ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Africa: Sub-SaharanAnyone is sub-saharan interested in meeting ?
I could try and make it. Depends on the weekend of course, but the later in November the better.
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-10-20 19:09:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanOpening a business in your SO's country
QUOTE (Omoba @ Aug 29 2008, 11:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And yes, location, location, location is very important and also how we can set apart our business from anyone else in the area.


Omoba: I can't agree with this more. As you know from being in Senegal everyone is selling something and most often the same thing, and even more often in shops right next to each other. Probably is the same in S/L. So I do agree that location is important. But it looks like you have that part covered already. good.gif One other point: since you are looking to sell staples, like rice and other boxed or canned items, you probably won't be affected by the frequent power outages. I think you mentioned that as an issue in your earlier post with the failed ice cream enterprise. Too bad Stephen couldn't become the DQ of Sierra Leone!

I wish you and all the other starting businesses luck in your endeavors! Please report your experiences because it would be beneficial to those of thinking to follow suit.
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-08-29 12:52:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAfrican male culture...
By now I think my husband is understanding my sarcasm so it's not a big deal anymore. But early on, he just didn't get it. So I understand totally about the taking-it-literally situation. My issue sometimes with him is his tone. He will mean no harm in asking me to do something, but sometimes I feel like it's my father asking me. At first I found myself snapping back because well....I just don't like to be *told* what to do. However, knowing him, I know he's not the type to be that way. And any time I bring up his tone, he re-iterates that he is not trying to act like the "chief of the house." So I chalk it up the tone thing as a nuance used in speaking his native language. After spending time in his country I have learned to understand that sometimes peope just talk to each other differently than we might here.
taureanFemaleSenegal2007-05-09 18:57:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAfrican male culture...
Jenn: I have to say that my husband seems to be the same way with not talking about things right away, but I see this as more of a character trait than a cultural difference. In fact he and I are much the same way in that respect. If I have an issue or I am upset, I don't like to talk a lot either. Rather, I want to think about the situation and then talk.

Going into my relationship I expected so many cultural clashes to come up either based on my own experiences or hearing it from other people, but I am realizing (at least in my relationship) that the gap is not as wide as I thought.

Edited by taurean, 07 May 2007 - 02:22 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2007-05-07 14:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMuslims in West Africa
Zi Zi:

You are definitely taking the right approach in all of this (IMO). Talking to your FI about religion is probably best done in person, like you said. As Zainab said, this is an ongoing conversation and you won't be able to digest it all or come to any conclusions in one sitting. So for that reason it's important to keep the dialogue going. In addition, you may want to do further inquiry/research on your own into Islam in Senegal specifically. It's really quite interesting and probably will allow you to have a focus point for your conversations. For example, if you had some knowledge about the Serignes in Senegal and specifically your FI's Serigne then that would help to better understand your FI's philosophies and possibly start the conversation as to why he no longer follows this teacher.

Again speaking from my experience, I too was a little curious about how I would be received in a predominantly Muslim country, but I was really surprised at the openness in Senegal. I went there prior to meeting my husband so I was able to figure many things out without him near me at all times. I probably made some social mistakes, but luckily I had people around me to tell me the right thing to do. And they were very kind about it. Since you have been in Senegal I am sure that you realize that the people are very open. I wouldn't worry so much about making a faux pas, because Senegalese tend to understand that you are a 'stranger.' Also keep in mind that though Senegal is a predominantly Muslim country, they are not a theocracy. For that reason, one family's way of living could be vastly different from another's. So again, it is really important to talk about and observe what is going on in your FI's family to get a better understanding. I have learned so much by just watching and listening to my family over there. If I am an unsure in a social situation and hubby is there I will just ask.

I am sure that once you two have talked in October you will have a better understanding of his views. And please don't worry about what anyone on here thinks of your relationship. You have valid questions and concerns! It's really great to read your posts because I can definitely relate.

Edited by taurean, 22 August 2008 - 08:29 AM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2008-08-22 08:28:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMuslims in West Africa
Okay I am free!

Since I don't like to deal in generalizations, I will simply write my comments based upon my own experiences. If I were in your shoes (and this is what I did) I would sit down and talk about the expectations regarding how you two will practice your respective religions. Certain questions could be asked, like whether you are going to fast at Ramadan or whether you will recognize certain holidays and if so how will you do it? In my experience these questions were answered in a series of conversations rather than one long talk. Prior to getting married we had talked extensively about our respective faith practices and we both came into the relationship with prior knowledge of the other's faith because he has a whole side of his family that is Christian, and I have people in my life that are Muslim. Plus I just accepted the fact that this conversation will be ongoing because things do change. Once we established the expectations, there has been little internal conflict for me.

Based on what you've written, both of you seem fairly open to understanding each other's faith practices, so it should be easy to start the talk about the expectations on your next visit. Also make it clear that you accept who he is and support what he has to do to follow his faith practice. Make it clear that he should continue to act as he normally would. There is nothing good to come out of him hiding or holding back if you two plan to be married. We have succeeded thus far by being completely open about what we feel or our concerns about the differences. But I think the key is for each SO to accept and encourage the other to be a good practicant.

As far as hanging the pictures of the religious figures in his car (I think you are talking about the "serigne") this is very common in Senegal. Not sure that your SO display of his serigne or teacher speaks to how strict a practicant he is. Only he can answer that. You should probably ask more questions about that particular thing to get some additional insight.

All in all it sounds like you are both very open, which should work in your favor! I felt like I was rambling above, so if you have specific questions let me know!

And I am happy to know that there are other Sub-Saharan couples like us. I really thought I was the only one here...so it's nice to know we are not alone!
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-08-21 17:16:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMuslims in West Africa
I really want to respond to this message, but I am @ work, so what I say will have to keep for later.

Omoba thanks for the call from the forest.....LOL!
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-08-21 14:43:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMarried to a Nigerian and still together?
QUOTE (NigerLA @ Feb 4 2009, 12:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Idocare thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone. Although, I rarely post in this forum, I love stopping by to read the comments.

Right now marriage statistics in the U.S say that one in every two marriages ends in divorce. So regardless of what nationality your spouse is from, those odds speak tell the story. Whether you are married to a Nigerian, American, Canadian or anyone else relationships are always built on trust.

As a Nigerian man, it breaks my heart to read about the acts of my fellow Nigerians. However, not all men act the same way or with similar intentions. “Love conquers all” and I would strongly suggest that you get to know your spouses or fiancé and his or her family very well before marriage. I wish I could list tell tale signs of fraud or other signs to tip you off, but I don’t know any.

The only advice I can give anyone here is getting your spouse connected to people outside the typical Nigerian network. My dad always says “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Which might be your most difficult task will help insulate him from bad advice from his so called friends.

Not to say my marriage is perfect, but I cannot imagine under any circumstance leaving my wife. My wife has not worked in over a year because she was studying for the bar examination here in New York. It has not been easy, but The Lord blessed me with a great job and I have been able to support her and encourage her throughout the process and passed the NYS bar exam in November. I have not pressured her to find a job, because in God’s time all these things work out. I still do the laundry, clean the house and do everything else without being told because that is what love does.

My wife has met several of my Nigerian friends, (I don’t have many) and they are all married to Americans. With beautiful kids and have great relationships with their in-laws. Not one of them is divorced and they are all successful professionals in their respective fields. I think taking time to know the person and individual before making these decisions is the most important thing. It took me sixteen months to propose to my wife and another year before the wedding. We both wanted to make sure that this person was the one, because you really only get one chance to get this right regardless of the person’s nationality.

I love this forum and please keep sharing your thoughts. God bless.


Honestly, yours is one of the most encouraging posts I have read in this forum in quite a while. The way that you have described supporting your wife is very admirable. Send congrats to your wife for passing the bar!!

In order to be informed and to learn we need to hear the good AND the bad experiences. So I am always interested to hear it all, whether positive or negative. As you (NigerLA) stated above, marriages can crumble for various reasons. And as such, everyone should have a voice here, whether their marriage has worked or not. However it is nice to hear from those who are acutally making it work. It is especially encouraging to hear from a man about how he has made the adjustment. So thanks for writing your experiences here.



taureanFemaleSenegal2009-02-05 18:50:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFoods while in Senegal
okay ladies i am saying it.....ewwwww. allow me to retract my statement about being an adventurous eater!!!! blink.gif

Omoba: okay you called me out on VJ....I am headed upstairs right now to scan those pics of Maguette's wedding!
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-10-19 17:46:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFoods while in Senegal
I have insomnia tonight, so reading through this thread with all these rat references doesn't help!! Can I just say ewwwww....

Whidbey: If you are going to Goree Island then you will have to leave from Dakar. As far as I know anyway. The ferry for Goree leaves from Dakar and there is a supermarket downtown, though I don't think the cheese would keep during your trip to Tambacounda, maybe to Thies but definitely no further than that. So it looks like you will have to rough it while you are there. I am sure that you will be fine since you both cook.
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-10-18 23:01:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFoods while in Senegal
I am an adventurous eater so bear that in mind when I say this, but I love Senegalese food (and there are all types)! True enough the cuisine is very much meat based, but I do know that those same dishes can be made without it. If you are going to be doing the cooking you shouldn't have any problems. There are lots of vegetables available to buy. And I think you can bring pretty much anything to cook whatever food you like, though of course I wouldn't try to transport perishables. Since you are not in Dakar you won't have the benefit of a wide range of other choices for food. In Dakar there are alot of different types of restaurants, but when you go further inland not so much. Lebanese/Middle Eastern foods are very popular in Senegal so you will find a lot of vegetarian style foods like falafel and humus. However the further you are from Dakar the more scare are the establishments that would have this type of food.

I brought pudding, applesauce, cookies and things like that, which don't need to be refrigerated and those in handy. What I find is my family over there loves this type of stuff also! I always run out when I go there.

Omoba: You are welcome girl! You know it was our pleasure. wink.gif
taureanFemaleSenegal2008-10-18 12:03:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMy husband got his 10-year green card!
Congratulations!! Good to hear from you and that all is well.
taureanFemaleSenegal2009-08-12 18:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBeing real about marriage!!!
"Okay so you know trhat I'm trying/working to save my marriage. Well I believe his 2 yr green card will expire in May '08, and I'm having a hard time helping him. I suggested to him to do some things and he didn't, results nothing to show togetherness for this process."
[/quote]


I am sorry to hear about this as well. If your husband is not taking the necessary steps to improve your marriage as well as help with the removal of conditions I can see why you feel the way you do. What is he saying about not putting forth the effort in all aspects of the marriage? I don't have any advice to give except to agree with Boaz and say to take of you first. Best wishes to you. rose.gif

Edited by taurean, 31 January 2008 - 08:00 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2008-01-31 19:59:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBeing real about marriage!!!
I have been returning periodically to read this thread, and the subsequent posts have been truly enlightening.

Marlita: your last post pretty much describes my feelings. I like being the "before" person. If/when I am the "after," I'll deal with that and get through it. But like you, I prefer to concentrate on remaining a "before." I'd never say with a straight face that my man will never do X, or I will never have to deal with Y in our relationship. However, I do think that we have to the tools in our relationship to try and get through those issues. And if we can't.....well, I will still live happily ever "after."

Ogele: I really appreciate your post as well! It helped to provide me with a different perspective. Thanks...

As for the cultural issues that come up with us, I was pretty educated on many of my husband's cultural/social customs even before we started our relationship as a couple. So it would have been difficult for him to try and pull the "it is/is not in my culture" card and not have me call him on it. However, knowing about the culture and living with it are different animals. There were some things that I just didn't appreciate until we lived together. In some aspects I knew what I was getting into as far as expectations and all before we entered into a relationship because I heard and saw what marriage was like for other women from his country. In other aspects I was learning on the fly.

Even with some knowledge on my husband's culture I still find myself calling on Senegalese women friends to learn about the real deal, which has been the saving grace for our marriage and my piece of mind. So my biggest piece of advice to anyone that finds themselves in an International relationship is to find a confidant or two of the same sex, who is married to a man/woman of your husband's/wife's background, so that you can get informed, and have a person to vent to or ask questions or bounce ideas off. Believe me, if you can do this it's a true help.

I will say again, that I truly appreciate all who have put their personal experiences out on the table for the rest of us. It is never easy to reveal intimate details (at least for me it's not) to strangers. But I applaud those who can because it can help all of us in some way.
taureanFemaleSenegal2007-12-23 12:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBeing real about marriage!!!
This is a great thread, and very informative! So many have people have been candid about their experiences in intercultural marriages, and I for one really appreciate it. So thanks ladies! I don't really have much to add, as so many good things have already been said. All I can say is being real is so neccesary in marriage whether it's an intercultural one or not. I was talking to a friend about this sometime ago, but I think we as women tend not to be honest about the realites of marriage. We want to paint the best picture possible. However, being real about the issues that come up, is a much better teaching method IMO.

Southernchic: I am really sorry to hear about your situation. After following your story over the time I've been a VJ member, I was really pulling for you behind the scenes. Hopefully you'll be successful in getting your life back as you say. Thanks to you in particular for sharing your experience. All the best to you.
taureanFemaleSenegal2007-12-18 20:38:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSenegal Interview worries
I feel like I haven't posted here in forever. Hope everyone is doing fine!

attaya_girl: good luck with the interview!! I am sure all will be fine. To answer your question about Packet #3, I am not sure this is still the case, but it was not mailed when my husband was going through the process so we had to download the papers from the Embassy website and bring them with us. You can also e-mail the Embassy to ask them what the current procedure is.

I also wouldn't worry about the age difference question. Typically that question is asked when the reverse happens (woman younger than the man).

Edited by taurean, 12 August 2009 - 06:11 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2009-08-12 18:09:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRebuttal for Denial - what did you include in yours
You might want to start a thread in the Waiver section. You may get more responses over there.
taureanFemaleSenegal2009-12-04 13:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI-134 (affidavit of support)
deepblue: click on this link for the current (2009) poverty guidlines: http://www.uscis.gov...form/i-864p.pdf. Check to see if your wife meets the requirements right now. Whatever income she has can probably be used to determine if she qualifies. If your wife does not qualify, she/you will have to find a joint sponsor. The forms I-864 or I-134 (affidavit of support forms) include the requirements for a joint sponsor so I suggest you read that information also. Also keep in mind that if your interview will be next year, the 2010 poverty guidlines will apply.

Bottom line here is that none of us here on VJ will be able to tell you definitively who will be accepted as a joint sponsor (if you need one). Only the Embassy can make that decision. My advice: FIRST determine if your wife will be able to sponsor you based upon the guidelines above. If she is unable to sponsor you, then find someone else who is willing able to sponsor you and go from there. You may be able to contact the Emabssy in Ankara after your interview is scheduled to ask your specific question about the co-sponsor.




taureanFemaleSenegal2009-12-14 10:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI-134 (affidavit of support)
QUOTE (taurean @ Dec 13 2009, 08:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (deepblue @ Dec 13 2009, 08:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok am from nigeria but i got married in turkey and am filling my papers in turkey, can you help me find out from anyone if a friend can really be the co sponsor ... thanks for your help .



Are you filing for Naturalization? I am asking because your profile says "Naturalization." If so, as far as I understand you don't need to file an I-134 affidavit of support, so in turn you won't need a co-sponsor.

If you are not filing for Naturalization, which papers are you filing in Turkey? Do you mean that a petition filed by your wife is going to be sent to the Turkish Embassy? I am asking all of these questions to try and help, not to be nosy! It helps to have accurate information when you're trying to help someone.

If you will be interviewing in Turkey for an immigrant visa, then you should probably do some research here on VisaJourney about the consulate in Turkey. Maybe others going through or who went through that Embassy can tell you what to expect as far as the affidavit of support and who would be accepted as the co-sponsor.


Okay deepblue...forget all the questions I asked above. I see now that you are filing for a K-3 visa. I would still do a little searching in this forum to see what the situation is with the Embassy in Turkey. However, it seems that if you have at least one person sponsoring you who meets the income requirements then you should be okay. One tip that I picked up from reading through some threads is that the co-sponsor must meet the 125% poverty requirements for their own household and include you in that number.
taureanFemaleSenegal2009-12-13 21:01:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI-134 (affidavit of support)
QUOTE (deepblue @ Dec 13 2009, 08:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok am from nigeria but i got married in turkey and am filling my papers in turkey, can you help me find out from anyone if a friend can really be the co sponsor ... thanks for your help .



Are you filing for Naturalization? I am asking because your profile says "Naturalization." If so, as far as I understand you don't need to file an I-134 affidavit of support, so in turn you won't need a co-sponsor.

If you are not filing for Naturalization, which papers are you filing in Turkey? Do you mean that a petition filed by your wife is going to be sent to the Turkish Embassy? I am asking all of these questions to try and help, not to be nosy! It helps to have accurate information when you're trying to help someone.

If you will be interviewing in Turkey for an immigrant visa, then you should probably do some research here on VisaJourney about the consulate in Turkey. Maybe others going through or who went through that Embassy can tell you what to expect as far as the affidavit of support and who would be accepted as the co-sponsor.

Edited by taurean, 13 December 2009 - 08:45 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2009-12-13 20:42:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMoving
I have never been to either country you mentioned, but I have heard great things from others about Botswana. Apparently they have a pretty stable economy and government. Your potential move sounds exciting. Good luck!!
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-03-29 19:46:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhats the deal with Africans vs Blacks?!!
I keep typing and re-typing a response to this thread trying to write something that makes sense. Hopefully what I type here clearly represents how I feel about this issue. I think the *issues* that come up between Africans and Black Americans are deeply rooted in a lack of understanding and really knowing anything about the other. Most people on either side of the coin have not had prolonged exposure to the people in the other group and therefore tend to base a lot of their opinions on stereotypes, what they see in the media and anecdotal evidence from third parties. And typically this information tends to focus on the negative aspects of either group and rarely addresses the positive things and in some cases is just dead wrong. Further once people have that information, they tend not to explore further in trying to discovery similarities and commonalities in each other.

The only solution to repair the relationship between Africans and Black Americans in my mind is for people to open up their horizons and be more willing to be proven wrong. Easier said than done I know, but it's really the only solution.

To be fair this is a kind of loaded question and there are probably a myriad of reasons why there seem to be issues between us. My feelings on the matter are probably only the tip of the iceberg. There is a lot of work to be done to repair the mindsets on both sides of the equation.

To Ama&yaw: it sounds like you are getting a lot of third party information about how the family feels about you and your marriage to their brother/son. It may be beneficial to try and begin a relationship with your in-laws apart from your husband. Once his family really gets to know you as a person rather than "the wife" then maybe their minds might also be changed in a more positive way. If after that, they still want to hold on to their issues with you then I guess it's their problem, but I suggest not feeding into all of that. Perhaps talking to your husband in a way that kind of turns the tables might help. Start the conversation with something like "how would you feel if..." That seems to help me. Meeting the expectations of in-laws regardless of cultural issues can be a challenge, so all you can do is give your best and if that fails, you tried anyway.







taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-03 12:32:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while

I like to see signs that people noticed that we should also consider. I appreciate this.


I think being aware of particular "signs" could be helpful. But I have this question which I think MAY have come up in past similar threads: if you did see "signs" or "red flags" would you act on them? I sometimes think that by the time these issues come up we are already so emotionally connected that we are hesitant to cut the cord on the relationship. I ask only because I think I would have a difficult time cutting all ties after becoming so close to someone unless something came up that was extremely egregious so I am wondering how others would do it? Perhaps this shows my weakness, but I am just trying to keep it real.
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-24 19:36:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
Linguere: I am really glad you posted. I agree 100% with your point concerning knowledge of your SO's culture. Knowing about his or her culture may help in the adjustment process after he/she arrives, but it does very little in giving someone insight into another person's character. I really appreciate reading posts like yours and others that provide honesty and been-there-done-that perspectives about relationships like ours.
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-23 12:33:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while

Hi
Yes many of the Sub Saharan marriages don't make it. Some are fraud and some the huge differences in culture. There are some that survive. Most people when they get here and through AOS drop off VJ. The ones that return are often the ones that have had issues. You are correct about knowing the culture and family. I am one of the oddballs, we didn't met by the internet, we were introduced by a family member. So far things have been ok, the biggest issues is he isn't a animal person and had trouble understanding how we are with animals ,even the birds I feed. Hopefully things will be the same as we progress. I have seen the drama of people getting here and know that so many marriages don't end well. It surprises me how quickly some couples jump into the immigration process, and it is not unexpected that these quickie romances die when they are played out in real life. I am not sure what people can do to screen their future spouse in 3rd world countries. There is no way to hire investigators and families can go to great lengths to help someone get a foothold in the US. I guess I agree with you about the advise to study the culture. What books did you find the most insightful ? Maybe we can start a recommended reading list.


I keep coming back to read this thread because I think there is a lot of good stuff here. And even though I am several years into my journey, I feel I can always learn from others.

To NigeraorBust (and anyone else who is reading): I wanted to comment on the portion of your comment that I highlighted above. While I think books can be helpful, the biggest help for me in learning about my husband's culture was simply being around others of his culture. I was already in my husband's country when we met and had already had some exposure which I found helped me to deal with adjustments when he finally moved here. Plus I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with his family and friends in Senegal as well as people that I had gotten to know on my own and I found that sitting and observing and listening helped me to learn a lot of things that I amy not get from a book. However what I have found to be the most beneficial (and this i great if you are unable to spend a lot of time in your SO'S country) is becoming friends with married Senegalese women (usually older than I) who are here in the US. I can't tell you how much I have learned just talking to them. So as I said, books may be helpful, but to me, the human interaction goes a lot further.
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-21 09:45:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while

things like this scare me and even know i love him makes me feel maybe my love doesnt let me see the eveil in him.i trust him so much only wen i read story do i have doubts AM I CRAZY?



Lori7734: I think if you don't have questions in your head or some awareness that you could be in idocare's shoes then I don't think you are taking this thing seriously. In my experience reading here on VJ about the marriages that ended didn't help when I was separated from my husband while the visa process was going on. I can remember reading the negative stories and running back to him with an attitude. But I realized in the end that any questions that I had about the situation were not about him or his actions, but were more about the "unknown." So what I will say to you is that what you are feeling is normal, at least in my opinion. But I do think Enlighten One's advice is good: if your gut is telling you that something isn't right, then listen to it.

It is a shame that there isn't much activity in this forum any more. When my husband and I were going through the process there was quite a bit of activity here and all of it was informative, be it about the visa journey or the adjustment journey. I think I am one of the few people left that were going through the process as the same time as I was that actually post, and gratefully we are still together and trying to make it happen. I do wish that there were more "vets" posting because I think they could provide a lot of insight for those that are new in this thing.

ETA: I think reeses and I were posting at the same time. I read her comments and 100% agree with her. You have to examine your own situation from an objective point of view and then make your choice. And you should be ready to accept the consequences whatever they may be.

Edited by taurean, 18 May 2010 - 06:16 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-18 18:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNeed help on organizing information for interview

Hi,

I would definitely suggest no stamples, because when you hand them certain papers, even if they are papers that should be grouped together it is easier to thumb through them when they are not stuck together. I noticed our lawyer would send all loose papers (with tabs identifying), with a clip holding it all together, it's very easy to open but stays together.

There is a black/steel clip that fastens at the top of your pages (can hold a lot! or a little depending on the size). You usually fasten it at the top center, they can easily look through all pages but also open and take one out easy if they want to. I can't think of the name, you can find them in any office area store.

I also was trying to find a way for my hubby to have access to all the papers in a good order. Like I am wondering if anyone knows the order in which they ask for papers??? Tabs, simplicity, and you being able to find what you're looking for, I think that is most important.

I thought about creating separate binders, one for phone evidence, one binder for photos, one binder for affidavit of support, and one single folder for important docs like marriage certficate/birth certificate/and the forms you fill they might need. So I guess i would not use staples, but I cannot imagine paper clips are bad, if it works for you!

Does anyone else have a good suggestion?? I hope that helps.



It's been so long since we went through the visa interview process and we didn't go through Lagos, so I hope what I write here helps. I think on a first interview you are asked for different documents at different times. For example at the Embassy on the day of the interview, when your number is first called and you go to the window, one of the staff (not the CO) will ask for the birth certificate, police certificate, AOS, etc. Once all of the initial documents are provided then you took a seat and waited for the actual interview. And I guess at that point, the CO would ask for evidence of the relationship, e.g., phone bills, pictures, etc. As I said this was the process during our experience, but I assume it would be similar at most embassies.

I say all of that to say that it would be really helpful to have all the documents divided and tabbed so that they can be easily passed over to who ever needs them.


taureanFemaleSenegal2010-06-05 09:15:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Next
Boaz: I am FLOORED! I really have no words because I am in shock! My heart goes out to you and your little one. Please accept my prayers for continued strength and blessings in trying to move forward. You and your baby just do not deserve this! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-06-14 09:03:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanTo renew or not to renew?
I agree with the others, it's probably best to renew your US passport. From what I remember about the Dakar embassy, if the interview is on Monday for example, and the person is approved, the passport with the visa embossed inside should be ready for pick-up on Thursday. That is, IF everything goes as planned.

This process is so unpredictable, that I think I would wait until the approval happens before purchasing airline tickets. However, I do understand wanting to travel back to the US with your husband if he is approved. So if you want to take the chance, I would go ahead and purchase a round trip ticket for yourself, and then purchase the one-way ticket for your husband with you two departing Senegal on the same day. Or, purchase a round trip for you from US-Senegal, and then a round trip for your husband Senegal-US. You might come out cheaper doing the latter. If you take South African Airways I think they will allow you one free change before you depart, but once you are there and change your flight, you will have to pay a change fee.

ETA: Nigeriaorbust had the same suggestion I did about how to do the airline tickets! Sorry for the redundant information.

Edited by taurean, 18 August 2010 - 05:17 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2010-08-18 17:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNaija women on the lookout

And I think a married woman posting "I've had two Nigerian men try to scam me for money recently from a dating website," a bit risky on a web site open to view by immigration officials that may decide a relationship is not bonafide based on posting like that. Hopefully the husband can correctly answer the question about dating sites. Also I find the assumption that they were Nigerian offensive.


Well, the point you made above with reference to K&L may have had merit if she were married. But her profile indicates that she is divorced, so it really doesn't matter what her (ex)husband thinks or knows at this point. I responded to your comment the way I did because it came across as if you were trying to call her out and did not come across as you trying to advise her on what to post here about her relationship. It's possible that she made some assumptions about the nationality of the person that tried to scam her, but you also made some assumptions about K&L's situation when you asked your initial question.
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-06-09 21:39:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNaija women on the lookout

Does your husband know you are on a dating web site ?


I think your *question* was totally out of line. How is this any of your business??
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-06-09 18:33:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanInterview in Liberia
I was going to say congratulations...until I read through the entire thread. Nonetheless I hope the process continues expeditiously. It would have been nice if they would have been more upfront about the real reason for the delay. In any case, hang in there!
taureanFemaleSenegal2007-07-20 18:35:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Boaz: congratulations on the new addition to your family. Best wishes to you for a healthy pregnancy and delivery!!!
taureanFemaleSenegal2009-12-20 17:08:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
WG: Sorry to hear that the transition isn't going well right now. But with time and understanding things will get better. Right now your husband is facing the reality of life in the US. It's definitely not an easy transition. Reeses gave some really good and specific advice that I hope helps you. And even if it is expensive to leave where you live to go to a bigger city, it might be beneficial to save up in order to make that happen if even for a few hours. And look into (or have your husband) look into whether there are other Nigerians living near you, or if there are African restaurants or grocery stores in the big cities near you. Making a connection with a compatriot or eating food that you know can do wonders for a person's comfort level. As far the financial matters, the transition will come in time. Just urge your husband to exercise some patience.
taureanFemaleSenegal2009-11-24 20:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

I really wonder how it will be when my honey arrives. One thing is we have a son he hasn't even met yet so I guess he'll keep him busy for a while! I wish you and Pman the best!


Oh wow! Congratulations on the birth of your son. I hope you all are reunited soon!!!!
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-24 19:42:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan
We are still a work in progress so I can't say we have a "happy ending" as yet. In my mind we are still "new" in the marriage game. My husband arrived in the US in January of '07. We've been married for a little over three years now. Our first year was very difficult and stressful for a number of reasons including his adjustment to the US, our adjustment to living together, his bouts of homesickness, work-related stress for me, etc. None of this came as a surprise because it just made sense that it would not be easy to integrate our lives with all of the outside factors that we were dealing with. Luckily we have always had great communication, so over time we were able to compromise and try to understand the other's perspective. We have a come a long way in our marriage and I have nothing else to attribute that to but the grace of God and a wonderful support system. So overall I would say that we are happy. I don't have any regrets about the marriage and even if it doesn't work for us in the end, I am still glad that I took the chance. I have learned a great deal about myself through his immigration here and our marriage, and I think I am a better person for it. Hopefully 5-10 years down the road, we are still a work in progress.
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-05-23 12:52:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussionapproved K1 petition
Congrats on your approval!!!
taureanFemaleSenegal2006-10-17 14:33:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionInterview Results
Hi Sabine!

Just wanted to offer my encouragement here as we have been going through this process at the Dakar embassy together. I am happy to read that there was no outright denial! It seems there is still a very good chance his visa will be approved. I am really hoping for that. My thoughts are with you and your fiance during this time. I know you are anxious in the waiting but everything will be fine!
taureanFemaleSenegal2006-12-17 09:40:00
US Citizenship General DiscussionUnnecessary Stress
materpiece: I agree with so much of what you had to say, and I love how you expressed yourself in a sort of ironic tone. Good reading!! I don't think I really bought into the stress that can come about as much at the visa stage as I did during the AOS. I think I was too ignorant of the immigration process at the visa stage to be afraid that things wouldn't work out. So I guess in that case ignorance really was bliss. However, the AOS was a MUCH different story! The implications of getting the AOS approved were much more acute in my mind due to financial/emotional factors, i.e., hubster being able to work and feel like he could contribute. We checked the status every darn day, several times a day as I know everyone else did. After the approval text came late on a Thursday night (yes I still remember the day) we jumped around the house like kids getting their desired gift at Christmas.

Now some three years later and at the Naturalization stage, I am so Zen it's almost like all of that other stress never happened. I have no desire to check the USCIS website everyday to check the status, nor do I find myself wondering if we had enough evidence in the application. So my, my things have changed....in a GREAT way!

All that said, I can definitely understand the *crazy* that goes on early in the process because the stakes are much higher at that point. Many are separated during the process and I know that causes a lot of additional stress and misery. But like you, I do wonder if one's presence on VJ magnifies the stress? I actually think in many cases it has the reverse effect because there are so many people going through the same things you are that you can vent with and get tips on how to proceed if you hit a snag. Other people in my life had no idea....so VJ was a great tool.

Still I love the way you put things in your post!! Congrats to you and everyone else on reaching the final hurdle.
taureanFemaleSenegal2010-03-26 20:03:00
US Citizenship General DiscussionApplying for citizenship based on 3 Years Marriage/LPR

On both of those guides, it says Documents referring to you and your spouse: Tax returns, bank accounts, leases, mortgages, or birth certificates of children.

Is that all you guys sent? Just those documents or did you send additional docs?


The only documents we sent for the category of evidence with both of our names were IRS Tax Transcripts from the last three years as was detailed in the instructions. We haven't received an RFE as yet. But of course YMMV.

Edited by taurean, 29 April 2010 - 03:38 PM.

taureanFemaleSenegal2010-04-29 15:37:00