ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Africa: Sub-SaharanLeaving for Gambia
Just wanted to stop in real quick to let ya'll know I'm leaving for Gambia tomorrow to visit with my honey for two weeks. YAY!!! I'll be sure to post pics when I get back.

:dance:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-04-27 09:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Back

Thanks for sharing PurpleSky. So your fiance is Nigerian? I would love to keep updated on your progress and see your pics! Be blessed.


Yep my honey is Nigerian. I just love him to pieces. :thumbs:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-05-20 21:05:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Back

Welcome back! Sounds like you need a vacation from your vacation :yes:


LOL Thanks. I promise I had fun! Really. :lol:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-05-20 14:00:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Back
Hi Everyone!!!

I'm back from my two week trip to Gambia. I had a good time and really enjoyed getting to know my honey even better. I went over with questions (was I doing the right thing...am I crazy...how will this be...will we decide to forgo K-1 and just get married...and a whole other list of questions). I got the answers to those but came back with a whole list of others. LOL

I will say that going to Gambia (as beautiful as it is) shed loads of light on the dark spots I had with certain parts of our relationship. There's always the "I wonder if he wants to marry me just to come to America" question and I have to say, I feel very confident that isn't the case with him. I also found out that there were things that he tried to hide from me but as I'm a pretty devout Christian, I believe that God will always give you vision and expose things that can hurt His children. It is up to us as His children to react accordingly. Long story short, God revealed some things to me and I called my fiance out on them. First he just sat there with his mouth open wondering how I knew, then he admitted them and begged me to understand why he didn't tell me from the beginning. They weren't huge things (at least in my eyes, but to him they were enormous) and I honestly wouldn't have looked at him any different had I known from the beginning. It was just that he tried to hide them from me. I had this long talk with him and pretty much said if he can't trust me then he absolutely shouldn't marry me. I even had a tantrum and threw both of my engagement rings at him and refused to wear them again until he proved himself to me. :blush:

After prayer together and more talking, we overcame that hurdle. I also got a taste of what it would be like to be married to him (as much as two weeks could allow. ) I purposely went over with only a little money because I didn't want it to seem like he would have it made here as they seem to think Americans are soooooooo rich. I allowed him to manage the money I brought over and we did quite well. I didn't starve to death and he even gained a couple pounds. :rofl: I will definitely be posting pictures this weekend. I just wanted to check in.

I still have a doubt here and there...it's not because of mistrust or anything...just normal "cold feet" type of things. I realize the fragility of the man that God has given me along with his strength. I know I must take care of what I've been given especially considering the limitations my honey has. I have begun to find a balance with stroking his ego, praising his strength and caring for his weaknesses (I don't know why it seems that Nigerian men need more of this balance than other men. But I absolutely adore my Naija-born and bred sweetie. :rofl: ). I ask myself very often, would I still want to marry this man if he was already in America and I was able to be with him on a daily/regular basis and my answer continues to be yes inspite of the "not so good" things we went through while I was there. I take it to show that this thing is real. Every relationship has a point where you think you can't move past things but somehow you find yourself further down the journey because you've decided not to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble or at the first sign of a weak area. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying ignore blatant things just to say you've got yourself a fiance(e). I'm just saying pray/meditate and really listen to what is being said during those times. One thing I know for sure...this is definitely not a journey for the weak!! :no:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-05-20 12:35:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
I WAS finding this topic very helpful until recent posts. This topic is about one woman's story as told by her and is meant to give a view on what can be looked out for so some women don't make very painful mistakes. Speaking from my experience American women (mostly Black 'cuz I am Black of course. LOL) can be very drawn in by foreign men. They usually put us in a place where we've never been with appreciating us and treating us special. They are very charismatic, loving and accepting. For some, this is just what they will do to get to America. For others it's true. We as women HAVE to be aware of these things in order to make the right decision.

This topic doesn't need to turn into he said/she said. moveonpl you could have accomplished your side of the story without maligning idocare because it makes you look malicious (and from my POV makes what you said look suspect even if it is true). You could have just posted in the Happy Sub Saharan thread we have a couple topics down from this one. To join a site simply for a personal attack isn't something someone operating in God's love will do. In my Christian world we are placed in situations and pulled through so we can help others. Just like our gifts, our troubles aren't meant for us, they are meant for others. They give us an opportunity to grow personally and exhibit that growth. So for me, I appreciate this topic because it presents me with another side of the "love from abroad" story.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-05-27 07:52:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIs this an African thing?
LOL nope it's not just your honey. Mine does the same thing. I thought I was pretty well prepared having grown up in a very multicultural atmosphere but still had to take a moment to think on the actual meaning of "I'm coming" or "Let me come...". At first I was like what in the...? LOL But I soon realized he meant "I'm leaving" or "Let me leave and come back" :rofl:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-05-20 16:32:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Next
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your baby. I know the God we serve has already won this victory for you. It's just the battle that makes us weary but you can and WILL pull through. You will emerge even stronger and even wiser. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord! It's wonderful that He vindicates just for us! Even in your storm praise Him anyhow...and watch the reward. (F) (L)
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-07-28 16:19:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanApproved
Congrats!!!! YAY!!!!

Even though this isn't my situation, I still enjoy reading about others' journeys. Never know when it might be of use to someone. (I prefer to say that rather than attribute it to nosiness :rofl: )
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-07-28 16:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigerian Bride Price

BUT..... Its depend on the CO interviewing your husband. I believe their was a story here on VJ where there was a Nigerian man (I believe he was living in Ghana at the time), well anyways he went for an interview there, and they turned him away saying that they will transfer his file and be interviewed in Nigeria. Well long story short, that mans visa was denied. (I forgot the specifics of the story but it is here in the Africa:Sub-Saharan section). Wherever your man is being interviewed, kill the CO with a lot of evidence so they wont have a reason to deny you. All the Best.
Nwanyioma


ARRRGGGHHH!!!! LOL thank you for the info! I'll search for the topic you're speaking of. Prayerfully since he's been living there for almost 5 years it will be ok. :D
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-02 23:37:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigerian Bride Price
Thank you ladies!!!

I'm left to wonder why the infamous Asian woman in the Lagos consulate told the USC (in the topic I was referencing originally) to file for a CR1. SMH! I am sooooo happy my honey (even though Nigerian) won't be processing there since he lives in Gambia now. I've been begging my friend to process from London (where she lives now) rather than return home to Lagos.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-02 19:56:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigerian Bride Price
I was reading one of the topics here where someone's K1 visa was denied due to the USC giving money to his fiance's parents. The CO considered that to be bride price so advised the USC to file the spousal visa instead. IMO their spousal visa would be denied too for lack of documentation or a marriage certificate.

I got to thinking about a friend of mine just about in a similar position and wondered if this would work for her and her fiance. Your thoughts are welcome:

My friend's family has allowed her fiance (USC) to submit a bride price for her when he (USC) is ready so they won't have to get married in Nigeria (they want to avoid being separated during the spousal filing process). Once the USC pays the bride price to my friend's family they are married according to her custom. Would it be possible for the USC to have papers drawn up saying something to the effect that he knows that once he pays the bride price he is effectively married to my friend? This document would be signed by him and his pastor. On the other side, my friend and her family sign papers saying they acknowledge the bride price and recognize they are now married. The idea would be to now have documented proof of marriage allowing my friend and her now fiance turned husband to file for the spousal visa.

Could this work?
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-07-29 08:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRecipes
I know this thread is old but I felt the need to resurrect it. :rofl:

My honey can't wait to get here and eat American food. In his words..."I know I will be fat in America. It is American way". Not exactly sure how I feel about that though :lol: When I was visiting him, he showed me a few dishes (stew, bitter leaf, garri (I think that's how it's spelled) and foofoo) while I showed him how to fry chicken "our" way...by flouring it first. I would love to surprise him when he gets here by making his favorite Egusi Soup. He also likes these little donut things, I forgot the name of them but they remind me of plain Munchkins.

Here's a recipe for Egusi Soup from a Nigerian friend of mine (she's not good with exact measurements which I find to be pretty much the same everywhere...even I "just make food" rather than measure it out)

Egusi- Melon seed
Dried fish
Palm oil
Stock- Knorr
Beef
Vegetable leaf- Ugu or spinach
Dry African pepper

Cooking instruction
Boil beef with knorr, onions, water, salt, after 10 to 15 minutes, add the dried fish. Once cooked get a dry pot, add palm oil to the empty pot, then add the dry melon keeping stirring, then add the cooked stock of beef and dried fish etc to it and keep stirring, allow 5-10 minutes then add salt, knorr and finally the spinach or Ugu leaves and you are ready to go. DO NOT OVER COOK THE LEAF.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-08 14:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanTo renew or not to renew?

thank you all for the advice. i'm going to get on the phone with south african airways and hash it out with them over the phone. these days, their ticket prices seem to be cheaper than what delta is proposing.

whoops! i did this multi quote thing all wrong. taurean and purple sky, thank you as well.


You're welcome! Also if you didn't know this already, you can call the airlines (ie Delta) often their rates over the phone are lower than what's published on the website. I believe it has something to do with trying to deter scammers.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-19 10:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanTo renew or not to renew?
Definitely renew. As for the airline tickets...just as Nigeriaorbust and Taurean suggested roundtrip ticket for you. If you want to go a little cheaper Air Morocco has pretty good rates for a oneway. When FH is approved, a one way from Dakar to NYC was only $736 that was including taxes.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-18 18:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNaija women on the lookout

what? i would have been pissed. #######. don't disrespect my peoples.


See I wasn't pissed probably because 1-these women were Nigerian themselves. 2-I can't imagine the number of people who come through there that ARE scammed. 3-I know our (FH and I) story and know that it's real. Water off a duck's back for me. :)
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-18 18:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNaija women on the lookout
This happened to me TWICE today and I thought it was amusing (not to mention being touched that they thought of me) and wanted to share.

I called two of the Nigerian embassies here (DC and NYC) to ask about my honey getting a corrected passport (his name is spelled wrong) without having to actually go back to Nigeria to get it. (For the life of me I couldn't understand why he couldn't do it at the Nigerian embassy in Gambia or in Senegal. Thankfully the NYC lady explained why that wasn't possible). Anyway on BOTH occasions just before I hung up, the women asked "how do you know this man? Where did you meet him"? I have to admit the first one to ask me (in DC) caught me off guard and I answered right away without asking her why she asked. When the NYC woman asked the same thing, I told her but before I could ask her why it was relevant she said "Good. There are so many women being scammed on the internet today. I want to make sure you know him".

I thought that was very sweet of them. Although I do think a little nosiness had something to do with it too. :rofl:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-06-08 10:36:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCase Re affirmed
Yay!! So happy for you. I pray that this gives your hubby renewed hope and that it was just the stress off all this. Good luck hon!
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-27 05:44:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLagos IR-1 Visa granted after 3.5 years!!
Whooohoooo!!! So happy for you...about time!!!!
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-09-13 16:25:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria Happy Independence Day

NICE!!!! where can I get one of those T-shirts?


I made mine on CustomInk.com
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-04 00:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria Happy Independence Day
FH was laughing at me because he called to tell me Happy Independence Day (he's the Nigerian) and I was like honey how did you know I'd be partying in honor of you? He said because you're my baby and I know you love me. LOL It was sweet. He got a good laugh when he asked how did I party and I said well I went to work with my I LOVE MY NAIJA MAN tee-shirt, my Ivie bead and my little Djembe drum making a big ruckus. The few Nigerians that work with me just shook their heads and told me where the REAL party was. :rofl:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-03 11:39:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanOk so how should we do this?
Thanks patient! Yes just as I thought...we need to be more patient. LOL Well the bright side of this is at least I got a touch today (after almost 2 months) so maybe things are starting to move again. :D
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-04 00:29:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanOk so how should we do this?
FH has to go back home to Nigeria to get a new passport because his last name isn't correct on the one he has (why he didn't fix it when he first got it 4 years ago, I don't know... :bonk: ). So because Nigeria has a new passport in general he has to go all the way back...we've been told that neither of the Nigeria Embassies in The Gambia or Dakar have the machine to make this new passport. While he is home we were going to have him do his police certificate as well as get a certified copy of his birth certificate. The idea was to do everything at the same time so when he returns to The Gambia he has what he needs and won't have to make another trip to Nigeria.

Here's the problem: We haven't heard back from VSC yet so we're not sure when to schedule his trip back home. We're kindda hoping that in the waiting process the new machines will get to either Dakar or The Gambia thus alleviating the need to take the trip (and saving us some money). But should those Embassies not get the machines when should we plan on going? Should we wait for the notification of the interview date before scheduling or should we just go ahead and schedule for him to go back home at the end of this month (OCT)? My worry there is that his police certification would expire. :help:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-03 12:01:00
Africa: Sub-Saharaninterview experience in lagos

welcome to the land. Hope u can be seeing money on the trees the way people at home use to think. just joking. congrat


LOL funny you say this...my FH is always talking about he's going to do this and buy me that when he gets here. He tells me to pick out whatever I want and when he gets here he'll get it all. :rofl: I keep telling him things aren't that easy here that he has to get settled, start working, have taxes taken out, etc. He says I don't care honey...all I need is opportunity. I hate to burst his bubble but the good part is once it is burst, I'll be there to pick up the pieces. (L)
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-09-16 15:40:00
Africa: Sub-Saharaninterview experience in lagos
Congrats and welcome!!! :dance: :dance:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-09-13 16:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCard production ordered!!!!
Congrats!! Yay!!! :dance:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-14 21:49:00
Africa: Sub-Saharanpregnancy for k1 visa applicant in nigeria is that a red flag?
I'm sure someone with more knowledge will come pipe in but my look on it is it may not. I say that because since SHE is the USC there seems to be this thought out in the world that we are a loose bunch without many moral values when it comes to sex. If I were in the position you are in I'd definitely have her get her doctor to write a statement that indicates the possible date range of conception (which should coincide with her dates of being there with you). If she's possibly high risk I would have that noted as well.

Congratulations Poppa and many blessings to you all. :D
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-19 07:39:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFiling a petition again after a divorce

So if your husby is Nigerian....how are you guys petitioning in Senegal? THat is one of the things Im trying to look into, cuz if I go back ther to live with him for long..Id rather be somewhere a little better than NIgeria. Is your husband a resident of Senegal because of work or school?


Even though my fiance is Nigerian he's been living in The Gambia for the past 4 years. The Embassy in The Gambia doesn't usually process family visas so he has to go to Dakar to get processed.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-21 19:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFiling a petition again after a divorce

not true. i was present at the interview as well.


Ooh yay! Maybe things have changed. The reply from the email I sent to the consulate said I could enter the embassy with my fiancé but he would be going through the interview itself by himself. I'll check it out again cuz I'd decided not to spend the money going over there if all I could do was sit in the "waiting room" while he's interviewing. If I can go in the interview itself with him then I'll try to make the trip again.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-21 15:57:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFiling a petition again after a divorce

That will be horrible if they do that. Wat if we were residing somewhere else? Like in Senegal (they allow petitioners to go to the interview, unlike Lagos). If he can get residency there, could we go thru the embassy there, or would it still have to go thru Nigeria because that is where he is a citizen of?


In Senegal they allow the petitioner to enter the embassy with the beneficiary but the beneficiary still goes through the interview by themselves. Really the only thing you're doing is waiting with him. Which could make the whole experience a little easier. :)

I would say it depends on how long he's had residency. I can't say that it would be wise to move somewhere just to go to that consulate especially because he would still have to go back to Nigeria for a few things when if he was already there, it wouldn't be so much of a financial strain. Plus, even if he goes through another consulate your previous information will still be in the system and they will still examine things much more closely. Plus even living somewhere else...he's still Nigerian. KWIM?
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-10-20 07:41:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGender roles and West Africans
I can't officially comment on the "husband" part yet. But I will say this...when I went to visit him, he did most of the cooking and cleaning. It really does matter how they are raised. My FH (Nigerian--Bini)is my cousin's brother in law and I've noticed that my FH's brother does quite a bit too. He cooks (when it comes to making Nigerian food), cleans and gets the kids up and ready for school/daycare. It seems him and my cousin have come to quite the understanding seeing as though she is a late riser. :D
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-08 12:31:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanDoes he HAVE to go back to Nigeria?!
Thank you both! I was really trying to avoid the additional expense but guess I can't. :) I will keep y'all posted. :thumbs:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-08 01:52:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanDoes he HAVE to go back to Nigeria?!
I know I've been whining about this off and on over the last few months but I'm hoping that there's some way to avoid my fiancé having to go back to Nigeria JUST for a new passport because he lost his. It's pretty costly to fly from The Gambia to Lagos and going by land takes too long. So we are trying to find a way to do everything through the Nigerian embassy in The Gambia or the one in Dakar. Any thoughts? I was going to call the Nigerian embassy in New York on Monday to see what they can tell me but I wanted to see if anyone here had any information.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-06 05:07:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanEMAIL & USCIS WEBSITE - I-130 APPROVED!!!!
Congrats!!! :dance:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-08 23:08:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanApproved!!
Congrats! :dance:
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-14 09:18:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMy husbands greencard has been approved!!!
YAY Congrats!!! Many blessings on a successful life together. :)
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-09 22:01:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanVisa needed to enter Dakar for interview?
Thanks!!! I don't know why I was having such a time finding it. Must have been sleep typing. :D
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-28 13:10:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanVisa needed to enter Dakar for interview?
Hi All,

Will either my fiancé (entering Dakar from The Gambia) or I (entering Dakar from the US) need to obtain a Sengelese visa in order to go to the interview at the US embassy?
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-28 06:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBack From Ghana with my husband
Congrats!!!!
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-11-09 10:45:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanVisa not at pick up location
Congrats!!!! It's about time. :D Next stop: POE!!
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2010-08-27 05:50:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIs this something new in Lagos?
Definitely an inconvenience!! I figured it had something to do with the scams. UGGH but what happens when it's someone visiting there? Oh and the bank was CBN (Central Bank of Nigeria). I called Western Union and requested that a full refund (including the processing charge) be sent to my future brother in law of the original money he sent to FH because no where on their site does it state this. I can't imagine what would have happened if the other brother wasn't there :(. But at least we are aware of this now.
PurpleSkyFemaleGambia2011-01-06 13:03:00