order, have your emergency fund and go. If you do a lot of work via the Internet, will you need to have your own global connection while there?	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-06 03:03:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Trying to learn Pidgin	QUOTE (Bassi and Zainab @ Jan 8 2008, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (chispas @ Jan 8 2008, 01:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Arghh.. I know after the break I'll a few more "curious" girls wanted to see my hair. I used to have dreds and when I cut them out, I even had parents asking me why I took my dreds out. I have a new crop of locks. It's been a year so they are at my ears now. I got questions in the office a lot. But whatever, they were totally stressed out when I cut off my permed shoulder length hair. I did it to symbolically get rid of my ex cause he's the reason for the hair. Had to be long and straight. God rid of him and the hair. Felt so free. And cheaper than therapy. Poor Bassi wanted me to keep my mini fro and told me not to lock my hair. Well, I exploded. I just remember being long and straight for ten years. I'm doing for me. I should add that now he LOVES my locks. Men are so fickle sometimes. i'll slap wig on sometimes just for different effect	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-08 14:07:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Trying to learn Pidgin	Arghh.. I know after the break I'll a few more "curious" girls wanted to see my hair. I used to have dreds and when I cut them out, I even had parents asking me why I took my dreds out.	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-08 13:49:00
Africa: Sub-Saharan	Trying to learn Pidgin	This is totally off topic, but I just want to complain.............. One of my students walked in during the break and stood over the top of my head. She then proceeded to shout that she didn't know I had a weave. Pisssed off I am. I work at a "non-diverse" school so I had to school her how "black" women don't appreciate people trying to dig their fingers in their hair. Her answer: Why? My answer: Because I said so. Now go on your break.	chispas	Female	0	2008-01-08 13:37:00