ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsJUNE FILERS STILL WAITING
QUOTE (OsLoraTamm @ Nov 30 2007, 07:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Nov 30 2007, 06:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (julezabelle @ Nov 30 2007, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Nov 30 2007, 06:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know people aren't going to approve of this, but I've been holding it in for two weeks and lucky I didn't post it on the BSZoom site ...

[/size] JULY FILERS SUCK!!!! AND THEY AND VSC NEED TO GET A FRIGGIN ROOM FRO THEIR LOVEFEST whistling.gif

sorry blush.gif


I realize it must suck to be in your shoes, BUT to take out your frustrations on July filers who have no control over the approvals is a bit much. Vent about VSC until the cows come home, but please don't direct your anger at us. I know I feel bad that you so many others aren't approved yet, as do most other July filers, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy about our own approvals.

Thank you.


It's kind of in jest and july people weren't supposed to see it as this is the june and earlier still waiting area blush.gif sorry




It is cool Virgillionaire........It is hard and it sucks and I for one have lost it more times then you have seen here.....I have cussed and thrown things when others have gotten there approvals and said it is not fair and f@#$ them all.....and this is a venting thread so even though I did not say it....I thought it and I am really trying not to rain on there parade but they have to understand how very unfair and unjustice this is for the 40 or so May/June filers who have been overlooked....and it was September and August filers being approved while they sat in limbo they would feel just like us....so I guess understand human emotions and being allowed to express it here....because we are all in this same boat called We're Screwed by USCIS


Thanks Lora. I definitely needed to get that dark humor out of my system a little. But of course Julezabelle I am happy for you guys really just didn't feel like celebrating at this moment.

So I'll revise my rant to be VSC SUCKS AND IT NEEDS TO GET A ROOM WITH ITSELF, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN[size="4"]
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-11-30 19:59:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsJUNE FILERS STILL WAITING
QUOTE (julezabelle @ Nov 30 2007, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Nov 30 2007, 06:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know people aren't going to approve of this, but I've been holding it in for two weeks and lucky I didn't post it on the BSZoom site ...

[/size] JULY FILERS SUCK!!!! AND THEY AND VSC NEED TO GET A FRIGGIN ROOM FRO THEIR LOVEFEST whistling.gif [size="3"]

sorry blush.gif


I realize it must suck to be in your shoes, BUT to take out your frustrations on July filers who have no control over the approvals is a bit much. Vent about VSC until the cows come home, but please don't direct your anger at us. I know I feel bad that you so many others aren't approved yet, as do most other July filers, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy about our own approvals.

Thank you.


It's kind of in jest and july people weren't supposed to see it as this is the june and earlier still waiting area blush.gif sorry
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-11-30 18:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsJUNE FILERS STILL WAITING
I know people aren't going to approve of this, but I've been holding it in for two weeks and lucky I didn't post it on the BSZoom site ...

[/size] JULY FILERS SUCK!!!! AND THEY AND VSC NEED TO GET A FRIGGIN ROOM FRO THEIR LOVEFEST whistling.gif [size="3"]

sorry blush.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-11-30 18:02:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Thanks dbears and TBoneTX, I appreciate your support. Good luck to you both!!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-02-21 16:56:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
FYI I was finally approved today after 8 1/2 months kicking.gif So I won't be making fun of vsc as I'm just sick of them and now I can forget about there incompetence. Anybody else who feels the urge or the need to skewer them here please feel free whistling.gif

Anyway, one last ode to the odius VSC :

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,

you suck
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-02-20 23:00:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (sofia2009 @ Feb 7 2008, 05:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Virgillionare..we are waiting here for ur approval good.gif good.gif ..hope ur last touched is approval.goodluck


Thanks, I hope so, but i doubt it whistling.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-02-08 22:15:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

If you get a glowing review of the adjudicator working your case, these insider definitions might make you a little worried:

AVERAGE:

Not too bright.

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED:

Has committed no major blunders to date.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY:

Drinks heavily.

ZEALOUS ATTITUDE:

Opinionated.

CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH:

Still one step ahead of the law.

UNLIMITED POTENTIAL:

Will stick with us until retirement.

QUICK THINKING:

Offers plausible excuses for errors.

TAKES PRIDE IN WORK:

Conceited.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS:

Buys drinks for superiors.

TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS:

Knows when to keep mouth shut.

APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC:

Finds someone else to do the job.

A KEEN ANALYST:

Thoroughly confused.

NOT A DESK PERSON:

Did not go to college.

EXPRESSES SELF WELL:

Can string two sentences together.

SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB:

Miserable home life.

CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL:

Scared.

METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL:

A nitpicker.

DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP:

Has a loud voice.

JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND:

Lucky.

MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE:

A snob.

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR:

Knows lots of dirty jokes.

STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES:

Stubborn.

GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE:

A coward.

SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE:

Stupid.

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION:

Turns in work on time.

IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL:

Wanted by no-one else.

ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS:

An office gossip.

REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT:

Lazy and hard-headed.

HARD WORKER:

Usually does it the hard way.

ENJOYS JOB:

Needs more to do.

HAPPY:

Paid too much.

WELL ORGANIZED:

Does too much busywork.

COMPETENT:

Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.

CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN:

Pain in the ###.

WILL GO FAR:

Relative of management.

SHOULD GO FAR:

Please.

USES TIME EFFECTIVELY:

Clock watcher.

VERY CREATIVE:

Finds 22 reasons to do anything except work.

USES RESOURSES WELL:

Delagates everything.
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-02-07 17:16:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
From the new VSC employee orientation handbook:

Tips To Look Like You Are Working Hard

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.

People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet.

Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.


2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.

When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.


3. Messy desk.

Build huge piles of I129f files around your workspace.

To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.

Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.


4. Voice Mail.

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.

If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.


5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.


6. Appear to Work Late.

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving.


7. Creative Sighing for Effect.

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.


8. Stacking Strategy.

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.


9. Build Vocabulary.

Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products.

Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. If someone is heading your way with what looks like a job for you or you just want to sound busy as the boss is walking around your department, have a conversation with the phone. Sound very serious but distant. "I'm very busy, I can't do this right now. No, not at all. Just e-mail it to me. Yes, I will check it later."

11. Write big words on file folders, to emphasize how URGENT a task is and how soon something is DUE. If companies send you documents or products to examine, make sure you leave their huge stacks of corporate propaganda on your desk.
12. Your "TO DO" box should be filled, but your "DONE" box should be overflowing with files (never mind that they're empty).
13. Always look preoccupied and busy with a task. Walk really quickly through the office and if someone starts talking to you "Not now, I'm swamped. E-mail me, I'll get back to you as soon as it is humanly possible!" All those deadlines, I tell ya.
14. Get to work slightly before everyone else. Make yourself look a bit stressed (undue your tie or mess up your hair a bit). Each time someone from your department arrives (especially your boss), look at them, look at your watch and then back at them with a look of disbelief and disgust. Increase exponentially for each minute late they arrive.

15. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to the ombudsman by mistake!!!


====================================
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-02-01 20:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (ric @ Feb 1 2008, 12:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Jan 30 2008, 10:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (charlene @ Jan 30 2008, 09:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did you ever hear from the Obudsman inquiry???


Well, the letter states I'll get a reply FROM USCIS within 45 days. So if it's not the ombudsman who answers but uscis, I guess 45 days could be ... 30 days after 45 days or 60 days from the letter or .. never?
But really I'm curious to see if I get a touch to show they at least looked at my file to see what the complaint is about - so far nothing


Here's hoping that the influx of inquiries from the customer service reps, and the ombudsman kicks them in the pants about the outstanding backlog. This is ridiculous. I'm going to go back to my congressperson as well, even tho the regional liason has been ridiculously useless in the past, I'm not letting her tell me that I should just wait another bloody month.

Also, ... that joke was hilariously awesome. My fiance had quite a laugh as well. biggrin.gif


thanks, I only steal the best jokes blush.gif I think the ombudsman could have an impact, I just hope it's sooner rather than later!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-02-01 19:51:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
VSC WORKER

A USCIS Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp and a bunch of I129f petitions. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides and takes the lamp home with him.

While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!" He gets his Pepsi and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."

POOF!

He's back in his USCIS office.
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-30 22:32:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (charlene @ Jan 30 2008, 09:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did you ever hear from the Obudsman inquiry???


Well, the letter states I'll get a reply FROM USCIS within 45 days. So if it's not the ombudsman who answers but uscis, I guess 45 days could be ... 30 days after 45 days or 60 days from the letter or .. never?
But really I'm curious to see if I get a touch to show they at least looked at my file to see what the complaint is about - so far nothing
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-30 22:21:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (reginaait @ Jan 29 2008, 11:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Dec 19 2007, 05:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well, I have lots of time now that I've past 6 months with no 'touches' on my petition and no end in sight. So I've decided to have a little gallows humor at vsc's expense.
Have fun with their initials, tell stories about stupid a$$ customer service answers, tell lazy government jokes. I want to hear them cause I'm bored and need to blow off a little vsc steam ...
Hope I don't violate the terms of service with this whistling.gif

Here's one to get the ball rolling VSC = Very Stupid Central

omg!! did you ever recieve your noa1.. it seems like you should have your noa2 by now.. have you called them?I feel bad for you..


yep, noa1 dated 4 days after i sent it, june 8. It's bizarre how my petition and a few others can go 8 months without being 'touched', while they are approving files from october.
I guess I'll try to go for the record of longest wait for noa2 wacko.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-30 21:37:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
In my ongoing research to find out what the $%#@ is wrong with uscis I came across this new scientific research online:

RE: Dangerous New Addition to the Periodic Table of Elements -

Administratium

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at Turgid University. The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron, 75 vice-neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass number of 312. These 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction in which it is present. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days when it would normally occur in less than a second.

Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistants to the neutron, vice-neutrons and assistants to the vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass number actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. According to one scientist it tends to condense at certain points such as college and university campuses and government centers and can usually be found near the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.

Finally, scientists point out the dangers of Administratium. It is known to be toxic in large quantities and can easily destroy areas in which it is allowed to collect. It has been suggested that Administratium be confined to small doses only to prevent irreversible damage occurring.
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-28 21:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
After waiting almost 8 months now with no activity on my petition I was wondering what could possibly be keeping VSC busy. However, I uncovered this internal VSC memo which may explain some of the delays in processing:



Identifying wasted time
TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: ACCOUNTING

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting

5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting

5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5319 Waiting for Break

5320 Waiting for Lunch

5321 Waiting for End of Day

5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker

5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present

5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend

5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning

5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You

5481 Buying Snack

5482 Eating Snack

5500 Filling Out Timesheet

5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries

5502 Waiting for Something to Happen

5503 Scratching Yourself

5504 Sleeping

5510 Feeling Bored

5511 Feeling Horny

5600 Complaining About Lousy Job

5601 Complaining About Low Pay

5602 Complaining About Long Hours

5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)

5604 Complaining About Boss

5605 Complaining About Personal Problems

5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 Not Actually Present At Job

5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu

6102 Ordering Out

6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive

6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 Using VSC Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing VSC supplies

6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying VSC property

6203 Using VSC Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6204 Using VSC Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen VSC supplies

6205 Hiding from Boss

6206 Gossip

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself

6211 Updating Resume

6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter

6213 Out of Office on Interview

6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching

6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl

6601 Running your own Business on VSC Time (See Code #6603)

6602 Complaining

6603 Writing a Book on VSC Time

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone

7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone

7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone

7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone

7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone

7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone

7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone

7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone

7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail

8600 Staring at pile of unopened files on desk
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-25 21:25:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Apparently from her pics, she is not a dog (poop) person innocent.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-23 18:20:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (Mags @ Jan 22 2008, 05:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've visited this thread before to warn you all about certain things and I'm afraid that I'm doing so again. Encouraging vandalism/lawbreaking against anything (in this case the VSC), regardless of its "jokey" nature is against the TOS.

This is the last warning for this thread. Please cool down a bit guys or I will be forced to lock it. Vent all you want but keep it clean. Thanks.



party POOPer whistling.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-22 17:37:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
VSC Employee Appraisal Sheet / Broken Down by Which Month Files They Are Processing

This form indicates employee performance.

Knowledge

[O ] The son of a b1tch really knows his stuff - (processing October)
[S ] Knows just enough to be dangerous - (processing September)
[A ] Only half a brain and is dangerous - (processing August)
[J ] Fuckin brain damaged, his coffee cup has a higher IQ - (processing june and july)



Accuracy

[O ] Does excellent work if not preoccupied with own reflection - (processing october)
[S ] Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his a$$ - (processing september)
[A ] Has to take off his shoes to count to ten - (processing august)
[J ] Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice - (processing june and july)



Attitude

[ ] Extremely cooperative if you kiss his a$$ frequently - (director)
[ ] Brown nose in good standing - (everyone else)
[ ] Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it's his shop - (adjudicator)
[ ] Doesn't give a #######, never did and never will - (customer service)



Reliability

[O ] A really dependable little sucker - (processing october)
[S ] You can rely on him at evaluation time - (processing september)
[A ] Can rely on him to be the first one out the fuckin door - (processing august)
[J] Totally fuckin useless/worthless - (processing june and july)



Appearance

[O ] Extremely neat, even combs his hair - (processing october)
[S ] Looks great at evaluation time - (processing september)
[A ] Flies abandon fresh dog ####### to follow him around - (processing august)
[J ] Dirty, filthy, dirty son of a b1tch - (processing jume and july)



Performance

[O ] Works like a son of a b1tch, if there's money in it for him - (processing october)
[S ] Does all kinds of good ####### at evaluation time - (processing september)
[A ] Works only if kicked in the a$$ every 2 minutes - (processing august)
[J ] Couldn't do less work if he were in a fuckin coma - (processing june and july)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-22 17:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Jan 22 2008, 04:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (AnewKINDofFEELIN @ Jan 22 2008, 01:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.



Then they'd be the Very Stepping in ####### office!


And when they go back inside they'd be the Very Smelly Center.
Or the Very Shitty Center, but they don't need dog ####### for that to be true!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-22 16:57:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (AnewKINDofFEELIN @ Jan 22 2008, 01:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.



Then they'd be the Very Stepping in ####### office!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-22 16:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Excerpt from the VSC supervisors field manual:

Start with a cage containing five monkeys (adjudicators). Inside the cage, hang a banana (petition) on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey (adjudicator) will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana (petition). As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys (adjudicators) with cold water.

After a while, another monkey (adjudicator) makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys (adjudicators) are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey (adjudicator) tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys (adjudicators) will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey (adjudicator) from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey (adjudicator) sees the banana (petition) and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys (adjudicators) attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys (adjudicators) and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey (adjudicator) with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey (adjudicator) takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys (adjudicators) that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey (adjudicator).

After replacing all the original monkeys (adjudicators), none of the remaining monkeys (adjudicators) have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana (petition). Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how VSC policy begins.
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-17 21:36:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
(40) great asset, qualifies another driver as HOV car
(41) really carries his 'weight' around the office - and that is all (to the water cooler, to lunch ...)
(42) great personality! never sees a problem - even with hundreds of petitions languishing on her desk
(43) very versatile, could easily fill in as scarecrow
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-17 20:49:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (AnewKINDofFEELIN @ Jan 17 2008, 07:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wonder if it would be possible to outsource USCIS to India. It would actually improve customer support. That's amazing.



It's amazing they are paid to give the kind of 'service' or assistance they give us. It's also a little scary as they are, as they say, in charge of protecting America.

Probably let an entire invading army in thinking it's only a marching band smile.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-17 20:39:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
VSC Adjudicator performance reviews
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
(2) "His men would follow him anywhere, ....... but only out of morbid curiosity.'
(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
(11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner he starts, the better."
(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
(13) "A gross ignoramus?144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
(17) "He's been working with glue too much."
(18) "He would argue with a signpost."
(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately detest him."
(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, ..... he's the other one."
(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."
(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;..... he only gargled."
(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-16 20:32:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE ...

VSC SUCKS,

CSC TOO!!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-14 18:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Hmmm, not sure if this is civil or not, kind of subjective that, but it's a sign of the times I guess ...

An adjudicator went to his doctor recently complaining that his weenie turned orange.

The doctor asked "has anything unusual been happening with your activities lately?"

The adjudicator replied, "No, I was working from home yesterday on some I129f petitions, while watching TV and eating some Cheetos ..."
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-11 20:21:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
That smiling simpleton on the homepage on the USCIS website is getting on my nerves!!

I love there slogan, "How can we help you?" How about doing your freaking job right??
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-10 17:56:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (AnewKINDofFEELIN @ Jan 10 2008, 12:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am seriously starting to think that there may need to be a class action suit filed against DHS for their behavior with regards to VISAs. Maybe if enough people joined a suit, they would get their ###### together. Seriously, all of the October and September filers are REALLY pissing me off badly. This process has truly made me change my view on our government.



Maybe that's not a bad idea. I know Lora was talking to the ACLU, I wonder if she has heard anything definitive from them? A couple of posts also had links to well known imigration lawyers, but there is probably no money in it for them ...
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-10 17:53:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (AnewKINDofFEELIN @ Jan 9 2008, 12:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (OsLoraTamm @ Jan 9 2008, 10:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (AnewKINDofFEELIN @ Jan 9 2008, 11:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All you people up there in City Hall,
You're f****n' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you motherf****s in the streets it's time to rise up, up up up
Come along children and f****n' rise!

Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the f****n' s**t that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should f**k s**t up,
Yeah we should f****n' start a riot.
A Riot!



How about a good old fashion sit in at Homeland Security

I'm ready to say it...The Department of Homeland Security is a pure and total failure. This is illustrated both with regards to our immigration issues and the terrible response we are still seeing to Hurricane Katrina.



I agree. It is a gigantic government #######. I'm becoming more convinced that less government is better, it just does not work as intended
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-09 20:08:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
I wonder if I should send my petition in again this month ... Maybe I'll get an noa2 in a few weeks like some of these others and I can just cancel the old one???
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-08 18:00:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
October now, wow unreal and we aren't allowed to even make a service inquiry. It's scary these are the people 'securing our homeland' !!


What did one moron say to the other moron?

"hey, pass me that I129F file please"
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-08 17:33:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
What did one adjudicator say to the other adjudicator??

Can I borrow your crayons!!!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-07 18:20:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
diablo.gif Very Soon Center diablo.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-03 18:10:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Voluminous Stink Central devil.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2008-01-02 21:13:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (OsLoraTamm @ Dec 28 2007, 11:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Dec 28 2007, 09:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What's the vsc adjudicator's nickname for their potted plant?

Smarty!!!




hahahahahahahahahahaha

PLEASE JOIN THE.........
Vaccinate (against) Stupidity Coalition





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Job Placement Aptitude Test
Put 400 bricks in a closed room. Put your new hires in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. Then analyze the situation:


If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.
Finally! If they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor hear what you say to them. Put them adjudicating at VSC or CSC



Wow, we have a winner!!! laughing.gif laughing.gif laughing.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-30 21:23:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
What's the vsc adjudicator's nickname for their potted plant?

Smarty!!!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-28 21:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (OsLoraTamm @ Dec 26 2007, 11:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (virgillionaire @ Dec 26 2007, 09:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What's the difference between an Ostrich and a VSC Adjudicator?

One has their head in the sand and the other has their head up their A$$!



HAHAHA......LOL........Wow you do not care if they read this .........you are a riot..... laughing.gif laughing.gif laughing.gif laughing.gif



Thanks, I really and beyond caring, wish I had a nastier wit really...

what do the other officers call the officer who processes one petition a day?

Speedy!!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-27 18:06:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (V&Steve @ Dec 26 2007, 11:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Very Screwed Center! devil.gif



I like it good.gif
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-27 18:03:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
What's the difference between an Ostrich and a VSC Adjudicator?

One has their head in the sand and the other has their head up their A$$!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-26 21:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
QUOTE (applewow @ Dec 23 2007, 03:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
lol..You added this post on december 19 saying that you didnt have touchs 6 months..and got touch on december 20... good.gif
maybe Very Stupid Center officers are reading this forum... wacko.gif


Guess they can't treat me any worse blink.gif so ... Very Sucking Center
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-23 21:06:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%
Very Simply Clueless!
virgillionaireMalePhilippines2007-12-22 19:51:00