biggish data

Do you mind if I ask, why are you allowing HIM to make the decision of whether he stays or goes? It's your life. If you are unhappy and feel that he is not doing what he needs to do in order to stay, why not just change the locks or something?
[/quote]

I'm not "allowing" him to make the decisions.....but if I physically kicked him out, it would get VERY ugly. Yep, it's my life and I do NOT want my neighbors to be up in MY business (I live in an apartment complex that everyone is in everyone elses business). There's also more to it, personally.....that has to do with my apartment complex....one they don't know he's living here and they canNOT know. I can call the police, been there done that already.....they didn't do anything, couldn't cause he wasn't here (because he left when I picked up the phone to call) and when the police stopped him, he lied and said he wasn't who he was.

I don't know, I'm just NOT an ugly person like that..... if I lived in my own house with no neighbors (that could get me in trouble......and trust me, these neighbors would), than yes......I could take matters a different way. I can't afford to live in another place right now and I'm NOT having Craig jeopardize that!!!

My one neighbor has made numerous complaints about my other neighbors dog....the dog has not DONE ANYTHING to the neighbor complaining and the rental place has now given her 30 days to move OR get rid of the dog and she's NOT getting rid of her dog. It's sad.........

I just wish that he would just GO to his family and stay there, but then he says "I can't leave"!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-13 09:27:00

Craig's "deal".........50 % immaturity / 50% cultural !!!!!! He even said to me the other day that he "acted" more mature when he was in Jamaica than here and I was like .........daaaahhhh ya think ???? cause IF you would have "acted" this way, we would have NEVER been in any type of relationship !!!!!!!!!

TGIF !!!!!!!!!!!

Craig's "deal".........50 % immaturity / 50% cultural !!!!!! He even said to me the other day that he "acted" more mature when he was in Jamaica than here and I was like .........daaaahhhh ya think ???? cause IF you would have "acted" this way, we would have NEVER been in any type of relationship !!!!!!!!!

TGIF !!!!!!!!!!!

Dag I wanted to make the TGIF --bigger !!!!???? Whagawaan??

OKAY, I have no clue how to work the system on here !! Sorry 'bout that folks...

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-13 08:49:00

Kelly!

One word of advice from me. DO NOT jepordize your relationship with your son. You have only one son but can have many men in your life. I went through a horrible relationship with my second husband. and it was a great relationship for the first few years. He had a daughter and I had my son. It was a constant battle. His daughter did no wrong, my son did no right. My son bore the brunt of it although he was is still is no angle. (28 years old now) I would NEVER do that again. My son still bears the scars of our constant bickering.... Think about it. If the tables were turned would you want to be in you son's position?

Thanks Darlene,

Oh but trust me.....Craig would be WAY gone if this really and truly affected my relationship with my son. I do make a point to spend quality time with my son. We have really good talks in the car to and from soccer practice/games/tournaments. My son tells me more stuff than "I" need to know (which is a good thing he does, cause to this day, I still can't tell my parents stuff). I apologized to my son for taking out my frustrations on him last night and assured him that it was NOT him and that "I" promise to do better. My son acts WAY more mature than Craig...most times. Craig and Austin get along GREAT. They sat and played a baseball video game last night and were laaaaaughin and having such a great time....then I got a call from a friend (female) and the switch went on and Craig stopped playing and said that "he" needed to make a call and then the battle was on. No yelling and screaming, I am mostly calm -which makes Craig even more upset ....and then he left. My son also *tries* to do the things that Craig does.....learned behavior....slurp his food, not put the laundry in the basket, not put dishes away, clean up after himself etc etc...."I" can tell my son to do this n that, but I'm not going to tell Craig that and I CONSTANTLY hear ....well, Craig doesn't have to do that. I say, well I'm NOT Craig's mom and I'm yours so YOU will do what I ask you to do. Then Craig will say, well you pick up your sons stuff......and then I'm like, here we go again !!!

"I" NEEEEED a vacation !!!!!!!!!!!! I neeeed to send ME away !!! We women should get together and go to a spa somewhere !!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-13 08:44:00

You would ***think*** that if he WANTED to be here in the good ole opportunity USofA he'd be a complete a** kisser !!!!

He knows that he could be sent back at ANY time
I really don't think him kissing your butt is the solution to your problems!!! Is he supposed to be eternally grateful to you for bringing him here? You guys were/are supposed to be in LOVE. Isn't the whole reason he's here is so you two can be together? If you expect him to feel "indebted" to you for giving him this "wonderful opportunity" that could explain why your relationship isn't working. Also, constantly holding it over his head that he he can be deported at any time that you get the notion to do so.

I'm not saying any of this to be mean. I went through some of the same things with Tony when he first came here. Many, many times I felt he should feel grateful to me for everything I've done for him, but it doesn't work that way It has to be a 2 way street. He has to feel needed and appreciated too or it won't work. Not like you did him some giant favor by bringing him here. He had to leave his family, friends, home, job - everything he knew and loved - to come here. He made a big sacrifice too. I remind myself of this often

Well, if you ONLY knew half of our story!!! I NEVER EVER throw in his face or hold it over his head that he can be deported EVER!!! Yes, he DOES need to kiss MY a** and I think you know what I mean!!! I bend over backwards, work 2 full-time jobs, transporting everyone everywhere, doing laundry, making all the meals, cleaning, constantly making HIM feel comfortable, constantly making HIM feel needed AND appreciated ALL OF THE TIME, making sure that HE is "taken care of", making sure that "HE" is happy.....etc etc......okay, so where is MY appreciation?, making ME feel comfortable?, etc etc etc ............the CONSTANT "promises" I had waaaaay before he got here and the way things are here and the CONSTANT battle between my love (and attention) for my son and then the love for Craig......ONLY those that have children (not by our husband) truly KNOW what I'm talking about!!! You're constantly being pulled in EVERY direction and where is "my" time?????

Craig wasn't working when he came here, his closest friends and cousins are here in the states (New York and Philly), his family was ONLY his mother and she ONLY calls when she needs money. I KNOW that he made a sacrifice, but "I" have sacrificed ALOT !!!!

Trust me, those that know my very very well ...and the great friends that I've made on this site just know, that "I" have put up ALOT of #######. Yes, I would absoLUTELY LOVE for this relationship to work out. I do love Craig, but not like it was since the 1st month of him being here. "I" do NOT deserve to be treated the way I am. I do have thick skin and do not let most of his BS get to me. Sometimes I take out the frustration on my son, which is NOT good. I'm ONLY HUMAN !!! Craig's bags have been packed for over a month, he says ALLLLLL of the time he's leaving. He wants ME to pay for him to leave and at one point I was going to. He will NOT go and stay with his family and friends................NO CLUE WHY??? He's EXTREEEMELY jealous of my friendships (mostly because they are men), he's EXTREEEMELY insecure with my relationship with my son !!

When my son wasn't here over spring break, we had a WONDERFUL time together, getting back to the way it was the 1st month that he got here.....an hour before my son came home he TOTALLY TOTALLY CHANGED **BACK** to jerk-off Craig !!!!

At this point, if he leaves.....say-la-ve.....if he stays he KNOWS he has to change alot of the ways he "acts" (which he NEVER EVER acted that way for the yr 1/2 that I knew him before he came here).

I know that Craig loves me. I'm his 1st **real** relationship and on top of that with a child. He KNEW my son and spent ALOT of time with him before he came here. HE throws in MY face ALLLLL of the time, well, if your son needed shoes you'd go and buy them for him, if your son needed this and that, you would go and buy them for him. He canNOT see that my son is a CHILD (even though he's 13), he's still a child who solely depends on ONLY me. His father is not and has never been in the picture. I really don't **think** that "I" shound need to defend myself EVERYtime in regards to my son??!!!

This flippin relationship is unlike any I've ever been in. I've never had to be torn between 2 people I love the most!!! As Shauna said, it's another day...........but..........getting through each day, touch and it's NOT supposed to be THIS TOUGH !!!

Oh.....and for the person that said "I'm whining"........okay, maybe right now I am.......yes, I did have some red flags. Asked God to show me this and/or that.....and yeah, I DO kick my butt for NOT "listening" to those signs, but things do happen for a reason and we sometimes will never know what exactly those reasons are....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-13 07:41:00

Do you think you will considered filling AOS? or will u wait until the last minute if things get better?
[/quote]

I have no intentions of it as of right now. At this point, I don't think things will get any better....well one minute they're great and the wind blows east and they are back to worse again. You would ***think*** that if he WANTED to be here in the good ole opportunity USofA he'd be a complete a** kisser !!!!

He knows that he could be sent back at ANY time, but I've also done a TON of research and there's really no "deadline" for filing AOS as a K1. He can't legally work, but seems to get work anyway.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 20:39:00

quote]

3 Months???? Just out of curiosity, how was it almost a problem? Was he able to do something to clear it up?

Well, to be honest and only a few knew the real truth about this, but heck....why not tell everyone now....to try to help others....Craig WAS going to denied. I'll really never ever know the *exact* truth because of the many maaaaany lies I've been told by him. When I went down for my interview "I" personally just KNEW that he was going to be denied because I just knew he could never stop. He "stopped" about 2 weeks prior. When we went for the interview his medical wasn't at the Embassy yet.....so before we left Kingston we went over to the medical place to find out what was going on. Craig "said" he spoke to the Lab supervisor...she said his file had already gone to the Embassy....Embassy said they didn't have it....so she asked for his number and said she'll research and call him as soon as possible. We were hanging out at Sandals Whitehouse getting TOTALLY drunk and he received a phone call from her telling her that his test came back positive and for a "price" she could "make it go away"!!!! I was SOOOO PISSED OFF it was not even funny. "I" was NOT going to pay....so Craig had to come up with $330 US dollars. I ended up giving him $100 but after I got back to the states and had to reeeeally think 'bout it. STUPID ME !!!!!!!!!
Oh wow. On one hand, I can understand your anger over it. On the other, I could see how you or me or any one of us would be relieved that he had not been denied.

At times I think it would have been a TOTAL blessing to have him denied to have gone through all that I've gone through ...and still some BS to this date.

We still have NOT filed for our AOS because of **stuff** !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 20:12:00

Disclaimer: Of course by "they" I mean only the men that I know personally and have heard about personally via friends, relatives or media outlets. In no way do I imply ALL men of a certain ethnic origin, religious background or any other "group".

J ---tooooo darn funny !!!

Doesn't surprise me at all either, but ....why us ???? How did they flag HIS medical ??? Meanwhile he "tells" me that his friend knows the chic (the supervisor)..........who knows???

I do know she does not work there any longer !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 19:03:00

I KNOW that I'm starting something again....but ....we BUST our butts to get them here, *THINK* that we (women) are going to be "respected" and treated as they treated us in the 2 yrs or however long that they did while we were "courting" and then WHAM ! step foot into this country and where does the respect go ?
.....they are like "kids in the candy store" and that's the truth.....

So true

Disclaimer: Of course by "they" I mean only the men that I know personally and have heard about personally via friends, relatives or media outlets. In no way do I imply ALL men of a certain ethnic origin, religious background or any other "group".

Couldn't resist

S00000000000000000000000 S0000000000000000 TRUE...... BUT...... the women that they come in contact with?????
S-T-U-P-I-D and to think that a Jamaican man (sorry to throw the "jamaican part out there, but whilst this is a jamaican thread) over here, no job....riding the bus or at the mall in the middle of the day is NOT "taken"!!!! Kids in the candy store shoot Mindy...TOTAL understatement !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These women just do NOT care if "I" am with my man, holding hands...Craigs eyes get him into ALOT of trouble !!! I'm like you just say thank you and move on.......no "chit chatting" after that !!!! I've been TOTALLY disrespected by women that act like I'm NOT even standing there and I'm NOT one to be jealous but dag......they could CARE LESS that you're WITH your man !!!!!! Imagine what they do when you're NOT with them !!!!!

My man is NOT the only one with a "wondering Jamaican eye" !!!!!!!!!!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 18:59:00

quote]

3 Months???? Just out of curiosity, how was it almost a problem? Was he able to do something to clear it up?

Well, to be honest and only a few knew the real truth about this, but heck....why not tell everyone now....to try to help others....Craig WAS going to denied. I'll really never ever know the *exact* truth because of the many maaaaany lies I've been told by him. When I went down for my interview "I" personally just KNEW that he was going to be denied because I just knew he could never stop. He "stopped" about 2 weeks prior. When we went for the interview his medical wasn't at the Embassy yet.....so before we left Kingston we went over to the medical place to find out what was going on. Craig "said" he spoke to the Lab supervisor...she said his file had already gone to the Embassy....Embassy said they didn't have it....so she asked for his number and said she'll research and call him as soon as possible. We were hanging out at Sandals Whitehouse getting TOTALLY drunk and he received a phone call from her telling her that his test came back positive and for a "price" she could "make it go away"!!!! I was SOOOO PISSED OFF it was not even funny. "I" was NOT going to pay....so Craig had to come up with $330 US dollars. I ended up giving him $100 but after I got back to the states and had to reeeeally think 'bout it. STUPID ME !!!!!!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 18:47:00

good morning ladies....i haven't posted in a couple days dealing with some personal issues w/ mike...i feel i have been pretty honest about our issues...i am going to lay it all out there...
i recieved an online alert that our cell phone bill was ready...when i looked at how much more it was i decided i better look to make sure hey didn't charge us wrong again like they did a couple months ago....when i got to mike's number i came across 3 local wilmington numbers...that were called every day for the past month...i asked him about it and he said they were friends....when i said ok lets call...he admitted they were girls he met..after toying with the idea of calling them...mt friend said i'll calll and get the scoop....i knew what the girl was going to say but just needed to hear it i guess..
she said he approched her...w/out his ring...told her he was living her w/ his aunt...and he needed a "friend"...when she asked him if he was involved he said no....so he asked he for her number and called her the next day....then after that she never heard from him...she said she got the feeling he was trying to hook up....the other 2...one was at a JA resturant the other on the bus....he said they were just someone to talk to....but the other girl....he admitted could have been something more...
i am devistated....very confused....and feel very betryed...my worst fear....came to life....
i don't want you all to feel sorry for me....today is a new day....if anything...maybe this experince will open up some of your eyes...and let you know it can happen....just be prepared...

BEEN THERE DONE THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just AMAZES me that there are sooooooooooooooooo many men (doesn't matter what race, nationality, old, young, etc etc)....that do this !!! For example, I just found that one of my GOOD clients (that I've known for 10 yrs) and that was married for 30 yrs and he's 52 and cheated on his wife with a chic that's 28 and was not even married to HER husband for a year !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW that I'm starting something again....but ....we BUST our butts to get them here, *THINK* that we (women) are going to be "respected" and treated as they treated us in the 2 yrs or however long that they did while we were "courting" and then WHAM !!!!!!!!!! step foot into this country and where does the respect go ????????????

Girl you know my heart goes out to you!!! You KNOW that I'm here for you, always !!!

(L)

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 14:41:00

[quote name='MyDestinyAwaits' date='Apr 11 2007, 11:52 PM' post='832951']
Never 1
Sometimes 1
Yes Indeed 1

I've added Craig to the list. He was an everyday smoker, several times a day. Since he's been here, he's only done it 3x that "I" know of. Because of work....can't. Being a "responsible" step-parent...can't. Also....almost a problem when it came to the medical !! Keep in mind ladies that it can remain in your system (blood tests are done) for UP TO 3 MONTHS!!!

I've been to Jamaica 26x ....never touched the stuff. I've never gotten high on any drug....well, except drink --socially. People NEVER believe me when I tell them I don't smoke!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-12 14:35:00

HAPPY EASTER !!!

We went out to Giant (a grocery store) yesterday and they have a great bakery section. We bought some Rum Bun and a block of Colby cheese. Craig was WAAAAAY excited !!!! He said the only thing different on the bun is that it had white frosting on it, but he liked the frosting on it better.

It's crazy in the past 7 yrs that I have been going to Jamaica for Easter, I've never had bun and cheese.

Hope everyone is having a great day !!!

Kelly (F)

Wow so the weather is more like Christmas than Easter it is going to be cold hunting for eggs with my cousin :wacko:

[/quote]

I could not believe that when we woke up yesterday, the cars were covered with snow !!! This weather is just NUTS!!! I can't WAIT for warm weather now.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-08 12:44:00

BUNS and CHEESE ---

Yum, let’s all have a hot cross bun. Jamaicans probably remember the universal ditty associated with the delicious treats—
Hot cross buns, hot cross buns
One a penny, two a penny
Hot cross buns;
If you have no daughters, give them to your sons.
One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns.

Sung quite a bit at Easter time, the song reminds many of childhood delights, but most people probably don’t realize that hot cross buns pre-date the Jamaican bun and cheese and led to their popularity. Sometimes called Easter buns, they are a big part of Jamaican culture, just like several other representative foods such as saltfish or ackee. The concept dates back to ancient Babylon, when cross buns were offered to Ishtar, the pagan queen of heaven. Ancient Greeks made similar cakes to honor the moon.

The tradition found its way to England, where cross buns were eaten on Good Friday, with the cross symbolizing the crucifixion of Jesus. When the British captured Jamaica, of course they brought the custom to the island. Over time though the English version of the cross bun transitioned to the Jamaican version, with some key differences.

Jamaica’s version is made with molasses, while the buns from England were made with honey. In Jamaica, you eat the bun with cheese, a combination that has become ingrained in island culture. British custom has waned when it comes to eating hot cross buns as fasting food on Good Friday, but in Jamaica the practice is as prevalent as ever. Today the custom is seen as more Jamaican than British. And eating cheese is now a year-round practice, while the bun and cheese dish is prevalent primarily during the Easter holiday.

The country has a history of adapting foods from other cultures to please Jamaican palates. Rice, originally from China and India, has been mixed with red peas to make a unique Jamaican dish. While a similar dish is prepared in Trinidad, the two are different, and while Jamaicans call it rice and peas, Trinidadians name it peas and rice. You say tomato, I say tomahto. Either way, make sure to sample a hot cross bun at Easter time to see why they are so very popular.

Happy Holiday to all (L)

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-07 13:10:00

Thank GOD that Craig loves ALL the food here. He's NOT picky....if he was, cheeeez to add onto all of the other stuff we've been through !!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-06 11:11:00

For cooked Carribean food , we go to a Restaurant downtown Baltimore at the corner of Saratoga and Light street. Best ox tails and they have patties to die for. The fresh food market in Silver Spring is off New Hampshire right after University Blvd. Head south on New Hampshire from 495 , go past University Blvd and look for the sign after the first light. Baltimore may be easier. take 695West to exit 18, Randallstown exit, get onto Liberty Road. Go through two lights. Look for the Burger King restaurant on your right. Right after Burger King there is a Carribean market that has been opened for about 3 months now. If you get to the Walgreens you've gone too far. No cooked food, but the best selecton of fresh Caribbean foods in Baltimore. If your hubby likes fish, they have everything he could want. we brought some kingfish head the other day and made some fish tea/ soup. Oh my God! The fish was so fresh and tasty. As for the snapper, to die for. My mother tells me look at the fish eyes and if they have not yet changed white then they are pretty fresh. Something to remember.
[/quote]

Thanks Stephen, 'preciate the info....I grew up in Randallstown, it's not to to far from me.

Craig eats EVERYTHING, well except for broccoli. That's the only food that I've found he just does not like. I mix and throw together allllll kinds of food. He loves ALL meat.

He said to me today he sometimes misses Jamaican food....like Ackee, Saltfish and dumplins righta now......but he really LOVES American food !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-06 10:54:00

How are your Jamaican hubbies coping with being away from home for Easter?

For the past 7 yrs, we (me and my son) have been in Jamaica for Easter/Spring Break. This is our (just me and Craig--my son is in Ohio with my parents visiting my brother etc)..... our First Easter together. We're just chilling out by ourselves, since we never get much quality time together, just the 2 of us.

Living here in our area --Ellicott City, Maryland....there's nothing but a few very small South African stores, but no Jamaican food, that I have found. I'm really going to have to check out that place on-line, Sams Market ? If someone has the website address again and post it, I would appreciate it. To drive into Baltimore or out to Silver Spring....???

Have a wonderful Easter holiday everyone!!

Kelly

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-06 10:18:00

you are funny. I love Damian Marley too. He's coming to town with Stephen sometime in May.
[/quote]

Hey Shemanya,

He's coming to Rams Head Live down in Baltimore on May 13th. We'd LOVE to check out the show....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-05 18:06:00

My husband's cousin is Jah Cure. I can't wait to get all up close and personal with him one day, probably this summer. No kissing involved though.
[/quote]

I LOVE Jah Cure. I have all of his CDs!!! and meeting him would be so interesting!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-05 12:40:00

Hello Everyone,

Of course I cannot sit and read this thread (and part 3) and be quiet. As you all know I am new here, and I must stress that you all have been very helpful regarding the immigration process for my husband. This whole thing about generalizations and tearing down our Jamaican men- I must say that everyone's experiences is there own experiences. (I am sure someone said this already, however it must be emphasized.) And whoever discuss their experiences about a JA should state the fact that they are talking about their JA, not everyone's JA. Everyone is different; no two people are the same, regardless of where they come from. And I am sure a lot of us were aware of the sterotypes about our men before we met them.

Also, everyone has the right to take someone's opinon and apply it to their situation. People try to tell me about their bad experience's with a JA all the time. I stop them mid-sentence , and I just get real "hood" with them and be like " nope, naw girl, you aint tellin me bout my man. i know my husband, and if you think i made a bad decision, then good for you. IF (and i must stress the I-F) things don't work out wit me and him, then at least i experienced it myself. let me deal with the heartbreak or whateva. i don't need no warning signs, no watch out signals, or whateva you talkin. i appreciate yo comments and concerns, but i am a grown a** woman, and i don't wanna hear yo negativity about yo JA man, becauze i know what im dealin with." And then I just keep on pushing.

I know there are majority women on this thread, but if there are some men on here, please speak up, we need you. So I hope everyone can try to keep the peace, because you all have been helpful. Even if I don't reply to specific comments, I do read them all and prepare myself. I am very thankful for all of you, because me and my hubby would be lost...literally. We would be so frustrated right now, we probably wouldn't think about bringing him here. But reading everyone's timelines/experiences has helped me realize that me and my husband can do this... we will survive this excruciating process.

(reading this thread + early pregnancy emotions = (excuse me, i must get some tissue now).

EXCELLENT post!!!!

Girl I feel you about the emotions, I've just changed BACK from the B****H from helll lol!
Been sick from maybe 3 weeks pregnant though and STILL throwing up

Daaaag WHERE are you women finding this information about US tearing down our Jamaican men ???????????? I just do NOT GET IT.....it MUST be the hormones !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, yeah....been there/done that !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-05 12:39:00

Hello Everyone,

Of course I cannot sit and read this thread (and part 3) and be quiet. As you all know I am new here, and I must stress that you all have been very helpful regarding the immigration process for my husband. This whole thing about generalizations and tearing down our Jamaican men- I must say that everyone's experiences is there own experiences. (I am sure someone said this already, however it must be emphasized.) And whoever discuss their experiences about a JA should state the fact that they are talking about their JA, not everyone's JA. Everyone is different; no two people are the same, regardless of where they come from. And I am sure a lot of us were aware of the sterotypes about our men before we met them.

Also, everyone has the right to take someone's opinon and apply it to their situation. People try to tell me about their bad experience's with a JA all the time. I stop them mid-sentence , and I just get real "hood" with them and be like " nope, naw girl, you aint tellin me bout my man. i know my husband, and if you think i made a bad decision, then good for you. IF (and i must stress the I-F) things don't work out wit me and him, then at least i experienced it myself. let me deal with the heartbreak or whateva. i don't need no warning signs, no watch out signals, or whateva you talkin. i appreciate yo comments and concerns, but i am a grown a** woman, and i don't wanna hear yo negativity about yo JA man, becauze i know what im dealin with." And then I just keep on pushing.

I know there are majority women on this thread, but if there are some men on here, please speak up, we need you. So I hope everyone can try to keep the peace, because you all have been helpful. Even if I don't reply to specific comments, I do read them all and prepare myself. I am very thankful for all of you, because me and my hubby would be lost...literally. We would be so frustrated right now, we probably wouldn't think about bringing him here. But reading everyone's timelines/experiences has helped me realize that me and my husband can do this... we will survive this excruciating process.

(reading this thread + early pregnancy emotions = (excuse me, i must get some tissue now).

Being in the travel industry for the past 16 1/2 yrs...when a client wants to go to a "warm/caribbean" destination, my very FIRST suggestion is ....how about Jamaica? If I had a penny for EVERYone that has said to me....Oh no, not Jamaica, it's dangerous, dirty, the men rob you like crazy, etc etc etc ........"I" would be RICH !!!!! Since I have soooooooooooooooo much personal experience and I am also a "Jamaican specialist" (in my industry), I educate them as much as possible and to this day, I've never had ANYone of my clients come back to me with a bad experience. We AMERICANS do that to Jamaica in GENERAL and it's VERY unfortunate !!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-05 11:33:00

Now to the topic at hand.

I for one don't care if a woman says 'My Jamaican husband is a dog'.
However, I take EXTREME issue with her saying 'Any Jamaican man you bring up is going to be a dog'
Because that is no longer PERSONAL experience, but a BLANKET statement!!
So while I will bite my lip when I hear some generalizations being made in what I believe is ignorance, I will not sit idly by and watch my Jamaican kings being lumped together because of someone's bad experiences.....
Of course I expect women to tell both the good and the bad, hopefully sharing will help someone else in a similar situation. I think it is of paramount importance that the 'seedy' side is shown, the horror stories.
But what needs to be remembered is that the bad in your relationship is not a trend, not a given, but a PERSONAL experience.
I derieve no pleasure from 'jumping' on people or proving they are stereotypical. All I demand is that you treat every situation as a personal experience, not a blueprint on 'What Happens When You Marry A Jamaican'....
Many of the women here are living with their families buying into the stereotype of a 'black Jamaican man' and are vocal in their outrage. Yet many here are creating their very own pet stereotype while critizing the actions of others....

I will always try to support, to educate, to help, to provide any insight I can to help people here.
But I will not sit and watch ANYONE tear Jamaicans to shreds.

Did "I" miss something that someone said???? I went back and looked and looked, but I didn't see ANYONE say that their Jamaican husband is a dog ??!!!!! If you're referring to what "I" have said in recent posts, I have never said that MY husband is a dog.....stupid sometimes (what man isn't......sorry for any of the men reading).....but I absolutely LOVE Jamaica (that's why I continue to go back, it's my home away from home), the people, ALLLLLL of my friends (male and female) and that includes my husband. Yes I have NO IDEA why he choses to do STUPID stuff withOUT thinking about the consequences....as you will SOON find out when you have a child and raise that child to be the BEST they will be and he or she turns around and makes BAD CHOICES!!!!

ALOT of the things that Craig does IS because of the way he was brought up and witnessed and lived with the situations and experiences "around" him....with the way to treat women, act a certain way etc etc. I have never ONCE said that ALL Jamaican men (or women) are like this and it's been stated over and over and over again (we can't say it enough) that what I've posted has been MY personal EXPERIENCES !!!!!! You do NOT truuuuuuly know someone until you have lived under the same roof......fact!!!

Question for you......Are you marrying an American man???? If so, dag I'm QUITE SURE we could bash the h*** out of OUR american men and NOT ONE AMERICAN WOMAN ON HERE WILL FEEL OFFENDED IN ANY WAY !!!!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-04-05 11:19:00

Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 5)

Hey there everyone,

I know it's been quite awhile....and thank you to those that have PM'd me to touch base, I truly apologize that I haven't responded.

Life, just has been ....crazy....as always. Five months of the thread was just way to much catching up on .. I'm sure there are loads of congratulations, sorrows and challenges.....never ever ever know which way our lives are going to go, especially in this craziness of the VISA journey.

First and foremost....Craig FINALLY moved out !!! It is a TOTAL blessing and was LONG overdue, but he HAS to stand on his own 2 feet "as a man" and be responsible, learn how to pay bills, work hard, etc etc etc. He has changed so incredibly much, I just can't deal anymore!!! TRUST ME I've compromised and those that know me, I have been VERY veeeeeery patient, but.............just could not live with him for one more day. We had a major issue come up in the beginning of Feb and I gave him an ultimatum ....get out or I will be nasty about getting you out !!!! I still think when he moved that "I" was going to give in, yeah right ....like that was ever going to happen !!!

So don't know where we are going to go from here......if anywhere. "I" am TOTALLY fine and so is my son!! better than ever. My son has made honor roll 2 quarters in a row and was "student of the month" last month. The weight of Craig's BS ####### has been lifted off of my (well, both of our) shoulders. No more bickering and fighting....is such a relief !!!

Well, it took forever...since last summer when we filed for AOS and after just sitting there in California since Nov with no touches or anything, I contacted the Senators office and then got an email this past Friday that his GC is on its way. He doesn't know and I'm not going to share that with him...yet.

My business has been extremely busy, which is a blessing as well.

We're in full swing with soccer and the start of this years season is just around the corner. Our coach likes to have 3 tournaments before the start of the season and they just had their 1st tournament in Virginia over the weekend.

Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone. If anyone needs to reach me, please email me instead of PMing..... because I don't get to come on here ... my email is up and running all of the time.
a-and-k-travel@verizon.net

OH and I finally (I know a travel agent and being in the travel industry for the past 17 1/2 yrs... I should have had one, but I never really needed to) but ....I got our (me and my sons) passports (in 8 days) and those arrived last week. I would really like to go to Jamaica for my birthday weekend....May 18th.... but we'll see.... I haven't been anywhere fun and exciting for almost 2 flippin years !!!

Take care everyone !

Love,

Kelly

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-03-03 00:45:00

Alhambra Inn

QUOTE (Forbes2006 @ Mar 24 2008, 01:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well Hello,

We decided not to stay in Portmore anymore due to him going there last weekend and seeing the mosquito problem. Whenever I go to Jamaica they seem to love my blood...lol
So now we are trying to book a reservation at Alhambra Inn.
Does anyone know how this place look? I have seem pics of the outside but how about the rooms?

You all have not failed me yet.

Thanks

alhambrainn@cwjamaica.com
1 Tucker Avenue
Kingston, JM
876-978-9072

Hope this helps..

kelly

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-03-30 16:28:00

QUOTE (shrewdgal @ May 12 2008, 07:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 12 2008, 06:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ May 12 2008, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ May 12 2008, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ May 12 2008, 12:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ May 12 2008, 12:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think so too, Jengs. Next it will be, you have to pay to check in, pay for security to bug the ####### out of you, tip the person who scans your ticket...............

I'm cringing of how much my sister's wedding might cost if we have to pay to check all our bags. I'm trying to get her to utilize "barrells"

If you book your ticket now, they CAN'T charge you in Dec....Then can only implement new rules to affect people buying tickets AFTER the announcement...

Oh ok, I have my tickets and we are going in Aug. I'm going to have to check the websites and print of the policy cause i'm sure someone will be trying to charge me and I'll be vex.

Rules apply to the baggage, doesn't matter when you booked. That's a rule across the board.

Please mention to your sister, if they are bringing wedding favors down or shipping early....do NOT MENTION that she's bringing wedding/party favors to anyone checking luggage or customs as they be asked to pay import and export taxes and they can get reeeeal shi&&y!!

I highly recommended to a client to specifically NOT to ship her favors for her wedding prior to her arrival and to bring them in some that were traveling -- I was also invited and I said I'd even take some in my luggage. They wanted to charge her $200 - 300 ?? She didn't listen to alot of advice that I had given to her. They had never traveled to Jamaica and I went *with* them to basically "babysit".....when I found out that she was getting charged for all of that...I went and had myself a beer in the lounge !!!

really? when US air changed their baggage policy recently I had already booked a ticket and the change didnt go into effect until May...so I guess once they set a date it doesnt matter when you booked if you are TRAVELING past that date...but if you are traveling before the changes are implemented then you should be okay

Every airline is different, here are just a few that have put in the new baggage requirement...
USA 3000: Effective 5/1/08 the baggage allowance aboard all USA3000 flights will be 1 checked bag weighing no more than 50lbs and measuring no more than 62 linear inches. Additional bags will be accepted at a charge of $25 per bag each way. Bags over 50lbs

3/25 /08 --Delta Air Lines will now charge $25 for passengers wishing to check a second piece of luggage. Elite frequent flyers and high-fare-paying customers may be exempted from this new rule.

SOUTHWEST -
Baggage Allowance: Beginning January 29, 2008, Southwest will allow two (2) checked pieces of baggage per ticketed Customer. Size and weight limitations apply.

Excess Baggage: Effective January 29, 2008, you may check a third bag for a charge of $25. Your 4th through 9th bag or item will incur a charge of $50 per piece, and any bag or item thereafter will be $110 per piece.

03/31/08 --Northwest Airlines will match Delta, United, and US Airways in charging coach-class passengers within North America $25 for a second checked bag. The new rule goes into effect May 5.

AirTran will now charge passengers $10 each way for checking a second bag, effective on bookings immediately for flights ticketed to travel starting May 15. Additional checked bags will incur $50 charges each. (Elite frequent flyers and business-class travelers will not pay the fees.)

US Airways - second checked bag will be assessed a $25* fee. The new fee applies to travel on or after May 5 for tickets purchased on or after February 26, 2008.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-12 20:20:00

QUOTE (Jengles @ May 12 2008, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ May 12 2008, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ May 12 2008, 12:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ May 12 2008, 12:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think so too, Jengs. Next it will be, you have to pay to check in, pay for security to bug the ####### out of you, tip the person who scans your ticket...............

I'm cringing of how much my sister's wedding might cost if we have to pay to check all our bags. I'm trying to get her to utilize "barrells"

If you book your ticket now, they CAN'T charge you in Dec....Then can only implement new rules to affect people buying tickets AFTER the announcement...

Oh ok, I have my tickets and we are going in Aug. I'm going to have to check the websites and print of the policy cause i'm sure someone will be trying to charge me and I'll be vex.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-12 17:04:00

QUOTE (Ms. Hellwig @ May 12 2008, 11:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ May 12 2008, 10:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was wondering where everyone is too. Is this a holiday I didn't know about?

Good Morning! Perhaps it is just a slow start on a Monday.

Or are all the mothers hung over from the holiday weekend?

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mommy's day. Mine was really nice until I had to go and watch my son play in the poooouring down rain, again !!!!! It's getting old, real quick ! He came home Friday with a fever and was sick all weekend and then felt "okay" to play yesterday, but has a nasty cold today.

5/12/2008 -
Royal Caribbean -changed its policy on accommodating infants on cruises. Now, babies must be at least six months old to travel on any RCI ship (or 12 months minimum on trans-Atlantic, Hawaii, trans-Pacific, or selected South American voyages, as well as cruisetours). This is posted on RCI now but won’t be widely enforced until October.

I'm sure other cruise lines will follow suit ...

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-12 10:47:00

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 9 2008, 01:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ May 9 2008, 01:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 9 2008, 10:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sunnyja21 @ May 9 2008, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mawnin Yardies!

It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy

HEAR HEAR !!!

I just looked at my bank account and woo-hoo....a likkle surprise....my stimulus payment, but....it was only for $900.00 ?? I thought it was $900 for a couple and $300 for the child? I'm just a little confused about this ???

I'm now in the process of booking a trip for me and my son to go to Punta Cana next weekend

Bizarre, according to our paperwork, etc.... we should have received the $1200 (couple) and $300 for my son. I guess I'll call and see what's up ?!

It is supposed to be $1200 a couple and $300 per child. However, there are all kinds of rules as to why you get the amount you get.

I did just read this morning that we will have to say on our 2008 tax returns how much we got. If it wasn't the maximum amount allowed, they will adjust it and give us that in the form of a refund after filing that 2008 return.

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ May 9 2008, 12:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Looking at the amount, it seems like Craig's wasn't included in yours....

That is what I was thinking.

Well, I went onto the Stimulus calculator ....while I was on hold with the IRS (25 min) ...and went through and it calculated to $900. I'm a little bummed because I thought it was going to be more, but then again.... being self employed and the tax part about being employed brought my calculations down. Oh well.

The IRS guy said that 99% of his calls are people complaining about the "free" money they've received.

Oh well, just hoping I get approved for the Punta Cana trip (free points I'm trying to use through one of my suppliers)....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-09 13:54:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ May 9 2008, 01:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 9 2008, 10:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sunnyja21 @ May 9 2008, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mawnin Yardies!

It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ May 9 2008, 12:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Looking at the amount, it seems like Craig's wasn't included in yours....

That is what I was thinking.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-09 12:40:00

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 9 2008, 11:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sunnyja21 @ May 9 2008, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mawnin Yardies!

It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy

See, I'm soooo darn excited right now, I can't even type............daaaah, supposed to be HERE HERE !!!! Now just to find someone *reliable* and caring to watch over my kitties !

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-09 10:38:00

QUOTE (sunnyja21 @ May 9 2008, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mawnin Yardies!

It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-09 10:32:00

QUOTE (dancehallquana @ May 7 2008, 03:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Deyoungting @ May 7 2008, 01:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (shrewdgal @ May 7 2008, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..
I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"
My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"
I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! "

You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me

) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get

...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

For me, LOVE is much more important than money. I spend my money on things like trips or special outings or something that makes the person feel special or happy. Craig and I would talk about the money thing constantly....and I ask him ALLLL of the time, so if you had LOADS of money and never found the love that we have........would you truly be happy? He always always answer NO!!

Craig has had more jobs in the past 2 yrs than anyone that I've known and he's still not settled into a permanent one. He's had the opportunity to experience all types of trades. His favorite one to date, was building chalk boards for schools. He loved that job.... he really wants to get into A/C work and he wants to go to school and I said that will soon come. Right now....just test the waters out, find what you truly like or want to get into....and take it from there.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 15:37:00

QUOTE (Trelawny20853 @ May 7 2008, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ May 7 2008, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 7 2008, 02:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Deyoungting @ May 7 2008, 02:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sus @ May 7 2008, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 7 2008, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Shoot...soccer canceled, the only way it will be canceled would be if lightening strikes, for real !! I've watched my son play soccer for the past TEN (10 yrs) Mother's Days and for the 1st 6 yrs, I was coaching the boys.

Now for MY mother, a person that doesn't "need" anything and isn't happy with anything you get her..... any thoughts? I was thinking of maybe just taking her out for dinner ....but then fighting the lines and waits, ugh... and my father MR. IMPATIENT..... my mothers birthday is next Sat (min Sun)...and I know she's going to Atlantic City, maybe I'll send her something up to her room ???

****Tre, I really need you to send a prayer out .......to the AIRLINE GODS..... that prices to Jamaica will come down to a "reasonable" price so that I can get my butt there SOON (well July and I just can't bring myself to spend more than $300 per person!!). I'm in desperate need of a vacation !!! I can go to Punta Cana next weekend, but.... I just my home away from home .....

If she's going to AC, she obviously likes to gamble - what about scratch off tickets?

Ohhhhhh...that's a good one Sus-ie!

Whoooaaa !!! That's a great idea !! and ya know what sucks, the next words out of her mouth are going to be....what did you waste your money on these for !!!??? I'm gonna do that .....Thanks for the great tip !

Roxcie, me and my mother aren't close, never have been........sucks, but that's how it goes in our family. She's VEEEEERY close with my sister and sister-in-law, but never ever me. I took my mother on a cruise back in 2005 (1st and last time we'll ever go anywhere by ourselves together), *thinking* we could "get to know" each other better and that's when I was going to tell her about Craig....ya know, when she asked. NOTHING, NADA ever came up. Never once did (or does) she ask me about me, my life, whose in my life, what's going on in my life, howze business, how are any of my friends, nothing.... but then when she's having a conversation with like a parent on my sons soccer team, she ACTS like she truly knows me and when I say.............um, I don't do that, or act like that, etc etc..... shuts her up...ridiculous!

Hence, why my folks do not know anythinga about Craig..............still to this day and it's been 3 1/2 yrs! Maybe I should send them (both my parents) the email about Mrs. Loving

Hi lutravlin,

I am the middle child, so my relationship with my mother wasn't the special one, but neither the less, I treated my mother the same way I wanted to be treated as a mother. So it didn't matter how she acted, I knew I had to answer to my God, the ten commandments say honor thy mother and father.

But my family is small and close anyway, so I didn't have a lot of drama. My mother was a very good mother. She provided and sent all 4 kids thru college. So I could only love her as a parent.

Be Bless

Love the honesty. My relationship with my mom is rocky, but I love her the same. She didn't get along with her mom, so I made sure I did my best to make it work with mine. My mom is set in her way and she doesn't not want anyone to tell her anything.

I totally envy those that have special and close relationships with their parents, especially their moms. I can't even tell you the last time (or ever) my parents even told me they loved me and to be honest, I don't feel that love towards them, so I can't say it back!! They say it to my son everytime they talk and see each other...because I told them waaaaay back when, do NOT treat him the way you treated me!! I want him to feel loved by those around him. They tell my brother and sister everytime they speak and see each other. I live 6-7 miles from my parents and only see them on the weekend if they go to my sons soccer game(s). It's truly unfortunate that I don't and can't feel that way towards my mother.

My son and I have a GREAT relationship, but I treat him completely and totally differently than my parents have treated me all of my life. I grew up in a home where they called me FAT, ugly and stupid almost every day!!! Never ever and even to this day...do they compliment me!! I think I mentioned this past weekend, my mother said...eh, your hair looks okay. I completely ignored the comment. When I had my son, we hadn't spoken for almost 2 yrs and when my mother found out I named him Austin....OH DEAR, she says she HATED the name and tells everyone and now she'll say, she's grown to like it. Whatever, I didn't name him with YOU in mind !!!

My father was abusive (back then that was considered "abuse"), he used to spank me with a wooden paddle... till I was in the 9th grade. Then when I got into high school, I was ALLLLLLWAYS "punished" and for stupid ####### !!!! I've never done drugs, I've never smoked and I hung out with a very good crowd--all "smart" and didn't get into trouble!! I didn't do great in school, but my parents never pushed me to do better or help me to succeed. When I had the 1st chance to move out, I did at 19 and never looked back.

I have tried over and over and over again to have some type of relationship with them. I've taken my mom out to lunch, asked her to go shopping ---she never goes with me, I surprised her one year with a massage (for mothers day), I used to ask her to go to do things alllllllllllllllllllllllllll of the time, but she never makes time for me. The list goes on and on and on.

As a parent, and a single one at that, I know that I would never ever ever treat my son the way my parents treated me and I think alot of the times, my mom is jealous of how close me and my son are. That I have connections and get to do things with my son, take him on trips, etc etc...that my parents never did with us.

I don't know....it used to bug the living ####### out of me and sometimes certain things do, but ....I do my best to not let it get to me like it used to. I know that I'm a great mom, I own my own business, I have great friends, knock on wood, we're healthy, I'm a strong woman......but....none of that comes from my parents and/or the way I was raised.

"I" was raised to "see" color, but I was the only one to go .........what???? That's absoLUTELY CRAZY !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 14:57:00

Hey Sis --

Before I met my son's father, well, just call me the RAINBOW COALITION. I dated men from just about every race, and culture. Seem that men from many different backgrounds found Jamaican women to be exotic, so I went with it. I was in a relationship with an Italian guy for almost 2 years, but his mother got to him. That was the first time I really came in contact with true racism. This woman knew nothing about me, but was quick to past judgement. We tried to make it work and in all honesty I would have married him. Even though we were from different cultures, he knew more about Jamaica than I did. His father had a vacation home in Negril and one in St. Thomas. Opposite ends of the island. His mother hated when I traveled with them; and I did it to annoy her. We would not stay with his family when I visited Jamaica, we stayed in Trelawny with my people and she hated that. Funny thing is I never had a problem with his dad or his uncles. It was just the older females in his family.

When I met his grandmother she was like, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COLOURED GIRL. I just said thank you. My boyfriend nearly died. She was 96 years old. No point in me correcting her.
[/quote]

This is EXACTLY how my parents are !!! I was the only one in my family ...any in my family to have black, mixed, asian, etc etc friends. Every trip that me and my son went on to Jamaica, my parents NEVER want to see my pictures --because of the friends that I have there. When they met my friend Mophead (who now lives here in Baltimore that I've known from Negril)...my dad wouldn't even shake his hand. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO embarrassing !!!!

I remember one time I had a pool party at my parents house and a friend of mine came in looking for me and my grandmother was sitting at the table reading the paper (I think I was in the bathroom) ....when I saw my grandmother she said........some coloured fellas was looking for you. Now meanwhile, there was only 1 white guy and about 15 black guys there.......I opened the door and said (cause my friends all know my family has *issues* with color) and I said, which colored fella was lookin for me.....my friend came up, and said, I was a misses... my grandmother looked like she was going to pass out with humiliation. OH WELL !!!

It's very unfornate that my parents have said things to my son when he had his black friends over to their house to go swimming (he asked before he went over if he could have friends)....and the next time he asked, my mother said, can you bring a different set of friends next time. Guess what.........haven't been back there to go swimming since and that ws 2 yrs ago !!!!

It sucks, but I don't let it bother me .....I've had to deal with it for almost 43 yrs now !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 14:00:00

QUOTE (Deyoungting @ May 7 2008, 02:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sus @ May 7 2008, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 7 2008, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If she's going to AC, she obviously likes to gamble - what about scratch off tickets?

Ohhhhhh...that's a good one Sus-ie!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 13:51:00

QUOTE (Deyoungting @ May 7 2008, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 7 2008, 11:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Anyone have any *special* plans ---for all the mothers, mothers to be, etc for Mommy's day?

Kel,

That's great!! You go Girl...It's not about how other people feel about you...but how you feel about yourself that counts. Right now I have gained all the weigh that I lost for Rebel Salute...but I am determined to take it off!! Cause it just felt good being active and buying new sizes!

My hats off to you Kel!!

As for Mom's Day...it's a big day for the restaurant so Ken is probably working 5am-midnight...and it's my ONLY day off from both jobs...soccer game is cancelled...so I will probably SLEEP & catch up on some good movies!!!!!

JG

, now I'm starting to sound like you...

Bless,
Gill

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 11:46:00

A friend of mine just sent this...

Mrs. Loving Passes Away at 68

Mrs. Loving and her husband fought against the state of Virginia to legalize interracial marriage many years ago. Read below.

The Loving Day Project is sad to report the death of Mrs. Mildred Loving, a woman whom, with her husband Richard Loving, successfully challenged and overturned the US's anti-miscegenation law on June 12, 1967. Mrs. Loving passed away Friday from an undisclosed cause at the age of 68.

Mildred was an inspiration to many and especially to us at the Loving Day Project. She was a testament to integrity and humility. She was described as a mild-mannered woman, someone who just wanted to be a bride, not a hero. She and Mr. Loving grew up together in rural Virginia, and married in 1958 in Washington, DC where interracial marriages were legal.

The Loving Day Project will continue our work in memory of Mildred and Richard Loving, and see her passing as a celebration of a life that helped change the lives of many others.

We hope you will honor the memory of Mrs. Loving by participating in the Loving Day project. As always, you can:

Host a Loving Day Celebration:
Download the free Celebration Kit at
http://www.lovingday...kit_2007_01.pdf

Make a Donation:
http://www.lovingday.org/donate.htm

Attend a Loving Day Celebration:
http://www.lovingday...elebrations.htm

Volunteer at the Loving Day Celebration in New York City:
Please email info@lovingday.org

Read more:

NPR: All Things Considered - 'Woman in Interracial Marriage Case Dies'
http://www.npr.org/t...toryId=90201523

AP: Mildred Loving, matriarch of interracial marriage, dies (Yahoo! News)
http://news.yahoo.co..._us/obit_loving

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 11:02:00

More travel info...

U.S. Officials Plan Faster Customs Entry Lanes

5/7/2008 -
A new U.S. government program called Global Entry will allow American citizens and permanent residents to avoid long customs lines when they re-enter the country at selected airports. By paying an annual fee of $100 and passing a background check in advance, these travelers can skip the usual customs lines in favor of expedited clearance lanes, where they can swipe their passports and fill out customs declaration forms electronically. The new system launches June 10 at Houston/George Bush Intercontinental, New York/Kennedy, and Washington/Dulles, expanding to 17 more airports at a later date.

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ May 7 2008, 11:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah and where does the $100 go towards ????

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 10:54:00

QUOTE (Deyoungting @ May 7 2008, 09:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Trelawny20853 @ May 7 2008, 09:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wakey -- Tonya, I been hearing lawddddd what a way u nice and FAT! or what a piece a BAXIDE...u ago mad di man dem. I never bothered me. It's the culture. Some of my friends think I'm INSANE, because I'll walk around NAKED at a beach. LOVE HEDONISM.... and there's another all adult resort in Ocho (can't remember the name). All I can say is LORD ave merci! I'll put on my 2 piece and say the hell with everyone else. To me, my body is perfeccccctttt, matter a fact it's the bomb! I want to get back to a size 16 though, because I was comfortable and found clothes that I liked easily. I'm in a 20 now. I want to also get back down to maybe 180. I can't be smaller than that I do't look right. I'm pushing 225lbs now. I was almost 300lbs when my son's father was stressing me. I remember when I was pregnant with my son, the first thing my doctor said was "YOU SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED LOSING WEIGHT BEFORE YOU GOT PREGNANT, NOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS AND END UP WITH GESTATIONAL DIABETIES"...I ran out of his office crying, but not before CUSSING him out.

Gurl,

My OB said the same thing and made me take that sweet wata test EVERY WEEK!!! Cause he could not believe that I didn't have GD!!!

He was like you are the first obese woman I have had that has gained 60 pounds and your sugar remains fine! I don't understand it!

Ken, is the same way. Baby Gurl, you know I love Big Body ooman...suh nuh boddah fi mek dem boddah yuh! When I would meet his family members. They would say...whoa...What a way she nice and fat! Han tell Ken em too mawga! But Ken nuh mawga yuh knoa...it's straight muscle pon dat deh body!

I used to get offended by that...but now I realize it's the culture and Ken laugh it off and say "Yeah Man, like Hamburger han Hot dawg...we just guh together!"

I always said I don't want to be skinny (no offense to slim folks), just healthy...I would be happy as a 14-18 to tell you the truth!

But Lawny, I agree with you and admire you for having such a good body image. Many of us (including myself) walk through life looking for better and not appreciating and flaunting what you've got! YOU GO GURL!!!!!

Bless,
Gill

This is all to darn funny. Craig's mother would say to me (and to Craig) ...how beautiful and FAT I was. I never once took it personally. Although the way it comes across and a woman is not used to that, somewhat harshness, you can definitely take it the wrong way.

When Craig moved out in Feb, I joined my old gym (I try to go at least 4x a week) and when he saw me a couple of weekends ago, he was like...wha??? he does NOT like that I've lost almost 20 lbs (but gained the muscle weight). I feel sooooo much better, my back doesn't hurt like it used to and I have waaaay more energy. Once I hit 40 (almost 3 yrs ago)....my body just changed unbelievably!!! Everything starts to hurt and I just had no *extra* energy. I've always eaten healthy, but now I'm eating even healthier.

It's how you feel inside that matters.

That's the main thing with Craig, he ALWAYS made me feel good physically--didn't matter how I looked, how much I weighed, if there was an extra roll or 2.....he never ever put me down in any way.

Anyone have any *special* plans ---for all the mothers, mothers to be, etc for Mommy's day?

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2008-05-07 10:49:00