ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
CanadaPassport type photo.....HELP!
QUOTE (Udella&Wiz @ Mar 13 2009, 12:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Walmart will do any size as long as you tell them measurements and for what - I freaked out about mine as well and I think I went back and they redid them.

You will die laughing when you see what they actually do with those first pics (or is it 1 of the Package 3 ones???) I watched the lady, take my photo - take a freaking glue stick and slather it before plunking it up in the top corner of her paperwork.

A slight difference in size shouldn't have been such a big deal.

No one understood what I meant by "Canadian passport size photos." I gave multiple places the correct dimensions and at each place they simply printed out U.S. passport sized photos. They had no idea what I was talking about, despite giving them the information sheet from Immigration Canada.

Many didn't even understand me when I said I wanted Canadian passport photos. They immediately figured I'd be immigrating to the United States (which would be weird considering I was within the U.S. at the time) and got confused when I suggested something else. A few photo places even asked me why I was immigrating to Canada and couldn't understand any reason for leaving the U.S. at all.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-03-13 15:07:00
CanadaYou know what really grinds my gears....
QUOTE (carrieandadrian11 @ Apr 3 2009, 05:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is a "Quick question". Not only is no one asking for a 10 page essay style response with proper referencing, but the "Quick question" title does NOTHING to tell me what your "Quick question" is about. Now I have to take about 4 seconds out of my schedule (depending on how fast my DSL connection is at that moment) to find out if this "Quick question" has any interest/relevance to me. More often than not however, I don''t even open your "Quick question". You would have had a quicker answer had you given more info in your topic!!!


PLEASE NO MORE "QUICK QUESTION" TOPIC TITLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I am about to have an annoying call with an insurance company claims department who has been nothing but a headache so I think I am in an annoyed mood already. My apologies tongue.gif )

I see you haven't met me yet, have you? innocent.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-03 20:17:00
CanadaNot a happy camper this morning
QUOTE (thetreble @ Apr 7 2009, 05:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I hope your dad does come down and speak with her. She needs to realize she isn't the boss. I wasn't the boss at 17 and I'm still not the boss of my mum and dad at 25. laughing.gif

That's right. At the moment, both Tony Danza and Bruce Springsteen are competing to see who's the boss. biggrin.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-07 10:52:00
CanadaAfraid of the Po-po!
QUOTE (Rob and Mel @ Apr 7 2009, 08:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 7 2009, 07:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Rob and Mel @ Apr 7 2009, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had always thought the practice of pulling out a firearm when someone went for something in the backseat was a bit excessive until I did the course that the PD here offered. It's conducted by officers, and they basically put you through a litany of scenarios involving traffic stops. Out of 5 tries, I was dead 3 times, wrote a ticket 1 time, and 2 times, I got so frustrated and annoyed that I actually said a few things that would have gotten me fired. After the exercises, we then watched a video, of scene after scene of the officers at the department (through dashcams) in the exact same scenario.

But if I get pulled over for no reason, and an officer asks to search my car. My response will ALWAYS be "not without a search warrant you won't". And if ever I get pulled over and an officer acts inappropriately or even illegally, I will not hesitate to file a Pitchess' Motion. I know that a lot of officers give people a lot of leeway when it comes to traffic infractions. So, it seems quite arbitrary and unfair sometimes when you are that one person pulled over for going 3 miles an hour over the limit. I would suggest to people who get pulled over and feel that it was unjustified, or even wrong that you have a legal recourse. But some of the judges out there are so beyond rational, I know that unless I had video evidence that I didn't do it, I'd just pay the ticket and go to traffic school.

I've always been under the impression that a police officer can search your car without a warrant if he or she has "reasonable suspicion." I remember a friend (who's a police officer) warning me about this and learning in a law class. Now I'm from Texas, so state laws can vary.

As far as I know in Texas, it's perfectly legal for a police officer to search your car, with or without a warrant, at any time provided they have "reasonable suspicion" that something is amiss. What counts as "reasonable suspicion?" Well... just about anything. The decision is up to the officer. In my experience, however, it's extremely rare for a police officer to search the car. I think it's usually too much hassle.


Gotta love state law variations. I think it is fairly uniform across the U.S. with a few variations here and there (Louisiana). If an officer really wants to get into your car, he can. "I thought I smelled mairjuana", "He fit the description of a suspect in a crime last week" and on and on. However, if this is just a guess, and the officer better be right. The price of being wrong is your job, or the ability to work as an officer. The "Fit the description" line can be particularly bad if it turns that the officer is wrong. Thats racist, and can lead to a huge lawsuit against the officer and department. As an officer, your resume is your personnel file, and it follows you everywhere you go.

Yup. Although depending on the circumstances, the officer might be believed before the individual who was pulled over.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-07 10:50:00
CanadaAfraid of the Po-po!
QUOTE (Rob and Mel @ Apr 7 2009, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had always thought the practice of pulling out a firearm when someone went for something in the backseat was a bit excessive until I did the course that the PD here offered. It's conducted by officers, and they basically put you through a litany of scenarios involving traffic stops. Out of 5 tries, I was dead 3 times, wrote a ticket 1 time, and 2 times, I got so frustrated and annoyed that I actually said a few things that would have gotten me fired. After the exercises, we then watched a video, of scene after scene of the officers at the department (through dashcams) in the exact same scenario.

But if I get pulled over for no reason, and an officer asks to search my car. My response will ALWAYS be "not without a search warrant you won't". And if ever I get pulled over and an officer acts inappropriately or even illegally, I will not hesitate to file a Pitchess' Motion. I know that a lot of officers give people a lot of leeway when it comes to traffic infractions. So, it seems quite arbitrary and unfair sometimes when you are that one person pulled over for going 3 miles an hour over the limit. I would suggest to people who get pulled over and feel that it was unjustified, or even wrong that you have a legal recourse. But some of the judges out there are so beyond rational, I know that unless I had video evidence that I didn't do it, I'd just pay the ticket and go to traffic school.

I've always been under the impression that a police officer can search your car without a warrant if he or she has "reasonable suspicion." I remember a friend (who's a police officer) warning me about this and learning in a law class. Now I'm from Texas, so state laws can vary.

As far as I know in Texas, it's perfectly legal for a police officer to search your car, with or without a warrant, at any time provided they have "reasonable suspicion" that something is amiss. What counts as "reasonable suspicion?" Well... just about anything. The decision is up to the officer. In my experience, however, it's extremely rare for a police officer to search the car. I think it's usually too much hassle.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-07 10:27:00
CanadaAfraid of the Po-po!
QUOTE (Emancipation @ Apr 6 2009, 10:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 6 2009, 12:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
As for Canada... I was shocked to learn that the RCMP uses "ghost cars." I'd never heard of such a thing. I don't think police departments in the U.S. can do that. The idea of a "ghost car" seems extremely unfair to me. How am I supposed to know who is and who isn't a cop? unsure.gif

There are totally ghost cars here in CT.. I see them all the time..

Well, then that explains it. Never been to CT. I know I've never seen nor heard of anything like that in Houston, but I could believe other cities and states do that. Regardless of where "ghost cars" are, I still dislike it.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-06 12:50:00
CanadaAfraid of the Po-po!
Yeah, some police departments (and officers) can be a little overzealous. In Texas, the ones to watch out for are constables. They won't give you any leeway at all. It's often assumed that constables act the way they do because they're much lower on the totem pole than regular police officers.

As for Canada... I was shocked to learn that the RCMP uses "ghost cars." I'd never heard of such a thing. I don't think police departments in the U.S. can do that. The idea of a "ghost car" seems extremely unfair to me. How am I supposed to know who is and who isn't a cop? unsure.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-06 12:44:00
CanadaHow do you like your steak done?
QUOTE (Rob and Mel @ Apr 7 2009, 08:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Krikit @ Apr 7 2009, 07:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo's girl @ Apr 7 2009, 10:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I hate steak.

Sorry. That just struck me as funny. laughing.gif

I hate liver! protest6wz.gif



I used to love liver when I was a kid....... and then one of my cousins told me what it really was blink.gif

My mom liked dirty rice until the rest of told her there's liver in it. tongue.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-07 10:50:00
CanadaHow do you like your steak done?
I generally like my steal medium-rare. My wife likes her steak a little less rare than I do, but then again, she's not a big steak fan.

The poor experiences described at Ruth Chris are a little odd. I've been there and it's been fantastic. My wife thought so too and she can be extremely choosy when it comes to food. Of course, RC is in numerous locations (I went in Houston, TX) so I can't imagine every single restaurant does the exact same thing or even to the same standard. The chef can make a huge difference, regardless of the restaurant's overall quality.

Two other places I've been to -- and I really like -- are Taste of Texas and Pappa's Steakhouse. The latter's name could be better, but it's quite upscale and has terrific steaks (among other other items). What's amazing to me about the Taste of Texas is that it can get full around 4pm. If you decide to go at 6pm, forget it. You'll have a long wait on your hands.

Granted, the above two aren't in Canada. There's only one Taste of Texas and I think the Pappas restaurants are Texas-based, as well. Maybe it's only Houston-based. I'm not sure. unsure.gif

Edited by Sentinel, 06 April 2009 - 12:38 PM.

DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-06 12:36:00
CanadaAlphabet Soup between the USA and Canada
QUOTE (Reba @ Apr 4 2009, 06:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Krikit @ Apr 4 2009, 08:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But I thought this thread was to help us figure out government or business acronyms? unsure.gif I was learning something there for a moment! laughing.gif


Just goes to prove the average time it takes for an internet discusstion thread to go off topic. This one lasted 3 or 4 posts I think. wink.gif

I shall strive to do better next time. smile.gif

QUOTE (Krikit @ Apr 4 2009, 08:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was always getting soakers! laughing.gif

Something about your past you wish to divulge? unsure.gif

QUOTE (Tankgurl38 @ Apr 4 2009, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What does shack wacky mean?

Hmm... devil.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-04 14:43:00
CanadaAlphabet Soup between the USA and Canada
Let's make this easy: Karen's Linguistic Issues.

The link above connects to a website that compares vocabulary across American, British and Canadian forms of English.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-04 01:15:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (Krikit @ Apr 8 2009, 01:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 04:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've been awake for almost 24 hours, so my ability to communicate has steadily gone downhill. By tonight, I'll be grunting.

laughing.gif

Why have you been awake for 24 hours? unsure.gif

Well, last night I had pain shooting down my spine and into my legs. To make things worse, I felt nauseated. So I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 15:47:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (trailmix @ Apr 8 2009, 01:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 04:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Aw #######. Got me there. tongue.gif

I've been awake for almost 24 hours, so my ability to communicate has steadily gone downhill. By tonight, I'll be grunting.


I was wondering - do you notice a difference in the food in Canada - do you find it better, worse, different at all?

I don't notice a difference. I wouldn't say it's necessarily better or worse than what I've experienced in the United States.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 15:36:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
Aw #######. Got me there. tongue.gif

I've been awake for almost 24 hours, so my ability to communicate has steadily gone downhill. By tonight, I'll be grunting.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 15:23:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (Krikit @ Apr 8 2009, 01:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 03:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go. blink.gif

unsure.gif

I have no idea what that means! This should be in the Weird Things Americans Have Said thread. laughing.gif

You know who Davy Crockett was, right? Well, for some odd reason, my grandfather made them sing a song about him. It went something like this: "Davy! Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier!" tongue.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 15:05:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (Emancipation @ Apr 8 2009, 10:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
http://www.cbc.ca/ca...s-dad-0407.html

have you guys seen this?

That doesn't surprise me. Spanking your child has now become synonymous with child abuse, so why not grounding them too? While I don't advocate spankings in lieu of other forms of punishment, I do think there are rare occasions when spankings are necessary.

Here's a funny story: A professor I once had told the class about his daughter. She's young (probably six to eight years of age) and when they were shopping at Target, the daughter started getting very difficult to deal with. When my professor finally threatened to spank her, the girl said: "You can't spank me. We're in public!" Guess what my professor did? He pulled her to the side and spanked her.

QUOTE (childress_london @ Apr 8 2009, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
First of all, regarding the link to the news story, the law has no place dictating how you discipline your children unless it is abuse.

Secondly, I don't know all of the details about the OP's sister-in-law, but my ex husband and I used to get a babysitter periodically and go on a "date". When the kids got older, they understood that mommy and daddy occasionally went out without them and on a date. They actually loved those times because they always had so much fun with the babysitter. Admittedly, this was more frequent as they got older. When children are very young, you are a little nervous about leaving them. On the flip side, there are some mothers who are so attached and/or insecure about their children that they will not leave them with anyone else even for five minutes. My mother was like that. She never left us with a babysitter and I can't remember her and my dad ever going out alone without us kids until we were grown. If your sister-in-law is one of those, then probably nothing you say will convince her to go off without her kids in tow.

That's the issue. No one can really babysit (not her husband, her parents or me) the kids, so she never has any free time. Part of that is just being a mom, but another part is her own fault. She needs to loosen her grip, especially since her oldest child will be in school. Unless she's planning on home schooling them, she'll have to leave her daughter with the teacher.

QUOTE (Udella&Wiz @ Apr 8 2009, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You sound like my brother.. my parents could spank him all day and he wouldn't care.. he was wild and would run down to the highway and lay on the pavement because it was "warm" in the summer.. so they had to tie him to the back doorstep when he played outside.. sure wouldn't be "allowed" today smile.gif

But if you took his lego away.. THEMS was fighting words laughing.gif

My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go. blink.gif

Edited by Sentinel, 08 April 2009 - 02:53 PM.

DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 14:52:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (trailmix @ Apr 8 2009, 07:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 10:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (trailmix @ Apr 8 2009, 06:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have children or don't have them, the choice is completely up to you and your wife, of course, but there is one thing maybe you haven't looked at.

Your own children are different. You love them, you know them, you care about their wellbeing, you care about them more than yourself. It's like when your wife is a witch sometimes, or you are are to her - you don't love her any less and she doesn't love you any less.

I've heard nearly everyone say that before: "Your own kids are different." Maybe that's true (I wouldn't know), but even in that case, my wife and I would still need time to ourselves and each other. We'd need to be adults sometimes, instead of defining our roles as "mom and dad."

Plus I think it's important for anyone's marriage to spend time with their spouse. I realize that kids take a lot of time and effort, but so does maintaining a marriage. Your kids may be incredibly important, but so is your spouse. The very last thing you'd want to do is concentrate so heavily on the kids that you lose touch with your spouse.

It's events like those that can lead to marital problems. Even at best, if parents devote all of their time to the kids, one day after the kids have gone off to college, both spouses will wake up and find they hardly recognize or know each other. Maybe that sounds impossible, but it happens more often than many people might think.



You hear it all the time because it's true smile.gif

But sure, absolutely - i'm sure many a marriage has broken down for that exact reason.

However - you are not a victim - you are a grown up man, you can make your own decisions on how that works. You can make a decision to be a great Father - you can make the decision not to let you and your wife grow apart. If that means 3 days a week you have a baby sitter or family member look after the child - I mean it means different things to different people - so be it.

Now, just to clarify - I am not saying you should have children or that you would be overjoyed to have the little bundle in your arms tongue_ss.gif - people are different - one way is not better than the other in this case.

What I am saying - you are not a victim anymore.

You are right. I am not a victim. If, for some reason or another, my wife and I did decide to have children, we would definitely set aside some time to be with each other and without the kids.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 09:24:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (Sprailenes @ Apr 8 2009, 07:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes carla is correct that me time is important.

But you can't have people demanding it of you, it seems that your wife may want "adult" time with the sister in law while she is visiting family and I think that it's difficult when your visiting family to have "adult" time as well.

It's also not about just asking about the adult time, it's when you're asking for it. It can get pretty complicated once you have children. I know you understand that. I know you are doing your best to be patient. But if you feel so strongly than perhaps the solution is to try to figure out a way to do something with the kids so that your wife can have that time. Yea I know you have said you don't want to be around the kids and the husband should be the one watching them, but as someone else said maybe you and the husband can do something fun with them?

Plus, you're their uncle, whether you like it or not you are going to be an influence in their lives whether you want to be or not, wouldn't it be nice to be the cool and fun uncle rather than the stiff and miserable one?

Oh, I don't know... I'm pretty good at being the "stiff and miserable" uncle. tongue.gif

Seriously though, I don't expect my sister-in-law to drop everything at our request. Maybe wanting some "adult time" at family gathering is a little unrealistic, but there's nothing wrong with setting a date ahead of time. If my wife asked my sister-in-law about meeting up three months from now, I have trouble believing that she couldn't set aside a few hours and have her husband watch the kids.

Yes, I could help my brother-in-law watch the kids if we're at a family gathering. I don't have a problem with that.

QUOTE (thetreble @ Apr 8 2009, 07:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 09:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Carlawarla @ Apr 8 2009, 06:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't even know the "sister-in-law" story! I think I missed it in another thread. laughing.gif It seems this is about your sister-in-law not taking time away to spend with her sister, your wife? If not, forgive me.

Anyway, it just got me thinking that I too find it annoying, and I would really caution people who have kids about this. This is strictly just my opinion though!

I had two children, and it doesn't take away from who I am, or was. I had g/f's who once they had children spent EVERY AVAILABLE moment with their husbands and/or children. As a Mom...heck as a PERSON, I needed time away from my kids!! I needed ADULT time away. This in my opinion made me a better mother. There is a time and place for kids, and frankly, it's not always with adults. Hmm, I'm thinking I may have vented about this in another thread some time ago.

There is a time and place for ME as well. If I don't take care of ME, no one will. This includes time away with my friends and family without my children.

Again, if this is not what this sister-in-law story was about, or doesn't pertain to it, ignore me! laughing.gif

That's exactly what the "sister-in-law story" is about and I think you hit the nail on the head. good.gif


Nu-uh! That is not EXACTLY what you said, DPX. You went beyond the fact of just saying, "I wish my sister in law would spend a little one and one time with my wife..."

It was more like, "her kids are whiny, they scream, they are unruly, why doesn't she discipline them, etc."

How do my feelings on the matter have any baring on what my wife would like? blink.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 09:22:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (trailmix @ Apr 8 2009, 06:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have children or don't have them, the choice is completely up to you and your wife, of course, but there is one thing maybe you haven't looked at.

Your own children are different. You love them, you know them, you care about their wellbeing, you care about them more than yourself. It's like when your wife is a witch sometimes, or you are are to her - you don't love her any less and she doesn't love you any less.

I've heard nearly everyone say that before: "Your own kids are different." Maybe that's true (I wouldn't know), but even in that case, my wife and I would still need time to ourselves and each other. We'd need to be adults sometimes, instead of defining our roles as "mom and dad."

Plus I think it's important for anyone's marriage to spend time with their spouse. I realize that kids take a lot of time and effort, but so does maintaining a marriage. Your kids may be incredibly important, but so is your spouse. The very last thing you'd want to do is concentrate so heavily on the kids that you lose touch with your spouse.

It's events like those that can lead to marital problems. Even at best, if parents devote all of their time to the kids, one day after the kids have gone off to college, both spouses will wake up and find they hardly recognize or know each other. Maybe that sounds impossible, but it happens more often than many people might think.

QUOTE (Udella&Wiz @ Apr 8 2009, 07:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Maybe you can inspire confidence and offer to have a men's weekend with the kids - you and your brrther-in-law could team up? Parents and mothers get into a rut of thinking only they know what's best for the kids. I'ma mom who didn't have many offers of help when my daughter was younger, my brothers and parents had their own lives too - just the way it worked out now. And I was single, so that complicated things more..

Consequently now, because I'm just used to doing everything myself, I have a hard time letting up and taking help...maybe that's your sister-in-law's situation?


Hopefully in all this....we aren't fogetting that the sister-in -law deserves alone time....she shouldn't have to spend it with her sister either smile.gif If she doesn't want to

Hmm... my brother-in-law and me watching the kids. Sounds a little chaotic, but it might be doable.

I think my sister-in-law's problem is that she's afraid to "let go" of her kids, even for a very short period of time. I can understand the fact that she's protective and concerned (any good parent would be), but she doesn't have to be around them 24 hours a day, seven days a week all year long. I'd have to imagine doing such would drive anyone crazy.

You're right. My sister-in-law does deserve some time alone.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 09:11:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (Carlawarla @ Apr 8 2009, 06:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't even know the "sister-in-law" story! I think I missed it in another thread. laughing.gif It seems this is about your sister-in-law not taking time away to spend with her sister, your wife? If not, forgive me.

Anyway, it just got me thinking that I too find it annoying, and I would really caution people who have kids about this. This is strictly just my opinion though!

I had two children, and it doesn't take away from who I am, or was. I had g/f's who once they had children spent EVERY AVAILABLE moment with their husbands and/or children. As a Mom...heck as a PERSON, I needed time away from my kids!! I needed ADULT time away. This in my opinion made me a better mother. There is a time and place for kids, and frankly, it's not always with adults. Hmm, I'm thinking I may have vented about this in another thread some time ago.

There is a time and place for ME as well. If I don't take care of ME, no one will. This includes time away with my friends and family without my children.

Again, if this is not what this sister-in-law story was about, or doesn't pertain to it, ignore me! laughing.gif

That's exactly what the "sister-in-law story" is about and I think you hit the nail on the head. good.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 08:55:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (Sprailenes @ Apr 8 2009, 06:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well said Amanda.

I have no issues with your desire to not have children. I think its great that someone can admit that and not force themselves to become a parent and end up hurting the child in the long run.

You and your wife haven't had children, and won't have children so you can not begin to understand what it is you two call: "mom brain" but when you have children.. EVERYTHING changes. I was 20 when I had my son, so a lot of my friends were still young, boy did I lose them fast. They were all being crazy university students and I was pumping breast milk and changing diapers. I'd go out for coffee with them and I would talk about Ethan and you could just see the boredom on their faces. They didn't understand.

I am sure your sister in law would appreciate "adult time" too, but she can't have it with children that small. Children that small literally take everything from you, all of your energy and if you took a moment to try to understand that, I think a light would go off in your head. You are complaining about a few hours, imagine how she must feel?? She's the mom.

Perhaps the next time you're over there at the inlaws you can offer to take the children to the park so they can spend some of that energy and your wife can have her adult chats with her.

You can't expect your sister in law to go back to the way things were before kids, thats just not going to happen.

I'm sure young kids (and children in general) take a lot of time. I've seen it firsthand. I understand it in an intellectual manner; however, I lack any emotional connection to it. As you said, I have not had children, so the context in which children appear to me is somewhat limited.

That does not, however, change my opinion. I have taken more than a moment to understand it and my feelings are the same. I don't want screaming and over-active little kids around me. I know I wouldn't be the ideal person for them to hang around, so it's in the best interest of all parties involved to limit my exposure to young children.

I know for a fact that my sister-in-law would enjoy some "adult time." If push came to shove and the only option was to watch her kids (something her husband could do), I would volunteer if it meant my wife and her sister could have some time together without kids nearby.

I don't think anyone expects my sister-in-law to revert to her days before giving birth. That would be highly unrealistic. However, there's nothing unfair in asking her to take one or two days out of the entire year to spend some time with my wife. She is married and her husband could watch the kids. I would like to believe he would do that (especially since they're his kids too) if that meant his wife could have some time together with her sister.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 08:20:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (thetreble @ Apr 8 2009, 05:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What I would like to ask you, Deadpool, is why do you think you were bullied from 5 years old on? That's a very long time to be bullied. I'm not blaming you or anything I would just be interested to know why you believe you were bullied for almost 15 years of your life. There was never consideration of changing schools?

Changing school districts would have been far too complex, especially since you go to whatever school has been decided upon for your ZIP code within your district. At least that's how Texas works.

For example: kids living in 77024 and 77079 would go the same junior high; however, when it came to high school, those in 77024 would go to one high school and those in 77079 would go to a different one. You couldn't change schools. The only option available outside of that was to go to a private school (most of which are religiously affiliated).

I know I was bullied for years on end. I remember it very clearly and while not everyone did it, those who enjoyed tormenting me did so mercilessly. I believe part of my problem was that I was shy and very overweight. While neither of those have a lot to do with someone's inner personality, it does make someone a prime candidate for bullies. Being outside the "cool and popular" crowd doesn't help as those inside that clique basically make the rules and whatever they say is not only followed, but believed.

I also wasted a lot of time and effort on attempting to solve the problem diplomatically. I tried talking to the bullies, going to teachers for help and eventually ignoring them. None of those options worked. Bullies want to hurt others, so if they know they're succeeding, that only influences them to continue. The teachers refused to act unless they caught the bullying in action (which they rarely, if ever, managed to do). Even if a teacher did see someone bullying others, the worst that would happen is an hour or two of detention. The bully who was scolded would then take it out on the kid he was originally hurting. A lot of people say ignoring a bully works, but it never did in my case. If I ignored them, they'd simply try harder and eventually resort to violence.

In the end, the only way to solve the problem was to respond with violence. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the only language these bullies understood.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 08:06:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
QUOTE (easytarget @ Apr 8 2009, 03:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can 100% relate to what you are saying. My parents were not even close to ideal. However in their twisted logic, I am sure they think they were the best parents ever.
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 04:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
However, I refuse to be the same man my father was and currently is, which is perhaps the single most important reason for me rejecting the concept of children. Maybe that seems fairly melodramatic, but the only way to ensure I don't become my father is to avoid having kids.

I highlighted the lines above because I had the same exact thoughts that you had. My father treated me terribly, there is a high likely hood I would be a terrible dad. However I decided that I have free will. I recognize the failures of my parents and I can 100's of times better than them. Granted a snow globe would have been a better parent, so I don't have a high bar to hurdle.

If I ever choose to have children I know that I won't let my past negatively influence my actions, I will use what I have learnt to be a good parent, or at least an average one.

Respecting your decision, but hinting at the idea, you have the power to change and be the better person.

That's a good point and in many ways, I have put the past behind me. I know it doesn't seem like it from my previous post, but I rarely think about my experiences growing up.

If my wife and I were to have children, I'd hope that I'd make a concerted effort to be a good parent and not emulate my dad. I won't know until such time that my wife and I do have children (if we do at all).

QUOTE (Carlawarla @ Apr 8 2009, 03:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (easytarget @ Apr 8 2009, 05:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can 100% relate to what you are saying. My parents were not even close to ideal. However in their twisted logic, I am sure they think they were the best parents ever.
QUOTE (Sentinel @ Apr 8 2009, 04:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
However, I refuse to be the same man my father was and currently is, which is perhaps the single most important reason for me rejecting the concept of children. Maybe that seems fairly melodramatic, but the only way to ensure I don't become my father is to avoid having kids.

I highlighted the lines above because I had the same exact thoughts that you had. My father treated me terribly, there is a high likely hood I would be a terrible dad. However I decided that I have free will. I recognize the failures of my parents and I can 100's of times better than them. Granted a snow globe would have been a better parent, so I don't have a high bar to hurdle.

If I ever choose to have children I know that I won't let my past negatively influence my actions, I will use what I have learnt to be a good parent, or at least an average one.

Respecting your decision, but hinting at the idea, you have the power to change and be the better person.


What a wonderful outlook easytarget, so well put as well. good.gif

I'm so sorry you had such an awful time growing up Sentinel. I agree with easytarget, in that you're an adult now, and you are responsible for your own choices. While our past surely impacts on how we see the world as an adult, it seems you recognize that your father wasn't the best role model, but I'm sure you've had other opportunities to see men as parents now, and could make your own choices so that you don't continue the cycle of dysfunction that was your own upbringing.

You've really shared some personal information here, so I'm hoping that some further questions won't offend? Does your wife know about your desire not to have children? Is she is agreement? And something else I'm curious about, and you can tell me to go fly a kite if you wish, how old are you and your wife?

Hugs

My wife knows and she's not particularly interested in having children. She's not completely against the idea, but so far she's shown very little interest and has said as much.

I'm currently 29 and my wife is 32. Because I met my wife when she was 29, I have to mentally recalculate her age. I automatically think she's still 29. My wife doesn't seem to mind... unsure.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 06:44:00
CanadaWhy I don't want children
In the Vent thread, there was a small debate about children. I started it and others entered into it. Some agreed (at least on certain issues) while most seemed to disagree. This thread is to explain my reasoning and hopefully make it clear that I do not hate children nor was I attempting to insult anyone here.

It's absolutely true I don't want children. Although I may find them noisy, unruly and difficult to deal with, that's not all of it. While growing up, my dad was not the best role model. He consistently insulted and belittled me. If there was a way to verbally hurt me, he'd do it. I'm not quite sure why he acted like this. Maybe I was a disappoint to him. Whatever his reason was, he hurt me when he had the opportunity to do so.

Verbal assault sometimes led to physical, as well. My dad didn't "beat me" in the classic sense. There were no bruises or broken bones. However, there were times he'd smack me to get his point across. When I was very young, the most common reason he had for smacking was if I "didn't act a like a man." I was a young child. How did I know how to "act like a man" and what does that even mean anyway? The psychological definition of "man" can vary among cultures and with individuals.

I should add that later on (and to this day), he claims I "imagined" everything. That my memory of the events is faulty and I've perverted the facts to make him seem like the "bad guy." I readily agree that memory can become twisted over time (which is why police lineups are notoriously inaccurate), but over the course of my life, I somehow doubt every single event in my life has been remembered incorrectly. Add that to the fact my mother confirmed my accusations and I have reason to believe I am right.

To make matters worse, I was constantly abused (both in a mental and physical way) by my classmates since first grade. All through elementary school, junior high and eventually high school, my life was an utter hell. There were times I'd fake being sick, not because I wished to avoid school itself, but because I couldn't handle the other students. In tenth grade, I finally struck back -- very violently, I might add -- against those who had tormented me in school. They eventually quit harassing me, but only after terrorizing them. The details of those encounters might be better left for a different thread; however, the point of this is that I was consistently hurt at school. The very last thing I needed was a parent who continued this assault when I was home.

By now I'm sure it's fairly obvious that I dislike my father. He's tried to make up for his actions in the last couple of years, mostly by sending money or paying for certain expenses. I can't help but question his desire to do this if I "incorrectly recall the events of my childhood." However, I'm hardly surprised he looks at financial rewards over emotional ones.

My point to this long and perhaps overly wordy post is that my dad, for intents and purposes, was a terrible father. I grew up with him as my main male role model. I sometimes catch myself thinking like he does, which is understandable considering children model their behavior after their parents. However, I refuse to be the same man my father was and currently is, which is perhaps the single most important reason for me rejecting the concept of children. Maybe that seems fairly melodramatic, but the only way to ensure I don't become my father is to avoid having kids.

Let me add that I strongly commend those who can have children and readily enjoy them. Parenting is an extremely difficult job and one that's often thankless as well. While I don't believe I am emotionally and psychologically equipped to be a parent, that does not mean I resent or hate those who can do it.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 04:55:00
CanadaPaauhau Rental
QUOTE (MrsCat @ Apr 1 2009, 11:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (DeadPoolX @ Apr 1 2009, 12:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is that a Mustang in the second picture? The car, I mean.


'tis my baby. Or the tourist car as my husband refers to it. And no its not the V8. crying.gif

When my wife and I were scouting out places in Vancouver, I rented a Mustang. I thought it might cool. Well, that's the wrong car to drive around in downtown Vancouver. wacko.gif

DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-02 10:37:00
CanadaPaauhau Rental
Is that a Mustang in the second picture? The car, I mean.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-01 01:11:00
CanadaU.S. Citizen in Canada on Tourist Visa- easiest way to get married?
QUOTE (Krikit @ Apr 9 2009, 08:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Emancipation @ Apr 9 2009, 11:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Reba @ Apr 9 2009, 09:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The Canadian immigration is faster only if you apply "outland". Outland apps take about 6 months. If for some reason however you apply "inland" it'll take you about 18 months of rather frustrating and endless paperwork.

I'm hijacking here, but do you know if that's a current wait time Reba? My aforementioned Japanese friend is having a baby in June and she's "inland" and under the impression that it's only a 6 month wait. She thinks she'll be okay for health insurance in June (they filed in Jan) based on the 6 month wait time.. if not, they'll have to pay for the delivery out of their own pockets.. which are not very deep right now smile.gif

Definitely not a 6 month wait. My daughter's friend married a guy from the UK a couple of years ago and they applied inland. It took 2 years for theirs to be completed.

I can't speak for others, but the "outland" immigration my wife and I went through took six months (from beginning to end) at most. Maybe it takes some people longer, but for us, it was very quick -- as far as immigration is concerned.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-13 04:02:00
CanadaLittle Differences Between Canada and the U.S. (Easter Time)
QUOTE (Emancipation @ Apr 12 2009, 10:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
SO yesterday I went to buy hubby a chocolate bunny for Easter, and I went to Target to get something yummy to put out for him from the Easter Bunny (who we all know is REAL)..

Anyway, I'm down in the Easter aisle, and all I can find is baskets & toys, no candy or chocolate at all.. and I panic, and have one of those "holy cow I'm not in Canada anymore" moments, and I'm all discombobulated..

Do Americans not eat chocolate at Easter? Should I have had a bunny sent from Canada.. I left the store totally befuddled, and then went to the hair salon where the girls gently reassured me that Americans DO in fact eat chocolate bunnies but that Target was simply sold out! laughing.gif Ahh

There's your problem right there. You simply don't go to Target for food. At best, Target might be decent for toiletries and a few electronics items. The clothing, food and most other products are simply subpar. It's a lot like going down the chocolate aisle in Wal-Mart and wondering "where the good chocolate is." You're in freaking Wal-Mart! There is NO good chocolate!

If you want good chocolate (or any other item), go to a decent grocery store. Whole Foods, for instance, is a great example. If you're in Texas, Central Market is another fantastic choice.

Bottom line: if you shop at ####### stores, expect to find ####### products.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-13 03:14:00
CanadaLittle Differences Between Canada and the U.S. (Easter Time)
QUOTE (Reba @ Apr 8 2009, 04:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Easter baskets full of GI Joe type action figures and camoflaged tanks and jeeps and play rifles and etc etc, along with candy of course. I've seen them everywhere there's Easter baskets.

That is awesome. Now if only someone would make a dark chocolate tank...
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-08 06:47:00
CanadaLittle Differences Between Canada and the U.S. (Easter Time)
QUOTE (domegirl1978 @ Apr 6 2009, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The U.S. offers almost NO calendar/holiday days off during the year.

There are no days off for Easter because although they call themselves a Christian nation they also go by so-called seperation of church and state. Usually the only people that get that day off are private religious schools or universities, banks and a few other select companies. Maybe you can be employed by someone who would actually give you the day off which would be nice.

My fiance is American and only gets one week off vacation a year. ONE. I have been at my company here in Montreal 6 years and get 3 weeks off every year as off last year. My mother works for a hospital and gets 4 weeks off every year and 4 weeks off unpaid if she wants them.

I really have to get used to have almost no holidays and working more hours a week as most jobs I've been seeing are also 8-6pm in Florida. UGH....no more 9-4:30 for me....HAHA

Some people in the U.S. call it a "Christian Nation." I've never done so. Usually the more die-hard members of the Republican Party are the most dogmatic about it. We do have separation of church and state (which is good in my opinion) and that means religious holidays are few and far between. Most holidays are federal ones.

Edited by Sentinel, 06 April 2009 - 05:52 PM.

DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-06 17:52:00
CanadaLittle Differences Between Canada and the U.S. (Easter Time)
QUOTE (JillA @ Apr 6 2009, 08:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was suprised that Americans/companies don't get off Good Friday nor Easter Monday, especially due to the religious population here. I dunno, I assumed it was a really important holiday but it's not since everything is open and most people still have to work.

I think it depends on the workplace. I've known some places that give off, but I don't think most do. Never bothered me before, but then again, Easter is a non-issue for me. I wouldn't get off for Passover, so it seems fair to me.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-06 12:41:00
CanadaIdeas for old Cds that you can't sell and don't want :)
For some reason, I thought the title of this thread was: "Ideas for old Canadians you can't sell and don't want." unsure.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-13 04:04:00
CanadaCanada postal service
QUOTE (JillA @ Apr 14 2009, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Look on the bright side, at least she got it!

Very true.

Canada Post lost my PR Card the first time around. I'll spare you the entire story, but the point is that Canada Post can be -- and often is -- somewhat less than reliable.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-15 02:20:00
CanadaLess Harassment When Crossing By Land or Air???
I was going to respond here, but then I realized that this isn't OT and as someone else said, we've managed to completely hijack this thread. tongue.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-16 12:30:00
CanadaLess Harassment When Crossing By Land or Air???
QUOTE (BermyCat @ Apr 16 2009, 07:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's definitely not the word choice of black instead of African-American that caused the negative response. It's the fact that the man's colour was included at all. Generally, had someone had a scary experience with a white border and customs officer, they would have simply called him a "scary man". Race only seems to come into it when the person we are describing negatively is non-white.

~ Catherine

Not necessarily. If Rhiann was black, she might have said she dealt with a "scary white guy." The truly racist thing about that is a black man or woman could have said such and not received criticism. If a white man or woman says something similar, all hell breaks loose.

In fact, I've seen such activities here in this forum. A while back in "The Vent" thread, a few members of this forum heavily criticized people they know at work along with using the label "Jewish." Some made the pretense of saying, "I know not all Jewish people are like this" but the point remains that being a Jew came into the picture somehow.

Now tell me... how is being Jewish any more relevant than someone being black? The answer is it's not. So if one is allowed, without fear of reprisal, the other must be allowed as well. Anything else would be discriminatory.

Edited by DeadPoolX, 16 April 2009 - 09:39 AM.

DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-16 09:37:00
CanadaLess Harassment When Crossing By Land or Air???
I really don't see the issue here. Rhiann simply described the guy. Was he black? Yup. Was he scary? yup. So where is that offensive, racist or prejudiced? It seems to me that saying "scary black guy" is just a description, the same as if any other color, race or religion was used. It's not meant to insult, but to give a description.

The knee-jerk reaction here worries me. Have we, as a society, become so indoctrinated with politically correct beliefs, that we're now unable to form an opinion of our own? I'm not suggesting racism; however, I am suggesting that we look at each situation and judge accordingly. Just because someone has add "black" to "scary" doesn't mean that individual is racist.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-16 08:33:00
CanadaLess Harassment When Crossing By Land or Air???
QUOTE (trailmix @ Apr 16 2009, 05:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Rhiann @ Apr 16 2009, 08:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I got flagged recently myself, and it was at Pearson.
I just got an overly alert officer.

I've never really been impressed with Pearson's staff... not that the land border near Detroit was much better.
So many questions, and by a scary big black guy.


Wow Rhiann, the comment you just made about the person being a scary big 'black' guy is so offensive.

I don't know what your prejudices are and frankly I don't care - but can you please keep them to yourself.

Tdot, it sounds like you are well prepared with ties etc, try to remember that and be confident.

I don't think it's offense or at least, not intentionally so. The above was simply a description. Granted, the "black" portion of it probably wasn't needed, but all she did was describe his appearance. It's not like she said anything racist or derogatory.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-16 07:58:00
CanadaWhat's the best (cheap) way to move your stuff?
I wouldn't recommend U-Haul. The condition of their trucks are terrible. The trucks move slower than a lawn mower and turns about as well as brick. You might get lucky, but overall, I'd avoid them like the plague.

If you want to drive and use a truck, I'd suggest renting a van or SUV from Budget. That's what my wife and I did. Granted, we drove from Edmonton to Vancouver (which isn't nearly as far as you're traveling), but the vehicle we rented was very large, could fit a ton of stuff, and was much nicer to drive in than any U-Haul truck.

UPS and FedEx are expensive, but if you're shipping anything and want it there quickly (and intact), I'd go with FedEx. UPS broke some of my DVD cases, all of which were hard plastic. The DVDs themselves were okay, but the fact remains, it takes a lot of force to break one of those hard plastic cases.

Unless you sell most of your stuff or send only a few items by FedEx (or UPS, if you really want to), it'll cost more than $500 for the entire thing. Renting a vehicle, whether it's U-Haul or Budget, will be pricey.
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-02-18 13:06:00
CanadaCrossing the Border- No Ties
QUOTE (flames9 @ Apr 19 2009, 06:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I brought them, but never was asked to produce them!!

I often think U.S. Customs is less demanding than Canadian Customs.

My wife was rarely asked for any proof (although she had it on her) when entering the U.S., while I had to produce ties (in numerous forms) on a regular basis when visiting Canada. Maybe she has an honest face. tongue.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-19 09:10:00
CanadaWhat do you do?
QUOTE (Rhiann @ Apr 19 2009, 06:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm still in Canada currently.
I'm a cake decorator for a grocery store's bakery.

I went to college for Culinary Management, but ended up hating the kitchen... and I love cake decorating, so here we go.
It's alot of fun.

You might like this website about unusual cakes then. smile.gif
DeadPoolXMaleCanada2009-04-19 09:53:00