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Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

No second-guessing. Life's too short. Live it, learn from it and keep moving.

:thumbs: :yes: :dance:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 05:00:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

I found 7 different numbers, in his pants pockets and wallet (yep, he was that stupid for me to find them and yes I looked BECAUSE I did not trust him !!!) and when his cell phone bill came.... within the 1st 2 months. He doesn't know that I have his password to get into his phone, he had a message from one chic at 6:41 AM on say a Monday morning. We were at my sons soccer game and he left me a note saying he was at the movies ..........HE LIED !! He was at this chics house watching a movie !!! and I called her to find out the real deal!!!!

There is no way in HELL I would put up with that kind of behavior and dis-respect :angry: That is awful.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 04:58:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Here's the thing -- the whole immigration process DOES NOT allow us to really get to know the person as well as we (or they) might like. No bulls*&$ here..... My question is.....would ANY of you marry someone HERE, in America who you met and only saw face-to-face a limited amount of time?

Me -- NO WAY!!! But -- that being said -- I also believe that life is too short to not take chances. You are only given one opportunity here -- what you do with that opportunity is all up to you.

I agree - no way would we have gotten married (so quickly) if we both lived in the same country. We would have dated, maybe moved in together, got to know one another, etc... The ONLY reason we got married is because we had to in order to be together. It was a chance we were both willing to take. I was out of money and out of vacation days and not about to move to Jamaica so that left us two choices - split up and never see each other again or get married :o :P :wacko: Suprisingly enough, we're still married over 2 years later!!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 04:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

Amen sister!!!! :dance: :thumbs:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 03:59:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

understand that you have to be pretty much selfless for about 2 years. Sometimes a little less and sometimes more depending on how many cultural differences you have to tackle. You have to be able to understand that you are going to give and give and give for a long while with very little back. I can tell you that after these men get on their feet, understand the cultural differences, feel confident and full of pride again they will reward you with appreciation. The wait can be a long one and very frustrating but I can promise you that it does happen.
We feel somehow unvalidated unappreciated if others dont express thanks or appreciation.

Sara,

Very well said :thumbs: That was a huge thing with us when Tony first came here. I would get mad because I would take him out to dinner or take him clothes shopping or buy him stuff and he wouldn't even say Thank You :bonk: He didn't understand why I would get so mad and upset. Now, he finally gets it. He even thanks me (usually) when I cook dinner!!! I don't mind doing things for him at all - I just want to feel appreciated! :blush:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 03:54:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Do you mind if I ask, why are you allowing HIM to make the decision of whether he stays or goes? It's your life. If you are unhappy and feel that he is not doing what he needs to do in order to stay, why not just change the locks or something?

I know the laws are slightly different in each state, but here in Michigan you can not prevent your HUSBAND from entering your home. It is technically his home too because you're married. Everything that's yours is his and vise versa. You have to file for seperation or divorce and/or a restraining order to physically keep him out of the house. This is one of the reasons some women have been forced to take extreme measures (like Trinilad's friend) to get their men "deported". Just an FYI.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 03:44:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

i agree to disagre.....yes he did give up a lot to be here this is true...not going to take that away from him...BUT!!!!!! i have and a lot of other vj'rs have as well made sacraficed for the SO to come here.. like you said it is a 2 way street...i'm not going to continue to bend of backwards for him and try to make him feel needed and comfortable when being treated the way that i have been and am being treated....i'm sorry just not fair..

Of course, we have ALL made huge sacrifices in our relationships :yes: It works BOTH ways and both peple in the relationship need to make the other one feel loved and respected. Things need to be equal - both parties helping with laundry and household chores and such - even if only one person is working for now. No one deserves to be treated badly.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 03:39:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Okay, thanks. But what kind of store, health food store, drug store? How would I know what they are? (I'm sure they don't advertise this use. :lol: ) I know that some use golden seal tea. I think there's also a golden seal pill, is that what you're talking about?

I don't remember the name of the pills. The store I got them at is just some off the wall store that sells things like pipes, rolling papers, black-light posters, crazy jewelry, and other vast assortment of odds and ends. Because they sell all the ganja "accessories" I guess they figure they better also supply the drugs to get them OUT of your system!! :lol:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-14 03:28:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

You would ***think*** that if he WANTED to be here in the good ole opportunity USofA he'd be a complete a** kisser !!!!

He knows that he could be sent back at ANY time

I really don't think him kissing your butt is the solution to your problems!!! Is he supposed to be eternally grateful to you for bringing him here? :unsure: You guys were/are supposed to be in LOVE. Isn't the whole reason he's here is so you two can be together? If you expect him to feel "indebted" to you for giving him this "wonderful opportunity" that could explain why your relationship isn't working. Also, constantly holding it over his head that he he can be deported at any time that you get the notion to do so.

I'm not saying any of this to be mean. I went through some of the same things with Tony when he first came here. Many, many times I felt he should feel grateful to me for everything I've done for him, but it doesn't work that way :no: It has to be a 2 way street. He has to feel needed and appreciated too or it won't work. Not like you did him some giant favor by bringing him here. He had to leave his family, friends, home, job - everything he knew and loved - to come here. He made a big sacrifice too. I remind myself of this often :blush:

Edited by rhondapayter, 13 April 2007 - 03:20 AM.

rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-13 03:17:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

New list with Sarah's name on it :whistle:

Jax
Jonesie
Elizabeth
Lurissa
Rhonda
Sarah
Mindy
Shemanya
Squitto
Shauna
Anna
Dee

Hey, wait a minute!! I think someone changed the order around a bit :yes:

:yes: So true :yes:

Disclaimer: Of course by "they" I mean only the men that I know personally and have heard about personally via friends, relatives or media outlets. In no way do I imply ALL men of a certain ethnic origin, religious background or any other "group".



:whistle: :lol: :lol: Couldn't resist ;)

:lol: :lol: :lol: Jamie, that's why I love you :luv:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-13 02:55:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

I even delivered him two sets of those pills that help clear out your system - he took one before each test.


Hmm. Might need some of these. Where would I get them?

I got them at a local store near me. You could probably check online for stores in your area.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-13 02:51:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

...i asked him about it and he said they were friends....when i said ok lets call...he admitted they were girls he met..

Oh my Gosh!!! I'm sorry this is happening to you. It is my worst fear too :unsure: Did he say WHY he felt compelled to talk to other women??? What are you gonna do next?

Good luck with everything
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-13 02:34:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Personal question do most of your guys smoke? My husband has never in his life time and I am just curious what the numbers are. Most people I know don't except for like 1.

Never 1
Sometimes 0
Yes Indeed 0

Tony used to smoke sometimes. He was not a heavy smoker by any means. I smoked with his cousin a bit while I was down there and Tony barely hit it. I'm not a big smoker either, but I can't resist the Jamaican ganja! :devil:

Jax
Elizabeth
MyDestinyAwaits - Lurissa
Future Mrs.
Jonesie
Mindy
Rhonda
Shemanya
Squitto
Shauna
Anna
Dee

i don't think i ever said what my real name was...it's Lurissa

Thanks!

Edited by rhondapayter, 12 April 2007 - 06:29 AM.

rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 06:28:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

I can't really state it on a post what happened. Lets say I cried all the way to MoBay in the bus hiding it until the next day because another guy on the trip got stung by a jelly fish and had a near death experience. So I thought I toughen up until the next day I couldn't bear the pain no longer. :whistle:

Woman! Now you have piqued my curiosity big time!!! :unsure: You better PM me and tell me the story!!!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 06:22:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

I just can't understand why his mom would have 13 kids and only take care of 3. To his Birth mom :bonk: for not putting his name on the BC. Mr goodness.

OH MY GOSH!!! :o 13 kids?!!!! That's crazy.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 06:20:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Jax
Elizabeth
MyDestinyAwaits
Jonesie
Mindy
Rhonda
Shemanya
Squitto
Dee
Shauna
Anna

and i ain't too ashamed to say you can add me to that baby list. we both turn 30 this year and we're eager to get started. ;)

Hey girl, what is your real name again? I'm sorry, I forgot it :blush:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 05:56:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

another thing i just can't believe is that his date of birth is wrong! how in the hell can someone mess up a date of birth on a birth certificate for crying out loud??? isn't that the whole purpose of a bc? lol!

:wacko: Only in Jamaica!!! :lol:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 05:53:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Almost. I have an IUD. It's been working perfectly for 5 years. I don't expect to remove it, for at least 5 more years. So if it's god's will that I become preggers with it in i'll deal with it, but I'm not taking it out!!!!!

I've heard a lot about those, but never knew anyone who had one! Do you like it? Do you get any side effects? :unsure:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 05:41:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

....Lola goes EVERYWHERE Roy goes.....get this -- he ACTUALLY took the covers away from me in bed last night to make room for her under the comforter.....:whistle: :bonk:

It's all about the MONGREL!!!!

:lol: You have the most UN-Jamaican Jamaican man EVER!!! Tony would cut off his leg before he slept in bed WITH the dog :P
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-12 05:10:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
I'm sitting here eating macaroni and saltfish and calalloo cooked up with onions and peppers! :P Yummy! I love Tony's cooking!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-11 02:25:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

a tip for anyone with an upcoming medical who will be "fasting from a certain kind of herb": i bought a home drug test kit from walmart and left it with him with instructions to use the kit prior to the medical exam to ensure that everyting will be criss. :thumbs: lol

:D I love how you phrased that so tactfully!! My friends fiance (from JA too) actually went to his own personal doctor to get tested BEFORE he went to the actual Medical exam!! They wanted to make absolutely sure he was clean :whistle: I even delivered him two sets of those pills that help clear out your system - he took one before each test.

JAX
Elizabeth
Jonesie
Mindy
Rhonda
Shemanya
Squitto
Dee
Shauna
Anna


No way woman!! You're at the top now :devil: You said you guys were going to be working on it immediately after he gets here :innocent:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-11 02:07:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Good morning!!

Rhonda -- TAKE ME OFF the baby list!! Lola puked on my arm yesterday while we were driving Roy to work -- I told him that I can't even handle a dog puking how could I ever handle a kid.... :whistle:

:lol: Why was Lola in the car with you? You afraid she'll eat the house while you're gone? :devil:

Morning. I will be an act of God if I were to get pregnant :innocent:

Dee, are you "fixed"?? :P
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-11 01:59:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Most JA people I found won't jump from the cliff.

I remember I jumped 3 times in a row and then ended up in the hospital that was 9 1/2 years ago I was a crazy teenager. Ricks Cafe at least know they have a nice platform know not like the old days. So I understand why they were chicken.

I wouldn't jump from the high cliff but I jumped from a few lower ones :P Tony jumped off the high one though! WHY did you end up in the hospital??? :unsure:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-11 01:21:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

That McDonalds in Mo Bay shut down like 2 years ago. I couldn't believe it. Before then, I don't think I've ever seen a McDonalds go out of business.

I heard that McDonalds refused to buy local meat (from JA) so everyone begin to boycott McDonalds. The country basically pushed them out of business! :blush:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-11 01:13:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Sounds like someone wants Rhonda/Mindy to pull out the baby list :lol:

I will put my money on Jonesie :whistle:

Baby List:

Elizabeth
Jax (Belwin mills)
Jonesie
Squitto
Anna
Mindy
Rhonda :devil:
Shemanya
Dee
Shauna
The rest of the newbies soon come!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 05:32:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Check this site out its new to portables http://www.visajourn...ndex.php?auto=1 LOL it tells you the top JA posters. Mindy you come in 3rd Anna 4th :whistle: Yes Bored today

:P And ya'll say I chat too much?!!!! :whistle:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 05:11:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

FYI....just read in the local paper about the upcoming pice raise on AOS and citizenship....from how they worded it in the paper it could come as soon as june...from 325 to 908...

http://www.delawareo...D=2007704050352



$908 oh my gosh!

If I'm not mistaken, that includes the cost of the AP and the EAD too. So it's not that much more than it is now if you apply for all 3 of them.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 05:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

When Iffeisha cut those nails, she will be making her own bread. I am working on her getting some shorter ones when these come off.

:lol: :o :lol:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 03:43:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Do you guys find it a challenge when you take your hubby out to eat at a Restaurant that does not serve Caribbean food? Tell me I am not the only one who wants to pull my hair out because they canot find anything on the menu.

I am so lucky that Tony is not too picky and will try new things :blush: He was really hard to take out at first, but now he'll go anywhere!! I've Americanized him I guess :devil: He loves Italian food. He loves Chinese food. He'll eat Mexican but it's not his favorite. He can find something on the menu where-ever we go. Have you tried Chinese? It seems to be the most similar to Jamaican - lots of chicken and rice dishes, etc.
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 03:39:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Roy eats lamb??? Hubby will only eat chicken and fish. I am soooooooooo sick of chicken and fish is so expensive.

Tony eats anything :yes: Beef, pork, lamb, chicken, fish. The only thing he can't eat is shellfish (shrimp, lobster, etc.) because he's allergic to it :dead: He loves Italian food now!!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 03:32:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Easter Monday! These Jamaican and the holidays. As if good Friday was not enough. Don't worry in Trinidad they celebrate Easter Tuesday also so I know the feeling.

We got a 4 day weekend off work - Good Friday and Easter Monday :dance: I have the UAW to thank for that one I guess!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 03:27:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

I know many Jamaican spending easter in the uS for the first time are a little surprised how low key this holiday is for most Americans. How are your Jamaican hubbies coping with being away from home for Easter?

:yes: Tony still can't understand why it's not more exciting here during the holidays! We drove all over looking for a bar that was open on Easter Sunday where we could play some pool. Finally found one but there were only like 10 people in the whole place :wacko:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 03:24:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

So now that I have all these friends (am I so bold to use that word now?) across the US, I hope I can get the chance to meet some of you when I visit some of these cities this summer for Carnival. I am normally in Boston, Philly, Delaware, New York, Atlanta and Miami. I am hoping to add maybe 2 more cities this year so I can give that new car of mine some mileage. Does anyone live in a city that has an exciting Caribbean Carnival and plan to go this year? Don't worry, I am not going to be hitting anyone up for accomadation. I usually stay in a hotel.

That sounds like fun!! How can I find out if anything like that happens here in Detroit? I've never heard of it here so I doubt it :(
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 03:19:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)
Well, I'm back to work and back on midnight shift :angry: Going to catch up now. I have lots of pages to read :reading:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-10 02:54:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

My new father-in-law is an opinionated sweetheart that refuses to retire, drives a school bus and collects cowbells and pennies dated since before my own mother was born. My mother-in-law doesn't say much but bakes some great pies and always has something to wrap up for us to take back home.

Guess I am one of the luckier ones with no real issues with acceptance here.

My parents (and family) all love Tony but it took them a while to come around. I wish they could have come to Jamaica and met him before he came up here. My friend Jackie had her parents do that and it made things a lot easier. It's hard when your family can't even put a face to the name. Yeah, mom & dad, I'm getting married! Here's a picture of fiance! You'll meet him just as soon as he gets a Visa! My parents were like WHAT?!!!!!!!!! :bonk:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-05 12:55:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Girl I feel you about the emotions, I've just changed BACK from the B****H from helll lol!
Been sick from maybe 3 weeks pregnant though and STILL throwing up :(

I am SOOOOOOOO scared of getting pregnant :unsure:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-05 12:50:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Oh my gosh. & to think that soon I wont be just a visitor or vacationer, I will be FAMILY!!!! IM SO EXCITED.

I know what you mean. I feel like I'm part Jamaican myself ;) Everyone is jealous when I tell them I'm going to visit my in-laws!
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-05 12:46:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Question for you......Are you marrying an American man???? If so, dag I'm QUITE SURE we could bash the h*** out of OUR american men and NOT ONE AMERICAN WOMAN ON HERE WILL FEEL OFFENDED IN ANY WAY !!!!!!!

Damn straight!! When can we start? :devil:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-05 12:44:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

Jeez!

I sign off and go to bed and wake to find that not only has the thread been moved but something akin to Armageddon has taken place. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

:lol: I used to love that show :lol:
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-05 12:39:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

I ( and probably many others ) simply want the opportunity to begin to really live together as man and wife and make a go of our lives together completely, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm unable to. In a sense, I feel like you should be thankful, because you got what you wanted.
Tamisha

Hey girl, have you heard anything more about your case?
rhondapayterFemaleJamaica2007-04-05 10:58:00