ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
PhilippinesFedEx Shipment

If Fedex is the most convenient courier for you, then go for Fedex. If Fedex charges like DHL, remove the whole document from the binder and just send it as it is and have her buy the supplies in the PHilippines (hella cheap!!!) I had to remove the fabric ribbon from a wedding invite because they were charging it something other than a document (higher, of course!)


A fabric ribbon, you got to be kidding.

That is like sneezing and being accused of starting the plague
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 02:40:00
PhilippinesFedEx Shipment

I don't understand why you have to send her a phone. Can't you just ask her to buy a mobile phone in the Philippines??? You can easily buy phones there that you can use anywhere ("open line" as we call it). She can even use her prepaid sim to call you once she gets here, she just has to make sure it's loaded with more than 3000 PHP (roughly 25 USD) credits before she leaves the Philippines and roaming feature is set. Sending that phone is going to cause issues.

As for documents,get a quote from LBC or DHL as well.


Well she does have a Sprint HTC Evo Phone that I left there prior to coming back to America. The only problem is that the phone isn't activated.

I think what I am going to do is activate her phone just prior of her leave the Philippines that way it will be programmed into the phone once she turns it on here in the states.

I wanted to send her a prepaid to think ahead but after thinking about it. It will just cause problems. I know how they are in the Philippines about electronics. Do anything to make a few pesos in the pocket even hold your valuable possessions at ransom.

The binder alone sending her everything and much much more just in cause is going to hurt the pockets by itself. Don't need to add insult to injury.

I know that we have a DHL here but not sure if we have an LBC, aren't they for the bigger cities. Closest big city to me is Wilmington, NC or even Raleigh which can be 1 to 2 hours one way.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 11:07:00
PhilippinesFedEx Shipment

If you must, send it in a separate package even though you think it will cost you more, it may not. My experiences with Philippines/customs/Fed ex.

FIRST PACKAGE
I sent some sandals to my fiance valued at $ 85.00 for a birthday present. It got pulled into customs and they charged her $ 65.00 to receive it (customs tax) and it took two weeks after over a week in customs. A phone of any sort would be a flag to tax the package. You can't lie on the contents because they will scan it. It's just a corrupt system over there.

SECOND PACKAGE
I sent a couple pounds of paper documents to support her in the interview. I listed it as paper fiancee documents and valued it at
$ 1.00. The documents arrived in 3-4 days, no taxes what ever. Sailed right through.

I believe that phone is going to hang everything up for you. They have pay phones in the airports. She probably doesn't even need any coins to pick up the phone, dial zero and get an operator assisted collect call to you.


Sounds like a good idea. Maybe I will just send the phone through USPS... its a cheap phone. I will make sure that i write CMDA Phone because they can't use those over in the Philippines. Joke on them!

Then I will send the paperwork through FedEx... FedEx has no mercy when it comes to their prices.


acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 05:44:00
PhilippinesFedEx Shipment
I am sending the binder full of papers which runs about 6lbs.

I understand if you are just sending papers then it won't be too hard to send it.

but, I am also sending a very very cheap 10 dollar pre paid phone so that when she enters into the POE, then she can call me and let me know everything is okay.
Also, sending 2 Batteries for her HTC evo 4G.

Am I going to have a very big shipping delay just because of the little cell phone and batteries?
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 01:12:00
Philippinesmindanao
Both the Embassy and Medical is done in Manila.

The medical center is called St. Lukes and it is behind Robinson Manila Gil Puyat. It is actually right in front of the embassy, kind of. The medical center is more away from the main road. Little more inside of the city.

I really don't think it will be delayed. You just have to get your medical done, your interview which are both in Manila.

My fiancee just has the medical needed and now is waiting for the interview. Her interview is beg of March and she is just going to visit her family in Bacolod for a few weeks, just before the interview and come back to Manila.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 13:38:00
Philippinesbaptism
That is actually per church requirement. It really depends on the church she is going to.

I know that church here in the states is crazy, but the Philippines is heighten to a whole new level. So they might be a little stricter over there.

The best way for you to find out about that question is to have your fiancee go over o the church and talk to them one on one.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 23:52:00
Philippinesbaptism
Found this under the "online appointment" they go into more detail on what documents are required.



New Applications

Please have all your original documents and IDs photocopied before going to DFA on your appointment date.

NSO Birth Certificate
Birth Certificate (BC) in Security Paper (SECPA) issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO) or Certified True Copy (CTC) of BC issued by the Local Civil Registrar duly authenticated by NSO depending on the NSO signatory; for born 1950 & below, Negative Birth Record from NSO & Joint Birth Affidavit from Two Disinterested Persons if no record from NSO.

Call (02) 737-1111 for your NSO Birth Certificate


Original Valid ID
Original ID i.e. Senior Citizen's ID, Voter's ID, digitized government-issued IDs like SSS, PRC, BIR, Driver's License, original school ID (for students only) AND original supporting documents indicating full name, date and place of birth and citizenship.


If your Birth Certificate was Late Registered:
  • If registered on or before 2000: submit 1 original supporting document indicating full name, date and place of birth, and citizenship prior to the date of late registration.
  • If registered on or after 2001: submit 2 original supporting documents indicating full name, date and place of birth, and citizenship prior to the date of late registration.

Certified True Copy of Birth Certificate
Certified True Copy (CTC) of BC issued by the Local Civil Registrar with dry seal if BC SECPA is unreadable.


Applicants with foreign - sounding family names (e.g., Lim, Cho, Sy, Lee, Samadi, Singh, etc.) are required to submit the following documents:
  • Birth Certificate
  • Bureau of Immigration Identification
  • Certificate of Naturalization
  • Marriage Certificate of Parents
Call (02) 737-1111 for NSO Certificates


Applicants who availed of Dual Citizenship under RA 9225 are required to submit the following:
  • Birth Certificate
  • Identification Certificate
  • Oath of Allegiance
  • Report of Birth (for those born abroad)
Call (02) 737-1111 for NSO Birth Certificates


Other Supporting Documents
Please bring the following if they are available.

  • Marriage Contract
  • Land Title
  • Driver's License
  • Government Service Record
  • School Form 137 or Transcript of Records with dry seal
  • Other documents that show full name and birth details of applicant and/or citizenship
  • Voter's Registration Record from COMELEC Intramuros
  • Baptismal Certificate with dry seal
  • Seaman's Book
  • Income Tax Return (Old)
  • NBI Clearance

If you would like to use the surname of your spouse:
  • Marriage Contract (MC) in Security Paper issued by NSO and Certified True Copy issued by the Local Civil Registrar if MC secpa is unreadable.
  • Certificate of Attendance from CFO (Commission of Filipino Overseas) if married to a foreigner (color green).
There special instances when there is no record of the marriage with NSO but supporting documents are under the married name.

  • Prepare a Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR) from the NSO in SECPA and Affidavit of Explanation.
  • If it was determined by the NSO that you have a marriage record (negative CENOMAR result), you can use the surname of your spouse.
  • Otherwise, (positive CENOMAR result), you can NOT use the surname of your spouse.
Call (02) 737-1111 for NSO Marriage Certificates


If you would like to revert back to your maiden name.
Please prepare the following as well:

  • Death Certificate of the deceased husband and Marriage Contract (MC) in Security Paper issued by NSO or by the Local Civil Registrar duly authenticated by NSO.
  • If marriage is annulled: Certified true copy and photocopy of the first page and the dispositive portion of the judgment on annulment and NSO-issued Marriage Certificate with the annotation on the annulment decree.
  • If divorced: Certified true copy and photocopy of the first page and the dispositive portion of the judgment on divorce authenticated by the Philippine Embassy or Consulate where the divorce is obtained and NSO-issued Marriage Certificate with the annotation on the divorced decree.
Call (02) 737-1111 for NSO Certificates


For Minor Applicants

Legitimate Children:

Traveling with both parents:
  • Passport of both parents, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Personal appearance of minor with either parent.
  • If father will appear with the child, prepare the Marriage Certificate in SECPA.
  • If mother will appear with the child, no need for Marriage Certificate in SECPA.
Traveling with mother only:
  • Passport of mother, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Personal appearance of minor with either parent.
  • If father will appear with the child, prepare the Marriage Certificate in SECPA.
  • If mother will appear with the child, no need for Marriage Certificate in SECPA.
Traveling with father only:
  • Passport of father, original and photocopy.
  • Marriage Certificate of parents from NSO in SECPA.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Personal appearance of minor with either parent.
Traveling with guardian and either parent is in the Philippines only:
  • Passport of guardian, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Original and photocopy of DSWD Clearance.
  • Affidavit of Support and Consent indicating the name and relationship of the guardian. (Must be notarized)
    • Passport or Original ID w/ signature of the parent who executed the affidavit.
    • If the father is the executor, prepare Marriage Certificate in SECPA as well.
  • Personal appearance of minor with either parent.
    • Valid ID of the parent accompanying the minor for appearance.
    • If father will appear with the child, prepare the Marriage Certificate in SECPA.
    • If mother will appear with the child, no need for Marriage Certificate in SECPA.
Traveling with guardian and both parents are out of the country:
  • Passport of guardian, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Original and photocopy of DSWD Clearance.
  • Affidavit of support and consent indicating the name of the traveling companion and the relationship to the minor (must be authenticated by the nearest Philippine Embassy or Consulate General).
    • If the father is the executor, prepare Marriage Certificate in SECPA as well.
  • Special Power of Attorney designating the representative by name and authorizing him/her to apply for a passport on behalf of the minor in their stead (must be authenticated by the nearest Philippine Embassy or Consulate General).
  • Certified True Copy of parents' passport (must be authenticated by the nearest Philippine Embassy or Consulate General)
  • Original valid ID w/ signature or passport of the authorized representative in the Special Power of Attorney document.
  • Personal appearance of minor with the authorized representative in the Special Power of Attorney document.
Illegitimate Children:

Traveling with mother only:
  • Passport of mother, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Personal appearance of minor with mother.
Traveling with father only:
  • Passport of father, original and photocopy.
  • Affidavit of Support and Consent from the mother. (Must be notarized)
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Personal appearance of minor with mother with valid ID or passport.
  • Original and photocopy of DSWD Clearance.
Traveling with guardian and mother is in the Philippines only:
  • Passport of guardian, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Original and photocopy of DSWD Clearance.
  • Affidavit of Support and Consent indicating the name and relationship of the guardian.
    • Passport or Original ID w/ signature of the mother who executed the affidavit.
  • Personal appearance of minor with mother with valid ID or passport.
Traveling with guardian and mother is out of the country:
  • Passport of guardian, original and photocopy.
  • Original Birth Certificate from NSO in SECPA
  • Original and photocopy of DSWD Clearance.
  • Affidavit of support and consent indicating the name of the traveling companion and the relationship to the minor (must be authenticated by the nearest Philippine Embassy or Consulate General).
  • Special Power of Attorney designating the representative by name and authorizing him/her to apply for a passport on behalf of the minor in their stead (must be authenticated by the nearest Philippine Embassy or Consulate General).
  • Certified True Copy of parents' passport (must be authenticated by the nearest Philippine Embassy or Consulate General)
  • Original valid ID w/ signature or passport of the authorized representative in the Special Power of Attorney document.
  • Personal appearance of minor with the authorized representative in the Special Power of Attorney document.
Illegitimate children that have been legitimized by subsequent marriage, prepare the following ADDITIONAL requirements:
  • Marriage Certificate from the NSO in SECPA
  • Birth Certificate from NSO must be annotated
Click here to request for NSO marriage certificates online.

Call (02) 737-1111 for NSO Marriage Certificates


If you are a Muslim applicant whose birth was not registered:
Please take note of the following:

  • Late registered Birth Certificate (BC) in Security Paper (SECPA) issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO).
  • Original and photocopy of Voter's Affidavit or other supporting documents indicating date and place of birth and citizenship, identity and tribal affiliation.
  • Certificate from the Office on Muslim Affairs (OMA).

If you are a Muslim convert:
Please take note of the following:

  • Submit annotated Birth Certificate (BC) in Security Paper (SECPA)
  • Court Order granting change of name
  • Shari'ah Court Order
  • OMA Certificate of Conversion
Call (02) 737-1111 for your NSO Birth Certificate




Passport Fees
Regular Processing: Php 950.00 (15 working days)

Rush Processing: Php 1,200.00 (7 working days)

An additional fee of Php 200.00 will be charged for processing of Lost Passports if it is still valid.


Edited by acuratlsd, 05 February 2012 - 08:39 AM.

acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 08:39:00
Philippinesbaptism
http://dfa.gov.ph/ma...rvices/passport

No where in here states that a baptism certificate is needed for a passport.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 08:37:00
PhilippinesCEMAR
Well, if you have been released from marriage then I am sure that you get a Cenomar. It makes sense. Certificate of No Marriage since technically you are "Not Married" Anymore.

But what bothers me is when my fiancee got her cenomar, it just said she had no marriages.

I am sure on yours will say you had previous but has been annulled. Just a little more information on your cenomar then with someone with "no" marriages.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 10:44:00
PhilippinesCEMAR
I would make sure that you file it with the NSO and make sure that NSO makes you a certified copy of it. That would be legit for the US embassy. They are looking for legit documents. So, one with seals, pretty colors of the paper.. stuff like that.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 05:07:00
PhilippinesCEMAR
Most likely proof from the NSO that your fiancee or fiance is annulled from the previous marriage knowing that there is no such thing as a divorce in Philippines.

Certificate of No Marriage Record (CENOMAR)

means just that so it will have to be a different piece of paper from the NSO


acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 04:17:00
PhilippinesMedical

And Passport photos are cheap so why not take extra to be safe...

Better be safe then told to come back the next day..... Or next week or next month...


There were some things that I loved in the Philippines. For one is the passport stamps... I got a booklet of passport photos for 2 dollars. I couldn't get passport photos done here at wal-mart, sears, belks, wal greens for that much if my life depended on it. I think i paid around 14 dollars for 2.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-07 22:02:00
PhilippinesSupport document from the petitioner?
What other info do you need? I thought it was just specifically on the I-134.

anything else you need for after NOA2?
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-08 03:28:00
PhilippinesSupport document from the petitioner?
Actually the affidavit of support should solely be filled out by the fiance, not the fiancee because it deals with finances. This is to show if he can support you and you will not be a government problem.

The petitioner needs to fill it out and sign it.
Also needs to provide financial support along with it i.e Supporting Documents

1. Form 1040 for 2011 (If Done) not mandatory until after April 17th; more than likely he will have his W-2s also should add up to three years of taxes and W-2s.
(Your petitioner will know what a W-2 and Form 1040 is); if he doesn't have the 1040 he can always submit the tax transcripts for each year.
The difference between the 1040 and tax transcripts are the 1040s are what you submit to the IRS for your taxes, the Tax Transcript is a break down of the 1040 after it has been received.

2. If he has any VA benefits which is the VA award Letter
3. Retirement which will be the 1099-T
4. Letter from his employer with official letter head.
5. Bank Statements showing deposits; i would provide 3 to show consistency.
6. Work Pay Stubs 3-5 months.

You can scan it, but to make it official I think he should send them through the mail for you.
I am not sure about this but I think the officer looks for the original signature.
(don't quote me but I am sure others will add to this list or modify it)

Edited by acuratlsd, 08 February 2012 - 02:30 AM.

acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-08 02:26:00
PhilippinesPeople from Eastern NC

With Lejeune and New River right there I would imagine there are quite a few. When I lived in Jacksonville '89-'97 there was filipina wives club that met every other weekend I think. My neighbors wife was a member ( Man could that woman cook!)
Good luck!


We use to have a Filipino store and Filipino resteraunt here but she went out of business. Sad Day! Only place in town where the Karaoke sounded decent. Americans can't sing. It is a fact.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-07 22:35:00
PhilippinesPeople from Eastern NC
My fiancee is going to be here in a month and a half and it would be nice to meet other Filipinas from around the area.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 12:30:00
PhilippinesEAD
Once your fiance/fiancee came into the United States... what has to happen for you to get the EAD card if you don't mind elaborating...
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 11:33:00
PhilippinesDay 1 {Saint Luke's Medical Center} Manila
3) Appointment letter – Bring original and have the first 2 pages photo copied.




What exactly is this... If this is the visa appointment letter. We never got one just yet. I made the appointment online and they sent us an email confirmation. Then we can make multiple copies of that.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-07 19:07:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

She's 28? This is a defective unit. Return for unit that can be test driven under rigorous conditions.


There's no greater change then moving from full-time employment in Manila to living on the edge of the wilderness in Alaska in a log cabin. We haven't left the cabin for almost six weeks. Fifty below zero last week - seventy below zero wind chill. Heating with a wood stove. Moose in the yard. Occasionally bears or wolves.

Not one iota of drama about moving. Excitement instead. Both of us could have complained about giving up independence, and with me the international playboy life, and blowing fifteen thousand on a new airplane engine without a thought. Wheeeeee!!!

The point of this is supposed to be the happiness about being together and all the new things to encounter. If she's going to get all dramatic about leaving that perfect life in the Philippines, then fine - stay there and another half-million girls will be glad to take her place.


Very true but in my case it will be the half-million girls wanting to get with me for the wrong reason and just for a free trip to america. My ex wife was like that. Once she left the Philippines she did a dr. jekle and mr. hyde 180 on me.

my advice is that if your in the military, stay single because once you give your girl a military dependent card and she turns out to be the wicket witch of the east, then that dependent card is a one way ticket to unemployment. true story!
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-08 02:43:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

I will enlighten you a bit. I am a Filipina and i think i understand what your fiancee is going through right now. Our family is well off though and im not freaking out of financial matters, actually i can pay for my visa fee and medical and everything else w/o the help of my fiance but still im telling him to save for those expenses that will come in our way once NOA 2 is approved because he tends to spend for anything he wants not for everything he needs. Im just teaching him how to be responsible in preparation of his married life. I guess that's how all independent women think because we want everything in order to avoid cramming that will cause any delay in the process. Of course every girl wants to be with their love ones as soon as possible. Distance and time difference really really suck!

But the reality comes in as we get nearer and nearer in getting the NOA2. This makes me think twice if i'm really ready to leave my family and my beloved country just to be with the person i love for good. Will this worth all the sacrifices? I'm better off in my own country.. I have maid, i don't do any household chores, i can travel all regions in the Philippines and other countries for business and pleasure every month, i'm a VIP everywhere i go, i can watch movie and see my friends after work, i can chitchat with my neighbors and relax on weekends. I can go to work and leave anytime i want. I'll be promoted to Senior Science Research Specialist very soon if i decided to stay.

But when i leave and start my life in the US, i wont have maid anymore, i need to do the household chores by myself, i need to get a job but im not sure if i can get the same job i have here. it's stressful right? One day, everything will change in one click! And because independent women thinks way far ahead, these changes freak us out!

my thoughts to you, make your fiancee feel secured just showing her you are in the same page. Listen to her and never argue with her. Be more understanding and be patient with her. It's not easy what we are going through with this process because it will change our lives for good. Maybe she is very worried for the future of her family in the financial aspect when she leaves the country. Because Filipinos work for their family not only for themselves, thats how our culture works. If u cant accept it this early, you'll have a big problem in the future.


Exactly, that is what i was looking for. You are going through the same thing my fiancee is going through. She is very independent. Her family is very well off. Her mom has her own business, but even with all that money my fiancee will always try to do things on her own.

She works so much and she is a nurse so people will take advantage of her being single. Since she is single, she can work every shift in the book because she has no obligations. She is always working, and when she comes home she goes to bed, back up in 5 in the morning she has to go to work again. She is just very stressed. She has never done a K-1 and this is my first one. So,l she is so worried when it comes to the paper work and money. I wasn't trying to say that it was her faught that i didn't have the money. I just told her that this is what happen and this is the situation and you just have to deal with the moment. I just told her to give me a couple of days. Being from the Philippines, she knows that money just doesn't appear, well not 15,000php here and there, just doesn't show up on the door step so I think she is very worried about how I will come up with the money.

My fiancee is doing the same thing that you are doing to your fiance. She is trying to prepare me for the future married life. I told her that I am pushing my school, going to 6-7 classes for the semester so that I can get a better or or a job that I enjoy. My fiancee is worried too about the work. She is a private duty nurse in the Philippines and respected and once she leaves then she will loose everything. She will loose her status and for an independent women, that is a big thing for her.

When she gets here on the K-1, she will be out of work for at least 3 months, but we have so many hospitals and doctors here that I don't think she will ever have a problem.

You also mentioned the cooking and cleaning. She has cooked before but never used electric stove so the 5 min water boil she has with her gas will take 3 times as long. When she does her laundry, she is outiside for hours doing the laundry and then waiting 2 days for it to dry, she can't get the fact that here in america, 60 min to wash and 60 min to dry and its done. LOL

When she comes here I am giving her .. her own room to sleep in so that she can transition. She is telling me that this is going to be hard for her. Being that we are not married yet, she still feels that its important not to sleep with your fiance.

Do you mind if I give you her cell number and/or email there in the Philippines so maybe you two can help one another out? I think she has to hear it from another filipina going through the same situation as hers to help her through it.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-07 21:59:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

That was evasion and diversion. You said you wouldn't pay for the FOOD if the waitress "bothered" you, right here:




The reason I thought this important is that besides all the drama that is everyone else's fault, this is a pretty drastic threat to be making to a waitress. One of the things we are taught to do in evaluating people for long-run relationships is how they treat waitresses, doormen, the grease-monkey at K-mart, etc. - because abusive people are very careful about kissing butt with the people they think have power over them, but are nasty to people that they view as beneath them.

So you have this Filipina that you met in Philippines, had a correspondence, then broke it off when the sister of the ex-wife sent some "helpful" tips to her, (the imprisonment for spousal abuse?) along with the German Psycho-Girl and then out of the blue she is in love with you, but she doesn't know you are living with your mom and dad or the full extent of your dependency upon them so that news is freaking her out...

There are some red flags on story consistency here. You were married before. Then had a "Fiance", except either one or the other was being processed on a K-3 which is a spousal visa, so this is all pretty confusing.

But one thing seems pretty clear to me: if you tell people the truth from the beginning, not even little white lies as you said, then bombshells like imprisonment for spousal abuse or living with your mom and dad; making her a dependent on your Dad's tax return - those aren't going to be bombshells at all.


Someone said it sounds like rushing in without knowing each other. Yeah.


The food has nothing to do with the waitress. Sorry, I am typing so fast that I don't realize what I am typing half the time. Then, I am going to have to explain myself.

If the food is bad, I'll complain about it. It is what the resteraunt wants to do. I will just accept the best peace offering. The waitress I won't give tip if she does a bad job but if she does a very good job, I don't mind giving extra to show my appreciation.

I was married before. I filed a K-3, but then I had it cancelled by sending a letter to the embassy while I was in Kuwait. They just asked for a scanned passport and letter authorizing them to kill the visa process. They also asked that it was motorized. That is it. 4 years later is when I applied for K-1. Before I even tried to apply for the K-1, I took my butt to the U.S. Embassy in Manila and asked them if they had a trace of it and gave them my explanation of what happen and they said I would not have a problem.

It wasn't out of the blue she was in love with me, she was still in love with me but worried. So, she was scared.

I find a lot of articles on here about how everything is going smooth. No one on here has ever had issues with their fiancee or fiance about when it comes to different things. A perfect relationship is a fake one. There has to be fights, there has to be arguments and disagreements. It is inevitable.

My main concerned about this forum that I created is if anyone has every had an of the same issues that I have had with their fiance. They never had doubts, they never asked what am I going to do when I get to the United States, my fiancee was even scared because she didn't know how to do the laundry. I told her to separate the colors and throw it in a big hole and press a button. 60 min later is it done, not the typical whole day that it takes in the Philippines if you are doing it with 3 large buckets.

I am just wondering if someone can shine some light with me an say that they have had issues with their fiancee.. am I the only one? Moving to another country is a big thing. I remember the first time I went to Philippines. I had no idea on how to do anything. I had to be retaught. It was scary at first. So, I understand the situation.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-07 21:48:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

I would have to agree with you Dan on 3 out of 4! they may not B** at you for not having a Job but as the head of the family Who got this Lady here, it is of my Opinion YOU should be main provider of Support for this Lady? .....................I mean didnt you file a I-134 or I-864 for her????:thumbs:


Yup, I filed everything.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 18:51:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

Isn't this the fellow who tells restaurants he is not going to pay for the food if the waitress "bothers" him? I thought it was a pinay in that thread.

A couple of arguments away from a shovel and a long night?



:blink: Geez, I guess mine is going horribly wrong.



It is extremely simple: you tell them. A decent person only needs to be told once. A bad person has no empathy, so it doesn't matter how many times you tell them, they don't care and continue to use the myth as an excuse to manipulate you for money. Like a bank robber who says they aren't really stealing because the bank didn't do anything to earn the money.


I was married before. Not my fiancee before.
She was making my military career a complete nightmare.
She would call the Military police on me because I wouldn't continue her K-3
she would lie saying i hit her, this and that.

I was actually on lock down for 3 days because of that it and it was a a semi weekly thing.
My unit wasn't smart enough to look into it especially when she had no marks on her.

When you have your wife after you and then you have your unit looking down at you... lots of stress goes on there.

and YES! I absolutely will not pay a waitress if she doesn't do her job. If she does it average then the 15%, but if she does an outstanding job, i'll even boost it to 20-30 percent.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 18:15:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

My fiance and I are only approaching the BPI phase, I hadn t even thought of the AOS phase 1070,Plus 2 Kids? We both knew up front we would have fees and fees and then a few more fees, were pretty much on the same page with the cash end of the process, but reading this post wonder how many people dont know or dont care to know it takes some income and planning to make this a seemless, somewhwat stressless Journey, The hurry up and wait is hard enough without adding onto it mutual mystification in regards to fees and unknowns of resources once your here together, just my 2 cents.


I mean I am fine with the fees.
I get a paycheck to cover that, but it was the tuition, visa application, medical, immigration paperwork, and plane ticket that hit all at once that hurt.
At the end of the 3 months, it will be no problem.

There should be a page pinned up showing all the costs of everything so people can plan it and it doesn't come to a shock to others.

My fiance and I are only approaching the BPI phase, I hadn t even thought of the AOS phase 1070,Plus 2 Kids? We both knew up front we would have fees and fees and then a few more fees, were pretty much on the same page with the cash end of the process, but reading this post wonder how many people dont know or dont care to know it takes some income and planning to make this a seemless, somewhwat stressless Journey, The hurry up and wait is hard enough without adding onto it mutual mystification in regards to fees and unknowns of resources once your here together, just my 2 cents.


This explains the fees on the AOS I-485 page.

http://www.uscis.gov...00048f3d6a1RCRD

I am not sure the ages of the kids but if they are 14 and below, you will really benefit.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 17:49:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

I don't want to freak anybody out but do you know you have to cut another check for $1070 after you get married? That's for adjustment of status. After 90 days she'll be out of status until you file the AOS and pay the fee.


Yeah! I got that one too.

What are the break down of fees for the AOS or is it just one big fee?
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 17:37:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

I'll be honest and say that Anna and I probably wouldn't have survived the K-1 process...

I'm so glad that I married her in the Philippines and we went the CR-1 route.

FWIW, she has the same RIGHTS as everyone else the moment she steps foot in the US. Residency, Driving and Working are not rights, they are privileges.

For all of the words int he world you'll never convince her of anything by words alone. Examine your actions. Are you treating her like and equal or not?

Let her do her share of the Visa process, it will be good for both of you.

Stop placing blame for everything that has gone wrong up to this point, it does nobody any good. In this case it actually is causing harm as you come off as scolding her which means that she's not your equal.

Don't EVER even joke about anything that could have been afforded if it wasn't for an expense related to this process, it devalues her.

Right now, open up your books to her. Let her see how your money flows. I did this early on for Anna and 9 months later it was still a bit of a shock after she arrived and truly realized the scope of money here.

Also, it doesn't matter if your saying any of this directly to her or not. If you're thinking of it in these terms them she's picking-up on it. You need to adjust that.

It's a sad truth that we each will end up paying for the mistakes of those we love the most. She has insecurities for reasons long before you came into her life and the inverse is also true.


I just sent her everything. I mean I sent her my last 3 years of taxes, my bank statements, I mean pretty much everything that deals with my finances so I think she may get a little wake up call.

I would love for her to do things for the visa but she is working 24/7 over there. I just didn't want to add to the stress. I am trying to make things as easy as possible for her. I do treat her like an equal.

I don't mean to be condescending when i say that since you decided to be with me at the last minuet that the money has to be scraped up. It is just the truth, that is one thing i dedicated to her that I would never lie to her. Even white lies are lies and even lies to make someone feel better are lies. I just rather be up front and honest with everything so there are no more doubts or will there ever be a doubt.

She did kind of came after me yesterday because she is saying that the process of getting the photos graphs and a new cenomar and then the police records and NBI kind of put her short of money. I knew how she felt and i informed her I apologize for putting her in that situation but maybe she was looking for something else that I could give her to cheer her up.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 14:15:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

Well you have been given some very good advice as well as some slappin around lol.... One thing I want to discuss is your comment about "Filipinos being close to their family and not wanting to move away" I see this seldom, as well as having a company there with 300 Filipino employees therefore I see it much different. Most of my staff of 9 Managers were from different islands with half only going home to see their wife and kids two times a year. It is very common and very much in their culture to do what is best to support their family. Keep in mind the #1 exported product (if I can call a human a product) in the Philippine is "people". Nurses, Cruise Ships, Nannies, House Keepers, Marriage,trafficing-unfortunately). Factories now in Middle East recruit pinoys as I lost some to the Middle East due to wage.

WHat we has the petitioner need to do is make sure our fiancee is comfortable throughout the process. I made some mistakes in 2007 with how I handled the stressful situations. I will not do this again. In addition find in your living city here in the States a Filipino Community so she can interact with her own kind. You should know being Military how important this is. The first time I found a foreigner friend in the Philippines was about 4 months into my tenure. I almost kissed my English Mate lol. We need our own culture even though we love our spouse very much.
Just keep her in your thoughts as you make your decisions. I would let her know the square meters (not feet) of your mothers home... 4 bedrooms to her means it could all be within 50 Sq M or 500 sq ft. Keep it simple


I live in a military town therefore lots and lots of asians here.

Just in the local walmart there are 8 that I know if and who knows how many they are friends with that I don't know about.

I really think that she will be okay here. I was living in the Philippines and had to sleep with a very fast fan just to keep it cool enough.

Being able to take a shower and not have to sweat right after the shower is a good thing here in the states. I use to have to walk around the house with out a shirt on just until the time we were about to leave to go out or else the shirt would be no good anymore LOL

I really think that the accommodations will make up for everything.

She is just having issues with her mother, her mother is paying more attention to her husband which is not her daughters dad. My fiancee's dad died 10 years ago so she is just missing having a family I guess. She lives in Makati, and her mom visits like 4 times a month from bacolod but it is only for her business, she just uses her daughters house to sleep in for one night and she is gone the next morning. Hopefully, having my mom and dad there with her will give her some hope in life. My mom and dad are awesome and they will love her to death... My dad said as long as she can make lumpia, she will be a dependent on his taxes.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 14:07:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

You know that, but does your fiancee know that?


That is the hard part. She thinks that I am dependent on my mom which I am not. I just don't know how to make her understand that.

The thing that is hard for her is understanding that she is coming over here as an immigrant.
She doesn't have the same rights as everyone else and until she does...
A lot of money has to be spent and a lot of waiting has to be done.

She can't work, she can't leave the united states until her files are in tact. Little things like that.

I thought she would have understood that after witnessing me going through all the immigration ####### in the Philippines.
I couldn't open up a bank account until i had the ACR-I Card in my hands. To the Philippines, I didn't exist without that ID.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 13:30:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

My fiancee has not really had good support from her family her entire life. Went to live with an Aunt when she was young who made her work in the Rice fields and not attend to her school. Had her drop out of school after 6th grade because she had to work. SO she hadn't seen her mom in 10 or so years and her father died when she was young. Her Aunt's and Nieces(who are older than her) are loca loca and have tried to steer her down a very bad path in life. The only family she cares very much for is her younger brother.

With that being said, I'm her very close family and have had a great deal of discussions on family and life. Our love is very strong and I have done everything to show her(not just tell her) how much I love her and I'm here for her and to show her a happy life. On the phone last night discussing what's coming in Manila, she was asking me the questions: Are you sure your going to take care of me in U.S.?? I thought your going to hold my hand when I get my shot's at the medical? Are you sure they are going to like me there? It's nervousness. It's a great big world in U.S. with a lot of horror storries told to them by all kinds of jealous people.. Just keep being positive and ton's of communication and all be work out if it's meant to be..


Yeah, I still get the same questions from mines.

Is your mom and dad going to like me? Will I be able to work when I am there? When are we going to have children? You know the 100 questions asked kind of thing. She is very very nervous because she has never left the Philippines. The only thing that she knows about America is what she sees in movies and you know 90% is #######. Also, what she hears from others.

My fiancee got very nervous with me because I use to date this psychotic German girl which was also creating rumors. She has this thing that she didn't want me but she didn't want anyone else to want me so because of this she sent lies to my fiancee through Facebook. Facebook is the devil and that is why all of this started.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 13:26:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

And maybe your Fiancee is a little worried that this will become the plan for the foreseeable future, that she's now your Mom's Private Nurse and can't be independent or work towards you as a couple building a future together.


My mom would never do that. She has VA, Free Medical from Military. She is fine. My mom is not dependent on us but I would also like to make sure she is okay. As her son, it is just a thing I feel to do. I just need to make sure she is taking good care of before I decide to build a family. Which I want really soon. Within a year or two. the main thing that I am really concerned on is making sure that my fiancee has all her paperwork in order to get her AOS, eligibility to work card, drivers license, things like that before we go on our own.

My sister got married and she is stuck at the house with 2 kids because her husband would never let her get on his insurance or let her learn to drive because he wants her to be the house slave. I would never do that to my fiancee, we are 50/50 and i want her to explore life as it is. enjoy it and be able to have all the experiences that everyone else has while she is here in america.


I want a family of my own and in American culture that is how it goes and that is how it is understand by the parents. Their children will never live with them all their life, they eventually will get out there and have a family of their own.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 13:21:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

Every time I read your OP here one thing really bothers me...

There is a whole lot of HER THIS, HER THAT, ME THIS, ME THAT. I've read a few of your other posts and get the same thing...

Where is the US or WE?

In another thread you flippantly commented about using the "Paint job for your hood" money to pay DHL Fees, that in itself is nothing but taken in the larger context of your other posts (including this one) something is becoming very clear:

There is a disconnect between you and her.

If you want to fix things then fix that disconnect.

Some things I thought were odd (take no offense because I'm not judging, just commenting):

You have a Filipina ex-wife but seem to not understand Filipino culture very much.

Why would you leave a Sprint Phone that isn't activated with her? What use could it be to her, all phones in the Philippines are GSM (SIM) based.

In your thread about the FedEx shipment (went with DHL, good choice BTW), I already mentioned the money comment but there was a lot in there that just seemed like you hadn't given a lot of thought to what & why you're sending stuff to her.

For example:

The only documents you need to send her hard copies of are things like Divorce Decree, Affidavit of Support and supporting evidence that requires signatures or official seals/stamps.

Images, chat logs, etc can be printed by her for pennies on the dollar at any "Computer Shop".

This is a process that both parties should be invested in, if not then it will be 100 times more difficult than it needs to be.


I left the phone with her because she could use the android system on the HTC Evo and we can communicate like that. I know that she couldn't use the phone being CMDA, but she could use the WiFi. Another reason why I left the phone is that I can have her reprogram the phone just before she lefts so that once she steps foot into the states, she can give me a call and let me know if everything went okay or if the immigration is holding her up for questions. I understand things never go perfect so I am always prepared for the worse. One thing my dad always taught me.

About the hood, it was just a joke, well not really but the pain was how much everything costs when you are hit with everything at once.... like I was.. When I did the K-1 i knew she needed an interview but I didn't expect the medical or visa application fee. That is what hurt me the most because I over looked it. There were fees after the I-129F that I wasn't aware of. I apologize for the misrepresentation of how i worked my previous sentences.

Yeah I think we have a little miscommunication. Sometimes it is hard because of the culture conflict. I would think that a relationship
is going horribly wrong if there was "no" fighting or bickering. I keep talking to her each and everyday. I just hope that once she gets here
she will see that she has nothing to worry about. Her stress will be so low that she wouldn't know what to do with herself anymore.
Working 6 days a week at 13 hours a day not including the travel throughout Quezon City, Maktia and Manila would make anyone stress out.

The documents. I just wanted it to be perfect. I didn't want to leave anything out or make any mistakes. I know that she could have went to the computer shops and had it done but I am just scared that if there is a little mistake that they will turn her away. Nothing more than having to wait longer and those ones that had the RFE during their I129F application can feel the same way.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 13:17:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out
She honestly didn't want to come here because of the whole change. Actually I think that she could care less coming to the states. If I had it my way then I would move to the Philippines to stay with her and just live off disability. She is just scared of the whole changes that she has to make. Filipinos are very close to their family and I think it is devastating her to leave them for that length. Plus she feels that she has a solid job as a Private Nurse and she is scared to go from working to non worker even if it is for 3 or so months.

I have had a very bad experience when I was with my last Filipina. She had a lot of signs that I decided to forgive and it was the worse mistake in my life. She ruined my military career and still decided to cheat on me and file for divorce while she was in the states (don't know how she got there) with her future fiancee. I had no choice but to let her go because of the military dedication to dependents, she would have not made it easier for me. She would have did everything in the book to turn me to the dark side. She was a few arguments away from a shovel and a late night.

I have been dealing with Filipinos for 9 years now. I know the culture and I am also very careful looking for the different signs. After 9 years and a marriage you learn a few things. I really do not know how to explain to someone from a third world country that Americans are not always rich as the TV makes us look. The only reason why we can afford all the things in the Philippines is the exchange rate. Take that same amount back to where you live and your eating roman noodles and licking ice cubes for breakfast lunch and dinner.

She is just a little upset because my mom said that she will help us until we can get on our feet. Also, my mom has a 4 bedroom house and she is also disabled. I thought it would be better to stay with her because she needs help. She doesn't drive, she is having issues so having her son and her future daughter in law being a nurse would be a good thing and plus all the mortgage and utilities will be split down the middle helping us save for a future on our own.

She feels that since we are both adult that we should be getting a house and being on our own because that is how she is right now. She is on her own paying for her own house so she was pushed to grow up faster than a typical filipina.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 13:08:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

If you filed the K-1 and she hadn't talk to you in four months, I would be more worried about the lack of evidence. You should be getting an interview soon. Maybe I am missing something? You can just let things drag out a little, and maybe find a way to earn some extra money in the mean time. Sounds like she will be a real contributor after 3 months so if you get the relationship solid, maybe you two will do well...


When I met her. She was a very independent person. She didn't like people in he bedroom. I think it took about a month and a half before i was able to see her room. She is a very private person as well.

We have been writing back and forth and doing the whole birthday thing and we were conversational but it wasn't soooo personal but we kept in touch. Then one day she just decided that she still loved me, the love never went away.

I guess Filipinas are always hearing about american guys going over there and having our selection of women. You know like a Golden Corral Buffet. I can understand that because I my last relationship was in pain because she was just using me. I can understand where she is coming from..

I was just hoping if there was anyone who had some issues with their fiancee just before they brought her to the states. You know they would feel home sick leaving their family for at least a year.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 11:44:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out

Lesson #1. Stay off of facebook


Yeah I got away from Facebook. Me and her are totally off of it because it does seem that way. It is just another place for Drama.

I get enough of that watching ABC and those out of control Reality Shows like Jersey Shores.
I like watching other people with drama but
really want to stay away from it myself. I want to live my life peaceful.

I want snow on the grown for weeks and I can come in the house for a bowl of chilli and just smile at the piece and quiet.


acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 11:29:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out
She was just worried about the medical and everything. Getting everything done so that there won't be any issues with the interview.

She is 28. She has been on her own for the last 7 years in Manila with no family.

I think it is a home sick kind of thing. I kind of got the same feeling when I moved to Germany with my Army Unit. After a while it passed, but it does take a little time.

She is getting away from things that she knows into a new environment. Her life is so fast past in Manila and now that she will be moving to a country town with Military then it will be a little slower.

She was telling me that she was tired of manila and makati. Too many problems over there. She just wants to come here work as a nurse and not be screwed over as the hospital does to her.
She does a very good job taking care of people and even myself was tired of the hospital taking advantage of her.

I really want to take her away from that environment and let her enjoy life a little bit. She is a work a holic and she is just worried about everything becuase she can't work when she gets there, will take about 2-3 months for the AOS
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 11:26:00
PhilippinesFilipina Fiancee Freaking Out
I met my fiancee last year between May and July in the Philippines. I did not go to Pinas to just meet her.

At first she thought I was a playboy because I told her that I wanted to date other filipinas to see which one I liked, you know filter them out.

I was married to a filipina before so I was very careful about seeing the signs of a good or bad filipina.

Well me and my fiance got together and it was great until my ex-wife's sister found her on Facebook and started to harass her.

Because of the doubts and harassment, she broke up with me and didn't talk to me for 4 months, but then she finally came to her senses that I wasn't "that guy!"

Because she just recently wanted to get back together, I had filed the K-1 when we were still together but then we broke up. I thought she didn't want to come be with me anymore
so I didn't save up all the crazy fees that the embassy needs for her to get a K-1.

Now she is freaking out because I can't give her money on demand to get her the medical or pay for other small feels like police clearance right at this moment.

I told her that I just had a big bill for my school, I had big bill for insurance and then I just sent almost $400 dollars to pay for the visa application.

then now I have to save up for a plane ticket, for medical and to send documents to you. She doesn't understand that money doesn't appear magically
Told her that if you didn't believe the other girl and we were still together then those months we lost, then I would have had all the money needed.

$950 for one way ticket, $350 for Visa App, $250 for Medical, $160 for DHL shipment. Stuff adds up, money doesn't grow on trees.

I had to make her understand that because of your decision, you have to suffer the consequences.

Now she is coming after me because I don't have a job and I am still going to school full time even though I have VA disability.
I am trying to explain to her that my mom is helping and it takes a few months or her to start working so YES!
family does have to help a little, that is what they are there for.

Ironically explaining this to a filipina. They are the ones with the big family. You know 8 generations of family living in a 2 bedroom house.
Just that American families are a little different than the Filipino ones.

But she is trying to tell me that we must live on our own, we are both adults, yada yada. I told her! I know about being an adult, I have bee one for almost 10 years now.

I think she is doing this becuase she is afraid of leaving her "known" life in the Philippines and coming to a whole new country which is getting her all worked up.

Any way to calm her down?

Edited by acuratlsd, 06 February 2012 - 11:15 AM.

acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-06 11:08:00
Philippinesare passports taken after the interview?

If they don't take the passport they don't get a visa - Its stamped in the passport and they need the passport to stamp it.


Nu huh, That sounds so ridiculous... lol
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-05 08:43:00
Philippines{Saint Luke's Medical Center} Manila
What would be considered the appointment letter?

3) Appointment letter – Bring original and have the first 2 pages photo copied.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-09 22:12:00
PhilippinesWill they allow a co sponsor
I-134 On Questions 8, 9, and 10 is where you will declare your Aunt on the Affidavit.

Just a name and date submitted is all they asked.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-10 15:47:00
PhilippinesSmiles and Excitement Tonight!!

So tell us again, why can't she fly to US POE alone, and you save big $ from your airfare for the AOS? Just sayin?

Peace

:star:

Posted Image




If i was making the big bucks. I would still have her fly by herself to the POE. Not being mean or anything, but I think 1300-1700 dollars can be spent on something better. Especially when it comes to the AOE fee.

I am so glad that she is coming. I never want to have to deal with the Philippine Immigration ever again.
acuratlsdMalePhilippines2012-02-08 02:48:00