ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionAdministrative Review - Who else, how long
that's sure ture , you can't really plan on anything since you don't when it's coming. I am going back to China and live with her if it's not approved within half year. we will have kids there and everything, then I hope they will believe it's not a fraud or anything that they are investigating. hopefully, I am preparing for the worst of the worst, but aren't nobody breaking up this relationship..... keep going guys, hope we will be out soon...... I wish the NVC people read the posting here sometimes and understanding the suffering souls in this forum..

I have to say it really is a bad situation to be in. It is sort of a feeling like being in a hospital with two broken legs and two broken arms. All you can do is lay there and wait. You have no idea if it will be next week, next month, next year or next decade. Even if they said we are going to have you in A/R for two years then I would think about moving where she is so we could be together. I hope that we all get good news soon.


bin&jieMaleChina2007-03-09 08:04:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionAdministrative Review - Who else, how long
right here with you :) , will contact congressman after 2 weeks, i just can't wait..... it's rueling all of our plans..

I am just curious how many others find themselves in that big black hole called Administrative Review, how long you have been sitting there and what courses of action you have been taking?

Mine has been there for 6 weeks. I am giving it 4 more and then going to contact my congresman's immigration specialist to see if they can help. I know of no reason for it. It is the second K-1 for both me and my fiancee (not to the same person). I am guessing they are checking to see what happened on her last K-1 which she stayed here for 30 days and returned home well ahead of the 90 day period she was allowed. Other than that we have a clean slate.


bin&jieMaleChina2007-03-08 19:52:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBlue slip after approval??? Anyone else?

There are a few scenarios that I’m aware of. At the interview, they will tell you if you are approved or not. They may give you a “blue slip” at the interview saying they need more documentation. Once you have the documentation, you can schedule another interview. I’ve also heard people are approved at the interview and then get a letter in the mail with a “blue slip” requesting more information. Or they could possibly deny you and not request anymore documentation.

I’m not really sure how the interviews work with children, but they schedule a lot of people at the same time for the interview. Then you sit in the waiting area and wait most of the day for them to call your number.



They told hubby congrats, here's the slip for DHL, we went outside and paid it. Interview was 8/28 and they sent the blue sheet note on 9/6/12. Senator's office said this happens occasionally if something expires in the process and the only thing I could think of is the police record (if it's only good 6 months then maybe we need another one-since they took so long). There is nothing else checked off on the list and nothing else written in. He responded to their email address to obtain the appointment and not sure why they didn't just write it in the note that was sent...why wait even longer? He asked what else he needs to bring with him so it's not a wasted trip because it takes a while to get there and costs money to go. That email was sent Wednesday pm last week. Why does everything in this process take so long? Just don't understand.
JamaicaLuvFemaleJamaica2012-09-17 13:43:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBlue slip after approval??? Anyone else?

Maybe this link can help some:

http://kingston.usem...lefollowup.html



It would be helpful to know so he could bring what it is that they want. We thought we were done and I brought stuff home with me so we have it to do things here with once he arrives. UGH!!
JamaicaLuvFemaleJamaica2012-09-14 15:36:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBlue slip after approval??? Anyone else?

That stinks!!

There was someone that went through the K1 visa and got the approval as well, paid the DHL fee etc. But then was halted due to needing a co-sponsor. So she needed to get all that toghether and then get the blue slip interview back in place. Maybe??


I submitted everything and don't need a cosponsor or anything else. There was nothing checked off on his letter except blue sheet appointment and nothing else.
JamaicaLuvFemaleJamaica2012-09-14 15:11:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBlue slip after approval??? Anyone else?
Hubby had interview on Aug. 28th, given oath, congrats, etc...go pay DHL fee. Per DHL, on hold still at Kingston embassy. He received a blue sheet request in the mail that was sent on Sept. 6th but it doesn't way why?
Anyone else have this happen to them before and any ideas why this happened?
Thanks,
JamaicaLuvFemaleJamaica2012-09-14 14:53:00
US Citizenship General DiscussionHow long to citizenship after K-1 marriage?

I have been reading through the forum a lot and seem to be getting rather confused. I do understand that these questions have probably been answered already on this forum, but can't make sense of all the answers I have found to date.

 

I am trying to plan my future and would appreciate it if anyone could help me find clarity..

 

I am a South African citizen engaged to a lady in America. I live in South Africa but am planning on moving to America to marry. I have 2 children here in South Africa, and they are young (10 and 6), so would like to be back to visit them once or twice a year, and probably for as much time as possible. My finance and I are thinking of getting married in April next year using the K1 visa. I know I'd then need to apply for permanent residence. I also know that in order to visit my children before my permanent status has gone through (which takes about 12 months I hear), I would need to get an Advanced Parole.

 

What I would like to know is.....

 

1) when can I apply for naturalization process? I am guessing I wait until I get my permanent residence before I apply.

 

2) How long before I become a citizen? I am confused between the 3 and 5 years. Using a K1 visa (fiance visa) it appears as though I would have to wait 5 years, while with a K3 (spouse visa) I would only have to wait 3 years. Am I correct? If so, would it be better for me to marry when my fiance comes out to South Africa during January-March next year and then for me to go to America on a K3 visa? I assume yes as, although it would take 1 extra month to get permanent residence, it would take 2 years less to become a citizen.

 

3) Once I have filed for permanent residence, how long can I be out of the country without having my application annulled? I ask because I would like to spend as much time with my children as possible. In South Africa there is no 3 month summer break, only shorter holidays, so no chance they can come to be for a long period of time, and the cost implication of two of them visiting the States is very different to one of me visiting them.

 

4) I read "Please note that an absence of more than 180 days from the U.S. will sever the 5-year continuous residence period requirement necessary for the naturalization process to become a citizen, even if a re-entry permit is obtained." My question is, is this 180 days for the whole 5 year period, or 180 days per year within the 5 year period?

That works out to 36 days a year over 5 years. If I could get the citizenship in 3 years, then it is 60 days in the year which would be better.

 

I would appreciate any help here as it will greatly affect how my fiance and I plan our future together.


CyclemadMaleSouth Africa2013-07-30 05:04:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionInterview documents-am I ready??

Thanks for all the help! 


AdaSFemaleSouth Africa2013-12-06 02:30:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionInterview documents-am I ready??

Hello, 

 

I am double checking everything. Please let me know if I have everything and put my mind at ease. My interview is the the Johannesburg consulate tomorrow!

 

DS230 Part 1

Receipt for I-129F $340

Notice of Action: Petition approved

A letter where he states he is able and intends to marry me within 90 days of my arrival. 

A letter from me stating the same-

I-134 Affidavit of support, letter from his employer, pay stubs and bank statements

All of the above from his mother also

A copy of the I-129F package

Confirmation page of my electronically submitted Ds-160

Proof on ongoing relationship from time we submitted until now

2 photos

All my passports

My unabridged birth certificate

Police clearance certificate from home country and countries I've lived in. 

The visa fee

 

Any reassurances that I'm fine, will be GREATLY appreciated!

 

Thank you!

 

 


Edited by AdaS, 04 December 2013 - 07:01 AM.

AdaSFemaleSouth Africa2013-12-04 07:00:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSharing some red flags
Hello To All!

Thanks for the responses and the encouraging words!! I didn't want to make any rash decisions until I find out what's really going on. After all, this is more serious than just a date at this point. My children are attached, we have financial obligations which we share and there is a little potential there to make this work. He's not a monster but he certainly isn't forthcoming all the time. If you all met him you would probably would not believe he is this person. Everything will happen in due time. Like I said earlier, if he wants this to work, then he knows what he has to do. If he doesn't, then it's all gravy. He got here in 08, so I think it's only fair to say I gave him enough time before I moved on. My religious beliefs are bible based which i follow, where adultery is the grounds for divorce, however I will separate without a doubt if it doesn't get better though.
Some of my friends have been in worse predicaments. I understand there is a huge culture difference concerning not wanting to be seen out in public and I'm ok with that part. In my friends case, it utlimately led to him leaving and moving on. We do have some fun every now and then but marriage is about loyalty, faithfulness and honesty. If he can't live up to those qualities then I will part ways.

What I'm most happy about is I'm not bitter towards him. Sometimes i sit back and just shake my head and chuckle wondering "what in the world was i thinking"! lol.... Marrying someone i hardly knew from another country! smh!!!! I'm a happy go luck person and try to find that silver lining in every cloud.
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-05-04 19:03:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSharing some red flags
Thanks Nigeriaorbust for some additional feedback! I hope the red flags will help others!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-05-03 23:46:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSharing some red flags
That is the million dollar question!!! His answer is "NO". He shows may signs of cheating though. Cell phone always out of my reach, Sometimes he hangs out late on fridays but will not answer his cell. Sometimes he's MIA without a reasonable explanation. When I confront him it's always, "Come on.. I'm with my african friends, eating and drinking and having a good time". Then tell me where you are, 'Oh at a place in Charlotte' he says, blah blah blah. Then he wants to go worship God together, cook me food and clean the house to reconcile. I've told him to please go stay permanently at the place you're constantly hanging out at. My heart is telling me he has cheated. If not, why all the secrecy?

Edited by MAO36, 03 May 2011 - 10:38 PM.

MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-05-03 22:36:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSharing some red flags
Hello VJ Family,

I thought maybe I would share some of the red flags, looking back from the time we met and during the immigration process. I truly did not have a whole lot but there were a few that are noteworthy. I also have a couple of friends who went thru the process who shared some red flags they encountered. Again, we are still together and if it's God's will, he will make the necessary changes to have a happy, successful, trustworthy marriage. If he doesn't "OH WELL, SEE YA". Just let me add also, I do not hide anything from my husband. I told him straight up I am trying to forewarn my VJ Sisters who want to listen or who are concerned that they may be being used. I told him he is free to leave at anytime he sees fit and I won't hold it against him. If it means having a peace of mind, rather than being in this unusual, loveless, deceitful marriage, I'd rather be alone & at peace. He really won't leave.... it's very strange but I honestly think it's out of shame to his family. They are very close knit with a stong religious background. My issue is LIARS, I hate liars. The man is a big liar! my mother said if you lie, you will cheat and I believe that. No woman has come forward yet, but i would not be shocked if one did. He's sitting on the couch while I'm typing this. I don't care. I just turned 40 and it's time to "DO ME". Well some of the red flags were



Red flags
1) Saying I love you a couple of days after connecting on the internet. ** Impossible to love someone you know nothing about at that point***
2) Younger man, older woman who's overweight, often with kids . ***This is not the typical family arrangement in the african culture****.
3) Doubts about some of things he tells you. *** Do your homework and verify the things you discuss******
Those my 3 red flags, other than that he had me sold. I have some friends who are going through much worse and some of the men have left. There red flags were

3) On the internet late at night at the internet cafe when their not talking to you. ** Usually means they are chatting with other women***.
4) My good friend said when she got to Ghana (her husband was Ghanian), he did not want to be seen with her in public. He was not romantic and there was a huge disconnection, but he still wanted to marry her. *** What man do you know would marry a woman he is not in love with unless theirs an ulterior motive?****
5) Someone who is inconsiderate of your financial obligations by always requesting money to be wired.
6) Not genuinely interested in your life, your background and your feelings.
7) Has a few shady friends (one of my red flags). ****The kind that you know are up to no good****

I'll let you know if i think of anymore. This is only for those who are interested.
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-05-03 22:16:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHi Sub-Saharan
Hi Boaz!!

I remember you from a long while back. I'm glad your doing well in light of the unfortunate past marriage. Good things will come your way!
Take care!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-10-22 21:09:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCONGRATULATIONS TO LAGOSLOVE

Congrats to her! but what about us men waiting for our female fiances :blush:


Awww...I'm sorry! You men deserve love too and your time is coming! :star:
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-11-19 19:19:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCONGRATULATIONS TO LAGOSLOVE

God is so good to His children!!! :)


He really is!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-11-19 18:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCONGRATULATIONS TO LAGOSLOVE
I know what you mean! I couldn't resist!. I met she and some of the other VJ wive's & husbands last weekend and we formed a bond. Her hubby has a very light accent, I understood him very clearly. He was commending his wife's efforts left and right. They live in the same city so my hubby, me, them and the other friends plan to hook up. He was already asking when can we all meet! He sounds like a true gentlemen!!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-11-19 18:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCONGRATULATIONS TO LAGOSLOVE
I'm so happy for my girl Lagoslove! Her hubby is here with her. I spoke to him on the phone and he sounds WONDERFUL! Her journey is complete now!!:dance: . I'm going to have my Hubby call him tomorrow or tonight!! LADIES! It can and will happen if it's in God's plans!!!! I think I'm more happy for her than she is LOL! We women deserve happiness! :star:

LOVE Y'ALL!!


MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-11-19 18:03:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHusband's & Wives from VJ united
I wanted to post something on a happier note. We all met up tonight, Tisa, Nea, Melissa, Me. Sheddy, Ola, Fred, another Ola and a few other people and had a great time. We went bowling, played laser tag, went out to dinner and just chilled. The husband's were so elated to have someone from their home to discuss matters with, laugh, joke and have a good time. Hubby got to speak Yoruba. Two of the husband's have been here less than 6 months. We felt like "old timers" since Hubby got her in 2008.

We plan on getting together again in a few weeks. :thumbs:


MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-12-04 01:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanTRANSPARENCY

If he seems to think that you don't know that he is sending money to family and friends then that secrecy would be a deal breaker for me.
Putting 'friends' above the children is ridiculous. Him not talking about sending money home and how much is shady. His focus is elsewhere.

If part of you knows he is wanting to move out then let him go and get your life back. You were fine without him and will be again.
You can't hold on to someone who has an emotional foot out the door and you deserve so much better. It is extremely stressful.

I also know someone who 'visits' his wife once in a blue moon. It is all a facade.

Man, WhidbeyGirl....I am so sorry. I hope he will come to his senses and things turn to the better. I have no more suggestions for you except to pray and seek God. I feel your pain and I hate this. HUGS.



Great advice!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-11-15 23:53:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWriting to the US Consulate in Lagos, NIgeria! would it help?
Hey in there Girlie! Your time will come very soon!!!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-11-19 18:05:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIn need of advice
Hello!



Every scenario varies, as their is no rhyme or reason concerning how and why some cases move through more swiftly. What I will do is give you some statistics on myself and the friends I know who went over to Lagos. I had 5 women who I personally know bring their fiance' or Husabnds over to the states. The 3 who chose the Fiance visa route had their significant others over here within 6 months. For those of us who chose to marry abroad, including myself, waiting well over a year. Again, there are a lot of other factors involved. Do you want to have to adjust status when he gets here, while waiting for his ability to work, drive etc. This can be a serious strain on the relationship but again some have survived it, or would you rather wait a bit longer for him to come over as your Husband on the CR1 and within a few weeks time, he'll start receiving his conditional green card, can get his SS card and begin to look for employment. It has to be your decision. If I had to do it over again, I would have chosen the fiance visa to give us time to adapt to one another before getting married and also I cheated the children out of seeing their Mom get married. Just my thoughts. They still bring this up today.



I hope this helps!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 08:47:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNOA2

:) and now i can't sleep!! I-130 approved! on to da next phase!!Thank you Jesus! that was the longest 4 months and 2 weeks ever!!!



Congrats!!!:dance:
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-10 23:09:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

4 better or 4 worse. Glad ur happy. stay prayerful.




Thanks Queen O
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-10 23:30:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

LOL..yes indeed it did get my attention lol! I had read your first post when I joined VJ (last year) and I was like oh man I wonder what happen with that couple...it was like a story waiting to unfold lol...so I was very anxious to see your update...and well I must say wow! LOL...and well it is so clear you 2 are completely in love lol...differences at all... I agree with your hubby hang in there..especially if he wants to keep working at it (most men do throw in the towel easily, especially here in America my ex did)....so keep on fighting for your marriage girl (you know you love that man lol)...congrats on the house...I'm sure you are just as excited as he is too LOL...I can't wait until I get mine (well ours after we get married)...owning is better than renting...I think you both are going to look a back at all of this (as you are now) even further down the road and say wow....look how far we have come...my grandparents got (and still get) on one another's everlasting nerve but it's been 52 years now lol...older folks truly new what it meant "for better and for worse"....I like to say that today we have microwaveable marriages...quickly in quickly out...back in the day...granny and them (lol)...had homemade marriages...(a long time to cook; but the best dang meal you had lol)...blessings to you and your hubby!




Hello Olumides Girl!


Another great response! You are so very right.... I love that term "microwavable marriages". Sad but true! I so appreciate the words of wisdom and the wonderful reminders of those "old school" marriages. Yes, I love my big headed baby! Gotta love him! Your time is coming very soon girl. I am so glad you remember my post from last year since that means you know all about what we have gone through to get to this point.
We continue to grow as a couple everyday! Thank you for the response!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-09 22:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

I enjoyed your candid story! Many times we women have these high expectations from our men, trust me, I know this one from most recent experiences, and when they don't live up to those expectations we can become upset, yet the one thing I have been telling myself over and over is this, just because someone doesn't love us the way we THINK they should, doesn't mean they don't love us to the best of THEIR ability.

Culture, age, and perhaps what they were shown as what love was growing up, all plays a part in how they understand and carry their feelings out. The best thing we women can do, is keep communication open, be understanding and help our men to learn how to love us the way we wish to be loved. We all know no one comes with a handbook for how to love, and it is only through communication that our partners can learn, what is important to their spouses.

Keep up the good work, congratulations on your new home!! :)




Tracey JO..... My girl! I think you've hit the bullseye on your comment. I couldn't agree MORE!!:thumbs: Love it, this is EXACTLY the case....... Thanks!!!!!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-08 13:41:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

Thanks for sharing a positive story....... :thumbs:



Anytime Patient! My pleasure!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-08 06:46:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

One of our running jokes comes from a discussion of evil, Joseph said that evil is dark black. So I asked him if he is evil ? ( which sounds a lot like my yankee attempt of Igbo ) We have a good laugh at the whole thing.





BWAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHAHA :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Sylvia.... Thanks for the laugh! He and I play around like that also. One thing I love about our marriage is that we can act a fool and noone gets offended. That is by far his best quality!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-07 22:20:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

I'm glad you are still together and have waded through the waters together. I truly am. I'm also happy he has stayed and didn't leave after he received his card...at least that shows what kind of man he is. Nuff said. Lots and lots of love to you both ~ xoxoxoxo




Thanks Ben and Jill! Much appreciated!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-07 22:10:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

I usually don't get on vj. But when my fiancee read this to me I had to reply. My sister from what I have read. Sometimes we as black women say what we want. But when we get it we are not accustomed to receiving "real" Love. So when a man is comfortable enough to share his feelings with us. Which in most cases is a hard thing for men to do. We don't believe that what he is saying is real. Because in truth we are asking ourselves "How and why does he Love me so much?" The answer is simply beloved. Because YOU deserve to be Loved in such a way. This question is in no means to make mockery of your post. But have you really taken a moment and read what your saying about YOUR husband? Please...please...please pray to your God and ask him to help you heal those wounds that you have endured in past relationships. There's a such thing called Dianetics check into it. I myself am checking into it as well. Because the things that you are doing are things that "we" do when we are afraid of Love. We want it so bad. But when we get it we tend to not know what to do with it. My fiancee expresses himself just like your husband does. And I used to feel just like you do. But one day I woke up and said "WHY NOT ME?!" Why can't I have a man that trusts me with his heart. And Loves me ssssoooo much. A man that Loves me just as hard as I Love him? I deserve that kind of Love. And the moment I stopped being afraid and started to accept his Love. Things became easy. The devil is out to kill, rob an destroy anything God has put in order. Don't let the devil use you to destroy what you Love. It not easy to find good men these days. And if you're looking for the perfect man you might as well stop looking beloved. Because none of us are perfect. What's wrong with that brother feeling good about home? What's wrong with him kicking back and feeling proud of where he has been blessed to be? I want my fiancee to stick his chest out every time he wakes up in the morning. I want him to feel like the King that he is. Because I am happy when he is happy. Home is where the heart is.



Hello MNNB! My Hubby said to leave me alone LOL. He loves my posts and said he's going to get on one day to give some advice and share some wisdom! Yes, he is my negro. We play around like that, No PUN intended. Thanks for the post and the Best of Luck. :thumbs:
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-07 22:04:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

:thumbs: Ditto! I was thinking the same thing!

To the OP: You both have invested years into the marriage... You both are still together and are working through it TOGETHER!

Remember the laughs you share and cherish those times when you both feel like giving up.

When I take the plunge into holy matrimony... I too need to remember the good times and stay positive through it all. :blush:





Thanks Sapphire Moon!!!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-07 22:01:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

Good to see you back. Its definitely not easy but everyday that you are together means that both of you are still committed to the relationship.



Thank you Zee! Always words of wisdom!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 13:35:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

lol...you sound like Cephus and Reesie from In Living Color "and we stilllllllll together!"
Think about how much he's made you grow to be better and vice versa. There has to be some sour to bring balance and make you appreciate the beautiful moments more.


Aww thank you....lol..... Yes I will think about that!

Long time, Back when you were around we were on the other login *Sylvia&Jospeh and had the horrendous denial ( because he didn't have details of my work for DOD contracts) and then his dad died. Like you we made it, and are still together and dealing with family on both side ( I will never marry a man with 21 siblings in a 3rd world country again ) I haven't had the excitment of moving as I had a good place when we married. But life has provided it's share of excitement "back home" I have even learned to call him hard headed in Igbo thanks to his sister ( wonder why she thought I needed to learn this ? )




Syliva! Yes..... I do remember you! We go a looooong way back, We spoke on the phone several times back in 2007 or 2008! LOL-They are very hard headed!

You guys sound like a perfect match to me. In love with lots fun too. You'll never grow old and dull like that.




Aww Thank you BC-Neo!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 12:55:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

It has been argued that we are all crazy fools :whistle:




That may very well be correct!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 09:50:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

You should be happy that he did not use you to make his way all the way up here. I guess that's true love. My fiancé always says this "difference make us stronger" So don't pay attention to the differences you have, pay attention to all the things you guys have been able to accomplish. Congratulation on your new home! It seems that he wants to make the best out of the marriage and hey don't you think that he wanted a big house because he wanted a palace for the queen that he has at home???? lol ;)




Thanks Laky! I needed that. I will make a conscious effort to dwell on the positive things!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 09:40:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?

Now that's True Love (F) Congrats on your new home! Home is where the heart is...............




Thanks Chica!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 09:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemember me?
LOL! I knew that would get everyone's attention LOL. No, seriously, How are things with everyone? Yes, we are still together. I'm not quite sure how to describe our "wonderful marriage"-yes I'm being sarcastic. He has gotten better with some things and continues to show a desire to work on the others. There hasn't been any new major occurrences, which is good since he is all out of chances. My feelings are still a little mixed when I think of why in the world did I marry someone who thinks and acts so differently than what I was accustomed to. We are able to laugh about most cultural differences and misunderstandings but there are those few deeply engrained roots that neither myself or He will ever change. Yes, he's still with me after receiving his 10 year greencard. It's weird because I still remember when he received it. I specifically told him, "You got what you wanted so bounce". He said, "Michele, trust me, if I didn't love you, I would of left your butt a long time ago". He said we get on each other's nerves but someone I've become very attached to you". Wow... lol. Can you believe the way this negro expresses himself? This is the way he tells me how he feels. Arrrggh.
Anyway, we are still together, we recently moved into a house from an apartment. This man thinks he has struck it rich. You should see him laying up in the house with his feet up, looking around like we're in some royal palace.....(5) bedrooms, backyard, big kitchen, family room etc. Since we moved here, he's been sleeping like a newborn baby-lol. I still get mad at his lack of maturity, he's 36 I'm 41. I have to admit that when I do get angry, I always tell him to leave (I guess I'm also immature), but he always says "No, it wouldn't be proper to end the marriage", blah, blah, blah. "My family and friends have been brought up to make the marriage work no matter what" (he says).


Anyways..... For better or worse.... I suppose
MAO36FemaleNigeria2012-05-05 09:05:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
CONGRATS ZEE BEE! YOU GO GIRL!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2011-07-09 17:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI asked him to leave. Best decision ever...

I wish all women had your strength to move on, its sad to think of how many suffer silently because its hard for them to make the first step.


Thank you Neema. It has not been easy, we still occasionally speak but I try to limit the communication so I don't become illogical in my senses. What I realized is that you HAVE to take a stand in life to do what's right for you and your children, even it it hurts like crazy. Time heals all.
MAO36FemaleNigeria2013-02-17 19:33:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI asked him to leave. Best decision ever...

MAO!!

I haven't been on VJ for some time and just saw this. I am sorry to hear what you are going through but happy you have made the decision that is best for yourself and your kids.

God bless and all the best to you.




Thanks Zee! It's been a long time. Glad you're doing well!

sad story, but it looks like you made the right decision. women don't listen to their instincts enough. i'm glad you did. wishing you and your family the best in the new year.




Thanks so much. Happy New Year to you also!
MAO36FemaleNigeria2013-01-19 23:01:00