ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (TRELAWNY PARISH @ Nov 25 2008, 11:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 25 2008, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jakeswife @ Nov 25 2008, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Nov 25 2008, 10:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Being here in JA, is great but you do miss some of the foods and drinks that you are used to eating and drinking at home everyday. So, today we are going to go into New Kingston to one of the Hotels and I am going to get an American meal. If I could find a starbucks I would be happy too, but I know no such luck, so I will just settle with an American cheesebuger or pizza. If they have italian I would settle for that aswell.


you can take someone out of the states but you can't take the states out of someone. whistling.gif


So true. I don't ever crave American food while in Jamaica...but I do get tired of chicken (not a big fan of it anyway)...so as long as I can get fresh fish (steamed/fried/grilled), lobster and veggies I am good to go.


Jawi, that's funny. All my cousins want to eat is American food while I'm there and I'm like hell NO! When we were in Kingston they went to Fridays, Marcel and I left and went to a Jamaican restaurant not too far from there.



Lawny, where is that Friday's in Kingston, we might go there if we can find it?
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 11:13:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (jawi876 @ Nov 25 2008, 11:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Nov 25 2008, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jakeswife @ Nov 25 2008, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Nov 25 2008, 10:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Being here in JA, is great but you do miss some of the foods and drinks that you are used to eating and drinking at home everyday. So, today we are going to go into New Kingston to one of the Hotels and I am going to get an American meal. If I could find a starbucks I would be happy too, but I know no such luck, so I will just settle with an American cheesebuger or pizza. If they have italian I would settle for that aswell.


you can take someone out of the states but you can't take the states out of someone. whistling.gif



Jakeswife you are soo right, Joe's mother is a wonderful cook, and she has offered to try to cook me an American dish, but I just need one fix, a cheesebuger, pizza or starbuck, then I could hang for another month. Ha Ha.

But on a serious note, Jope's beautician has offered to do my hair for me and I am fine with that, but I don't want to offend her, by not payong her a fair price. In the states I pay around 45-50 US dollars for a wash and set, Joe says I shouldn't pay her that much. Now he has given me all kinds of crazy reasons, but I don't want it to seem like I am flashing money, and I want to pay fairly for a good hair-do. Question, do you'll tip your beautician? My SIL has said 50 is too much too, and I shouldn't give her that much, she is only asking me for 25. I don't want to offend anyone.


$25 US...that's great. Tip according to your happiness with the end product. I would probably add $10 or $15. What area are you in Rox? good.gif



Jawi, I am in Kingston.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 11:10:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
Thanks Sunny for the weather up-date. Thank you to all who has wished me a happy b-day blessing.
Jawi, I hope you start to feel better today, being sick is not a good experience. I saw that picture yesterday, with those heels, I say if you got it show it.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 11:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (jakeswife @ Nov 25 2008, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Nov 25 2008, 10:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Being here in JA, is great but you do miss some of the foods and drinks that you are used to eating and drinking at home everyday. So, today we are going to go into New Kingston to one of the Hotels and I am going to get an American meal. If I could find a starbucks I would be happy too, but I know no such luck, so I will just settle with an American cheesebuger or pizza. If they have italian I would settle for that aswell.


you can take someone out of the states but you can't take the states out of someone. whistling.gif



Jakeswife you are soo right, Joe's mother is a wonderful cook, and she has offered to try to cook me an American dish, but I just need one fix, a cheesebuger, pizza or starbuck, then I could hang for another month. Ha Ha.

But on a serious note, Jope's beautician has offered to do my hair for me and I am fine with that, but I don't want to offend her, by not payong her a fair price. In the states I pay around 45-50 US dollars for a wash and set, Joe says I shouldn't pay her that much. Now he has given me all kinds of crazy reasons, but I don't want it to seem like I am flashing money, and I want to pay fairly for a good hair-do. Question, do you'll tip your beautician? My SIL has said 50 is too much too, and I shouldn't give her that much, she is only asking me for 25. I don't want to offend anyone.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 11:03:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
Being here in JA, is great but you do miss some of the foods and drinks that you are used to eating and drinking at home everyday. So, today we are going to go into New Kingston to one of the Hotels and I am going to get an American meal. If I could find a starbucks I would be happy too, but I know no such luck, so I will just settle with an American cheesebuger or pizza. If they have italian I would settle for that aswell.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:45:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (Islandwoman @ Nov 25 2008, 10:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Happy Birthday Rox - I'm sure the party will be great. Enjoy it.



Island, Thank you for the b-day blessing. I hope all is well with A and his son.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:36:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (jakeswife @ Nov 25 2008, 10:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Nov 25 2008, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (honeychild36 @ Nov 25 2008, 10:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Happy birthday roxcie....



Thanks Honey, and it will all work out.


Be Blessed

Roxcie

happy b day rox. are you still in jam?




Jakeswife, yes I am still in JA, I will be here until 12/2. Thank you for the b-day blessing
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (honeychild36 @ Nov 25 2008, 10:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Happy birthday roxcie....



Thanks Honey, and it will all work out.


Be Blessed

Roxcie
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:20:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
Island, thanks for asking about how I am enjoying my time here in Ja with my husband. Evevrything has been great, he is still the same person I fell in love with here in the US. I have enjoyed spending time with his friends and family which has given me a better prespective on his younger days. I have heard stories about his time spent in school, and his childhood days that only his community and family would know about.

Tomorrow is my B-day, so we will be having my B-day party. Joe and his friends have taken over this event, so now I don't know what kind of party it might turn into.

Yesterday, I taught my first computer class, and it went very well. The class was full and there were alots of questions asked. I am only doing introduction classes, and hoping that this will given them some insight as to what they might want to learn or train for. Yes, alot of this will be very basic, but I have learned that sometimes it basic that is needed. The kids and I baked cupcakes yesterday, they had a good time doing that with me. We celebrated everyones B-day that is in November with a cupcake. Alot of Joel neices and nephews B-days are in November.

SunnyRay, how is the weather in Maryland? Brycie is back in Maryland, so I was wondering if she needed a heavy coat. I will probably tell my brother to go to the house and get her other jacket.

Edited by RoxcieJoe, 25 November 2008 - 10:15 AM.

LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:13:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
THis is a correction to the web site Name http://www.shearadiance.com


Again thanking you in advance.

Roxcie-Joe
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:02:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
QUOTE (Islandwoman @ Nov 25 2008, 09:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Nov 25 2008, 09:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Good morning ladies, I trust everyone is in good health. I want to introtuced you'll to a beauty product company that is owned by a good friend of mines. These are Natural and organic skincare products that are created and made by them. I have been involved with her company for a while now, and I will tell you that her products are GREAT.

Right now she is still considered a small business, but many SPA's have been ordering some of her products. I have been showing her products here in JA to some of the Resorts and a few have shown intrest. Please visit her site at www.shearadince.com. Her web site has been beautifully done.

All of her products are a Natural and Organic skincare.


Hey Rox - hope you are enjoying your time. Her web site doesn't come up when I try it.



Correction to website name http://www.shearadiance.com/


Thanks Island
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 10:00:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
Good morning ladies, I trust everyone is in good health. I want to introtuced you'll to a beauty product company that is owned by a good friend of mines. These are Natural and organic skincare products that are created and made by them. I have been involved with her company for a while now, and I will tell you that her products are GREAT.

Right now she is still considered a small business, but many SPA's have been ordering some of her products. I have been showing her products here in JA to some of the Resorts and a few have shown intrest. Please visit her site at www.shearadince.com. Her web site has been beautifully done.

All of her products are a Natural and Organic skincare.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-25 09:56:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and farrin (part 10)
Hello ladies, I am just sitting here on the internet while Joel is lifting weights w/the guys. The man across the street is grilling jerk chicken to sell, so I guess that will be our dinner tonight. Someone is playing music, and the kids in the next yard are playing. The night sounds here are so different than what I hear at home.

Eveytime someone walks by me, they say Good night. The Billie goats are crossing the street, just like they have all the time in the world. I can see the stars in the sky, the sky is clear w/no clouds.

I hope everyone will be having a good Friday night.

Edited by RoxcieJoe, 21 November 2008 - 05:46 PM.

LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-21 17:42:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies Heading to Jamaica in October
((bump))
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-11-18 20:03:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies Heading to Jamaica in October
QUOTE (Ryon4life @ Oct 9 2008, 01:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Marie87 @ Oct 2 2008, 07:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sunnyja21 @ Oct 1 2008, 03:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

October Yardies

Name
SunnyJa
Dates
10/4/08-10/16/08
Location
Ocho Rios - Private Villa in Mammee Bay
Purpose
Interview 10/7

Name
Islandwoman
Dates
10/10/08-10/15/08
Location
Hanover/family - Ocho Rios - Sandcastles
Purpose
Visiting - vacation - ???

Name
Honeychild
Dates
10/13- 10/19/08
Location
Ocho Rios- Fishermans
Purpose
Rooksin...( j/k...ummm vacation and visits)

Name
MrsPalmer
Dates
10/13-10/19
Location
Montego Bay-El Greco Resort
Purpose
1st Wedding Anniversary

Name
Journee1125
Dates
10/13/08- 11/03/08
Location
Negril
Purpose
SO Bday Party is 11/01/08


Name
solsoeur
Dates
10/17 thru 10/21
Location
Negril
Purpose
Visiting/Vacation

Name
Marlita
Dates
10/18 thru 10/22
Location
Kingston
Purpose
Interview 10/21

Name
Forbes
Dates
10/19 to 10/23
Location
Kingston - Alhambra Inn
Purpose
Interview 10/21

Name
Jski
Dates
10/20-10/23
Location
Kingston/Liguanea - with her family
Purpose
Interview - but this might be postponed??

Name
Marie87
Dates
10/21-10/28
Location
Manchester/Negril
Purpose
Wedding/Family

November Yardies:

Name
Ryon4life
Dates
11/1/08- 11/8/08
Location
Breezes Runaway Bay Resort & Golf Club
Purpose
SO Birthday


Name
Roxcie-Joe
Dates
11/04/2008-12/3/2008
Location
Kingston
Purpose
Conjugal Visits

Name
MSNELLY
Dates
11/13/2008-11/19/2008
Location
Negril-Rondell Village
Purpose
Vacation-Visiting

Name
Unruly Gal
Dates
11/16/2008 - 11/25/2008
Location
Negril -- Samsara (probably)
Roehampton (outside Montego Bay)
Purpose
Celebrate our first anniversary (dating)

December Yardies:

Name
Journee1125
Dates
12/1/08- 12/15/08
Location
Negril
Purpose
My Bday Party is 12/06/08

Name
Sus
Dates
12/26/2008-1/6/2009
Location
Unknown yet, lol - Maybe Portland
Purpose
My birthday!, Conjugal Visits, relaxation, maybe wedding...........

2009 Yardies

Name
Tonya
Dates
1/09/2009-1/21/2009
Location
Maybe Negril and Ochi
Purpose
My birthday!, Conjugal Visits, relaxation, maybe wedding...........

Name
Trelawny
Dates
06/19/2009-07/12/2009
Location
Trelawny, St. James, St. Ann, St. Andrew, St. Elizabeth, Westermoreland and St. Thomas, Hanover, Clarendon, Manchester, St. Mary
Purpose
Mi no now yet...wen mi find out mi we mek unuh know
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-10-09 13:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies Heading to Jamaica in October
Name
Roxcie-Joe
Dates
11/04/2008-12/3/2008
Location
Kingston
Purpose
Conjugal Visits
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2008-09-26 11:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaHelp!
Oh well, ask him why h rolleyes.gif e is sucking his teeth, the next time.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-01-19 17:44:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaDHL to JA?
This question will be better answered if it was asked over in the Yardie forum. This same discussion is being discussed in that forum.

Why don't you join them there for a better answered.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-02 17:38:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
I vote to hear Craig side of this adjustment story and his issues.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-12 12:54:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Feb 10 2009, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There were to many that I wanted to respond to, so I'm going to try in one shot....and I wasn't going to...but...

First...there WAS loads of love in my relationship with Craig. He still loves the heck out of me, tells me all the time, tries his best to show me, but with all the things that have happened, just don't feel that I need to hurt again by it all.
Second....Shauna and I are the best of friends, we've been in each others company many maaaaany times during and after they've broken up. We all had the best of times and looking back, can't even begin to tell you why that Craig AND Mike acted the way they did (do) !!

My parents are VERY racist, always have been, but for me, I like/love a person (man/woman) for who they are, not because of the color of their flippin skin. My sons friends, and they are all black or asian/black, freak out because "I" listen to "their" music. I love Reggae and Jamaica more than Craig sometimes feels. My apartment is filled with Caribbean stuff and has been that way waaaaay before Craig came into the picture.

When Craig came here, I investigated Black barbers and razors things, Jamaican restaurants, music, etc etc. I took him on a Reggae Sail as a suprise for our wedding gift. Within the 1st week of him getting here I took him out to hang with my friends and see my friends Reggae band and they welcomed him with opened arms ....as ALL of my friends have/did.

Craig was never one to go out and party, still doesn't. He's never been to a club by himself in the 2 1/2 years living here, we go out together, but not as much.
Craig was never the jealous type until, for whatever reasons, he got here. I have maaaany male friends and he knows each and every one of them, but I also have a ton of male friends in Jamaica and he knows that to, because I've introduced him to them all.

Craig and I talk ALLL the time, that's one of the things that I love about our relationship is we communicate ALLLL the time, now....sometimes he'll hold things over my head....um, that's part of immaturity on his part.

Yes, Craig is younger than me....but when I met him I thought he was older, just the way he carried himself and from the people he surrounded himself with. Here..totally different story.

This entire process is a LEARNING process and Craig (and many others that "I" KNOW OF) still do not get it!! I tell Craig all the time that you should be learning from your mistakes and never make those mistakes again, but that just doesn't seem to flippin sink in !

I've sat down with him, showed him budget, money, bank, books, newspapers, resumes, broken out maps, showed bus routes, areas where he can go, places where he can visit...shoot he knows more about my area than I do and I'm from here. I helped him try to find jobs, dag...I've done it all as we all do, but when do you stop "teaching" and showing??? Comes a point, right ?

We live in an area that is ALL Asian/Muslim, never used to be that way, but has become that way....my son is the minority at the bus stop! We live in the richest county in the Nation, where racism is around us everyday!

Craig said to me this morning, that when he went to Philly & New York this weekend, he does not like it there. It's to busy for him, he likes the quiet...we're not out in the middle of east bum...but he has become self sufficient in getting himself around and doesn't complain about taking the bus anymore, but we had those battles for a long time!!
Like I've said....a thousand times, there are sooooooooooooooooooo many things that you (newbies) don't think of that they need to learn ....just like the breath that comes out of their mouths in the cold, thinking it's warm outside (in the winter) just because the sun is shining. Turning off lights, radio, etc etc....and leaving without thinking that's sucking up the electricity. Paying bills and on time. Groceries are way more expensive. Some of us don't have a JA grocery store us the street. For Craig, there's never ever been an issue with food. He loves American food all the same. Yes he misses JA food, but doesn't whine and cry about it! Now that we have a Golden Krust up the street...."I" love it and go there more than he does !!

Yes, Craig has been abusive, I guess you want to call that, never verbally... and he tried to lay a hand on me ONCE and I took action with that. I will never ever tolerate a "man" living in my house that's abusive. He received the help he needed and it helped ....and he learned from that. He tries to get loud, still.....but I'm the calm one.
So....question, if YOU (anyone) were to "go through what I've gone through"....do YOU pick up and move out of a place where YOU have lived for 11 yrs, move your child/children to a new school and new friends, move to a different soccer club and give up everything YOU have had and known.......NO, the man should leave !!!! and that's the thing Craig won't do and I have no way of "getting him to"!! Oh, I could let him beat me up, call the cops and go that route...
I told him today, cause he's been reading everything that has been going on and said.....he said that HE has changed since coming here. He knows that...now fix it and get it back to the way it was...with or without me !!!

SOME of these guys are very much influenced by their "friends" and "cousins" as I've said a million times before. It's a battle that's constantly going on. Craig has to learn wrong...himself, part of "growing up" and it SUCKS that as a "man" ...he's starting fresh, so to speak.

I've been friends with many of the women on this site for 4-5 years now and the ones that I'm close with, we have ALL gone through the major BS that maybe SOME of you haven't....and that's awesome. Trust me, I would HATE to have anyone go through this. The veterans that don't come on here anymore, don't because it's just like how it used to be 4-5 yrs ago. We used to share, cry and embrace each other ...good, bad or ugly, not nowadays, it's like a piece of meat being thrown into a cage !!!

God has a plan for everyone................for whatever reason, we (me and Craig) are still on a path..... to ???


LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-11 17:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Feb 8 2009, 06:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I also forgot to mention, Craig has been without any work (not that he's even looking) for the past 7 weeks now. It has put even a bigger strain on us and me, but he could care less. I bust my butt working 2 jobs and I've been extremely busy.
He has failed about 4 drug tests to date (that I know of) for GOOD jobs, but ...still doesn't get it !! It's going to take him actually getting caught to probably get it. He now hangs with a 20 yr old that he goes and buys beer for, still doesn't get that he's not allowed to do that !

He's been here 2 1/2 years and I've never once met any of his so called "friends". He's met every one of mine, both male and female!!

He left yesterday, overdrew his bank account again and went to who knows where ??

It's just never ending. I'm hoping and praying that he stays there, but...he only took a very small bag !
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-11 17:05:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Feb 8 2009, 05:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey you guys,

I've been gone for awhile, but another Vjr told me to get on and share my "adjustment" story.
As most of you know, my relationship has been a constant battle. Going back to the yardie thread part 1 or 2 ?

I met Craig on my 20th time to Jamaica, so I knew the island, the culture, the people, the food, etc etc. way before I met him. I've stayed at both hotels and then at his (moms house). I know how both sides live there, that was never an issue.

It took a couple of trips for our relationship to blossom, because I had seen it all. Craig was different than any of the Jamaican man that I knew (and known) and met over the years. He was kind, considerate, affectionate, smoked but never in front of my son. I only found out later (after he moved here and was honest about it) just *how much* he smoked. We talked everyday, sometimes a couple of times a day. I went there every other month for a year, with and without my son (whom he met 1st and my son introduced us). I extended our petition 4x because I wasn't ready and I felt he wasn't ready either. We even took a 6 month break in between. Something was just different about him than any other man I had met, ever.
I had little red flags, but what relationship doesn't. Now since I was going through this back with some of the "veterans", we really didn't have much experience to bounce things off of each other like we can today. When he basically got denied for failing his medical (although didn't make it to the embassy, hence paying off someone at the lab), that was huge for me! "I" was the one that got interviewed, not Craig.
I've said it a million times, Craig has changed since coming here. He's not the same person that I met and he says that to me all of the time. He knows that he's become "ugly", but never does anything about it to improve himself and make a better life. He's miserable and wants to make everyone around him miserable.
I have a client that works for immigration in Baltimore, so Craig has been working since the 3rd week of him stepping into the US. Craig NEVER ever puts towards anything in bills. I've taken money out of his account, without him knowing it because asking (or demanding) it never gets us anywhere.

I've sat down with him time and time again and gone over the bills, bank accounts, money, groceries, school, work, pets, etc etc etc a million times, but he STILL doesn't get it !!! He's overdrawn his bank account about 20-30x now!!

I found out about another farrin women (he failed to mention about before he came here) about the 3rd week he got here....and he tried to hide the relationship. We've been through the other womens phone numbers, smoking, emotional affair, physical ####### (lead to his arrest, 22 weeks of anger management, I kicked him out), I mean everything you can imagine .....we've been through.

I stupidly allowed him to come back the middle of October because I truly saw a little bit of a better change in him. I had a trip already planned to Jamaica with my son, he whined so much that he ended up going too. He was out of control there, smoked and drank to embarrass himself and me in front of Managers and staff at the hotel, my friends and his cousin.........we are now SOOOO DONE !!! We haven't slept in the same bed since the week before that trip, we are not affectionate with each other, we talk...but it's on a "friendship" level.
He just WILL NOT LEAVE THIS HOUSE ! I've been nice, I've been a bee-atch, I've been patient, understanding, compassionate, helpful and compromised the heck out of everything, but it's just not working!!! I do NOT love him anymore, I do care about what happens to him, but there's no love between us. He says he loves me all the time, but he truly doesn't know what it means to be in a marriage or faithful and honest relationship and I'm done trying to teach him.

[u]We've been together for 4 years, married for 2. I told him that I will not file the ROC come November. I want a divorce...but...that just all leads to another battle, threats of suing me, etc etc. My son and I BOTH want him gone, but .....like I said, he will not leave !![/u]
I'm very close to Craig's mom, she knows everything that's been going on (so do some relatives now), but the way I feel about Craig will never ever change the way I feel about Jamaica and the island, vibe, etc etc etc !!!

Craig has sucked the life out of me, it's affecting my relationship with my son. I just got back from the Dominican Republic Friday night for a travel agent trip and I had THE BEST time of my life. I truly needed it. I danced, laughed, sang, just everything to enjoy being me and to not have that feeling of someone of making me feel guilty for being ME, was really and truly nice !!

As everyone that knows me knows that I'm never ever ever afraid to discuss my relationship on here or behind closed doors, ever. I've made some wonderful relationships with women on here that I treasure everyday because they've been my rock and you know who you are !!!

He's now in Philly, I think .....didn't really tell me where he was actually heading to or when he'll get back, but DA&N is it NICE to be in my home QUIET AGAIN !!! and have me and my son laughing and enjoying each others company without feeling guilty for being his mother !

Take care everyone, I'm never on here anymore, but I'm here .... if anyone needs to vent, talk to...'kay?!

Love,

Kelly


LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-11 17:01:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Is she for real?
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-11 16:50:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Devil's Advocat..... Every Story has two sides.... Maybe the problem is not Craig, maybe Luvtrav is contributing to the problem as much as Craig. Jomo not only should Craig man-up, Luvtrav needs to grow-up and take some responsibility for her actions too.

Malita, I agreed when I read the last post from Luvtrav, I was floored, I didn't even think it neded a response. It seems she has issues of her own and they need to be resolved. Family, childhood and relationship issues, until she resolves these she can not have a happy meaningful relationship.

Luvtrav, I am not dissing you, I am only stating, until you find ways to resolve all of your other issues, you can be there for someone else.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-11 14:44:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Portland, you meet your husband in Jamaica last year on 2/27. I got married in Jamaica last year on 2/27/2008.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 21:49:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Why is everyone posting under two seperate threads? This is so confusing.....
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 21:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Portland, you can't get married on the 27th, that's my day.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 21:18:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Feb 10 2009, 03:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Feb 10 2009, 01:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Feb 10 2009, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There were to many that I wanted to respond to, so I'm going to try in one shot....and I wasn't going to...but...

First...there WAS loads of love in my relationship with Craig. He still loves the heck out of me, tells me all the time, tries his best to show me, but with all the things that have happened, just don't feel that I need to hurt again by it all.

Second....Shauna and I are the best of friends, we've been in each others company many maaaaany times during and after they've broken up. We all had the best of times and looking back, can't even begin to tell you why that Craig AND Mike acted the way they did (do) !!

My parents are VERY racist, always have been, but for me, I like/love a person (man/woman) for who they are, not because of the color of their flippin skin. My sons friends, and they are all black or asian/black, freak out because "I" listen to "their" music. I love Reggae and Jamaica more than Craig sometimes feels. My apartment is filled with Caribbean stuff and has been that way waaaaay before Craig came into the picture.

When Craig came here, I investigated Black barbers and razors things, Jamaican restaurants, music, etc etc. I took him on a Reggae Sail as a suprise for our wedding gift. Within the 1st week of him getting here I took him out to hang with my friends and see my friends Reggae band and they welcomed him with opened arms ....as ALL of my friends have/did.

Craig was never one to go out and party, still doesn't. He's never been to a club by himself in the 2 1/2 years living here, we go out together, but not as much.

Craig was never the jealous type until, for whatever reasons, he got here. I have maaaany male friends and he knows each and every one of them, but I also have a ton of male friends in Jamaica and he knows that to, because I've introduced him to them all.

Craig and I talk ALLL the time, that's one of the things that I love about our relationship is we communicate ALLLL the time, now....sometimes he'll hold things over my head....um, that's part of immaturity on his part.

Yes, Craig is younger than me....but when I met him I thought he was older, just the way he carried himself and from the people he surrounded himself with. Here..totally different story.

This entire process is a LEARNING process and Craig (and many others that "I" KNOW OF) still do not get it!! I tell Craig all the time that you should be learning from your mistakes and never make those mistakes again, but that just doesn't seem to flippin sink in !

I've sat down with him, showed him budget, money, bank, books, newspapers, resumes, broken out maps, showed bus routes, areas where he can go, places where he can visit...shoot he knows more about my area than I do and I'm from here. I helped him try to find jobs, dag...I've done it all as we all do, but when do you stop "teaching" and showing??? Comes a point, right ?

We live in an area that is ALL Asian/Muslim, never used to be that way, but has become that way....my son is the minority at the bus stop! We live in the richest county in the Nation, where racism is around us everyday!

Craig said to me this morning, that when he went to Philly & New York this weekend, he does not like it there. It's to busy for him, he likes the quiet...we're not out in the middle of east bum...but he has become self sufficient in getting himself around and doesn't complain about taking the bus anymore, but we had those battles for a long time!!

Like I've said....a thousand times, there are sooooooooooooooooooo many things that you (newbies) don't think of that they need to learn ....just like the breath that comes out of their mouths in the cold, thinking it's warm outside (in the winter) just because the sun is shining. Turning off lights, radio, etc etc....and leaving without thinking that's sucking up the electricity. Paying bills and on time. Groceries are way more expensive. Some of us don't have a JA grocery store us the street. For Craig, there's never ever been an issue with food. He loves American food all the same. Yes he misses JA food, but doesn't whine and cry about it! Now that we have a Golden Krust up the street...."I" love it and go there more than he does !!

Yes, Craig has been abusive, I guess you want to call that, never verbally... and he tried to lay a hand on me ONCE and I took action with that. I will never ever tolerate a "man" living in my house that's abusive. He received the help he needed and it helped ....and he learned from that. He tries to get loud, still.....but I'm the calm one.

So....question, if YOU (anyone) were to "go through what I've gone through"....do YOU pick up and move out of a place where YOU have lived for 11 yrs, move your child/children to a new school and new friends, move to a different soccer club and give up everything YOU have had and known.......NO, the man should leave !!!! and that's the thing Craig won't do and I have no way of "getting him to"!! Oh, I could let him beat me up, call the cops and go that route...

I told him today, cause he's been reading everything that has been going on and said.....he said that HE has changed since coming here. He knows that...now fix it and get it back to the way it was...with or without me !!!

SOME of these guys are very much influenced by their "friends" and "cousins" as I've said a million times before. It's a battle that's constantly going on. Craig has to learn wrong...himself, part of "growing up" and it SUCKS that as a "man" ...he's starting fresh, so to speak.

I've been friends with many of the women on this site for 4-5 years now and the ones that I'm close with, we have ALL gone through the major BS that maybe SOME of you haven't....and that's awesome. Trust me, I would HATE to have anyone go through this. The veterans that don't come on here anymore, don't because it's just like how it used to be 4-5 yrs ago. We used to share, cry and embrace each other ...good, bad or ugly, not nowadays, it's like a piece of meat being thrown into a cage !!!

God has a plan for everyone................for whatever reason, we (me and Craig) are still on a path..... to ???





Luvtrav, I have to reply to you, there is nothing that you have stated her, that I have not hear from girlfriends whom have dated and married the man next door. These issues are not uncommon, no they are not right. But many a woman, white/black/yellow married to their man from their back yard have experienced this. What I am getting from this is that Craig is not ready for marriage, he thought he was, but he still have to grow. And you are looking for someone who has gone thru these stages, you are tired of teaching. This doesn't make either one of you a bad person, it just says you'll are not ready to be a couple. You want more and he doesn't know how to give that more.


I couldn't have said this any better. Craig has never been in a serious/monogamous relationship...adding on to the learning to be in one AND get married in 90 days. Ninety days is NOT enough time ...period. We got married on the 89th day.

We talk about this all the time, I know that he isn't ready and I tell him that it's okay, it really is...but...if you truly are ready than you HAVE to work on it and yourself!! You are not a punk little kid that doesn't have responsibilities like your cousins and friends, so man the f-k up !!

I agree wholeheartedly that he has to grow....we had this exact conversation last night...and I told him shoot...it could be years down the road that we may end up together, just right now.....we're not on the same page! He doesn't seem to get it, he says...that "I" am the one he loves and cares for....but ....it's just all so frustrating and confusing!!!

I don't "hide" my relationship from my parents and I've said this numerous times in the past. I'm just not open with it to my parents because of the fact my parents could give a rats a&& what I do with my life. I've gone on 3 trips out of the country since Sept and have not told them once and they haven't asked. We have never been close and that's not going to change now that they are 67 & 72 yrs old !! They've met Craig ...and still didn't put 2 and 2 together. If they want to know who he really is, they can ask....I'm not offering, if you knew them you would feel the same way. Craig, at first wasn't okay with it, but he's soooo over that since he knows what type of folk they are !!!

I've sent my parents on 2 cruise in the past year, they will NOT get off the ship and tour in a "black" (so to speak) country !!! It's sad, truly is...my parents don't take public transportation ...because of the "blackness" of it and they FREAK when they find out that I take my son everywhere and let him experience alllll types of places, people, etc. They won't ever look at my trips to Jamaica and/or Barbados! They almost fell over dead when my friend (who has dreads...that I've known for a long time from Jamaica) went over to shake their hand and introduce himself !!!

My parents are going to be moving to Delaware within the next 6 months after living in the same house since '74. They live 6 miles from me now and I can count on 2 fingers how many times I've seen them in the past 3-4 months. We, even my brother & sister and I, are just not close, used to be......and ya can't help who and what family you're born into !!

Life goes on and I deal with it the best that I know how to. I'm not a depressed and sad person, I live life everyday to the fullest and those that are in my life and know me, know that. I have a ton of people to bounce stuff off of. Craig can pick up the phone and call any one of my friends.... I can't do the same. I'm very close to his mother and we talk all of the time.

I would HIGHLY recommend marriage/couples counseling for anyone !!! We just unfortunately don't have the extra money ! Sucks....but we'd be all over that in a heartbeat !

Thank god I am a travel agent and get to take full advantage of the perks of being in this field....hence getting OUT of the country to rejuvenate !!! It's awesome feeling coming back HAPPY ;o) !




Luvtravlin, I sat here and laughed and cried at your post, sad for your parents who are not a set of happy people, but lets put all of that aside. If you and Craig wants to try to make this marriage work, then seek counseling. CHURCHES offers it free everyday of the week. You donot need to belong to a church to seek their marrgae counseling. Running away from the situation don't solve. Craig is still in your life so seek the counseling, so you can move forward with or without him.

If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for you son. Living in an evironment that is a constant roller coster ride is no fun.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 15:45:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (Marlita @ Feb 10 2009, 01:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sus @ Feb 9 2009, 09:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Kelly, we have talked many times in the past - You are a stronger woman than I am, because I would be in jail by now for murder - I hope that all works out the best for you.


Nanny, I am so sorry to hear that - stay strong, and enjoy the blessing of your daughter that came out of this situation - I dealt with the same ####### from my ex - he always talked a good game with our son, but never ever walked the walk - finally, I just stopped answering the calls or reading the texts - it was too hard.



Wow, LuvTrav, That is so crazy. Sus is right, I woulda probably been in jail too. Do you have family members, male friends, brothers, fathers, uncles who could "show him a thing or two?" You know...somewhere secluded, in a dark alley or something....I'm just sayin....

Wow he sounds like such a stress, but unfortunately this is not at all uncommon as i hear with many men coming here from developing nations.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 13:28:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
EVERY COIN HAS TWO SIDES

EVERY STORY HAS TWO VIEWS

EVERY PROBLEM HAS TWO SOLUTIONS

EVERY PATH HAS A BEGINNING AND AN ENDING, IT'S YOUR CHOICE HOW FAR YOU GO DOWN THAT PATH BEFORE YOU GET OFF OF IT.

LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES HERE, EVERYONE ONE OF US INCLUDING OUR HUSBANDS GOES THRU SOME TYPE OF ADJUSTMENT PERIOD IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS. SOME WILL BE HARDER THAN OTHERS; SOME WILL HANDLE THEIRS BETTER THAN OTHERS.

BUT NOTE: NOTHING THAT HAS BEEN MENTION HERE IS UNIQUE TO MAN KIND, these things can and has happen in relationship regardless of his/her country of origin. Some couples may or should seek marriage counseling, but they won't. Others just got caught up in the moment, and now they realized that they don't fit well as a couple. And that's okay too, because this does happen. But, we all should be fair and not generalized, because all men/women are not the same.


LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 13:12:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (luvtravlin @ Feb 10 2009, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There were to many that I wanted to respond to, so I'm going to try in one shot....and I wasn't going to...but...

First...there WAS loads of love in my relationship with Craig. He still loves the heck out of me, tells me all the time, tries his best to show me, but with all the things that have happened, just don't feel that I need to hurt again by it all.

Second....Shauna and I are the best of friends, we've been in each others company many maaaaany times during and after they've broken up. We all had the best of times and looking back, can't even begin to tell you why that Craig AND Mike acted the way they did (do) !!

My parents are VERY racist, always have been, but for me, I like/love a person (man/woman) for who they are, not because of the color of their flippin skin. My sons friends, and they are all black or asian/black, freak out because "I" listen to "their" music. I love Reggae and Jamaica more than Craig sometimes feels. My apartment is filled with Caribbean stuff and has been that way waaaaay before Craig came into the picture.

When Craig came here, I investigated Black barbers and razors things, Jamaican restaurants, music, etc etc. I took him on a Reggae Sail as a suprise for our wedding gift. Within the 1st week of him getting here I took him out to hang with my friends and see my friends Reggae band and they welcomed him with opened arms ....as ALL of my friends have/did.

Craig was never one to go out and party, still doesn't. He's never been to a club by himself in the 2 1/2 years living here, we go out together, but not as much.

Craig was never the jealous type until, for whatever reasons, he got here. I have maaaany male friends and he knows each and every one of them, but I also have a ton of male friends in Jamaica and he knows that to, because I've introduced him to them all.

Craig and I talk ALLL the time, that's one of the things that I love about our relationship is we communicate ALLLL the time, now....sometimes he'll hold things over my head....um, that's part of immaturity on his part.

Yes, Craig is younger than me....but when I met him I thought he was older, just the way he carried himself and from the people he surrounded himself with. Here..totally different story.

This entire process is a LEARNING process and Craig (and many others that "I" KNOW OF) still do not get it!! I tell Craig all the time that you should be learning from your mistakes and never make those mistakes again, but that just doesn't seem to flippin sink in !

I've sat down with him, showed him budget, money, bank, books, newspapers, resumes, broken out maps, showed bus routes, areas where he can go, places where he can visit...shoot he knows more about my area than I do and I'm from here. I helped him try to find jobs, dag...I've done it all as we all do, but when do you stop "teaching" and showing??? Comes a point, right ?

We live in an area that is ALL Asian/Muslim, never used to be that way, but has become that way....my son is the minority at the bus stop! We live in the richest county in the Nation, where racism is around us everyday!

Craig said to me this morning, that when he went to Philly & New York this weekend, he does not like it there. It's to busy for him, he likes the quiet...we're not out in the middle of east bum...but he has become self sufficient in getting himself around and doesn't complain about taking the bus anymore, but we had those battles for a long time!!

Like I've said....a thousand times, there are sooooooooooooooooooo many things that you (newbies) don't think of that they need to learn ....just like the breath that comes out of their mouths in the cold, thinking it's warm outside (in the winter) just because the sun is shining. Turning off lights, radio, etc etc....and leaving without thinking that's sucking up the electricity. Paying bills and on time. Groceries are way more expensive. Some of us don't have a JA grocery store us the street. For Craig, there's never ever been an issue with food. He loves American food all the same. Yes he misses JA food, but doesn't whine and cry about it! Now that we have a Golden Krust up the street...."I" love it and go there more than he does !!

Yes, Craig has been abusive, I guess you want to call that, never verbally... and he tried to lay a hand on me ONCE and I took action with that. I will never ever tolerate a "man" living in my house that's abusive. He received the help he needed and it helped ....and he learned from that. He tries to get loud, still.....but I'm the calm one.

So....question, if YOU (anyone) were to "go through what I've gone through"....do YOU pick up and move out of a place where YOU have lived for 11 yrs, move your child/children to a new school and new friends, move to a different soccer club and give up everything YOU have had and known.......NO, the man should leave !!!! and that's the thing Craig won't do and I have no way of "getting him to"!! Oh, I could let him beat me up, call the cops and go that route...

I told him today, cause he's been reading everything that has been going on and said.....he said that HE has changed since coming here. He knows that...now fix it and get it back to the way it was...with or without me !!!

SOME of these guys are very much influenced by their "friends" and "cousins" as I've said a million times before. It's a battle that's constantly going on. Craig has to learn wrong...himself, part of "growing up" and it SUCKS that as a "man" ...he's starting fresh, so to speak.

I've been friends with many of the women on this site for 4-5 years now and the ones that I'm close with, we have ALL gone through the major BS that maybe SOME of you haven't....and that's awesome. Trust me, I would HATE to have anyone go through this. The veterans that don't come on here anymore, don't because it's just like how it used to be 4-5 yrs ago. We used to share, cry and embrace each other ...good, bad or ugly, not nowadays, it's like a piece of meat being thrown into a cage !!!

God has a plan for everyone................for whatever reason, we (me and Craig) are still on a path..... to ???





Luvtrav, I have to reply to you, there is nothing that you have stated her, that I have not hear from girlfriends whom have dated and married the man next door. These issues are not uncommon, no they are not right. But many a woman, white/black/yellow married to their man from their back yard have experienced this. What I am getting from this is that Craig is not ready for marriage, he thought he was, but he still have to grow. And you are looking for someone who has gone thru these stages, you are tired of teaching. This doesn't make either one of you a bad person, it just says you'll are not ready to be a couple. You want more and he doesn't know how to give that more.

Edited by RoxcieJoe, 10 February 2009 - 01:03 PM.

LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 13:01:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
To a Black man a Barber Shop is not just a Hair Cut, it is a Social club. I feel that say way about my beauty salon, I treasure those Saturday morninig chats. Great networking too.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 12:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Jomo, did you understand why that was important to him? Finding a Black barber.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 12:13:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Tre, excellent question.

I will make this statement, I would find it hard to live among an asian community, I enjoy my asian friends company, I love asian food, but could I could not adjust easy to living among them on a day to day basic. My answer would be that , I would need a hugh support system, to help me adjust. This is not saying it couldn't be done, but me as the person that I am, would need advise and support along the way to adjust.

Again Nannygirl is giving some good insight to her adjustment issues.

Nanny girl yopu showed him how to adjust to things not people. Did he ever share the hurt that he may have felt from people?
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 11:43:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Island woman, what Nannygirl posted was very good, you can't isolated anyone and think that they will just fit into your environment.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 11:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Mrs. Smith, that maybe so, but it seems to have been a big adjustment issue for your husband. He may have been comfortable with your neighbors, but how comfortable was is he with family. Whether you want to accept this or not, family really matters to him.

We all must remember our husbands are not us, to say I would have adjusted without any problems is not fair to them, he may had just a harder thing in adjusting to this than you. Just step back a little and look at how you could have done one small thing different and it may have made this out come a little different.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 10:27:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
QUOTE (Mrs. Smith @ Feb 10 2009, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (RoxcieJoe @ Feb 10 2009, 10:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Okay, so how could you'll have handle this differently if you had to do it all over agian. Now I would say for myself, every family culture have dirrences even here in the US. What was the upside of being married into a white family verus a black family?



THere was nothing that I could have done differently,I am happy with the choices I made........There is a comfortabilty issue on his part being married to a white woman, it took getting used too, when you are not surronded by white people on a daily.........JUS t my opinoin.....





Can I ask you a question how would you have acted if you had to live in a all black community, and their culture was a little different than yours. What would you have expected from him. Just flip the script for a minute. Is he adjusting to this situation any better as time has gone on?
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 10:16:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Kimmy has stated, that her responds are not of an attack mod, so please everyone accept that she is asking valid questions. Because I do think that this can be a good post, but we must not get defensive at everything that someone post. Is this fair to everyone?
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 10:12:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Please anyone can join in, but your responses must not be of an attack mod.
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 10:06:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaAdjustment to the United States
Okay, so how could you'll have handle this differently if you had to do it all over agian. Now I would say for myself, every family culture have dirrences even here in the US. What was the upside of being married into a white family verus a black family?
LIFE'SJOURNEYFemaleJamaica2009-02-10 10:04:00