Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Canada	Another good reason not to get a lawyer	A friend of mine was going through the K1 process about 2 years before me with her Irish fiancee. Her process took about 10 months because of waiting for the lawyer to get back to her. She told me the advice that she heard from her lawyer and I remember it scaring the ####### out of me at the time. She told me all about how the interviewers will sit you down and ask you every dirty detail about your relationship to test if you're real... and also that the lawyer was asking the same kinda questions, so I should be prepared. And to take a huge book of evidence proving you're a couple. Of course at the interview, they only asked me about where my fiance worked and about how many times we met. Edited by Gemmie, 02 October 2009 - 10:46 AM.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-10-02 10:45:00
Canada	how DO people get by doing the A.O.S	QUOTE (Krikit @ Oct 19 2009, 04:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh! We're back to topic. That was confusing. Oh, sorry, I skipped the last couple of pages. Back to talking netspeak!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-10-19 11:35:00
Canada	how DO people get by doing the A.O.S	Not to sound really mean, but I've seen a lot in this thread about how it sucks to do the marry-and-AOS route because you end up sitting on your ####### for months on end, not able to do anything or go anywhere. I haven't seen anyone mention yet that the people coming over on a K visa also have to go through this. They still have to file AOS and go through that. I came over on a K visa and after 4 months here, I'm still not able to work or travel. I had to miss my grandfather's funeral, my nephew's birth, my graduation, my best friend's leaving party. We've also struggled financially and I'm not able to pull in extra money. And I kinda feel like a loser that just sits at home every day. Yes, I chose to come to the US knowing some of those things were coming up... but it's not like it's easier because I went through another process beforehand. I would've been in the same position had I come through a K visa or just filed AOS. Also, I personally found the AOS filing a hell of a lot easier than the K filing. The AOS is running around for a while, informing people of what you needed, and then tackling the paperwork. The K process was an absolute terror. Not only do you have to file more initially (with proof of having met and such) but you also go months without hearing anything and when you finally do, you get the privilege of running around for more documents, and waiting some more. It was like 2 processes. Not to mention the fact that it costs an arm and a leg (what with the medical, criminal check, travel). And you're apart for that process too, which hurts. I'm not at ALL saying that marrying and filing AOS is the "easy" route. God it's not easy. And I'm not saying that the AOS route is illegal, because it's not. I genuinely feel that it's possible for people to decide on a whim that they want to get married and stay. Hell, I almost did that myself a few times but had my degree to finish. But I disagree with the notion I've seen a few times here that the AOS route is harder, too.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-10-19 11:24:00
Canada	Weird Things Americans Have Said To/Asked Me	I know this is the Canada forum but yesterday someone asked me if we have seafood in the UK.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-09-27 18:26:00
Canada	Which Forums Do You Like to Check Out?	Guilty pleasures, J&B. I also liked this part: People pass interviews because you tell the truth, not because your god made it happen!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-01-21 17:59:00
Canada	Which Forums Do You Like to Check Out?	I read the Canada forum... I know, I'm an outsider here. I find it similar to the UK forum, what can I say... The OT forum sometimes, when it's not full of inside jokes. I also read the Effects forum (though there are too many "abused, what can I do?"), the K1 forum on occasion (with its many "can I visit him?") and the AOS forum ("what do I put on this form?")	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-01-21 17:46:00
Canada	Leaving the US today, :(	I still get nauseous when we go near the airport. That feeling of saying goodbye is the worst. We often spent 4-6 weeks together at a time, the longest we lived together was 2 months. He would have such a job trying to stay positive with me moping around.. and airport staff started recognizing us. Strangely, I hated counting down in days. Hearing "90 days" seemed toooooo far. I found it easier to count in weeks as I had a set routine going (classes in day, Tuesday nights with my girls, Saturday nights out, etc) and time seemed quicker when thinking of it as "9 weeks".	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-02-18 18:40:00
Canada	Canadians feeling guilty about taking jobs away from Americans?	I don't know if anyone already posted this, but it reminds me of: Interesting topic. Back in the UK, there is the same thought process. That immigrants are "taking all of the jobs". To be 100% honest, when I didn't know anything about immigration, even I felt a little resentful when I couldn't find a job myself and saw so many foreigners working every kind of job. But now I know that it isn't the case, and whenever I see a Facebook group called "WE ARE BRITISH AND DESERVE THE JOBS THAT IMMIGRANTS ARE GETTING", or hear comments about the borders being open for work for people all over the E.U, I do try and tell people what the reality is. I don't feel guilty at all. I went through almost 18 months to make myself legally able to live and work in America with my husband, and it was hard. We went through a long time of him being unemployed, and him not making enough money, and I had no legal rights to work even though I was allowed to live here. It feels great to finally have permission to work and start a life together, and I feel I deserve this job that I'm going for. During the luncheon with the company, I was the only immigrant there, and I didn't feel intimidated or that I deserved it less than the Americans in the room. I would be upset to find that Americans feel that way about me after my husband and I worked so hard to get this far. I'll be paying taxes just like everyone else.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-02-16 11:19:00
Canada	OMG... And she thought I was lying!!! **You're SO gonna laugh!**	I have to add my 2 cents. Even I get this kinda thing and I'm British! "Why do you need to get a visa, you're British.." HA!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-05-02 12:45:00
Canada	Marrying an American AND Starting Your Career in the USA	I would also like to add that every job application form I've filled in always asks "will you at any time need sponsorship for employment?" This kind of pre-screening, in my view, is there to get rid of the people that will make more work for the employer, and they aren't interested in that.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-06-09 12:12:00
Canada	Marrying an American AND Starting Your Career in the USA	I don't know too much about work visas, but I do know that a Fiance visa (K1) is simply for entering and marrying whilst you apply for your green card (which allows you to work). Personally, if my goal was to marry my American boyfriend and also be able to work, I would go the K1 route. If my goal was to get my career going and then worry about getting married in the future, I would pursue the work visa. If I were to go through the fiancee visa route, how would I go about obtaining a work permit? How long would it take before I can apply for one? How long is it good for? Once you've entered the US, you have 90 days to get married. Once you're married, you can apply for AOS AND also your work permit. The work permit (aka EAD) takes about 8 weeks roughly, but most people get their green cards shortly after that anyway.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-06-08 16:41:00
Canada	I'm highly annoyed	I used to get so annoyed when I heard people say things like this, how they were going to go on a Tourist visa and just stay. I've had so many people ask me why I didn't just do that, or joke that they're going to find an American boyfriend so they can move over too. I have one friend who is desperate to work and live here, and tells people that she's going to do that, and when I asked her about immigration, she knew nothing. Even seemed annoyed that I 'went there'. Someone else I know wants to work in LA so applied for a job a couple of weeks ago, the job starting in September. Sometimes it's just ignorance of how much work it is. Nowadays I don't get so annoyed as I just think how WRONG it would've felt if I did things illegally. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. The thing that annoys me more is when family/friends back home complain about immigrants just walking into the country and taking all of the jobs, and being given free houses and money. They know that I've looked into my husband moving there and it was a lot harder than that. They wanted us to have quite a large income, our own place, no entitlement to any welfare, etc. Whenever I try to tell them what the real deal is, they just say "really? well I hear all the time about people taking our jobs and houses, I guess it depends what country you're from"...	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-08-29 07:40:00
Canada	Will I Ever Get A Break?	I had the same problem. I had to wait to go to the DMV because of waiting for the Green Card to come through. Finally got my GC, studied for the test, but the office was closed. The next time I heard there was a change in the permit test and they had a strong focus on alcohol-related questions, so I had to cancel and re-study the manual to make sure I was OK. The next time I waited in line for the 40 minutes and then was told that they couldn't take my SSN because of a recent name change - and that they wouldn't accept my GC as evidence of residence. The time after that, I finally got to take the test and the woman told me that the GC was fine, and that some offices have a reputation for making it hard for immigrants. Heck, I even saw the same person at that office yelling at a foreign woman, asking if she even spoke English. Try not to get too disheartened. You WILL get there.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-07-12 13:02:00
Canada	The Annoying Co-Worker Thread	Seems that way, Rob. At my husband's workplace, he has to wear smart pants, and a collared shirt, but the women are able to wear pretty much anything to a certain extent. No jeans or anything. Having said that, lots of jobs require women to wear skirts and heels, because it looks more professional. And let me tell you, it's not always comfortable! I envied the men being able to wear pants and flats.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-08-31 16:45:00
Canada	Employment Help	Me too, can you give more details please?	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-13 11:29:00
Canada	Employment Help	I know, I totally regret letting her in on that. I think I was just nervous, so when she asked me if I was going to continue this internship when it started back up again, I said I would probably do so in my spare time as it's great experience and she's also a friend of mine. Doh! We live and learn. I think at the back of my head, I was thinking if I make it clear that it's more of a friendship rather than a professional commitment, it's more flexible should I get this full-time position. I do have a LinkedIn account but honestly I don't understand it at all, and have no one on my list. Is it a professional networking site? But I did send her an email afterwards to say thank you for the meeting.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-09 16:41:00
Canada	Employment Help	I know I made it sound like she was a total b1tch but she really was very friendly and perky. I was just highlighting what I feel were the downsides to the interview - the rest went quite well.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-09 16:07:00
Canada	Employment Help	I had my interview yesterday, and I was telling the UK folks, it was quite intense for me because I expected a quick chat with the supervisors at the hospital. I ended up talking with the first supervisor and then she stuck me in a room on my own and I had 4 other people come in, one by one, to ask me questions. I was there for 2 hours in total and by the end of it, I was completely drained. I think I did OK as time went on, as my nerves went away, but the important part at the beginning, I feel I stumbled in a few places. She did ask me to give her some references but said I couldn't use the supervisor for my internship as she is also my friend... and she doesn't want academic references like teachers, she wants professional ones. I had no idea what to tell her. All of my previous jobs in the UK either closed down, the supervisors left, or it was from like 5 years ago where they wouldn't even remember me. She kinda scanned through my resume and noted that I didn't have much to offer there, so I told her I would find a summer job from a couple of years ago when I worked in a kitchen serving food. Not really the best, but.... honestly, studying in the UK is MUCH different than the US. We're covered by the government with living expenses so we don't have to find jobs other than in the summer when our grants are on hold. None of my friends had jobs in school. It seems in the US that you HAVE to work a lot to support yourself during school. I think she didn't like that I have no professional references. I also felt she indirectly put my experience down a little, for instance when telling her about a project I worked on, she kept asking "but how did you test that?" and after stuttering my way through an explanation, she said "oh, so you didn't actually use MRI or anything clinical.." And then later on when telling her how difficult it was for me to recruit gay people for my project, she told me "if you thought THAT was hard, you're going to be in for a shock with all of the data involved in this project". She also mentioned that my role would involve supervising college students, and said that because I'm so young, they might find it hard to take direction from me. Overall she was very friendly and approachable, but I kinda felt like 2ft tall a couple of times. I'm quite worried about it because after a 45 minute phone call, a 2 hour interview, and then having to track down some old references and scan a copy of my work for her, it would be awful if it didn't work out. The sad thing is that everyone made it quite clear that it's the bottom of the ladder and I would be doing the jobs that no one else wants to do. I'm willing to do that, please give me a break here. Good luck to everyone searching right now. Edited by Gemmie, 09 September 2010 - 01:00 PM.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-09 12:56:00
Canada	Employment Help	I hope people don't mind me joining this thread, there's been some REALLY helpful advice in here. I seem to be in the category of really bad luck. I've been looking since January, and these are my experiences: - I was invited to a luncheon to meet the staff of Meditech. I knew someone in the company who is from England and she was positive I would get a job there as they apparently hired 20+ people every luncheon. Well, needless to say, only one person from my group of 13 was hired. I tried again but got another automated email rejection. She has no idea why this happened. - I carried on with sites like Monster and Idealist, etc and also applied through company websites. Then in April I got a voice-mail from Harvard Medical School asking me for interview. I was on the phone constantly trying to get in touch with them, but kept getting voice-mail, so I left a few messages. Finally, I called the front desk and asked to speak with someone relevant, and I was passed around until someone told me the position was filled. - I got one interview in May, which didn't go so well, partly due to my anxiety and partly due to the staff interviewing me. They told me two months later that the position had been filled. - I continued to email people directly, one day sending off 33 emails. I got 11 responses saying they had no positions, and the rest didn't reply. I got an interview after that with a psychiatrist at supposedly the top psychiatric hospital in the country. It was amazing, we connected perfectly, and I didn't even need any of my documents or notes. He told me he would love to work with me if he got the research grant/funding. I got in touch every week and was finally told a couple of months later that he didn't hear back about funding, so was moving on with another project and wished me luck. - I had started to feel really depressed with the situation and started applying to all kinds of jobs in retail (Macy's, Ikea, Petco, etc) but was rejected by all of them. I applied to work in an Irish pub, hoping my English-ness would be an advantage , and had a couple of phone calls with them, and an in-person meeting. But once she found that I wanted more than a temporary 3-day-a-week position, she lost interest and never called back. I tried clerk positions and never heard back from them. Craigslist was full of scams that wanted money, credit checks, equipment bought, etc. - Last month I received an email from Brown Medical School asking if I was still interested in a job with them. I hurried back and said of course, asked if they wanted to meet, etc. I had a phone interview, which went really well, and after waiting a couple of weeks, asked for an update. They've just invited me for an in-person interview next week. I am absolutely dying to get this. It's my last hope, as me and my husband are considering moving back to the UK if it doesn't work out. I just can't seem to get a break over here. I really feel for all those in the same position. My biggest tip would be to email people in your field directly, as that has gotten me more responses than general sites have. People seem a lot nicer about responding to an email request instantly, rather than going through a month-long process not knowing anything. Sometimes it helps to apply through their website and also send them a personal email to let them know your interest.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-03 15:33:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	Nab, I totally understand what you're saying about men feeling they need to fix problems whereas women just enjoy expressing themselves for the sake of it. But this is an issue that goes back to childhood and how we were raised. My grandparents were HUGE family-people, they called us every single day, so when I was out with friends or spending every night on the phone to others, I was reprimanded for that. This carried on, and when I was 18, I was told after a two-week period of not speaking to them that I was forgiven, but I was being cut out of the will because my brother cared more for the family than I did, and that hurt me deeply. I was criticized for moving away to college, and God forbid I should be out with friends when one of them tried calling. My grandmother wrote a letter to my husband, saying that she knew I would end up moving to the States because he would manipulate me, and she didn't like that, as the family needed me close. My brother agreed, I was told that there are only a few of us left in the family, and I'm making it worse by moving away, whilst he's making it better by having a child and adding to the family. As time went on, and my grandparents passed away, my brother became the one who looked down on me for what he calls 'abandoning the family'. When I went for job interviews in my field, or even plain desk jobs, they were ignored, and instead I was told I was aiming too high and should be working in retail like the rest of them (no one in my family has a degree). You'd think that they would be proud of me, I even told them I was thinking of doing a PhD next year and becoming a psychologist, this is something that NO ONE in my family has ever come close to achieving. But it wasn't pride, it was annoyance. Right now I'm reading a book about a boy that has been living in one room ever since he was born, and when he escapes, he can't handle the real world - I almost feel that my brother is in the same situation. He doesn't have any friends or hobbies outside of his apartment. He looks at me like an alien sometimes when I visit him, looks me up and down, comments on the way I look, frowns at my wedding ring. I'm the only one in the family that has a slim figure, and I'm constantly asked why I'm so skinny, and if I have an eating disorder. Why did I put my grandfather's inheritance in a joint account with my husband when it's nothing to do with him. Why am I best friends with X because she's childish. Why do I always look for the good in people rather than seeing them for what they are. When I say enough is enough, I'm just told that he does it all because he cares. So as much as I want to believe that it's all done out of worry for me, I know it's also a deep-rooted issue of jealousy and resentment because I was able to do things that he wasn't because he was chained to the family. I once read that when you want to know how someone handles issues in life, you should look to their family relationships. Well my brother has a problem with every single person in his life, and it all revolves around not showing enough care. I try to stay in touch as much as I can. I call him every week, I send him and his girlfriend gifts every Christmas and birthday, I ask how my nephew is doing, see him on webcam and send him gifts, I don't know how else to show I care. I refuse to be sorry for having my own life. (Sorry for the life story )Thanks for the responses guys, it's such a shame to hear when family are so unsupportive. I really believe that if my children want to travel the world, become actors, move to Australia, be street-entertainers, no matter what I would support them. I would show healthy concern, not be rude and obnoxious about it. Maybe it's different when it actually happens, who knows.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-28 11:06:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	Sorry for more moaning, I'm having a seriously bad day. I know it was a topic here or somewhere else in this forum about family members back home not liking the fact that we've moved to the US. Well (as some of you know) my brother has been a constant source of frustration since the move. The other day I told him about a family crisis that was going on here in the US and he reacted with anger, saying that I never should have come here and he knew/said it was a mistake from the beginning. I emailed him the next day saying that it was totally unfair to say that to me, and that life comes with downsides that we don't expect. I told him that I make decisions carefully and I don't regret moving to the US, even though times are cr@ppy right now. Well he failed to call me on our usual talk day, and after sending him an email to ask if everything was OK, he responded by telling me that he's not speaking to me until I "sort myself out" over here (get a job, apartment, etc) and also told me that I forget about my family back home in the UK. He's of the opinion that because there's only me, him and my dad left in our biological family, I'm selfish for moving away while he's trying so hard to keep us all together (we've had a lot of losses over the past few years). Apparently he also told my dad that my husband could've just as easily moved to the UK and that he doesn't know why I'm struggling so much over here when I could 'easily get a job in retail". I don't want to end my relationship with my brother, especially because I now have a baby nephew. But I can't handle all of the judgment. He said I misunderstand everything he says because ultimately he's looking out for me, I'm his only sister that he worries about me. And I love him to bits. But he has no idea how hard it was for me and my husband to be together (the visa process) and for me to try and adjust to the US. It's never as simple as 'just getting him a visa' or for me to just 'get a job'. Is it normal for families to be so ignorant? Do I really have to choose between my relationship with him, and my decision to move to the US? It's now been 15 months. Edited by Gemmie, 27 September 2010 - 04:06 PM.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-27 16:05:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	I've had the same problem. When I was in the UK, I was a size 8 which translates to a size 4 here in America. I've heard that from everyone, and looked it up all over the internet too. Yet when I go to try on the size 4, it's HUGE on me. The jeans are way too wide at the hips and the shirts are way too baggy. I also found that there's always tons of clothes in the bigger sizes, but I'm lucky to even find a 4. It causes me a lot of frustration as well, because every time we go shopping for anything like that (coats, jeans, shirts, pajamas) it's a mission to find anything that fits, and I end up having to buy from the Juniors or Children section. At first we found it funny but now it's kind of annoying. I do love how the shoes have a bigger variety of sizes, they fit me much better over here.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-24 11:25:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	I have to agree about the 'it's similar, but different' thing that throws so many people off. In my case, it seems to pour down all in one day. For example: I'll want something for dinner that's quick and comforting after a long day by myself (unemployed and no license) so I'll look for something in the house. Everything canned is loaded with HFCS, the yogurt tastes strange but I don't know why, so I skip that, and finally settle on a cheese sandwich. We have to buy expensive bread from the baker as everything has HFCS in it and tastes like cake, and then I'll ask my husband if the cheese is still good as it's been in there for over 2 weeks, and he tells me 'yes, the date is the end of 2011'. Then I freak out about why cheese can stay 'good' for so long when it's dairy. Dairy does not stay good for over a year. He makes the argument that everything in the UK just goes off so quickly, and I'm like 'yes, because we don't add a ton of cr@p to it'. Then he gets irritated that I'm criticizing everything about the food, and I get irritated that he doesn't understand, and we just huff at each other until we settle on frozen pizza.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-24 09:23:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	Not only is 'hard' subjective, but there are loads of things you need to consider why someone from Canada or another English-speaking country would have a hard transition. For instance, some are used to uprooting (such as yourself)so perhaps it wouldn't come as such a big shock to the system; some people have a bigger support system no matter where they come from (have you seen those Filipino communities?); some people move to a more rural area where diversity is strange; and some people even go through situations that make the transition more difficult. I know for a fact that I would be happier had I found a job and an apartment soon after moving. After all of this time and a huge string of bad luck within the family, everyone is finding it hard being here, especially me being from a different country with nothing of my own. My brother told me the other day that I made a big mistake in moving to America because I haven't been able to find a job, stuff happened with my in-laws, family members died, etc... he told me that I should be back home with my family. I had to explain to him that my husband IS my family now too, and it's so simple to say in hindsight that a decision was stupid. Had I managed to get the job I was offered a few months ago and moved into our own apartment, I'm sure he would be praising me on my adventurous move. And anyway, as I told him, you take the bad with the good. I do have days where I sometimes think 'WHY did I come here?' as everything is going wrong, but you know what, things would be going wrong in some fashion had my husband moved to the UK, and I wouldn't expect people to criticize that either. It's an international situation, there are going to be hard times.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-09-22 15:06:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	It will come to an end, I promise you it will. I was unemployed and living with my inlaws for over 8 months when I first came to the US. It was a hard road at first, but It really seemed like everything came together all at the same time. My husband was offered a big role in a new business venture, which forced us to another city. Well, moving from big town Denver to a smaller city meant we could actually afford to buy our own home, even just on his moderate income. Shortly after we moved in I got a job that I really enjoy. I recently bought my first new car, which I'm rather proud of, it's something I've never had before. In the course of a month I went from living with my in laws, unemployed and bored out of my mind, to a homeowner with a good job and a new car. I still can't believe all that happened in such a short period of time. Thanks. I know exactly what you mean about it only taking one thing and then the rest will snowball into place. I thought I had cracked it when I was offered the job with the psychiatrist in May and couldn't believe how happy I felt. That meant we could move out, I could buy a car, I'm getting experience for grad school, etc. When it all fell apart, I felt even worse than before. I'm so glad that things worked out for you, I remember how miserable you were at that time. It gives hope to those of us that are waiting for it to strike. Gemmie, can you put a lock on the door? It's never been discussed, but seeing as they usually knock, it will seem odd if we suddenly ask their permission to get a lock. They have told me that I don't need to stay cooped in the bedroom all day, but for some reason I can't integrate fully. They're home every day. Recently the grandfather has been staying with us for 3 days a week because they can't afford a nursing home, and my FIL's boss has also been spending a couple of days a week here so they can work and discuss things. My MIL, FIL, FIL's boss, grandfather-in-law... it just feels too crowded, you know? Especially when I don't have my own car to get away from it all. So I end up staying in the bedroom all day with the dog, sending off job applications from the computer. I felt like I was angry all the time, stressed for no reason, and I had no real idea why. I had changed for the poorer enough because of where I was, if I had fully integrated, I dont think I would have been me at all anymore. This quote rings true for me as well. Monday is usually the day I get angry for no reason, and we decided it was probably because after spending some time together, I'm dropped in the shiz again. Luckily we have a strong marriage and we always manage to talk it out and come back to the realisation that it's the situation that brings this out. I also agree that Canada/England are different from the US in very subtle ways, but you don't really notice them until you're facing it head on. The words are different, the ideologies are different. I feel like I can't say anything that might be taken as liberal because people around me fear 'socialist countries'. The other day I told my FIL that in England parents were paid a certain welfare if they were poor and their children were in full-time college (ages 16-19). He just laughed and said something like "I don't understand anything about that country". Another time I told my in-laws that in England people that were unable to work due to caring for an ill family member were paid a carer's allowance. Nobody said anything, so I made a joke about how "well we are a bunch of communists after all.." and my FIL said "well I wouldn't say you were communist. I've heard a LOT of things about England... SOCIALIST, maybe...". A few weeks ago we were at a party and someone asked me if people in England get tired of having a Queen and not a "proper government". When I first got here, I was told not to swear when I said that something "sucked" so I've filtered out some words I was used to saying. It does wear on you when everyone around you holds different values. Anyway, Sapphire, you give some really good advice there. Often times, I think people don't realise that there is a deeper reason for their unhappiness beyond just not having a car or friends. I know that mine comes from a total transition from an independent life (I lived in a gorgeous city with two friends, went to school, traveled to my family often, had my own money. I know that unless I get that independence back, it will spiral out of control, and it's important to remember that as much as we want to make our spouses happy, we have to do things for ourselves as well.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-08-04 11:16:00
Canada	Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?	Hugs to Kim, Tick Tock and Galateia . Kim, I'm so envious that you have your own place. But then I'm younger than you, so I guess life is all about give and take. It's the constant lack of privacy, you're right, and also the need to question where we're going, what we're having for dinner, how much things cost, etc. My MIL just burst into the room saying that she got a job (after looking for just 3 weeks) and started looking through our closet and laundry pile to see if we had any polo shirts she could use. This is what I'm talking about. Anyways I'm happy for her, but it makes me feel worse about my own situation because I'm the only one not going anywhere in life. You're right Tick Tock, if only we could always see time as just ongoing rather than putting pressure on ourselves to 'do it all' within a certain time frame. I have everything crossed for everyone feeling this way. Edited by Gemmie, 02 August 2010 - 03:54 PM.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-08-02 15:53:00
United Kingdom	2010 United Kingdom Interview Thread	Congratulations!! I know, that number system is TORTURE!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-06-02 17:00:00
United Kingdom	2010 United Kingdom Interview Thread	Just popping in to say good luck to 2010 applicants. This time last year I was getting ready for my interview in May. I remember all of the worries and anxiety (though it didn't kick in until the night before). DON'T STRESS. Everything is quick (once you get to the windows) and painless. SOO EXCITED FOR YOU ALL. You'll soon be on the other side.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-04-09 16:50:00
United Kingdom	Silly question	Thanks guys. Not to sound big-headed, but she is lucky I've gone through the process. She was telling me about filing a B2 visa via advice from CBP, and completely overwhelmed from the information so I pointed her to VJ.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2011-01-15 18:07:00
United Kingdom	Silly question	I'm so sorry to start a new topic asking something so silly, but I'm at work, and a colleage of mine is about to go through the K1 process. The Guides say that the address is Dallas, TX... is this true? Did they change it? I thought I sent mine to VT a few years ago. THanks in advance	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2011-01-11 09:07:00
United Kingdom	Cheerio, farewell!	Sorry to hear this, although I'm happy to hear you feel so thrilled to return home and start the next chapter. Please don't leave VJ though!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2011-01-27 09:16:00
United Kingdom	Slacking on the next steps...AOS	We found the AOS MUCH easier than the K1. Less paperwork, less time, less pressure for it to be processed ASAP (if you're just wanting to be together quickly). I barely thought about it once I sent it, and got the green card within a couple of months. We're removing conditions in October, and I'm already having twitches at having to do more immigration paperwork.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2011-01-04 18:13:00
United Kingdom	Slacking on the next steps...AOS	LOL, we got married and filed AOS in the last week of our 90 days. We were just lazy after the K1 process and wanted to enjoy the break. In hindsight, we probably should've done it sooner as the adjustment was harder, but if Rob is fine with the wait... enjoy!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2010-12-18 10:31:00
United Kingdom	K1 application and Britain	The medical is just expensive, it's not worth the anxiety you get waiting for it. Just a quick check-up and blood test, I was in and out in 40 minutes. The interview was just like being at Argos - I waited 5 hours to be called for a 5 minute conversation (with a few easy questions). Painless!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2011-01-23 11:47:00
United Kingdom	The 2009 United Kingdom Interview Thread!	Congratulations!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-12-17 12:41:00
United Kingdom	The 2009 United Kingdom Interview Thread!	Congrats! Christmas is coming early for some, it seems.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-12-05 22:09:00
United Kingdom	The 2009 United Kingdom Interview Thread!	Congrats!	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-11-24 13:03:00
United Kingdom	The 2009 United Kingdom Interview Thread!	It depends on a lot. Is the postal strike still going on? I got mine in 2 days, you might be lucky. Where are you going to be living?	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-10-05 10:57:00
United Kingdom	The 2009 United Kingdom Interview Thread!	Congratulations Siya.	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-10-02 10:38:00
United Kingdom	The 2009 United Kingdom Interview Thread!	It took a week for our packet to get from NVC to London. After packet 3 submission, I waited 5 weeks before hearing back with my interview date. It should come pretty quickly, but you can find out from the timelines at the top (I believe on the London consulate section).	Gemmie	Female	United Kingdom	2009-09-13 18:47:00