ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Hey mommies, when will I be able to feel the baby move or kick? I thought I felt something the other day, but all my books say it's too soon. Maybe it was just gas :lol:

We have an appt. on July 20 to (hopefully) find out the sex.



I felt rumblings of my son move at about 4 months. Then he just would NOT stop. When you're active, baby is quiet when your quiet, baby is active. My son was WIDE awake everyday at 4am. I would jump on my bicycle and go riding to put him back to sleep. I rode my bicycle all the way up to the day before he made his entrance. He had me on such a weird schedule. My son was a kicker !!!! I guess that's why he's such a good soccer player today ;o)
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-28 09:45:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

It's 4.5 million americans waiting on their passports !!! What a mess !!

Kelly - With the "status page" and her birth cert will that be enough for her to travel? I'm not going w/her, she will be traveling alone.

I read on some travel website that Jamaica is letting people travel there as long as they have proof that they applied for a passport - even if they haven't gotten the passport yet. You also need some form of ID that matches the name on the passport app. Like Kelly said, the passport back-up is really hurting the travel industry.



I have clients that just left yesterday, they hadn't received their passports back and they were leaving the country with just their proof page (from the passport site) and I highly recommended they take birth certificates, even though they are saying it is *not* required. Just a government issued photo ID. I would take all proof, because you never know who you could run into at the airport, airline or immigration and they've had a bad day and take it out on the traveler !!!

The U.S. Departments of State and Homeland Security announced Friday, June 8, that U.S. citizens traveling to Canada, Mexico, Bermuda or countries in the Caribbean region, have applied for, but not yet received passports, can re-enter the United States by air. This accommodation does not mean that Americans are exempt from meeting the entry requirements of Canada, Mexico, Bermuda or countries in the Caribbean region, some of which require a passport (like Barbados, Bermuda and Costa Rica), certified birth certificate, or other evidence of citizenship for entry.

U.S. citizens traveling to Canada, Mexico, Bermuda or countries in the Caribbean region who have applied for, but not yet received passports, can re-enter the United States by air by presentation of a government issued photo identification and Department of State official proof of application for a passport through September 30, 2007. The federal government is making this accommodation for air travel due to longer than expected processing times for passport applications in the face of record-breaking demand.

Children under the age of 16 traveling with their parents or legal guardian will be permitted to travel with the child’s proof of application status.

**Children traveling alone should carry a copy of their birth certificate, baptismal record or a hospital record of birth in the United States in addition to their passport application status documentation.

Once your application is in process with the U.S. Department of State (which could take up to 7 to 10 days to track online).

Go to Checking the Status of Your Application and follow the instructions to print out your passport status page. Keep this status page with you during your entire trip for both exit from the U.S. and re-entry to the U.S.

This ####### with passports is hurting travel outside of the US ....I've been slammed with travel for within the US, but ....99% of my clients rather leave the country !!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-28 09:41:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Kelly - With the "status page" and her birth cert will that be enough for her to travel? I'm not going w/her, she will be traveling alone.
[/quote]

The one thing that I *highly* suggest when my clients travel is to have a notarized letter from the "other 1/2" (if his name is on the birth certificate), allowing her to leave the country, etc etc. I have a great authorization form if you'd like me to email it to you.

The airline and/or immigration may never ever ask for it, but .....if you don't produce it, she could be denied, especially with all of the craziness with the passports and the hold up at security.

My sons name is not on the birth certificate and when we traveled to Cancun one time the agent gave me a really hard time for not having any documentation -- meanwhile, she was looking at my BC not my sons --goofball!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-27 14:33:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

In regards to Kelly's reply..We got my daughters passport 1 wk b4 our travel date, just had to pay extra $60 I think. I had to go to a regional center to it, If i had mailed it in, I wouldn't have gotten it back in time..but see what ur closest regional center is call to make an appt and get there. We went 9am say Wednesday and it was in the mail Thursday afternoon.



Yep, it's an extra $60 to expedite it.... but just read up on the passport government site. It's 4.5 million americans waiting on their passports !!! What a mess !!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-26 18:45:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

In regards to Kelly's reply..We got my daughters passport 1 wk b4 our travel date, just had to pay extra $60 I think. I had to go to a regional center to it, If i had mailed it in, I wouldn't have gotten it back in time..but see what ur closest regional center is call to make an appt and get there. We went 9am say Wednesday and it was in the mail Thursday afternoon.



Yep, it's an extra $60 to expedite it.... but just read up on the passport government site. It's 4.5 million americans waiting on their passports !!! What a mess !!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-26 18:45:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Just to be on the safe side, I would go to family court and get declared the sole guardian so in the future you won't have this problem..



Thanks Jengles but I don't want to do that. He is willing to help just can't. It's' complicated.



Also please keep in mind that the processing for new passports is taking approximately 12-14 weeks. Once you apply, you will need to wait up to 10 days for the information to even get into the Passport system to be able to print out your information proving that she can still travel without her passport. You won't need her birth certificate, but I would highly recommend having one, just in case. I've had 2 clients in the past month contact our Senators office within a week of traveling because they hadn't received their passports and the office was able to "push it through".

HOPEFULLY the bill will pass (well, it has passed) but they are trying to extend passport stuff till Jan 2009. I'm praying, it's putting a HUGE damper on the travel industry --bigtime !!! Shoot "I" don't even have my passport ! My sons fathers name isn't on the birth certificate (not in the picture...never has been), but a good friend of mine is also a notary. I dread going through all that ####### for my son to get his passport.

Good luck to you!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-26 17:55:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

One thing that I really don't hear many people talking about in this thread is the stigma associated with Jamaicans and them doing anything for their opportunity. This may be something that was previously discussed but I may have not joined at that time. I'm just really curious to know what people's thoughts are about this particularly topic. Honestly speaking, I'm pretty confident that my fiance is with me an only me and not only looking for the opportunity but there is always that negative thought of it not working out (due to my pessimistic thinking). Of course many of us wouldn't complete this process if we had an incline. The way that I look at it is: There are many marriages that do not work out even when they meet here from their own country! My main reason for asking is because many of my family members and friends are against my current relationship. Yes I'm grown but their opinions do matter to me. And get this, all of my family members and friendsare Jamaican. Their mindset is that they will not provided the opportunity for someone to come up off of them. Now me personally, I can't just assume that everyone is the same.

My experience prior to this relationship is that I did run into a Gigolo in Jamaica at margaritaville by the name of Tony (Aston Brooks) and it just amazed me how some people really choose to live their lives. It obviously didn't last too long because my gut feeling told me the truth about him but if I would have allowed to happen it would have. I was so hurt when it all came out but just the audacity of many people out here is mind boggling. I prayed to god that he would send me signs to take me away from Tony and he did. He sent many of them.

I'm just asking that you all shed some of your thoughts by response. Besides this thread needs some excitement. Thanks



If you read back on pages from April (I think) and maybe pages 30-40-ish....from part 4 there was lots of talk about stuff. Yes, alot couldn't take the "mean" things a very few were saying and we lost ALOT of "veterans" (that have been on here for 2 or more years. I would say 99% of us on the VJ site are **with** Jamaicans and the relationship(s) we talk about are with **our** Jamaican man or woman and how we have dealt with our adversities and challenges within our "own" Jamaican/American relathionships. Some, took that as being "personal", but .....we are being honest about what we have personally been through within *our* own relathionship. "I" personally LOVE to have the "real deal" told to me. I **wish** there were folks that would have shared with me the honest truth about their relationships when I was in the midst of bringing Craig here. Shoot, I WISH there were those on here that would share their *real* stories (that aren't together) to be able to help some that just lurk around.

Craig and I have been through ALOT (as most) and more than I ever imagined and actually have ever been through with any other relationship. My parents and family members have no idea about Craig and our almost 3 yr relationship.....nor will I share with them because I'm not going to subject me, my son or Craig to all of their negativity, especially with all of the ####### that we've been through.....just not going to deal with it. My cousin who I've been close to since we were born, doesn't "agree" with our relationship, and it's very unfortunate that we just don't communicate any more....for over a yr now.

Like Rhonda, I'm white....but there's an age difference between me and Craig. Craig HAS changed ***ALOT*** being here (and not all for the better) and we've had many challenges within our marriage.

I am one to chat about my personal relationship......I'm not scurred to tell what we've been through, but I too know ALOT that I've met on here in the past 2 yrs that have not made it, or are still having "issues/problems", but won't share their stories. I do truly admire those relationships (on here) that have nothing but positive things happen to them.

All I say is...................things happen for a reason!!! Be real....share.....trust me, it helps !!! If someone asks for advice/opinions and it may be a little *to real*....we're just trying to help, shed light, whatever you want to call it.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-25 10:25:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

the kittens are much bigger and VERY rambunctious. this is the stage that i hate! they are wild, yet comedic- climbing curtains, attacking your feet in the middle of the night, and knocking things over.

also, a general rule with litterboxes is to have one for each cat plus one additional.

I could never have a cat :no: I can't stand the thought of the poop sitting there INSIDE my house stinky and gross :wacko: I'd much rather have a dog who does his business OUTSIDE. Then Tony shovels it up once a week when he cuts the lawn :whistle:

Do your cats tear up your furniture or do you get them de-clawed? I know they like to scratch everything.



Rhonda-girl....what in the world are you going to do with a baby that has diarrhea? I would change a hundred litter boxes than go through the changing of diapers! My litterboxes / apartments doesn't smell. I've had comments from people that say, I didn't even know you had any cats. Every couple of days I scoop out the poop and throw it in the toilet (just like you would scoop up dog poop). I use different products to make the litter smell "fresh". I've used allll kinds of litter brand products, but the best I've found that works for my boys is Fresh Step. It's a little more expensive, but it works better than what I've used in the past.

When I moved back from Arizona in 94 (and moved in with my parents briefly), my mother "made" me get my big cat declawed, sucked because he never used his claws to scratch furniture. The little sometimes tries to, put I've sprayed the areas and/or put a blanket over that part of the couch and that works from him scratching. I also bought this thing that's on the ground with a ball in it, that has a scratching thing in the middle and it's the 1st thing he touches when he gets up in the morning....to scratch.

Jax, depending on the kitten (than cat food) you buy ---wet and/or dry....or both will determine how much it will cost you monthly and how many shots they'll need (in the beginning) and where you get them from if they have been spayed or neutered. My big cat has only eaten dry food and the little one has dry plus canned (only Friskies shredded---he's WAY picky!!). The big cat gets to lick the (almost) empty can of food.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-25 10:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

the only time i've never had a pet was during college when i lived in the dorms. i've always had both dogs and cats. cats are much easier and are a better choice if you live a busy life.

belwin i can imagine your intrepidation since you're not an animal person. i agree with luv about the cat & kitten combo. you'll want to make sure they'll get along because some cats can be real bullies. i have a 7 yr old cat that stayed outdoors for years, and then when the weather got sub-zero i felt sorry for her and let her inside. then a few months ago i took 2 littermates in. at first they were so little they had to climb into their food bowl just to eat. it goes without saying that the older cat was very resentful toward the new additions. she'd growl and hiss everytime they came near, but never lashed out at them. now they've learned to tolerate eachother. the older cat basically ignores them. the kittens are much bigger and VERY rambunctious. this is the stage that i hate! they are wild, yet comedic- climbing curtains, attacking your feet in the middle of the night, and knocking things over.

when you get kittens you have to prepare yourself for their wild phase. you have to set limits for them. the easiest way to do it is with a spray bottle. so if you don't want them climbing curtains, running across the table, or attempting to eat off your plate just give them a squirt.

also, a general rule with litterboxes is to have one for each cat plus one additional. i've heard that some cats will refuse to use a litterbox if another cat is using it although i've never encountered that problem. i have three cats and a 1,000 sq ft house. 4 litter boxes is kinda pushing it. so i have 2 of them and i sift out the clumps every few days. the best thing i've ever done for a litterbox is get a rubbermaid storage container and cut a hole in the lid. this gives the cat pleny of privacy and having all 4 sides enclosed with a hole on top for entry/exit really cuts down on mess as well as odor. not to mention it's so much cheaper to buy a $4 tote from Big Lots instead of the fancy $20 litterboxes with a lid.



Oh, you should see my 2 cats now....I just got home and they were wrapped in each other....literally sleeping. They LICK each other to death....it's really so darn cute. Both (born) males....but fixed. I had only 1 litter box and they were both fine with it, but I was having to clean it every 5 days, so I got another one. They both share each others....it's funny it's like they are waiting in line for the bathroom sometimes, one will wait and when one comes out the other goes in. I would LOVE to train them to go on the toilet, but I know my big one could never ever jump up that far (too darn big).

Spray bottles never worked, my cats LOVE the water. The one knows (and goes by) my commands for "no"...the other one I used to use a water gun.

Kittens......just like small children (or puppies, etc).....they get into everything and are very curious, but absolutely HILARIOUS to watch, especially if you have 2 (or more)!!!

Also....if you are getting cats/kittens out of the paper, make sure they weren't outdoor kittens or barnyard, they are really hard to maintain. Adopting them from the petstore (like Petsmart)...there is an actual adoption "agency" right in the store. I adopted Boris (my likkle one) for $75.00. The older one (Pippen) was found in an engine of a car ....and was TOTALLY wild at first and mellowed out with age.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-23 15:16:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Cool Kelly thanks. We are thinking about getting a cat and one kitten. I will be done with work by July 4th and Dwain is here every day just chillin until school starts.
[/quote]


Just gotta be careful with a "cat" and a kitten. Depending on the temperment of the older cat....if he/she is aggressive or not. My big cat is THE most mellow cat out there. He gets along with all cats, dogs any type of other animal. Kittens want to play ALL of the time and you would just have to watch for how the bigger one acts out.....unless they grew up together.

Craig was TOTALLY freaked out with the idea of 2 cats (saw pictures of them before he arrived) and when he got here........it took him about a month to actually get used to the idea of the bigger one sleeping in the same bed and being alllll lovey/dovey. My bigger cat is also a "licker" every time you pet him he has to lick. Craig can't believe that my cats come when you call them, sit for food and lay down when I tell them to. You should see them now. I'll load up a picture on yahoo..... the 2 cats and Craig, if only his friends and family could see him... :no:

Litter box .....WAY easier than getting up at 6am take the dog out, pick up the dog stuff in a bag.....ugh. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love dogs, but ....it's soooo much easier to change a box once a week (or week 1/2).

Another great thing with cats (not so much kittens), but when you go away, you don't have to watch them. I got the bigger one a time released food dispenser (got it at Petco) called Petmate, it works great! My little one is SOOOO darn picky with food and **has** to have wet food plus the dry stuff.

Any other cat/kitten questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Gosh the weather is absolutely goooorgeous here this weekend, heading off to drop my son off at a pool party.

CONGRATS Sonshyne... (L)

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-23 12:57:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Are any of you cat owners? Dwain and I are thinking about buying a cat. I have never owned an animal in my life. Should we buy one or two? What is the cost to take care of kittens? We saw some cute ones yesterday at Pet Smart. He wants one or two because he had three back home. I am just nervous. :help: To all the animal owners.
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I am..... LOVE THEM, but I love all animals. I've had my one cat for almost 14 yrs. He's about 30 (or so) lbs....he's the size of a small dog. He's all black with a white tummy and white paws. The other one (all black--except for 5 white hairs on his chest) is 4 yrs old....I adopted him when he was a kitten from Petsmart. Cats are low maintenance (when they get out of their kitten stage).... funny as ALL get out !!!! I would recommend getting 2, especially if noone will be around in during the day. Both of my cats are really really lovable (raised them that way ;o).

I grew up with a Pug for 17 yrs (my parents gave him to me when I was 7)....
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-06-22 16:44:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (Jomo @ Sep 10 2007, 12:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Sep 10 2007, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
mi woulden vex cuz him knoa sey him blaze an im nuh tell yuh a ting...juss let yuh gwaan fret and pray dat him likkle confessian tuh 7 year ago ting nuh stop oonu progress. BC...Mi knoa yuh vex tuh raass...why him neva chat wan next yaardie fe knoa ah nuh joke ting? CHA!!!!!! mad.gif mad.gif

Qwestian fe hennybady...whaa mek dem nuh deny visa agen afta tree year time cuz dem knoa sey dem did ban fe drug use before? If dem ban sum fe eva using ganja...ow yuh fe knoa yuh eva get tru when de ban did lift? Dem require completian of some AA class are sumting?


That is actually a great question. Has anyone gotten a visa after a 3 year ban?


Didn't Eric Dewery (sp?) ??? but we haven't heard or seen him since she was approved. All the others that I knew (except for Belly's Girl) haven't stayed together after the denial. I know I would have if we hadn't paid off the Lab supervisor when Craig's was positive --but never reached the Embassy. SO they all say ???? I'll never ever know the truth....





QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Sep 10 2007, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ Sep 10 2007, 12:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Sep 10 2007, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
mi woulden vex cuz him knoa sey him blaze an im nuh tell yuh a ting...juss let yuh gwaan fret and pray dat him likkle confessian tuh 7 year ago ting nuh stop oonu progress. BC...Mi knoa yuh vex tuh raass...why him neva chat wan next yaardie fe knoa ah nuh joke ting? CHA!!!!!! mad.gif mad.gif

Qwestian fe hennybady...whaa mek dem nuh deny visa agen afta tree year time cuz dem knoa sey dem did ban fe drug use before? If dem ban sum fe eva using ganja...ow yuh fe knoa yuh eva get tru when de ban did lift? Dem require completian of some AA class are sumting?


That is actually a great question. Has anyone gotten a visa after a 3 year ban?


Didn't Eric Dewery (sp?) ??? but we haven't heard or seen him since she was approved. All the others that I knew (except for Belly's Girl) haven't stayed together after the denial. I know I would have if we hadn't paid off the Lab supervisor when Craig's was positive --but never reached the Embassy. SO they all say ???? I'll never ever know the truth....


That was that "I" would NOT have stayed and waited the 3 yrs !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-10 12:03:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (JA Tam @ Sep 10 2007, 12:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Sep 10 2007, 11:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, it is really to bad that my parents are the way they are and "I" know I can never change them. Gave that up a loooong time ago. My son says it never ever bothers him, he just ignores it. He knows that it is their ignorance. I tell him all the time, if they ask "if Mommy has someone special in my life"....tell them about Craig, but in reality...they never ever will and haven't up to this point. My parents aren't really "involved" in my life, never have been. The only time I really see them is sometimes at my sons soccer games (once a wk) and then we don't even sit near each other. I drop him off at their house and sometimes I go in and mingle. I do their travel, they are my "clients". That's about it.

My son, during the summer, mows their lawn once a week, makes $20 a pop, saves his money and buys stuff (that I won't buy...expensive shoes, games, etc) and that's when my dad will take him. My dad and my son are close to a degree.....doesn't ever take him places, ever. I think they went to the movies 3-4 yrs ago??

But....hey everyone..........I am USED to how they treat me and trust me "I" HATE IT with a passion. It does make me angry because "I" have had to struggle my entire life and my brother n sister, have been given everything to them and have not had to struggle. I don't let it get to me and I don't express those feelings in front of my son. I do tell him that we will never have that type of relationship and that if he ever need to talk to me or turn to me for anything, I will always be there for him. I will love him no matter what. I am a strong person and my sons sees that I am a good and caring person, NOT fake and materialistic like my sister and brother!! I do my best *not* to expose my son to the ignorance (from my family) as MUCH as possible. My son feels loved, truly loved --a love that "I" never had from my parents....and a different kind of love from Craig (that's still a work in progress) that he's never had from a man in my life. I have tons of guys friends, so he's had lots of *positive* male role models around.

No worries.....I'm (we) are all good !! good.gif

Kelly

Kelly - more power to you. I wish you the best and since you and Craig have an understanding as to how his relationship with the in-laws may never be, then so be it. I am sure it's hard on you guys and I am happy that despite the doctrine that was in your home as a child, it didn't shadow who you have become.
I still hold out hope that your relationship will be a beacon for change from your parents. It's apparent that you are strong and continue fighting the good fight, no matter the reactions that you may encounter. Best of luck to you good.gif


Thank you....I appreciate it. I also truly believe that if I hadn't found VJ and met truly wonderful women/men on here, I KNOW I would have lost it long ago !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-10 11:14:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (Jonesie @ Sep 10 2007, 11:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Sep 9 2007, 08:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmmmm Jonesie, how do I respond to this.....

Well, I do look at this from Craig's side, we talk about it often. There are some family members of Craig's family that don't know he's married and those that do, His father for one is VERY racist against whites --doesn't like them, as well as his 2 aunts oh dear....and some cousins that all live in Philly an hour from us and don't "want" to meet me. I've said to Craig, if I ever met them....that's okay, if not I will never lose sleep over it, it doesn't bother me at all.

I just asked Craig about this, again....and he said at first it did bother him, but now he sees my parents and I are not close and knows we've never been and he sees how they truly are and he doesn't want to get to know them. He sees them close to my son and he said it would crush him to put Austin through all of that ####### if they found out. He said, we don't need that negativity in our life. I agree completely............sucks, but that's how it is !

My parents didn't even know I was pregnant with my son until 4 months after he was born because we hadn't spoken to each other in 2 yrs. My sister told my mother and my mother kept it from my father. We do not tell each other we love each other (I don't feel that way towards them at all) and I couldn't even tell you the last time either said it to me. When either of us go away, we don't say we'll miss each other.....ever. The relationship that my parents have with my brother and sister, completely different. They also tell my son that they love him every phone conversation and in person because I told my parents looooong ago, do NOT treat him like you have treated me !!!

My son has had my parents tell him last summer not to bring "those kinds of people over to their house" to go swimming. I am teaching MY son that color does not make the person....and I laugh, ALL of my sons friends are black and one is black/japanese and yes, I choose to live a "double life" because "I" do not want my son to be subjected --every time he would go to their house to have my parents say rude and ignorant things to him about Craig and trust me.........that WOULD happen. The say the "n" word not even knowing Craig!!!

As an interracial couple, trust me........we get looks, stares, roll of eyes from TONS of black people (mostly women) here..........sad, truly sad !!!


Too bad your son has to be exposed to his grandparents hatred and ignorance. Even in this day and age, there are those set in their ways. You can't change how they think (as they say, can't teach an old dog new tricks) but because your parents are not his parents, you have a choice as to what he is exposed to. With Craig's family, if they don't agree with it that's fine, but they aren't as involved in your lives as with your parents.

You're right - color does not make the person but not everyone is raised to see it that way. When we are cut we all bleed red blood. Does your son ever tell you how his grandparents comments affect him?

I'm sure you get the looks from some black women. Hell, I get looks from black women and I'm black. I also get them from other races - both hubby and I are black. As soon as they hear him talk and they notice the accent the looks get even more intense. I just brush that off my shoulders and keep steppin because they don't pay our bills or mean anything to us.



Yes, it is really to bad that my parents are the way they are and "I" know I can never change them. Gave that up a loooong time ago. My son says it never ever bothers him, he just ignores it. He knows that it is their ignorance. I tell him all the time, if they ask "if Mommy has someone special in my life"....tell them about Craig, but in reality...they never ever will and haven't up to this point. My parents aren't really "involved" in my life, never have been. The only time I really see them is sometimes at my sons soccer games (once a wk) and then we don't even sit near each other. I drop him off at their house and sometimes I go in and mingle. I do their travel, they are my "clients". That's about it.

My son, during the summer, mows their lawn once a week, makes $20 a pop, saves his money and buys stuff (that I won't buy...expensive shoes, games, etc) and that's when my dad will take him. My dad and my son are close to a degree.....doesn't ever take him places, ever. I think they went to the movies 3-4 yrs ago??

But....hey everyone..........I am USED to how they treat me and trust me "I" HATE IT with a passion. It does make me angry because "I" have had to struggle my entire life and my brother n sister, have been given everything to them and have not had to struggle. I don't let it get to me and I don't express those feelings in front of my son. I do tell him that we will never have that type of relationship and that if he ever need to talk to me or turn to me for anything, I will always be there for him. I will love him no matter what. I am a strong person and my sons sees that I am a good and caring person, NOT fake and materialistic like my sister and brother!! I do my best *not* to expose my son to the ignorance (from my family) as MUCH as possible. My son feels loved, truly loved --a love that "I" never had from my parents....and a different kind of love from Craig (that's still a work in progress) that he's never had from a man in my life. I have tons of guys friends, so he's had lots of *positive* male role models around.

No worries.....I'm (we) are all good !! good.gif

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-10 10:59:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Sounds like these situations are a bit different.

Kelly, how would you feel if your husband said that his family is prejudiced against white American women and no one in his family knew that you two were married? Try looking at things from his point of view. In marriage husband and wife are to unite as one unit, and I understand you say your parents are very racist but it sounds like you are living your life to please them and your "husband" has been put on the back burner. Your parents don't have to accept him but you are not doing the marriage or him as man any respect whatsoever. You don't want your son subjected to their ways but he's living a double life acting as if you are not married and living with Craig, but when he comes home he has to treat Craig as a stepfather. What kind of values are you teaching him?

As a black person in this country, it is hard enough to deal with racism on a daily basis, but to come home to one's own spouse and feel like there is no support from that person (ex: this situation) I can imagine that feels even worse.

It's not about you trying to change who your parents are, but to give this marriage what it deserves, and that's a fair chance. Why have your parents find out by accident that he lives with you/you two are married, when you can tell them up front. Won't your son be subjected to the same negativity either way? Just think about how you would feel if you moved to Jamaica and you had to deal with this situation.
[/quote]

Hmmmm Jonesie, how do I respond to this.....

Well, I do look at this from Craig's side, we talk about it often. There are some family members of Craig's family that don't know he's married and those that do, His father for one is VERY racist against whites --doesn't like them, as well as his 2 aunts oh dear....and some cousins that all live in Philly an hour from us and don't "want" to meet me. I've said to Craig, if I ever met them....that's okay, if not I will never lose sleep over it, it doesn't bother me at all.

I just asked Craig about this, again....and he said at first it did bother him, but now he sees my parents and I are not close and knows we've never been and he sees how they truly are and he doesn't want to get to know them. He sees them close to my son and he said it would crush him to put Austin through all of that ####### if they found out. He said, we don't need that negativity in our life. I agree completely............sucks, but that's how it is !

My parents didn't even know I was pregnant with my son until 4 months after he was born because we hadn't spoken to each other in 2 yrs. My sister told my mother and my mother kept it from my father. We do not tell each other we love each other (I don't feel that way towards them at all) and I couldn't even tell you the last time either said it to me. When either of us go away, we don't say we'll miss each other.....ever. The relationship that my parents have with my brother and sister, completely different. They also tell my son that they love him every phone conversation and in person because I told my parents looooong ago, do NOT treat him like you have treated me !!!

My son has had my parents tell him last summer not to bring "those kinds of people over to their house" to go swimming. I am teaching MY son that color does not make the person....and I laugh, ALL of my sons friends are black and one is black/japanese and yes, I choose to live a "double life" because "I" do not want my son to be subjected --every time he would go to their house to have my parents say rude and ignorant things to him about Craig and trust me.........that WOULD happen. The say the "n" word not even knowing Craig!!!

As an interracial couple, trust me........we get looks, stares, roll of eyes from TONS of black people (mostly women) here..........sad, truly sad !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-09 22:11:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
To add, I have on many occassions asked Craig to come to soccer, or wherever and he would/could meet them and he's told me every single time.....he's just not ready. I said, well when you're ready..........be ready for them to be rude !!!! He's met 2 of my cousins (that are cool with everything), but my sister and brother don't even know either.....just because, we are NOT close !!!

It's dysfuntional to the extreme............but..............what family isn't ??!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-09 12:21:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Sep 9 2007, 11:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I just tried responses to everyone...and it didn't post :confused:

I don't think I will re-type it...LOL. Luvtravlin...I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' views. Do you mind if I ask you a question or two? I'm not trying to offend, I am just not familiar with the situation you are in...and if the question is to personal I understand. Is your marriage your first interracial relationship? If not, did your parents react violently (not physically per se) when you told them about the relationship? Is that why you decided not to tell them about your marriage? Does your husband if think your decision not to inform them of your marriage is in a way you being ashamed of him or that he doesn't measure up? How does he feel knowing that your parents will never accept him? If you are not close to your parents, why don't you tell them and done (meaning you take the stance of "I will not deny my husband...but mom and dad your limited and warped views will not mean a hill of beans to me and my family.") How did you keep it from them for 3+ years? I can understand the dating aspect because he was in Jamaica. I'm confused about him being here and they come every now and then to get your son. Does he leave the house or stay in the bedroom?


No offense, ever... to answer the questions ...

I've never been married. Child out of wedlock, father not in the picture (his choice). This is not my 1st interracial relationship and my parents don't know about my previous ones and one I was with him for over a year. Another one, my parents knew him, met him (professional soccer player), he came to my sons bday party.....not ONCE did my parents question whether or not we were "a couple". My last relationship 6 yrs ago, my parents didn't know that I was with that guy for almost 4 yrs.....they didn't care. He was puerto rican/american. Craig did not, at 1st, understand why. We had maaaaaaaany talks about the entire situation before he came here and that he would most likely NOT meet them for quite awhile. Our relationship has been very rocky (other issues) and I've told him that "we" need to be secure in our marriage in order to meet my ignorant/racist parents. I won't say anything to them because of how they will treat my son (their only grandson) and I know them, they will say all kinds of ignorant stuff N this and N that in front of my son. My son said he would just ignore it, but I told him....it WILL affect him. When my parents have come to the house, Craig wasn't here or my son meets them outside. My son TOTALLY knows how they are because they treat ALL of his african american friends the exact same way!!!!

I am not close to them.....never ever have been. It's a very very fake relationship. I can't change my parents views, although I've tried to "open their eyes", they will die being ignorant !!! One of my best friends (guy) is black.....they never even acknowledge him when they are in the same room!!

Trust me...........it is hard to have parents like the ones "I" have, I envy other relationships that have understanding and compassionate parents...........mine, unfortunately are NOT like that !!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-09 12:15:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (JA Tam @ Sep 7 2007, 06:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (nyseness @ Sep 7 2007, 05:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We also got married in the pastor's office. Although I love being married I do feel cheated a bit. We want a "real" wedding so we will do it once he arrives later on in front of friends and family. The date won't be set until he arrives. My mom is already gushing over it and she has nooooo idea we're already married!! no0pb.gif

Anna, are you ever going to tell your mom? Yeah, you need to save face and have that ceremony yes.gif



Shoot, my parents still have no clue about my relationship with Craig and it will be 3 yrs come November....nor will they if we can help it !!! They have never ever asked me if I'm dating anyone, ever. They don't care to know who is in my life, we aren't and never have been "close". They STILL treat me like I'm a 14 yr old sometimes, it's really sad!! My parents are veeeery racist. I LAUGHED and got real pissed at my mother last weekend when she said she would NEVER see the movie Hairspray because "whites and blacks dance together". I said, so who the f**k cares?? and went on to vent a little more and tell her how I feel (again) about her ignorance. I asked her when is she EVER going to "get it" that it is not the persons SKIN COLOR who makes them WHO they are, etc etc etc!!! It's pathetic, truly is ....but this is what I've had to put up with "my" entire life. I don't live for my parents, but ....I also don't need for my son to be subjected to their ignorance and cruelty if (and when) they find out !! We only live 6 miles from each other, but they never come over my place.... well, only to pick up my son every blue moon !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-09 09:45:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (DonnaJay @ Sep 7 2007, 02:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Minfay @ Sep 7 2007, 01:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (DonnaJay @ Sep 7 2007, 11:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would she have a problem getting back into the country with her current K-1 visa? Her visa is dated to expire the end of November.

Unfortunately the K1 Visa is not a "travel" visa -- it's a 'one time entry' into the U.S. You could always try to get an "Emergency AP" but like Kelly said, I have heard some horror stories (here on VJ) about what happens when people try to re-enter.

Your best bet would be to get the actual AP or wait for the Green Card.

When are you planning to file the AOS 'bundle?' And have you checked to see how long the processing times are -- I know Kelly filed at the end of July and her check is not even cashed yet......


Donna and I are discussing this now. I believe we first have to marry before the AOS is filed. We are looking at a late October wedding date. The AOS would be mail soon afterwards. I mentioned to her that some people go to the courthouse and get married after arriving. Later they have a reception for family and friends. This would allow us to get the AOS in sooner. As women how do you feel about having your first marriage at the courthouse? I wonder if she would later feel cheated or bad about doing this. Is it worth saving this time by having a courthouse marriage? I would like a women's perspective on this.


This was my 1st marriage and "I" am personally not into the big wedding thing at all. I wanted small, he wanted big....but we both knew we did not want a court house wedding....for us, just to impersonal. We had a small wedding at our local state park...and one of my friends "married us". Craig could not believe it was real because my friend performed the wedding, even with marriage certificate. He had met her (and stayed with the 2 of us) during our travel agent business trip to Jamaica last April. Our wedding was the 3 of us (me, Craig & my son). Another good friend took awesome pics, a client of mine put together our flowers. It was very very romantic, beautiful weather, short & sweet. Craig does love the fact that we went small (more affordable) and then whenever we can back to Jamaica, that's when we'll have the "real" one at the hotel where we met with friends and family.

If you don't want courthouse....see if there is a minister or something similar that can perform a wedding at your local park, lake, etc etc.

Hope that helps...

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-07 13:54:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (JA Tam @ Sep 7 2007, 12:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (12/11/2006 @ Sep 7 2007, 12:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do you get back more when you file married or less?

I am not so sure. Once Aaron is here, I will change my status to married and I will see what happens at that time. Hopefully one of our VJ veterans can share their thoughts on this unsure.gif


We got back a nice tax refund...but I also own my business? I just send paperwork to my accountant ....
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-07 12:40:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (DonnaJay @ Sep 7 2007, 12:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have been looking at the forms required for AOS. Form I-131, Application for Travel Document is listed. Is this form part of the new I-485? USCIS shows the fee as $305. I am concerned that Donna's mom may need her there in Jamaica before any of this paper work goes through. Would she have a problem getting back into the country with her current K-1 visa? Her visa is dated to expire the end of November.


From what I've read ....the AP is not a total guarantee that she would be able to re-enter. We didn't file for AP....but now you have no choice, everything is "all inclusive" on the K1.....included in the $1010.00

I know when a friend of mine came here 4 yrs ago, his son died about a month after he got here. He filed for an emergency AP (here was here on a K1)...and they gave him alot of ####### coming back in. He said he would prefer never to go through that ever again!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-07 12:37:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (Jomo @ Sep 7 2007, 09:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (rhondapayter @ Sep 7 2007, 03:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Sep 6 2007, 08:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Craig complained for months that America has TOO MANY rules and restrictions.

So ladies (and men) ....just the simple things with not being able to drink a beer and walk up and down the street. Craig used to sit up on along the roadside and he couldn't "understand" why everyone would watch him and give him weird looks. Wearing a seatbelt ALL the time in the car. Keeping ALL the lights and radio on while he wasn't here. I mean the list goes on and on and on and on.

Yes, Tony still complains of all the rules and regulations here in the U.S. And he got so ticked off the first time he figured out that he couldn't just walk out of a bar/club with his beer in his hand wacko.gif (I never thought to warn him about this so he actually tried to do it and had like 3 bouncers chasing after him into the parking lot!) Then he was mad because it was embarassing. There are just so many issues that you will never even think of until they occur. Another funny one is that you can't just whip it out and go to the bathroom in public here no0pb.gif You WILL get a ticket for that. Explain this to your drunk Jamaican who is used to doing just that when the urge strikes!!

I gave up on the battle of leaving all the lights/tv/stereo on. I just turn them off myself. I've learned to choose my battles wisely. It's just not worth it.



Exactly, Rhonda. Pick your battles. It didn't take me long to figure that out.


Yep definitely pick the battles is right.... but now I'll mess with him and say (when the bathroom light is on and he's in another room) ....Is anyone in here? or Is anyone using the bathroom? and he'll kiss his teeth and I just turn off the light or he'll get up and turn it off. It's gotten a likkle better, but, especially when he saw the electric bill and that in Maryland our rates were raised 70%!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-07 10:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
good.gif I totally agree. Although Damien has been here almost 3 years...he is still "adjusting" to the American lifestyle -somewhat. He's always joking about going back to JA because of the rules and manners we follow. We are also still adjusting to being married.....marriage is about compromising.

Damien is probably one of the youngest husbands on here yet he is very mature. I don't have the time to "mother" a grown man. And we respect each other....we wouldn't be together without respect.

Yes, we have issues but nothing major. I have been nothing but honest about our relationship and share our story to everyone who wants to hear.
[/quote]

It just amaaaaazes me that it takes them soooooo long "to adjust" !!! Yes marriage is totally about compromising, but it's been very difficult to be in a marriage/relationship when the SO has never been in a "committed/monogmous" relationship!!!

How about all the times that we have had to teach (retrain) the men to talk to people and not be rude ? Dag....I've walked out of many places or walked away... because I was like, you can NOT talk to people like that. You'll never get anywhere with attitude like that !!! I never ever ever saw Craig be disrespectful to anyone like that before. One time while he was working but this chic CHEWED him out because someone else took out the sailboat (not his fault at all) but he was the only watersport guy standing close. He just kept shaking his head up and down and apologizing. This lady was going craaaazy !!! He handled it soooo well....

Craig is 27 ... but there's a 15 yr age difference between us...
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-07 07:27:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
The lesson of the day is PATIENCE!!!!!!!!

You know how it goes, Kel. Did you think they were going to speed up any in the last 14 months? Now, if we VJers had taken over, of course!

Take a deep breath and move on to something fun and less stressful. Can't do anything about it in the meantime.
[/quote]

Up to July 28th, the cashing of checks has never ever taken 36 days to process. I do understand that they are busy are all get out, but.... I could care less how slow the rest of the process is, it's just that I would like to know that they've got my stuff and I don't want them to come back at me and try to pay the new amount as they have with many many others on VJ (not in this thread)!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-06 10:04:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
How about peeing in the yard, Kel? Did Craig try that? Or walking down the street with the machette?
[/quote]


Nope, no peeing in a yard (or anywhere) or walked down the street with any machettes. My son has jumped out of the car and "couldn't wait" to get inside to pee and went on the side of the aptmt bldg. I was like.....WHAT r u doing !!! He was younger.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-06 10:02:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Hey, Kel.

We talk via PM and you know I adore you; but I am going to argue with your comments just a bit here.

Anyone reading this now who has questions......keep those warnings about Jamaican men in the back of your mind; but they do not pertain to everyone. Kelly is talking about her own experiences and I do believe how hard they have been on her. She is a wonderful person for putting up with all she has.

Andre is not like she describes Craig to me. Oh, sure, he has his issues. But, he was never a playa of any kind and because of that, I do not face any of those kind of issues. Honestly, if I did, he would be gone cause I just don't put up with that stuff. I don't have maturity issues with him. And, he was raised to respect women. In fact, I argue with him that he gives his mother too much respect and benefit of the doubt (That is a whole 'nother story!)

The rules.........Oh, how you brought a smile to my face. We argue that issue all the time. What I do with that is say stuff like......"remember how the Holiday Inn laid you off whenever they felt like it, without warning" or "fired so and so without warning" or..............whatever I can think of......well, they can't do that here. There are laws. I do my best to explain why we have certain rules....pertinent to what he is used to in JA. And, of course, I agree with some of the stupid rules no one will ever understand. He gets it then.

How about peeing in the yard, Kel? Did Craig try that? Or walking down the street with the machette?
[/quote]

No arguing.... and no worries.... at all. Craig is a prince compared to some others that I know of! I personally put my stuff out there because I do know that it helps others know that they are not alone. I do know that there are only a very few that are not playas. None of my guy friends in Jamaica are playa playas and Craig was not like that ever, at least in my face. Like I've said many many times before. Craig changed completely his 3rd week here. Was it drug related (detox), I truly believe so, but also his immaturity on how he choses to deal with things. I also truly believe in Karma !!

k
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-06 09:58:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (DonnaJay @ Sep 6 2007, 10:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (nannygirl82 @ Sep 6 2007, 09:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
jay...
here it is
http://www.visajourn...h...om&page=ssn
i forgot she also needs to fill out a form as well...the link to the form is on this page


Thank you, this is very helpful information. I downloaded the SS-5 application from the SS web site. Page 2, number 3 states, "If you check "Legal Alien Not Allowed to Work," you must provide a document from the U.S. Federal, State or local government agency that explains why you need a Social Security number adn that you meet all of the requirements for the U.S. government benefit. NOTE: Not all U.S. State or local are acceptable for non-work SSN purposes." Donna is here on a K-1 visa. After reading this I wonder why does she need a SS number at this time. She will not be able to work for a while and after we marry, her name will have changed. So, is it really necessary or important that she have a SS number at this time?



Some banks require a SS # to set up an account. For Craig, he needed his SS # PLUS a paystub. Banks, in our area, have become soooo darn strict because of some immigration rule/law now. We got it, it was THE most painless process to date.

I don't see why she would need it now ? You can wait, especially if she's not going to be working for quite awhile.

Well, I called USCIS today--myself, so that "I" could hear them tell me that if your checks haven't been cashed and you haven't received any notices, it could take UP TO 90 days !!! So, here it is...only the 36th day !!! I just want the checks cashed so that "I" know they are working on the application instead of it sitting in a mound of others in the office !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-06 09:17:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
There is absolutely no "technical" part to filing AOS and there's is absolutely no mention of a filing date before then. It is "recommended". TRUST ME, I have done research upon research on this. There are maaaaaany couples from all sorts of countries that have waited well over the "90 day period" and never had problems. Now, for us....OH I'm quite sure we'll have issues, just because that's "my luck" and nothing is ever ever an easy road for me.

You file for AOS so that the SO can be legally working, driving, etc etc.

I look at the whole process like this............as everyone has said this IS a totally and complete, without a doubt adjustment on everyone (in the house). Craig is still adjusting and he's been here 14 months as well. I know some that aren't associated with the VJ site whose SO's have been here 5 yrs and they are still adjusting. Another friend of mine, knowing her man for 9 yrs, than marrying and him being here for 4 yrs and now they are separated because of "adjustment" issues.

Doesn't matter if you live in a rural area, if there are no folks "of color", if there are tons and tons of Jamaican things to see and do, if there are "clubs" (which is not a good suggestion as you are working on a marriage). Craig, himself, has made BAD choices upon bad choices, upon bad choices and mostly............MATURITY is the issue. "I" can't make him grow up, but he has to learn and grow from his F**ups !!! Then you think everything is going great and they get that call from a cousin or "friend" (who is single and/or not in a TRUE marriage) and we start all over!!!!!

I've said it a million times on here in the past, it's how they are raised !! Other cultures "allow" men treat women a certain way, do things & make choices that are "acceptable" in THEIR culture, but no way ....no how would they be accepted here. Craig complained for months that America has TOO MANY rules and restrictions.

I've been traveling to Jamaica for 10 yrs, I've seen just about everything and the "vacation" romances and what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica. The married women that go there just to *have* their way with the jamaican men and alot of times it's been a couple of different men on their trip. The stories Craig tells me about the women that would proposition him at the hotel.....and then him coming here and still thinking that is okay on how to "make money" .................NOT !!!!! I don't know why that on my 20th trip to Jamaica I met Craig and why we ended up together. I've never had a relationship with a caribbean man and it has been THE toughest relationship in my life !!!!! That link that someone just put up in here..... couldn't have been more true !!! Please take time to read it, it's very interesting ! I personally wish I would have heard "bad things" when I was going through this process, but all I ever read was those rosey kind of stories !!

So ladies (and men) ....just the simple things with not being able to drink a beer and walk up and down the street. Craig used to sit up on along the roadside and he couldn't "understand" why everyone would watch him and give him weird looks. Wearing a seatbelt ALL the time in the car. Keeping ALL the lights and radio on while he wasn't here. I mean the list goes on and on and on and on.

Like the other Kelly said.................PATIENCE is key in these relationships. If you yourself are NOT a patient person....you will need to learn real quick !!! If you have issues with "your space" and having things done a certain way, be PATIENT !! Those that have kids already in your home.....be PATIENT !! In alot of ways, you are bring an adult "child" into your home to show him/her alllllll the ways to live the life we all live here in the US.....and patience is totally a virtue !!!

Anyone can PM me anytime if you ever needed to chat in private.

Kelly
[/quote]


On the lighter side of things. Craig is going to be playing indoor soccer ....starting tonight at flippin 11pm ! Just found out 2 days ago they had an opening. He's excited....and nervous (because he doesn't know any of the guys) and has never played indoor. He's been to several indoor games that my son and with the professional team. It's only $60.00 for 10 games. We had to run out and try to find indoor shoes last night !
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-06 09:01:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
I don't agree with this at all no0pb.gif Their K-1 Visa is only good for 90 days - once that expires, they are out of status. You are technically supposed to file for AOS BEFORE the 90 days is up. That's why they say to file immediately after you get married. I know some people have waited, but I don't recommend it.

This is what it says under FAQ for Adjustment of status:

6.1)...How soon after we get married should we apply for Adjustment of Status?

A..Right away, or at least right after your honeymoon. You should make every effort to get the Adjustment application filed within 90 days of the fiance(e) entering the United States, which is when the K-1 status expires, as indicated on the I-94.

Filing for Adjustment of Status within the 90 days protects your legal status. Your legal status as a K1 expires after 90 days, married or not. The only way to protect your legal status is to apply for Adjustment of Status, and the only way to maintain continuous legal status is to file for AOS before the K1 visa expires. On the practical side, it is often difficult to arrange for the marriage, and get all the paperwork ready in time to file for AOS within 90 days. Many newsgroup couples have filed for AOS a few days or weeks after the 90 day limit with no problems. Thus far, newsgroup experience has shown this is not a major issue with local USCIS (INS) offices.
[/quote]

There is absolutely no "technical" part to filing AOS and there's is absolutely no mention of a filing date before then. It is "recommended". TRUST ME, I have done research upon research on this. There are maaaaaany couples from all sorts of countries that have waited well over the "90 day period" and never had problems. Now, for us....OH I'm quite sure we'll have issues, just because that's "my luck" and nothing is ever ever an easy road for me.

You file for AOS so that the SO can be legally working, driving, etc etc.

I look at the whole process like this............as everyone has said this IS a totally and complete, without a doubt adjustment on everyone (in the house). Craig is still adjusting and he's been here 14 months as well. I know some that aren't associated with the VJ site whose SO's have been here 5 yrs and they are still adjusting. Another friend of mine, knowing her man for 9 yrs, than marrying and him being here for 4 yrs and now they are separated because of "adjustment" issues.

Doesn't matter if you live in a rural area, if there are no folks "of color", if there are tons and tons of Jamaican things to see and do, if there are "clubs" (which is not a good suggestion as you are working on a marriage). Craig, himself, has made BAD choices upon bad choices, upon bad choices and mostly............MATURITY is the issue. "I" can't make him grow up, but he has to learn and grow from his F**ups !!! Then you think everything is going great and they get that call from a cousin or "friend" (who is single and/or not in a TRUE marriage) and we start all over!!!!!

I've said it a million times on here in the past, it's how they are raised !! Other cultures "allow" men treat women a certain way, do things & make choices that are "acceptable" in THEIR culture, but no way ....no how would they be accepted here. Craig complained for months that America has TOO MANY rules and restrictions.

I've been traveling to Jamaica for 10 yrs, I've seen just about everything and the "vacation" romances and what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica. The married women that go there just to *have* their way with the jamaican men and alot of times it's been a couple of different men on their trip. The stories Craig tells me about the women that would proposition him at the hotel.....and then him coming here and still thinking that is okay on how to "make money" .................NOT !!!!! I don't know why that on my 20th trip to Jamaica I met Craig and why we ended up together. I've never had a relationship with a caribbean man and it has been THE toughest relationship in my life !!!!! That link that someone just put up in here..... couldn't have been more true !!! Please take time to read it, it's very interesting ! I personally wish I would have heard "bad things" when I was going through this process, but all I ever read was those rosey kind of stories !!

So ladies (and men) ....just the simple things with not being able to drink a beer and walk up and down the street. Craig used to sit up on along the roadside and he couldn't "understand" why everyone would watch him and give him weird looks. Wearing a seatbelt ALL the time in the car. Keeping ALL the lights and radio on while he wasn't here. I mean the list goes on and on and on and on.

Like the other Kelly said.................PATIENCE is key in these relationships. If you yourself are NOT a patient person....you will need to learn real quick !!! If you have issues with "your space" and having things done a certain way, be PATIENT !! Those that have kids already in your home.....be PATIENT !! In alot of ways, you are bring an adult "child" into your home to show him/her alllllll the ways to live the life we all live here in the US.....and patience is totally a virtue !!!

Anyone can PM me anytime if you ever needed to chat in private.

Kelly
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-06 07:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Sep 5 2007, 01:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (nannygirl82 @ Sep 5 2007, 12:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ Sep 5 2007, 09:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (FutureMrs @ Sep 4 2007, 07:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Here's a question for the Yardie vets:

Have any of your fiance's been out of status before filing for AOS? If yes, for how long and were there ANY problems?



Are you thinking money issues, Sarah?

You have a year to file for AOS. The only problem I can think of would be EAD as I'm guessing you will think Marlon needs to work. I don't have the answer on the EAD cause we filed with our AOS. I'm sure someone on here will.

BTW.....got your call over the weekend and yes, I was working. I'm going to call you one night this week to wish you luck on Friday. I'm sure you are just splitting with happiness. I'm excited for you.



Sarah, I'm thinking you should talk to kelly (luvT). I think they just filed for Craig after almost a year (?) I could be wrong, though.

yes they waited a year to file....from what i have heard/read there really is no time limit on when to file...as long as you get married within the 90 days everything is all good...you met your obligations per the k-1 visa..


I've been so darn busy lately that I haven't had time to jump on and see what's been happenin.

Yes, we waited .....it was 1 yr and 1 month, but we waited because I truly didn't think we would be together and then the flippin rates were changing!! There is not an actual deadline to file and trust me I've researched this extensively. As long as you're married within the 90 days of him stepping foot into the US. He will not be able to work "legally" until you file for the EAD, but now ...you can't file for just that, you have to pay for the entire kittenkaboodle which is $1010.00 !! Some have even waited up to the 2 yrs and filed for AOS and had no problems.

If money is the issue, you should never bring that up ever to immigration, because once you file for AOS...and put your name on that dotted line, YOU are "financially" responsible for him for up to 10 yrs. Now, Craig has NO IDEA about this nor will I ever tell him!!


As of today, it's been 35 freakin days..............STILL checks have not been cashed !!! I know they received my package, because I have the name and signature, but that's how far behind they are with the K1's.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-05 12:06:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (nannygirl82 @ Sep 5 2007, 12:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ Sep 5 2007, 09:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (FutureMrs @ Sep 4 2007, 07:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Here's a question for the Yardie vets:

Have any of your fiance's been out of status before filing for AOS? If yes, for how long and were there ANY problems?



Are you thinking money issues, Sarah?

You have a year to file for AOS. The only problem I can think of would be EAD as I'm guessing you will think Marlon needs to work. I don't have the answer on the EAD cause we filed with our AOS. I'm sure someone on here will.

BTW.....got your call over the weekend and yes, I was working. I'm going to call you one night this week to wish you luck on Friday. I'm sure you are just splitting with happiness. I'm excited for you.



Sarah, I'm thinking you should talk to kelly (luvT). I think they just filed for Craig after almost a year (?) I could be wrong, though.

yes they waited a year to file....from what i have heard/read there really is no time limit on when to file...as long as you get married within the 90 days everything is all good...you met your obligations per the k-1 visa..


I've been so darn busy lately that I haven't had time to jump on and see what's been happenin.

Yes, we waited .....it was 1 yr and 1 month, but we waited because I truly didn't think we would be together and then the flippin rates were changing!! There is not an actual deadline to file and trust me I've researched this extensively. As long as you're married within the 90 days of him stepping foot into the US. He will not be able to work "legally" until you file for the EAD, but now ...you can't file for just that, you have to pay for the entire kittenkaboodle which is $1010.00 !! Some have even waited up to the 2 yrs and filed for AOS and had no problems.

If money is the issue, you should never bring that up ever to immigration, because once you file for AOS...and put your name on that dotted line, YOU are "financially" responsible for him for up to 10 yrs. Now, Craig has NO IDEA about this nor will I ever tell him!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-05 12:04:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
and another one...

Press Release as of August 24th..

http://www.uscis.gov...Times082407.pdf
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-03 19:26:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
**OFF TOPIC**

Very interesting....... someone posted this on VJ, when he sent his fiancee packing back to her country and he might now have 2nd thoughts of trying to make it work out....

http://annie8886.wor...ve-relationship
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-03 19:07:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (Jamaica to CT @ Sep 1 2007, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (nannygirl82 @ Sep 1 2007, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (BelwinMills @ Sep 1 2007, 07:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
CONGRATS JAY & SARAH on your SO arrivals!! All the best.


Rhonda Congrats with the house! May everything run smoothly smile.gif. I am glad everything worked out for you guys!

This weekend we aren't doing much we are both under the weather.

JAX.....you are preggo..... CONGRATZ!!!!!!!!!! kicking.gif kicking.gif heart.gif

biggrin.gif good.gif



WOW, Jax.......you likkle booger....hiding it from us !!!! When did you find out???
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-09-01 18:57:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Keep that in mind when you are naming your first-born.
[/quote]

Indeed! I love my Kellys! luv.gif
Would it be okay for a boy's middle name?
[/quote]


Absolutely !!! My sons middle name is Kelley.... my initials are KAF and his are AKF .... then my travel agency name is A&K Travel.... he's the "a" and I'm the "k" smile.gif
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-31 14:42:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (FutureMrs @ Aug 31 2007, 02:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (waynegeraldine @ Aug 31 2007, 10:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
kicking.gif kicking.gif kicking.gif good.gif good.gif good.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

Airpak got it, keeping my fingers waaay crossed that they will get it in Mobay this afternoon. We already have a flight booked for tomorrow, get it there my Airpak friends get it there fast you bastards.

Yeah baby!


OMG! Congrats! good.gif She will be in your arms tomorrow, no worries! Good luck and have a happy and blessed reunion!

I will have Marlon in my arms on September 7, Thanks to Kelly the airline goddess! kicking.gif



You're quite welcome.....my pleasure good.gif
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-31 14:40:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (rhondapayter @ Aug 31 2007, 03:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (12/11/2006 @ Aug 30 2007, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Naah I'm flying US Airways out of Philly. I have never used Air JA. I don't know why but I just haven't.

I've never used them either - they don't even fly out of Detroit. I usually fly Northwest which is my favorite. I've also flown U.S. Air and American to Jamaica. Although after my flight home the other day, I will NEVER fly American again mad.gif



US Airways flies from Detroit to Mobay....not to Kingston. Can't remember which airport you guys fly into. Out of Baltimore I use whoever is the least expensive and that flips between Air Jamaica and US Airways, 9x out of 10, it's US Airways. I flew US Airways and built up frequent flyer miles so much that we (me & my son) got 2 free tickets (well, you pay for the taxes), but frequent flyer miles are nearly impossible to use....

Northwest....ugh, working with them and their group department for the past year ....SUCKED bigtime!!! I wish I did not have to use them, but the soccer team I arrange the travel for had no choice to fly with them because they had flights that fit their travel schedule.

I have clients that will never fly American and a couple that will *only* fly American. One bad experience traveling shouldn't make your choice not to fly them again. I had an absolutely horrible experience flying on US Airways....lost my sons luggage for over 24 hours while in Jamaica, but ....if the price is right yes.gif
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-31 10:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (Jomo @ Aug 30 2007, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Aug 30 2007, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
**OFF TOPIC**

For those that have their SO's coming here soon on K1's and/or whose filed for AOS since the end of July. The AOS process is taking approximately 90 days once they receive your packet.

I've been reading and keeping up with the threads of the TONS of folks whose checks (like mine) that still haven't been cashed and they've had mine since August 1st.

SO ....be prepared to YET AGAIN -- WAIT on our wonderful immigration system!!

Someone wrote...
we did filed our aos july 28th but never recieve anything from uscis not even a notice. then i called up today and the representative said that it will take up to 90 days now to get the noa. she said i will b expecting my noa on october. my god, thats how long i should wait just to get an noa...if theres more problem with thi aos. we will be leaving this country

Talk about frustrating !!! Then there are some whose packets have been sent back and asked to file with the new fee even though there is documented PROOF of them receiving the packet before July 29th OR postmarked before July 29th !!! There is a USCIS press release that I have in hand just in case they were to do that to us !!

Also seems that once they get the packet that biometrics are being scheduled before you get your NOA1 and then once you have the bio done, they will put your info into the system with 2-3 weeks and then you can track your case.

FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey, Kel. This, I don't see as anything unusual, yet. We sent Andre's in the end of July last year and did not get the green card till mid-November. Didn't get any kind of NOA except for the biometrics appointment (times 2---computer error) in October.



I could care less how long the greencard takes..... I'm talkin about them flippin CASHING the checks !!!! It's been 30 days today.... and still, nothing.
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-30 11:54:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
**OFF TOPIC**

For those that have their SO's coming here soon on K1's and/or whose filed for AOS since the end of July. The AOS process is taking approximately 90 days once they receive your packet.

I've been reading and keeping up with the threads of the TONS of folks whose checks (like mine) that still haven't been cashed and they've had mine since August 1st.

SO ....be prepared to YET AGAIN -- WAIT on our wonderful immigration system!!

Someone wrote...
we did filed our aos july 28th but never recieve anything from uscis not even a notice. then i called up today and the representative said that it will take up to 90 days now to get the noa. she said i will b expecting my noa on october. my god, thats how long i should wait just to get an noa...if theres more problem with thi aos. we will be leaving this country

Talk about frustrating !!! Then there are some whose packets have been sent back and asked to file with the new fee even though there is documented PROOF of them receiving the packet before July 29th OR postmarked before July 29th !!! There is a USCIS press release that I have in hand just in case they were to do that to us !!

Also seems that once they get the packet that biometrics are being scheduled before you get your NOA1 and then once you have the bio done, they will put your info into the system with 2-3 weeks and then you can track your case.

FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-30 10:10:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
QUOTE (AlienUKGirl @ Aug 27 2007, 07:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
His name is Tyler




He's absolutely gorgeous !!!
luvtravlinFemaleJamaica2007-08-27 19:47:00