Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Middle East and North Africa	Muslims	I stumbled across this article today and it seems it may fit in with your current discussion.... E Pluribis Islam? The fragile promise of Muslim diversity. By Irshad Manji | Newsweek Web Exclusive Apr 30, 2009 "At a recent event in India, I asked Pakistan's former president, Pervez Musharraf, whether he would support his country's tireless human-rights activists. He invited me to pose a different question. I didn't. "Sit down!" the retired Army general then ordered. Things probably won't get that tense when Pakistan's current president, Asif Ali Zardari, visits Barack Obama next week. But maybe they should, given the Taliban's growing reach and Zardari's plunging credibility. The two presidents will be joined by a third, Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan, a religious "moderate" who routinely barters away the rights of women and minorities to warlords and mullahs. As a reform-minded Muslim, I admit that these guys make the notion of diversity in my faith look laughable. Their track records underscore why we have to venture beyond geopolitical hotspots to fathom the future of progressive Islam. A year ago, I traveled to Indonesia during Kartini Days. That's when almost 300 million people, most of them Muslim, pay tribute to an early 20th-century Indonesian feminist named Kartini. Although a controversial figure—too revolutionary for some, not radical enough for others—the nationwide affection that I witnessed for her rivals the respect I observe each April in the U.S. for Martin Luther King Jr. I arrived in Jakarta to launch my book and film, both of which call on Muslims to embrace human rights and freedom of conscience for all. Hundreds of students showed up, ranging from transsexuals to Islamists. They spoke their minds. They disagreed. In between the verbal sparring, guitarists strummed, poets recited and dancers kicked up their Javanese heels. Nobody downplayed their conflicts; instead, they treated dispute as a necessity of democracy. Everybody left safely—including the most vocal transsexual, who proudly announced that after her surgery, she fought for the right to wear a headscarf. She won. My uncovered head spun at the layers of nuance being expressed. For all its promise, exemplified by last week's national elections favoring secular parties, Indonesia nonetheless flirts with peril. In only 10 years, Islamism has gone from being a joke to a force. Once an authoritarian state whose military quashed any inconvenient element, Indonesia introduced democratic reforms a decade ago. Since then, a free press has emerged. So has political Islam..." http://www.newsweek....d/195490/page/1	catknit	Female	India	2009-05-01 10:21:00
Middle East and North Africa	Muslims	Tina - I just had a VERY similar confab with my fiance last week - I personally don't know; however, the explanation you were given is spot on with how it was explained to me. I just thought it was funny that the exact random question came up!	catknit	Female	India	2009-02-25 19:02:00
Middle East and North Africa	Muslims	QUOTE (Ihavequestions @ Feb 18 2009, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (sandrila @ Feb 10 2009, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> you know what ladies...after going back a couple and reading you talk about the head dress. I see that alot of you have converted and wear them. Are there any Christian women VJers who cover their hair? I've been thinking about it myself..... Are you asking if there is a Biblical basis to cover? Or, if a Christian wife chooses to cover out of respect for her Muslim husband? There is a whole movement within certain denominations/sects in Christianity that advocate dressing modestly including covering the hair. Google "Christian Modesty" and you'll see a lot of options. As for just covering out of respect for your husband - that would be totally up to you. Discuss it over time and determine when, where, why, and how - also be prepared for some flack from others over it. It was one thing to say "I do this because of my beliefs/religion" it's a whole other ball of wax to say "I do this because my husband likes it/expects it". I know I'm biased on this due to my past but I tried to get work related responsibilities changed to suit what my exhusband wanted - it didn't fly and in hindsight I should have never asked. There were times when I did wear a scarf or shawl - like going to the mosque for family things or to speak with the imam or when visiting family who expected all the women to be covered - but daily life? Nope...	catknit	Female	India	2009-02-18 18:21:00
Middle East and North Africa	what can be my answer if they ask me this ???????	I know that you are concerned as Casa is a tough consulate. Tell the truth. But, please realize that many legitimate couples get denied at Casa. Many. Do research here so you are prepared for the next steps in case you need to take them. It would also be helpful to have your wife be prepared for what may happen by researching here. Good luck.	catknit	Female	India	2012-02-15 10:37:00
Middle East and North Africa	Very interesting article from a true activist	2.) her reduction of a complex issue such as the status of women's rights in MENA and the struggle for those rights as a simply a matter of MENA male vs. female misogyny. I think this point is so very important and unfortunately what makes a lot of articles/sound bites/journalistic stories so difficult. My personal opinion is that having long-form articles or segments on the news more than 1 minute in length almost never exist, never mind the advent of twitter, etc having made discernment of what is going on in the world, regardless of topic, nearly impossible. To be well informed, you need to really and truly put in the time, read numerous sources, maybe try to find talks/lecture series on those topics [with as many views as possible]. Some people do it, some people don't. So, in the case, here is a complex topic. A super complex topic. Mona has her leanings [self described liberal], her own personal experiences in Tahrir square, she's mad, and told she has X number of words or lines available to her. The resulting piece garners critiques [and in this topic who wouldn't be critical of any argument - someone who came along and said everything is sunshine and roses for women in MENA would be shot down in an instant too]. But, here's my main point, to get a flavor or feel of the whole picture one should be reading all the critiques, listening to the responses [like the interview posted here] and see what else is being said about the issue. And that can be so difficult depending on your lifestyle [screaming babies and screaming bosses come to mind]. Plus, from the journalistic stand point, boiling complex issues down into a easy-to-digest sound bite is currently the goal of a lot of media out there. Therefore, super complex topics can become so polarized that the topic itself seems to get ignored. I personally felt some of the response pieces fell into that camp - people took umbrage being classified in Mona's "us". Ok. That's understandable. But, what about some of the other faces of this extraordinarily complex issue?	catknit	Female	India	2012-05-04 07:45:00
Middle East and North Africa	Very interesting article from a true activist	I know Mona. I've known her for years. She is very passionate, more emotion than rationality at times, but her views certainly don't represent all ME women or all ME countries. She sounded very frustrated and exasperated - her passion and emotions came through clear as a bell. I think there is an inherent risk when anyone claims represent the feelings/experiences/expectations of any group. But, on the other hand, I think people by nature identify with their "group" and feel that their experiences are just as valid as anyone else in that group. Writing or speaking on behalf of your "group", especially when you have a means to [ie being a journalist], must be extremely tempting when you are so bloody pi$$ed off and angry.	catknit	Female	India	2012-05-02 07:55:00
Middle East and North Africa	May 2012	Pretty much, Mithra. It's mainly a Dom/sub relationship but not on the far edges of fetishes or anything like that. It falls into the typical rom plot of independent, naive/innocent girl who doesn't know she's beautiful meets Mr. Handsome/Rich/Sexpert. The twist being his fetish. Also, if you pay attention to the writing, syntax, some of the slang - you can completely tell the author is British which had me chuckle a few times. I know no American who calls dancing "throwing shapes". There is a LOT of sex is this whole series. So much so, that by the time I got halfway through the 2nd book, I just started skipping those scenes to keep the plot going. I know they are talking about a film version - the story I'd hope would be just one film. If they truly need to film each sex scene, then it would take 3+. Good lord, the main characters are like freaking bunnies!	catknit	Female	India	2012-05-17 07:31:00
Middle East and North Africa	May 2012	So........I start reading Fifty Shads of Grey and ..... 0.o wow Jax wow is a word for it Good to see you around....	catknit	Female	India	2012-05-16 16:10:00
Middle East and North Africa	Life/career change	Holy Cow NY_BX! That's a very generous PTO program....what type of industry are you affiliated with? Typically, I've seen across many industries what WOM has outlined - manufacturing, automotive, telecommunications, fine chemistry, industrial food manufacturing, some retail....[a laundry list of the industries and workplaces of all my immediate family and friends!]. The most generous PTO I've ever participated in had 2 weeks first year, 3 weeks third year, 4 weeks in the 6th year, 5 weeks at the 8th year, and 6 weeks at the 10th year. They also had very generous medical benefits and a "don't abuse it" all you need sick time benefit. This was a publisher. I was given a job offer by a local regional hospital that gave 24 days of PTO however that was inclusive of all holidays, any sick time, and any vacation time. As hospitals never shut, that worked out to the "typical" 10 federal holidays, 10 days of vacation [ie 2 weeks], and 4 days for sick/personal time. The HR rep went on and on about how generous the package was, ummmm no, it was pretty much "standard" as far as I was considered. Things like PTO and benefits can make a huge difference in comparing apples to apples [or even oranges if need be].	catknit	Female	India	2012-05-19 15:45:00
Middle East and North Africa	DO they deport me if my fiance leave me in US?	Aram - another option for you would be an EB Investor's Visa - assuming your family is wealthy as you claim and it is by their decision you've been asked to go to the US. I believe you must commit anywhere from $500,000 to $1,000,000 and start a company that employees at least 10. This type of visa has nothing to do with relationships, sex, marriage, or what not. It may be a quicker and easier road then needing to manage a relationship.	catknit	Female	India	2012-05-25 15:28:00
Middle East and North Africa	Abusive Relationships	[quote name='Beauty for Ashes' timestamp='1343844841' post='5575090'] And in some families it is the norm and YES if you witness it , you think its cultural.. I was completely and totally guilty of this thinking - but not with respect to physical abuse but more on the emotional/mental abuse side. About a gazillion years ago I would post occasionally here in MENA about my first husband [1st gen US citizen with parents from MENA]. We did not need to go through the whole visa thing as he was a USC. He was born and raised a mere 30 minutes from where I grew up. We went to the same university. I wasn't very familiar with MENA culture or Islam when we started dating. I had a few school acquaintances who were Muslim but no close friends.... We dated 18+ months before getting engaged. Saw each other a few times a week. Normal, "American" style dating. In no way did I ever want to offend his family. It was apparent that family dynamics were different in his household. Raised voices, questionable mockery and comments flew at the dinner table, items would be thrown during arguments. All of this was brushed off by him and his siblings as "Arabs are just passionate and like to debate". Had I dug deeper and asked more pointed and detailed questions, I don't think I would have continued in the relationship. If they hadn't been on their "best behavior" around me or if I had been more aware, maybe I won't have ended up in the mess our relationship became after all was said and done. A few things I learned during the course of our relationship [post-wedding] - my ex-FIL beat my ex-MIL [off and on over their whole 40 year marriage], the family was on the child protection watch list due to issues with some of the youngest siblings, my ex was beaten black and blue at least a few times for pretty minor chore-related offenses, there was a strong history of mental illness including a son who was/is institutionalized [from age 14, he's now 45]. And this was a LOCAL relationship. With that type of dysfunction, I really couldn't blame my ex for being a mess - I could, however, blame him for the actions he chose in how to treat me. Additionally, his failure to agree to go to counseling to modify his behavior pretty much became the nails in the coffin of our marriage. In general, he had manipulation issues, constant badgering and constant put-downs, and used money, "rules" from Islam, and narcissism issues to control me. An example, a simple squabble about who left out milk would have me being a "stupid c#$%" and any argument back would result in him becoming ill [vomiting] and needing me to nurse him back to health until he knew I "loved" him again. He never hit me - I'll give him that. But, again, HOT MESS. But, here's my point when you have the whole mixed-culture thing going on - I didn't call him out on stuff in the beginning thinking some of it WAS cultural [not hitting - but the subtle control issues before he went hardcore and wouldn't even let me see my own family]. Once you start to shift in one direction [oh, ok, you have to shop with me because I *need* a male chaperon], subtle escalations up into crazy-land don't necessarily seem that much worse or that crazy. And, again, I didn't want him to lose himself and make him unnecessarily WASPy because that wasn't who he was. Now, I'm in another multi-cultural marriage and it's a complete non-issue. Culture and religion aren't held over my head like a weapon - and they shouldn't be.	catknit	Female	India	2012-08-01 13:54:00
Middle East and North Africa	Addressing possible red flags in i-130 -- EGYPT	Hi, OP, it seems everyone else has more or less pointed out a lot of the flaws with your case and how they will be perceived. I'm addressing something a tad different. You mentioned your husband is an accountant in Egypt. I am not sure what you guys think he'll do here when he comes, but if it is being an accountant or any other profession, you may want to begin checking into what he will need to do. Professions don't always transfer from one country to another, especially from a country that has lost accreditation for its university system. At best, things will transfer and he will simply need to be certified here. At worst, you can find out he needs to get a new degree. Many people have had to redo portions of coursework. Just an FYI. Also, the clock sounds fun. Were your pictures on the face? Good luck. Excellent, excellent point! OP - if you're going to start re-evaluated how the two of you are going to go forward with respect to building a stronger case, establishing evidence, etc, this is another avenue to completely research. This is also a good time for him to soul-search. Does he like being an accountant? Does he want to explore a different career? Does he want additional education? What educational opportunities are available near you in the US he could be preparing for? Etc, etc, etc. I also wanted to point out that the posters on vj and especially MENA have seen some real train wrecks. It happens. The more you read here, the more you will see certain trends, situations that seem to come up again and again, certain countries that seem to have the same issues. I know it is overwhelming to see a ton of replies that cut to the heart about your relationship. But, please, keep in mind that the COs are hired to be suspicious, critical, and judgmental - they make the ladies here look like a walk in the park! The best thing you can do is read, read, read and then try to look at your information with a 3rd-party-unbiased eye. It's hard, but you need to think about your case as a legal argument that will be presented to a jaded and cynical stranger who happens to be government employee that HAS to follow specific policies and protocols. Totally do-able, there are many success stories here, but you got to be in the right frame of mind and really research how this all works. Best of luck!	catknit	Female	India	2013-02-18 10:28:00
Middle East and North Africa	Little Mosque on the Prairie	Yay for Little Mosque! We've only watched through season 4 and will be buying season 5 of dvd for our home library at Christmas.	catknit	Female	India	2012-09-25 16:59:00
Middle East and North Africa	Sultan's Kitchen	At Stardragon's party I mentioned making these this weekend for my Christmas cookie trays and a few people were curious how they came together...sooooo... No Bake Orange Balls [so 1950s it's hysterical!] 12oz Vanilla Wafers [like Nabisco's Nilla wafers] 1 stick of butter or margarine, softened [1/2 cup] 2 cups powdered sugar 6 oz frozen orange juice concentrate Sweetened coconut flakes [abt 7 oz], chopped nuts, sprinkles - anything dry that you care to roll the balls around in.... Crush the vanilla wafers into medium sized crumbs [I like them rough - adds some interest to the balls if you eat them within the first couple of days, after that the crumbs mellow into a uniform consistency]. Mix together the wafer crumbs, softened butter, powder sugar, and orange juice concentrate. Roll into 1+" balls - you'll get about 40-48 balls. Then, roll the balls into the coating of you choice - traditionally it's the coconut but I like to experiment. Part of me really really really wants to try Tang powder then chocolate sprinkles but I don't know what else to do with the remaining Tang powder! Refrigerate at least a couple of hours before eating - best if over night. Will live in the fridge about 2 weeks+ in airtight container. Here, in NJ at least, frozen oj comes in 12 oz containers so use only half!	catknit	Female	India	2008-12-05 21:16:00
Middle East and North Africa	Returning Petitions to the United States via 221g	Thankfully I have enough in cash assets to still sponsor him... No chance on the job [volunteer layoff do to economy] and with out the job no prayer in paying for the apartment. Just the most wacky timing EVER. I was completely prepared to go DCF - even wanted him to have the greencard on entry... Still sooooooo shocked.	catknit	Female	India	2009-06-20 21:26:00
Middle East and North Africa	Returning Petitions to the United States via 221g	Well - as you all know - I am/was dealing with a returned K1. I changed my address via the AR11 form and guess what shows up in my mailbox?????????? REAFFIRMATION NOTICE That's right - the CO and his no bonafides my a$$. Anyway - in an attempt to go on with our lives, I gave notice on June 1, gave up my apartment, and bought a 1 way ticket to Delhi leaving next Sunday. Damned if I do - damned if I don't...at least I have assets in place for the affidavit since I no longer have a job!	catknit	Female	India	2009-06-20 20:46:00
Middle East and North Africa	Returning Petitions to the United States via 221g	Here is a link explaining a new protocol that is being/has been [I'm guessing based on how the embassy decides to word the denial] for K1 petitions - I got this from an excellent phone consult with an attorney yesterday: http://www.dhs.gov/x..._2008-05-23.pdf The handful of us dealing with returned petitions from New Delhi have had a statement in the denial 221(g) similar to: "The Consular Officer has not revalidated your petition because xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, the petition has expired as of date xxxxxxxxxxxx and will be returned to the National Visa Center." As such, the interpretation can be - regardless of service center - the petition is expired. USCIS should not do anything - no NOID, no follow up - nothing. At least that's what this link and the phrasing on the denial implies. "For instance, K-1 petitions are temporally limited and may expire due to the passage of time. According to 8CFR 214.2(k)(5), an approved K-1 petition is only valid for four months. Consequently, in a number of cases, the K-1 petition will have already expired by the time DOS returns it to USCIS. Once a petition has expired, it may not be reviewed by USCIS. Furthermore, Petitions for Alien Fiance(e) (Form I-129 F) returned from a Consulate, Embassy, or NVC after approval may not be revoked, as there are no provisions in the law or regulation for revoking the approval of an I-129F." Just something that those of us struggling with returned petitions should know - this is from May 2008 and there is nothing stating that the procedures may not change yet again. But for now, this should be what is happening.	catknit	Female	India	2009-01-28 12:00:00
Asia: South	Hara Peela	That's excellent!	catknit	Female	India	3/30/2011 10:37
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Immigrant Visa Denied section 212(a)(6)(C)(i)	Can you elaborate on the "help with wife and kids" part? How long was your mother here? Are the kids school aged or were they infants? Were the kids enrolled in day care or nursery school? I think there is a little gray area with regards to displacing a US worker - your wife feeling emotionally overwhelmed by some random circumstance and wanting "family support" for 4 weeks is light years away from your wife needing to return to work after the birth of a baby and not wanting to put the kid in daycare so your mom steps up for 6 months. There could be some wiggle room. A good attorney may be able to work this out. But, be warned, you would need a VERY good attorney, not the first to take your money, if you know what I mean. Definitely get that FOIA stuff figured out first...see what was determined and then try to go from there.	catknit	Female	India	2012-04-04 17:35:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	K-1 visa denied at Delhi embassy.... 212(a)(5)(a)	Hey Ms. Sara ! So, OP, yeah - Delhi can be a tough embassy. Can you give us your back story? Any red flags? [Age issues, mixed faith/race, divorces, kids, short visit, too few visits]??? There are a couple of options: #1 - Beg the embassy to keep your file onsite and try to get a second interview right away. I honestly don't think I've ever read of that happening. #2 - Wait to hear back about your denied case - this means you wait for the USCIS service center to get back to you with one of four options. A) They declared your petition expired and your free to go ahead refile, B) They generate a NOIR/NOID and ask you to prove your case, C) They reaffirm you without any additional proof and send the case back to the consulate, D) The case falls into a black hole and you never here from them again about that case. A and D are super common - I'd say 98% of the time out of Delhi. C happened to us in 2009 and there were a handful of couple that it happened to - haven't read about it happening since at Delhi. I've never seen B happen - doesn't mean it hasn't, I just haven't seen it here. #3 - Decide to marry and go ahead and file the CR-1 [I130]. If you do this you need to send a letter to your service center withdrawing the former petition [unless they have confirmed it is expired and that you are open to file a new case]. If you go with this method, you have got to make sure you covered whatever caused the denial in the first place - lack of face time? Spend more time there. No proof of some of the traditions that are gold standard to India - do them. You need to prove that you have a legit relationship. This is hard for Delhi mainly because it is a high fraud embassy. Crazy stuff happens there all the time. I remember sitting watching dozens of interviews - long story but if you look through my older posts you'll see I spent a lot of time in the embassy - seriously, some of this couples you'd think WTH??? A young guy [couldn't be over 24] with acid washed jeans, long hair, graphic shirt holding hands with a 40+ chunky white chick with a perm and a mullet who couldn't wait to bring him home to Nebraska after falling in love in an online game - now, they may have the best relationship in the world. Seriously - you never know - they could completely "click" personality-wise. But, you could tell the CO wasn't buying it. The woman was on the edge re: child bearing age and that's a HUGE thing in Desi culture - there WILL be grandkids. The guy's English was butchered at best - and they just didn't "look" the part. She was head over heals, that was obvious. The guy? Not so much. Maybe he had a case of the nerves. I don't know...even me, Miss Hopeless Romantic, got bad vibes on that one. And, keep in mind, the COs are trained. Cultural rules, religious rules, family expectations, some speak flawless Indic languages... Anyway - which ever route you go - GO TO THE NEXT INTERVIEW. I can not stress this enough. Anytime anyone asks me my opinion of attending an interview at Delhi, I always say yes. Both Desi, both Hindu, arranged marriage that was set 4 years ago - sounds like a slam dunk - GO TO THE INTERVIEW. Mixed couple, met at work, reams of proof of the relationship - GO TO THE INTERVIEW. Your marriage was on a reality show on NDTV about over the top weddings - still - GO TO THE INTERVIEW. There are two reasons - you can answer any question that crosses the CO's mind, there and then. Secondly, you are there to hear exactly what the CO wants, questions, get the vibe of what happened etc to help plot your next steps if needed. We hit this speed bump, made some decisions, went on with life, built a stronger case [that was great for us personally but due to the reaffirmation we didn't need to "prove" on paper], he finally got his visa after 2 interviews, all new reports/pcc/medicals twice, 3 rounds of AP, and 18+ months from our NOA1 [I think]. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it just may be a long and annoying tunnel.	catknit	Female	India	2013-03-02 23:05:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & Procedures	K3 Spouse Visa Filing	As you are currently in the US you won't be filing for a visa but to adjust status. I believe you'll be sending in the AOS [I-485] and I-130 paperwork at the same time. As long as there is nothing questionable in your past [overstays of visas, criminal record, etc] many people are able to fill out the paperwork and do the process on their own. Please read through the guides here. They are very detailed and straight forward. Best of luck!	catknit	Female	India	2011-07-13 12:09:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	2nd Letter of Intent to Marry?	My understanding is that all of the Indian Consulates are tough - a lot of fraud historically. We just got our NOA2 and I'm starting to get all the paperwork together. I'm doing the new letter of intent as well as letters from friends and family showing the bona fides of our relationship. My theory is well chosen [not just volume] of evidence to be sent in to VFS. I want to have as ironclad of a case as possible to send them from the get go. Also, I will be getting my congressman and senator all the info and release form prior to the interview too - then again I have OCD. Check out the Asia:South forum for some consulate reviews and the consulate reveiw section too.	catknit	Female	India	2008-08-11 20:09:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K-1 Visa	Wow - I find it suprising the university signed off on you studying on a tourist visa; for the record it isn't their call on allowing you to study under a tourist visa that's more an MHA issue - did they ask you to register with the FRRO at all? You need to be super careful with respect to the 180 day rule or you'll be begging, pleading, and paying for an exit visa. You may want to think about switching over to a student visa the next time you're in the US. Then again, given you've already flouted Indian visa laws, the Indian Embassy may not sign off on it [namely how could you be a 2nd yr student without having been a 1st yr student - a little research and TADA they know you were on a tourist visa]. [Total aside, the Indian embassies are getting more and more difficult to deal with - I know of a lot of people getting denied business and employment visas - not sure if it's a political backlash of some sort]. Also, I know people who've had a 5 or 10 year tourist visa and repeatedly left and entered who finally got pulled aside at the airport and given the third degree about what they were doing because it's painfully obvious you're living there when you've been staying in India 350 days out of a 365 day year. Anyway, to your question at hand, the Indian Visa is an India issue. I highly doubt it will come up and having the university mention that they were aware and agreed to it may be a good thing. They will be much more concerned with your Indian fiancee and whether she's had a visa to the US and overstayed or had any other visa issues with other countries [I think that's a question on one of the forms - but it would be for her, not you].	catknit	Female	India	2009-08-22 13:22:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	Fiancee Visa Petition Denied and being returned	New Delhi can be quirky. We just [I say just but from the time I filed the application is now over 18 months, we're just over 12 months since the first interveiw] went thru/are going thru this..... I'm the one Sara's talking about. In our case, we had reg flags - recent divorce, only one visit, mixed relationship. We were denied after 2 sets of AP at the end of last year [with what they CO was requesting it looked like they were trying to prove fraud - which isn't true but "gut feel" must have pointed that way to the CO]. I begged and pleaded to have the case kept in Delhi, requested a second interview that I would be present for [thru the embassy itself as well as asking my congressman's and senators' liaisons to request the same], took consultations with attorneys to see if there was ANYTHING that could be done. In our case, nope - nothing, case returned to VSC. We changed gears and planned to do DCF but shockingly VSC re-affirmed our petition in a mere 5 months. I was explicitly told by my congressional liason that they were working on cases from 2004 and that we were being accused of trying to set up a marriage of convenience - hence the plan to move to India and follow all the regulations for a marriage under the Special Marriage Act here since we figured the K1 was all but dead. This is what I suggest - and please keep in mind your mileage will vary GREATLY. If the case is still in Delhi and you can get here, you can try at the consulate to see if they will overturn the decision. This is a longshot. A very very long shot. I have yet to hear of anyone pulling this off at Delhi. If the denial states that they denied based on not proving a bona fide relationship there is [sort of] good news. You can marry and file a CR1. It's great you had pics of the party. I take it the party itself was maybe 8 or so months ago [looking at current NOA2 timelines]? How plentiful were your communication records? Daily calls? Daily chats? Daily emails? It's important to have that too - and not necessarily print outs of each chat or email but a print out of the inbox records showing the emails or the chat log. One of things someone researching Delhi or any of the Indian Consulates will see time and again is "They asked for engagement party pics and we didn't have one!!!" - well, anyone can have a party. I'm not saying that to be mean and evil - but if that was the crux of your case the CO may come to that exact conclusion. I forget the exact timings - maybe 3-4 pm on all weekdays - but you can call and try to talk to a CO. Maybe they can shed more light on what happened. Just out of curiousity, what did the CO look like? I've been in the consulate more times than I want to count over the last 5 months and have spoken to a few COs. One said to me, point blank, that K visas [both K1s and K3s] are given extra scrutiny because they are rife with fraud. He also said that it made a big impact that I had come in to inquire on what was happening in person but that I was staying with my fiance trying to move forward [though he did admit with the K1 reaffirmed we were stuck in limbo until it was approved]. You can always pm me for more info if you like!	catknit	Female	India	2009-10-22 08:46:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	Slammed at New Delhi	Dehli can be a tricky consulate to get thru...please be warned that you are in for an uphill battle. Even though we had a reaffirmed petition [which is rare] we were asked why we hadn't yet married in a very curious manner...with me present they were not hugely mean or anything. I would reccommend to anyone going thru Delhi with any red flag - make EVERY attempt to go to the interview with your fiance/e. They are looking for relationships to fit very tight criteria. One of many trips to the consulate I was able to witness a CR1 applicant get drilled on why she wasn't wearing her bangles even though her marriage was less than a year old, how tradition states bangles should be worn for the first year, etc etc - the interveiwee went on to explain that she worked for a large MNC and that most of the young women wore western dress and that she and her husband had decided that after a few months she could refrain...well the CO went on and on about it - I get wanting to separate the wheat from the chaff and all that but the questioning was loud and harsh enough to make me easily 15 feet away bristle.	catknit	Female	India	2010-01-30 20:49:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	USEM @ New Delhi - Passport Pickup	Anyone knows if New Delhi US Embassy allows passport pickup next day? because My wife and i will be flying after her interview, so we kind of need the passport, therefore would like to know if they will allow us to pickup the passport rather than mailing it out. Thanks in advance. You can pick up at the BlueDart facility at Nehru Place. It may be the next day or even a few days later - just ask the CO at the interview. There is no way to pick up the passport at the embassy - everything is routed through BlueDart.	catknit	Female	India	2010-09-14 18:56:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	New Delhi embassy - how did you get there?	If VFS has bus service - you'll need to time everything out as VFS is in Nehru Place, not exactly super close to the US embassy. Each time we went we either went via bus/metro or rickshaw [or a combo of the 3]. There should be a metro station on Aurangzeb Rd, about 1km from the embassy. There is no taxi stand right by the embassy but there is a small market not too far off with taxis available. [There's this area with trees right next to the embassy where families wait on their loved ones - you can ask there for directions to the market area - it's a small market with a line of shops that make copies/faxes/take passport sized photos - I can't find it on google maps but it wasn't far maybe Panscheel Marg?]. We'd usually walk toward CP [not super far] when leaving and within 5 minutes we'd be in an area where rickshaws are easier to find. Having a car and driver on call would be great but depending on a laundry list of factors you can't control, you may be there all day or you may be out in 45 minutes. Make sure the driver is aware of that...He may need to keep busy for 8-9 hours...	catknit	Female	India	2011-07-11 14:06:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	Refused visa after 16 mos. AP after Senatorial Inquiry	Sorry to hear your bad news Ebunoluwa! There is a sticky in the MENA forum detailing what happens when a case is returned. Chances are it would have been under 221g or the 212 labor certificate catchall that COs use when they deny based on relationship bona fides. In general, NVC does very little with K1 visa petitions whether the case is coming or going. I have yet to see a case where a returning petition magically got returned back to the embassy from a decision made at NVC. It just isn't something the NVC does, they don't have the power to adjudicate anything in the petition as that is USCIS' job. 16 months of AP is excessive. Is AP normal for Cyprus? Historically, CSC expires out returned K1 cases. That's not to say there isn't a chance at a reaffirmation, but I'm not sure I've ever seen one come through on vj. CR1-IR1 cases do get re-adjudicated when returned, but K1's can and do expire. So, please keep in mind that you may get an expiration notice and not a NOIR/NOID.	catknit	Female	India	2012-07-17 07:29:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	221 (G) for spouse applying L2 Visa	Talk to your employer's human resources/lawyer. As this is an intra-company transfer, their legal team should be able to handle your questions. It does sound odd as her passport should be fine - possibly there has been a clerical error at the consulate.	catknit	Female	India	2012-11-17 20:05:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K1 visa refused after 2 months from interview	Thanks a lot for your post. I feel the same, if we would have filed it in India, there would have been more chances of approval. Anyways moving forward, I have received a letter from the Consulate which reads that "Your case is sent back to USCIS for further investigation and adjudication as the officer determines that you have failed to show clear relationship between you and the petitioner". My fiancee called USCIS in California and they said that decision on your case is still not made and we will let you know as soon as we make any decision. It can take upto 120 days for the reviewing process. We were planning to get married in February but now I am confused if we should wait or just get married and file CR1. "...failed to show a clear relationship between you and the petitioner". That puts the CO square into my second camp - no clue about arranged/traditional marriages. Historically, CSC expires out returned K1 petitions. It usually took a few months and the petitioner would get a letter stating that the cased was closed due to the expiration date and that you are free to file a new case. I'd do a couple searches here at vj and see if you can come across any topics confirming that CSC is still expiring out returned K1s just for your own interest. Because you are marrying, your K1 will be dead regardless. The act of marrying makes that petition completely moot. Going forward, you would then start a brand new case [CR-1]. Your fiancee should send a letter to CSC stating you are withdrawing the K1 petition due to your marriage- yes, they will probably close it anyway [and send a letter stating so] but you want to make sure that you have covered your bases and are not setting up any questions as to your status [fiance vs spouse] especially since you are marrying in February. You should front-load the CR-1 petition [again, search here so that you can see examples of front loading]. I'm sure you are conflicted about waiting out to see what CSC says and you know that you are setting yourself us for another 9+ month wait with the new petition. I wish I could tell you what makes the most sense or EXACTLY what will happen. But, like so much of this process, it is a ####### shoot. I can reiterate that most of the time CSC has expired out the cases. If you wait to see if the letter comes in, you've just lost possibly a couple of months of time your new petition could have spent working its way through the system. If you don't wait, marry, withdraw the K1, open a new case - and boom, in comes a re-affirmation - I know you'll then think "gah - I just did all of this for nothing!". The only reassurance I can give you with respect to going ahead with the marriage in February is that the CR-1 is a much easier path once you get to the US - no adjusting status, no waiting to travel, no waiting to find work and less fees [AOS from K1 is $1070].	catknit	Female	India	2013-01-08 09:49:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K1 visa refused after 2 months from interview	Firstly thanks for your post again Catknit, Yes my fiancee is Indian by origin and this is arranged marriage. One of our common relative in US introduced me to my fiancee and then we started talking to each other on the phone/skype. After talking for about a month we both decided to meet in India. I flew to India when my fiancee was already in India on a holiday. We met in India and decided to get engaged. Then her mother came to India for the ceremony. She left to the States after about 10days after the Engagement and I came back to NZ. Our families never knew each other and never met before our Engagement. I submitted quite a lot proofs of the relationship to the Consulate which were, Pictures before and after engagement, Pictures of me and her with her family and my family, Picturs of the traditional Engagement ceremony, Video of the Ceremony, Skype screenshots and call history, Voip call history that I used to call her, Pictures exchanged through text messages, screenshots of the text messages(random), Call history of her landline phone in US and the gifts and cards that we sent each other on birthday and valentines. She called her congressperson before I got call from the CO about the visa refusal. Congresswomen emailed CO and they informed her after informing me that this relationship doesn't look like a genuine relationship and thats why officer didn't took the risk to issue him the Visa. I am still waiting for my documentation and letter from the CO. Congressperson adviced us to file K1 again or get married as this petition must have been expired by now. Me and my fiancee are waiting for the letter from the CO so that we could decide what we should do, appeal or just get married. Its quite stressful now, and we really can't wait any longer for this process.(Losing PAtience) It would be great if they re-adjudicate my case but I just dont want to wait another 6 months and get a refusal when we could have got married legally and filed for CR1. Also, I had no pictures of myself with any girl on any social sites and I was last active in 2010 on that social site, it said on the page. I just had few girls in the friend list. Is this relative common to both of you? This could have tipped off the CO into thinking "aha - sham!". Even though in India, this would be a normal way on how you find a spouse for many families.... Here's the deal - nothing I see [not that I'm a CO, just have spent years looking at problem cases here on VJ typically dealing with India as well as spending darn near a year in Delhi fighting with the consulate to get my husband here - watching 10-20 interviews a day each day I sat in the Delhi consulate waiting to talk with a CO about our case, etc,etc,etc] would have gotten you a refusal had you interviewed in India. Water under the bridge...you can't get this horse back in the barn as they say. Anyway, onward and upward - going for the CR-1 is a good idea in your case. You'll want to marry legally and then formally withdraw your K1 petition. This is done by writing to the USCIS center that originally approved your petition [and is currently waiting to receive your returned petition]. If by absolute dumb luck, you get reaffirmed before the marriage [which it sounds like you are aiming to get done ASAP], still go ahead and withdraw the petition as soon as your marriage is formalized. Having a reaffirmed petition will only bolster the validity of your relationship. In general, having USCIS come back and tell the embassy "ummm, no, really this petition is fine, re-interview him" short of having crazy proof beyond a shadow of a doubt - signed declarations of paying for a green card with pics to boot - a CO won't re-refuse based on the same issue. USCIS trumps the CO if the CO can't prove their findings with additional evidence the 2nd time around. Or, if you do something completely silly between now and a new interview [commit a crime, lie/misrepresent yourself/etc] that could lead to a second refusal. ***This would be a rare occurrence, but I just wanted to make you aware that if a reaffirmation came through, it would only be to your benefit even if you withdraw the K1 - it would be part of your case history*** I'd also recommend as much face-to-face time as possible. Again, you're at a random disadvantage being in a traditional relationship set up and going through a consulate that isn't used to seeing that. From the "western" perspective an arranged marriage can seem like a business agreement/transaction and in the eyes of a CO not familiar with how these things are set up that means scam. You'll want to document as much as you can and front load your CR1 petition when you file. Edited by catknit, 03 January 2013 - 10:40 PM.	catknit	Female	India	2013-01-03 22:38:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K1 visa refused after 2 months from interview	* The only red flag at this moment I can think of is the fact that I met her once and that was only for about 10 days. That is the only thing that I can think of. I will perhaps get a much better idea--if I get to know the reasons why the OP was declined his visa. Also, Upgrade2012, I would be grateful to you if you can provide further information on your visa issue and I will look forward to any suggestion from you since you are in a similar position to mine ( in terms of you being an Indian citizen legally living in New Zealand). Get in another trip pre-interview BUT most likely with her coming to see you instead of you trying to enter on a B1/B2 while finishing up a K1. Again, not to beat a dead horse or that I'm necessarily in agreement with the bias, but Indian nationals get more scrutiny due to past fraud issues. You can read here and I'm sure someone will chime in a say "but he CAN visit" because you have a valid tourist visa [and really a 10yr? the visa gods were on your side that day]. Yeah, you can try to visit again and I'd even give you a 75-80% chance of making it through CBP. But, with the costs and travel time invlovled, I think having her travel with a 98%+ chance of getting into NZ makes a ton more sense. I'm hoping the OP will return and update what's going on.	catknit	Female	India	2013-01-03 14:44:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K1 visa refused after 2 months from interview	Well leonidas - you pose some very interesting questions. What I think - and yeah, just a stranger online who been through the visa thing including a K1 refusal, reaffirmation, etc. I don't think there is any issue with taking your interview in NZ per se. You legally are in NZ and have a method to stay in NZ over the long haul. I get your concerns of consulate shopping, etc but obviously you had enough ties and projected yourself in such a way that you've been able to get a tourist visa to the US. That is not an easy feat for the average single Indian guy [lots of people get denied tourists visas in India - lots]. What really jumps out to me is meeting your SO online and it appears that you only met her once??? Again, it's up to the CO and whether or not your case "makes sense". Are there pics with family and friends? Pics of "everyday" life [meals together, hanging out at her place...]? Or, do you just have a couple of popular landmarks with the 2 of you standing awkwardly in front? This is what's so hard about being able to figure out what may or may not happen. Each case is different and something you think maybe insignificant may in fact be huge. Or, something you think is huge may be completely insignificant. Also, each CO has their own "gut". You may pass through the interview with flying colors...or you may get a refusal. It's sort of a game of "the total is greater than the sum of the parts". Do you have any additional red flags?	catknit	Female	India	2013-01-02 22:25:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K1 visa refused after 2 months from interview	Huh. Ok, so she's ethnically Indian also? Is this a love marriage or an arranged marriage? How did you meet? Is there a long standing family relationship [both families lived in the same colony back in India??? - both sets of parents are old school chums???]. Things that are sometimes seen as sketchy - her brother is your boss, your landlord is her cousin, things that would classify as more "business" style relationships get more scrutiny. I ask because the exact opposite of what I mentioned can also happen - a CO with no clue as to how the whole traditional desi marriage thing happens will look at an arranged marriage suspiciously, especially if there was online proof that either one of you had a social life outside of uber-traditional/ultra-conservative biases [sort of the thought that if this young guy will agree to an arranged marriage but seems like he was playing the field a couple of years ago maybe all of this is a sham - added to the mix would be the fact that your case was probably the only "interesting" case that week or month since it falls outside of the typically "western" relationship norms if it is an arranged marriage - plus it is NO secret that there is high fraud issues out of India - to a CO, this could just be yet another marriage of convenience]. Also, let me state unequivocally - this is ALL speculation. Did you provide pics of the engagement ceremony? Families meeting pics? Etc, etc? I ask because of what happens next - the return of your file. When a K1 gets sent back, it goes to the service center from which it was originally approved [based on the residence of your fiancee]. In general, files that are returned to CSC [California] are allowed to expire. In that case your fiancee will receive a letter stating the case has expired and you are free to file again. If your case is returned to VSC [Vermont], there is a chance it will be re-adjudicated which can lead to a request for more info [a letter called at Notice of Intent to Deny or Notice of Intent to Revoke] may be sent out with a deadline to return additional proof. Or, VCS may choose to just reaffirm the case without additional information. Whether or not the case is re-adjudicated appears to be an absolute #######-shoot but it seems VSC is much more inclined than CSC. If you look at information here on vj you'll see it sometimes happens [I think cases from Ecuador appear to be reaffirmed quite a bit - maybe since so few cases return from New Zealand, they may re-adjudicate yours]. I'd have your fiancee have her eye out for mailings from USCIS - also, have her get in touch with her congressperson's or senator's immigration liaisons. They may be able to find out more information about what is going on with the K1 case. What could happen - in about 3-5 months, you could get a new NOA2 that states the case was reaffirmed and that it's being sent back to the embassy for a new interview. Again, not a typical outcome, but a possible outcome. Here's the kicker - if you marry and this reaffirmation does occur, you've shot yourself in the foot for the K1. You must NOT be married in any way, shape, or form to be eligible for the K1. There is no issue with going back to USCIS and stating, "hey, we married, we're withdrawing the K1 and will be pursuing the CR1". But, your CR-1 will be based on the date of filing that petition, there is no "but, but, but our old case can get me an interview in 6 weeks - can't I just use that one instead?". If you want to go CR-1 - yes, you can file once the legal marriage is registered. There are some real perks to the CR-1, most notably not needing to adjust status stateside. See if you can find out info from her congressperson's/senator's liaison...it may help shed some light and point you in the direction you need to go.	catknit	Female	India	2013-01-02 11:46:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	K1 visa refused after 2 months from interview	perhaps they found you on an indian matrimonial web site? Look, I know parents get involved with this stuff, so you might want to check in with your parents and ask them if they ever made profiles for you to find suitable (to them) spouses for you. That would explain a lot and I *totally* could see a family doing that on the sly. To the OP - oldest trick in the scammer's book - woo an unsuspecting American with words of undying love, get the GC, get the citizenship, drop her like a hot potato and then sponsor your desi girl. Look, I'm not saying that is what you are doing. BUT, part of your job in presenting your relationship/case to the consulate is to convince the CO that this is all on the up and up. Old profiles showing anything remotely questionable gets your case sent back to USCIS thanks in large part to all those Indian guys that did [and continue] to scam. You're paying for their past sins - sad but true. Anyway, start looking at your relationship and case with the eyes of cynical CO. You'll see the phrase "red flag" used a lot - age differences, religion differences, divorces, kids from prior relationships, looking like an oddball match [for example, you're a PhD with a tenure track lecture position and she's a high school drop out with 2 kids working at the local fast food joint], anything like that??? Did you spend a decent amount of time together? Did you follow any cultural traditions for the engagement? What about family meetings??? COs familiar with South Asian traditions may look at a case presented to them lacking those features as "questionable". You need to try and get to the bottom of why your case was sent back. You will never get a hard and fast answer - but start thinking about it. Short of a posting on shaadi.com from your busybody aunt - something will most likely stand out to you. Then, you need to work on trying to fix that problem.	catknit	Female	India	2012-12-30 17:31:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	U.S. Citizen in New Delhi	This is from my experience at the Mumbai consulate. India is one of the countries where things are different at different consulates. There is no problem with the US citizen attending the interview in New Delhi. Mumbai manages their visa section differently and in general will not allow a US citizen in for the interview. As the OP and fiance are going through New Delhi, they should have no problem. Please also keep in mind that the consulate can change its protocols however they feel, whenever they feel. So, what is allowed this month can change next!	catknit	Female	India	2013-02-18 17:45:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussion	U.S. Citizen in New Delhi	Don't be shocked if when your fiance's token is called if the CO waves you off at first, then calls you up later! It's at the discretion of CO if they want to talk to you. Heck, you may just end up sitting for the whole thing if the case is extremely straight forward and the CO has no questions for you. But, with out a doubt, you are able to attend!	catknit	Female	India	2013-02-18 12:04:00
Canada	Immigration Fraud	Math skills say 25,000 x $30,000 = $750,000,000 Holy moly! That's a lot of zeros....	catknit	Female	India	2012-01-30 12:26:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	VA DL problem	TBone - thanks for commiserating the finer details of state craziness! I have made PROGRESS! Long story short I sent b!tchy emails to my state officials. My Delegate's office [like a state senator - just the other house] called this morning with the super secret way to get around this... #1 - call/email/fax your Delegate explaining your need for an official/notarized driving record #2 - the Delegate's office will provide you with a number and contact at DMV in Richmond #3 - call said contact in Richmond with both you and your spouse's DL numbers #4 - confirm that all info is correct [names, spellings, addresses] #5 - You will be charged $8 for this - they will take credit cards over the phone #6 - Wait for it to arrive in the mail....[where I am in the process right now]. Now - obviously, you need to know about this a good week before you need the actual paperwork in hand! Also, my local office never suggested any specific dmv office at Richmond as a way to handle the issue - maybe they knew or maybe not. You could also try randomly calling DMV to order the official driving record - it looks like typically they want a form or letter with a "why" section filled out - I'm guessing by going to the Delegate I bypassed that. Both the Delegate's office and DMV stated that the records PLUS copies of the DLs are seen as "full ID" when establishing residential proof [or in our case co-habitiation]. For those looking to have a concealed fire arm in VA and have a PO Box - the official driver's record plus the DL count [in case someone read my OP and thought - gee, I wanted to remove conditions and get a cw permit - you, my friend, have a two-fer].	catknit	Female	India	2011-11-16 14:08:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	VA DL problem	We will be filing for ROC sometime in January 2012. In anticipation, we've been stockpiling copies of bills, policies, etc in order to make the process as easy as possible. We have hit a bizarre snag. My VA DL lists only our PO Box as my address. My DH's VA DL shows both the PO Box and the 911 address. Our town is one of those small towns that does NOT have house delivery. ALL residents within the town limits MUST use a PO BOX for USPS delivery. VA DMV will only issue either a DL or a state ID card. You may not have both. Additionally, after speaking with every person at the local DMV office - there has been a change of procedures through Richmond that all ID cards and DLs will ONLY have the PO Box going forward and that the physical/911 address will not show on the license. I have a message in with the state senator to see what in the world is going on [hell, he wanted my vote last week, may as well rattle his cage...] So, with all of that being said - how bad would it be if we enclosed copies of both DLs with not-quite-matching addresses as well as a copy of my voter registration card [has ONLY the residential/911 address and not the PO Box]?????? We also have joint income taxes, medical insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, car insurance, electric bills, water bills, joint checking acct statements, title to our home [joint owned], pics, proof of recent trip to his family's home, spouse card from his country's government [PIO]. The address difference looks like this: Cat Knit PO BOX 444 Small Town, VA VS George Knit 555 Main St PO Box 444 Small Town, VA Also, the title to the house lists the PO Box as our mailing address. It bugs me to no end that we don't have a state ID that matches addresses and there is NO way to correct it! The DMV lady [the first one I spoke to] was so apologetic because there have been a ton of people coming in to get their physical/911 addresses added because it's needed for a fire arm permit too. There is no loop hole. Grrrr... Edited by catknit, 14 November 2011 - 04:13 PM.	catknit	Female	India	2011-11-14 16:10:00