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Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

It's Thursday!!! Yipee!!!!! :dance: :dance:

Oh NO...Oh SHIZNIT.....I only made one copy of the darned packet and forgot to make copies of the cashier checks...............I have the copies of the cashier check recipts with check number form the bank...Am I doomed??????

You are SOOOOOO doomed!!! NOT!! Don't worry about it. At least you have a copy -- and don't worry about the checks -- you have the receipts.....I am just overly #######!! ;)

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... :blush: BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG

Patience and understanding are key.....also getting/allowing him to have his independence is also a big thing. Like Rhonda said, it does take some time but eventually it all works itself out.

When you get really frustrated at the way he is acting -- try putting youself into his shoes. He left his country, job, family and friends to be here. You are all he has. You leave every day and go to work. You are bringing all the cash and paying all the bills. For him, it's all you, you, you and none of me, me, me. The more independence you can get him the better. Also, having him be "in charge" of things helps too. It might sound minimal but Roy cuts the grass and cleans the house every week. That gives him responsibility and although I view it as something small -- it is really big for him.

Well this couple from a house over (they just moved in) cld the police b/c they see a "strange black man" riding his bike up and down. Well after some time the police decided to show up and they were very upset that nothing could be done b/c he lived there. So now my dad does it on purpose daily to piss these ppl off. They are the only black folks on the whole entire blk. Racial profiling fo real!!!

We live in a very mixed neighborhood BUT I took someones advice from here on VJ and talked to all my neighbors BEFORE Roy got here -- just letting them know that a "big, black man" was going to be at my house. If I didn't do that I am sure the cops would have been knocking on my door more than once. It sounds crazy but.....look, they're pulling him over on his bike....can it get any more crazy than that??? :wacko:




I've talked to Craig a MILLION AND TRILLION times about bills, responsibility, house cleaning, helping etc etc. He says he "owes" money in Jamaica (I haven't asked what for) and I keep reminding him that he HAS to do HIS part and pay for the next step of the immigration, electric and now he ran up a $100 long distance phone bill when it finally got paid off last month. I've made copies of everything for him. I've typed out a budget plan...how much is coming in (for both) and whatnot. He STILL doesn't get it !!!!

If Craig wasn't so fortunate to go to work, I truly don't think we would have made it. He's soooooooooo darn fortunate to have had that opportunity early on (being that my client works for immigration here in Maryland and gave him a walkup appointment to get a work authorization permit). He just doesn't "get that" !! Craig really likes taking the bus because he does feel like he has his own independence. My son gave him his pre-paid phone (it's a start)...will help HIM manage his money/talk time (for now).

I used to bug Craig about the seatbelt, now I don't bother, because if HE gets a ticket, that will be on HIM !!! I had to laugh last week, we were driving down the highway and he looks over and there's a Sheriff driving next to us and Craig got "scared" cause he didn't have his seatbelt on...... and he was like, oh boomba...I don't have my belt on. I said to him, I'm not going to remind you, you have to take that responsibility of getting a ticket on your own.

I almost fell over when he asked if he could help ME with dinner last night AND then he vacuumed the bedroom because a friend of mine gave us a really nice dresser (that he was going to take to the dump), so we rearranged our bedroom last night. Now he truly feels like he has "his" own space (although I made TONS of room and adjustments for him so that he had space).

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen". When Craig and I were watching Kidnapped last night he said, I should have brought my Jamaica movies here about the Jamaicans that come to America and don't do ANYthing but rob and hurt (kill) people and I said that's NOT how it really is here and that's why alot think and feel that way about America because of the movies they watch in Jamaica.......you HAVE to be a hardworking man to "make it".....that's a really hard lesson for him to grasp on to. Craig lived in Bluefields and it's in the middle of nothing, which in turn, makes alot of them get into alot of trouble !!

He also asked again last night.........are we going to go back to Jamaica? I was like as SOON as we can, especially after the paperwork is finished, but unfortunately it won't be this year. He said he NEEDS a vacation to be able to sit back, relax and DO nothing !!!

I'm glad that you guys wrote that info about riding the bikes because now I get to share with Craig (he likes reading your stories) and of course I don't share ALL of them.....but one day, it will "snap"!

Another issue we're starting to have is the company he's starting to keep (or has made friends with) from work. They are black american, mostly single guys (or cheat on their gfriends) and do NOT taking working seriously!!! They are feeding Craig's head with ALLLLL sorts of #######, like....you can just go out and buy a car, you don't NEED a license !!! That's only 1 of the things he's shared, I can ONLY imagine what else they've said to him.

Anyway, gotta run....have a great day everyone. It's chilly here today !!!!

Kelly :P
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-21 09:18:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
Congrats Kelly (F)

Where in Negril are you having your July wedding?


We'll be doing the renewals at Negril Gardens -where we met 2 yrs ago and I've been staying at for the past 9 yrs.


In regards to the drinking issue. That was a major issue when Craig 1st got here. He wanted to just "have a drink" at 10am on any day and I'm like....hooooold up a second !! We had MANY talks about being a "responsible" parental (type). He would LOVE to have a drink EVERY night that he comes home from work. I don't keep anything in the house. I did buy a 6 pack on the wedding night, that went quick. I'm a social drinker and could have a 6 pk in the fridge for a month. We went out on Friday night to a Reggae Sail on this tall ship (all you can drink) and then after that, we hit up some bars. We had such a great time, but he's a total lightweight!

Anyone have the following "issues" and/or "challenges"....cause these are our constant issues, or it can be the maturity (or lack there of).....

--We live in an apartment so that means you just can't go and sit in your car and have a drink and listen to music. You can do that IN your own home. He would not believe me that you can't have a drink (open) in your car....
--You can't just play music way loud at any hour.
--Can't leave the sliding glass door WIDE open when the air conditioning is on.
--Can't leave every flippin light and TV on in the house...especially here in Maryland when our electric bill just went up --was going to be 75%, but right now it's only 15% with an increase each year.
--When he 1st got here, he would hang out by a tree, by himself for hours. We live in the front of the building where there's lots of people going by......LOTS of "lookers", because I guess some would say he "looked" suspicious. We have VERY nosy neighbors that wouldn't hesitate to call management if someone sneezed improperly.
--He HATES to wear a seatbelt and sometimes "refuses" to wear one!!

This relathionship (and every aspect of it) is SUCH a challenge and I hope and pray that it only gets better with time !!!







Roy had a "bad" address -- like, not deliverable to :wacko:......I did it so he had to pick it up at the FedEx office....we had no problems at all.

....you have been blessed with a beautiful family.

Isn't Elias just the cutest?!?!? (F)



Absolutely the cutest !!!!!!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-20 14:34:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

Such pretty pictures Kelly! Your bouquet, real or silk flowers? Nice scenery...it just all ties in together (L)



Thanks ! The flowers are all real. One of my clients owns a flower shop and just put together something for me..."I" was an easy bride to deal with. I went in Friday, looked at a couple of pics, went with fall colors and boom. He did a great job! Now what to do with the beautiful bouquet?? I hate to just chuck it? I gotta call him tomorrow and ask how to preserve some of the roses.

We got married at Patapsco State Park. The place where we got married is called the "Valley Overlook". We don't have mountains in our area, just really tall trees. It's absolutely breath taking in person. The park is about 1 minute from where we live.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-19 18:59:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
A couple of our WEDDING Pics are loaded on the yahoo site !!!

Dag, to even THINK about the next step....I'm dreading it. ARGH ...

:D
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-19 15:58:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
Hi Everyone,

Thank you for your well wishes and support. We tied the knot today (at our local park and my friend married us)...pictures to come soon. It was quiet, romantic and just the 3 of us (me, my son and Craig).

Next July we're going to have the "big one" in Negril.

:D :D :D :D (L)
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-18 16:05:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
[quote name='rhondapayter' date='Sep 12 2006, 04:21 AM' post='439766']
[quote name='luvtravlin' post='438999' date='Sep 11 2006, 06:53 PM']
Of course, anytime anyone needs help with travel arrangements, please do not hesitate to contact me!! I have direct access to all airlines all at one shot.
[/quote]

Thanks for reminding us AGAIN :whistle: Luckily Travelocity, Orbitz, Expedia, Priceline, Hotwire, Sidestep, and many other websites also have similar access for those of us less inclined to contact a travel agent :P Last time Tony went down for a funeral I got a ticket for less than $300 36 hours before he took off ;)


Thanks for "your support" Rhonda....but I was letting the new folks that weren't aware that I am a travel agent and I am here to assist anyone with their travel needs. It's the personal service that my clients prefer rather than endless searching and searching on the internet and really not ever knowing what you're actually buying. In regards to finding airfare for the funeral, you didn't contact me to give me the chance to even help you.....

To provide you with some examples of my services...
I booked a client of mine (and his wife) airfare for their upcoming trip to San Diego (next week) in July, I have kept an eye out on the airfare for any possible decrease ....I was able to get their airline tickets cheaper and they now have a credit of $220 per person to use for future travel.

The very next day, I was able to save 2 couples that I have booked to go to Cancun $550.00 per couple because their package price went down.

Another client contacted me Friday and asked if I could "beat his already reserved $565.00 rate".....I was able to get the same type of vehile, same times etc for $408.00.

Yet another recent scenario ....I had been "watching" airfare for a client since March to Tortola, I have been emailing her every 2 weeks or so (or if I saw any significant rate changes) and she emailed back to let me know they jumped the gun and already booked their airfare through one of "those websites" but they paid $675.00 per person (6 couples) with a 5 hour layover!!...my rate was $452.00 per person and with a much shorter connection. That particular website won't even help her with the decrease and let them change to the better connection.

I am able to watch for schedule changes which the on-line agencies never provide to their customers or specifically any type of decrease in rates!

There are many perks to using a travel agency because of the discounts we acquire through our suppliers. When I watch and/or keep an eye out for decreases, this to is at no additional cost and is a service that I provide to all of my clients. There are no hidden fees or additional costs working with a travel agency, well at least my agency. Travel Agencies are paid by the supplier (i.e. hotel, car, vendor, cruise line, etc)....not by the clients themselves.

I could go on and on, that's why I have been in this business for 16 yrs and I don't need to advertise because of the many referrals that are sent to me. Yes, this business is very very up and down (just like the stock market, car sales, etc etc), but it's exciting and challenging and the perks for me are great as well!!

For those that have used (and still do) my services (from this site), I appreciate your continued support B)
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-12 07:48:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

I've got a question..... I know this has happened to a few of you already, but I'm curious.

Have you discussed what happens when someone in his family passes away and what his expectations are of jumping on a place to attend the services?

I just told Roy that he will need to save himself $7,000 because there are only seven people who he would want to fly back to the island for.....and last minute it will probably cost $1,000 a pop.



We've discussed this scenarion a number of times, only because Craig thinks that "he" can get a deal because "I" am a travel agent...but that's not how it works, unfortunately. His mom is the only one that he thinks about constantly and calls her every Sunday. His sister is still there, but they aren't close. His father (which he's not close to) just arrived into the states last week along with his wife and their 2 kids. His brother is in Philly (yet to hook up with him due to all of our busy work schedules), 2 of his closest cousins and best friend live in New York and an Aunt lives in Canada. I've said to him though....that "if" anything were to happen, reality...we just don't have the funds for him to fly back....so he'll really need to "save". He doesn't get the jist of "saving" right now.


Of course, anytime anyone needs help with travel arrangements, please do not hesitate to contact me!! I have direct access to all airlines all at one shot.


JAX, airlines don't give refunds (except for a death an immediate family member or passenger) ....they used to about 10 yrs ago. You can change your ticket (before the travel date) and pay $100 penalty (or $50...depends on the rule of the ticket you purchased). If there's a difference in the new airline ticket, you pay the penalty plus an additional collection. I have a really great Air Jamaica sales rep and I've asked for their help with extenuating (sp?)circumstances with a client and they wouldn't help....which is really unfortunate and lack of customer service on their part.

Thanks you guys, for your respones to my question. My issue is that "I" don't know any of these guys that he "might" go out with and from what he's told me some of the conversations they've been having at work....they are saying to him.... "can't believe you're getting married", "why the rush", "your still young", etc etc and then these guys want to take him out ??? If "I" knew them it would be a totally different scenario.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-11 17:53:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
NEW TOPIC ---

How do you guys feel about bachelor and bachelorette parties? If your man doesn't reeeally know anyone here, except for the guys he's been working with (for a short period of time and you don't know any of them).....do you support HIS decision if he wanted to go to a club/bar to have his bachelor party???

Any honest advise, opinions etc would be greatly appreciated !!

Thanks!

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-11 10:38:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
The adjustment part is very HARD. Every couple relationship and situations are different. I honestly couldn't imagine my husband leaving his children behind in JA...I can't help but to think about those children...

Damien have been here almost two years and we are still adjusting...mainly to each other. Luckily he doesn't have a problem with homesickness but we still have issues. Last weekend I felt like "What the hell did I get myself into??" then we talked everything out for two days. It goes both ways - my life haven't been the same since I filed the K-1 application two years ago. Still I have no regrets........would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But it takes lots of praying and patience. I'll keep you and Duane in my prayers :luv:.
[/quote]


I second this ....about the adjustment. Craig is getting better every day. Communication is KEY and it's gotta be CONSTANT communication!!! He came home last night, seemed frustrated....he literally sat on the toilet (not going to the bathroom), and I sat out in the hall and we just shot the s**t. They are jackin him up with his pay and I've tried to help, but he wants to handle it on his own....but...is afraid to go in and talk with "the big guy". He gets paid today, so we'll see what happens.

Craig misses Jamaica, but he said just that it's not so restrictive. He doesn't "miss" the food as much as I really thought he would. He can't WAIT to go on "vacation". I keep telling him once with get through this next part and he's settled into his job, we'll start really traveling and taking advantage of my travel benefits.

Dr. Keith Ablow was on a commercial last night and he said, If you can't imagine your life withOUT your significant other....tell them. I looked at Craig and said, Craig....I seriously couldn't imagine my life withOUT you.

Michele, when the time is right...you will definitely know. Relationships are HARD, but if you work on them and not take each other for granted and I'm tellin ya....communication!!!! It will work out.

Soccer "season" starts....1st game in VA this weekend, but thank god it's not an early one....so we're going to see Jahworks (local Reggae band -www.jahworks.com) tomorrow night. We haven't gone out since he got here and we're WAY overdue !

Have a great weekend everyone! Cheers :star:
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-08 08:00:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
He's seeing that life here in the States isn't as easy as he thought it would be. [/quote]


Craig and I just had this conversation (again) today about how it is here....about money, finances, etc....and he's like, but everyone here in the states CAN afford it (speaking of our price increase for our electric bill). It almost went up 75% !!! but they (the government) just put it through for 15% and then every year it will increase. I was like, Craig....you haven't even seeeeen the areas where folks can't "afford" to live like we do and trust me, we're in a apartment (not a house), but we live in a "nice" area. He loves it, but thinks eeeeeveryone is rich and it drives me crazy. Meanwhile, he's taking the bus everyday to and from work and I keep reminding him that not everyone here in this state is "rich" we ALL work hard every day. I think he's finally "getting" why we (here in the states) go to Jamaica ON "vacation" to chill out and relax!!!! and then I HAD to laugh when he said, ya know....I need a vacation!!

Craig came in the door last night...."freezing" and it really wasn't that cold. He said, I'm going to die when it really gets cold outside. He's checking the weather in the morning now before he goes outside.

It doesn't matter how much we tell our guys (and gals) the differences between Jamaica and the states, they will never really get it until they come here and experience life here themselves. All of us live in lots of different areas and I tell Craig that some of your guys just can't get on a bus and go to work and live far from places that they just can't walk to the grocery, liquor or restaurants.....he of course, doesn't believe me....

JAX, trust me ......you do NOT want to go through a pregnancy "alone". Been there, done that and it sucked!!!! I've been a single parent for 12 1/2 yrs. My sons father chose not to be in the picture and has no contact whatsover, oh except for his birthday card Dec 5th (maybe) and/or Christmas card....that's it. Craig LOVES the fact that he gets to help with my son and we've been watching ALOT of my sons baby videos because he wants to see him how he was growing up.

Have a great day everyone !

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-06 09:22:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
[quote name='BelwinMills' date='Sep 2 2006, 06:26 PM' post='419091']
What is everyone up to during this 3 day weekend.

We had another soccer tournament....3rd in a row. Rained out on Sat (it was soooo nice to sleep in), so they had to make up all of the games yesterday and this morning. We ended up in the semi-finals today and it was soooo exciting (for anyone whose kids play or played sports), we went into double overtime--they play two 5 minute over times and if noone scores they go into penalty kicks...which means any of the kids that are on the field after the 2nd overtime shoot out against each goalie....we ended up losing 8-7 (goal kicks scored). We are a Division 4 team (there are 1 through 6, 1 being "the best") and we played Div 1, 2 and 3 teams in this tournament. Pretty exciting!! Season starts (through November) in Virginia next weekend.

Shauna, I hate to see the kids get hurt, especially when the helicopter lands on the field.....our coaches son was hurt last weekend, the goalie (of the other team), slide tackled his son and fractured his leg. He's out for the next 5-6 weeks!

Good luck to Andrew, Roy and now Mike on their interviews!!!

Isn't it crazy that freak accident with Steve Irwin??!!

Jax I hope you're feeling better. We had crazy weather this weekend, cold one moment, hot the next, raining next and then the sun came out.

Well, we've "set the date".......for Sept 18th. It's gonna be veeeeery small. We're just going to go to a park (weather permitting) and have a special day just me, Craig and my son (my son wants to be "the photographer"). The "big one" will be in Negril (at Negril Gardens) next year. If all works out (getting a sitter, etc), I'm going to surprise Craig and take him to the Poconos (Caesars Resorts) Sept 24th for 2 nights. My rep is working on getting me a comp room....so that will definitely be a bonus!! I've never been there....but have sold it a ton of times.

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend !

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-09-04 19:02:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
A friend of mine in Jamaica sent this to me...
EXCLUSIVE: SUN, SEA & 'BLACK BAMBOO'

THEY'VE DUMPED THEIR HUBBY AND KIDS, WON'T SEE 50 OR SIZE 16 AGAIN, AND SAY MEN AT HOME ARE BAD IN BED. SO 80,000 BRIT WOMEN FLY TO JAMAICA FOR SOME..

Sharon Van Geuns In Negril Beach, Jamaica

HEY lady, you want some hot lovin'? I got everything you need... and more. Fast, slow, I'll show you what a real man can do. You're not going to be disappointed."

Welcome to Negril Beach, on Jamaica's western tip, where the promise of crystal blue seas, seven miles of pure white sand - and raw, uninhibited sex with a young black lover - has led to an invasion of middleaged British women jetting in on cheap package holidays.

The lure of the "black bamboo", a cheeky phrase which can't be further explained in a family newspaper, has become a big draw for British women seeking more than just a tan in this popular tourist resort.

Bristling with sex day and night, this is no Club 18-30 for drunken teenagers, but a paradise where middle-aged mums, wives and even grans give in to the temptation of muscular young men, many with rasta-style dreadlocks.

And many are willing to pay good money for it. For a night of passion, each "rastitute" - as the local gigolos call themselves - can find themselves £120-£200 better off.

But in most cases there's no straightforward cash-for-sex transaction - it's more sophisticated than that. Gigolos are often paid by the women to give them "tours of the island" or to be their "taxi drivers" for the week.

Advertisement

They can also expect gifts of watches, jewellery and clothes.

Considering that the average weekly wage is just over £50, education is only compulsory up to 11, and twice as many Jamaican males as females can't read and write, working as a gigolo is a tempting way for a young man without prospects to reap huge riches.

Of course, the women involved don't see it as a form of prostitution.

They are given undivided attention, endless flattery and, if they want it, lots and lots of sex.

Unlike back home, they won't be judged on their looks. Jamaican men claim they love a woman with a "bit of meat" on them.

Day and night Bob Marley tunes blare from every beach shack, the constant whiff of marijuana is in the air and the place is awash with sexual allure.

We bump into two locals, Anthony and Edward. Like many of the gigolos around here, during the day they work the tourist trail. The pair, who are both 25, hire out jetskis.

Others operate glass-bottomed tour boats, sell fruit or necklaces.

Here is where the flirty patter begins. "Come enjoy the ride of your life," Anthony croons at a couple of overweight women walking past in their bikinis.

"We just make the women feel special," says Anthony. "I love to compliment them on their gorgeous curves. I often tell them how I love to lick full-fat cream, not skimmed milk... and why I prefer a tiger not a tiger cub in the bedroom.

"Their age doesn't put either of us off as I find it brings them a sexual confidence that younger women don't have."

If a woman makes it clear she is after more than just a boat ride, they usually make arrangements to meet later at one of the beach bars.

"I've had 50- and 60-year-old women who enjoy making love to me. I don't mind what the women look like too much, but the older ones pay better," says Anthony.

The pair admit they have slept with dozens of foreign women. "The Brits have a real reputation," adds Richard. "They are very confident. They like to hold hands, and walk along the beach. Then they make clear they want you."

Anthony interjects: "They tell us the men back home are cold. They say they are no good in bed. Their performance is no good.

"We Jamaican men are like trains, we can go on and on!" he bellows with laughter.

Anthony, who has two children by different local women and has a Jamaican girlfriend, says he has slept with dozens of British women.

"I like them the best - they are the most considerate and they are very generous with gifts like watches and designer clothes."

As dusk falls we meet Peggy Connor, 53, a Londoner who openly admits she is sleeping with a number of the local men.

The businesswoman and grandmother of two is currently having the "time of her life" dating up to 10 young local men. For a woman in her fifties, she exudes enough energy and enthusiasm to put a 20- year-old to shame.

Tanned and pretty, she has never paid for a man to be with her, preferring to buy them gifts or let them drive her car. But she knows plenty of women who have opened up their wallets to secure a hunky young local for a holiday fling.

"They know exactly how to treat a woman right. The sex can be incredible - they are attentive and whisper sweet nothings in your ear and they love curvy women.

"In their culture curves are seen as very desirable - in fact, thin women are a turn-off. And they make such a change from British men - who last a few seconds and then fart, roll over and fall asleep.

"Some of the guys I see are gigolos, some not, I don't care really. As long as they look good and are under 30!" she giggles.

Her favourite "squeeze" at the moment is a 22-year-old called Stone, who stares at his blonde prize like he has won the jackpot.

He says he doesn't work at the moment, but confides later he deals the "odd bag of ganja".

Peggy first came to Jamaica five years ago. Bored of life at home and going through a difficult divorce (her third), she was looking for something new when she was swept off her feet by Dean, a 24-year-old local man she met on the beach.

"He was lovely - so muscled and good-looking," she recalls. "I came back to visit him every three or four months. In the end I came out to be with him.

"We were together for three years before I finally realised he was just after my money."

She could have gone home when that relationship ended, but she had come to love the way of life so much she decided to give up her job as a children's carer in the UK and stay in Jamaica. "I sold my house and decided to open a bar here in Negril. Now I am doing pretty well," she says.

Peggy says she has wised up to the men in Jamaica and now simply uses them - but "not in a bad way".

"I am not going to settle down, not at the moment anyway. I'm not emotionally attached to any of them, and I like it that way."

At her bar, she tells me: "I can have my pick of men here - it's great. I often have half-a-dozen men hanging around my bar and all of them want to date me. They don't take no for an answer. I have had them fight over me."

But just what is it about the Jamaican male that is attracting such large numbers of British women? A recent report estimated as many as 80,000 women a year are making the trip over.

Peggy reckons it is their incessant flattery and sexual magnetism.

"They do make you feel good. They make you feel like you are the most special woman in the world. They say things like, 'My God woman, I have been waiting for you all my life', and, 'Hey cherrylips, be my wife!'"

Peggy knows many of the men she dates are hoping she will give them money or buy them gifts.

"But I know better now than to give them anything, I let them drive my jeep now and again or I give them a few free drinks.

Although I know a lot of women do shell out for all sorts of things like gold jewellery and watches."

But the no-strings sex has a darker side - the spread of Aids is becoming an increasing problem. The infection rate in the Caribbean is second only to sub-Saharan Africa. Peggy says: "I practise safe sex. I would be an idiot not to."

As for the reputation she might acquire back home, she doesn't give a hoot: "I don't care what people think. When I tell some of my friends back home, they are openmouthed... but I think they are actually a bit jealous."

One night we follow Peggy to The Jungle, Negril's biggest club. A sign warns that gigolos, prostitutes and pimps are barred and drugs are banned - but the club is full of men and women openly touting their bodies and the air is thick with the pungent smell of marijuana.

Hardcore porn plays on a big screen, while beautiful local women slowly gyrate to the reggae beats and men watch, puffing on supersized joints.

But the men flock around Peggy as soon as they see her - and it's a similar story when any white woman turns up alone.

Peggy loves it: "It's one big party here in Negril. It's never dull. I don't ever want to go home. I am having the time of my life. I have brought up four children.

I have been married three times. I have made lunch boxes, prepared endless dinners. Now it's my time."

Back at our hotel, a tour bus rolls in. A plane-load of weary travellers tumble out. Among them are a number of single British women, clutching their cases and with a gleam in their eye.

Jeanette, a 48-year-old from Middlesbrough, has just flown in alone from Gatwick. We meet her as she's about to head to a reggae beach bar called Alfred's Ocean Palace. The mum-of-one is here for 10 days and she only has one mission in mind.

"Sure, I've come for a little fun.

This is my third trip in two years. I've been single for five years, and this is where I come to let my hair down and indulge in a little escapism. I'm not the only one. I've met loads of other British women out here - and we are all looking for one thing!"

Another day, another dollar and it's game on again, in the hunt for "black bamboo".
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-31 11:56:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

Good morning ladies....it is so grey and gloomy here, I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee -_-

I know we have had a discussion about places to move in the past...I wanted to see if anyone has any ideas about living in North Carolina...specifically the Raleigh/Chapel Hill area??

We are thinking about it very strongly...houses are still really affordable and jobs are everywhere. There are also 6 or 7 different jamaican restaurnats and shops so that must mean they are there :P

Any thoughts anyone???


xoxo
d



Friends of mine just moved to the Mooresville, NC area. They absolutely love it down there. They are right on a lake, they bought a boat, but she said it was soooo darn inexpensive. Three other couples that her *new* husband is friends with, moved down there right before they did. They are all living in the same community. I also have really good friends in the Mint Hill, NC area.

Hope that helps.... I've never been to either....some day.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-29 09:14:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
NEW QUESTION ----

What if our man is working (authorized) and then comes that 90th day. Does or will he **have** to stop working? Has any of your men worked until the interview ? I was doing a little bit of research, but it seems that the Employer would get in trouble "if caught". His job hasn't said anything about him "stopping" work at the 90th day.

I need some advice from you guys as to what you think....or would do. Would you have your man stop working until the interview? Or keep it as it is...work ?

Thanks a bunch !!

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-29 06:52:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
Happy Bday Anna, sounds like alot of fun....you'll need a week to catch up on sleep :D

CONGRATS Kimone....the babies are adorable!!!

Shauna....that's just unbelievable!! That's why there should be flippin permits for .....well, don't get me started!! I'll be 'round all day today, give me a buzz when you get a moment.

Jax, congrats on your big day. Your dress is beautiful.

Playin catch up today.

kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-29 06:33:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
What's your occupation? In addition do you have a part-time job and if so what do you do? Do you find that it's difficult to make ends meet on your normal salary; or do you have to work O.T. or have a part time job? Is anyone working additional jobs or hours just for this immigration process only?

I am a travel agent. In February 2004 I went out on "my own" and now own my own home based FULL service travel agency (i.e. no bosses!!). I come and go when I want, go on vacations when I want. It's quite nice. I also needed a job that allowed me to be 'round when my son got home from school (middle school), since he attended the same daycare for 8 yrs and his time there was "up".

I've been in the travel industry for 16 yrs now. I also have been working part-time (since Jan) for a financial advisor as an Operations Manager. It's extreeeemely flexible. Not getting a "paycheck" (I get paid after my clients travel) for the travel job, I just wanted to find something simple that's flexible that pays "every week/other week". My part-time boss is cool....and he owns his business out of his home.

I'm not married yet. We've had, like eeeeeeeveryone else, "major issues"...of should I stay or should I go and we're STILL working on that. Also with Craig working 10-11 hours a day and me doing my 2 jobs and then with my sons soccer schedule (he's had soccer tournaments the past 2 weekends and practice every night for the past 2 week).....just really haven't had time to focus on that next step.


Julie---CONGRATS !!! Elias is absolutely adorable !!!

Have a great week everyone!!

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-28 08:37:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
[quote name='Jamaica to CT' date='Aug 6 2006, 07:56 PM' post='360524']
Did anyone do anything this past weekend or have plans for the JA Independence Day holiday observed tomorrow?


We (me, Craig and my son) went to Washington DC for their Independence celebration at the OAS (in the gardens). It was such a really cool day. It was a bummer this year, that you had to pay for food....last year, it was ALL you can eat food for free all day....although they still had free flowing Red Stripe and thank god I brought some a little extra food with us, but.... they flippin ran OUT of the beer before the main band came on....also the music wasn't as great as this year compared to last year. I really liked Kimani (sp?) Marley and then Bare Essentials was there again. The MC was DJ Jerry...he's a trip. There were TONS of people there. Craig LOVED taking the train into DC....actually he really liked walking around DC and seeing the White House and it was nice to see him "regroup". He's been working 10-11 hour days and even worked on Sat. He LOVES his job ....they also fired 7 people on Friday for just "sitting around". So he knows, you don't work hard, you lose your job...just like that !!

Shemonya, thanks for the info...preciate the help!! One of these days we're going to HAVE to meet up with each in person woman !!

Kim, that's a tough one...I'll email ya back today (or tomorrow).

Julie....good luck to ya ! Aaaahhhh remembering that anticipation !!!

Dru....it's sooooooooooooooo hard for them to really realize how it is here, until they get here and experience everything 1st hand. Craig still has ALOT of issues about how things are here "rules"....etc, how people treat one another, but that also stems from WHAT they hear down there....which is ALOT of misinformation!!! Just try to keep reassuring him.....and once he gets here, settles in ....then you can move to the next step...

Squitto...congrats on Mr's job ...that was so darn sweet of him to splurge on ya !!

Michele...sitting on the deck, having a cup of .....sounds nice and relaxing. I'm glad that Tristan is feeling better.

Have a great week everyone !!!

Kelly :D
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-07 11:52:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)




:help: Rohan K1 expried on the 28th of July. We still had not filled in his AOS paperwork. To be honest the $ is what is holding us up. $580 for both AOS and EAD is hard right now :blush: , Is there anyone who had filed almost a month later after the wedding or longer (I plan to file by mid-Aug) and had no problems, What has been your experience. It is a good thing Rohan job pays him cash, but I dont think I should put he is working on the application, because that would be working without authorization...right?? His Ead also expired on the 28th, but he had the job from June. Please help. I am a little worried :(


Seriously...... $580 for the AOS and EAD??? I guess I was looking elsewher cause I thought it was only $380.00.....GREAT!!!!! :help: :help:

Also.....how much did everyone pay for the DS2030 to convert over to the new form or did your husband have to take a new medical???? I guess I need to start working more overtime and save, save save......



Hey Kim,

In Maryland...here's our breakdown-
I-131 (AP) - $170
I-485 -Adjust Status - $325
EAD - $180
Biometrics - $70
TOTAL - $745.00 ....plus medical stuff that may need to be done!



Good morning family.

Kelly - I found a doctor's office near your house who only charged us $11 for filing our the medical. I'll give you that information.


Shemonya, that would be excellent. The Howard County Walk-in Clinic is at the end of my apartment complex. I just haven't called around yet to find out prices.

So when I do call around, what do I ask ? If they do ............. sorry for the stupid question, it's just that I truly haven't had the time to dip into all of this....

Thanks !
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-04 13:31:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)


:help: Rohan K1 expried on the 28th of July. We still had not filled in his AOS paperwork. To be honest the $ is what is holding us up. $580 for both AOS and EAD is hard right now :blush: , Is there anyone who had filed almost a month later after the wedding or longer (I plan to file by mid-Aug) and had no problems, What has been your experience. It is a good thing Rohan job pays him cash, but I dont think I should put he is working on the application, because that would be working without authorization...right?? His Ead also expired on the 28th, but he had the job from June. Please help. I am a little worried :(


Seriously...... $580 for the AOS and EAD??? I guess I was looking elsewher cause I thought it was only $380.00.....GREAT!!!!! :help: :help:

Also.....how much did everyone pay for the DS2030 to convert over to the new form or did your husband have to take a new medical???? I guess I need to start working more overtime and save, save save......



Hey Kim,

In Maryland...here's our breakdown-
I-131 (AP) - $170
I-485 -Adjust Status - $325
EAD - $180
Biometrics - $70
TOTAL - $745.00 ....plus medical stuff that may need to be done!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-08-03 22:02:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)



Julie! How are you!! Any day now, eh? Michael must be so excited. I know Henry would be beside himself. Hopefully one day.

(Pls tell where you are registered again :help: )


Hey :D

I'm doing good - I'm due just one week from today! We are both SO excited... and anxious :clock: It feels like these last weeks are taking forever. And yes, one day you will waddling around just like me! It's only a matter of time.

We're registered at Target :thumbs:

Damien comes home tonight (L) We had a wonderful trip...7 of my closest friends traveled with us. My friends and I did lots of tourist stuff while Damien chilled with his friends and family. Damien went to the Sumfest the last 3 nights. I only made it one night...I saw Richie Spice, Lady Saw, G-Unit and Sizzla performances. My friends left Monday and I left Wednesday. Pictures will come soon.



Wow - sounds like a great trip sjb! How fun that you had so many friends go with, now that sounds like a great time :thumbs:



Julie-You must be sooo excited.......Do you have the babaies room finshed or will he be sleeping in your room for now?

Welcome back Shemonya!!! You also must be excited to see Damien...... I am glad to hear that you had a great vacations...sounds fun!!!

Kelly...how is Craigs job going......Did he start the new warehouse position today????

Quick questions for all you veterans......after your submit the AOS and your husband receives approval (green card).....What document does he use to travel back to Jamaica?????? Does he get a new passport or what happens...we are traveling back to Jamaica in April 2007 for his son's birthday....we should have the green card by then (God willing....) But I am not sure how that works.....HELP!!! :help:



Hey Kim....

I won't know how the job is until I pick him up tonight....he'll be tired working 11 hours in a warehouse in this flippin heat !!

You can apply for an EAD when filing your paperwork, but I don't know the in between stuff. I would like to be able to have Craig travel (before the interview)...just in case....ya know, being in the travel industry....good deals, we gotta go !!

I'm glad that everything worked out at the Hilton. I liked that hotel. It was extremely convenient to the Embassy!

Please correct me if I'm wrong....veterans. We're going to go back, hopefully next year for our renewals....don't know when, just depends on the work and soccer schedules.

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-07-31 16:49:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

(F) Hello Ladies! It has been a long time since I have written but I have been creeping the forum watching all of your beautiful moments unfold. So much has happened in the past year for all of us, it's so amazing! I am writing now because I need some immediate support.

We have had on and off again discussions about our families and their support (or lack of) in the past. Now it is time for my confessions if you will. I have done all of this immigration and marriage stuff without any of my family members being aware of it. I am close to my family but so distant from them at the same time. My parents and sisters (one of them is starting to understand) have never approved of mine and Henry's relationship for more reasons than racial...over the years it has almost completely vanished from our conversations. When I made the decision to go through with the K1 I made that decision on my own and with the support of my very best friends who knew that I was doing what I had to do. I got married to Henry under the same pretense. For the past year I have had the most wonderful life. I speak with my family every week or so and chit chat about this and that, they never ask me about him and I constantly try to drop his name or talk about things that we have done..etc. My parents live in TX and I have a sister in Boston and Vermont. I have actually only seen them once in the past year so "lying" has been easy but the haunting of this has not.

Yesterday was our one year anniverary and while it was such a rewarding day for us and so accomplishing there was this lingering feeling of major anxiety. I am telling my family today that we eloped yesterday. The idea of telling them that we have been lying for the past year is too excruciating..especially as my mother recently got diagnosed with breast cancer. I don't want them to be too hurt. We have decided that this is the best immediate solution in order to get the truth on the table and keep everyone's feelings in check. Now I am struggling with how to go about this confession. I am making the phone calls tonight. First I will call my parents, then my most opposing sister and finally my happy sister. I'm not even thinking about the immediate family and family friends yet as this is the main priority.

I am so excited to get everything off my chest but also terrified to hear the reactions. I have made a few jokes that I'm going to sit with my bottle of Jack Daniels and just bite the bullet...

If anyone has any advice to offer or is in a similar situation...please share your thoughts. I am waiting for 7PM to come for the first of the three dreaded phone calls. (F)



--------
Doodle,

I TOTALLY know what you are going through!!! My parents are very veeeery prejudicist and THEIR ignorance is intolerable!! We only live about 6 miles from my parents and they have NO CLUE that I've been with Craig for almost 2 years!!! AND that he's been here and we share the same place for over a month now! They will know soon, because soccer season is approaching and our 1st tournament is on Aug 19th. So that should be reeeeally interesting. I haven't even spoken to them for almost 2 weeks !!

I'm NOT living "my life" for "my" parents. They've been like this since day one and out of the 3 kids in our family "I" was the only one to have black friends. To this day, most of my friends are black. Most of my son's friends are black, asian and hispanic.

My mother made an ignorant statement the last time we spoke (in person).....they took my twin nieces (that were visiting for a week in the beginning of July) to a playground near the airport to watch the planes come in...and my mom said to ME...they were the ONLY 2 white kids, but they had fun !!! I said to her, Mom...it's NOT the color of a persons skin that MAKES them the person, kids do NOT "see" color !!! One day, I hope you won't be so ignorant !! and she said, not in this lifetime!!! and I just said.......well, that makes ME really sad !!! and Karma is a reeeeal bee-atch !!

You don't know HOW badly I wanted to say......well YOUR future son-in-law is black !!!!!!!!!!!

Me, my son and Craig are happy and that's what matters the most. My friends are my support system, not my family....and my "family" has NEVER been of any type of support to me in my life ever.

So, I just say....live YOUR life to the fullest and be happy. I know how much it hurts to not have family support, but we will and can never change their ignorance !!!

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-07-31 10:18:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
Kelly -- What did Craig ever do about shaving?


Got a Remington shaver kit...it has about 5 or 6 pieces and he absolutely LOVES it and it was only $19.99 at Walmart and he also liked the Gillette Fusion Power Razor (a razor that needs batteries??) and that was on sale for $6.99 !! He's stoked.

Okay, speaking of totally stoked!!! Craig had seen in the paper last week for warehouse job and he highlights the ones he likes, and when I was checking the ones he's highlighted out I said, hey a friend of mine is the National Sales Director to this company !! So I emailed him and then sent him Craig's resume 2 days ago and my friend (whose name is also Craig) called and said, can he come in on Monday and start working !!! My Craig doesn't even know yet and he'll be soooooooo flippin happy.

From those that know, these guys having a job (and making THEIR own hard earned money).....brings SUCH joy, happiness and a smile to their faces (of course ours too)!!! The feeling that *they* can finally contribute....it's awesome !!

Squitto...pictures are beautiful. I would love to see more, can you email me??






Duane already sold a few paintings and this helps out a lot


Kim -- I would LOVE to see some of his paintings. I'm always looking......is there somewhere I can go (on the internet) to see them? Or, could you e:mail me some shots?

i know this is SOOO off topic......BUT i was reading on CNN last night and Lance from n'sync is gay :blink: he was my fav back in that day...:lol: but i never saw that coming....just thought i would share...


I was wondering what the girls who liked him would think.....guess this means N'Sync is officially done, huh?



when i read it i was kinda laughing/crying... :lol: :lol: i guess they are over...oh well i have my man... :lol: :lol:



A friend of mine who is the manager of a dental office in Orlando (where Lance goes) has been telling me that she thought he was gay years ago and I was like, naaaahhhhh...... happy for him that he came out and can now be comfortable in his own skin !!

I love Justin !! His new song that just came out.......different......but I like it !

Is anyone watching So you think you can dance ?? We're totally hooked on that show !!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-07-27 11:54:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

Just checkin in.....alls well over here. Craig is going to start a job tomorrow, working at a college. A good friend of mine is the President of the college and he'll be doing odds and ends stuff all over the college. He also had an interview today with a temp agency (for warehouse folks, etc). He had a 2nd interview for a laborer's job this past Sat and then I ran him all over applying for jobs at the 15 million grocery stores, Walmart, Kmart and Target that are near to us.



That's great news Kelly - I'm glad Craig is adjusting so well. I hope he had a great first day :thumbs:


Hey Julie, I bet you're ready...those last couple of weeks....killer, especially the way the weather has been !!

Craig had a great day yesterday. He was soooooooooo excited to start working!! He didn't get home until 7pm (gone since 8am)....looong day--but he got to sit in traffic!! (he's also riding with my friend to and from). He'll be working at this job at least the rest of this week and possibly next week, but they are also having a job fair at the college today, so he took a bunch of resumes. My friend (who he is working for) said that he could take time off from working to go and check the job fair out. So that's very cool.


Rhonda, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It just makes me soooo sad about the stuff that goes on there !!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-07-26 10:00:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
Thanks Kim for the downlowon how things went. It seemed they went easy for you guys. I was just asking if you could be there with him because my sentors rep told me it was not worth going to his interview because he would be in a holding room where he did the interview hiself but it sounds like that is not the case at all. I will need to tell him the day I get back so he knows what really is happening. Best wishes on the things to come. How was the baseball game?
Cheers
Jax
[/quote]


That's what I thought, that there was some type of room to go in to....but it is just like a bank. Window 1 where you put your interview letter is where everyone is seated and then around the corner are the other window.......with our interview, Craig was asked to go sit down and "I" got interviewed and window 10 gave ME such grief !!!

Just checkin in.....alls well over here. Craig is going to start a job tomorrow, working at a college. A good friend of mine is the President of the college and he'll be doing odds and ends stuff all over the college. He also had an interview today with a temp agency (for warehouse folks, etc). He had a 2nd interview for a laborer's job this past Sat and then I ran him all over applying for jobs at the 15 million grocery stores, Walmart, Kmart and Target that are near to us.

CONGRATS to those and I pray for those with the losses and Tony's son not feeling well and WELCOME to the Newbies !!!

JoJo --by us signing the affadavit of support holding "us" (that petition) liable? or is that ONLY after the marriage ?? I thought by signing that, we are "responsible" for them for 10 yrs???

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-07-24 15:11:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, My Hubby's interview date is 2/1/07

do i need to attend the interview with my fiance in barbados...its gonna be tough for me to get some time off within the next few months. does this hurt our chances..i am fedxing him all the originals and even more proof of a relationship



We are all mostly going through the Jamaican embassy in this forum and for Jamaica interview it's highly recommended that you would attend. We wouldn't be familiar with the Barbados Embassy. Don't know if they are *as strict* as the Jamaican Embassy. Good luck to you.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-01-24 18:18:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaVisa Approved!!!!!

I just wanted to thank everyone for their help during this long process. My fiance visa was approved yesterday and he is coming next week!!! :dance: :dance: :dance: I will post a review of his experince at the embassy today. Thanks again!



Congrats!! but I'm confused. You have on your information that AOS is approved? What type of Visa did you guys apply for ? K1 ??
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-14 09:50:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaIs your SO still in the same field
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Sep 13 2007, 04:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
of work? Are they doing the same time of work now that they are stateside, or did they change altogether? If so, what field are they currently in? If they changed altogether, why?


Unfortunately Craig can't work in watersports, since the nearest water is 2 1/2 hours away. He got "into" warehousing jobs and has done a ton of different jobs with the 3 temp agencies he worked for. His favorite "job" was building blackboards for schools. Now he's a water bottling company and loves it, but eventually he wants to get into A/C type of field.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-15 20:11:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 03:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ Nov 8 2007, 01:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Nov 8 2007, 12:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm sorry to...but trust me, I'll be okay. I thank god EVERYday that I have my friends that I met with on VJ that support me and are there for me everyday....and you know who you guys are !!!!! If not, than I would have jumped off the nearest bridge long ago !!

Unfortunately, "I" don't have many options at this point.... I can't get a separation because he LIVES here. In Maryland you have to be legally separated for a yr before you can file for divorce. Hence, I can't MAKE him leave.

Number 2, in regards to a protection order, I haven't looked into the filing a separation 1st....but I do know that I have to show proof that he's been abusive, or whatever else.... we've been there done that, bought the T-shirt (2 1/2 months ag)....he CHANGED (for the better) for a month and now back to square one. I told him last night (in one of his rages) IF he were to even TRY to even get physical again, remember that "I" was REEEEEAL nice the 1st time !!!! and there are absolutely NO 2nd chances !!!

Also, since I've been supporting all of us financially from day one (although he's been working nonstop since July of LAST year) "I" don't have ANY extra money to pay for him to leave, nor do I feel "I" need to pay for him to leave. He throws that "you are responsible for me" in my face (his cousin tells him that) and I tell him.........um, ya betta watch what you say with that because "I" could soooo show proof that this was fraud, so you may want to think of something else !!!

He threatens ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the time that he is going to leave, but he needs money. I do NOT UNDERSTAND why he just won't go and stay with that good ole family in Philly !!! His brother knows everything and how he's been treating me, etc etc and I told him that he NEEDS to get out of here. Not quite sure they take me seriously.

I say to him all the time, wow you REALLY put up quite an act for being such a wonderful person BEFORE you got here.......seriously, have you ever really and truly thought about an acting career ?? He says, I wasn't acting.... yeah, okay !!!

He's immature, plain and simple..... he'll grow up someday, but "I" won't be around to see that happen. I said that "I" am training him to be a better person for the next one !!


I find it difficult to believe that you REALLY want to him leave.....why would you pick him up, drop him off anywhere? Or pick up the phone when he called from the wedding?
Or speak to his relatives?
If you think there's a chance, then you need to work on that, if there is NO chance and you REALLY want to get rid of him, it's easy enough.
Don't speak to him, don't cook for him, don't answer the phone to him, don't go anywhere with him....While it's not my business, from I've seen, you SAY you want him out, but put up with him being there.


That's why I asked the questions earlier. I know me...and I am crazy too. He would come home to an empty refrigerator and cabinets. I would eat before I got home. I would not carry cash or anything that he could get his hands on my money. I would pull the distributor cap out of the car at night when I parked and hide it.

I would make his life pure hell in my home too. He would wake up to a wet a** because I would pee the bed every night he decided to climb in next to me. I would let him "view" that time of the month still floating in the toilet. I would be a nasty FILTHY HOHO to get him to leave.

Ah joke mi mek...but yuhseemi same wey. LOL LOL


I do WANT out. Why should "I" pick up my life and my sons and move ??? That's NOT happening. I live in a low income apartment, which I am NOT willing to give up and move !!! The aptmt management doesn't know he lives here, nor will I tell them that !

I have tried over and over again to make it work. "I" TOLERATE him being here, just like a roommate....sucks, but it's reality!!! I was sent down this path for whatever reasons and I'm trying to deal with it the best that I can. Craig never ever sees me as "miserable". I too am a GREAT actress !!! Me and my son laugh and have a good time. He HATES it! Trust me "I" make HIS life miserable to the fullest !!! Had to come to that months ago.... SUCKS, but that's the way it is.

If and when he ever calls (never does though), I do not answer. I do not pick him up and drop him off ANYwhere. He takes the bus everywhere. He's even chosen NOT to go to work because I wouldn't take him....whatever! I never picked him up from the bus station when he came home from Philly, I guess he got a cab, I was asleep when he got home !! When he called from Philly, he was using my cell phone, didn't expect for one moment that his father would be on the other end!

We don't speak to each other, even when he talks to me sometimes, I completely ignore him because I know what's going to come out of his mouth !! That's when the RAGE starts to boil within him....like last night. We don't sleep together, we don't go anywhere together, I do NOT cook for him, I do NOT do his laundry, I do not clean up after him EVER! Trust me, he's seen the bare refrigerator for the past 3 months with only foods in there that me and my son eat!!! and kisses his teeth everytime he opens it and makes a comment....when are you going to buy food and I just laugh!! I hide my keys (house/car) and the house phones. I take the change (silver) out of the basket and put it in the car so that he has to find other means for bus change. I've had worse roommates, but that's what we are ....roommates! He also doesn't have a clue that I take money out of his bank account to pay for things like the phone and electric. When I buy food I buy stuff that he doesn't like (or know how to cook) or my son and I will go out and eat.

I had no intentions of filing for AOS and I did not pay for any of it. I told him either he LEAVES the US before that cut off date OR we'll file and once he's approved we're going to split, but he does NOT have to live here in the meantime. Yep, being nice...and YEP I totally could have been a TOTAL bee-atch and called immigration and whatnot at the time..... those are the bad decisions that I now have to live with !! He started getting abusive AFTER we filed ...and I'm not even sure where that all came from...!!!

I'm truly SORRY that I have come on here to BOTHER some folks and YES my relationship (not my life) is F&&Ked up, it truly DOES suck!!! Yes, for awhile I would have LOVED for it to have worked ....but it's not going to ! I pray to God every night that he would give Craig the strength to MOVE ON !!! I ask Craig WHY doesn't he just leave???

Anyway, this will be my last post !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-11-08 14:41:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (rhondapayter @ Nov 8 2007, 01:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Marlita @ Nov 8 2007, 10:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And whether or not our husbands are here or not means absolutely nothing to the matter in which we handle our relationships.


whistling.gif You are in for so many surprises when the time comes. You have no idea......


Right on !!! Yeah...right..... to be young again !!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-11-08 13:41:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)


Oh boy, OH BOY. You all know that I have to chime in on today's posts. I know some of you may be shaking your heads and saying oh no here she goes again :whistle: .

Before I put my 2 cents in I want to ask Kim how her sister is doing and let Shauna know she's in my thoughts today as I know that she not only lost her beloved grandmother but also was deeply saddened by the sad and senseless deaths of the Amish girls.

Nowww....



To answer Ms. Squitto's question:
I'm an Investor Accountant at a mortgage lending firm. I HATE IT. It is too stressful. My dream job is to be the person who goes from company to company watering plants :hehe: I don't have a green thumb but I think it will be be a stressful job. If I was independently wealthy or able to make ends meet without my current salary I would definently take a job less stressful even if it's not as prestigious sounding as what I do now. I always wanted to be a travel agent when I grew up because it seemed like you could travel all over the world; but I now know that it's not really as glamorous as it seems and I intensely dislike selling. I've always done the safe thing and stayed in my field but I would love to do something where I could make a difference in people's lives. Advocacy would be the field I would go into if I wasn't too poor and pressed for time to go back to school.

Am I the only one who doesn't think that it's a woman's "duty" to put up with any ole BS that some of these men dish out. Yes, I understand that it will take time and understanding for ALL to adjust and yes you have to choose your battles and not sweat the small stuff. The stress of being put into a totally different culture and away from family friends and familarity can cause anyone to get depressed, stressed and cause them to regress. However that doesn't mean that they should treat their women any old way and take out their frustrations on them and make life miserable for them. I don't go into any relationship thinking it's going to be easy; but I do expect to be treated respectfully and fairly. I've been in this relationship nearly 3 years and many, many times nearly ended it because of the cultural differences. I totally agree that if you have not lived 'the culture' that it will be extremely difficult at times and again I agree with Ann where she says it depends on what kind of economic and geographical area or situation they grew up in. Even though I truly love Tristan I may never get married because he knows 'I'm not having it' and he know's that I mean it. I don't think that women should allow themselves to be treated badly for the sake of having a man or putting up with anything beacause of fear of what others may say. I don't believe in coddling grown men. As I said before I may not be married and I may never get married again but one thing I will say is that I did it my way.

Next topic:

ANNA :thumbs: :dance: :dancing:
How very exciting :yes:


Good morning family.

:thumbs: Michele. That's kinda what I was trying to say. Some women I met during this journey put up with some crazy mess...they feel bad because the men left JA. Well you can't use the cultural and adjustment excuses forever. I don't baby grown men either....I can't do so much for him. Damien knows my tolerance level and I know his as well. We have a much better understanding of each other now.





Hey Rhonda, hey Shemonya :D

Good morning.



Good morning. Enjoy your Saturday.


THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU you guys.....
I was (still am) very very frustrated !!!!! I went to my sons school yesterday to meet with the Vice P, the guidance counselor (that my son flippin thinks is HOT), the teacher he "disrespected" and then the Principal came in. It was a GREAT talk and my son feels ALOT better. Hearing from these other women that ARE married that ALL couples HAVE arguments and disagreements, helped my son realize "we" weren't the only ones. The guidance counselor is going to be a HUGE help with this transition!!! Then he showed me his interim report --it's before the actual report card comes out next month.(while we were ready to start the meeting) and it was actually pretty good. My son told everyone that "I" ride him, his coach rides him and then he wants it to be ONLY me and him. The guidance c say that we ALL want what is best for you Austin and when mommy or coach "rides" you, it's not that they are picking on you. I KNOW your mommy loves you, she's the only one that's been there for you. Then she asked ...do you want mommy to be happy ? and he said yes and she said that you know that mommy DESERVES to be happy and that when mommies are happy everyone is happy? and it made him think for a minute .....shoot like "I" haven't said that before!!!

I was really concerned because my son said last Monday, that he was going to die because he's so depressed and that maybe HE should kill himself !! I never told Craig....but I told him yesterday (after the meeting and we were alone running errands). I THINK that Craig is starting to realize (well, I HOPE so) that this is NOT just all about HIM !!!! Then we ran into the guidance c at Target and I introduced Craig .....he thinks she's cute too....dear lord !! but anyway, we had a really good night last night.

The soccer tournament was canceled this weekend THANK THE LORD ...and now we get to have "quality time" ...the 3 of us.

Dee, my sons father has never been in the picture, it's me and only me. My parents have NEVER supported me, they never ever babysit --don't offer, my dad MAY take my son out and go things with him once OR twice a year and they only live 6 miles from us !!! The last serious relationship I was in was almost 6 years ago and Austin really doesn't remember much of that (plus the guy wasn't around like Craig). I'm still ONLY friends with this guy, we all (me, Craig, the guy, and several others) hung out when Craig 1st got here.

Craig changed sooooooooooooooooooooooo much after his 3rd week here. He can be VERY selfish AND immature!! His mother wasn't in the picture growing up and his grandmother raised him. His mother came back into the picture about 4 yrs ago and he treats me like "I" am his mother.....and "I" do NOT take that...trust me. Craig doesn't take that "I" AM an independent woman and I have been on my own since I was 19. I'm street smart and I don't take #######, especially off of him and HE pushes it, using phrases like.......you're the woman that's why, I'm not doing that because that's YOUR job!!! So, dishes sit in the sink literally for 5 days or trash is piled up overflowing until one of the BOYS does it !!!! We had a GREAT system at first, he would do the dishes I would put them away, I would do the laundry and he would fold them.

I told Craig yesterday (in the car..........best talks are in the car, cause they can't RUN)........I said Craig, we ALL need to support each other doesn't matter HOW bad it gets !!! You can't keep running AND threatening you're going to leave. You HAVE to stick it out and work everything out.

I do pick and chose my battles, but when he has been working (since July 25th) and doesn't bother helping ON his own ...it's very veeeeeeeery frustrating. Doesn't "understand" WHY !!!! says HE doesn't have the money to help!! WHO KNOWS when we'll file the paperwork for AOS, because I told him "I" am NOT paying for it. I will put about $200 towards it and HE has to do the rest................THAT's when our battles start !!!!!!!!!!

When he was in Jamaica I only helped him on 2 occassions with money and he brings that up ALOT ....you never helped me, you let ME struggle, blah blah blah.....sometimes he now gets the jist of how "I" struggle, being a single parent and doing it ALL on my own!!!

Mindy, yes I truly do LOVE Craig, but I would be TOTALLY fine if he were to go. Our bad times far outweigh our good times !!!! I won't let him disrespect me over and over again and it's every other day !! I know that he loves me, truly loves me, but I can't STAND the fact that he lies to me. When he does he NEVER gets away with it, cause I always find out.

The other "issue" in our relationship has been what Craig calls a "friend". He continues to say that she's "a friend". She lives in Mississippi, she's an American black woman that he says (now) they met in Jamaica (before me). He's NEVER mentioned her before, she started calling on Sept 4th (he arrived here on June 22nd). His cousin lives in New York, came here on a K3....and is TOTALLY MISERABLE. His cousin has been a HUGE part of our problems because he's been feeding Craig's head with HIS horrible marriage. I mean this chic is MEAN!!!! I've spoken with him several times....but the cousin is friends with this other girls friend.....

This "B" has called our house several times at 12:45 AM, 1:43 AM and 7:30 AM and NEVER leaves a message !!!!!!!!!!! I called her 2 weekends ago and left her a message for her to call me, she goes and text messages Craigs phone 3 min later (which I had in my hand----he wasn't here). So I called her back (from the cell), she didn't answer, so I left another message for her to call me back on OUR home phone ....I was VERY nice about it!!! SHE NEVER EVER CALLED BACK. Friend............yeah, right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep telling Craig she wants what I have and she's NOT going to get it !!!! and I'm not going to give her the satisfaction that it PISSES me off to no end. Craig doesn't know the actual times she's called because I've erased the number off caller ID and keep my phone ringer OFF!!! This week I just signed up for CALL Intercept and now she can NEVER call here and I blocked his cousins number for now !!!!!!!!!!! Craig knows HOW I feel about his whole BS....says he won't call her, but then on Thurs-this week she called him on the cell !!!!!!!!!!! He "says" that he told her they can't talk and to stop calling........I do NOT believe him. I asked him yesterday how many times did she call you today (yesterday) and he was like, I didn't talk to her......and I said, okay....can I check the phone? He was surprised that I asked......no calls.

If it's not one thing it's another. I've been to Jamaica a TRILLION times and "I" know the culture very very well. I have a ton of Jamaican friends and I've stayed at their houses (no running water, etc etc). That's not "our" issues at all. Craig has had his bags packed 3x. I just said to him last week.........are you going to unpack anytime soon????

Thanks for letting me vent AND your support !!! I appreciate you all "listening".

Have a great weekend everyone!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-10-07 09:14:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
I WISH YOU ALL THE THE BEST OF THE HOLIDAYS.

BE SAFE and HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY 2007 ONLY BE BETTER!!!

Thanks again for everyones support this past year!!!!

Good luck to those that are new, going through this crazy process to be with the one that you love !

:dance:

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-31 12:57:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

M e r r y C h r i s t m a s ! !




:thumbs: :thumbs:




DITTO !!!!! Have a wonderful holiday everyone and again thanks to everyone for their support. It has REEEEEALLY helped me (and Craig) and for the newbies out there........this is a GREAT site for help and/or information!!!!

CONGRATS Ann, have a wonderful day (L)

For the newbies, especially the "young ones" ....truly live life....don't rush into anything you have your ENTIRE lives ahead of you !! Like Anna said, this process is EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMELY stressful !!!!!! Patience goes a loooooooong way and life experience, especially with my relationship..........well, I just know there is a GOLD star in heaven for me !!!

Everything has been GREAT with us.....fiiiiiiiiiiiinally !!!! I don't know with all of the other guys (and gals), but it seems that they finally get the "jist" of how things are here....takes about 6 months !!!! Some things probably will take longer.

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-24 16:26:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
\ :ot:

Just a Travel FYI ----

SEVERAL U.S. TAX CHANGES TAKE EFFECT JANUARY 1, 2007. THE FOLLOWING EXCISE TAXES ON AIR TRANSPORTATION CHANGE EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2007.

- SEGMENT FEE INCREASES FROM $3.30 TO $3.40

- INTERNATIONAL ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE TAXES EACH INCREASE FROM $14.50 TO $15.10

- ALASKA AND HAWAII ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE TAXES INCREASE FROM $7.30 TO $7.50


THESE ADJUSTMENTS APPLY TO TICKETS ISSUED ON OR AFTER JANUARY 1, 2007.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-21 09:42:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

Everyone have a great Christmas and New Years Eve. I am off to JA really bright an early tommorrow. I will try to get on the net if I can.
Take Care,

Jax



Have safe and HAPPY holiday !!!!! Where's our holiday smileys??? They should update those with different holidays, occassions, etc...they have some halloween ???

Kelly :joy:
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-20 09:41:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

IAnd if he makes that "kiss teet" sound one more time with his mouth I am gonna be going to jail for murder :ranting: :girlwerewolf2xn:


Me too, It grives me crazy. :wacko:



I ALLLLLWAYS say to Craig....do you have (whatever meal he just had)...for example...say for breakfast....do you have some eggs stuck in your teeth?? He's really cut that annoying noise out ALOT !!

Everyone ready for Christmas? Any plans for New Years?
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-19 16:12:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
Monday...Sunny. Highs in the lower 70s !!! This weather is UNbelievable here today!!! I know God will have something up his sleeve come Feb!!

Hey Everyone,

Just checkin in....things actually have been reeeeeeeally good !!! I do truly appreciate everyones support (that gave me support)!!!

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-18 11:34:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
[quote name='shermike' post='618633' date='Dec 13 2006, 07:38 PM'][quote name='Jamaica to CT' post='618610' date='Dec 13 2006, 07:19 PM'][quote name='luvtravlin' post='618459' date='Dec 13 2006, 05:53 PM']Thanks Stephen, but I'm handling this situation the best way that I can (and know how). Yes, I'm not happy, but I'm also soooooooo busy that I truly don't have time to worry about it. Craig doesn't do this *uckery stuff all the time, just some of the times....we have ALOT of laughs and have great great talks. We've talked about Mississippi and it was alll about money and she strung him along saying she'd help. WHO KNOWS what went on with this woman and WHY she felt like she HAD to continue to call him and yes HE needed to be the one to stop it....but I DID and it's done !!!

I will NOT let this situation get "violent" like that just to get him to leave....sorry, not my way of handling things!! Plus been in a domestic situation like that yeeeeears ago Stephen and I don't intend to ever go back there again!!!! Until you have been IN that type of situation....that's just WAAAY crazy !!!

Thanks for your opinion/advice.....

Kelly[/quote]
Well I'm not going to endear myself to anyone by what I'm about to say but here goes...in my opinion I don't believe that Kelly is ready to give up on her marriage yet. That's totally up to her because she has to make her own decisions. I believe that she's using the comments made by others to show to Craig to "prove" to him that he's not acting in an appropiate manner to get him to shape up. Which he probably does for a while. I'm not going to pretend to know everything that goes on in their household and Kelly has stated that they do have some good times together. I don't believe that if someone is really determined to end a relationhip that they have to go to extremes. However I know that when I was really ready for a relationship to end I would do whatever was necessary, barring breaking the law or breaking my moral conscienceness, to end it. Kelly's inclined to think that things are ok now since other other woman is seemingly out of the picture; but I'm afraid that it's only a temporary improvement to her marriage.

Men and women will hit on married people and not care one iota about their marital status. My former husband was a body builder and men always hit on me in his presence. A lot of times older men would offer me things that my husband couldn't afford to give me at that time. I never once entertained the thought. We never had to worry about each other because of our devotion to each other and our marriage vows. We were both married at a very young age too.

Any man(or woman) that is married and uses another woman for "favors" whether it be money or whatever is no good. I don't care what other qualites that he has that are endearing to you. The "handwriting is on the wall". Sorry.

I'm sorry if I'm offending Kelly or anyone else but I wouldn't say anything if I didn't care enough.

I really don't mean to single out one person here because I know there are some may very well find themselves in the same position.

Whatever decision Kelly makes, I sincerely wish her well.

I agree with you that she is not ready to leave the marriage. I going out on a limb here and people may kill me for saying this but I think she likes the attention that she is getting from everyone on the thread. I am not saying this to be mean. I am just saying it like I see it. Not many people would put up with such BS. I know I wouldn't and I am not the USC.

Have at it...
[/quote]


LIKE THE ATTENTION ????? Now YOU are a total trip !!!!! It's called SUPPORT, ADVICE, opinions, etc...... shoot at least "I" am putting my business "out there" to help others that may be (or might go through) the same situation. I've been on this site since May of last year and ask those that know me know that I never really ever put my business out there, but I KNOW that there are several women on here that have gone (or are going) through what "I" am going through (not to this extreme)....some have made it, and some are still trying............but "I" have had the courage to post "my" entire f**d up situation!!!

Thanks for the laugh though !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-13 23:24:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

So Kelly,

I am reading your last message posted and I am a lil confused. So why again did you not just hand Craig the phone and let her get him out of your house? I was reading and i was like, ok, so she has decided to cut her losses and then wham, you told her he wa not there. So I am Craig sitting down there listening to this thinking, "well damn she still wants me. I can continue to play my games. have my cake and eat it." Trust me, Mississippi is not gone by a long shot cause by now he has called her and told her what happened. It is your decision dear, but looks like he may be reading these mixed signals the same way I am reading them.

The following may come across as a bit drastic, but I am only sharing this for informational purposes. My friend a year ago was in your situation and because of the Laws of the State of MD, she could not just ask him to leave because technically she could not force him out since the house was now the marital home. She was also concerned about how his meandering around the US if he left her home but stayed in the US would affect her. That I-134 may come back and bite her. So what did she do? Well, Mr man had a slight temper and aggravated enough he would react. So she she set about the task of aggravating him until he became violent. The violence was simply he push her out of his way and accidentally ripped her clothes. Doestic violence is not tolerated anywhere. She called the cops. He claimed it was an accident. The cops arrested him anyway because they have to take someone out of the home until a cse determines the validity of the domestic assault charges. Sg=he simply stated she feared for her life and wanted him gone. He was arrested on domestic violence charges. It gave her a cause to take out a protective order which did not allow him to return to the house pending the outcome of the case.The law against foreigners are strict. He was not released and was subsequently deported to jamaica even before the case was completed. She filed for divorce and he was not here to defend himself and the domestic violence case was enough evidence. We had a couple drinks some months ago celebrating the granting of the divorce.

Many of you may call me drastic and devious, but when you have to protect what you have worked hard for, you do what the hell you have to and pray to the man above for forgiveness. Someone is in your home and does not want to leave, you take the gloves off and get them the hell out. I do not have the time in my life to be miserable and if I ever want to be, I will do it myself and noy give someone that task.

Now Kelly, I am not advocating this as a solution to your problem , this was just for informational purposes. You know I am not that kind of person. (that is my disclaimer)Just remember, you have to take control of this situation if you want him gone cause he is not going to do it if you give him mixed signals.



Thanks Stephen, but I'm handling this situation the best way that I can (and know how). Yes, I'm not happy, but I'm also soooooooo busy that I truly don't have time to worry about it. Craig doesn't do this *uckery stuff all the time, just some of the times....we have ALOT of laughs and have great great talks. We've talked about Mississippi and it was alll about money and she strung him along saying she'd help. WHO KNOWS what went on with this woman and WHY she felt like she HAD to continue to call him and yes HE needed to be the one to stop it....but I DID and it's done !!!

I will NOT let this situation get "violent" like that just to get him to leave....sorry, not my way of handling things!! Plus been in a domestic situation like that yeeeeears ago Stephen and I don't intend to ever go back there again!!!! Until you have been IN that type of situation....that's just WAAAY crazy !!!

Thanks for your opinion/advice.....

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-13 17:53:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)
[quote name='Jonesie' post='616627' date='Dec 12 2006, 07:14 PM'][quote name='luvtravlin' post='616524' date='Dec 12 2006, 02:54 PM'][quote name='Jonesie' post='615836' date='Dec 12 2006, 01:04 PM'][quote
The way I see it, the issue is with Craig. Kelly is married to him and he has an obligation to her as her husband. The outside party (Mississippi) is what her husband needs to deal with because he's the one that brought her in the middle of their relationship in the first place. If Craig wants Mississippi to stop callin he woulda put her in check, got the numbers changed, etc. a long time ago. It's pointless for Kelly to try and talk to her because Mississippi won't even respond to her (as she pointed out with leaving voicemails, etc. in the past asking her to call back) - and obviously Mississippi has no respect for their marriage or else she wouldn't still be around.

If Craig wants to make his marriage work then he needs to cut all ties with this woman and mean it. There is nothing Kelly can do about their relationship, all she can do is decide to stay in her marriage and try to work things out or kick his rass to the curb.

If it were my husband, I wouldn't deal with the other woman because she owes me nothing. He made the mistake by stepping out the marriage to have an affair (be it emotional or sexual) so he has to deal with it. I'd pray and trust that the Lord guide me to make the right decision.

Many people these days don't respect the bond and commitment of a marriage and you can't force them to do so. I agree that many women these days are disrespectful (in regards to being with married men), but again what is the husband doing to keep these women coming around, calling, flirting, etc.? He has to be giving signals.[/quote]


I had a moment to finally come up for air..........

We were arguing on Fri Dec 8th, so I picked up the phone and called her (I know her number by heart...sad)...and left a message and said....Hi Kris, this is Kelly, Craig's wife......I just wanted to let you know that I'm kicking him out of the house and he needs money, but I don't have the money at this time and he says that YOU have money.......so if you could call him and help him out, that would be great because he said that YOU would help him.

She called his cell phone on Sunday night about 11:15pm (Craig was right there) and I answered it and she asked if Craig was there and she said is this Kelly and I kindof laughed and said, yes.... and she said I'm calling back like you said to....I said, he's no longer at this number like ...uh oh....do you know where he is? and I said, I have no idea and she said, did he go back and I said, yes, I sent him back. Do you know how to reach him and I said, again, I have no idea!!! and hung up.

Now....I think she's now gone....but, doesn't fix that fact about what's been happening for months and how my feelings are now. He "threatened" again this moring that he was leaving and I'm like.....pleeeease just go and then the whole, I don't have any money..... blah blah blah. I said the ONLY money that I'll be giving to you is for a plane ticket !!!!

I truly know that this is NOT going to work, it's just now getting him OUT of the house !!!!
[/quote]

I am so sorry you're going through this Kelly. I support whatever decision you make. It's unfortunate that you and your son are in this situation now. I don't know the rules for your state or immigration rules in regards to putting him out but you should not have to suffer through this with him in your house :no:
[/quote]


We haven't even touched the AOS process, so according to what I've read and people have sent to me, I'm not responsible at all. Plus if he "runs", than those are HIS consequences and I've told him that I WILL report him....so if HE wants to live "on the run", that's up to him.

We'll be fine. My son doesn't have 98% of what has been going on. I've really become 2 TOTALLY different people, one in front of my son and the BEE-ATCH in front of Craig !!! In front of both....just "happy go lucky" Kelly.

I'm exhausted !!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I'll be fine and thank you all for your support !!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-12 20:50:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

Hello family.

Kelly - I'm so sorry you are going through this but I wouldn't contact Ms. Mississippi....your problem should be with Craig not her.

Sorry, I don't agree. She knows he's married and yet she calls him at all hours of the night!! Kick her %#@ Kelly! :bonk: :diablo: :ranting:


:no: Let's not lose our class now Rhonda. It's just not worth it.

What would you do if it was YOUR man? She is half of the problem, like it or not. If these women would quit trying to get involved with MARRIED men, the world would be a much better place <_<


:o No she is not Half the problem. He is all of the problem. If he was any kind of man, He would put her in check and not have her calling Kelly's house in the first damn place. :blink: HE had to give out the number. I know it hurts and I would hate to be in her shoes. But If I were, I wouldn't waste my time calling her. This is a matter of being mature. We are women not little girls. I've been through the little girl S#%#. and at this point in my life, If I were working on my second relationship and seeing how children are envolved. I would toerate no bull#$%. Life is too short ;)


The way I see it, the issue is with Craig. Kelly is married to him and he has an obligation to her as her husband. The outside party (Mississippi) is what her husband needs to deal with because he's the one that brought her in the middle of their relationship in the first place. If Craig wants Mississippi to stop callin he woulda put her in check, got the numbers changed, etc. a long time ago. It's pointless for Kelly to try and talk to her because Mississippi won't even respond to her (as she pointed out with leaving voicemails, etc. in the past asking her to call back) - and obviously Mississippi has no respect for their marriage or else she wouldn't still be around.

If Craig wants to make his marriage work then he needs to cut all ties with this woman and mean it. There is nothing Kelly can do about their relationship, all she can do is decide to stay in her marriage and try to work things out or kick his rass to the curb.

If it were my husband, I wouldn't deal with the other woman because she owes me nothing. He made the mistake by stepping out the marriage to have an affair (be it emotional or sexual) so he has to deal with it. I'd pray and trust that the Lord guide me to make the right decision.

Many people these days don't respect the bond and commitment of a marriage and you can't force them to do so. I agree that many women these days are disrespectful (in regards to being with married men), but again what is the husband doing to keep these women coming around, calling, flirting, etc.? He has to be giving signals.



I had a moment to finally come up for air..........

We were arguing on Fri Dec 8th, so I picked up the phone and called her (I know her number by heart...sad)...and left a message and said....Hi Kris, this is Kelly, Craig's wife......I just wanted to let you know that I'm kicking him out of the house and he needs money, but I don't have the money at this time and he says that YOU have money.......so if you could call him and help him out, that would be great because he said that YOU would help him.

She called his cell phone on Sunday night about 11:15pm (Craig was right there) and I answered it and she asked if Craig was there and she said is this Kelly and I kindof laughed and said, yes.... and she said I'm calling back like you said to....I said, he's no longer at this number like ...uh oh....do you know where he is? and I said, I have no idea and she said, did he go back and I said, yes, I sent him back. Do you know how to reach him and I said, again, I have no idea!!! and hung up.

Now....I think she's now gone....but, doesn't fix that fact about what's been happening for months and how my feelings are now. He "threatened" again this moring that he was leaving and I'm like.....pleeeease just go and then the whole, I don't have any money..... blah blah blah. I said the ONLY money that I'll be giving to you is for a plane ticket !!!!

I truly know that this is NOT going to work, it's just now getting him OUT of the house !!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2006-12-12 17:54:00