biggish data

QUOTE (Marlita @ Oct 15 2007, 02:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Oct 14 2007, 06:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sjb1221 @ Oct 14 2007, 09:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Oct 14 2007, 09:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

Oh trust me Shemanya I'm totally pissed off at Craig although he has absolutely "no idea" as to why!!! When I brought the whole wedding thing up or tried to discuss it, it was truly like talking to a 10 yr old!!! I don't know this and I'm not sure of that.... and I'm like whatever !!!!

Of course "I" look like the bad guy for not being there and not picking him up. "I" could really and truly care less!!

Asking his brother questions, where are you getting married?.....answer: in a church. What area? answer: here, near to our home....where is that ? Ardmore, where is that ? couldn't answer ... (he's been here over a year)...one worded answers. What time is the rehearsal dinner? no answer, Where is the rehearsal dinner? no answer....What time is the wedding? ...answer: in the afternoon ...I asked, exactly what time? didn't answer. I didn't have the extra funds available for a hotel stay and trust me, for the weekend in that area, nothing was less than $150/night!! I asked if there was a hotel that they set up for out of town guests, he's said, I don't know. That's when I said (nicely--cause I like his brother, he was nice to me) .............sorry I won't be able to make it. I could tell that I was not really "wanted" there, which was absolutely fine with me. It was a weekend ALL TO MYSELF (my son was still here) !!!!! Which ....was very very nice !!! and no arguing and bickering about STUPID ####### !!!!!!

I was just gonna say it was obvious that they didnt want you there and for a specific reason but it seems that you finally figured it out. Things are not always so complicated sometimes the answer is right in front of you. This may sound harsh but we gotta keep it real sometimes and quit dancing around a situation in order to conclude it and solve the problem. I think you know what the issue here is, and now its on to solving it.

I guess I should have been a Bee-atch to "auntie" and said, the real reason??? Ask your nephew, it was so obvious that I was not wanted there ...... but seriously, I truly had NO desire in going. YES YES YES, I'm pissed at Craig....but what else is new. Solution to this entire problem........is that "I" have NO IDEA why he even bothered to flippin come back!!!! I told him ...please stay there !!!

From anyone that knows me and my relationship with Craig, it has been downhill since the 3rd week of him getting here. We'll have some good moments, but most of it isn't good. "I" do NOT want to continue with my relationship and I would reeeeeeally like for him to get his you know what together and get out, he knows that and we've talked about it till the cows come home....................but...................he will NOT leave and as said in the past, since we are "married" I canNOT kick him out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I want to proceed with divorce, in Maryland, you have to be "legally" separated for a year.......but.........again, he won't flippin leave, says (and threatens that he will), but never does!!! He says he loves me "to death" and wants to work it out, but he doesn't do SQUAT for me to even go there. For instance, last night in one of our conversations, he asked why I'm so upset with him, I told him (again) --he laughs, thinks it's ridiculous and I said....ya know you just need to kiss my a&& a little when you get home (I was joking, but being for real) and he said, you know THAT will never happen!!!!

Craig has been the type (since he got here), that if we have any argument or disagreement......he will NOT apologize "first" or come to me to TRY to solve the issue. "I" have to be the one to smooth things out, start the conversation first.........and ya know after 15 months of him being here, I'm now exhausted with trying anymore.

He's immature and irresponsible (still doesn't pitch in for bills, food, etc) and LISTENS (still) to others --ie cousin, brother, guy/gal off the street of how his life SHOULD be, etc etc.

I am one of those on here that TELL my story, for real and don't BS the truth as to what happens in these types of relationships. Do NOT jump all over me about this doesn't happen in ALL relationships.......I know that, but ......in most that I have met on the yardie thread, it does. I'm am totally envious of those that are on here that have men that know what their priorities and responsibilities are, unfortunately mine has totally lost sight of that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY MONDAY

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-15 06:50:00

QUOTE (Nicky Salmon @ Oct 14 2007, 09:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry,

I am new to this and seemed to have posted this in the wrong place. It is customary to send invatations 6 weeks prior to the wedding. However from what i have seen time is different for the US and Jamaica. Jamaican time is more lax not definate.

If your husband is anything like Corey arguing is not going to get you anywhere. Men on average hate conflict. I know I am surrounded by them at work on a daily bases.

Yeah, but the bride is an american woman.... born and bred.....so not sure why the "lax" jamaican of a phone call would suffice over an actual wedding invitation? Who knows.... I don't care anymore. Trust me....I know that arguing will get nowhere, but when you have an adult conversation (or at least try to) and one of those "adults" acts like a child, it's truly frustrating!!!

He's now called 3 more times....so are you still not coming to get me? As I'm in my PJ's in bed !!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-14 21:26:00

QUOTE (sjb1221 @ Oct 14 2007, 09:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Oct 14 2007, 09:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-14 20:35:00

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 12:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Nov 8 2007, 11:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 11:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 8 2007, 10:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ Nov 8 2007, 08:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag is allllll I gotta say !!! I haven't been on, haven't had the time, but whew, here we go ONCE AGAIN !!!!

So I'm confused WHERE did JOMO say she didn't LIKE your story ??? I think I missed that somewhere. I love the story so far, patois and everything and I do seem to skim over the patois parts and I think I miss what's truly being said and then I have to go back and re-read....but sitting waiting for soccer practice 3 nights a week, gives me that time. "I" don't personally speak it at all, but fully understand it being around patois for over 10 yrs!

The other comments about JOMO telling her husband this and that ..."runnin" him, ya know.... just ridiculous !!! I too, "run" my husband -if that's what you want to call it !!! He's been here for 17 months now and STILL acts like an immature child!! We've been through ALOT in our relationship and I have given him ALL the help, guidance, support, lessons to learn, tools, etc etc etc. I have been more than patient in this so called marriage. MY HUSBAND CHANGED when he came here. HE has chosen to be "stuck" in his Jamaican past with violence, rudeness, disrespect and HE has NOT once grown from the experience that he has had here.

It has been said, over and over and over again in this yardie thread.....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use. "MY" relationship SUCKS and I DO want out and I DO want him to leave!! He KNOWS that, we've talked about it till the cows come home. He makes alllllllllllll kinds of promises to be a better man, take care of his responsibilities, be a better husband and stepfather, ladidada..... but I NEVER see that, ever !!!! "I" canNOT kick the LOSER out of my house, but he also will NOT leave on his own !!!! He tries his best to make MY life a living he&&, but I will NOT allow him to do that. "I" AM a strong woman!! My son and I are both STRONG individuals that have a very tight relationship. My son and I talk about what's acceptable and not acceptable all the time. My son asked Craig over the weekend -AGAIN- WHY has he changed so much and that he liked the guy that he knew in Jamaica and when he first came here..... Craig's response is, your mother has changed too!!! But Craig does NOT GET the reason that "I" have changed towards him and OUR marriage is that "I" caught him having a relationship with another farrin woman....went on for 9 months that "I" know about. Anyone that has read my posts in previous yardie threads knows this. I told him to GO and be with her if that is who he truly wanted to be with. "I" have caught him numerous times giving women his cell phone number (and vice/versa). He does NOT help with bills and responsibilities around the home. He has NOT once stepped up to be a supportive and positive role model to my child. We have talked and communicated our feelings, emotions, etc etc .... it works for a day and then WHAM back to being an A-hole the next !!!!

I admire ANYones relationship that works....I truly envy those that are in JA/American relationships that work !!! but they are far and few between that "I" know of !!!!

I also know that "I" will (me and my son) be absolutely fine. I do not need a man to make me feel good about myself. Craig is the one with serious and I mean serious -especially- anger issues !!!

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

Wow! I'm sorry you are going through this. I didn't know your history with Craig. IMHO, you are not "running" your husband. You are simply surviving day to day. He is techincally calling the shots because you are miserable with him there and he won't leave. You do have options to get out of the situation. You can request a legal separation, and get a restraining order because you owned your home before he got here. I had a friend that went through this VERY same thing, minus the other woman. He lost his mother, and went insane literally. He had her a prisoner in her own home, telling her that she and Babylon had taken his mother and they were hiding her. You have to file for the legal separation first. Then wait until he leaves the home to have a police serve him with the restraining order when he comes back home. The police will stay and enforce the order, and you can later arrange for him to retrieve his things from the courts or the police station. You cannot let him know any of this is happening though because he may opt to NEVER go out even to the store.

Maybe Craig didn't "change" at all, he just stopped pretending.

Jomo's situation and comments are totally different from yours. Her comments weren't because of her being mistreated, which is why I wondered why she seemed to not care about him. Jomo assured me that that was not the case at all. They are in fact BOTH very much in love.

Your situation is horrible, and I hate that anybody has to ever go through stuff like this. You have to be the woman and man in your marriage because he doesn't want the role.

I took her comment about she couldn't be bothered as she couldn't be bothered with the story. She explained that was not what she meant, and I we have squashed it as a misunderstanding. Jomo and I are not bitter enemies, and we are not warring. We are fine, truly.

Oh I forgot to add. I don't own my own home, we live in an apartment, that I've lived in for over 10yrs. With VERY VERY nosey neighbors !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-11-08 12:32:00

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 12:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Nov 8 2007, 11:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 11:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 8 2007, 10:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ Nov 8 2007, 08:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm sorry to...but trust me, I'll be okay. I thank god EVERYday that I have my friends that I met with on VJ that support me and are there for me everyday....and you know who you guys are !!!!! If not, than I would have jumped off the nearest bridge long ago !!

Unfortunately, "I" don't have many options at this point.... I can't get a separation because he LIVES here. In Maryland you have to be legally separated for a yr before you can file for divorce. Hence, I can't MAKE him leave.

Number 2, in regards to a protection order, I haven't looked into the filing a separation 1st....but I do know that I have to show proof that he's been abusive, or whatever else.... we've been there done that, bought the T-shirt (2 1/2 months ag)....he CHANGED (for the better) for a month and now back to square one. I told him last night (in one of his rages) IF he were to even TRY to even get physical again, remember that "I" was REEEEEAL nice the 1st time !!!! and there are absolutely NO 2nd chances !!!

Also, since I've been supporting all of us financially from day one (although he's been working nonstop since July of LAST year) "I" don't have ANY extra money to pay for him to leave, nor do I feel "I" need to pay for him to leave. He throws that "you are responsible for me" in my face (his cousin tells him that) and I tell him.........um, ya betta watch what you say with that because "I" could soooo show proof that this was fraud, so you may want to think of something else !!!

He threatens ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the time that he is going to leave, but he needs money. I do NOT UNDERSTAND why he just won't go and stay with that good ole family in Philly !!! His brother knows everything and how he's been treating me, etc etc and I told him that he NEEDS to get out of here. Not quite sure they take me seriously.

I say to him all the time, wow you REALLY put up quite an act for being such a wonderful person BEFORE you got here.......seriously, have you ever really and truly thought about an acting career ?? He says, I wasn't acting.... yeah, okay !!!

He's immature, plain and simple..... he'll grow up someday, but "I" won't be around to see that happen. I said that "I" am training him to be a better person for the next one !!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-11-08 12:09:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 8 2007, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Nov 8 2007, 10:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 11:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 8 2007, 10:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ Nov 8 2007, 08:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow, you really did say it out loud.......and fast. What do you type 200 wpms?

I'm just going to say to this that Kelly's relationship with Craig is completely different then mine with Andre. I thank God every day that we do not have a single one of the issues she mentions.

That being said, what she describes happens more frequently then even I care to imagine.

I'm so sorry for your worries, Kel.

Shoot girl, no worries at all !!! Like I said....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use

Oh, but I forgot to include that those relationships are for those that HAVE their men here !!!

Even with Craig watching Decision House, Oprah, Dr Phil (he LOVES him) and Divorce Court........and he does this ALL on his own, you would THINK that would be some type of theraputic counseling for him.........NOPE !!!! He supposed to go to his anger managment (New Behaviors) class tonight --that starts tonight (for 22 wks), he said last night.... he'll go if he wants to NOone is making him go and I said.... well, than you'll just have to live with who you are .....and as Dr Phil says..........HOWZE THAT WORKING FOR YOU ???!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-11-08 11:48:00

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 8 2007, 11:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 8 2007, 10:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ Nov 8 2007, 08:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-11-08 11:32:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 1 2007, 09:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (classychic77 @ Oct 31 2007, 10:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well I have decided to end my journey before it even fully began. I have been focusing my attention on a few red flags and decided after much thought and prayer to end my relationship. I want to thank each and every one of you for the advice that I was given. This thread and every thing I have learned from it was truely a blessing. It opened my eyes and and I am very thankful for it. There are alot of strong and beautiful woman here! And even though I am ending my journey you aren't going to get rid of me that easy, lol. I enjoy talking to you guys and reading Jawi's fabulous story! I still have a huge love for Jamaica and its people. And just because "D" wasn't right for me doesn't mean every man in Jamaica is the same. The tears have been shed and now I am at peace with my decision. So onto a new chapter in my life.

I'm so sorry, Classy. I know the decision was difficult to make; but if it what you feel then it is. I believe you should always go with your instincts.

You deserve someone as special as you are.

Ditto to the fullest !!! I commend you for being so strong!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-11-01 08:24:00

QUOTE (shrewdgal @ Oct 29 2007, 12:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

so..noone knows about the tax stuff?? hmm.. I will check and see what I can find out and then let you know!

QUOTE (shrewdgal @ Oct 29 2007, 09:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey guys!
I just wanted to add (but I am thinking most of you probably already know this) for those of you doing the K-3 or CR-1 that you can get your husband added to your car insurance as a non-driver for more documentation and the rate shouldnt go up (if anything go down b/c now you are married!).

I also have a question. How are you going to file your taxes at the end of this year as far as filing status. I would think married filing separately but like the additional income would be zero..right?

You can ask Melwin (Jax) this info although he just got here this summer? I don't think any of CR1's or K3 men have been here long enough to know much about the tax info. If you do it through a K3 or CR1 there are more steps to follow. I also think that nyseness (Anna) knows this info too. You can try PMing one of them.

If it's a k1, we filed jointly....because he was here last year. We'll be obviously doing the same thing next year.

Hope that helps....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-29 13:45:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 03:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Oct 26 2007, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 02:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Oct 26 2007, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 02:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Jawi....you just made me chuckle a little. I wonder if my husband would be smart enough to hire two ladies to pretend to be his crazy mother and sister and 9 little kids to run around the yard, just to fool me. Knowing them, I know the devil spawned all of them. Otherwise, it would've been a good trick.

Not knocking you.......Good points, though. And, I agree with most.

When I met my husband, I was involved with someone else. I got to know him in a friendly manner and I, too, watched how he interacted with others. We were platonic for a very long time. And, when I was in the process of deciding to break up with my BF, I told him I didn't know if I would or could. It was never about him. One of the first things I told him was that I would not have any more children either. I gave him some tough words from the start. He handled them like a trooper.

The thing is there are no clear cut "red flags" to look for. If it all came with some sort of set rule-book, this LDR life would be so much easier. But, there are things that happen, that if they make you pause, need to be heeded. Sometimes they slap you so hard in the face, you have to pay attention.

Of course I'm not implying that my opinion or theories are true for everyone. I posted his story only to point out that meeting "family" is not nearly enough proof that he loves you. My point was that you shouldn't take everything he tells you as the absolute truth and gospel. Challenge him and force him to delve deeper in his professions of love.

Jomo from what you post here, you definitely keep your husband on his toes at all times. I like that you stay true to yourself first and foremost. I am the same way, in that, I have to stay true to myself first. If I can manage that, then I don't have any regrets. But, I refuse to deny my truth to help a man fool me just because I want to feel love.

The gigolos don't know how to deal with a woman that truly loves herself IMHO.

Jawi....I was not arguing with you in any way shape or form. If I came across that way, at all, I am sorry.

You have no idea how many people have told me I'm not easy. I know it. And, like I always say, I am what I am...and one thing I am is a person who respects herself. I do keep my husband on his toes. He's used to it and he actually respects that he can't walk all over me. While he's calmer then me, he's just as pig-headed. We make a good match.

I just told Mindy that one of my main things is I do not accept cheating. If I found out my husband was cheating on me or HAD EVER cheated on me in the past, no matter where we were in our relationship, he would be gone. There are too many men out there and too many communicable diseases.....and I respect myself. It's my one non-negotiable point. Everything else you can work through.

It never crossed my mind that we were arguing in the slightest. We are simply exchanging ideas, I don't even think we are debating. Essentially, we are saying the same things. No need to apologize girl!

I hear the same thing that I'm not easy, and my temper and mouth can be fierce (ask Shawn) LOL. I have unleashed my fury on many a Jamaican male thinking I'm a pushover. Jonesie thinks that I am too friendly (so does A)...but they both know that I am a force to reckon with if need be too. I am a Libra through and through and I often see both side of the story. I can be very opinionated, but usually after I have weighed both sides over and over again. Even in my opinions, I will give merit to the opposite side as well.

What is a dealbreaker for one person may not be a dealbreaker for the next person. I can't tolerate a liar, a man using the f word or being disrespectful to me, or a man that hits. My personal truth allows me to accept human nature, and cheating is not necessarily a dealbreaker to me. I know that in this lifetime, both A and I will both find ourselves attracted to other people. How we deal with the attraction and communicate with each other about the attraction means more to me. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't condone cheating at all. But, the details of the infidelity would hold more weight for me than the actual deed.

Oh, those other things are on my list too. You are much more forgiving then me. I would hear "I cheated on you" and nothing but the blood pounding in my ears after that and maybe me slamming the door after I threw his stuff on the front lawn. He needn't try to even explain anything after that.

Yeah, but Kelly.........those are "his friends". I'm like NOT !!!! If "I" don't know them, they are NOT your friends!!! He knows ALL of my friends and has a hard time believing that women CAN be *just* friends with men. 99% of my friends are men and even in Jamaica, that has been an issue we dealt with for months.

Never ever have I heard the words out of his mouth........I cheated on you! He *thinks* that women that will talk to him, at work, on the bus, in the grocery store and that give him their number are HIS friends. That was a lesson on stupidity at ITS finest !!! and patience to...in training what's right and NOT acceptable !!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 14:21:00

QUOTE (12/11/2006 @ Oct 26 2007, 02:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 02:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jawi876 @ Oct 26 2007, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 02:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Absolutely!!! That to is my breaking point. I cannot and will not tolerate it in no way shape form or fashion. Its just not acceptable because I know I won't do it to him and for sure don't want him to do it to me. My SO is really good looking but sh"t so am I. As quickly as he could get someone else so could I and that is something he is reminded of regularly (not over the top with it though). LOL!

A physical whatever with another woman....he'd be gone!! Although there was a TON of the getting of phone numbers because women are just WAAAY to easy to give them out when there's a "smooth talker". The *thinking* that was okay and the fact that he was never going to be caught.....yeah, okay....but he did. He hasn't done that for quite some time, learned his lesson that it was stupid and it was getting him absolutely NOwhere!! Like Kelly, I don't play and I've said to Craig on numerous occassions that "I" don't need a man to make me feel good about myself. You HAVE to feel good about your OWNself and have self respect !!! Challenge or no challenge, those days are LONG gone !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 14:01:00

QUOTE (nannygirl82 @ Oct 26 2007, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Oct 26 2007, 11:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Okay, I've been checking (for sh&ts & giggles) the uscis website, once a day ....and this morning there was...

Application Type: I485, APPLICATION TO REGISTER PERMANENT RESIDENCE OR TO ADJUST STATUS

Current Status: This case has been sent to another office for processing.

On October 25, 2007, we transferred this I485 APPLICATION TO REGISTER PERMANENT RESIDENCE OR TO ADJUST STATUS to our CALIFORNIA SERVICE CENTER location for processing and sent you a notice explaining this action. Please follow any instructions on this notice. You will be notified by mail when a decision is made, or if the office needs something from you. If you move while this case is pending, call customer service. We process cases in the order we receive them. You can use our processing dates to estimate when this case will be done. This case has been sent to our CALIFORNIA SERVICE CENTER location. Follow the link below to check processing dates. You can also receive automatic e-mail updates as we process your case. Just follow the link below to register.

Question though.... he's had his bio and hasn't received his EAD card. I would have thought that would have come before this ???

Bizarre but sooooooooooooooooooooooo happy no interview !!!! Now sit and sit and sit in California ....

good luck with that...we are still waiting......

yeah, yeah....i know....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 13:50:00

QUOTE (Yardiewife @ Oct 26 2007, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Does anyone know of or have any experience living in Nashville, TN? Just wondering if the stereotypes of "The South" are true...and what the racial atmosphere is like. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Been there a couple of times as an old friend lives there. Come to think of it, I didn't see many black people in his area at all....but that was years ago.

Anywhere "in the south" there's going to be issues.

I good friend/client of mine is in Charlotte NC right now at a conference and he's the only black guy around....and he's irritated because those that are in this conference are steering waaaay clear of him. He's VERY socialable and I think that isn't working in his best interest down there .....ridiculous !!!

QUOTE (12/11/2006 @ Oct 26 2007, 12:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey,

On a K1 visa when are they allowed to receive a driver's license? Does anyone know of the required documents needed to obtain a DL? Also, I called the DMV of PA and they were saying that he would be able to drive with his JA license for 1 year if he obtained an international driver's license permit from his country. I didn't know of this until he was on the plane (literally). Has anyone ever heard of this? It looks like some scammers sell these international DL over the internet for all different prices.

Each state is completely different. You'll just need to do the research for your state. It will have all of the information on-line.

That's what a JA friend of mine did here in MD. He had his JA DL and drove for a year and now has his MD license.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 11:59:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 11:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Oct 26 2007, 10:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We did all you are describing. We got his green card in the mail. Never heard hide nor hare of the EAD before that. Green card came in the mail about 4 months after we filed AOS. No interview.

QUOTE (lillywight @ Oct 26 2007, 10:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Co-sign that love is a powerful thing!!!

Jomo's Girl . . . I've shared with you my concerns about "other women" on the island. Some funky things occurred my last trip . . . but Corey's a real smooth/sweet talker and an artist at not answering questions directly.

Funny thing. I had an epiphany last night while sitting on my couch "pretending" to watch TV with my daughters. I'd been praying a lot in the past few weeks -- praying out loud in my bed at night . . . asking God to give me strength to make the right decision with regard to my relationship with Corey (because of the mounting doubts I was having). I asked that if he couldn't give me the strength to make the appropriate decision -- that he provide me with a steadfast path to walk . . . that would bring me to the appropriate resolution. God is an awesome God.

I don't think I've ever been called an answer to a prayer. I KNOW I love you now, Lilly.

I know that every case is different and there's absolutely NO rhyme nor reason for why they do what they do....but Shaun's app was transferred back in March - I think it was and he got his EAD in the mail about a month after his BIO aptmt ???

ARGH..

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 10:30:00

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 10:19:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 26 2007, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (12/11/2006 @ Oct 25 2007, 09:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (JALOVE @ Oct 25 2007, 09:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jonesie @ Oct 25 2007, 09:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (nannygirl82 @ Oct 25 2007, 05:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jonesie @ Oct 25 2007, 08:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ Oct 24 2007, 09:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In my opinion, Lilly wants to show the world what he is.
If something similar happened to me, this would be the TIP of the iceberg.
I don't blame her, apart from mentioning where Nicky lives if that's something that Nicky hasn't put out there.
Can't see why Lilly SHOULDN'T post it if it's true.

I agree JaEnglish. Lilly welcome to the board and I'm sorry that you're going thru this - my prayers go out to you, as well as you Nicky.

yup....i think this happens a lot...and i really would want someone to tell me if they knew my man....and this is one of the down sides for going through this process

What bothers me is that ppl are getting upset with Lilly because she posted here, but the culprit is the "man" they both share. Why is none of the blame on him? He's the one deceiving both women (and probably even more women none of us know about). It's a shame...

no i dont think u all are getting where my anger is coming from with this please re read what i said its wrong what happen to them both however, all that was stated in this post by lilly was ALREADY SPOKEN TO WITH NICKY EVERYTHING this woman talk to nicky and they both shared their stories so what has me upset is that she joined this site to air what they spoke of PERSONALLY what is the purpose if u have already done this with nikki ????someone i need help in understa nding that this is ok

so please tell me now if i was seein ur man and we both found out we shared the same fiance etc....and me and you talk abt it in private off and on all day....then i go join the site u frequent, air it all and you havent, detail for detail and splash a foto and links to blogs etccc...how would u feel. you have to look at it that way as welll what would be the purpose now if someone can get me to understand that then maybe i can begin to see it a different way seriously im open to seein it in a different light but based on facts presented i cant right now woman to woman i would not have put her on blast like that if she had not even come to this thread to express what happen on her own i question her motives on this post

U ain't never lied!!!!!! I commend lily for approaching the situation but it seems to me that she feels like the better person because she obviously wasn't as deep into it as Nicky is. But, then I also see it as being great because now we all get to see what this ####### looks like and forewarn others if anyone has pursued him now on in the near future. Believe me, these two are not the only ones. I have been in this situation before (not paper filing) with a gigalo from JA and wished that I had his picture to post on here so that i could let everyone know. His name is ASTON BROOKS aka TONY who hangs out in Montego Bay Margaritaville and does not know how to read or write ( how are you a gigalo and can't read and write?) and has a scar on his face (forehead to nose) I can laugh at it now but I was messed up bad when I found out. I had sent money because of the sad stories and all types of stuff. But, Karma is great and i know it will come back to him. He had women from all over but had his main squeeze back in JA with him and she is the one who called me. You can never be too careful with these types of relationship because all many of them see is the "papers". Not to say that they aren't in love also but believe me traveling is just as important to them. I told my fiance....I don't have a problem helping you out with papers but please don't let that be all its about. I mean we talked (and still talk) about this daily. Communication is key.

And, be mindful of that whole super privacy thing coming from your SO. Some people are truly private but we just have to be careful. My SO just asked me tonight why I didn't put our pic up but I told him i didn't know how to and if he would be okay with that. He doesn't have a prob with it.

Nicky i'm sorry about your pain right now and I don't know if you are up to listening but its not worth it. I would save myself from the stress and pain in the future. Even if he convinces you that he will change, you will always be thinking about it and the trust is just not going to be there like it was. You will find someone who is much more deserving of you. I'm glad it blew up in his face because you just don't treat people like that. Mind em come up and tun handicap or some sometin. Not wishing that on him but he is doing anything to get here and thats not fair to you or any of the other women.

This is absolutely not true. Lilly was in love with this guy. They discussed a future together. They were discussing and preparing for the visa process. She spent tons of money on trips, on phone calls, on gifts. Lilly was just as vested in the relationship. Maybe she didn't actually file for the visa or prepare for a wedding by sending out invitations (have we not all been warned not to do that before the visa is in hand anyhow?); but Lilly was just as deep into the relationship as Nicky was. Lilly's only triumph thus far has been that she immediately saw he was unworthy of her and dumped him.

AND, the fact that lilly....HER WORDS.....I'm thankful that I was smart enough to make him wait a year before I filed for a Visa, or I'd be in the same position Nicky is.

That's what we've said on this thread a TRILLION times ladies (gentlemen) if you do NOT ***know*** your man/woman that well, and are NOT familiar with the island, culture, their family, friends etc etc TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW THAT PERSON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and please listen to those that have been there done that.

Love has a VERY powerful hold on you, especially when you've had shi*&ty relationships in the past and then here comes the person that promises you the moon, stars and whatever else !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-26 10:00:00

QUOTE (Marie87 @ Oct 25 2007, 02:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (shrewdgal @ Oct 25 2007, 09:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Marie87 @ Oct 24 2007, 02:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tamisha, Marlita, Jax, Kimmy, Jenice, JATam (and anyone else who filed a CR1 lol) - where did you guys have your wedding? I'm starting to look into some places

We got married at a cute little Villa near Mandeville, in the middle of the island. It was PERFECT!!!

Hey! What's the name of the villa? We're from Mandeville so I may know if it. I'm going down next week for my Uncle's funeral but maybe I'll get a chance to check it out.

QUOTE (brownnskinn @ Oct 25 2007, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Another

Do you all have special names for "doin the do". Ours is "adukadukle"

We say "mmmm" lol. Like "babes, me ready fi mmm right now" or "me feel seh me coulda mmm yuh kno" lol. I know, weird and TMI!!

BTW - Does anybody know about the rules for marriage in JA? I know you have to be on the island for at least 24 hours prior...any idea of the cost as well?

Visitors can be married just 24 hour after arriving in Jamaica providing prior application has been made for a marriage license.

The cost of a license is four thousand Jamaican dollars (approximately US$60 - US$65).

To apply for your marriage license, call our Ministry of National Security & Justice at 1-876-906-4923 or visit:

Ministry of National Security & Justice
111 Harbour Street
Kingston
1-876-906-4923
Office Hours: Monday to Thursday 9:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. Friday from 9:00 A.M to 4:00 P.M.

Unlike many countries, Jamaica does not expect you take a blood test before getting married. However, the following documentation is required:
Proof of citizenship - certified copy of birth certificate, which includes father’s name.
Parent’s written consent if under 18 years of age.
Proof of divorce if applicable (original certificate of divorce).
Certified copy of death certificate for widow or widower.
Italian nationals celebrating their wedding in Jamaica must notify their embassy and a certified copy of their marriage certificate forwarded to their embassy to be legalized and translated.
French Canadians need a notarised translated copy of all documents and a photocopy of the original French documents.]
There are non-denominational Marriage Officers who can officiate either at their offices, in their homes or at a place chosen by the couple, and are able to provide witnesses. Marriage Officers charge anywhere from US$50 – US$250.

Some of our Marriage Officers, located in our popular resort regions, are:

Kingston
Mr. Silvera Castro
Civil Registrar of Marriages
c/o Caribbean Cement Company
Tel: (876) 925 3690
Email: scastro@caribcement.com

Rev. Aaron Dumas
28 Sandringham Avenue, Kingston 10
Tel: (876) 929 1667 – 8
Fax: (876) 754 4115

Mr. Roy Jones
4 Gibson Avenue, Kingston 6
Tel/Fax: (876) 927 2522
Email: roy.jones@cwjamaica.com

Montego Bay
Carmen Thompson
37 Market Street, Montego Bay
Tel: (876) 952 3782

Rev. Terrence Gordon
59 Kent Avenue, Ironshore
Montego Bay
Tel/Fax: (876) 953 3376

Ocho Rios
Mr. Raphael Mason
Exchange District,
P.O. Box 274, Ocho Rios
Tel: (876) 974 0479

Rev. Millard Edwards
Moneague, St. Ann
Tel: (876) 796 2612

Port Antonio
Rev. Delroy Farr
25 Mount Oakley Road,
P.O. Box 229, Port Antonio
Tel: (876) 993 3369

Negril
Rev. Winston Barrett
C/o United Church of Jamaica & Grand Cayman
Tel: (876) 955 2753

Pastor Lorrel Garwood
Lot #50, Phase 1, Llandilo
Savanna-la-Mar
Tel: (876) 955 4672

Some hotels will make all arrangements for you. Special package prices include performance of the ceremony, tax, transportation costs and expenses incurred plus any other special requests (wedding cake, etc.). Check with your hotel as these packages vary.

Hope that helps!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 18:28:00

QUOTE (Elizabethnhenry @ Oct 25 2007, 04:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Oldtimers! Wow so much has changed - so many new names! (Not you yardiewife!

)
Hey Jonesie - what? 6 more weeks! How exciting!!! Hi Mindy, Kelly, Ms.S and everyone else.
Hope you are all doing well. Its a cold, dreary afternoon in NYC. Hope sun is shining where you are and I hope all our California gals and guys are out of harm's way!
Take care and I'll try to pop in more often.

Hey stranger !!! Yeah, rainy, dreary and cold here but we need the rain so desperately !

Hope all is well with you and Henry !!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 15:48:00

QUOTE (jamerican @ Oct 25 2007, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know this has been asked a MILLION times and I am sorry for not paying attention BUT...I told K he needs to get the police report and his shot records, do either of these have a cost involved? With the police record, does he have to request it from Kingston or can he get it locally?

Thanks and sorry for the redundancy

He'll also need the non-impediment form! Even if they haven't asked for it in the most recent interviews, I would still suggest to get it.

It ALL costs money !!! It's been a long time since we've needed anything, I don't remember the cost and everything has changed since then...

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 15:39:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 25 2007, 04:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was just telling a friend of mine how I've almost completely soured on visiting JA right now. The issues you are mentioning Kel, are just part of that. Dang, what a week.

Since I've been traveling to Jamaica for forever and waaaay before I met Craig, I still have love for Jamaica. I love the Negril area and he's from Bluefields (Mandeville) area....so far enough away from family...

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 15:38:00

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 25 2007, 04:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ Oct 25 2007, 03:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Oct 25 2007, 03:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jengles @ Oct 25 2007, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a day on the board. I wouldn't worry about cory prospering even if he does get married she will be looking at him out the corner of her eye and

mr jengles has been diagnosed with diabetes and he's taking it really hard, we've had a stressful couple of weeks, with him wanting to go back to ja as not to be a burden on me. he's liking diabetes to hiv, i told him that here diabetes is managable. it didn't help that his doctor was not helpful, i asked the man what was a high reading as to cause mr jengles to go to the hospital and the doctor wanted to know "why I asked that question" can you even imagine? plus as you guys know, he wants to work he is taking the inactivity hard. He'll be working a few days next week, so he's looking forward to that.

mr jengles feels a bit better now, we spent the day in the hospital yesterday and everyone he met was a immigrant, who told him, he needed to slow down and get himself established and stop stressing so he could get his sugar under control, the phone calls from ja don't help. I finally said to him, why are they calling you, you don't have a job and they are stressing you. and they are calling in the day when i'm not home. dat mi nuh like.

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ Oct 25 2007, 02:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 25 2007, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jamerican @ Oct 25 2007, 11:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

AMEN!!!!! Your points are now becoming lost because you are starting to beat a dead horse. Nikki knows, we all know, now lets move forward. I know personally I have heard ENOUGH. We understand your pain, and we are here for support but lets move forward and there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for YOU to contact the Embassy!!

I'm not sure I wouldn't contact them.

Without a SHADOW of a doubt I would. I would do my utmost to destroy his life...Just asked my husband what he`d do and he would contact them too....Not telling her she should, but I damn well would

lol, that's what i did and it happened right here in the states.

cause he LIVES in the US .... we've said this over and over again. Once they arrive, calls (doesn't matter if you're working or not), they call cause they THINK you have money over here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got pissed at Craig last night when he wanted to go get a calling card to call his mother and I'm like .....nooo, you're not going to let her get you down about the money. He didn't, when I was home, but then went to a school function, he flippin called her AND he was in a sh&t mood when I came home..... just like "I" knew was going to happen!!!!

It's NEVER EVER EVER ending !!!!!!!!!

Well i spoke to some of his relatives and mentioned how stressed he is and how stress is making his sugar go up, so I hope everyone gets the message.

I wish you luck with that.

Yeah, same here. They might get it *that week*, but calls will roll in after that. They just don't know, cause they haven't been here.!!! Craig's been here for 15 months and mommy calls EVERY WEEK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still asking for money. He's told her if you want to call and see how I'm doing, fine...but don't call and ask for me to help pay, I can't. She always manages to get a word in about it ..... Love her to death, but it drives me crazy. She knows not to call the house phone anymore!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 15:23:00

QUOTE (Jengles @ Oct 25 2007, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (JaEnglishGirl @ Oct 25 2007, 02:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 25 2007, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jamerican @ Oct 25 2007, 11:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm not sure I wouldn't contact them.

Without a SHADOW of a doubt I would. I would do my utmost to destroy his life...Just asked my husband what he`d do and he would contact them too....Not telling her she should, but I damn well would

lol, that's what i did and it happened right here in the states.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 14:36:00

QUOTE (waynegeraldine @ Oct 25 2007, 11:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (lillywight @ Oct 25 2007, 11:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (waynegeraldine @ Oct 25 2007, 11:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Jomo @ Oct 25 2007, 09:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (JALOVE @ Oct 25 2007, 12:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jamerican @ Oct 25 2007, 01:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (classychic77 @ Oct 24 2007, 09:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

DID U REALLY HAVE TO POST THIS IT IS OUT OF ORDER! OUT OF CONTROL! COULD YOU NOT HAVE LEFT THAT TO A PERSONAL MESSAGE WITH NICKY WE ALL DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOUR BUSINESS THIS IS HURTFUL AND I BELIEVE UR PURPOSLEY TRYIN TO RUB THIS IN AND WHY ARE U EVEN TELLING WHERE NICKY LIVES YOUR A MAD OOMAN

Wow!!!! Jalove I completely agree with you. Nicky I am so sorry you are going through this, you are in my prayers!!! I know I'm new to this but we are all here for you.

Remember ... sometimes when in pain...we do things that don't make sense. I know I have in pain sent out crazy letters to friends and family members telling all my sh** because I wanted to hurt HIM but ultimatly it just made me look foolish. Just remember all both women (if not more) are in pain and probably are just looking for support.

im wondering why lily would join VJ today just to air this business and tell nicky business is what upset me why today? why not give nicky a chance to have aired her business on a site that she frequents daily or keep the most personal details in a PM noone need know where nicky live or that his son is coming then to say give nicky love and support? did nicky vent her issue on here to ask for love and support she didnt post abt this or was even given the opportunity hence her statement of He's telling her that we were just friends, LOL. I have photos, text messages, etc. I've shared it all with Nicky -- but she's in a quandary as to what she should i just feel it a little bit much

OK...time for me to step in on this issue.

I told Lilly and Nicky what I figured out yesterday. And, yes, Marlita, it was because of you posting her pictures that I figured it out. I know Lilly from a couple of other sites and she had posted many pictures of Corey, in the exact same shirt he was wearing in one of those pictures yesterday. I did some research on some previous postings here and there and then I went to the ladies via PM's and told them what I thought. I sent each to the respective websites to verify for themselves. Turns out, I was right. They ended up wanting to talk to one another and after asking permission from both, I gave each the other's information. From there, they are working this triangle out.

Nicky is in denial. She's invested much time, energy, emotions, and money into this relationship and she doesn't see a clear cut answer on what to do. Lilly dumped Corey immediately. I believe Lilly's post was a way of working through her feelings. She loved this guy. If you would read some of her posts, she really loved him. And, he talked words of love and of building a future right back at her. They even discussed LIlly filing a visa for him. She asked me where to start a few months ago. To add insult to injury, Nicky and he were already engaged when Lilly met Corey. She was duped from the very beginning. Anyhow, I believe her posts are her way of trying to get over Corey and this situation. And, a way to show Nicky that he did this to her too......he carried on while Nicky filed for a visa for him and talked about their wedding and their lives together. She really wants Nicky to think about what she is still contemplating. Believe it or not, Lilly took an automatic liking to Nicky and her maternal instincts kicked in. She doesn't want to see her hurt again now or in the future.

Sometimes you have to do bold things to get the point across. That's all that was. Lilly cares enough to want to shock her into really thinking about it. And talking on the phone to her did not seem to be getting this point across.

One last thought for you, Nicky, if you are reading this......if there were two of you and all his family and friends were involved.........how many more could there be out there? Think about it.

Nicky......tune out the thoughts of money and pride and really, REALLY think about this. Please.

That is excatly the kind of person Shawn was telling everyone about last week, I don't know the man and don't want to be too harsh, but I'm wondering right now what his girlfriend in Jamaica would think about all of this. He seem to really like talking about the future to together with ladies he meets, he should have been married by now if he is that much the marrying type, there are women in Jamaica you know, but the thing about jamaican women is that they really don't marry bums.

The only thing this man loves are his sneakers and Jeans, and you can toss in a gold chain here and there. I see visa all over this one. Kick him to the curb Nicky, you can do better, but that is only my opinion.

I've shared my concerns with Nicky about my hunch that there are local women he is involved with -- and I gave her specific reasons why I thought what I thought. She can choose to ignore them if she wants, but the signs are there. The hair had been up on the back of my neck since my visit in August and I was desperately seeking the truth. I can handle anything as long as it's the truth. And, handle this . . . I will. I'm writing a letter to the Embassy with PROOF of my relationship with this man. Although it may not fall into the right hands in time for their interview, I pray that God will see fit to keep this bum in his own country . . . and that he stops preying on American women in search of a Visa. Believe me, Corey's very sweet, soft-spoken, and suave . . . almost innocent and naive acting. He could win over a charlatan with his childish good-looks and romantic swooning.

Silly me. I fell too -- and I'm a grown woman. But, knowing what I know now about him, I can walk away without hesitancy.

I know you have been hurt and the man is a liar but you have NO BUSINESS writing the embassy, I want Nicky to leave the man too but it's no one's business if she decide to stay with him. You are taking this a little to far. I know what went down is kinda crazy but your posts are becoming a little bit overbearing.

I agree !!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2007-10-25 10:33:00

[quote name='luvtravlin' date='Oct 6 2006, 02:00 PM' post='492869']
[quote name='tali' date='Oct 6 2006, 01:51 PM' post='492844']
[quote name='Jme3584' date='Oct 6 2006, 12:30 AM' post='491670']
[quote name='tali' post='491642' date='Oct 5 2006, 09:00 PM']

Tali~ How are things going? Are things getting any better? Just wanted to let you know that you always have someone to vent/talk to if you need it (F)

[/quote]

Thanks for the note. Things go back and forth. But I am honestly wondering whether marriage is such a good idea. Its scary to say that - even scarier to feel that - but its where I am right now. :cry:

To me, he is selfish - he thinks I am RICH - and he is rude (dosen't answer me when I talk, curses to himself in Jamaican every time I say something he dosent like). He says I'm just not the same woman I used to be. He says I make everything a problem and "cause argument". I'm like of course I'm not the same woman - we are not on vacation in Jamaica anymore. There is no hotel housekeeper to clean your mess every day. I have a very demanding job - a teenager - bills - I cannot be susie sunshine at your beck and call all the freakin time! :angry:

Dang. This is so hard. If I just thought it was transition items - I'd grit my teeth and go through this... but I'm starting to wonder if the things I'm experiencing aren't plain old "character" issues. One more thing that really gets me.... when we have an argument he's like "fine, I'll just do it your way - I won't say anythng else about it - I'm already on a pretty thin line here". I ask him what that means and he's like "if it dosen't work out, I go back to Jamaica." So what does this mean? Is he only here to live a better life? I wonder that. But in other situation's he has actually said he wants to go home. So what am I to think? :unsure:

Needless to say, I'm pretty sad. And I'm confused. And we are almost 60 days into the 90 day K1 process and I am not feeling in a marrying mood.

Please keep me in your prayers! :help:

Thanks for letting me vent.
[/quote]

GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL I am sooooooooooooooooooo feeling what you're talking about. Are you living in my same household???? I waited to the LAST possible day to get married and I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not into this AT ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't air this stuff out on the VJ site, just to those that are TRULY going through what I'm going through!!!

It will be GREAT and "normal" for a day or 2 and then go RIGHT back into the same ole same ole flippin BS immaturity ####### !!!! Today, I have a meeting at my sons school with the Vice P, guidance counselor and the teacher he disrespected yesterday. My son is 12 but has NEVER EVER done this before. He is SOOOOOOOO acting out the BS ####### that's here in our house and "I" am PERSONALLY going to have a nervous breakdown. I do NOT get supported, NOONE is asking ME how "I" am doing, nor do THEY care!!! It's ALL about Craig and ONLY Craig!!!

JUST this morning, Craig said, let Austin have what HE wants...to be with you and ONLY you and I'll go back to Jamaica !!!!!!!!!!! It's a maturity thing, but IF I could send him back, trust me ........I would. If I EVER had to go through this process again, I SOOOO would NOT !!!!!

I am TOTALLY confused, helpless, frustrated and very veeeeeeeeeeery sad !!! There's other issues within our relationship that I'm also dealing with..........a "friend" that keeps calling. More to THAT story, but I gotta get going.

If you want to vent....and talk, I'm here to listen!!!!! Someone that has a teenager, that is going through EXACTLY what I am !!!!

Take care, I'll be back in about an hour or so ....

Kelly :wacko:

[/quote]

OKAY, I was PM'g someone........I thought............SO that's how MY DAY IS GOING !!!!!!!!!!!! I just aired out my s**t !!!!! I didn't mean to, but f** it.....that's what I did...............so..............if anyone wants to give me advice, please do !!!!! Cause I'm ready to commit myself !!!!!!!!!!!

This process, scenario or whatever......SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-10-06 13:03:00

[quote name='tali' date='Oct 6 2006, 01:51 PM' post='492844']
[quote name='Jme3584' date='Oct 6 2006, 12:30 AM' post='491670']
[quote name='tali' post='491642' date='Oct 5 2006, 09:00 PM']

Tali~ How are things going? Are things getting any better? Just wanted to let you know that you always have someone to vent/talk to if you need it (F)

Needless to say, I'm pretty sad. And I'm confused. And we are almost 60 days into the 90 day K1 process and I am not feeling in a marrying mood.

Please keep me in your prayers! :help:

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-10-06 13:00:00

We'll be spending our New years right here in NYC!

I have us booked (for months now) at a hotel in New York City for New Years Eve (1 night)....hoping we'll be able to make it!!! I LOVE New York for New Years...it's just so much fun!!

Squitto, if we are able to make it, we should definitely link up !! Shauna that includes you and Mike too !!! I have a really good friend that lives up there (that is from Jamaica--a bunch of us were there 2 yrs ago celebrating). She showed us ALL around, we had a total Blast !!!

A good friend of mine that I've know for about 9 yrs (that's Jamaican)-- who lives really close to us, his wife introduced me to the VJ site last year...and when I searched and found this WONDERFUL link for the Yardie thread....it has been a HUGE HUGE help to me personally !!!!! So that makes me laugh ALOT that someone has the NERVE to say this site hasn't helped them!!!! Just blows my mind !

We're heading down to Virginia Beach (supposed to) this weekend for a soccer tournament, but the weather is supposed to be REALLY bad. NOT looking forward to that again this year, although Craig is TOTALLY pumped about seeing "a beach"!!!!

Kim, you know, my thoughts and prayers are with you girl !!! I'm happy that Duane is there to support you through this trying time. Showed Craig the website for the shirts, he wants one of EVERYthing !!!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-10-05 11:43:00

Nanny, sorry about the passing of your grandmother...but her suffering is now over, and that is a reason to be thankful...

As for my previous posts about not being able to go in to the interview w/ your fiance, here is the lady's response to my question (mind you she went a couple of months ago):

Nope. You can't even enter the embassy. He will be allowed with his appointment paper and his passport. He will have to show these to security just to get in. Then, he will have to go through metal detectors, join a line (ha! in Jamaica, imagine that) and show that person the same stuff just to get to the window he needs to get to. There's no "room" per se. He will be called to a window (or several) to explain stuff and for his actual interview. You will be stuck outside, on the streets of Kingston, waiting. I, too, had read of others who went with their finances. Those are old posts. Security concerns limit the number of people allowed in government buildings to JUST those needing to be there. You are not of any help to him in this interview. Thus, you are not allowed.

Also, he won't get the visa right away. After the interview, he will have to go to the paymaster and pay the $40 delivery fee. They will deliver it to him in roughly 4 business days. So, if you go and wait, take into account weekends.

I'm confused. Was she at the interview and they wouldn't let her in?? People go the Embassy everyday without appointments....there's an information booth. So you can get in there. Like everyone said, the consular officers also ask the USC questions.

Not sure how to cut and paste post but Wynterstail posted an e-mail directly from the Embassy dated September 27th.

Was this other chic an AMERICAN ???? If you are an American citizen you have EVERY RIGHT to get into "OUR" American Embassy (at least the one in Kingston) for whatever reasons!!!!!! That other person is nuts.....did she get approved? Did she not go AT all? If she did go, why was "she" turned away??? Did she ever venture onto "our" Yardie thread???

Craig WOULD HAVE BEEN denied, there's no doubt, if "I" wasn't there!!!!!!! When the other Yardie folks that have already been there/done that, a year or so ago, keep in mind that things have changed soooooo much since then and "I" highly recommend that you attend at least for that day !!! Trust me, I know that finances may be the issue, but ....the possibility of having him go through it alone, by himself AND the scrutiny they will put him through (nowadays) with you not being there.....ugh........???

Shauna....I'll check in wit ya lata...a BIG hug goes out to ya !!!! (L)

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-10-04 13:09:00

[quote name='Belly'sGirl' post='486620' date='Oct 3 2006, 06:47 PM']
she told me that they WOULD NOT allow me to go in with him...that I would have to wait at the door....she said that he has to show his passport and paperwork...but that the guards would prevent me from going any further....[/quote]

Unless they've changed the rules in the last couple of weeks, this is completely UNTRUE! :no:

It's basically just a large waiting room with a hallway leading off of it. In the hallway are various "windows" where the interviewers sit - picture a bank with the tellers sitting behind the glass. When they call your name you just walk up to window you're called to and talk to them through the glass. There is a little slot at the bottom to slide paperwork into. And like someone else on here said, most of the questions were directed at both of us or just myself (the US citizen). They encourage the US citizen to attend the interview - that's the best "proof of relationship" you can give them :yes:

Try not to listen to all the different rumors you will hear.
[/quote]

Our interview, well I mean "my" interview....Craig wasn't asked ONE THING, oh wait, he asked who "I" was. Then he asked Craig to go sit down and "I" was interviewed. Unfortunately, our interview-er was a complete jack, you know what and obviously was having a BAD day !! When we 1st got to the window and he asked Craig to sign something and sign my name, we didn't have a pen and I asked if he had a pen we could borrow for a minute and he literally THREW his headset down and HUFFED and puffed away....came back and if the glass wasn't there, would have thrown the pen at us. The 2 of us just looked at each other in awe !!! I was given a REALLY hard time about our age difference and my income, but only because HE was reading all the paperwork incompletely!!! I own my own business, so therefore there's 2 separate income tax forms that he HAD to look at (which each year was stapled together AND the inportant information was highlighted--to help the interviewer find my information) and he insisted on ONLY looking at the 1st page!!!

GOOD LUCK and hopefully that guy still doesn't work there OR is having a better day !!!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-10-04 07:48:00

Seems we are all doing the countdown. 29 Days for me and this ordeal will end. I am so ready for it to be over. I guess I should be nervous, but I am just approaching this as calm as I am. After 4 years I figure there is only one happy ending!

Anyway, I am not nervous but my fiance is. She is driving me crazy now wondering what is appropriate attire for the interview and I promised her I will ask. She does not want to dress up liike she is going to some job interview and she does not want to look like she is not taking this seriously. Does anyone has any suggestions? I told my fiance that better to be overdressed than underdressed but she is not buying that. So it anyone has any ideas as to what is appropriate attire for the embassy interview, I would love some advice cause this one I just don't know.

Craig wore dark (nice) black jeans and a nice button down shirt. I wore capri jean pants and a simple top. You definitely see it all and the folks at the window can only see from right above the wasteline -up-.... and my opinion, they aren't there "checking out your clothes". I think clean cut, shaven face...woman, nice makeup (not to much) since they are looking mostly at your face for the interview.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-10-02 10:43:00

I asked this question a couple days ago, but noone responded.....so I'm just checking to see if anyone can give me any type of advice because I've searched and searched and couldn't find any answers....

Is there a "cutoff" date for the AOS paperwork? Like WHEN do you **have** to process the paperwork??? We met the "requirements" to get married, but when is the question.

Any help/advise is greatly appreciated !!

kelly

I called the USCIS because we filed a bout a month late. The man told me that there was no rush as long as we were married with in the 90 days, but to do it as soon as possible. I guess that dosen't really answer your question.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend!!!!

THANKS, that info works for me !!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-29 12:29:00

Kelly -- Maybe you should post your question in the 'AOS Forum.' Personally, I have never seen anyone (on VJ) having problems for filing late....as long as you got married within the 90 days I think you will be okay. That being said, I don't think I would wait a year.... :no:

[/quote]

Hey thanks .... I just went onto the AOS info and someone had posted almost the same question ....so I have some more info to go by. There were 2 people on there that didn't file until 2 months after!! We'll be sending our stuff by the middle of Oct....

Thanks!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-29 09:48:00

I asked this question a couple days ago, but noone responded.....so I'm just checking to see if anyone can give me any type of advice because I've searched and searched and couldn't find any answers....

Is there a "cutoff" date for the AOS paperwork? Like WHEN do you **have** to process the paperwork??? We met the "requirements" to get married, but when is the question.

Any help/advise is greatly appreciated !!

kelly

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-28 12:45:00

Miss Kimmy!!! tell Duane...I WANT THEM ALL!!!!!!!! they are sssoo good!! and talk about GREAT Christmas and B-day gifts!! Love it!!!!

Good morning everyone!!

Shauna,

I 2nd that !!! He has unbelievable talent Kim. Gotta work a couple of those into the "budget" !!! I'm having a hard time deciding on which to buy !!!

I forgot to post Craig's 1st adventure to Hershey Park last weekend.....it was a TRIP !!! My mistake in taking him on his FIRST roller coaster, ruined him for almost the entire day. He did "come back down to earth" and get on some others closer to the end of the day. All in all....great time had by all.

Have a great day!

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-28 09:54:00

[quote name='wynterstail' date='Sep 24 2006, 11:21 AM' post='466485']
OH MY GOD! Denied for testing positive for ganja--oh Christ, he'll never get here

Craig IS a smoker (I'm not), so I did a TON of research. If you smoke everyday, it can be in your system for UP to 3 months!!! So STAY CLEAN !!! Trust me.....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-25 12:00:00

I was looking at all the people that are tied to the Jamaican embassy (on embassy info). And there so many people that we never heard from again. I wonder what has happend to them. Maybe some don't even know that there is a network of people in this section. hmmm.

what happend to:

ricardo
Mrs Smith
Eric D
Miss Thickness
Leos Champion
Neveryourstokeep (aka Rita)

just to name a few

Mrs Parker too !!! I would love to know the status of Eric's case...

Any plans for the weekend?

A client of mine gave me 4 tickets to go to Hershey Park (that expire Sunday), so we're gonna check it out tomorrow. I haven't been there in yeeeears. Craig "says" he's going to ride EVERY ride....we'll see

Hope everyone is having a nice day and has a nice weekend!

Jamie, good to see ya 'round

How are your babies?

Kelly

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-22 12:32:00

ROFL, the showing him how to close the ziplock bag! Oh my, omigosh. This is what I was trying to say several months back when I was talking bout showing my husband EVERY LITTLE THING.

He wouldnt even try, he would just throw up his hands and say "I dunno how ta do dat". I had been showing him, but if he didnt know how, he would do this, instead of looking things over and trying to figure it out. Finally, I snapped one day when I was really tired and he had been helping clean, and I told him the vacuum cleaner bag needed to be changed. He did this typical lil childish fit..throwin his hands up and starting to walk off when I let him have it. This is basically what I said...I didnt bruise his ego with it, but I did kinda talk a lil more loudly than normal for sure. I said somethin like "Lake, you are SUCH a SMART guy, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why sometimes you cant look things over first, and at least TRY to figure them out!!!!, DaGNABIT!!!! Sometimes its really pretty easy, but PLEASE look at things first!!! Then I told him I DIDNT always know how to do them EITHER, but had to sit down and look things OVER. Then if ya cant figure it out, go ahead and have YOUR FIT!!!! Then its okay to!

I have to add that after that, now he really tried to stop and figure things out, and I cant think of one time since then that he hasnt been able to. I am so proud of him.

I checked (this morning after he left for work) to see if he closed up the zip lock bags (of lunchmeat) .....and he DID !!!!! I was in total shock that he actually TRIED on his own today.

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-21 11:28:00

AOS paperwork....

What's the **latest** any of you guys have filed? I know Jonesie sent paperwork in late....but just wanted to check with you guys because after going over our "finances" that's going to become an issue and I'm freakin out !!

Thanks for any help ........

Kelly :help:

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-21 11:07:00

I'm lucky -- I don't have this to deal with BUT -- one of the hardest things is dealing with relatives or friends that are already here in the U.S. I have read lots of "#######" here on VJ about what they "pump" into our SO's heads.....in a way, they are like little children -- they are very impressionable.....

Oh, extremely impressionable. I mean having to show Craig how to close up a zip lock bag yesterday....come on, just TRY to figure things out for yourself. He has "no time" for that and I'm like you HAVE to make the time to figure out things for yourself, or you'll NEVER learn them for yourself!!! Working has helped with ALOT of "understanding", especially in the business that he's doing. If he screws up someones order....that would be the end of his job.

Okay, now I'm outta here.....late for the part-time gig...

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-21 10:07:00

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer
So true...... The hard part is learing to keep your mouth shut when you really don't want to....

I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation.
When Roy first got here he was making dinner every night. I would come home and there he would be in the kitchen......as time went by, he stopped. I come home after working all day and I have to ask him what he wants then I have to start cooking. I think it has something to do with him being the man and me being the woman.....I do get pissed but....I have also learned to "not sweat the small stuff."

Kim -- Can't wait for Grey's and the shirts!!

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen"
Kelly -- I don't know if it's that they didn't listen....I think they could never (in their wildest dreams) imagine how it would really be once they got to America. Look where they came from and what their "normal" day (in Jamaica) consisted of.....talk about culture shock.

This is hard. Really, really hard. You are dealing with a grown man who is experiencing things like he is a little kid. Can you imagine if you were suddenly "dropped" into the middle of Jamaica and had to learn to "fend for yourself?" How about going from no indoor plumbing or water.....to a dishwasher and garbage disposal. Just the little things can be so huge.....

I think we (sometimes) forget that we need to cut them a little slack.....

I completely "get it", but Craig has ALOT of relatives that live in the states and have been here for yeeeeears and he said THEY have even talked about how things are here, amazing how the appliances are, I've explained that too......but, it just sucks that they "think" that reality is what they see (movies or cable) and hear from others that have been here (or what they've heard or THINK that "they" know) and we have to reprogram that.

Plus, like Kim (and many others), that are raising a child (or children) on our own.....it's frustrating to have a "grown" child. It does wear on you day after day after day and yes, this entire scenario takes ALOT of patience, but we are human ....I sometimes think that Craig "expects" me to be Ms Happy ALL day, every day and run around with my head chopped off and be superwoman. Come Friday, I'm emotional and physically drained from the week. We sometimes watch the show Wife Swap and I've told him that I'm going to sign him up for Husband Swap just so that he could truly appreciate everything that "I" do and go through each day !!

My uncle has a beachhouse, not glamourous by any means. Us kids were fortunate to spend our summers there with my grandparents. We had no airconditioning, well water that you did NOT drink from and an out house ....it's still that way today. They've built up the outside and the houses around his house are reeeeeeally nice, but all the same things still apply. I've talked to Craig over and over again about these experiences that I've had. Scrubbing clothes with that iron thing (that they have in Jamaica). I'm not new to the things in Jamaica. I've been going to Jamaica for 10 yrs and although my belongings are at a hotel, I'm alllllllll over the place. I have alot of friends whose houses I've visited and such.....

luvtravlin

Female

Jamaica

2006-09-21 10:01:00