ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDo you think I need a co-sponsor?

http://laos.usembassy.gov/contact.html

conslao@state.gov

Email them the questions you have reguarding supporting documentation for you being a self-employed US Citizen. The only way you are going to find out exactly what they want, for your specific case is going to be to ask them. All K-1 visas, at all stages of approval are case-by-case. There really isn't a standard, we are humans capable of creating millions of different, but similar situations.


Thank you so much, you've been very supportive...Ill email them...will let u know what they say too okay..
paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-19 22:28:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDo you think I need a co-sponsor?

Your advice is exactly correct but be aware...

The tax return I used was for 2007. For almost all of 2007 and the previous years I was self employed and managed to write off a lot of my revenue as expenses minimizing my tax liability. I took a regular w-2 job in November 2007. Had I taken ALL the deductions I could have for 2007 I would have "made" much less money than required for the affidavit of support. This concerned me so I did not claim all my deductions and paid a LOT more in tax for 2007. All worth it because it was true love.

Then I come to find out that Kiev relies almost entirely on "current income" and my proof of income in 2008 would have been sufficient even if I had lost money in 2007. Not all consulates are the same and some give more weight to last years tax return. so be careful but try not to overpay taxes just to make a paper "look good" if it is not needed.


Thank you for sharing this...I appreciate it. I know what I need to do now...thank you all for your help. I'll email the Laos consulate and see what they say first...and the ill go from there.
paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-19 22:11:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDo you think I need a co-sponsor?

Paij,

Okay so I am also new at this and my application is also being processed. But, what I do know is that every Consulate is not the same. I know for a fact, and you can check with my earlier posting, is that I have already confirmed that the Consulate in Laos will not accept co-sponsors for K1 visa applications. Now, if you were to be married and were applying for a spousal petition then the Consulate does allow a co-sponsor. I've beaten myself countless times trying to understand?? Having said that, you make more then the required minimum for sponsoring your fiance. I understand that being self employed you will be required to send your tax transcripts for the last 3 years, and your bank statements showing your yearly deposits into your accounts. What's most important is that the CO interviewing your fiance believes that you can take care of your fiance and that he will not be a public liability. Thus, knowing that you will really only have 1 1/2 year of tax transcripts for your business, make sure that you write a letter explaining your situation so the CO understands your situation. About your question of life insurance cash surrender value, you can find that out by calling your life insurance agent or company. If you have a term policy only you will not have cash surrender value. Generally you have cash surrender if you have a whole life or Universal life or VUL but check with your agent. Your car doesn't really count as asset. Questions of assets are generally important when you do not show enough income to qualify for sponsorship but I think that even though you haven't been in business for 3 years you will be okay and may not need assets to qualify. After all it's the income you are making today that is important not what you made yesterday. For example, you may have been making $100K last year at the old job but if you have a new job and are making $17K this year you will not qualify. If you are unsure....find employment. Anyhow, I think you should be fine and it's really up to the CO. Hope this helps a little.....also I don't think that having benefits is a requirement though I am not sure. But I am certain it's really income that's important.


Hey thanks for the infos. Okay, I just looked at the Visa Instructions for Fiance Visa Applications from the webiste: http://laos.usembass...iance_2011.html, and where it says Evidence of Financial Support, it list
-original Affidavit of Support signed by petitioner,
-most recent tax return (form 1040 and W2),
-pay slip,
-recent bank statements...

The thing I am frustrated about is that it doesn't specify or indicate a number how many they want???..so I still don't know exactly how many they want because some people say 3 years worth, and others says 1 year is ok for self-employment. Im thinking since I file 1040 and it says recent income tax and not income taxes, it's probably saying 1 only, and it's the same deal as it is with someone with W2's. But since I am still not 100% sure I'll email them and see what they have to say to me about that before I sent out my I-129F. The bank statements they wanted to see, also no number of pages indicated, I guess I'll go with the number 6 months worth because hnubno told me she sent 6. Until I know which one of my income (gross or net income??) for 2011 qualifies me to sponsor myself then I can say I don't need a co-sponsor, but like you're saying they don't allow co-sponsor for k1 visa applicant then I am screwed too even if I made enough to sponsor him myself. I was gonna use my mom as co sponsor if my income isn't enough or say they really want 3 years worth of income and I don't have all of them, my mom has all. Throughout the last 3-4-5 years, I can say I have a pretty good history of deposits into my accounts, but haha I usually end up spending them up almost emptied then I will have new deposits...hope that still works for them...we also may be screwed because the marriage route takes too long and to much needs to be done...we just really want to be together as soon as possible, gosh I wish governments would stop making it so hard for people who can proof their love is true and not make so hard for them be together with all these money stuff...it's crazy. Will I will let u know what they say to me too...:( tired now and back aching because stressing too much about this...
paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-18 01:30:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDo you think I need a co-sponsor?
JJ, thank you for the reply, appreciate it...I hope I can just sponsor him..

Edited by paivaj_n_kubyaj, 13 January 2012 - 04:12 PM.

paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-13 16:10:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDo you think I need a co-sponsor?
Hi I there, I am very new at this, so from reading some of the forums here seem like everyone here will be a great help for me in my journey too. Let me ask you guys if you think I need a co-sponsor because I am not sure. So help me out here if you can, I'll appreciate every one's reply.

A little bit background first...my fiance is in Laos, I had just visited him and returned. This was my second trip. Finally got the papers we needed to get it done there so I can include them with my I-129. So my situation is that I am self-employed, this year I make a little over $26,000.00. Okay I want to ask this question first, I just started the business 1 year and a half ago, I didn't work the year before that, so will that be a problem if I don't have income tax from that year? Counting only last year's income tax and this year's, I only have 2 years worth of income tax. My cousin whose's fiancee just got here 2 months ago from Laos says that they only look at the most recent income tax, is that true? But will I still have to submit 3 years worth of income tax or no I don't need to?

So I make a little over 26K, if after I deduct all these stuff that I used to run my business, assuming it will be like $21,000.00, will I still be safe to sponsor by myself or should I get a co-sponsor still?? That is still over the poverty guideline for 2 people? Given the circumstance that I have only had the business for a year and a half. People ask me if I work full-time or part-time, I say that I dedicate full-time but I am flexible because I schedule my hours around my client's availability. I don't get 8 hours a day because it depend on how many client I get a day. Does my job has to be a full-time with benefits? Because I don't have benefits. My fiance's uncle from MN told me if I don't have benefits then I am out of luck. Is that true? Or they don't care they just want proof that you make what you make? I don't claim anyone on my income tax, so I have no dependent. I live with my parents and both of my parents work. My mom says she will help me by being a co-sponsor if I don't qualify. She has had a stable job since 2001 or somethings like that and has benefits, but the problem is my mom files joint income tax with my dad....my dad don't want to be a co-sponsor, so how do we do this? They claim my 2 younger brothers and maybe 3 sisters that are not living in the house with us. I'm not sure exactly how much they make this year (they w2 are not here yet), I assume maybe over $60,000 together. So what do you think? Am I safe just to do it on my own or do I need my parent's help?

For the I-134 Affidavit of support form, where is ask how much you have in the bank, personal property, stocks, life insurance with how much cash surrender, real estate valued at...I have a question, I don't have much in the bank at the moment but maybe I can start saving now, i don't have any personal property other than I have a car, but I just bought it a few weeks ago, I didn't cash it, put a down payment and will pay monthly for the next 6 years...I don't have stocks or bonds, but I have 2 life insurance policy, one my parents bought for me, they are the policy holder, and the other one I bought for myself, so I am the policy holder, both combine a little over $200,000. I don't understand what I should write on the cash surrender. Does anyone know? And lastly I don't have a real estate.

So what I only have will that work for me to sponsor my fiance by myself? I would like to just sponsor him by myself but if I need a co sponsor then I will get one....Help.....??? :-! Sorry for the long forum...

Edited by paivaj_n_kubyaj, 13 January 2012 - 06:57 AM.

paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-13 06:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresForm I-129: Section C Question 2

No. The question askes about specific crimes. If the answer to that question is NO, then you do not need to attach anything.



Okay thank you sooo much! I can stop beating myself now...I will not worry anymore....thanks to all you guys who replied. Wishing you all the best as well..

Edited by paivaj_n_kubyaj, 19 January 2012 - 10:33 PM.

paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-19 22:32:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresForm I-129: Section C Question 2

If the crime was not one asked about you do not have to include it. That said, they may STILL disclose it to your fiancee so best of you tell her about it first. A shocked reaction at the interview does nothing to reinfirce the belief of a legitimate relationship.

They are known for saying things like "So what do you think about your fiancee being a criminal?" She would need to be able to respond concisely and plainly.


Will actually I am the fiancee and his is my fiance. He is in Laos. Im here in the USA...I'm going to sponsor him. I already told him about it. He doesn't mind. I just need to know if I should submit a police record even thought it was dismissed but mainly because it's not one of those mentioned on the form but it happened so I'm sure even thought it has been dismissed, USCIS will find it. I just really want to be on the safe side you know what i mean.

Edited by paivaj_n_kubyaj, 14 January 2012 - 09:02 PM.

paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-14 20:54:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresForm I-129: Section C Question 2
I have questions about section C question 2 on the I-129 form....any help would be appreciated.

I had a case against me back in 08 but it was dismissed in 09 by the judge. I got off the hook because I follow the directions of the judge and the public defender. What I did or if you will say the crime I committed has nothing to do with all those listed or mention on section c, question 2, so I check no.

But what still concerns me is Part D where it says:

" More over, I understand that this petition, including any criminal conviction information that I am require to provide with this petition, as well as any related criminal background information pertaining to me the U.S and Immigration Services may discover independently in adjudicating this petition will be disclosed to the beneficiary of this petition."

What I am understanding is that even thought my case was not related to any of crimes mention on question 2, plus it has been dismissed, I should still submit any police record with the form, you know like just be open about it, right? It's better to be safe than sorry right? What do you think?

There might be people out there that has never gotten a tickets or into trouble with the law, but most people at least have gotten into trouble with the law once.

I have several traffic tickets in my years of driving but those are paid off, the fee were like $100-$200. The last ones were 2 cell phone tickets...got one in 2009 and a second in late 2010. I paid off the last one in early of 2011. I applied for my citizenship 2010, and the USCIS officer requested the police record, I went and got it from the court in my city, it says convicted for 1st cell phone ticket but it was not a big deal. The case was a little bigger but with it being dismissed I was approved for citizenship.

Let me ask do you guys still summit a police record regardless just to be on the safe side?

Let me know what you think I should do or don't need to do? Thanks...

Edited by paivaj_n_kubyaj, 14 January 2012 - 04:52 PM.

paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-14 16:43:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAffidavit of Support

1 year tax return is all that is needed (where does this three year thing come from over and over, there is no such requirement)


That was one thing that scare me all the way until right now that i discover this website, people that has a relative married someone from my native country Laos were saying you need 3 years, I was hopeless because I had only 2010 and will file 2011 sometime soon. But someone in here says I need to file 3 years of income tax since I am self-employed, do u know if that is true? Or same apply to me, just 1 year income will do me good??

Edited by paivaj_n_kubyaj, 14 January 2012 - 09:51 PM.

paivaj_n_kubyajFemaleLaos2012-01-14 21:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPossible citizenship mistake on application...help?
OOPS! one more thing I forgot to mention. I actually work for my mom's company, so she is technically my boss. Will this affect anything?
Jana&MartinFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-18 18:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPossible citizenship mistake on application...help?

For the K1 interview in London, they don't even require a tax return. You can prove current income with pay stubs. A letter from your employer is always a good proof too. It's all about current income, not what you made in previous years.



Thank you!! :)
Jana&MartinFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-18 15:08:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPossible citizenship mistake on application...help?
Well I was looking at the affidavit of support poverty line, and it says you have to make an income of at least 18,000 with a 2 person household? I will be making that THIS year only, but the problem is I did not make that last year. Is there any way I can just bring in a bank statement and/or pay stubs for a certain amount of time from this year rather than bring in my tax returns from the previous years? or will they require that I bring in my W-2's and my tax returns even if I didn't make as much those years as I am now?
Jana&MartinFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-18 13:27:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPossible citizenship mistake on application...help?
Thank you!! I was very confused as to what was going on, but that was probably just me being nervous. I still need info/experiences with the age issue though, if anyone has any input on that
Jana&MartinFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-17 23:42:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPossible citizenship mistake on application...help?
Hello,

My fiance and I filed for our K-1 visa in December. We received our first NOA about 2 weeks later to let us know that they received everything, but I have a few questions because we are both now realizing we may have possibly made a mistake.

1. My fiance was born in Lithuania, but moved to the UK in 2003. On the application we put that his country of birth was Lithuania and his residence was the UK. However, I am curious if the fact that he has not applied for British citizenship will affect the petition/interview at all? He has lived in the UK continuously since 2003, but I read somewhere that he isn't really a citizen until he applies for the naturalization through an application? I could be wrong, that is why I am double checking here. Also another factor is that his passport is Lithuanian, and he got it in 2009. He did this because that was the first time he was coming to see me and his previous passport was close to expiring. So instead of applying for a UK passport which apparently takes a year he applied for a Lithuanian passport which took a month. Does this mean he will not go to the embassy in London, but have to go to Lithuania?? Or is there a Lithuanian branch in the UK embassy that would accept him if we do get approved for an interview? OR is any of this even relevant, does it matter if he isn't a British citizen but resides there and we filed for him to go to the London embassy?

Sorry for such a long and sort of jumbled question, I am not sure the best way to put it. I was confident we filed everything correctly but now I am nervous we made a mistake that will delay or possibly cause the rejection of our application :(

Also has anyone noticed that age affects decisions? I am 18 and my fiance is 20. We have been together since 2009, but as you can see I was underage at the time so he was coming to visit me as a "friend". Will that factor in to how they determine if we're eligible? Does him saying that we were friends to the immigration officers when we were actually in a relationship mean that they will see that when processing our application and refuse us for being untruthful?

Any help and information is appreciated, thanks.
Jana&MartinFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-17 23:06:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresCertified Translation of Docs
Can somebody please explain what a "certified translation" is? What makes it certified? Who does them? Where do we go?

In a related question, if his birth certificate is in Turkish, but there are English (and French) equivalents on the back, do we still need a certified translation?
merryeye27FemaleTurkey2009-09-16 15:09:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresanyone fly together back to US after K-1 visa granted
We flew back together and were sent to the visitors line in JFK.
SonshyneFemaleJamaica2008-08-20 09:18:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresIdeas on Proof of Relationship?
i'm sure they don't accept CD. just print your exchanged emails and others.

Good luck
sj5Female02008-04-05 11:54:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresRequirements for children
it is true.

Edited by SJ, 26 May 2008 - 11:37 PM.

sj5Female02008-05-26 23:35:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresRequirements for children
QUOTE (mhay stewart @ May 26 2008, 08:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi i was also annuled in my first marriage. it depends on the annulent paper of your fiance whats the court decision. just like on my case im the only custody. so no need an authorization for the father of my daughter. i was also been in DSWD just to make sure everything will be ok. and they told me that if you are joint custody u have to get a authorization for the father of the kid but if not so no need. so better ask your fiance who is the custody if she is the only custody or they are joint custody


wow Philippines law laughing.gif
sj5Female02008-05-26 23:18:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresRequirements for children
DSWD ISSUES AMENDED GUIDELINES ON TRAVEL CLEARANCE

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) Secretary Esperanza I. Cabral has issued amended guidelines which aim to simplify and shorten application and issuance of travel clearance for minors travelling abroad.

A travel clearance is a document issued by the DSWD to a minor who is below 18 years of age travelling abroad alone or with someone other than his parents. The travel clearance is issued as a measure to prevent child trafficking.

The guidelines set the validity period of a travel clearance for one (1) year from the date of issuance. The travel clearance shall be valid for multiple travels within the one year validity period, provided that the conditions under which the travel clearance was issued have not changed. If a change in condition occurs, like change of travelling companion, a new travel clearance must be obtained.

Secretary Cabral said that the amended guidelines should be a welcome development especially for frequent travellers.

The guidelines also identify the minors who are required or exempted from securing a travel clearance.

Based on the amended guidelines, a travel clearance is required for a minor travelling alone to a foreign country. A child accompanied by a person other than the parents also needs a travel clearance.

Exempted from obtaining a travel clearance are: 1. A minor travelling abroad whose parents are in foreign service or are living abroad provided, the child is holding a valid pass such as a dependent's visa, or permanent resident visa or card which can prove that the child is living with parents abroad; and 2. A minor travelling abroad with either parent or with his or her solo parent or legal guardian.

Secretary Cabral added that the Parental Travel Permit, which was a former requirement for a minor travelling with only one parent, is no longer needed.

A solo parent should show a photocopy of a solo parent identification card issued by the Municipal Social Welfare Office. For Muslim solo parents, a Tallaq or a Fasakh certification from the Shariah court or any Muslim barangay or religious leader should also be presented. Other acceptable proofs of solo parenthood are certificate of no marriage from the local civil registrar, death certificate or certificate of legal guardianship issued by the court.

Requirements for application of travel clearance are: duly accomplished application form; photocopy of the birth certificate or passport of the minor; a written consent of both parents or the solo parent or the legal guardian permitting the minor to travel alone to a foreign country; photocopy of the marriage certificate of the minor's parents, or certificates establishing solo parenthood; two colored passport size photos of the minors taken within the last six (6) months.

For subsequent travels, requirements are duly-accomplished application form, written consent of both parents or the solo parent or the legal guardian permitting the minor to travel alone to a foreign country, a photocopy of the previous travel clearance; and two colored passport size photos. Parents, legal guardian or a duly authorized representative may file the application at any DSWD field office. Application forms maybe obtained from any DSWD field office or maybe downloaded from the DSWD website (www.dswd.gov.ph). The DSWD collects a P300.00 processing fee.

The DSWD travel clearance may be obtained within three (3) working days from the DSWD Travel Clearance Unit where the application was submitted, provided all requirements have been fulfilled. (10 April 2006)


http://www.dswd.gov.ph/articledetails.php?id=304

Edited by SJ, 26 May 2008 - 10:30 PM.

sj5Female02008-05-26 22:30:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresCanceling Visa process
QUOTE (melusine @ Feb 28 2008, 08:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sorry but what is NSO ???


National Statistics Office (NSO)

Edited by SJ, 28 February 2008 - 09:47 PM.

sj5Female02008-02-28 21:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresNeed advise on Documents needed for K-2 visa
QUOTE (rick&gaye @ Jan 12 2008, 05:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We just started the K1 application. We are still compiling the paperworks and doing a lot of research and we found these on an immigration lawyers' site:

Documents needed for K-2 visa:

* Valid passport (not needed if child is under 16);
* Nonimmigrant Visa Application (Form DS-156), in duplicate with two recent color photographs;
* Official birth certificate;
* Permission to travel from other parent;
* Complete medical examination report.

I have highlighted "permission to travel from other parent". I have 2 kids, ages 8 and 10, who will be coming with me, do we really need to get permission from their biological father who never supported them financially? I was never legally married to the biological father and the kids carries my father's family name (my maiden name) although the biological father did sign paternal acknowledgment in their birth certificate. We have been separated for 8 years now and for those 8 years he only showed his face to his kids less than 10 times and never gave financial support. I did file a financial support case against him years back but he never responded and i found the process not only physically exhausting but also emotionally draining so i did not pursue it any further. Basically, i have been a single mom in the true sense of the word, i raised and provided for my 2 kids on my own and only had help when my fiance came into my life.

For 6years i was on my own, and this biological father never even extended 1 centavo when my previous business went bankrupt and i was struggling to pay a huge bank loan (that was the time i filed for financial support). It is just so infuriating to think that the kids would need permission from him to travel. I strongly feel that he has given any right over them years ago.

Do I really have to sought him out and get a permission for the kids to travel? I do not know where he lives now or where he works although i know where his parents live. Pls advise me on this.


you don't need permission from him nor DSWD

They needed to have separate passport, form DS-156 and pictures.

Edited by SJ, 13 January 2008 - 04:10 AM.

sj5Female02008-01-13 04:07:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresShould I Report a Scam Artist to INS?
QUOTE (STEPHnRIA @ Nov 6 2008, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Haole @ Nov 7 2008, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (tallcoolone @ Nov 6 2008, 12:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
BoyScout74:

Let me make a suggestion:

Don't meet people on-line, the Internet has become a breeding ground for scammers.

Book a trip to Philippines, it will change your outlook on life.

So many beautiful woman there , and the people in general are very friendly and happy.

For me it was refreshing to look at a crowd and see the woman all with coke bottle figures.

Good Luck

I have to agree a little. LOTS of scammers online . However LOTS are having successful relationships and met online. Dain't over tho until they get GC tho. LOTS of smart scammers. Probably better to meet thru relatives
First one I met online turned out to be a scammer. Second thru a relative and I'm happily married so far..

Also I enjoy walking down the street in cities in the Philippines. 99.9% tight buttes in faded jeans. Easy to break your neck.



Great! Before its coke bottle figures, now its 99.9% tight butts in faded jeans! Why do guys talk like that about women from Philippines? Its so embarassing!!!


Come on fellows why you sensitive with fortunate man. rofl.gif
sj5Female02008-11-07 00:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresShould I Report a Scam Artist to INS?
You should make police report then send it to INS.

"Lies is Crime"

Do not marry whole family. rofl.gif

Edited by SJ, 07 November 2008 - 12:23 AM.

sj5Female02008-11-07 00:19:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresUS Citizen Married then Divorced in China now in a bind
It's your past. I think, your fiancee won't make big deal about your previous marriage.

You're not cheating on your fiancee but you didn't tell her about your ex-wife.

Don't lies on your forms.
sj5Female02008-11-11 16:37:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
It's ridiculous when you close your mind without asking me what I mean. I'm his billing clerk.
sj5Female02008-11-13 19:41:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (guatetaliana @ Nov 13 2008, 04:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm glad you got communication rolling on this issue. By the way, maybe it would also be helpful to find out processing times, because I believe she would be able to go back and visit WAYYY sooner than 2 yrs. As far as I know, AP documents are processing in under 90 days, and the whole AOS takes less than a year right now. Maybe someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

I can understand your fiancee's dilemma. I lived in Mexico with my husband and only came back to the US for financial reasons once I was pregnant, since we couldn't pay for prenatal care on our Mexican salaries. It was a tough choice, and now that I'm here in the US, I'm constantly conflicted. I'm back with my family, and I'm so glad for their support throughout the pregnancy and when the baby's born in a couple weeks. Once I'm a mother, I know it's going to stay difficult. Here, I have my mom to help me learn how to care for the baby. My parents love the baby already and I'll hate to take him away from them. Also, my family is the one with all the huge traditions. I am Guatemalan and Italian-American, and we have huge family parties and multi-day celebrations for Christmas. Meanwhile, my husband only has a couple family members in Mexico and they don't do much for Christmas. This year, I don't get a choice, since the baby will only be a couple days old by Christmas so I will definitely stay in the US. But in the future, it's going to be tough. I love my husband more than anything, and I can't wait to be back in the same country with him. But leaving my family behind will always be a tough choice. Hopefully in our case, someday I won't have to choose anymore.


It is tough choice to leaved people behind you're attached to but husband is above in everything. devil.gif It'll be little bit harder for you but you'll get through and get use to it. Your husband can help you to adjust. yes.gif


Edited by SJ, 13 November 2008 - 05:36 PM.

sj5Female02008-11-13 17:32:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
Check Sundrop profile and Mich and others.

With respect, it does sound rather like footstomping "I got you all this stuff and now I want what I want and if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna sulk coz you obviously don't love me!"

My USC SO and I have just recently confirmed that I'll be moving to the US with my daughter. It made more sense for him to come here, but he spent 5.5 months here on a visitor's VWP and was really homesick. Although he misses being with us, he's happy to be home and although it's hard for me to accept, I understand it. You've obviously never moved away from all that you know for any period of time, you need to accept that it's actually a very scary thing.

You don't, from your description, seem to have spent a lot of time with her. That, is scary for anyone, the both of you included BUT you are only entering into a "new" relationship. She, however, is contending with a new culture, new society, new home, new husband...

She's just had a baby! Don't know if she's the first in her family to make her folks grandparents but that would only go to making it even harder for her. I've had a baby and was 3000 miles away from my family when she was born, and although married at the time, my ex worked extremely long days and we often went several days without really talking because of exhaustion and timings. You have to be empathetic to her in this situation. She's only had her family for practical support (you're not helping with feeds, minding baby so she can rest, etc.) Leaving that support with a baby, to a new country, new husband, new culture, new home.... wow. She's a very brave woman.

All her experience to date has been getting to and from her country to the US is difficult. You're planning on starting a life together a very long way from home for her. She's not going to adjust overnight, and as I've laid out above she's probably terrified. There's nothing you can do to make it less scary except be sympathetic. Even if she got on a plane tomorrow, you still need to understand what this is going to be like for her.

I speak english fluently. I've already lived in 3 different countries. I've travelled often to the States. My parents spent 10 years there, my uncle was a naturalised American, my best friend is American. I am still nervous about emmigrating.

Cut her some slack, stop being petulant, support your soon-to-be WIFE like a decent, respectful husband would, get your ####### over there for christmas and help her back with her life packed up in a couple of suitcases and a baby under her arm...

Good luck!
sj5Female02008-11-13 17:21:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
I don't have family to give sh!t with.. They're in Europe.. so guess what.. shove your words to your azz instead.[/quote]
alot of people make valid and great points here, but you still don't make any sense, your a ranting fool
[/quote]

I'm not ranting. Ask other people on this site about my opinnion if I make no sense. It is just two people here are whining about my comments.


I'm gonna link you to somebody who have valid points.
sj5Female02008-11-13 17:18:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
Additional: I feel want to share my spouse with you. He is USC and not oldman but a grown up man.

I'm not bothered with Xmass or New Year. Anytime its special. My USC spouse didn't pressured me or tell me what to do when to come in USA instead he told me to enjoy my last moment in Philippines. When I decided to fly here in USA, I told him I'm ready to go. He does everything to make me happy and of course I try my best to make him happy too. I didn't grew with my family and relatives but I grew up with my childhood and friends, I misses them than my own blood. I call my friends every two weeks when I arrived here in US but when I check our phone bills I can't believed it. He didn't tell me to quit calling. I decided to slow down. I flew two weeks before his planned (He was with me in USE Manila and brought my 2 bags/luggage with him back here in USA) but he doesn't have choices, I'm coming. devil.gif


Some Filipina want to go back home which is one of them is my friend but her husband doesn't want her to go and she can't buy ticket but he doesn't give her any access to his money.


Don't you think I'm fortunate woman? IF YOU WANT TO CONFIRM IF I'M LYING OR NOT YOU'RE WELCOME TO CALL MY HUSBAND. HE DOESN'T COME ON THIS WEBSITE. HE IS BUSY MAKING MONEY SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO.

You misunderstood that I'm trying to help Craig how to deal with his frustrations.
sj5Female02008-11-13 17:16:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.


THAT DOESN'T make any sense ? if you want to go home,, then go. don't let the door hit you in ur azz. and if you think tradition is important, and you live in the USA . then you better get use to a x-mas tree in the house. if they made plans to be together during the holidays, and she changes the plans without first discussing it with him. then he has all the right in the world to be upset. long distance relationships come with a big price. relocating is just the start.





[/quote]
[/quote]

YOu know why some marriage failed? Because of selfishness.(All about me me me me not you) Did you read what others post here?

I don't have family to give sh!t with.. They're in Europe.. so guess what.. shove your words to your azz instead.
sj5Female02008-11-13 16:19:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (ronjie @ Nov 13 2008, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (SJ @ Nov 13 2008, 01:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (GwizCraig @ Nov 13 2008, 12:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why should I not have trouble with this? Is that what you would choose? So many tell me that they would want to be at their spouses side, I know that I want to spend the holidays with them. You talk big for someone who is not in my shoes.

QUOTE (SJ @ Nov 12 2008, 11:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Then you shouldn't have trouble to let your fiancee to stay with her family this Xmass 2009. She'll stay with you forever.(Hopefully she will)




I've never been with someone else shoes but I understand you and your fiancee. You'll have her not just Xmass but at all times not when you're working.

I don't know why so many people want to be with their spouse but once they're in USA? they want to go home. rofl.gif





THAT DOESN'T make any sense ? if you want to go home,, then go. don't let the door hit you in ur azz. and if you think tradition is important, and you live in the USA . then you better get use to a x-mas tree in the house. if they made plans to be together during the holidays, and she changes the plans without first discussing it with him. then he has all the right in the world to be upset. long distance relationships come with a big price. relocating is just the start.

okay.. I can switch my advice to this..







Craig, it seems I get introuble to help you how to understand your fiancee. If your fiancee doesn't come over on this Xmass coming tell her you don't want her anymore. Tell her how important to you. Make her choose.. you or her parents. Indeed.

Good advice? devil.gif

Edited by SJ, 13 November 2008 - 04:14 PM.

sj5Female02008-11-13 16:12:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (GwizCraig @ Nov 13 2008, 12:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why should I not have trouble with this? Is that what you would choose? So many tell me that they would want to be at their spouses side, I know that I want to spend the holidays with them. You talk big for someone who is not in my shoes.

QUOTE (SJ @ Nov 12 2008, 11:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Then you shouldn't have trouble to let your fiancee to stay with her family this Xmass 2009. She'll stay with you forever.(Hopefully she will)




I've never been with someone else shoes but I understand you and your fiancee. You'll have her not just Xmass but at all times not when you're working.

I don't know why so many people want to be with their spouse but once they're in USA? they want to go home. rofl.gif






Edited by SJ, 13 November 2008 - 01:40 AM.

sj5Female02008-11-13 01:37:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
I mean.. everyone want to holiday with their family.

But I don't like to put Xmass trees inside our house but my husband likes it so I'm going to have it this year because its making him happy.

Edited by SJ, 13 November 2008 - 01:28 AM.

sj5Female02008-11-13 01:27:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
[quote name='GwizCraig' date='Nov 12 2008, 11:58 PM' post='2389744']
We did use protection, I could explain but I don't feel that is important and it is a bit personal. I don't feel that I am "trashing" her, but I am quite upset with her recent decision. Xmas is important, who does not want to spend the holidays with their family? It just amplifies my desire to be with my family, I want to be with them now. But I feel there are many reasons why I feel the way I do, her changing of the plan was the straw that broke the camels back.

Xmas is important, who does not want to spend the holidays with their family? Everyone.

Then you shouldn't have trouble to let your fiancee to stay with her family this Xmass 2009. She'll stay with you forever.(Hopefully she will)

Edited by SJ, 13 November 2008 - 01:20 AM.

sj5Female02008-11-13 01:18:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
GwizCraig, you're saying she was your friend and not comfortable with her. Why you didn't use condom? Personally, I think you do like her and there's something you like about her. Don't trash your future wife on online because this is not good. Don't deceive her.


I understand you want to be with your child but don't use Xmass as a reason because isn't really very important.


Edited by SJ, 13 November 2008 - 12:52 AM.

sj5Female02008-11-13 00:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (GwizCraig @ Nov 12 2008, 07:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because we met as friends, I was not expecting things to go as they did. She was not my fiancee at the time when this happened you judgemental crow!

QUOTE (diadromous mermaid @ Nov 12 2008, 05:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
...And you wonder why she might be having misgivings? You're not committed to her, even though you proclaim you are. Whether she is to you, I don't know. After all, in your first post, you referred to her as a friend, who became impregnated. Not a fiancée, a friend.




rofl.gif Impregnated my friend!

Friend with benefits headbonk.gif
sj5Female02008-11-12 23:30:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (SunDrop @ Nov 12 2008, 05:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
With respect, it does sound rather like footstomping "I got you all this stuff and now I want what I want and if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna sulk coz you obviously don't love me!"

My USC SO and I have just recently confirmed that I'll be moving to the US with my daughter. It made more sense for him to come here, but he spent 5.5 months here on a visitor's VWP and was really homesick. Although he misses being with us, he's happy to be home and although it's hard for me to accept, I understand it. You've obviously never moved away from all that you know for any period of time, you need to accept that it's actually a very scary thing.

You don't, from your description, seem to have spent a lot of time with her. That, is scary for anyone, the both of you included BUT you are only entering into a "new" relationship. She, however, is contending with a new culture, new society, new home, new husband...

She's just had a baby! Don't know if she's the first in her family to make her folks grandparents but that would only go to making it even harder for her. I've had a baby and was 3000 miles away from my family when she was born, and although married at the time, my ex worked extremely long days and we often went several days without really talking because of exhaustion and timings. You have to be empathetic to her in this situation. She's only had her family for practical support (you're not helping with feeds, minding baby so she can rest, etc.) Leaving that support with a baby, to a new country, new husband, new culture, new home.... wow. She's a very brave woman.

All her experience to date has been getting to and from her country to the US is difficult. You're planning on starting a life together a very long way from home for her. She's not going to adjust overnight, and as I've laid out above she's probably terrified. There's nothing you can do to make it less scary except be sympathetic. Even if she got on a plane tomorrow, you still need to understand what this is going to be like for her.

I speak english fluently. I've already lived in 3 different countries. I've travelled often to the States. My parents spent 10 years there, my uncle was a naturalised American, my best friend is American. I am still nervous about emmigrating.

Cut her some slack, stop being petulant, support your soon-to-be WIFE like a decent, respectful husband would, get your ####### over there for christmas and help her back with her life packed up in a couple of suitcases and a baby under her arm...

Good luck!


Excellent points and valid. whistling.gif












Edited by SJ, 12 November 2008 - 06:29 PM.

sj5Female02008-11-12 18:28:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (dale_trisha @ Nov 12 2008, 04:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can understand the frustration in having a family split apart. I have gone through that before in the 80's and am now apart from Trisha. This Christmas I am planning on spending it with her and her family as we await her visa approval which is still sometime off.

One thing you want to look at is the culture of a filipina. Understand that you married her and her family and her family is blood and much tighter than most families in the US. These are probably values that you respect that she has. She will not be open about issues that cause conflict since again it is culture and for her to show disappointment to you is not something that is typical. you need to learn how to read indirect communication which she probably is doing and your doing the American direct communication.

My suggestion is to spend sometime getting to know what you value from her and your relationship and then understand how that works in her life - its all connected. Also dig into the culture. Know it, breath it. It is who she is.


Definitely good.gif cultural differences and family values.
sj5Female02008-11-12 17:44:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresYeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.
QUOTE (lsma @ Nov 12 2008, 04:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can you go over there for a Christmas visit and help her finish packing and bring her home in the new year?



December flights cost arm and leg.
sj5Female02008-11-12 17:40:00