biggish data

Tips to help your SO adjust

I think each man is a little different in what they need. I took my husband to an Iraqi store to buy some fresh baked Iraqi bread and he acted like it was no big deal. That he is fine with the regular bread we buy. He doesn't seem to need many pictures though I put some with his family up around the house. Mostly with my husband his goal is to totally adjust to being here. I think he wants to forget the middle east as he really can't go back. His home is lost, other arab countries don't want him, his family is even leaving to Australia on refugee next month. It pretty much means he is resigned to beginning life here and forgetting life there. I think it is depressing for him to have too many reminders of back home. He doesn't even really want to be around other Iraqis. His family advised him to stay away from arabs as it would only cause him problems. They told him it is better to just adjust to American life and move on.

He eats mostly anything I cook and enjoys it so I thank God for that. Though we have had a few moments of difficulties it has been really great. He rarely gets frustrated, he keeps an open mind, tries to learn anything I teach him. I swear I am so proud of how hard he is trying to adjust and start his life here. He is even amazing to me and helps me whenever I need it. I heard so many horror stories about when spouses come but I don't feel the big difference. If anything, it is easier on us since he has been here. I don't have to try and explain why I need to do this or that or go to this place or that, he understands now. He does ask a lot of questions but for the most part I've been patient and usually enjoy answering his questions. Another thing that helped was putting him in a school only a few weeks after he arrived. It means he is not sitting at home doing nothing and he gets to ask people at school lots of questions too which saves me some trouble, lol. I thank God my husband has been so amazing. I know it is hard for him to know his family is going to Australia and he gave that up to be with me. I feel bad for that and as a refugee he can't leave the United States until he adjusts to permanent resident after one year of being here. Even then he must apply for the refugee travel document which takes another 5 months to get as he is not allowed to use his Iraqi passport because of his refugee status. ISA we can afford to travel there as soon as he has the documents he needs. I know he will miss his family but he really is being great about it.

Oh, the watering can is important for those with SOs coming soon. My husband hates it when we are somewhere else and he can't use it.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-01-19 14:48:00

Calling All Iraqis

Hi,Thanks for the reply it is encouraging to know someone has made it.I'm alittle cheered today as alen got a job with global contrating for the U.S. army.So hopefully that will be a good thing.I am sorry about your husbands job problems.Does he speak english well? Or is it a issue because he is from Iraq? We are lucky. I am starting a new business so Alen will be able to work with me.But it sucks that he can find know work better than that.I will keep you in my prayers.Good Luck and God Bless You Both

My husband speaks excellent English. His entire medical school was in English. In fact, that is often the problem. He is always over qualified for jobs. We started leaving off the details of what he studied in college when he applied for work so they wouldn't pass up his application/resume. The problem is, in order to work as a doctor he must take a series of extremely difficult and expensive tests. Many foreign doctors study for a year or two before even taking the first one. Because he was a refugee and out of work for so long, he has gotten even more behind in his knowledge. Hopefully soon he can take the first test, but there will be two more after that. We also have to look at paying around $1000 for each test (some are a little more expensive, some a little less). One test can only be taken in one of 5 cities in the US and we are not near one of them so we have to factor in travel costs for that as well. After the tests he will then have to compete for a residency slot. Its extremely difficult to get one of those slots here because US med graduates tend to get priority.

Anyway, lol, I am so happy to hear your husband found a job so quickly. Good luck to you too!

S and S

Female

Iraq

2010-04-21 12:42:00

Serious question for MENA ladies

This is a sensitive topic in MENA when it comes to age gaps. Some think it is fine, others don't. I don't think religiously there is anything wrong with it. Though in the case of the Prophet (SAWS), his wife may have been much older, she still gave him many children. Not all older women could do that. If the relationship is legitimate from both sides, they love each other and accept the age difference and complications that may bring, then there isn't anything wrong with it. Problem is, and this happens even when there is no age difference, that one side may not have the same intentions of love and commitment forever as the other. Marriage fraud from MENA is more common so anytime you add another twist to the relationship like age differences, people tend to question it. The thing is, only those two people know how true their marriage is regardless of what others think.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-05-03 13:06:00

QUOTE (Donna A @ May 6 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i think its probably best to get cds and stuff from ur spouces country. that way u learn their dialect. ive tried those online things and they speak differently then my husband does. i repeated it exactally and he didnt have a clue of what i was talking about. so i gave up.

I get that problem sometimes because my formal arabic is better than my Iraqi Arabic. Usually the highly educated arabs understand me, but not always with others. Then there is the different dialects even within a country and that you still have the American accent altering the word to a certain degree though we don't always hear it.

It takes practice and having your SO help makes a difference.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-05-06 13:30:00

QUOTE (~Flower~ @ May 5 2009, 07:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For Arabic Lessons I am still on my alphabet and numbers. I am on the same wave length S and S that my real motivation will come once I'm in Egypt. Right now I'm packing things and moving while in dead week and finals. I have to finish my take home finals before next week and my motivation is finished because my heart and mind already left for Egypt planning the wedding celebration and seeing Hubby, but if I think too much about it I get nervous and excited.

I can imagine you are getting excited to go. I hope you keep us updated on how things are going.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-05-05 19:42:00

lol, you have to start somewhere and the alphabet is important. Of course, you got to start when the motivation is there. I'm sure once your in Egypt you'll be more inspired.

Oh, and the practicing is not so bad. Think of it like drawing, lol.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-04-29 01:12:00

QUOTE (rclouse @ Apr 22 2009, 06:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Apr 22 2009, 05:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Okay, I haven't found a full dictionary yet with transliteration, but I did find a site that provides vocabulary by subject for Arabic and Egyptian Arabic with the transliterations for both. Anyone interested should check it out and let me know what they think.

http://arabic.desert....net/index.html

That's very cool, the kind of thing I'm looking for.

Already found some of the words I know are actually Moroccan dialect, like "sleep" is "nas", not "yanaamu".

Good, I'm glad it can be of use to you!

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-04-22 18:58:00

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-04-22 17:05:00

QUOTE (rclouse @ Apr 15 2009, 04:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What I'd like to find is a decent online Arabic-English English-Arabic dictionary. The ones I've found don't provide a transliteration, plus I'd want to see what the "official" definition of the Arabic word is before using it.

I'll keep an eye out for a good site like what you are looking for and let you know if I find something.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-04-15 16:22:00

I got this site from the link above and glanced over it. I think for those of you wanting to learn the writing this would be a good start and you can just print off the pages you want for free.

http://fsi-language-.....ng System.pdf

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-04-15 16:05:00

I know especially from the daily thread that many of you would like to study arabic and at least learn some basics. If you go to a book store, you will often find a lot of books that may or may not be any good. There are also many online resources available for free you could use. I wanted to start a thread for those of you interested so we can share information and give recommendations.

This is a link to some online resources that you may find useful:

http://forum.wordref...ead.php?t=63753

I'll post other information later as well.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-04-15 15:59:00

It's officially Tuesday

Hello MENA, just checking in here to say hello. I hope everyone is doing well.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 13:19:00

Wednesday

Happy hump day MENA! I hope all goes well with you all and with all of those searching for jobs as well as people waiting for their SOs to come.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 00:30:00

I don't know if I can make it...

My grandfather was surprised by the mess I went through as he could recall the military actually shipping all the soldiers wives here after the war. There was no major immigration process. In fact, some wives made it to the US before the soldiers did and had to meet the family alone. He couldn't believe all the grief I went through.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 12:10:00

I don't know if I can make it...

The roller coaster ride is horrible while waiting. You start to get your hopes up and then they get dashed, then you get hope again and it makes you crazy. I finally couldn't believe my husband was here until I had him in my arms. Its been six months and we still hug each other close remembering the long wait. Don't get me wrong, life isn't perfect, lol. He still asks a lot of questions and now we moved to another state and still no luck finding work. Things can be frustrating, but if you truly love each other, you can stick it out and have a wonderful marriage. I still thank God that he sent me husband to me. The waiting and frustrations were all worth it (though occasionally your patience runs thin after he is here but its rare for us).

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 11:25:00

Stopping by to say hello

It is nice to see you back. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope we see you around more often.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 12:13:00

I drank the water in both Syria and Jordan and had no problems both times. I was cautious at first, but got lazy and it never bothered me. Not sure if the water is filtered better or not. I know my aunt and uncle lived in Egypt for a couple years while working at the Embassy in the late 70s/early 80s and she did get a worm from drinking tea with store owners. She said it was awful and took time to recover from as she discovered it late.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-13 14:09:00

They gave my husband and all the Iraqi refugees some pills to take before coming here to kill any worms. The funny part was there is an Iraqi rumor going around that the pills are for birth control. My husband saw them though and said it really is just worm medicine.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-13 00:36:00

You can get the Hep A & B shot as a combo now. There are many cases of Hepatitis here in America so its not a bad idea to get the vaccination regardless of if you are traveling.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-12 11:47:00

I had every vaccine you can think of when I went over to the middle east, but not particularly because I was going there, I just had to have them.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-12 11:05:00

What thing about ur SO's country surprized u the most???

When I was in my husband's country, I didn't know him and it wasn't under the best circumstances, but I can say the sunsets were beautiful there and the traffic was crazy. In Syria I was surprised by how old it seemed. I felt like I was walking through history and appreciated the fact they hadn't westernized so much that you couldn't see the old styles. As for Jordan, I was surprised they had such a huge mall (Mecca Mall).

For my husband, he is still getting over the cost of living. We moved to Oklahoma a couple weeks ago and there are no jobs. He is doctor but he can't work as one without a license and that process is long, but they require certifications in every medical job which all require specific schools. It is really frustrating for him.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 11:40:00

Muslims and Public Displays of Affection

Just to add another point, if the reason for showing no affection is to avoid jealousy, would it stop you from buying a nice house, car or clothes to avoid jealousy? Because I guarantee you will invoke more jealousy from those things than holding hands or hugging your husband.

Sorry but this topic really annoyed me while I was in the middle east. You would think people are ashamed of their spouses by the distance some people put between spouses. Luckily my MIL and FIL are still very much in love and they show it. Maybe not to extremes, but you see their happiness in each even after all these years and they lived in the middle east all their life.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-13 14:54:00

Muslims and Public Displays of Affection

You know, here in the US (at least in my opinion) no one gets jealous of another couple showing affection. If they show too much affection we may get annoyed, but I have never once thought of jealousy. I may have even been happy that they are so happy. It is hard for me to understand why anyone would rather a husband and wife show no affection and look unhappy together so everyone can feel secure in their misery. My husband and I walked holding hands in Syria and most people didn't do anything, but one old woman gave us really dirty looks for that. In the airport he would kiss my forehead tenderly but not on the lips. Now that he is here we still hold hands, put an arm around each other or have a small, brief kiss.

Personally, I believe if someone feels jealous over your happiness in marriage, then it is them who is sinning, not me. I'm hardly going to act distant with my husband to satisfy other people's insecurities. I have been single before and lonely. When I saw others who were happy, it gave me hope rather than making me wish ill on them. This is my take on things. Not exactly Islamic, but what I feel from the heart.

Oh and just to clarify. There should be limits on affection like you shouldn't just make out in public. That is just rude as there is no point in it but to annoy people. Hugging in public is fine though and they do it all the time in the middle east, never understood why it was only taboo when hugging or kissing your own husband.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-13 14:40:00

What's that you say??? An approval??

Congratulations!!! Glad everything went smoothly. When can he pick up his visa? Do you know when he will plan to come here?

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-15 17:14:00

They called back and canceled the second interview. I don't know why they would do that. They just said there are no positions open for him at this time and sorry for his troubles. They will keep his application on file. I hate that they even got our hopes up.

Guess we will just have to keep trying

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-26 15:23:00

Now we are trying a telemarketing place. He did one interview and was told to come back for a second interview. The place is looking for people to handle AT&T sales. My husband's English is really good and they liked that he had translating experience. I am really hoping he gets this job. For now we are waiting on his CNA license to get transferred so he can do that if nothing else.

One nice thing about telemarketing is this place is in a college area so they don't expect people to work there forever and his degree shouldn't hurt him as there are many students working there who have degrees and going for higher ones.

Edited by S and S, 24 June 2009 - 07:38 AM.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-24 07:37:00

QUOTE (AngelK96 @ Jun 12 2009, 05:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Jun 10 2009, 12:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (AngelK96 @ Jun 9 2009, 05:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

try Fresenius Medical Care and Davita. They are both big Dialysis Companies. Usually they are hiring Patient Care Techs. You can go on their web sites and look for openings in your area. They train you and you don't need experience. Would be nice if you were a CNA with who has their Med Aide Cert.

I checked out both those companies. They sound like great companies, but there are no openings that fit his skills or in his area. Both companies are around my area, just no jobs he can do. Thanks for the advice. I may keep it in mind for the future as you never know what jobs may come up later!

What Medical Field does your husband want to practice in?

Right now he is just a medical school graduate. He couldn't do his residency in Iraq because the hospital they assigned him to for that was in the shi'a part of Iraq and he is sunni. It would have meant death to go to that hospital. He would prefer surgery as his specialty, but that is hard to get for foreign medical graduates.

We are going to keep looking around. He didn't even get the job at 7-eleven that he applied for. Everyone sees that degree and just balks away from him. Its really frustrating. We have been looking in every available job listings online and in the newspaper and on websites of companies in the area. No luck yet, but we will keep looking. All the advice everyone is giving is at least pointing us in some new directions.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-13 00:34:00

Things are definitely hard when it comes to finding a job and this can be a difficult transition for many SOs. I think the only difference for us is I still feel the visa process was worse. Our situation was different though. My husband was a refugee and couldn't work in Syria or Jordan. He couldn't even work in his own country without death threats so obviously the US is a much better option, even if he has to search a lot for a job. I only feel bad that I separated him from his family who got refugee in a different country.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-12 10:55:00

QUOTE (sara535 @ Jun 10 2009, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

from what I have heard, most translator jobs are either directly or contractually related to the military and often to overseas activities. Pay is good, but my husband spent several years in the moroccan military and didnt feel like 'doing more time'

I agree with you. My husband has seen many of these jobs and I know people who worked for these companies. They are 90 percent of the time for jobs overseas, usually to Iraq. The few jobs for translators here are difficult to get because many of the experienced and educated translators compete for them. There are temp jobs you could get for military training exercises here in the US, but it still requires travel, usually to California.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 11:16:00

QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Jun 10 2009, 06:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

s/s if your in OKC i see signs all over at the nursing homes wanting CNAs. If this is what i think as a job the OSU extention here gives a class only lasting like 10 days with free enrollment if you agree to sign with one of there jobs placements. So if he already knows all this even if it meant taking this class to refress then take them up on their openings (i may have this all wrong but i think this is how it works,) and if your here now where did you find your meats?

Do not ask me why but the minute my husband tries to apply at these nursing homes they become rude and hostile. I really don't get it. I am standing there so I see what happens. He explains he went through a three week CNA school in Tennessee and is licensed there. We have the license and certificate with us, but they want him to transfer the license to Oklahoma and said they would not even take his application until the license is transfered. You would think they could at least look at it. I called the office that handles CNA licenses and they told me what forms to fill out and said it would take 2 to 3 weeks to get the transfer complete. I mean he just finished this school a few months ago so no point doing it again, especially since we paid $1000 for it last time (Tennessee doesn't have all the vocational school advantages Oklahoma does).

He has also applied through Integris and Norman, but no luck though they were nice and sympathetic.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 11:13:00

QUOTE (reeses16 @ Jun 9 2009, 11:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

S and S,

Yes, its an extremely difficult for professionals who must start at the bottom again in the US. My thoughts are that you and your hubby work together to sell himself at an interview. To be told that he is over qualified is ridiculous (but not uncommon). Help him prepare a few comments to make during an interview. Something along the line of, " I understand that I may be considered overqualified, however I think this creates a great opportunity for us both. As an immigrant to the US, I will have to complete a residency program in order to become a licensed physician. I expected it will take a few years before I can enter a program. In the meantime, I've completed a certified nursing assistant program to establish myself in the healthcare field here in the US. Given the state of the economy, I would think you have your choice of candidates and that its to the benefit of your team and the hospital to hire someone who has skills and experience beyond your expectations." I think its worth a try, either they'll love it or hate. If they hate it, probably means they wouldn't have offered him the job anyway. Come up with a few responses and practice them.

I know its tough. I'm in school as well. We got married 2 months before I started my PhD program. It was stressful at times, helping my hubby apply for jobs, and getting to interviews (he didn't know his way around very well) plus my coursework. But everything did work out in the end. We had to budget very carefully. My hubby had a problem with underemployment. He had 2 positions that were supposedly full-time, but he was rarely scheduled to work full time. Anyway, just remembered it does get better in time. School should be your focus, but maybe you might want to look into temp work during school breaks and vacations. I had a few friends who did this in undergrad & grad school, they enjoyed the experience and extra cash.

Thanks for the advice on what to say. He has mentioned some of that when dealing with recruiters, but he is never allowed to talk to the managers who actually make the hiring decisions. This means he nevers gets the chance to sell himself. The hospital recruiters have been nice and very sympathetic, but so far no news and he applied for these jobs weeks ago and we see they are still open.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 00:27:00

QUOTE (KHPerfectMatch @ Jun 10 2009, 12:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

H is unemployed.... He finally reached his limit of tolerance and just threw in the towel... He's been working in a restaurant where he was constantly being harassed and called "the terrorist" by the Mexican employees who thought he didn't understand much English because they typically heard him speaking arabic with the manager who is from Jordan. Amazingly once the manager got wind that H was being harassed (the assistant manager told him, not H) the manager decided to make his work so hard that H would leave... Rather than deal with his employees harassing H it was easier to get rid of H...

On top of all of that, one of the Mexican women who had done the loudest talking about "the terrorist" had male family members come to the restaurant and sit out side watching H and even followed him part of the way home, which is what made him decide the job just wasn't worth his safety...

I'm so depressed because it's his first and only job (other than working in our family business for a few weeks) and now he really can't use it as a reference because he walked out... So hard to explain on applications that you're his age and don't have ANY verifiable work history!

He wasn't too proud to work at any job that wasn't haram.... and for that I love him even more... He was so happy to just be making SOMETHING so he could contribute, and now the sadness in his eyes is killing me.

He has a bachelor's degree in Greek Philosophy (big call for THAT!!! NOT!!!) .... and was self-employed his entire life in Egypt... not a single thing in his work history that he can use here.... I don't know what to do to help him... It's so hard when you're his age to start over.... we need to think of a business he can do on his own, but so far, I've not come up with an idea that won't take all my time... I'm working 10+ hours a day already running my own consulting business...

It's so hard on his Egyptian Machisimo Pride/Dignity.... I never dreamed it would be THIS hard to find something! ANYTHING!! Unemployment here is about 13% even the Labor Ready shop is closed... Soooooo depressing...

I am so sorry to hear about all your difficulties. It is horrible that anyone should go through such troubles when they just want to work. Someone suggested to us this afternoon to try 7-11 (the convenience store) as they even have starting pay at about $11 an hour and always need people. We plan to check that out tomorrow. It isn't what we want, but it is a start so hopefully they will give him a chance and we can always work on finding something medical related later.

I wish you and your husband good luck. Hopefully he will find something better. It really does seem like such a long search.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 00:25:00

QUOTE (AngelK96 @ Jun 9 2009, 05:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 00:20:00

QUOTE (ridasgirl @ Jun 9 2009, 06:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Jun 9 2009, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (ridasgirl @ Jun 9 2009, 02:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Jun 9 2009, 11:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The problem is my husband is a medical school graduate. It will take a couple years to get through the exams and start residency so for now he must find some other work. We had hoped to keep him in the medical field with a lower job. I even sent him through Nursing Assistant school and he got the certification for that. He has applied through two health care systems, but no call back. The hospital recruiter at one really wants to help him, but the managers keep saying my husband is over qualified. It is really frustrating. He even took the hospital tests for both Nursing Assistant and Medical Assistant (though he didn't go to Medical assistant school) and he passed both tests. We tried the nursing homes, but they want him to switch his license to the state we moved to and that takes time, though we will do it. For now, the nursing homes will not even look at his application.

Although I am USC and there are surely barriers that I have not had to deal with, I do have a suggestion that maybe will work for your husband. I'm a Physical Therapist Assistant. I do not hold a permanent job at any one facility, but work through an agency. It's kind of like having an agent....I tell them when I'm available to work, and they market me to facilities they have contracts with. I know that my agency is nationwide and they do place CNA's--not sure about Medical Assistants. If you would like u can PM me and I can get u the info about my agency....GOOD LUCK!!!

Do you have any idea what their requirements are for CNA's? The two agencies we talked to wanted the one year experience. If you think there is a chance, then it would be worth checking into.

I have put a call in to my company. Since I am in the Allied side of things (therapies) my agent didn't have the specific answers for me. I gave her the information that I have about ur husbands' situation. She is looking into it for me and says she will give me a call back. I would be surprized to hear back from her today, but will be more than happy to let u know as soon as she or someone else from my company gets back with me.

Take care,
Melynda

Thank you so much for going through all this trouble. I truly appreciate it. Please do let me know if you hear anything.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-10 00:09:00

QUOTE (UmmSqueakster @ Jun 9 2009, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Jun 9 2009, 01:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for taking the time to write everything out. Those are good suggestions. We have done some of them, but not all. I will certainly keep your advice in mind. As for money, it is tricky. I'm not working anymore and will start unemployment soon. I am going back to school and will get paid almost a $1000 a month while in school, but that isn't much. We really do need him to work at least a decent job to make up the difference though it doesn't have to be super paying for starting out of course. Surviving and keeping up on the minimum bills is the key.

If he needs a year of school to get a decent job, then put him in school! While it's not the ideal situation, could you put off your school for a year while he gets certified? Then he could make a decent salary and support you while you go to school.

Would you both be able to work ok jobs and go to school part time? That may work. When AbuS arrived, I worked full time and went to school part time at night. It made for some long days (7:30 am until 10 pm), and it didn't do much for our relationship, but it kept us from being homeless.

I will say this now ladies - DO NOT expect your husband to get a job that pays a decent wage. If he does, then you can be pleasantly suprised. But if he doesn't, then you won't be screwed over because you planned for him to bring in x amount. Best to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

And if you're still in school or plan to go back soon, put off immigration if it's possible. I was ready to file for AbuS in 2003, but waited until 2005 because I wanted to complete my BA and get a job that would support us before bringing him here. I ended up pursuing a certificate while he was here, but we did ok moneywise with just my job, even paying for school.

Our problem is we don't have children now and putting off my school would mean trying to work, take care of children and go to school. Also, I must go to school full time to receive the $945 a month as well as my going to the university is free, but his schooling would not be. I have a limit on how long I can use the free tuition as well. Also, I will start unemployment next month which can bring in another $1400 a month for nine months. If I work and go to school part time I lose the unemployment and part of the $945. It makes more sense for him to work any job, even with small wages to make up the difference of what I'm not making. Whereas if I work instead we will make much less money since I have no degree or certifications. We are planning to send him to another school part time once he does have a stable job so that he can later try for a better job.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 15:28:00

QUOTE (ridasgirl @ Jun 9 2009, 02:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Jun 9 2009, 11:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Do you have any idea what their requirements are for CNA's? The two agencies we talked to wanted the one year experience. If you think there is a chance, then it would be worth checking into.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 14:41:00

QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Jun 9 2009, 02:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ahmeds first and only job so far is a company that packages and processes foods like ketchup, mustards, salad dressings etc. Now his job has something to do with the packaging and boxing, something like 3-4 thousand filled boxes a day, (he lifts and stacks). This is the bottom job apparently and very hard but he is sticking it out. Now the thing is he talks to a few of the Mexican (there are all kinds of races there, everything is covered) and this mexican starts to tell him how he has been here 7 years with NO papers, working, and ALL his family is the same way. Ahmed doesnt get it why is he still here, how can he stay and all his family why do they go home etc......The company directly hired ahmed (helped i worked across the street for a state legal division) but alot come thru temp agencies but the biggest BUT is he got the lowest job. Now one day two bosses were assigning jobs and they told him here you stay at this station, and as they walked away he overheard them say (that job is for the foreigners), this one job usually gives people two hour shifts rotation but not for him he gets to stay all day. Now you tell me there is not racists against him compared to the ones who were also foreigners (viet naim, mexico, black, one was lebonese i believe all kinds. Cant something be done against those working with no papers ? I think they see somebody working very hard to please them, doing better than most have ever done, sticking out the situation and they are just letting him continue to please them but keeping him at the bottom.

At home he owned a grocery, degree in literature and also speak 3 languages

That is ridiculous and not very encouraging since I'm in the same city as you now. Jobs in OKC are not easy to get, as we have figured out. We keep looking though. I agree there is some racism going on because of so many illegal workers here that they can get cheap.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 14:27:00

QUOTE (UmmSqueakster @ Jun 9 2009, 01:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

AbuS' first job was in a check cashing place. Total soul suck and haram to no end.

There are a few things that really helped him:

1. Internship. I wish we had thought of this sooner. He got an internship as an accountant in a non profit. This was how he landed his first real job as an accountant at a theater. He learned valuable lessons of how to work in an american office, bulked up his resume and he got a fabulous reference who helped him beyond compare. If you are ok on money and dont need him earning a ton of money, americorp offers a lot of internship type opportunities that look fabulous on the resume.

2. Practice practice practice. Practice job interview. Practice writing cover letters. Practice writing resumes. Practice until he's perfect, literally. The accent may not have completly disapeared, but he should be able to hold a phone conversation without confusing the person on the other end. And his cover letter should be fluent enough that the receipient won't be befuddled by the quirky english.

3. ESL classes. Even if he thinks he's good, he could probably stand for some improvement. And if the local ESL classes say he's good enough, find a way for him to speak english with a wide variety of people. I can't emphasize enough how important verbal communication is for landing a good job.

4. Keep a list of everywhere he's applying. Seriously, spreadsheet. If he's applying for a dozen jobs a week, it can be hard to keep track of them.

5. Don't answer the phone. Now, this may sound counterproductive, but it works. If they're interested in him, they'll leave a message. Listen to the message, consult the list of jobs, review the job posting, review the cover letter he sent and then call them back. That way he has a chance to compose himself and sound put together and with it. This is seriously how my husband landed his current job. They were so impressed with his initial phone interview that they asked him to come in ASAP and hired him 2 hours after the interview.

6. Job training. If he doesn't have a college education (or even if he does and isn't have any luck finding work with it), look into a job training program. They will help him with the necessary skills for job hunting and will help him in his search.

7. Patience! Patience! Patience! It took AbuS 3 years to find a good job, and many many many many long months of unemployment that were increadibly demoralizing. And then just when everything was looking up, he lost that good job due to the economy. It sucks. It really really does. But inshaAllah this too shall pass.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 13:54:00

We tried the medical temp places. All of them want him to have one year experience as a nurse's assistant and say his work as a doctor outside the country does not count. They also want his license to be in-state which will take time to transfer, so no luck there

Edited by S and S, 09 June 2009 - 01:41 PM.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-06-09 13:41:00