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Moroccan MENA members!!!

Hello MENA!

It has been a long time since I was on...but see lots of new faces and some of my old fav's are still here (

).

Hope you are all well....and life with your Habibi is great (Insh'allah)!

Name: YVETTE
Where you're from: LAKEWOOD, COLORADO
SO's name: SAID "Simo"
Where they are from in Morocco: FES
Anything else you want to add: Amazing husband, rollercoaster ride of a first year since he arrive in Nov 08; Life is good!

Take care all!
Yvette

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2009-08-19 12:51:00

Happy Eid

Eid Mubarak to All Muslims on Visa Journey except Gomer Pyle, lol. Just kidding. =p

brighteyes1

Female

Algeria

2010-11-16 00:14:00

FAMILY ACCEPTANCE

Having dinner, a picnic, school activities, family gatherings those are all socializing. I didn't mention anything about pursuing a young person nor did I say it was for me to approve or disapprove of her relationship. Regardless of whether we like it or not 18 is considered an adult, and some may be emotionally and mentally mature at that age and some may not. Mohammedsgirl just asked for advice and opionons not for insults. What if at 19 your son pursues a 35 year old woman? It's so easy to judge others when your not in their shoes and it's always best not to because GOD has the power to put us in others shoes and experience the same thing. No one said I was a "friend" to my children, all are self supporting, healthy minded and respect me as their mother not their friend. And as far my children's friends, all the mothers were the same we all had concern for our children as mothers and they respected us as mothers. Isn't the fact that we don't socialize enough with our children that this country is going to pot with education, with drug addiction, with teenage pregnancy and so on? Just a thought. No insult intended to anyone.

There is an Arabic wisdom that says, "The wise has his tongue behind his heart the foolish has his tongue before his heart", which means the wise thinks before he talks and the foolish just says whatever he says before thinking.

A person can advise a person in a civil manner on this web site without making them regret that they trusted their feelings here on VJ. We all have our relationships and most of us wish each other well instead of condemning others. Love is love regardless of age, religion, looks, money, anything. So if people cannot believe that this young man might actually be mature enough mentally to have a relationship then why do we allow drinking at this age? Doesn't that distort their maturity and judgement even more?

I've never involved myself in conversations here but it's sad to read so much condemnation constantly towards people seeking advice.

How does talking to a teenage son and his friends make it ok for a 35 yr old woman to develop a love relationship with a 19 yr old boy? I don't often agree with Hanging in There but I also have a 14 yr old son and God help any 35 yr old woman if she goes after my boy when he's 19. I understand that the OP stated that she wasn't aware of her SO's age until several months after chatting and didn't even know what he looked like. Ok fine. But then if she knew that little about the guy how was it that she was able to develop such a strong feeling of love towards him? Once she discovered he was that young she should've shown some self restraint and either dismissed him or only continued to speak with him on a friend level. I'm sorry, I know this isn't what this thread is about so much but it's just so hard for some of us to believe this relationship was allowed to continue.

I speak with my teenage son and his friends on a mom level. I can't relate to them on a friend level or God forbid, a romantic level. I'm the mom. I certainly would never "socialize" with them. I doubt most mothers "socialize" with their teenagers and their friends. You can't exactly mother your children efficiently if you're busy socializing with them and acting like their friend.

brighteyes1

Female

Algeria

2011-01-30 18:43:00

FAMILY ACCEPTANCE

How does talking to a teenage son and his friends make it ok for a 35 yr old woman to develop a love relationship with a 19 yr old boy? I don't often agree with Hanging in There but I also have a 14 yr old son and God help any 35 yr old woman if she goes after my boy when he's 19. I understand that the OP stated that she wasn't aware of her SO's age until several months after chatting and didn't even know what he looked like. Ok fine. But then if she knew that little about the guy how was it that she was able to develop such a strong feeling of love towards him? Once she discovered he was that young she should've shown some self restraint and either dismissed him or only continued to speak with him on a friend level. I'm sorry, I know this isn't what this thread is about so much but it's just so hard for some of us to believe this relationship was allowed to continue.

I speak with my teenage son and his friends on a mom level. I can't relate to them on a friend level or God forbid, a romantic level. I'm the mom. I certainly would never "socialize" with them. I doubt most mothers "socialize" with their teenagers and their friends. You can't exactly mother your children efficiently if you're busy socializing with them and acting like their friend.

brighteyes1

Female

Algeria

2011-01-30 17:59:00

FAMILY ACCEPTANCE

MashALLAH to Mohammedsgirl, she asked for advice and opinions not for all the judgement. Bitterness seems to have seeped into your heart since your last relationship. No matter the opinion, GOD's destiny is in everyone's life including yours. Whether the results are amazing or heartbreaking she's already started her journey with him. Your life must not be too social if you don't know your sons friends and talk to them more than just "where's your backpack and what will you major in at school?". I made especially sure to know my childrens friends and they were always welcome in my home and I learned alot from them and they knew they always had someone to turn to if they needed. Where do you think children and young adults learn their wisdom from? How do we continue to learn if we cut off conversation from people of certain ages?
Saying the relationship between a man and woman of this age is an insult about our Prophet Muhammad (SAW). In Islam the love is about the character not the face or age, this is speaking about a true practicing Muslim. Why not wish her the best and support her as a sister, regardless of her religion or her age. When you make this implication you are also making it about the young man. I doubt you ever spoken to him so you are judging him too. Please expand your mind and get out and volunteer with the younger generation you may learn something. You would be truly amazed what you would learn from them and they are our future you know. They will be taking care of us when we are old, better to understand than not be able to communicate with them at all. I wish you the best.

I have a 15 year old son. If in 3 years, as a high school senior, he struck up a relationship with a 35 year old, which is what ages match the situation, I dont know about the rest of you, but I would be reading her the riot act. I can somehow visualise late 20s (with difficulty) but a man child? Its child abuse as far as I am concerned and bordering on predatory. What normal 35 year old woman has anything to share with an 18 year old? I would be trying to ask his mom about what college he was going to or trying to be an older sister or a mom to him. My living youngest is 6 and I have a teen and I would be comepletely pissed and flipping out if some older woman put her fangs into him. Thats really gross and says alot about the petitioner as far as I am concerned. As a mom of a teen, it really hits home. When are we as women supposed to act motherly and mature? What age is too young? Does someone 35 really have anything at all to say to an 18 year old except...wheres your backpack and what will you major in at school?

He is a child. At 22 he is a junior or senior in college, can barely drink in the USA and has been involved with you since he was in his teens. Its very cougarish and frankly if anyone like you got ahold of my child 3 years from now, my 10th grader, when he is 18, I would be reading you the riot act. Do you have a child that age, especially a boy? Its really really gross frankly. I dont care what anyone here says. No boy who is 19 has ANYTHING in common with a woman in her mid 30s. If he was in his late 20s, I could somehow see this but he was a child when you met him

Why were you chatting with a teen regularly when you were in your mid thirties.? what could you possibly have in common with a child?

Edited by brighteyes1, 30 January 2011 - 02:09 AM.

brighteyes1

Female

Algeria

2011-01-30 02:07:00

EID MUBARIK TO ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS

QUOTE (MENAFORLIFE @ Nov 27 2009, 11:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May the Almighty and Merciful ALLAH, accepts your good deeds, forgive your transgression and ease the suffering. Please let us be kind to each other and bare no judgement against our fellow brothers and sisters of different faith and beliefs. Let us all pray that truth be sought and found so that peace may be aquired to all of human kind.

Amen.

Quran 9:29: Fight those who believe neither in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth (Islam), even if they are of the People of the Book (Christians and Jews), until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.

Boiler

Male

Wales

2009-11-28 03:03:00

devistated...now what?

Nothing you can do if it was a scam to get into the US.

If it was I would have thought he would have played along a bit longer

So really the issue is getting a legal divorce asap

Boiler

Male

Wales

2010-01-28 00:21:00

Friend from Libya

He can work limited hours on campus.

He can not work otherwise.

Quite simple.

Boiler

Male

Wales

2010-02-22 19:10:00

Friend from Libya

Limited hours on campus, if available.

He would have had to show he had the funds for his year to have received the visa.

Boiler

Male

Wales

2010-02-22 14:53:00

Palestinian Refugees from Iraq Arriving in U.S.

Imperturbable, first time I have seen that used on VJ. Congrats.

Is the Arab League still going?, seems like they should have sorted it out.

Boiler

Male

Wales

2010-02-23 09:54:00

Palestinian Refugees from Iraq Arriving in U.S.

I am quite aware of the history.

There was a similar issue in Germany with the children of Turkish Guest Workers.

The Germans eventually did the right thing, and that did not involves sending them to other countries.

Give them Iraqi paperwork, problem solved.

Boiler

Male

Wales

2010-02-22 10:08:00

Sugar and lemon anyone???

sometimes do it yourself is not that eazy

although it seems like a good idea at the time....

Perseverance

Female

Nigeria

2008-11-24 21:52:00

Double lives of visa journey petitioners ( what we dont really want to post)

All marriages are a work in progress. No one has a perfect marriage, and if there are those that think they do, then most likely they have no idea that there are underlying issues, and are suffering from "head in the sand syndrome"

Marriage is not for the faint of heart and takes work. When add in cultural differences, adjusting to a new country, immigration BS, etc etc.... it can make things really tough. My marriage has NOT been easy, but I have stepped up and taken control of the destiny of my marriage, I wont just watch things happen, I do the work, I take responsibility for my own actions, I refuse to be a victim. You cant work on your marriage without working on yourself and your own issues.

There comes a time in every ones lives where they have to wake up and take action, when is your time?

Perseverance

Female

Nigeria

2008-11-25 11:18:00

Calling spouse

I used pingo. You can set up phone numbers so you domt have to dial the access cose everytime. You can also set up speed dial numbers so you dont have to dial the entire number everytime. I have t-mobile for my cell phone service, I put a local access number for pingo for one of my faves and then the minutes dont even count against my cell plan. It is easy to recharge and when you have problems they are good about giving you credit back.

I understand how the calls can add up. I would buget for so much to spend every week and then we would limit ourselves to like 10 or 15 minutes a day, (whatever you can afford) then we could still hear each other everyday. Usually I would buget for more talk time on like a Saturday.

Perseverance

Female

Nigeria

2008-11-25 10:17:00

I think I was Used

Dont beat yourself up.

Its not worth it.

Learn from it.

Let it make you a stronger person.

Move on.

It could have been SOOOO much worse.

Chock this up to one of life's lessons, you learned this one...you dont need to do it again

Perseverance

Female

Nigeria

2009-02-24 23:12:00

I lost my husband today

So Sorry

Perseverance

Female

Nigeria

2008-07-30 22:35:00

Calling MENA....need your prayers and encouragement

Ever since Rachid's interview....that is unfortunately how I feel, as well.

If only we could be better equipped and informed when you start this "Journey"!

I am seriously going to be sick Monday night.

QUOTE (sereia @ Oct 17 2008, 11:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well all you can do now is hope that they understand how it happened. But from what you've written it sure sounds like they don't believe you!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-18 01:25:00

Calling MENA....need your prayers and encouragement

At the time.....we just did not think about it! Hindsight..of course, we talked about that tonight! At first it was not an issue, she was going to stay there. Also, at the time, we did not think about that...truly! It was me filing to get my husband here....and Toree filing to get Rachid here; in our minds, two separate things....and we were never trying to hide it.

I can see why it seems weird....but we believed if they reviewed the evidence they would see the validity! We were seriously wrong and OH SO naive in this whole process.

QUOTE (sereia @ Oct 17 2008, 10:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow. I'm just going to say one thing... I don't think it was smart to have your daughter apply for your brother-in-law while your husband's visa was still pending. Why couldn't they wait until your husband got his visa? I'm no expert, but if I were the officer reviewing either of your cases, a bell would ring when I reviewed them. This is just my honest opinion so take it for what its worth.

Either way I hope you get the situation sorted out.

No....she only asked for our evidence of relationship: pics, itineraries, letters, emails, etc...

That is all.....

QUOTE (sara535 @ Oct 17 2008, 10:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

did he leave his passport with them at the time of the interview?

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-18 01:07:00

Calling MENA....need your prayers and encouragement

Well...it is me again! Seems I to need to be here more and more these days.

As some of you know, Simo had his interview on the 9th. It did not go well, and the woman was horrendous (pretty much status quo these days). He received the form stating additional process was needed.

Well....he got a call today, and it went like this:

Caller: Are you Said El Moujahid?
Said: Yes I am
Caller: Can you come to the consulate on Oct. 21st at 2:00?
Said: Yes I am able....do I need to bring anything?
Caller: No

That is all! Nothing else! Tonight when we were talking, he told me about the call by saying, "I think I have bad news...but am not sure". He told me about the call...and then went silent. He told me for the first time his heart hurts...and that this woman may keep us apart.

Our son (he is adopting him..already carries his last name), asked "why does daddy look so sad mommy?" I told him in very general terms that he needs to go for another interview. His next response was "Is daddy coming home now?" I told him not yet....he went to bed crying and the remainder of my talk with Simo was soo sad.

You would think our visa would be pretty straight forward...it has taken a very long time to process, almost a year, but we did not receive any RFE's, when they finally did touch each form, it went through. Our problem is this......

Last year my youngest daughter (then...19) and my son (then ...5), went to Morocco for 2 months. For months before this, all of our Moroccan family and me and the kids would talk online everyday. A couple months prior to us actually leaving for Morocco, it was evident that my daughter and my husband's brother liked each other. Well when we got there, Simo and I immediately started on the wedding plans and obtaining a marriage certificate. As all of you who were married there know....it is a go go go go situation...we basically were not at home for 2 weeks. During this time, Toree and Rachid and my sister-in-laws were spending all their time together. Towards the end....Rachid came to me and told me he was in love with Toree and he knew it was different, but would I mind. ANYONE who would see these two together, would know without a shadow of a doubt that they were in love. Rachid thinks the sun rises because Toree gets up in the morning. How could I object to this??? Toree was going to stay there, but after much research realized it would be very difficult for her to continue with college. Simo and I discussed with them that we thought they should file for a K1 visa and live in the states. In the meantime, life goes on...we are all sooooo happy, and then we have to leave. This was the day I felt my heart being ripped from my chest and left in Nador, where we boarded a ferry for Spain, to come back to the U.S.

On 10/28 the USCIS received my I130 application (processed finally on 01/23), and then in the first week of February, Toree filed the I129F for Rachid. In the application, we told them how they met....and that an application was on file for Simo. We truly NEVER once thought anything about it. It was simple...strange...but simple: Toree and Rachid met and fell in love, because Simo and I did! No alterior motives....nothing. I was gone....she was in this country, with no one to talk to but Rachid and their sisters! They already liked one another, and realized there how much! We were tracking the progress of both petitions, and then Toree went out in July to see Rachid; while she was there they got the Packet 3 (before ours), and Rachid had 9 days between receiving it and going for his interview. They rushed to get everything together and Toree came home, and Rachid left for Casa. The woman who interviewed him never once looked at one piece of evidence that he took: not 1 picture, not 1 letter, not 1 call history...nothing! She asked him over and over again about Simo and me. She then stated they could not find his medical report and would call him when they did.

Shortly after, Simo receives his Packet 3....for an interview on 10/09. After 3 1/2 weeks of no news, and no medical report, Rachid goes back to Casa to have another exam. While he is there, the consulate calls and says he needs to be there the NEXT day at 2:00. Simo gathers Rachids binder, pics and paperwork, jumps on the next train and takes it to him. In the next interview, again she only asks about Simo and me. In both interviews, she NEVER asked 1 question ...nothing at all about Rachid and Toree. There were a couple times when she asked a question that he determined could have a couple different answers....he asked for an interpretor and she said no...English only. He asked why, and she said because she said so (asked the immigration attorney toree is hiring about this....totally illegal). He was told then that it was denied and being sent back to the USCIS, because he did not adequately prove their relationship. SERIOUSLY???? How could he when she refused to look at any evidence or ask one question about THIS relationship!

So now we fast forward to Oct. 9...Simo's interview. She asked him if he was aware he married a very poor woman, and how was I going to support him. He stated he was an Infrastructure Manager and Data Processing Technician and was sure he would find work in this field; that as a husband and wife we would work together (keep in mind I am a Director of Property Management, and in addition to a salary also receive my home, utilities and phone for free....she told him that did not count; yet the USCIS guidelines specify that it does). She then kept asking him why he "liked" me...he responded over and over that he did not like me he loved me. She then took all our pics, letter, emails, IM's and said he could leave and they would be in contact with him.

Then today he gets this call....... In all of this...he has remained so positive. He would remind me that we are meant to be together...and that it is God's will (Insh'allah). But tonight, I have never seen him like this. I reminded him of our times together in Morocco, to try to pull him out of it; how do I do that, when I feel like screaming inside??

I know this is a bizarre case.....some of you are probably picking your jaws up off the keyboard right now....but it just is what it is.

Anyway....I fully intend to be a complete nervous wreck Monday night....sleep? Yeah! What is that again....have a very vague memory of it!

If he is refused, my son and I will be meeting him in Spain, in January....where we will do what we need to, until we can ALL come back to the states...Said, Yvette and Christian El Moujahid.

Thank you in advance for your prayers!

Crying has become such a huge part of my everyday life now.......

Yvette

Attached Files

collage.jpg 244.06KB 78 downloads

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-18 00:21:00

Visa in Hand

WOW!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 00:12:00

THANK YOU EVERYONE...for your well wishes, and congratulations!!

I have spent the whole day crying...I was with my girls. It really hit home today, that our son and I might have had to leave my daughters! When I told Amber, she just cried, and said she was so afraid before but didn't want me to see it. Toree, was so happy for us, but at the same time I could see how much this hurts also! I am her mother, my job is to help her, and my joy today has brought her some pain.....that is a hard one!

This is not over for us....my immediate family or my VJ family! We will now fight, via an attorney to bring Rachid home to Toree...and as Simo and I take our next steps in this process...I will remain here with all of you who still have no news, and will support and encourage you as you have all done for me.

Rajaa....we need to talk re: the virtual support process!

Thank you again....I truly do not know what to say today.....this is such an incredibly unexpected blessing!!

QUOTE (SimoAndYvette @ Oct 21 2008, 07:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

SIMO GOT HIS VISA TODAY!!! I AM NOT KIDDING! HE CAN PICK IT UP TOMORROW!!!!

Thank you again MENA....for last night! I could not have made it through another night of waiting without you!!!

Martiniolive...it was the letters! Do NOT give up!!

Brnidokiegurl....like I said...you are right there!!

Rajaa...you kept the vigil all night Shoukran Bzaaf Bzaaf!!

Nawal, Amal, Sereia.....words cannot express.....

Thank you SOO much!!!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 17:38:00

Rajaa my sister! What to say...I have cried allll day! I am so afraid to feel this! He's coming...he is actually coming! Shoukran bzaaf bzaaf.....

QUOTE (Rajaa_Reda @ Oct 21 2008, 08:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I will do it again if it continues the same resaults !!!! Always here for yeah sista'! Congrats i'll talk to you later

going to work now and you totally made my day

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 17:30:00

Martini...Every day..and in every way that you need..call me, email me, whatever, because this is not over yet, and i will do anything you ask! THANK YOU!

QUOTE (martiniolive @ Oct 21 2008, 09:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (SimoAndYvette @ Oct 21 2008, 07:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

congratulations!!!!! I hope the letters help us too .......I am all choked up for you..........

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 17:27:00

Nawal, I have basically been in shock ALL day....I just NEVER thought I would feel this way again.

Thank YOU!

QUOTE (Nawal @ Oct 21 2008, 09:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OMG!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!! Congrats habibty! I'm sooo sooo happy for you both!!!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 17:25:00

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH AMAL!

QUOTE (amal @ Oct 21 2008, 07:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
ma

brook

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

tions

yippeeee kyyyyyy-yeyyyyyye-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!

that is super fantastic news girl!!! I'm so happy for u!!!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 17:23:00

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 09:53:00

Tuesday!

Sooooo....mental note do NOT attend the same school this "technician" attended!!!! OMG!

I am glad you had a chance to speak to the Doc Staashi! They did the same with me, regarding Christian (was suppose to have clubbed limbs....Downs.....Internal issues, etc...etc..); however, he was 9 lbs 8 oz, 21" long and at 6 is 4'2" tall....and is TOTALLY healthy!!!

Stay as stress free as possible, make sure to give yourself "Staashi" time EVERYDAY!!

We are here!

QUOTE (Staashi @ Oct 21 2008, 08:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I posted last night that I didn't find out - stupid receptionist told me it was supposed to be a U/S to determine sex - but it was just a check up.

Then today I had a real shocker. I had called the neonatalogist's office to inquire about if I needed to keep doing all of these expensive screen tests and ultrasounds if the baby had already been determined to have a 1 in 3600 chance of having Down Syndrome. (Which I thought were very good odds.) Well, the genetic technician calls me and says, "you'll need to speak to the dr about that. But, because you're a diabetic, your baby has a 60% chance of having birth defects - especially congenital heart defects." I was like - huh

. She said that the dr would call me to speak about all of this. Well, needless to say I was stunned.

I sat there sobbing over the fact that this baby had a 6 in 10 chance of some major birth defect and that there was nothing that could be done. I just shook my head and cried at my desk.

Two hours later, the dr calls me and we start to speak about everything. I said, "look, I'm just very concerned that this baby will have something terribly wrong because I'm a diabetic. I know that there is a 60% chance that the baby has a heart defect." He said, "who told you that?" I said that is what the technician said. He explained that she was wrong. In the general population .8% of all babies are born with a birth defect, but that in the diabetic population it is 1.6%. He said, "look, all your tests and scans have been good. You take good care of yourself, you use your insulin appropriately and you medicate. We'll check you again at 22 weeks, but for now you're fine." I swear to God, it was a terrible morning...but the sun finally did come out.

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-22 00:03:00

Tuesday!

Okay ...so I missed the whole Good Morning thing.....I was a little pre-occupied, then in shock for the remainder of the day!

Hope you have all had a great day!

Stashia did you find out?? A little bambina or a bambino??

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-21 17:50:00

Hump day

HAPPY WED-NES-DAY EVERYONE!

Just sneaking by to say hello....I'm at work...sssshhhhh!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Yvette

QUOTE (HisLittleMasriyah @ Oct 22 2008, 12:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Happy Hump day everyone

hope u all have a great day and those who r still waiting wd hear good news

Im praying for each and everyone.

Kisses to all the ME/NA babies

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-22 12:27:00

Introduction

HI Mandi.....

Welcome to Mena-land!

In "Our" world it is exactly as everyone has said....so just think of a typical family with lots and lots of siblings.....and that is us!!

Glad to have you!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-22 21:58:00

Status on the 2nd Interview

Ok...so now I am way confused.....

I see the rationality of if they were legally married in December and in Morocco....however, they are not having a wedding......The wedding was planned when the K1 was in effect....

Simo will be here 11/07, and he is meeting with the attorney the following week re: Rachid. I think this will be my first "Honey-do" task

Thanks guys....as always, you give me more options for viewing something!

Have a WONDERFUL Thursday!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-23 11:19:00

Status on the 2nd Interview

Hey Sara....Sorry! Not a traveling visa....do not know the technical term....it is a visa that allows his to travel here due to just cause.....we already had their wedding planned for next Spring (beautiful victorian village at the base of the foothills, near Red Rocks); we have to write a letter for him to have permission to come here, for a specific date and cause, and then when he is here....since it will be during the approval process, then they will file a change of consulate. Of course, this is all based on where each phase of the petition is.

Have I mentioned I am really tired....NO sleep now for 3 days!

QUOTE (sara535 @ Oct 23 2008, 12:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (SimoAndYvette @ Oct 22 2008, 10:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What are we doing about? Toree has hired an attorney, and he has already prepared all the paperwork. Toree and Christian (our son), are going to Morocco in December for 2 weeks; while there, Toree and Rachid will be married (just the legal part), and will return with her marriage certificate. The attorney will then submit the new petition, once she is back in Denver. He anticipates he can get Rachid here on a travel visa by the end of March. Once here, he will submit a change of consulate, and his interview should take place in Denver.....and NOT Casa again!

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but I think its already time to think about a plan B for this. Its EXTREMELY unlikely that a young man from morocco with an american wife and a pending K visa application is going to get a tourist visa and come for a visit. I may be wrong, but I beleive that entering the US as a nonimmigrant with the actual intent to immigrate is in fact considered immigration fraud. Lets face it, if it was as simple as travelling on over here and then changing a consulate dont you think thats what every single person who has dealt with the casa consulate (and many others for that matter) would be doing? I think Toree needs to interview a few other immigration attorneys and try to select one who seems competent and not just saying what she wants to hear.
Sorry, not trying to be harsh but just realistic to not put all your eggs in one very shaky basket.

in other news, congratulations for getting your case resolved

Best of luck to you both!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-23 01:33:00

Status on the 2nd Interview

Hello MENA!

MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!!!!

Well.....tonight was the first face to face (if you call a blurry cam...via various satellites...the WWW and 2 different countries face-to-face

!!)

I finally got to ask him about the interview....

Hubby said the very first thing she stated was that "your petition has no relation to your brother's petition" [HA! What a lie!] She then asked him to talk to her about me...he talked for about 10 minutes, the entire time going through all the pics, emails, letters, and other docs she had kept in interview 1. She said they had received several emails of support regarding us, and when would he like to go to the U.S. He told her that was up to her, and she said I have made my decision....come back tomorrow at 3:00 for your visa! JUST LIKE THAT!! Nothing at all what we expected or dreaded. I did, however, receive an email from Senator Salazar's aide today saying, he assumed everything had worked out to my liking......

In our case...that is totally a double-edged sword! OF COURSE, I am:
ecstatic, beatific, crazy, delirious, dreamy, elated, enraptured, enthusiastic, entranced, euphoric, fervent, floating, flying high, frenzied, gone*, high*, in exaltation, in seventh heaven, joyful, joyous, on cloud nine, overjoyed, pleased as punch, rapturous, ravished, rhapsodic, sunny, thrilled, tickled pink, tickled to death, transported, upbeat, wild ...and so on and so on (Thank you Thesaurus.com

)

However...I still have to watch my daughter cry...see how when I am talking to one of the many people who have been waiting, hear our news, she quietly walks out of the room, so I do not see her face drop in pain again. I am SO happy...and she is SO sad...it is hard to say the very least.

What are we doing about? Toree has hired an attorney, and he has already prepared all the paperwork. Toree and Christian (our son), are going to Morocco in December for 2 weeks; while there, Toree and Rachid will be married (just the legal part), and will return with her marriage certificate. The attorney will then submit the new petition, once she is back in Denver. He anticipates he can get Rachid here on a travel visa by the end of March. Once here, he will submit a change of consulate, and his interview should take place in Denver.....and NOT Casa again!

My daughters are both very strong-willed and determined young ladies.....so with this quality, Toree is totally throwing all her energy into this new petition.

It looks like Said will be here on November 7, at 3:25 p.m......15 days and counting!!!!

Again...and again....and again ..... THANK YOU SOOO much!!!! Could NOT have made it through the last couple weeks without you! No words you guys...there just are NO words that can express it...T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U is such a paltry statement, compared to what I feel! Hey, wait! Let me go to thesaurus.com again....

Sorry, had to end it on a laugh!

LOVE YA!! Yvette

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-23 00:12:00

Hey Tamara....I am sending you a PM....great recipe for lamb kabobs...from my sister!

platypisus.....

Thanks!

QUOTE (TamaraLovesAdam @ Oct 25 2008, 08:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

are you a vegetarian?

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-25 22:01:00

My Sister!!! Hello! Good to see you here.....lol

Soooooooo...yes and no would be my answer. Several people actually did give me the details behind why it is not permitted. For those of you who did....THANK YOU!!!!!

Yes the verdict is still out.....but to be honest, after the wikipedia definition, the collegiate essays, and of course the lovely youtube video...sorta leaning to NOT eating it!

As I am sure you read...MANY went totally off topic (became an argument at times) and some even thought my husband was trying to push his beliefs on me.....NOT even close to the truth. No matter what type of marriage you are in....there will be an adjustment period, where two lives mesh and become one. It is all about compromise, and I have an incredibly patient and compromising husband. However, I understand if I am going to post something here....it is up for scrutiny...No Worries..No Problem!

Thanks for talking to me yesterday!

Hey Nawal, Amal, Martiniolive, brnidokiegurl, Jackie, Sereia, Staashi.....HOPE YOUR WEEKEND IS GOING WELL TOO!!!

QUOTE (Rajaa_Reda @ Oct 25 2008, 07:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

lovin this thread... and who said "beef testicles?" lol really now.. (as the smell of lamb and rice waft from the kitchen) time to go eat...

so ummmmm did Yvette get her question answered????

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-25 21:20:00

He enjoys swimming...but not to the extent I do. He would only go if for instance: we had our own pool, or were on vacation...something like that. The swimming topic was because I like it sooo much! He said, if swimming is an option, like on vacation, we will come up with a solution together.

Gotta love it!

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Oct 24 2008, 10:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sandrila @ Oct 24 2008, 10:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Oct 24 2008, 09:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am surprised that these things weren't discussed in advance. Pork is forbidden, yes. I can't say I know for sure the exact reason, but pigs are viewed as very dirty animals in Islam. I knew this before I married my husband, and it made no difference because I had stopped eating pork before I met him. Not for the same reason, but because I think it tastes nasty. So this is not an issue for us. Even if I did eat pork this is one of those things that wouldn't be a big deal to me, so I would have given on this one.

As for swimming around men, well he has a lot to learn about America. So are you willing to give up swimming altogether? My husband didn't want this either, but he had to give in since he likes swimming. I wear a modest suit, but I would have anyway. We had a swimming pool put in this last summer, so all is even better. Now he doesn't have to stress about men looking (yeah right) and I don't have to prepare the day around going to the pool (the real reason I wanted it). But we still want to go to the water slides at times, so its just something that is going to happen whether he likes it or not.

What about holidays? This was the big issue for me. Are you willing to give up on Christmas if he expects you to?

You two had better spend some time reflecting on your expectations of each other now. He can't expect you to change, and he can't expect the culture to adjust to him. You two need to figure this out now so that when he comes there are less surprises for both of you. You both have things you can and cannot live with. There are some things I am willing to change, but there are other issues that I am not. This should have been discussed earlier, but since it wasn't, and you are already married, you owe it to yourselves and each other to work it out.

what about someone who had NO inclination at all about Islam before falling in love?
We all know the longer you are with someone the more you learn about them, their religion and culture

I can see how someone could fall in love before realizing what a religion entails, but marriage is a whole other beast. If you have fallen in love first, then it is still your responsibility for you to take the time to make sure that you have enough in common to make the marriage last. It is unwise to jump into marriage for love itself. I did that at 19 and learned a very hard lesson. With this one I took the time to find out everything I could think of in advance.

QUOTE (SimoAndYvette @ Oct 24 2008, 10:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We have discussed all of this many times.....I really think the pork thing is an image in his mind (like I am eating it all day...everyday). I have substituted almost everything for Turkey .. i.e. turkey bacon, turkey ham, turkey sausage, etc... He has always known it was a major staple in our diet, due to my culture. Last night, he only asked, that is all.

The swimming part, he really is not budging on that one; he actually researched and found a public swimming pool that has swimming for women and children...and he also is wanting to put a pool in the back yard for me.

He is partaking in the holidays with me and the family.....as far as the family gathering. We have meshed everything together very well so far......We have gone through so many topics, determined which one of us will change, or alter, or accomadate the other - or do we just incorporate it into our marriage.

Thanks!
Yvette

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Oct 24 2008, 07:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was under the impression that you just found out. If you did know all along I apologize.

As far as the swimming goes, if he expects you to swim in a woman and child only pool is he going to swim in a mans only pool?

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-24 11:55:00

I would NEVER even attempt to give him pork or pork by-products to try! My hubby has made it VERY clear....NO PORK!!!

This is all based on my decision....Pork YES or Pork NO

QUOTE (sara535 @ Oct 24 2008, 09:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sandrila and Yvette, just make sure your husband knows you are giving him pork to 'try', if you choose to do that. It is expressly forbidden in the Quran and I know my husband certainly believes that he cannot pick and choose what parts of the Quran he can adhere to and what parts he can ignore. He would be livid if I tried to get him to try pork as a surprise.

And just to clarify, my husband didnt 'make' me give up pork, I avoid it and keep it out of our home out of respect for him. My sister's husband is a Hindu vegetarian who, like pattu's husband, has never even had one bite of meat. They never have meat in their home or cook it although if my sister is free to order it out and often does (just as my husband would not care if I ordered ribs at a barbecue place if I wanted to). She's a great cook and enjoys finding and experimenting with vegetarian recipes, and together we often try to find ways to make vegetarian versions of some of our favorite family recipes. He's not forcing her to live this way any more than my husband is, its just a small part of making the marriage work and respecting each other.

as far as the swimming and stuff goes, of course its a good idea to discuss it ahead of time but it may be something that clears itself up after he gets here. As far as my husband goes, at first he used to always say he didnt want me to have any male friends. His reality at that time, living in morocco, was that at least within his family and social circle there was/is still a great deal of segregation between the genders - men socialize with men and women with women, unless its close family. He couldnt really imagine what my friendships might consist of because his experience with it was that the friendship really meant some kind of attraction or 'interest'. Once he got here and got settled in he saw that its a different social environment here and now he doesnt bat an eye at male friends. Just my experience and like I said, its always good to discuss in advance....

I would NEVER even attempt to give him pork or pork by-products to try! My hubby has made it VERY clear....NO PORK!!!

This is all based on my decision....Pork YES or Pork NO

QUOTE (sara535 @ Oct 24 2008, 09:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-24 11:44:00

THANK YOU SANDRILA!!

That is exactly what Simo and I do, as well.......when I think of the things I have eaten in Morocco...to just "try" it as you say..

He and I have the same philosophy...we see what works for us, try it, if it does...GREAT! IF not, we alter the plan...no big deal!

My biggest thing in this was just wanting facts on WHY it is wrong....so I can weigh the options to make my decision...absolutely that simple!

THANKS AGAIN!

QUOTE (sandrila @ Oct 24 2008, 08:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good topic

my husband has already made it clear about Pork and Halal meat

I have been an on/off vegetarian for years and when I met my husband I had been a vegetarian (not vegan) for over 2 years
once there and his mother had meat for our meal, it was hard to explain why I couldnt eat it, quite frankly I missed it too.

I dont mind eating Pork, so tasty however if you ever got to know the FACTS about how our meat is raised and injected with so much GUNK and then slaughtered, well, I think alot of people would be turned off

My husband thinks MEAT has "vitamins and nutrients" that are essential (i feel you can just as easily from other natural sources if you are diligent enough) Me being vegetarian doesnt bother him nor would I feel put out cooking meals with meat in it.

In reference to Pork, specifically, I think to myself once he comes I am going to "try" to introduce some Pork to him cuz I think he will like it so much, however, I dont bet on him "trying" it, after what has been ingrained in him all his life, I doubt for any reason he will deviate

we do have Halal markets here so I would oblige him in that area and quite frankly I dont feel I am missing much if I dont have pork there are too many other MEATY options out there

I am not Muslim, and dont plan to convert. I am just learning and respecting. I am not going to FORCE anything on him once he comes, if he is curious and feels comfortable with experimenting outside his "norm' so be it, but I venture to say his beliefs and what GOD says is #1!

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-24 09:49:00

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Oct 24 2008, 07:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

SimoAndYvette

Not Telling

Morocco

2008-10-24 09:44:00