ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
PhilippinesWhat are your 'friends' saying?
:thumbs:

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!! :dance:


:thumbs: :dance: :thumbs: :dance: :thumbs: :dance:
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-07-01 12:31:00
PhilippinesVery strange interview requirement / request

Yes, she showed them her own Cenomar. I have just never seen any stories on here with this situation. She still communicates with the father and they are on good terms. So it would have been no problem getting a Cenomar from the father. I just have never seen anywhere were it states it is required. Now I understand that is kid is involved and I am all for the extra precautions but they need to list them somewhere.

The money one baffles me. Basically our great American Embassy doesn't believe a single mother over there can raise a child on her own without help! She is very smart and independent and doesn't need my help. My IRS forms and W-2's should be more than enough evidense of support when she gets here. Yes I have sent money from time to time as well as gifts and also given her all the money I had after my two trips over there. But once again, is supporting her while she is still in PI a requirement?

Sorry, I am just frustrated.

Again the main reason of posting this is for the benefit for others who maybe in the same situation.


I was not supported by my fiance when i was in the Philippines. To be blunt, i find it insulting for a guy who is not my husband to support me or my family.

My experience, the first interviewer who was a filipino was the one who insisted that i should show my remittances to her. When i told her that i dont have any, she insisted on it. The interviewer received several Nos from me. On my last No, i knew she could hear from my voice and see from my face that i'm already irritated. It was then she said that remittances is a common thing in american-filipina relationship. Guess, there are only few of us filipinas who does not accept support from the USC during the courtship period.

For the second interview, the CO was a white american woman. It was an easy inteview and i got approved immediately. She did not even bother to ask for remittances. I used to work from a fortune 200 company and the CO knew that i am financially stable.

If your fiancee does not have any remittances then she should insist that she has none. IF they really asked for it, then let her show her philippines annual income to prove that she is financially stable.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-08-15 15:54:00
PhilippinesAnyone did an xray prior to their medical exam at st luke's Manila Philippines?

I hate to say this, but it seems every 3 out of 5 people that undergo an xray during their medical on this clinic had undergone sputum test, even if they did a prior xray, and it checks out ok, no scarring no dots no issues, when they do the xray at st luke's they starts to find scarring,I am not saying they are wrong, but something smells fishy....like for example,this guy I know,clean living, he's a seaman, they always have medical every quarter of the year,and he always given a clean bill of health, he and his family about to migrate to the usa, and did the medical at st luke's and voila, they seen scarring on his xray's, he's so frustated about the result as to what happened and how,and he could not complain as this is the only clinic being recognize by the embassy,so I ask you guys to share your opinion and experiences with regards to this...


I had an x-ray prior to my medical for my yearly company check-up. Result... clean.. st luke's result.. clean. No issue on both x-ray results.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-08-31 20:11:00
PhilippinesClothes Advice for My Filipina Wife

If it was entirely up to me, I'd have her shop exclusively at Walmart for her wardrobe, but apparently my fashion sense is just above that of a whino's. So I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to shop for clothes for her? Miniskirts with long boots? Low cut blouses? Are there any clothing stores that cater to arm candy with discriminating tastes?


I wont suggest any store but this is how my husband did it. He went to petite section, find a sales person with same body type as mine though not necesarily same height. He asked for the latest fashion, picked some clothes, then asked the sales person to try it. If clothes fit, then it would fit me.

I would say, he has good taste in clothing.

Edited by rheanick, 19 August 2011 - 08:49 AM.

rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-08-19 08:49:00
PhilippinesApply for U.S citizenship or not ?

Just a quistion in my head for couple months now. I have couple friends here in the U.S that already a U.S citizen, and they keep asking me if when I'm going to apply for my citizenship. I keep telling them I dont know and It's not in my mind to give up my filipino citizenship, but they thought It's an Idiotic descision of me lol. All my family is in the Philippines and 100% for sure they have no plan to come live here in the U.S lol. I'm only here in the U.S because of my husband and coz of his work. But as of what he promise me :rolleyes: we will move in Philippines as soon as he retire in 11 years and have enough savings to build a small business there for us... well atleast that's the plan lol.

Also now that we are having a baby, It only makes me more think to just keep my filipino citizenship so our baby can also partially filipino citizen. I dont know if that is right though LOL.

So I'm just curious if what is really the benefits of being a U.S citizen if you are already legally living here ? :)


Mine is for travelling. I'm done applying for travel visa.

I postponed our trip to Europe this year since i need three different visas to go around the countries i want to see in Europe.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-09-21 18:11:00
PhilippinesCrime-Safety-Advice-Pepper Spray

I fly to Manila alone. Today another VJ'er told me four kids circled him once in Manila while his fiancee was with him. The one in the back reached in his pocket and grabbed his leather glass holder out while he was fighting off the three in the front.

He also said that the police will even target you and ask for your passport and might ask for 10,000 peso to give it back.

Does anybody have any other stories ?
I want to carry Pepper Spray but I just read you can't take it in Customs or on checked luggage when flying into Manila. Is this true ?

I didn't have any trouble when I was there but safety is my number one goal and I am just trying to learn. Please share your advice.


There are some areas in Manila that even locals would stay away from.

My hubby been out and in of the Philippines from 2000 - 2005. Never had bad experiences in the Philippines. Never been asked for money in the airport or stop by police. In the contrary, one story from him, police would even give his car a priority to pass in the highway or escort him for a awhile to ensure that he does not get caught in the traffic. Btw, hubby always hire a car with own personal driver everytime he was in the Philippines.

There are bad and good part of Manila. You just need to know where to go.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-09-28 18:16:00
Philippineshelp with mama

man, I haven't posted on the thread for a while, jsut letting it take its toll on [people winding out. Sheesh. I love mahal ko. I am happy she spent money on her family and took care of them versus spending money on herself. It shows me how important family is to her. If she cares about her parents and family that much, how much more will she care about our family we have together?

the problem is the lack of forethought. the spending without saving. Being ready for a "rainy day". there is a typhoon right now in northern Philippines. I feel sad for everyone it is affecting.
It is also affecting the village. they cannot fish. I do not have money to send them. I just got back and have to catch up again. MIL went out and spent money on paint instead of saving the money. Now the family is hurting for food, plus learning, I just cannot send money right now. No matter how much I want to, there are bills and responsibilities here now with Gretchen. (MIL had money to make it through rough times until I recovered here and MIL spent it on paint. I can't fix the "little red wagon" when I have to wait on the parts to fix "the wagon" myself.) I even told FIL it will be a few weeks before I can send money and then only 4300php a month. (it cost me including work loss a total of 740,000php for the trip) the problem is they are not and were not considering the expenses here. that money I sent to Gretchen had to be coming from somewhere. there was no thought to the fact the money might be the same amount I would spend to take care of her here in the US per month. I am now in the learning curve. MIL, and the family in the village is learning. If you take form the pocket, you are affecting something else. This time the money you took from the pocket affected their daughter in the US when we got back. I tried to explain to Gretchen how tight the budget was. The first week it worked. The second week, it did not work. I hate putting my foot down right now. But there is no better time to learn. Get through the rough weeks now versus not learning and having to repeat again down the road. Next time, Gretchen will be saying "no" much more often when she knows how it affects things back home.


Darren,

You mentioned that gretchen's mom is a loaner. A person who likes to loan is hard to change. Loaners of this world love you if they could get something from you. Loaners dont care if you have dont have money or you did not eat to give them money. Loaners just want your money, period. And if you could not provide it, then you are the meanest and baddest person in earth.

I'm not blaming you fully on the events that unfolded, just partially.

Good luck on your marriage.

Gretchen has to learn how to handle money and make decisions for her family.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-09-26 17:49:00
Philippineshelp with mama

ok, new post. Sorry so long but hopefully the more information, less torment from others. How to deal with mama in law? told her and the family: "akin sya ngyon" (she is mine now. Gretchen is extremely happy I said this. It seems to have really improved our relationship. i told Gretchen "your parents no longer control you. I do. We are not married yet in vows, but you live with me here. In my heart, we are already married.")

I really truly very very very very much respect the parents of mahal ko.
mama is holding a grudge against others from the village here in the USA because they are not helping out the village. mama does not want her daughter associating with them. mama does not understand if mama cuts off her daughter from them, her daughter may not succeed in adjustment to USA. She does not seem to understand USA too much. the others helped out their family. They could barely afford to do that and right now have lost much. mama seems to want to really "run the village since she is president of the chapel". I told the brother I am trying to be nice. mama does not want to make me upset. (I haven't told Gretchen or her parents yet, but those same people mama does not want her daughter to associate with will be the witnesses for the wedding here in the USA. the same people mama does not want Gretchen seeing will confirm the marriage and help Gretchen to stay here. mama is messing with Gretchen's future and in turn mama's own future.)

(But when I hear mama trying to influence things on her daughter, who no longer lives at home, she had better start thinking who wears the pants and who wears the dresses. Also mama needs to start thinking of the "gravy train". I am focusing on here now with Gretchen. I have told papa very little money will be coming until I recover financially from the trip. Gretchen and I went shopping here tonight. Gretchen noticed the cost of food and items was much, much higher than back home. Plus, we have to go Sept 8 through Sept 29 with no paychecks. What we spent while I was there in the philippines is now affecting us here. Gretchen is learning the budget was there for a reason. the next 2 or 3 weeks will be tough, but better to teach now than later. Friends have offered to help out, but i have told them, "thanks, but helping out does not re-enforce the budget or how her parents home affects her new home. How she lives here is directly affected by the money which was spent over there.")

Also, I am going to be really putting down my foot. Seems mama was out buying paint today. I just saw things while I was there. I believe and not yet confirmed the 6,000php I gave to Gretchen in Manila went directly to mama with or without papa knowing. Mama getting her hair done right after we landed, eating lunch at the mall makes me believe that. papa may not have known since he asked me for money to go home and food. Or maybe they told Gretchen not to tell me. (they bought a new purse for Gretchen and underwear (Gretchen told them but not me which upset me) as well which makes me believe they had the 6,000 php) Either way, it has upset me and Gretchen now knows hiding things from me is a bad, bad thing. I have told Gretchen to tell me her needs and wants. Gretchen did not yet see herself as belonging to me while we were there. I hope I have finally cleared this up.

I have told the oldest brother, mama would do well and may fare better in the long run by listening to the daughter of the mom who I am friends with here. I have talked with Gretchen about this too in much length today. (I will post more on this discussion later.) Gretchen now understands fully where I am coming from.


Darren,

You are experiencing the common activities of the people in the barrio.

With you flaunting your money and Gretchen's family announcing to the whole barrio that she landed a "big fish" or commonly term as "kano" you are IN for more money asking activities covering different type of emergencies in the near future. I put big fish under quotation coz no matter how poor or rich you are here in the US, the people from the barrio would always think of you as rich american.

How you handle your marriage life and Gretchen's family are none of my business. Just do whatever you and Gretchen think are proper to make your marriage work.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-09-21 18:05:00
PhilippinesOnly In The Philippines!

So I bought my sweetheart a scooter until I can get her here ... my girl doesn't take jeepney or trikes anymore :no:

I go to have her get insurance for the new Yamaha Mio but they tell her that they are not insuring any more vehicles because of the number of thefts in the country !!

What a problem.... LOL


With the input from the insurance company, i would reconsider your fiancee driving a scooter in her place. Scooter theives must be rampant in her place.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-10-08 14:23:00
PhilippinesAny filipina?

Is some filipina here going to seattle? i never meet a lot of pinay here..


There are several filipinas in seattle. I went there for a seminar in 2010. If you go to walgreens in seattle market, there are some filipinas working there. The sales manager of a hotel besides the stadium is also a filipina. Just walk around.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-08-30 12:35:00
PhilippinesNeed Advice..

This is much better advise than telling the 18 year old to grow up on the way to Manila. Not only will she not have time to grow up she would be terrified, intimtated, alone & lost at a very difficult time for anyone at any age. Any mistakes made would have a huge impact on the outcome but on the lives of both of these people.
The info about the Fil- AM couples may be a great help.


And btw, are you aware that if she does not know how to survive this travelling on her own or even asking a family member/relative/friend to help her out.., HOW THE H*LL WOULD SHE SURVIVE THE US CULTURE???

If she does know how to stand on her own two feet, unless she has a very contol freak and he-man in charge of a husband... she would be a burden to her future husband and to the US.

And never never undermine tha capabilities of a filipina...
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-10-21 19:00:00
PhilippinesNeed Advice..

This is much better advise than telling the 18 year old to grow up on the way to Manila. Not only will she not have time to grow up she would be terrified, intimtated, alone & lost at a very difficult time for anyone at any age. Any mistakes made would have a huge impact on the outcome but on the lives of both of these people.
The info about the Fil- AM couples may be a great help.


This is the nicest post i have seen! A thailander knowing the best advise rather that other filipinas who grew up in the Philippines and knows the Philippines culture by heart! And yes... I am beingsarcastic here.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-10-21 18:49:00
PhilippinesNeed Advice..

She lives on the island of Guimaras. She lives about an hour motorbike ride from anything. She has never been to manila. She is just 18 years old and is very worried about doing anything. Her parents have never let her go anywhere alone. They also have never been to Manila or outside of iloilo they pretty much never leave their home area.


She lives in an island. She could go to Cagayan De Oro first to get a flight to Manila. Get a hotel that provides transportation to pick her up. Bayview hotel in front of the US Embassy might have a pick-up option.
Guimaras is a well known tourist area in the Philippines.

If you meet in the internet, she decided to find husband via internet of which a very shy and conservative local girl wont think about. She is not as helpless as you think she is.

Edited by rheanick, 20 October 2011 - 06:36 PM.

rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-10-20 18:35:00
PhilippinesNeed Advice..

I was just perusing this forum looking for unrelated info and saw your post. I am not one to get on forums and such but all the naysayers got my attention so thought I would try to give some useful info.

For airlines, I would check Eva Air and China Airlines. Both have reasonable fares < $1000 from the West coast. And fees to change flights are reasonable, unlike the US based carriers. Example, we flew China Airlines from LAX to MNL for $650 round trip in March. Had to change return flight which only cost $30. If you are not near the West Coast, which I am not, fly Southwest to LAX. Unlike the other US carriers can just buy one way tickets and change flights or use unused tickets with no penalty. I usually buy cheapest fare I can with them about 3-4 weeks in advance and then keep checking for something cheaper. And if not sure on the return, I buy separate one way ticket, and just watch the fares and try to finalize a couple weeks in advance to get best deal. Tue and Wed usually cheapest days to fly, but sometimes Sat Sun also good.

Despite what others may say I would suggest you avoid any Agency (most all are scams and ripoffs)and if possible do fly and help your fiancee as much as you can. I had found some good info on this forum but the whole process can be very confusing. Getting anything done in Manila takes forever, long and multiple lines to stand in for everything. St Lukes could take 2 days. Timing could be a problem as there is a time gap between the medical and the interview. I think two weeks for us. Not sure what current rules are as it was 4 years ago for us but I did go with my wife to her interview (i think I saw where US citizens can no longer do so). We stayed at the Best Western, walking distance and not too expensive. She was very nervous and when that happens her English tend to fail her which is common. (even after 15 years of going to the Philippines and with my wife for 8 years I still have to remind myself of the cultural differences) The Filipino clerks at the US Embassy tend to give their fellow Filipinos a hard time but the Consulate is American so more understanding. Our interview was mostly me and him talking sports. If you cannot accompany her then practice with her in English the responses to the typical questions they will ask. You can find on this forum.

Good Luck.


This is a very good suggestion.

If the OP is going to the Philippines, i would like to warn him that their might be unforseen expenses besides the visa application, i.e. a celebration before she leaves the Philippines. I have seen how the people in the mountain areas celebrate. The whole town is invited, even a passing tourist will be asked to join in and eat with them.

Though i would recommend for the OP to experience celebrations in mountain provinces... It really highlights the culture of the Philippines.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-10-18 14:12:00
PhilippinesIs there something wrong with how Filipinos use the word "Until"?

An example would be "Until now Palawan is beautiful" meaning palawan has been beautiful and is still beautiful including the time I say this. Whereas if Americans say that sentence it would be interpreted as Palawan was beautiful before and now it's not. Make sense?


The "until now" could be the english version of "hanggang ngayon". Hanggang = until, ngayon = now...

She could be saying "hanggang ngayon palawan is beautiful" or "until now palawan is beautiful"

If you would google until to be translated to tagalog or filipino... until = hanggang
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-06 18:45:00
PhilippinesHave you already been together a while

I am interested to hear from any couples in here, that already have their mate here in the US or have been married for a while. How is it working out ?


Doing good. Typical ups and downs of marriage life.

Feedback from friends: Hubby and I look happy
Feedback of hubby on our relationship: He is recommending to his single friends that if they want someone to really take care of them they should consider a filipina wife. [My response to this comment, they have to get a responsible filipina coz bad ones still exist. ]

BTW, I am not my hubby's slave... i have maids that clean our house. :whistle:
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-10 14:41:00
Philippinescan we make an appointment?

1. Pay the visa fee at BPI.

2. Try to schedule your interview online every day. When you finally are able to schedule your interview, you will know that the Embassy has received your case and has entered it into their system. This way, you don't have to call them every day to find out if they have received your case and have entered it into their system.


Do this suggestion. Call center agent wont schedule you unless you are in the system.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-10 13:49:00
PhilippinesIs this a Bigamous Marriage?

Ok. People are wondering why I am foucising on a bigamy issue...

I have a divorce lawyer and have spoken with other divorce lawyers. Before we found out that she used the wrong name with one of the divorces, they all have said that her divorces and marriage to me are valid and that out marriage is valid, regardless of anything else she has done.

If we get divorced, she is entitled to half of everything that I have and built towards without anyhelp from her whatsoever. Inlcuding half of my assets, half of the equity on our home and half of my retirement benefits. HALF if not more.

Now if it turns out to be null and void from the beignning, she will not.

And before anyone starts attacking me for being in a marriage for 13 years and leaving her out in the cold without a penny, I have no intention on doing such a thing. But it is not the issue we are discussing here, so lets please leave it at the discussion topic at hand.



Is she a resident of USA? If she is not... one argument is that she is a filipino citizen and the philippines does law does not recognize divorce unless there is an annulment or the USC is the one that filed for divorce. You could request her marriage certificate from the NSO (though i know you should have the name of her filipino husband, i may be wrong)) 2) request for a certificate of marriage from NSO. If you have these data... possible argument is that succeeding marriages are null and void.

Same time petition to have a full custody of the child for her being an unfit mother.. with all those lies...

Also, try to talk to lawyers who know filipino laws. You might get another viewpoint from them.

Edited by rheanick, 10 November 2011 - 10:31 PM.

rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-10 22:30:00
PhilippinesIs this a Bigamous Marriage?

even if the Philippines does not recognize divorce. your wife divorced to her former husbands are legal and valid. i don't know what's the reason behind it.. but... let me tell you a short story i had a friend who is now married to a US citizen and presently living in California. before she marry her husband. her marriage is still valid to her former husband and not even started to file for annulment and also she was considered as illegal alien in the US.. but 2 months prior to her wedding. he filed for divorce with the help from her atty.in SF CA and then sent documents to the Philippines for her former husband's approval(signature)and then that's it the rest is history.
I guess judge in the US are knowledgeable enough to know everything about law in the US as well as in the Phils. if the law does not apply to both country decision will not be made


The filipino husband is stupid enough to recognise that divorce is valid in the Philippines.

This case happened to my filipino friend and he was left to believe that it is valid. I did a research on the matter and told my filipino friend that if he wants to get even with her wife in the US, this could be done legally coz the divorce is not valid
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-09 11:01:00
PhilippinesCFO and homosexuals

After all the stress of getting my wife to me, here's something I was thinking about recently...

What are the chances of the CFO "forbidding" someone who is homosexual to depart to be with their loved one?

Would the CFO discriminate just because the male or female is homosexual?


last article... since you like your thoughts to be out and shared with other people... here is an article worth reading...



How a Parent’s Thoughts Shape Their Unborn Child’s Life



We often hear the first 3 years of a child’s life are the most important. So for the first 3 years with our children, we play the right games, buy the right toys and read the right books.

But recent studies prove that 6 months into a pregnancy, the fetus is already aware, reacting and emotionally active. At 6 months, the unborn child can see, hear, experience, taste, feel and even learn.

So a child’s physical and emotional health is being shaped before it’s even born. And part of that shaping is determined by how the parents – especially the mother – feel about life and each other.

Creating a child’s personality

On some level, what the pregnant mother feels emotionally is transferred directly to her unborn child. Because of this, constant negative emotions can have a damaging affect on the fetus.

The fetus absorbs negative emotions like anger, stress or frustration. Feelings most adults experience throughout their stressful days. However, the most harm is done when a mother doesn’t want the child. These and other negative emotions shape the baby’s personality.

Then there’s the father…

Throughout the pregnancy, the fetus is also affected by the father’s feelings toward the mother and their child. That’s because the fetus can absorb its parents’ emotional energy. This energy helps create how the child will see itself in its life ahead. For example, it will feel happy or sad, be aggressive or meek, secure or insecure.

And some studies show parents begin affecting their child’s personality soon after conception.

What messages do you send your baby?



Research shows soon after conception, a level of consciousness exists in the embryo. As the fetus develops, its subconscious stores information to prepare it for its mother’s environment. But, the father’s role in relation to the mother is also important.

By the sixth month, the fetus can hear and move in rhythm to its mother’s voice. Imagine the different influence this has if the mother is happily singing or yelling in anger.

It’s no surprise that sonograms taken while parents yell at each other show the baby’s entire body flinching in agitation. Imagine the damage caused by months of feeding this negative energy to a fetus. Frightening, isn’t it? In fact, studies show a bad relationship between parents increases the child’s risk of psychological and physical damage by a startling 200% or more!

How your subconscious thoughts affect your fetus

Another powerful way parents affect their fetus is through their beliefs. I’ll explain.

Your life is a reflection of your beliefs. These beliefs come from a lifetime of experiences and interactions with other people. Most of these beliefs are subconscious. And they quietly “program” your mind to react to your world. If these beliefs are negative, it programs our minds to be self-defeating. We see it everyday in people who say, “I can’t___”, “I’m not good enough to ___, “I have am so unlucky ___” and so on.

As expectant parents, the negative programming usually comes out in fear:
…“Am I going to make the same mistakes my parents made?” …“Will my baby be healthy and deliver naturally?” …“Can I adequately provide for my child?”
Single mothers often have additional negative emotions like:
…“Will I be enough not having a father around?” …“Can I really raise my child alone?”
During the pregnancy, parents who dwell on negative thoughts send these feelings to the fetus. In turn, this programs fear into the child before it even enters the world.

It is extremely important for both mother and father to understand their emotions and deal with them in an effective manner. Continued stress for the mother takes its toll on her unborn child. Whether the mother’s thoughts and emotions are positive and reinforcing or negative and rejecting they are helping to define and shape the child’s character.

Supporting your desire for a healthy child

No matter what the situation, any parent can give their child a strong, healthy start. It begins with their choices made during the pregnancy.

The physical and emotional health of a fetus is shaped by the parents’ environment and their emotional well-being. That’s why it’s vital to feed loving, positive energy to the fetus throughout the pregnancy. Doing so helps ensure a happy, healthy, confident child.

If you’d like to learn more about a child’s emotional development in utero, I recommend

“The Secret Life of the Unborn Child” by Thomas Verny, M.D.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-21 14:39:00
PhilippinesCFO and homosexuals

My question was not related to OCD and what you posted is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand.


I think you would like this article... Be careful on what you thoughts of... :whistle:

The Power of Thoughts: What You Focus on Grows

Posted on November 15, 2011 by Monica Magnetti


Power of Thoughts

We often underestimate the power of thoughts! Try paying attention to your thoughts for a moment. I’ll bet if you had a dollar for every time you thought about what you DON’T want in your personal life and your business life rather than what you DO want, you’d be a millionaire.

The power of thoughts is huge, much bigger and more influential in our lives than we think. When you focus on scarcity or what you don’t want in your personal life or your business life, that’s what you get. But when you focus on what’s plentiful or what you do want, that’s what you create, that’s what grows. You create the circumstances and experiences that validate everything you believe.

If you believe you’re going to fail, you probably will fail. On the other hand, if you believe you’re going to succeed in your personal life and your business life, the odds of succeeding increase dramatically. That’s the power of thoughts. Think of it as the act of painting a self-portrait. If you call the portrait “My Success,” the colours, brushstrokes and forms will be different than if you call it “My Failure.”

Imagine a blank canvas that represents your life. Now imagine a palette with all the types and colours of paint you want. The life you create on the canvas, using the paints you want, represents the power of thoughts. Every brushstroke is a thought. You are painting your personal life and your business life. And the choice of what you create is yours. How powerful do you want it to be?

When you embrace the radical act of living your personal life and your business life with intention, you are embracing the power of thoughts. Those thoughts are the fast route to your destination. Open your eyes with intention to the connection between your thoughts and the results they bring. Surrender to the reality that you can hold only one thought at a time. Which thought will it be?

Science has proven that our brain can hold only one thought at a time. What thoughts are you going to choose? Powerful thoughts or thoughts that keep you small and weaken your self-esteem? When you ignore the power of thoughts, you become your own worst enemy. But when you grasp your big, enthusiastic thoughts, your personal life and your business life begin to flow … smoothly, effortlessly.

Believe in yourself and what you want in your personal life and your business life. Take action with integrity and hold yourself accountable to the power of thoughts. In no time at all, you will find success becoming easier and easier.
Ask yourself, “Who am I when I have powerful thoughts? Who am I when I embrace thinking with my big mind?” Then make the choice … and choose to live your personal life and your business life with intention. Make peace with yourself and surrender to the power of thoughts.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-21 14:32:00
PhilippinesCFO and homosexuals

In case you missed the topic description under the title, it said "random thought." No, I'm not going to petition a man.

We are all human and I am curious if the people at the CFO feel that they have the last say on anyone's relationship, especially if it is against their ideas of what is "right." And wondering if anyone has ever heard of this.

I am always thinking...and I'm not trying to be mean/nasty by saying this, but maybe you should give it a try sometime.

TO ALL WHO READ....If you have nothing valid to offer in this conversation, then please don't post.


I dont know you personally. And trying to make sure that people posting here about their random thoughs dont have OCD problem.

So you have a lot of free time and wants your thoughts out... Read the article....


Thought-action Fusion and OCD

Equating Thoughts With Actions May Cause OCD Symptoms

By Owen Kelly, Ph.D., About.com Guide

Updated August 22, 2010


OCD is a complex illness with many causes, including biological, psychological and social factors. A psychological process that may help cause and maintain OCD symptoms is thought-action fusion. Let’s explore the relationship between thought-action fusion and OCD symptoms.

What is Thought-Action Fusion?

Thought-action fusion is when you believe that simply thinking about an action is equivalent to actually carrying out that action. For example, if a thought randomly pops into your mind about something unacceptable -- such as murdering your partner -- you would believe this to just as bad as actually harming them.

Thought-action fusion can also lead people to believe that thinking about an unwanted event makes it more likely that the event will happen. For instance, you might think that by imagining a loved one dying in a car crash, it somehow increases the chances that this will actually happen.

Thought-action Fusion and OCD Symptoms

The degree to which someone with OCD is prone to thought-action fusion predicts how severe their OCD symptoms will be. This has led many to suggest that thought-action fusion could be a cause of OCD symptoms. Interestingly, thought-action fusion and OCD symptoms and could be linked by another psychological process called thought suppression. Although just about everyone experiences strange, bizarre or shocking thoughts throughout the day, if you have OCD, you may overreact to these “dangerous” thoughts by trying to suppress them, which only causes them to come back worse than before. Of course, this can lead to a vicious circle of more thought suppression followed by more distressing thoughts.

Thought-action fusion may promote thought suppression by making you feel that your thoughts are "dangerous." Indeed, if you believe that the thought of harming your partner popping into your head is equivalent to actually having harmed them, then understandably, this is a dangerous or threatening thought. In this way, thought-action fusion and thought suppression may work hand-in-hand to create distressing obsessions. And in turn, such obsessions can lead to debilitating compulsions, which are used as an attempt to neutralize or undo the feared outcome or thought.

Thought-action Fusion and OCD Treatment

Addressing thought-action fusion is a key component of many cognitive-behaviorally oriented psychological treatments for OCD. Although the imagined link between thoughts and actions is almost always illogical, if you have OCD it can sometimes be difficult to have insight into the irrationality of these thoughts. Therapy focuses, in part, on challenging the imagined link between thoughts and actions/outcomes through experiments or observation.

For example, if you are afraid that thinking about a bomb going off in your workplace makes it more likely that this will happen, you could intentionally think about this and then see if this feared outcome comes true or not. Although initially distressing, these types of experiments can help challenge beliefs about the link between thoughts and actions as well as make thought suppression less likely; indeed, if your thoughts are not actually dangerous, why push them away?

Behaviorally-oriented therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) also work to build flexibility in thinking rather than trying to eliminate distressing thoughts like obsessions using a variety of mindfulness techniques, metaphors and life enhancement exercises. ACT teaches clients to be less invested in their thoughts, which helps to avoid to the tendency to label thoughts as dangerous.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-21 14:15:00
PhilippinesCFO and homosexuals

After all the stress of getting my wife to me, here's something I was thinking about recently...

What are the chances of the CFO "forbidding" someone who is homosexual to depart to be with their loved one?

Would the CFO discriminate just because the male or female is homosexual?


Are you thinking of petitioning a man later on? :devil:
Scary thoughts when you are just done petitioning your wife.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-21 12:28:00
PhilippinesHaaaaay RFE

Hey guys, well..., we got our RFE.

There's 3 listed on there;

1. Lack of signature (Easy yay!)
2. Letter of Intent (a little confused..)
3. Additional proof of having met in person (kinda crazy)

I was hoping maybe our experienced VJ'ers who have gone through the process can give some insight?

For the letter of intent, we used the template we have here on VJ. I'm not sure what was wrong with the first one but we'll use the same just making sure to sign with blue ink and indicated the date we signed it.

Additional proof is where is gets really crazy. This is what we included in the initial packet;

- copy of passport stamp
- copy on his itinerary
- boarding passes (only departure though with his name and Philippines on it, he cant find the arriving ones)
- hotel receipts (from 3 different ones)
- tour package receipts
- utility bill (from the condo we stayed at)
- medical receipt and prescription (he got sick while he was here)
- pictures of us together

I honestly thought that would be enough, but apparently it isn't.

We will be sending the same exact things (except maybe pictures) because it really all the proof that we have. I'm not sure what else they are looking for.

Any advice guys?


Letter of intent... we did not follow the VJ sample. I used the VJ sample for my interview document.
My hubby (then fiancee) made a one-liner letter indicating his intent to marry me.
Mine is a card with handwritten acceptance of his marriage proposal. Card is kind of cheesy but they accepted it.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-29 10:49:00
PhilippinesHaaaaay RFE

Hey guys, well..., we got our RFE.

There's 3 listed on there;

1. Lack of signature (Easy yay!)
2. Letter of Intent (a little confused..)
3. Additional proof of having met in person (kinda crazy)

I was hoping maybe our experienced VJ'ers who have gone through the process can give some insight?

For the letter of intent, we used the template we have here on VJ. I'm not sure what was wrong with the first one but we'll use the same just making sure to sign with blue ink and indicated the date we signed it.

Additional proof is where is gets really crazy. This is what we included in the initial packet;

- copy of passport stamp
- copy on his itinerary
- boarding passes (only departure though with his name and Philippines on it, he cant find the arriving ones)
- hotel receipts (from 3 different ones)
- tour package receipts
- utility bill (from the condo we stayed at)
- medical receipt and prescription (he got sick while he was here)
- pictures of us together

I honestly thought that would be enough, but apparently it isn't.

We will be sending the same exact things (except maybe pictures) because it really all the proof that we have. I'm not sure what else they are looking for.

Any advice guys?


You could send the same thing but package it differently. Bundle the receipt and pictures base on the dates.

Bundling suggestion:
1st... Passport stamp arrival to and departure from the philipines.
2nd: His itinerary
3rd: 1st itinerary... pictures (put date and place at the back), hotel bills, restaurant bills (if you have it).. stapled together
4th: 2nd itinerary pictures (put date and place at the back), hotel bills, restaurant bills (if you have it).. stapled together
5th 3rd itinerary (put date and place at the back), hotel bills, restaurant bills (if you have it).. stapled together

etc...
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-11-29 10:34:00
Philippinesadjusting

i just got here in US yesterday and the place where i stay is very cold (hubby said isn't that cold). i'm having difficulty adjusting with the climate. is there someone here who experienced it too and now overcome it? i wanna know how u guys manage it... :D


if after 4 layer of clothing and you are still cold, put three holes on a black garbage bag and wear it. Just make sure that the black garbage bag is clean. :-)
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-03 22:46:00
PhilippinesAny possibility of a tourist visa for a Filipina while an I-130 is pending?

So, from what all I have read and from our own experience, a visitor visa seems hard to get, even with a career, land holdings and family and money in the bank as ties to the Philippines.


I was able to get a tourist/business visa in the US in 2005 while already dating my hubby (boyfriend -> fiance then). I was approved coz i was guaranteed by my previous employer.

Though in the case of the OP, it would be hard since they have a pending application. The application is a proof that she intent to migrate.

Edited by rheanick, 07 December 2011 - 12:17 PM.

rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-07 12:15:00
PhilippinesBelgian documentary

Why would it make people angry? An explanatory sentence is always good to include in a post like this.


I think the OP's comment is based of her emotion as a filipina.

I watched a portion of it and get slightly irritated. But the thing is, its a reality. It's happening. I only feel pity to these women.

Why would it make people angry? An explanatory sentence is always good to include in a post like this.


I think the OP's comment is based of her emotion as a filipina.

I watched a portion of it and get slightly irritated. But the thing is, its a reality. It's happening. I only feel pity to these women.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-07 12:07:00
PhilippinesFilipino Attitudes

I can't believe there really are some pompous, arrogant Filipinos. I'm shocked at the thought...shocked I tell you! It's true with other nationalities, but it simply can't be true with Filipinos! Please tell me it isn't so! :o


It isn't so! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-08 16:13:00
PhilippinesFilipino Attitudes

It maybe the culture, but I've also noticed that not only do they (Filipinas) talk openly about how much possessions cost, but they also freely discuss how much they and their husbands make for a living. Americans generally NEVER discuss salaries and such, keeping these details private.


Yup, some like to discuss salaries and how much money they make.

Funny experience:

I dont really like telling my background or my financial status. I meet this filipina in a party, she asked what i do, i told her that im a housewife. Its funny how she looks snobbish. And when i told her that the director in their company is a friend of mine, she told me that directorship is a common position in their company. Her comment made my night, though i could not really laugh out loud. I did a little digging and realized that she is a travel agent in the company where my friend is working. And i think i understand where she is coming from. She got a position that has no priority and just lashing out on those innocent victim that she thinks lower than her.

Anyway, in my opinion, the higher than thou attitude basically rooted on the insecurities of the person. And as other mention, its not limited to filipinas.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-05 13:29:00
PhilippinesFilipino Attitudes

It's a competition, even among friends, and it bothers my wife. That part is definitely Filipina. The nosiness thing and the gossip thing seems to be a female trait, taken to the extreme by the third world women. Even her Mexican coworkers ask way too many personal questions about us, how much we make, how big is our house, what is my job, blah blah blah. When I got married, I lost any semblance of privacy.


I met several filipinas like that, nosy, insecure.
Asking the price of my computer, our sofa, my watch, how many bedroom we have in our house. Since they are asking, i normally answer them the truth.
This is the funny part... if they know that you have more money that they are, they would think of something to insult you or your husband.
And i was like thinking... what the f#ck, insecure b#tch... Though i normally silently laugh at them.
Last step, scrap them out from my friend's list.

Edited by rheanick, 03 December 2011 - 06:45 PM.

rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-03 18:43:00
PhilippinesFilipino Attitudes

I'm an American citizen by birth, but my parents are both Filipino, who immigrated to the U.S. many years ago. I'm fully aware of all the opportunities and privileges I've had growing up in this great country. My parents have always been humble and in turn, have also instilled in me humility, gratitude, and appreciation for those who struggle to make a better life for themselves and their family by experiencing first hand what my parents have gone through.

I love my Filipino culture and I've been to the Philippines many times throughout my life and lived there for 4 years. But there's one thing I've noticed that really bothers me… Why is it that after Filipinos immigrate to the U.S. and finally come back home to the Philippines… their attitudes change, and act like they're so much better than everyone? I'm not saying all Filipinos… but in my experience, I've noticed that many "americanized filipinos" come back with this arrogant, sometimes pompous, attitude like they are above everyone.
I'm curious to what others may think... Any thoughts?



1). Its the attitude that i call Nouveau riche or new money. This is from someone who financially in the lower status of the soceity and somehow gains money and perceive oneself higher that the rest of the humanity.
2). Its the discrepancy of the rich and the poor in the Philippines. If they think their richer that the rest of the population they would love to show it off.


Having a privilege mingling with the dirt poor and the super rich of the philippines,i observed that there are really big differences in attitude between the two. But you can bet there are lots of good people in both poor and filthy rich. But the one i find really fascinating are the poor people that suddenly gotten some wealth. Their attitude are very comical (in my opinion) towards their old friends who are still poor and they have this pathetic display of gestures trying to convey that they are from the old rich of the philippines.

My opinion...
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-02 11:02:00
Philippines4 days ......

hi all,

Hope everyone is doing well. 4 days until the wedding.... and someone won on HYY today.....yes I am a a fan of HYY now. hehe. Lots of planning going on. got the prayer garden, minister, wedding dress, photographer, video, tables and chairs for the house, ordered some food from jeepney bistro and streets of new york. Working on getting wedding cake. scheduling hair appointment for fiancee. Still need to look at what tie, and cumberbund I need. see if I still have my suspenders for my tux (glad I own one.) Got the wedding license. don't know how many people are showing up.... maybe a few and maybe a lot. just have to order the Italian food and wedding cake. Gotta get the wedding cake order in today or tomorrow.

Nothing like procrastinating.... but a lot has been done.... just a simple wedding ..... very very simple....


Try Roberts Catering for wedding cake. Reasonable price yet taste great.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-06 21:13:00
PhilippinesI-94... can be extended???

same case... just opened another thread coz penguin_ie closed the old thread similar to this case.. but anyways, just want to make it clear to other new Pinay giving wrong advices or comment about immigration to a thread on this kind of case.. the life of an unfortunate pinay is at stake on this and we cant give any falls hope too... this is reality and legal immigration...


The I-94 can not be extended.

Tina.. you have a kind heart. Just make sure that you dont get manipulated and taken advantage of by other Pinay.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-12 12:23:00
PhilippinesI made my wife of 5 months cry.

knew this had to be one of those bait and tell good story later posts.....after eveyone jumped onthe wrong side of the tracks.... wish he would just provide information in the beginning..... these posts when it is ambiguous, it is beneficial to wait before jumping.....


You were not yet active when junior was trolling Visajourney. Baiting everyone into bickering by not telling the complete story then make a 360 degree turn when everyone would start pointing on his stupidity.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2011-12-27 14:08:00
PhilippinesI gotta know

I like your thinking. Each day of my life I am thinking more or less the same thing you are thinking.

Two of my major concerns:

I like to keep my place very neat. I only eat or snack in the kitchen dining table. I will not bring food to the living room, home office, bedrom, etc.
Hubby is quite neat too... I asked for my own room where i am not required to be neat all the time and hubby is not allowed to complain. This is a kind of thing you talk and settle before you get married.

The second, (No offence to no one please)I noticed when I went to the Philippines that frying food is a big hit there. I like frying food but I refuse to cook it in the house. It makes a big mess in the kitchen and also it is not healthy at all.

I stir fry a lot. For the healthy stuff, I use extra virgin olive oil on all my frying. Frying is not messy at all. Always cover your pan.

We will see how we can work out those things :). One thing for sure, I like to make her at home and happy so some of my rules will need to be bend..for the love of her :) now that was sweet ?

Marriage is a compromise. Whether you like it or not, you have to bend some rules. Nothing sweet about that. If you are not ready to bend some rules, dont bother with marriage.


rheanickFemalePhilippines2010-09-26 18:50:00
PhilippinesBalikbayan Box in the plane
QUOTE (ilovemyDirtdoctor @ Jun 13 2009, 09:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello to all pinays here who travel to USA...I planned to leave last week of this month to USA and i a losing hope of sending my things in the courier here in PI most of them give me vauge answer... I need your help now guys, I was thinking na lang to bring my balikbayan box with me, the dimension of the box is 20''x20'x20 and it weight about 33 lbs . it is possible to bring it with me and have it checked in? how much do you think will be the cost for the extra baggage and its excess? hope someone tried this path and share some info...thanks in advance.


What's the airlines?
rheanickFemalePhilippines2009-06-13 16:17:00
PhilippinesBring my Chihuahua

Oh well I got an answer to my own question..

Anyway.. let me share for others to keep them as thier guide..

Pls note that: If you are travellig to the United States and you have multi-stops,
your pet won't be quarantined or be checked in with the customs but the final destination.
If you have lay overs for example in Guam or Hawaii-- you will just pass through since you have
connecting flights. The problem would be only be at the final destination wether that specific state
wiill quarantine your pet or not.


I disagree with this post. The main concern is the POE not the final destination.

http://www.cdc.gov/a...ation/dogs.html

Please research more and prevent giving advise without proper link or documentation.

Edited by rheanick, 04 August 2010 - 03:34 PM.

rheanickFemalePhilippines2010-08-04 15:33:00
PhilippinesBring my Chihuahua

Hello everyone.. I really need the help of all FILIPINOS here who had an experiences in Bringing your pet to USA.

I would like to know the route you took, because I heard it is very complicated specially if your first stops would be JP and HK, customs for those countries required specific permit which obtained from them.


I would like to know what you did? and what happened at the custom?
What would be the best route with no issues at the custom..

My pet is a chihuahua 2kgs.. too tiny to be shipped, I would like to have him as check in luggage or in the cabin with me.

Pls Help....



For chihuahua, you have to buy her own ticket though she would be staying under the seat in front of you. There is a shipping dog company here in the US that arrange papers for travel of dogs. I forgot the name, try to google it. The company arranges papers for pets travelling abroad.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2010-08-04 13:08:00
PhilippinesLooking for friends here in az

Gilbert.

Gresheene will join me once her visa is approved.

Posted Image

She's from Mindanao, Camen, Cotabato, but studied nursing in Davao.

:thumbs:


There are a lot of filipino in Gilbert. There is a christian filipino fellowship in Gilbert.
rheanickFemalePhilippines2010-09-20 17:51:00