ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North Africacasablanca consulate is LOONEYTUNES
Did your husband mention to the CO that you were outside? If so what was their response?
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-30 15:52:00
Middle East and North Africacasablanca consulate is LOONEYTUNES
What about proof of your time together - plane stubs, passport entry and exit stamps, photos of you with his family etc.?
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-30 11:52:00
Middle East and North Africacasablanca consulate is LOONEYTUNES

Just so you know, it is rare for the consulate to give you a second chance. So think through all of the questions that was asked of your husband. Think of all of your possible red flags. Pull together as much documentation you possibly can to take to this interview. Letters of approval of your marriage from both of your families could be beneficial. Don't waste this opportunity. Take it very seriously. If they send it back it is a very long and grueling process.


This is really great advice. Morocco4ever is right. You need to think of what are the items that stand out and are outside the box and are red flags. With those in hand you have to overcome them. Prove the reasons for those and how you overcame them. Was it a short courtship? Is it an age difference? Is it relationship past? Is it something in your SO's past? It might not seem fair but you can get past it if you're cool headed and smart about getting all your proof together.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-29 14:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaCitizenship
We put off filing for awhile too - we could have done it in August but money was the hold up. Glad to have the monkey off my back for now!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-02-27 20:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaCitizenship
Thanks everyone! Sounds like we should expect about 6 months!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-02-21 09:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaCitizenship
Yesterday I sent in my husband's citizenship application. It's been a long time getting this far and we're both happy and looking forward to being through the whole immigration stage of our relationship!! Anyone else who has applied recently - how long has it been taking from application to biometrics to interview??
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-02-20 13:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaWhere / how did you buy your recent tickets for travel to Morocco?
I agree - try the airlines directly and try playing with dates. When I was looking I found them from Minneapolis - Marrakech for $2k each! When I did Iberia (out of Chicago) and played with dates - About $600 (this was for March). Late summer might be a better shot for you. Also try cities that you would be willing to drive to, not neccesarily just the very closest. You can try farecaster.com to see what the prices are looking like - also it's best to buy between 2-3 months before departure date - that's when prices will drop - anytime before 3 months they will be priced high.

I also wanted to add for the intl segment you will have to pay 10% of the adult ticket for each child and the full amount of sales tax on an adult ticket. So it's not 100% free :(
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-02-28 16:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaWould you still be with your SO if ...
We talked about the what-ifs a lot and if for some reason we had to move back I definetely would. I think I am more excited by moving back there than my husband. Like others have said - money and jobs would be the biggest issue. But were that to find us in a moderate income range I would be happy to live there with our children. I have always been a bit of a wanderlust and living there would be a great experience for us and our children. I would love them to be able to spend more time with their grandma and aunties. I spent quite a bit of time in Maroc and also lived in Germany so I don't think being away from the US would be an issue - as long as I have MBC4 and my internet I will be happy ;) Oh and another note. When we moved away from DC and back to WI I was a SAHM/SAHW for about 5 months and although I thought I would hate it I ended up really enjoying it. I would love to be able to work part time in Maroc but spend time at home with my kids and my kitchen lol!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-03-02 11:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaVote for me MENA!
You're way ahead today!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-03-19 11:53:00
Middle East and North Africaquestion about Khadija zirari
I don't think it really matters...probably Casa Voyageur
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-03-19 11:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaTips to help your SO adjust
I second what UmmSqueakster just said. However I don't think they really DO get it. Another question is how much are they planning to support their family at home. Although some wives may say "no way no how" that might cause a MAJOR bump in the relationship. I think it's best to be understanding and at least let him voice his desire. One thing that we did was plot out all of our bills and then give each of us an "allowance" how we spent that was completely up to each of us. If he decides to send it home that's fine (although we do send more than just that).

The biggest issue is how much work are they willing to put into it. Jobs are not a dime a dozen and not the kind of jobs that they will most likely want. They will have to spend time applying, preparing and getting the skill set needed to compete for those dream jobs. Be realistic about the level of involvement you can have, if you can't offer hours a day to help him let him know that. Guide him but don't do it for him!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-04-24 09:36:00
Middle East and North AfricaTips to help your SO adjust
My husband came to this country with $20 from his brother. It has never bothered me although I wouldn't HATE getting a flower every now and then. He has bought me a watch and some earrings since he's been here. I would have rathered him come here with no money in his pocket than work in Morocco 40-50 hrs a week for maybe $50. He doesn't have an advanced degree and from what I understand that really doesn't make much difference in Morocco. We are building our life together and I was perfectly ok with that. His medical, visa etc I paid for some and his brother paid for some.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2006-10-12 14:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaTips to help your SO adjust

Food is important, not just being stocked up, but showing him where the good stores are, too.
Don't assume he knows how to use the stove or oven or that foil and forks stay out of the mic.


This is imperative!!! First, my husband had no idea what a microwave was, then he didn't understand that he couldn't just put whatever he wanted in it. I think one of his first adventures was putting a piece of bread in for 3 minutes --- let's just say the microwave was smoking black like I have never seen.

Another thing is make sure that he has things and a way to get out of the house. It will be a struggle for awhile (even if he is an outgoing guy) but it really makes a difference. It increases their independence and forces them to practice English (I know I sound mean but it's really the only way). Also, make sure he has a $20 in his pocket (or something) at all times. This will be hard at first esp. if he isn't working but he needs to know the money is both of yours and he has some access to it.

Fiances are a huge deal - I think from the beginning, after setting in a bit, sit down with them and show them the bills, explain to them what everything means (it sounds juvenile but remember most things there are not billed the same way they are here). Then show them a payment stub from your work, explain to them what everything means. My husband could not believe the amount of money that went towards paying bills and still grapples with the thought of having over $1000 a month in bills to pay. I think the best outcome of doing this is allowing them to see how hard and long you have to work to make money here. For many of them (and their families too) they think that money is easy and plentiful in the US. The sooner you get them involved in the financial process the sooner they will understand. One of our big struggles came from his family at home not understanding why he wasn't working. They believe that he they can come here and work immediately and make a lot of money. Allowing your SO to be involved will really help. The first few months I paid bills, I had Youssef do them seperate, I let him write the checks to practice (oh yea teach them how to write a check too!) and then I showed him how I payed the bills online. We opened a joint checking/savings after we were married and he got an ATM card, he's still afraid to use it but he has it in case he needs to.

Also - explaining credit, loans and income taxes. He wasn't very familiar with any of these things and was very interested in learning and understanding once I started to explain.
Those are some of my thoughts.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2006-10-11 18:40:00
Middle East and North Africamena man + green card = can he go to spain?
If you have an overnight layover you can typically get a 24 hr exit visa. We have done this in London and Madrid. This however is given at the airport and at the discretion of the customs agent. We had zero trouble in London with this, however Madrid was a little more tricky. I think that you being together will make it much easier than if he were alone.

Edited by MrsAmera, 03 January 2010 - 02:11 PM.

MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-03 14:10:00
Middle East and North AfricaFor Morocco K1 filers who are considering staying with their SO's during the wait

Wow that sucks squeeky...how scary! Is it very difficult to get a residency card?


I'm pretty sure you had problems because you entered and turned around to go back in. If you had stayed longer, 1-2 days, or planned to do it not right at the end of 3 months it may have looked a lot less suspicious. If you want to stay you might consider getting married there and doing DCF.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-05-15 20:13:00
Middle East and North Africahave to complain
Wait I think this is looked at the wrong way. If I had a 6 year old girl, who went to school with a hijab and asked her teacher if she could take it off...Mrs. so and so is it ok if I take my scarf off." and my response would be "Sure honey" without any malice intended. It is not the teachers job to enforce parents home rules. How would the teacher even know? She probably has 20 other 6 year olds running around to worry about let alone to pre-occupy herself with worrying about one little girl who happens to wear something on her head. The teacher is not "making the girl disobey her father" the child asked her teacher if she could remove it, the teacher said yes. If she says no then there would be parents all up in her face for imposing religious practices in school. She's sort of stuck either way.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-05-01 16:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
He's going to get his feelings and pride hurt a lot. Hate to say it but it's true. My husband has been here 3 years now and it still happens to him. Although I'm sure she wasn't uber nice to him, I've noticed that at least with my husband even the smallest things make him feel so bad, meaning he expects different treatment then what is often presented. Also I think that here the style of business is just different. My husband wants to hear what he wants to hear, and he doesn't want to hear anything to the contrary. When presented with the realization that gee his skills really aren't that great and he needs to improve them he just says "oh well so and so they're just an a** or they're just racist". Well truth be told they're being honest. Although your husband really wants to work, can you enroll him in some class, or some career development things through the local job center? If he's taking ESL classes maybe he could get a job at the book store or cafeteria on campus to start things off. He can continue to apply for other jobs but in the meantime be building skills that he will need.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-23 11:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
Tasha - My husband used to let Khalil get away with anything! But now that he's almost 2 1/2 I've definetely seen him become much more authoritarian him. I think this was a big relief for Mikhail because he felt like Khalil never got in trouble!!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-23 08:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
Yes I do think that they are well behaved, but having lived for several months with my sister in laws around all the time - I can tell you at least with them, physical punishments are much more the norm. I can remember one time my SIL was yelling at her son sooo bad, and taking the shoe to his bottom (not attached to her foot). I was downstairs and started to cry. She felt awful for doing it then. I had such a hard time explaining to them that it just made me sooo sad because I couldn't imagine ever doing that to my child regardless of the severity of what he was doing. My husband thinks respect = fear, and I do not agree. Like I said I think that his opinion of this is starting to change. Both of our kids are incredibly spoiled with material things, but we are also very strict (so says my family and friends) when it comes to issues such as talking back, using bad language, and not doing as they are told. I use timeouts and corrective behavior techniques. Now all I have to do is tell my 5 year old, you're in timeout and he puts himself in his room until his dad or I tell him he can come out. We have started to use this some with our 2 year old, small timeouts. I've also tried to show my husband that it isnt' all about correcting bad behavior but stopping it before it starts. Redirecting when they're playing, rewarding them for good behavior, and making sure that they just are involved in what's going on and not bored really helps especially with preschool aged children. Supernanny is my friend!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-17 14:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
My situation is a little different but I'll offer input. My son was 6 months old when I met my husband. His father was 100% out of the picture (by his choice not mine). By the time my husband got here my son was 1 1/2. I purposely took him with me to Morocco to spend a summer together with my husband. This was very important to me because I knew that my husband would not only be my husband but a father to my son. I had to make sure that we were compatible not only as a couple but as a family. It did go well, if it wouldn’t have we would have had to end the relationship. I made it clear we were a package deal wink.gif. My son is now 5 yrs old and we have a 2 yr old together. We function as a nuclear family. My oldest son only knows my husband as his father and so there aren’t really step-parent issues. The biggest difference we had to overcome was style in parenting. In Morocco parents are a lot more passive, children are expected to behave, do what they are told with little interaction from parents. That’s not how I was raised and not how I wanted to raise my own kids. It’s taken us sometime to get to the point we are today and my husband has a ways to go but he’s learning to be more patient and involved with the kids and not to expect so much out of them. When we take them to Morocco his family will probably think we’re too soft on them but I think they are much to hard on their kids!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-15 09:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
VW - I also think that your husband is a little older than our husbands (which I think helps). I totally think if my husband would have had to be more self sufficient before he came here things would have been much easier. The fact that his mom and sisters did 100% of things for him certainly did not make him prepared for life here.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-12 09:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
To be completely honest I think it takes a few years for them to really grow, learn and understand and accept life here. It wouldn't matter if I told my husband every single day what life was like her before he came, becuase he didn't get it until he was here. I think it's important to talk about it, but they'll never be fully prepared. The first year my husband was here was ridiculously hard and I thought about giving up sooooo many times, but we worked through it and I'm really glad we did because I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-11 14:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
honeyblonde - you're right. We still have some clouds but they're starting to clear (husband has been here 3 yrs and 1 month). Just in the last few months his tune has really started to change. I see that he's finally grasping things and really opening up about what life was like when he first came. He's admitted a lot of things I never thought he would. He also has told me recently that I was an angel for putting up with all his mood swings in depression. Just last night one of his friends who is from Marrakech was visiting with his wife from Pennsylvania and he told him "American is really nice, you just need to get used to it." (his friend has been here 6 months). OMG NEVER did I think he would say that!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-02-11 13:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
No they don't trust me LOL! However there are times when I confuse my husband with my 5 year old because they both are asking me "why???" or "what's to eat??" or "I don't want to get up..."
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-01-07 13:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
well...I think that a lot of those things disipate with time...but gee I managed to do it with a full time job and 2 kids.... I think that it's important that those who haven't dealt with some issues, know that if they are having problems it's not uncommon. More than one of us have experienced these similar issues so I don't think that it's such an anomoly.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-01-07 13:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
Karmell and Amal you hit the nail on the head. This is dead on in so many ways to our relationship. Rahma I think you are right to some degree with your situation. While we too are young and building our life together we have 2 kids so that makes our situation a little more difficult. The sending money home issue is a biggie for us. We send monthly, because his mom is a widower as well as in special situations and holidays. It's definetely hard sometimes and I wish that there was someway we could claim his mom as a dependent for tax purposes (alas no SSN for her). Patience is huge. Sure there are some couples that seem to have the "perfect" relationship, and I think a lot seem that way at first but in time it definetely starts to grate, issues spring up and must be dealt with. Another hurdle we have is the perception of my family. It took my parents a long time to see that us sending money to his family was not a luxury but really something they depended on. It also took them a long time to understand how hard the adjustment for my husband was. Now that they get it it's almost too late but at least they do have some compassion and understanding for the past.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2009-01-07 11:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
YES ESL even if he thinks it's perfect take the classes!! The reading and writing part is really the part my husband struggles with and he will need that more than anything to get a good job here.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2008-12-29 16:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
Hear hear Amal. He sure was no prince on a white stallion, we struggled for a very very long time. I'm just now reading a book called "The Beautiful Things that Heaven Bears" by Dinaw Mengestu. It's about an Ethiopian immigrant to the DC area. A lot of what he says is sooo true to my husbands story of life in America...
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2008-12-29 15:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaIf you had known then what you know now??
I second that. My husband also says that he works harder here than he ever had and doesn't make nearly the amount of money he believes he should be making. It's definetely a step down for many.... When he came he said he didn't care where he worked, he would work anywhere - his tune changed quickly.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2008-12-29 14:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
Kelly and Nawal - i dunno why (maybe you deleted me!) but I lost you as FB friends. :(
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-03-07 18:59:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
Very cute! He reminds me of how my youngest loooked when he was a baby!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-02-19 13:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
Oh the second child weight gain ---ughhhh! Not to depress you but losing the weight after a 2nd child is super hard - way harder than the first. I am STILL struggling to get it off :(
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-19 20:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
One thing you might want to think about is that it seems dr. over there are big on "over" perscribing things. My husband went in because he was having some anxiety issues and they seriously gave him like 9 different medicines. The thing was he never bothered asking what each was for or anything - after reading the labels when he came home I saw there was ibuprofen, an anti-anxiety medicine(that came in glass liquid viles..lol) , a ton of different vitamin concoctions and other random things. If you were in Marrakech I would recommend our doctor there but I don't know any in Casa :( As others said, baby Tylenol, gas drops - all the over the counter stuff. That's harder to find there and more expensive, anything stronger you can get from a dr. there.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-17 16:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
Whoa lady you are tough! I had my kids via ummm not C-section lol (I don't want to say traditionally!) and that first week I was a hurting unit - no way would I have been moving to get that little critter - he had to be delivered to me!

Co-sleeping, we don't/didn't do it. Little guy was in our bedroom for a little while but in his bassinet and then moved to his crib and room around 2 months. Our biggest struggle was getting mommied out and my husband feeling like the 5th wheel over the kids. We had a rough patch after our youngest. A lot of ppl like co-sleeping but for me/us nuh uh...
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-16 20:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
My kids use them interchangeably.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-15 12:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
*signing up for the bad mommy club* lol
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-14 18:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
I didn't make all of Khalil's babyfood but did some. Like Staashi said - just steam it and puree it - super super easy!
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-14 10:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
LOL about the statue!

Arabic Disney DVD's?!?! Where! I must have some...
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-14 08:33:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread
Berber Mama - you might be surprised - my boys LOVE LOVE LOVE taking baths - they also hate being dirty lol so figure that out.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-13 11:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread

You'll have to give me the dish on what it's like having two boys. I have always heard that boys for some reason are harder.
I think that how they are as fathers depends on how their fathers were with them. My husbands dad wasn't around alot until he was at least 10 years old. He worked in another city and came home to visit long enough to get my MIL pregnant again.
Hocine is doing much better now but we still have very different parenting styles. He lets Mehdi do whatever he wants to keep him from crying which in turn has spoiled him.


Well I think you heard right. They are hard. Very hard most of the time. When they were little it wasn't such an issue because Mikhail was ticked Khalil didn't do anything, then he got big enough to steal his toys and that was an outrage, now they are finally at a stage where they can play together - if they choose to. The fighting is the worst and I'm not sure how to calm that down but they both react quickly - they play fight, they fight fight. They are also very busy. They never slow down!! I have been reassured that they get easier as they get older. I see that my oldest is mellowing out - he's almost 6 now and he seems to have turned a corner. He will sit down and do "quiet" activities.

We (my husband and I) have different parenting ideas which stem from how we were raised I think. My husband also did not have a father around all the time, he worked and he had another family (2 wives in different houses). He also died unexpectedly when my husband was about 16. He is quite authoritarian, he doesn't mess around, doesn't allow disrespect and really (I think) doesn't understand that kids are kids not little adults. I was quite indulged as a child, and had a very involved mother who stayed home and totally did whatever we wanted to do. not that we ran amuck but she always played with us and got involved in our lives. My husband said his parents never ever played with him (shoot his mom had 9 kids how could she?) I give him credit because he is getting better. He has a great relationship with the boys which I think is important because shoot what do I know about boys? LOL.

The biggest hurdle/change for us was that my husband had to grow up. In Maroc he was the baby of the family and was catered to his whole life. He was 21 when he came here and had never lived on his own and had no idea how to care for himself. I blame his mother for that, but it's beside the point. He walked in and had not only to care for himself in part but also care for a small child (soon 2 small children). It was rough, for me especially and he has come a long way. There are still areas where I wish he would pick up some slack but I guess in time those things will be figured out.
MrsAmeraFemaleMorocco2010-01-12 11:34:00