ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I have an interview tomorrow, and another on Tuesday.

Please keep your genies/Jesus/thoughts/whatever sweet for me. :)
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-30 15:00:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!

Gemmie, I was also really hoping with you that you'd land that job. What a let down. I know it must be so stressful for you guys, but is the family dynamic there really such that your continued presence wouldn't be beneficial to his parents?


To be honest, his parents would be really upset if we were to move back, but I just don't care right now. We've spent so long considering their feelings even before this happened, and need to do what's best for us. Bill wants to get out of here just as desperately as I do.

His mum keeps offering her opinion, which is usually completely irrational, she's oblivious to how miserable we are living with her, especially since she attempted suicide. Today I told her I was feeling depressed about our situation and she told me that I need to refrain from getting too down as she's already at the bottom and it's not fair on my husband having to deal with the negativity!

The day she did it, Bill was going to take a day off so we could go and take my road test (so I would at least be able to get out of the house), but now he's had too much time off (to be with his mum). And earlier he told me that because of this, my MIL will have to drive me to the interview tomorrow, which makes me want to scream. It's no wonder that we want to bag our bags and just leave.

And I just got another rejection from my back-up job. :lol:

I hope things go better with you, Krikit. At least something is going right in the US (with his career), right? I second the prospect of getting this year-from-hell over with.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-30 12:57:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I'm thinking of moving back to the UK with my husband. Well actually I've been thinking of it for a long time, but I just got a rejection for the job I spent the last 2 months going for, things at home are becoming markedly worse with my suicidal MIL, and I can't bear the thought of spending another Christmas in this house. I have another interview tomorrow but I think it's only a few hours a week, which still leaves us without benefits and without enough money for an apartment. Our main concern is how to move back when there is no job or flat waiting for us in the UK... I'll keep you updated.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-30 08:49:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
Sorry to hear of the rough night, Allie. Bipolar must be an incredibly hard thing to live with for both of you.

The positive thing is that his meds seem to work very well if this is his first 'episode' and only because he forgot to take his pill. I'm guessing he's going to need a lot of reassurance when he wakes up that you totally understand why it happened and everything is fine. I hope he doesn't feel too awful about it. He's really lucky to such have a supportive wife.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-29 13:08:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!

For Gemmie: (It's towards the end)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OsKk1FtOwc


:lol:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-28 15:54:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
:lol:

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-27 15:43:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
They're sending my MIL home today or tomorrow. BOOOOOOOOOO! No therapist, no hospital, no family consent.

Did I say I hate the health care system in this country? Cause I do. I hate it more than those people that check out their 66 items in the self-checkout isle at Walmart.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-27 11:54:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
Thanks Allie, I'm sorry to hear about your husband, but I'm sure he's really glad he has you for support. I understand in theory that the person is not rational any more, but I guess I can't fathom exactly how it must feel to no longer be yourself, and to want nothing else but to die. Don't get me wrong, I've been depressed at times (as has everyone) and gone through counselling for PTSD etc, but I'm so glad that I've never been *that* down that there is no way out.

Sorry to depress everyone!!

On a happier note, my husband received note that they're going to contact him on Monday about me possibly working in the company, so I have a back-up plan should I not get the psychology job. I also finally managed to pay off my UK debt (other than student loan) and my grandfather's estate was cleared into my account today as well after 15 months of paperwork. We're going out to dinner tonight as the restaurant gave him a free meal for his birthday, and we're going to see Wicked in theatre this weekend. Lots of good stuff. I know this is the b1tchy thread, but I figured I need to do something to pick everyone up again. :lol: ;)

Edited by Gemmie, 24 September 2010 - 04:21 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-24 16:18:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
It's unreal, isn't it? I don't understand how my FIL or the school had no idea what was going on. I guess it's just because she was in charge of so many finances and everything looked fine on the surface, so no one questioned it.

We're feeling a bit emotionally betrayed too. We knew she was depressed (although we thought it was because she lost her job) and told her that she could always talk to us, no matter what. She did tell us a little of this in confidence a few months back, so thought if anything else came up, she would let us know. She did look us each in the eye and promise us that no matter what happened, she would never hurt herself. But the other day she admitted that she wanted to die about 4 weeks before she attempted suicide, she carried a knife in her purse, she was driving on the highway at 80mph without a seatbelt, and suffered through our wedding anniversary as 'she didn't want to do it then'. So we don't understand how she can make such a promise and then break it. She says she doesn't even remember the act of doing it, but we're not even sure about that as she's shown she remembers bits and pieces. She has a lot of trust to build once she's better.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-24 14:47:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!

Gemmie, anything new with your MIL?

How is everyone?


She's still in the Mental Health Emergency Facility, and apart from her pills, she still hasn't had any treatment yet because her health insurance doesn't begin until October. So we're guessing they'll keep her there until then, and move her to a facility with psychologists and whatnot. She has been allowed to come out on visits and she seems to be doing better, but it's hard to say when she hasn't gotten any real treatment.

Legal updates. There was a meeting with the school she worked at, and they decided to take out a loan and pay back the IRS taxes that she didn't report/pay when she was treasurer. She revealed that she had been "borrowing" money over the past 8 years, transferring money to and from the school bank account, and they want to discuss it with her when she's better. She still claims she doesn't remember doing it, but in the past few months had started seeing the evidence that she had, and became physically ill with the shock. The school are closing due to a lack of funds, so she thinks they're going to press charges and send her to jail for embezzlement, or sue her. She also had a ton of credit card debt (that again she claims she doesn't remember). We've spoken with a lawyer and he said as long as there's no fraud, she can declare bankruptcy and have that wiped out. Problem is, she might have signed cheques with other peoples names, so don't know how well that will work. Everything is a big ol' mess, and I'm really on the fence, she's broken the law and should have to pay some consequence, but I also feel awful for my husband and the family. Obviously we don't want to see his mum in jail, and I don't think she could survive in there either.

My husband and I are still processing emotions as we find something out every day. I'm not an angry person but lately I'm feeling it. I feel angry that she put the entire family at risk by her actions - not just with finances but we do still risk losing the house if someone sues or during bankruptcy. I'm angry that I gave up my life in the UK to come here and begin a new one with my husband, only to have his parents problems impact us so much. Perhaps it would've been better if we weren't living with them, but such is life when I haven't been able to get a job. Before it was just a case of having no privacy, but now their marital/financial/emotional problems are literally ours too. If we're not visiting her, we're having to listen to my FIL going on and on about it. I'm waiting to hear back from a job interview, and MY GOD I HAVE NEVER HOPED FOR IT SO MUCH. :lol: I love my in-laws to death, but I would love nothing more than to shove a giant separation in there, so we can just enjoy our own lives away from the drama.

If anyone has a genie, please pass that on! :P
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-24 14:07:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
Wow I never expected such huge support, thanks so much everyone.

She's now in a psychiatric facility (after spending 3 whole days in ER because of a lack of health insurance) where they'll keep her for 5 days maximum, but who knows after that. She's being treated with anti-depressants and meeting with a psychiatrist later today. We're hoping they either place her somewhere else or renew her 5 days or something. We don't want her to come home until we know for sure that's she won't regress. Once she does come home, her phone/computer will be taken away so she can't make any transactions without people knowing. The biggest thing is earning back trust.

I had a huge talk with her, and she *thinks* she did this because she's convinced she's going to jail over some financial issues that she had repressed. She said everything has been coming back to her, all of the things she did with credit cards, taxes, etc - that she "blocked out". My FIL said that the final thing she wrote in her letters was "why can't I remember?" which is a little freaky. I'm hoping I get to speak with the psych team and let them know about her dissociation. But it's good that she's finally realised that she has a problem.

I'll keep everyone updated. Don't mean to turn this into such a disturbing topic though, so feel free to keep b1tching about everyday life. :)

Edited by Gemmie, 17 September 2010 - 12:27 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-17 12:27:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
Thhanks guys, I know, it is awful. The scary thing is that she doesn't even remember it. She can remember just before she did it and then moments of people finding her, but that's it. She has a real problem with dissociating during times of stress, which is actually how she came to this. So the main worry is that she won't "be there" if she ever feels she's in that place again. She's finally accepting that her methods of coping are unhealthy and is open to getting the help she needs, which is positive.

My husband has been amazing. When they found her, even though he was acting in panic mode, he made sure I stayed away because he didn't want to re-traumatise me. He took me to work with him today so I wouldn't have to be alone, he's been sleeping holding me real close so if I wake up he can comfort me instantly. I'm trying to be there for him as well, we've talked a lot about everything. It's times like these that you realise how much you need and love someone, huh. :)

Edited by Gemmie, 16 September 2010 - 11:40 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-16 11:39:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
Alert; a very personal and disturbing post. :-/

Remember how I said my in-laws were having huge financial/personal problems, making it hard to live with them?

My MIL tried to kill herself on Tuesday morning. She's now in the hospital, and being transferred to a psych facility today. No health insurance. They're already north of 330K in debt. Apparently we're going to lose the house as well. What makes this worse is that my own mum killed herself when I was a teenager (both experiences were almost identical), and I'm now having night terrors again, haven't had that in years. My poor husband is dealing with that, as well as his own trauma of finding her.

If there is a God, I would like a word with him now, thx.

ETA: I realise this probably wasn't a good place to say it, but it feels good to tell people that aren't involved personally.

Edited by Gemmie, 16 September 2010 - 11:19 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-16 11:17:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I find it amusing when Bill uses British phrases in the wrong context, but rather than being able to explain why it sounds weird, I just laugh instead. Like one time when we were having a serious disagreement and he said I was being a "selfish prat". :lol: I thik only old men say that nowadays.

Or when he'll say he "can't be arsed" but puts on a British accent for the one phrase, even when he tries not to.

Edited by Gemmie, 09 September 2010 - 04:18 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-09 16:15:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!

I think what really gets him though is that I don't really like my food to touch, so sometimes I'll use 3 bowls when he uses one plate


Is this an American thing (like the holding a knife during each meal is a British thing)? My husband is the same and it drives me nuts. Even if dinner is just chicken pie with fries, he'll hand me a plate with fries, a bowl with pie in it, and just a fork! :bonk:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-09 12:43:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I hate when people don't thank you for gifts. Especially when it's consistently not thanked by the same people, across birthdays, Christmas, etc. We just sent my brother a big package of American candy and some gifts for his son who is turning one tomorrow. He called to say he got the package and he was disappointed that there were no strawberry flavours in there. Seriously? These packages cost between $20-40 to even send.

On an up-note, Dodi gave me the first laugh of the day with her Chuck-climbing-up-husband's-#### story. :lol:

Edited by Gemmie, 09 September 2010 - 10:36 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-09 10:36:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I find it funny that Katy Perry has stated she will apply for citizenship as soon as she marries Russell Brand. She has a big surprise coming. The writer of The Sun commented that he did some research and it appeared that she would either have to wait 3 years or contact the Home Secretary or something to push it through. :rolleyes: Led by reader comments about how we already knew that people were citizens once they married Brits. I wish this misconception was publicly addressed. Here come a million questions about why we had to get a visa, etc because Katy Perry will 'simply' become a Brit.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-03 11:12:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I didn't have a UK license, Dodi. I lived in cities, so didn't need one. I passed the written test in March and have been practicing since then, too nervous to book the test before now. But yeah, easy peasy over here. I love the huge roads and being allowed to turn on red.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-02 15:49:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I live in a small town outside of Boston unfortunately, there aren't buses or even sidewalks. Just highways. I've decided to just pick a date to be ready for my road test (so that I can't back out of it), and at least once I have my license, I'll be able to take myself out of the house at night when there's a car available. Feeling cooped up is not great. Pleeeeeeeease everyone cross their fingers that I get this job next week so I can have a life!! :help: Sounds awesome how you coped in Germany though. And it's a really cool experience that you now have, not many people can say they've done that.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-02 12:25:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I'm in a particularly b1tchy mood today as my job interview has been moved a week out and my FIL is downstairs with his boss. They work from home (in the living room) 1-2 days a week and they're so loud and annoying, I feel trapped in the bedroom. It's his house so I can't complain, but WOW I wish I had my own car. Or a life outside of the house. ;)
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-01 13:27:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!

One thing to think about, once the cow-bag daughters realise there really is nothing else to be financially gained from their father, they'll hopefully ####### off and you'll never hear from them again


Exactly what I was going to say. Leeches like these two will only be around during the 'after-math' and then slither away once they realise they're not gaining anything. I'm sorry you're going through this. Focus on you and your mum, and don't waste energy on silly little girls like that. Just think how sad their lives must be if they have to behave this way.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-31 12:14:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
I'm almost jealous that you get to avoid the "when are you having kids" thing 20x a month, but then I remember the chip-in "advice" from all the parents, plus the horrible side-effects of growing a person. :crying:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-27 14:36:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!
Yes. Deetz!
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-14 09:51:00
United KingdomUK B!tches Unite!

I think it means that you're in love with Gary and want to dive off his private dock


When I read that quickly, I thought it said 'pirate c0ck'. :mellow:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-13 15:27:00
Russia, Ukraine and BelarusTo those about to fly to R/U/B

Please drop by the UK room more often, gents. I take a lot of nasty skewering for having established myself as 'head' of our relationship, it'll be aces to finally have someone with my back to counter the self-imposed internet police.


I doubt they're going to make a 1950's forum just for you, Julian. (L)
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-08 11:41:00
Russia, Ukraine and BelarusTo those about to fly to R/U/B
I didn't see the bit about Canadian women. Aren't you British, Krikit?

Edited by Gemmie, 08 June 2010 - 11:07 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-08 11:07:00
Russia, Ukraine and BelarusTo those about to fly to R/U/B

As I stated in the post above (feel free to read it again) I made no disparaging remarks about UK/Canada/Irish women in your forum. If I did...post it. Otherwise..get a life, or just get drunk.


Maybe not in the other forum but in this thread you've made a few ignorant comments about UK/Irish women.

Don't mind me, just pulling out my big spoon. :whistle:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-08 11:03:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaTHE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
We knew each other for 4.5 years.

It was very romantic, he asked me on the beach at night. Might sound cliche but the speech wasn't.

He bought the ring.. beautiful.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-11-29 17:12:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)K1 confusion
Apparently the woman at NVC said she has no idea why our NOA2 says what it does.. she said they usually say that the case has been sent to NVC as opposed to the Consulate!! What is wrong with these people..

Anyway she said our file was sent to London two days ago.. smile.gif
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2009-01-09 18:10:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)K1 confusion
I'll get him to call them later, thanks. smile.gif
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2009-01-09 15:02:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)K1 confusion
OK thanks, so is it normal for VSC to state that they've forwarded it to the CONSULATE and not mention NVC?

We haven't recieved anything from the NVC either.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2009-01-09 14:43:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)K1 confusion
We got our hard copy of the NOA2 today (a week later) from VSC and we're a little confused.

It mentions that our file has been forwarded to "the Consulate" stated and then they don't list London anywhere and they don't mention the NVC either - isn't it their job to forward it to the Consulate?
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2009-01-09 11:26:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresProcessing a K-3, can I go back to the States while process, with a Visa waiver?
Perhaps you can get letters from your friends/family stating that you do intend on returning within the 90 days?

Take those along with a return ticket, and maybe even a letter from yourself officially claiming that you don't intend to over-stay...

If you want to take the risk of being turned away at the POE at the chance of seeing your husband, that would probably be the best bet. Unless you can hold on for a few more months.

Some people have made up answers when asked about their reason for visiting or their jobs in their home country but I wouldn't advise this, as you may be caught out and it will do more harm.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-02 05:26:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresProcessing a K-3, can I go back to the States while process, with a Visa waiver?
Well I'm filing for K1, and not K3, but I just wanted to say that I'm experienced the same thing.

I saw my fiancee 2 weeks ago but came back to Europe to work and get some money in to cover rent in the UK. I plan to go back to the US in about 3-4 weeks under the VWP. I'm worried that they won't accept my leaving and returning in such a short space of time, but if I don't go back now, I won't see him again until Christmas. I used to be able to wait for 4-6 months and handle it but everytime I leave my hubby-to-be, the harder it gets and I can only handle a couple months apart before I need to see him again.

I will take a copy of the contract for my house (that ends in 2009) and a copy of registration from my university (that ends in 2009) as well as my return ticket... I just hope everything will be OK, as I've never had problems getting through POE before and I've always been honest and said I just want to visit my fiancee.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-02 04:59:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresLong Waits/Short Waits!!!
I was talking to the poster above that claimed people working at USCIS "think they can do what they want, when they want, how they want it" and that they were "inconsiderate slobs". If you want to blame the system, fair enough because it does indeed suck. But I don't believe that the individuals working on cases are ruthless for the sake of it.

I agree with you that the wait should be equal at both service centres but unfortunately that's not the case, and it's been a recurring pattern. A fall in approvals is due round about now and will speed up over the coming months.

I understand why you must be feeling frustrated and obviously you're more than welcome to rant about it. I've seen many people around here that are on a 6 month wait, some that are on a 12 month wait, and many that don't know why others are being approved before them. But don't jump on me because I'm a new filer; I have my own frustrations too. I'd been waiting just to send my file off since June but circumstances meant that I had to wait another 2 months... in those 2 months, the wait for approval at VSC has almost doubled while I could do nothing but sit back and watch it, and I don't expect my petition to reach the consulate any time this year.

There's nothing else that I, or any of us can do except know that our approvals are all going to come and that the number of them will increase shortly.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-16 08:57:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresLong Waits/Short Waits!!!
I don't think that's true.

There are THOUSANDS of cases to work through and more coming in everyday. They're all stuffed into storage because there are just not enough officers to work on them, and not enough time to counter-balance the amount still coming in. No one is sitting at their desk with a pile of cases, choosing not to work, and laughing at the stupid foreigners having to wait... it's just that there are THAT many people trying to move to the US to be with their family.

I'm a VSC filer too and I hate that the centres have reserved and that we're now looking at a much longer wait. However, not long ago it was CSC that had to wait and not too many VSC filers were complaining then; just relieved that it wasn't them... and now California has been sped up because more officers were employed, people are just complaining about Vermont. They're doing everything they can. Being bitter about the officers isn't going to do anyone any good, just give you more stress. Just tell yourself that your case is IN their pile and will be worked on as soon as possible.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-16 05:03:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresSo finally CSC is jinxed
QUOTE
CMNB, i'm not LUCKY to have been born here, it was something that was planned and orchestrated and carried out by my still living grandparents decision to get the hell out of a country that wouldn't guarantee OUR 1st Amendment rights. (Castro) So there's no luck in it. My grandparents came here with nothing... their degrees were ignored or not counted, their work experience unverifiable, their English sub-par and somehow they made it possible for my parents and now their kids (ME) to live the American Dream... only there are hundreds of thousands if not millions waiting in front of me, who with combined with my mother have over 70 years of natural citizenship...

Can you sit there and tell me that someone who was naturalized 5 years ago, 10 years ago or 8 months ago deserves to go ahead of me?


It amazes me that you can tell the story of how your family have come from foreign lands and struggled to stand on their feet in America, but succeeded... and then claim that you being born there should have priority over others that have done the same as your grandparents. Can you not see the hypocrisy there? My great-grandparents were American, does that mean my case has priority over others? In fact, they were NATIVE American, surely that means I have more right than any American here whose family came from other lands! You get behind me, even though your case came first!

Just no... first come, first served... as long as you're a US citizen, that's all that matters.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-21 06:39:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresK1/K3 filing simultaneously
That's a K3 visa.

There's a forum here dedicated to those. smile.gif

Edited by Gemmie, 22 August 2008 - 06:14 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-22 06:13:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresK1/K3 filing simultaneously
Or maybe you mean the I-129F that is used in both applications?
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-22 05:26:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & Procedurestravel tickets
I never use travel agents, they're way too expensive. They never really do get you the "cheapest" flights, especially when a percentage goes to themselves.

I use Expedia, it's cheap and compares airline prices.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-12 04:29:00