biggish data

Monday - al-Ithnayn

QUOTE (Astarte @ Sep 14 2009, 12:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you very much, S.

I just finished my phone call to them and I said pretty much what you wrote there. My husband tries to be very strong but I know from his sisters that he's quite shaken over this. They kept asking me to take care of him but it's not real easy at the moment.

I'm glad you at least got to talk to your in-laws. Sometimes I find it hard to know what to say even under normal circumstances. I hope you can see your husband soon so that you can at least comfort him in person. I feel so bad you are going through this hard time right now. Just remember to try and stay strong for your husband. I'm sure he does need you even if he is trying to act "okay".

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-14 01:07:00

Monday - al-Ithnayn

Its never easy to know what to say. Tell them you will pray for him and let them know you are there if they need it. If your husband has a hard time, ask him to remember the good things about his father and tell you about them. Sometimes remembering a funny time or nice time can bring a smile and remind them of the good life a loved one had. That is the best advice I can give. Wish I could give more.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-14 00:14:00

Monday - al-Ithnayn

I'm sorry to hear your news. I know how hard it can be to not say goodbye in person to a parent from experience. I hope you can be strong for your husband and that he gets through it. Maybe you could go visit his family soon so he can at least feel closer to them?

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-13 23:46:00

Happy Wednesday MENA!

Morning Mena, hope everyone's day goes well. Nothing new or exciting for me, just classes as usual.

Maureen, congrats on your daughter making the tryouts. I am sure she is so happy!

Edited by S and S, 16 September 2009 - 06:08 AM.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-16 06:07:00

Supporting your s/o through the big change...

Jobs here are really scarce right now and difficult to get. My husband looked for months and applied at just about every place we could think of. Many people wouldn't hire him because he is a med school graduate (at least for hospital jobs) and said he was over qualified. Other places wouldn't hire him due to lack of US work experience and preference to US natives. Finally my husband got a job at Ihop because the local mosque had people working there to help him get in. People at the mosque told him he was lucky to get that job. My husband says he sees at least 4 or 5 people apply at Ihop every day and only the ones who know someone actually get the job. Times are tough and every place can afford to be picky.

In my husband's case, he has to study for the US medical licensing board before he can even apply for residency. The tests are extremely difficult and expensive. As an Iraqi he needs high scores if he wants to be chosen over US candidates for residency (according to statistics maybe half of foreign medical graduates get picked up each year that apply for residency whereas over 90 percent of US graduates get picked up). I would rather he take his time for the tests and study hard so he can get competitive scores. Some doctors take the first two tests overseas in their home countries so they only have to take the 3rd one in the US. Then they can apply for residency at a hospital after that and come in on a visa that way. My husband didn't take his tests ahead of time because we weren't sure if he would come here or go to Australia with his family. His sister is a doctor too and lucky because she can chose to opt out of the test in Australia and just go straight to residency in the countryside or she can just take one test and do residency in the city.

Anyway, I wish your husband the best of luck and if he starts looking for jobs ahead of time and preparing, that can make the difference. It would help too if he knew anyone here that is an engineer and could help him.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-19 00:58:00

just something to think about

I feel really bad for this guys wife and child. Some people have no idea how much harder marriage can be when you have the military keeping you separated on top of immigration issues.

As for money being the motive, you only get extra money for one dependent, not more. If the military recognized the marriage, then he was getting separation pay for his wife. He would get no extra money for any children. There was a time many years ago you got more pay for each dependent but they stopped that awhile ago after they did a bunch of military pay increases to get military off of welfare.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-19 01:08:00

I spy Caturday on Saturday in MENA

QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Sep 19 2009, 07:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

we will be (practicing) the routes to drive to his new job come monday, (yehhhhhhhh)

JOKE: Know what happens when u turn a Moroccan loose on the interstate?

ANSWER: will follow next week

My husband was nervous about driving in OKC too. I had to drive him to and from work the first few days especially because it means driving on the I-35 for about 30 min. He was so nervous and still doesn't like it, but he is getting more confident. Hope our husbands don't run into each other though, lol.

Oh, also, he got a call yesterday from one of the telemarketing places that he applied to several months ago. They want to interview him again on Monday. We were really suprised they still had his application. The best part is that this place is pretty much accross the street from where we live now whereas the Ihop he works at is over 30 min away. It would save us so much money on gas and with the economy the way it is, you would be amazed how many people don't tip at restaurants anymore. I feel so bad for my hubby when he comes home after 4 or 5 hours with only $10 and you know they only get like 2 something an hour. Other days are a little better and he may come home with $35 or $40, but they usually only give him two tables and the business isnt that busy except in the mornings. I will be so happy if he gets this other job. It may be telemarketing but at least it pays $9 an hour plus bonuses. With Ihop he isn't even making minimum wage.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-19 10:15:00

I spy Caturday on Saturday in MENA

Its time for me to go to bed for now too, lol.

Happy Caturday MENA!!!! Hope everyone enjoys their weekend and Eid coming up.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-19 01:36:00

i got my visa this morning!!

Congratulations!!!! I'm so happy for you that everything went so smoothly. I wish you, your child and your husband a bright and happy future together in the US inshallah.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-19 01:10:00

Sunday in MENA

Morning MENA and happy Eid. The sun has finally came out here after more than a week of cloudy days and rain. Unfortunately I have so much studying to do that I can't really enjoy it

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-20 10:11:00

Happy Eid for all MENA

Happy Eid to everyone!

This is my husband's first Eid here as well though I feel bad it will not be the same as back in the Middle East. His family all lives in non-muslim countries now so they will all face a different kind of Eid this year, but I thank God at least they are all safe which is the most important.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-19 13:55:00

some good news and need help ....

Congratulations, hope things go quickly and smoothly for you.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-12 10:22:00

I'm a pessimist..

Every marriage is going to have its hurdles and adjustment period. My husband and I have been married over 2 years and he will have been here a year in December. Nothing about him has changed even though his visa ended up not being a marriage visa, rather a refugee visa. He came here to be with me and he does his best to make the relationship work. We have our wonderful times together and we have our fights and disagreements, yet at the end of the day we love each other just the same. You can't look at everything negative and think how it could apply to your relationship. Each marriage is different and really depends on both people being committed to it working. Try to avoid the stories, I read some too and eventually stopped as I realized we can never know the whole story. Its better to focus on your own relationship and realize it is unique to all others.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-22 23:44:00

Happy hump day..

Ooops, I didn't see this post when I checked to see if a daily thread for Wednesday had been posted. I don't know how I missed it. I think I was looking for Wednesday instead of hump day, lol.

Edited by S and S, 23 September 2009 - 01:29 AM.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 01:27:00

We have an Interview date finally

Congrats!!! I hope it goes smooth and easy for him.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 00:25:00

QUOTE (amal @ Sep 23 2009, 02:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If he's so obsessed with 100% with you, how is he gonna be with his own children? I hate it when these guys get all "uppity" about stuff like this. I'd just love to see him score that good on that test!! *harumph* lol!! U did a great job girl!!!

Happy wednesday! I leave for Missouri some time before the sun rises tomorrow morning ensha'allah!!!!!!!

Thanks, and I think your right, who knows how he will be with our kids. Probably better I deal with this first and break the chain, lol. Good luck on your trip to Missouri!

QUOTE (Nawal @ Sep 23 2009, 01:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Happy Hump Day MENA

Tash...I'm praying for ya girl. I'm sure you did great!!

Awww...poor little Malek...I'm sure he will do just find yelling Baba in no time!!

S&S, You did great sister! I would put together an exam for him based on your memory of what was given to you. Also, take notes when your professor goes over the exam. He has to give you what you got wrong, how can you learn??? Who cares what "other" students might do in the future...he should be on top of his exams each semester and change them up then! hehe

I'm totally exhausted....blah! I feel changes happening at work but no one is talking...*biting nails*

I may take up that advice. Give him a test, hopefully the professor does go over the exam.

Hope things go fine at work for you. Maybe its nothing

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 14:56:00

Thanks for the advice and comments about my Islam class test. I wish I could give him the test but the teacher had us do it on the computer and it just gave us the score after, I don't even know which questions I missed. Hopefully he will go over it tomorrow at our next class time, but then again he may do that so the next Islam class can't look at old tests from previous students. I am sure my husband would have failed the test or at least scored low though. Many questions were on pre-Islamic Arabia or comparing Islam to Christianity. He wouldn't know that stuff. I am just annoyed with him for continuing to harp on it when he knows I study until late at night every day. Really I only take Friday nights and part of Saturday off from studying (because you really have to give yourself some breaks). Otherwise each day after my classes are over I am studying except to do some cleaning or cooking. On average I would say I study 4 to 6 hours on the weekdays and up to 10 hours on Sunday/ 4 to 6 hours on Saturday. Surely that is showing effort. Main reason I work this hard is I want to get into a good graduate school and need the high GPA.

Aymsgirl- I hope you did great on the test though it sounds like you did. Thanks for your advice too, btw

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 12:11:00

Charles, can you or someone combine the two Wednesday posts. I didn't see there was one already

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 01:31:00

Okay, so I have to share this for lack of anywhere else to put it. I am going to school full time at a University and one of my classes is Islam. Most of the people in the class are not Muslim so it is interesting to see what people think as we study the history and religious aspects. Tuesday (now yesterday) I had my first quiz and got 94 percent on it. I felt pretty good about it, but my husband keeps harping me that I should have got 100 percent, especially because I am Muslim and should know the material.

The thing he doesn't understand is this quiz also covered pre-Islamic times and information you just don't study when learning about Islam through mosques and Islamic literature. There were a couple of question that covered points the professor made in class only in passing. One example would be if there were historical documents outside Islamic text that had mentioned the prophet (PBUH) at the time he was alive or shortly thereafter. He mentioned that there were in class, but I couldn't recall how many or where. Naturally this was a question on the test so not sure I got it right. There were a few other questions like this. I feel pretty good about my grade, but my husband is driving me nuts about how I should have done better. His father always held him to high standards when he grew up and accepted nothing less than 100. My husband was punished many time for scoring only in the 90s so now he is passing this habit from his father off on me. Anyway, just want some input into what you guys think. Thanks.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 01:26:00

Happy hump day MENA!

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 01:15:00

MIL got her Traveling Visa!!!!!!!

Congrats!!! How long is the visa good for? My husband and I were discussing this the other day though we may wait for his family to come until they get Australian citizenship and can come on the waiver program.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-23 01:00:00

We have no pictures together!!! K-1

QUOTE (norielorie @ Oct 3 2009, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Sofiyya @ Oct 3 2009, 10:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You won't need pics until the interview anyway, so take some when you go back. We only gave them about 8 of ourselves, and the CO didn't even look at them. Hubby got his visa the next day, so it's not the end of the world. Best wishes!

So USCIS approved your application without pics. I know when i filled it is on there site they wanted pics for proof.

Other than passport photos, we didn't send any photos in for the USCIS application and the approval went fine. I'm not sure where you got your information.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-04 16:40:00

QUOTE (charles! @ Oct 7 2009, 01:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

anyone heard from jackie?

I haven't, but I'm not on here on a daily basis anymore so I'm not a good source, lol.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-07 01:40:00

QUOTE (TamaraLovesAdam @ Oct 7 2009, 12:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ok, so we've been talking and our ideas for our short vacation for Oct 25-27/28th. We are thinking of these... A trip with our grandparents in the RV to Carlsbad New Mexico. A flight up north to Washington to see the west coast bcz I've never been there. A trip to Virginia (WashingtonD.C.) to see an old friend from Georgia and her fella. Or New York City-mostly Adams choice and I think thats the more expensive one. Decisions Decisions! Not entirely sure what to do !

Well, aside from considering the costs, you should ask these questions:

1) Do you want a slow, easy going trip or fast paced?
2) Would you like it to be just the two of you spending time together or is it okay to share that time with family/friends?

I think once you answer these questions you will have narrowed down your choices. That is my advice anyway.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-07 00:11:00

QUOTE (~*Dorothy*~ @ Oct 7 2009, 12:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great pace - you'll be done in no time...So true about coffee - for me it's is a perfect "stimulant" during the long hours of hard core creative "labor"...I finally feel the sleep enveloping my overstimulated mind - working three very distinct teams at the office has me busy but excited so I can't complain but falling asleep has become a challenge...I need a paper to write, maybe that would help to calm me down, then again it could just lead towards more problems... Keep up the fabulous work, S & S!!!!

Wow, it does sound like you are busy and need the coffee just as much as I do if not more! Writing papers could be fun for yourself, but not always easy to finish without a dreaded deadline to help motivate you. I used to prefer blogging as a way to put my research down. I would do all the reading and then write a blog about what I think about it. I enjoyed the nearly instant feedback I got as well. Stopped doing it for awhile now though as life got busy

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-07 00:05:00

QUOTE (~*Dorothy*~ @ Oct 6 2009, 11:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Oct 6 2009, 11:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (~*Dorothy*~ @ Oct 6 2009, 10:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Oct 6 2009, 11:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I love to write as well. I just feel drained this time from too many papers being due at once. I haven't even mentioned all the tests I had to study for in the last couple weeks. Otherwise I would have tried to do these papers sooner. It can be a lot of fun putting ideas together. I'm just super picky about my writing and hate to turn something in that I don't feel was completed to my standard.

I know what you mean - I bet your final product will be just awesome...I agree with you 100% - the initial brainstorming of ideas is always so invigorating, the blank pages inspiring and the promise of an interesting topic providing that extra burst of creative thinking...

So true about the brainstorming. I love to see the final product after you finally get it all together. So glad you are on here to keep me inspired tonight! I've typed up five pages today so far on the civil rights paper and I've only used half my notes so far, lol. Gonna be along night.

You are doing great!!! The night is definitely your most trusted ally when you reach a point of no return in your creative thought process...

Don't you just love how nighttime is probably the best time to get the creative juices flowing. There is something in the air transcending into a productive mindset delivering unexpected results. I'm one of the sad folks who likes to stay ate in the office when everyone is gone to tackle the most challenging correspondence....

lol, I do my best writing at night too. It is more quiet and less daytime distractions. Coffee is extremely important to fuel creativity as well, I agree. I'm up to eight pages now, as an update, lol. Thanks for the continued encouragement!

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-06 23:46:00

QUOTE (~*Dorothy*~ @ Oct 6 2009, 10:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Oct 6 2009, 11:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-06 22:29:00

QUOTE (~*Dorothy*~ @ Oct 6 2009, 10:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Oct 6 2009, 10:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I'm getting writers block and this is a bad time. I have two papers due tomorrow. One explaining why black civil rights made little progress after the civil war and why it was more successful after WWII. The other is comparing white Christianity, African American Christianity, Hinduism and Islam. Somehow I have to tie in all those religions together. I wrote up the religion paper already but need to do a lot of editing. The civil rights paper is slowly being written now (I have all my notes together for it, just trying to piece it all in). On top of this I spent the weekend working on another paper explaining why the Arabs lost the 1948 war which is due on Thursday. My mind is turning to mush and the most simple sentences are becoming difficult to construct, lol. Why do all these papers have to be due at the same time???? Argh!

I get excited by just reading these topics - I so miss school...Writing papers was my all time favorite part of the learning process...I'd love to get Masters one day but I'm too terrified of GRE and I don't think I could manage with the long hours at the office..maybe one day...

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-06 22:15:00

QUOTE (Nawal @ Oct 6 2009, 02:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Happy Tuesday MENA

Wishing everyone an awesome day! This week will be a busy week for sure at work...happy it will go fast and not so happy that its going to be so darn busy!

Hubby finally has his license!

Thank god...Is it bad that I have already started sending him out on "tasks" since about 1 hour after his picture hit the plastic on his license!

And each time he says "we need" I now can hand him the keys!

Congratulations. It drove me crazy when I was the only one who could drive. In fact my husband got his license after being here three months but I couldn't get him to drive alone until he had been here about 7 months. I was so happy when I could finally get him to go by himself and save me trips.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-06 22:12:00

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-06 21:57:00

Angelina Jolie met with Iraqi refugees in Syria on Friday

By ALBERT AJI (AP) – 6 days ago

DAMASCUS, Syria — Angelina Jolie met with Iraqi refugees in Syria on Friday and urged the world not to forget the plight of those among them who cannot return home because of the trauma they suffered and the country's instability.

Jolie visited Syria in her role as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations' refugee agency, UNHCR, and was accompanied by her partner, Brad Pitt, the agency said.

Tens of thousands of Iraqi refugees have returned home from Syria and other neighboring countries over the past year, but many more are unable or unwilling to return to a country still shaken by violence.

"Most Iraqi refugees cannot return to Iraq in view of the severe trauma they experienced there, the uncertainty linked to the coming Iraqi elections, the security issues and the lack of basic services," a UNHCR statement quoted Jolie as saying. "They will, therefore, be in need of continued support from the international community."

She was referring to Iraqi parliamentary elections scheduled for Jan. 16.

It was the Academy Award-winning actress' second visit to Syria in two years. On Friday, she visited Damascus' poorest suburbs where she was welcomed by two Iraqi families.

She also discussed the Iraqi refugee crisis with Syrian President Bashar Assad and his wife, Asma, UNHCR said.

UNHCR estimates that more than 4.2 million Iraqis have left their homes since the beginning of the conflict in 2003. To date, 215,000 Iraqi refugees are registered with UNHCR in Syria, the majority of whom are dependent on food and other material support.

The actress has worked with UNHCR since early 2001. In 2007, a foundation set up by Jolie and Pitt donated $1 million to help those affected by the conflict in Sudan's Darfur region and neighboring Chad.

Jolie has visited Iraq three times. Her last trip was in July, when she visited a settlement for displaced Iraqis in northwest Baghdad.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-08 15:46:00

finding a job

QUOTE (myfakeID @ Oct 5 2009, 07:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you, everyone - I got lots of good ideas. We'll have to try them out now.

I wasn't planning to pay again to have his resume done - that was a waste of money, and (more than a year later) hasn't resulted in even one call. I think cover letters are a really good thing to mention - I was making the same mistake recently when trying for a job. I wasn't getting any responses until I started adding cover letters (it's easy to forget that when you're applying online).

Maybe the difficult job search is to "make up for" the relatively quick and pain free visa/green card process? just kidding

His English is really good, and he does have his GED and DL. I did find a place nearby that might be able to help him with this process. I just didn't realize how much was out there! I also found a volunteer job that he might be interested in. A paycheck would be really nice, but getting work experience is even more important right now. I never knew about apprenticeship programs - great idea! Also about putting "Mr." to indicate gender.

Temp agencies, job centers, etc - lots of good ideas. I will let everyone know how it works out for us. I hope all of this information helps the others who are in the same situation. Maybe we can all keep each other updated on our progress, and let everyone know what does and does not work.

Good luck to all!

I know you were joking about the quick visa process resulting in long job process, but I can testify that makes no difference, lol. It took us 18 months to get him here and another 8 months to find a minimum wage job!

I really wish you the best of luck and hope things work out. This economy is just making things worse for all of us right now. Maybe all the advice on here can help us all.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-07 00:42:00

finding a job

I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband was here for 8 months before he found his first job and that was only because the local mosque helped him. Not to mention that job was as a waiter and he only made about $150 a week because of slow business and they wouldn't give him more than two tables. Oddly enough he got a call back last week from one of the many, many jobs he applied for months ago. It is telemarketing, but still better pay than the waiting job was. We were so surprised they called back after three months, but we are glad he is working this new job now that is closer to home. As for education, it hurt my husband to be a college graduate as everyone said he was over qualified so it goes both ways. The whole process of finding a job is really frustrating, but hang in there and keep trying. Much like the visa process, it happens eventually, you just never know when.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-10-02 17:29:00

Please pray for GinFar (Ginger and Farouk)

I watched the video and feel so bad for them and the family. What a horrible way to die and so needlessly. May God be with their family during this difficult time.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2009-09-15 17:05:00

Wow...deadville in MENA land..

Helloooo ladies!

S and S...wow! Long time girl I hope you are doing well. Kelz...Zaid is adoreable I wanna bite his cheeks Congrats Olivia on your hubby finally arriving.

And to everyone else have a great day!

At work...bored to death. Sore from my workouts this weekend...I'm doing the 30 day shred and starting INTENSITY today. Excited If I pass out...I might not be back on for a bit

ciao bellas!

Hey girl, nice to see your still on here. I hope you are doing good. I've missed chatting on here with you! Things have just been really hectic for me, but I'll try to make more appearances to see how things are going.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2010-03-29 17:15:00

I had forgotten about the night owl club thing. I remember there were quite a few of us insomniacs here on VJ a few years ago. I'd sleep 4 hours at a time and just keep flipping my schedule. I still do that but I got a "white noise" CD to help with that and sometimes I can sleep up to 7 hours. Hopefully when work comes I'll have some kind of regular schedule again.

lol, my husband is a night owl too so were hopeless. It doesn't matter how early we have to be up, we just sacrafice a good nights rest and take naps later when we get home. Sometimes I wish I was a morning person, but at the same time I enjoy being up late.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2010-03-29 11:30:00

Good! It took 2 years and 8 months from filing to visa in hand for us. He'll be here next week! He had to wait on some official papers and translation for the AOS and USMLE's to bring with him.

Ahhh, I'm so happy for you. You must be so excited. I can see we are both still night owls, lol.

S and S

Female

Iraq

2010-03-29 02:06:00

Good to see you S and S!

Nice to hear from you too! How are things going for you?

S and S

Female

Iraq

2010-03-28 23:46:00

Hope everyone's Monday goes well. I haven't been on here in forever, but someone dragged me back on!

S and S

Female

Iraq

2010-03-28 23:27:00