ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAugust 2008 Filers
Great news Mara, here's hoping Chris gets some good news this time!!

Welcome to AF Seb/Terri, someone got approved from the end of July yesterday so you could be up very soon!

Looking around these boards really makes me relieved that I filed for the K1 now (even though it's 10 months in advance).. some people have been waiting 6 months+ to get a NOA2, others stuck at the NVC in processing, others having problems with the consulate such as getting their medical done in enough time... so many things can go wrong with this process and it makes me realise we made the right decision with planning and applying with a lot of time... I can safely say that I will be moving to be with my fiance next June or July because by then I'm pretty certain I'll have everything done and have the visa.

I'm off out now to have lunch with my housemates and get on with some writing. smile.gif Happy Monday, guys!

Edited by Gemmie, 03 November 2008 - 07:53 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-11-03 07:53:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAugust 2008 Filers
We're on page 69. *giggle*
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-10-31 06:19:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAugust 2008 Filers
I went to a Halloween party last night, I'll post pics soon! Tomorrow night, my friend is coming to visit and put scary make-up on us while we watch horror movies.. and then Saturday we're having a horror movie marathon at another girl's house... so a busy few days!

Plus I have my psychology projects to work on..

I want to see a pic of your wedding bands soon, HD..
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-10-30 17:08:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAugust 2008 Filers
That sounds positive!

I really liked the look of a place in Florida, a night ceremony with candles, and flowers, and oh my! laughing.gif

But it was also the first place I saw, so I imagine I should look around a lot more before committing to anything. Bill reckons we should find somewhere in the New England area, like Mass, or Maine, Rhode Island... or Connecticut seeing as his mother is afraid of flying...

Edited by Gemmie, 29 October 2008 - 07:19 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-10-29 07:18:00
CanadaAnyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?
Today is one of those days. My best friend back home has moved into her new apartment with her boyfriend, who just got a new job. Incidentally, he was barely looking, just scanning ads for months, until she finally told him how important it was, and then bang - he's employed. I saw on Facebook that an old friend just had her baby and is talking about how her life is complete, and she asked me "so when are you having a baba then?". And someone that moved to the US and got her work permit a fortnight ago has just landed a job.

I feel like I'm behind some tinted window that can see everyone else living life, but they can't see me. I feel like I don't exist over here. Having to be alone everyday and browse search engines to send off the same stuff is absolutely draining. I'm just running on auto-pilot. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get a job or move out of his parents, or have that life of our own that we dream of. My husband spent the weekend telling me that we're going to have all of these things, and a little part of me believed it. But today is... one of those days.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-02 14:37:00
CanadaAnyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?
To the person that said if their friends back home could hear what a hard time they were having, and would think they're a loser: I feel that way too. They think I'm the lucky one, having this big adventure moving to another country and setting up a new life. But the reality of it is hard. I don't have a life here, and whenever I talk to them it reinforces it. I've seen their problems come and go within a few weeks, and mine has stuck. Facebook can be an evil at times, seeing everyone move house, advance in their career, getting pregnant.

I can't drive back to my country, even in 6-8 hours, which I would love! I've only been back for a week in the past 14 months and I miss it so much. I talk to my husband about this all the time, to the point where he gets tired of hearing it because there's nothing he can do. He gets home from a stressful day at work and listens to me whine about how I've been stuck in all week and haven't spoken to a living soul outside of this house, and there have been times where I've screamed at him for not letting me just go back to the UK. It must be awful for him to see me like this. Once I'm feeling better, I let him know that I could never leave him, but sometimes the only bit of control I have is the ability to say "I'm turning back". What else is there to do, when you can't move forward?

Like everyone else, it comes and goes. Yesterday I had a productive day, filing applications for different PhD courses, writing a checklist of what was needed, applying to a few jobs online, and then even going to the police station and filling out an application in person. But today I'm on empty, and my mind wanders to all the 'what if' situations, what if I'm stuck here for another Christmas, what if no job accepts me for being out of employment for so long, what if by the time we get to start a family, we can't have one, what if, what if. I'm only 23 years old, but compared to the ones who feel they're much older, I feel I'm only 16 years old - starting out again, learning how to do adult things, trying to get some independence.

Hugs to all of you. Everyone going through is is incredibly brave and resilient, and if I could, I would buy you all cups of tea so we could all have a good vent and then do something fun together to take our minds from it. :star:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-07-30 10:13:00
CanadaAnyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?

There are perhaps five schools in the world with NTS' stature, so there we are. I have doubts that I even possess the ability to continue my work, considering how withered and dull I've become. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, eh?


Believe me, you're only feeling this way (in bold) because of how much confidence you've lost since moving to the US. I know because I feel it too. I find it hard to walk into a place and ask for an application form, something I never flinched about in my country. I don't even like answering the phone in case the person on the other end can't understand me, or I don't understand what they're needing from me. Ridiculous, isn't it? The only time I feel more like myself is when I go into the city and I'm surrounded by people from all kinds of backgrounds. One day here, I had an amazing interview with a psychiatrist and we had the best discussion related to my field, we talked for 40 minutes and I didn't feel nervous at all. I was just so darn excited to be able to use my brain and interact with someone on my wavelength, and that's when I realised that I could feel more like myself if I achieved something in my career. Unfortunately I got the job, but then the funding fell through, so I lost it anyway. But the point is, don't allow yourself to be lost completely. That part of you that loves theatre design is still inside you, and I think we all just saw it for a moment.

A loss of confidence changes you in so many ways, this is also why you're questioning why your husband is even interested in 'someone like you'. I have no doubt that you possess the ability to continue your work, and I can tell that only from the passion you have for theatre design, the way you light up when you think and talk of it.

Edited by Gemmie, 28 July 2010 - 04:10 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-07-28 16:09:00
CanadaAnyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?
This is a timely post as this is how I've been feeling lately.

I had reservations about moving over here because my husband couldn't find a job no matter how hard he looked. I was worried that we would be stuck, and although he managed to get a job, it's practically minimum wage and not enough to support us. I've been looking for work as well for the past 6 months and although I've had a few bites, nothing has been successful. My plan was to get a job in my field, and then work for a while before starting a family, but now I'm considering going for my PhD. It takes 5 years which means my plans to have a family are greatly compromised, but I don't know what else to do. I CRAVE mental stimulation, and to feel like I'm learning and bettering myself. I'm feeling depressed staying at home everyday with his parents, and like you I don't have any interest in things anymore. I feel like a shell of my old personality who could talk for hours and stay positive during hard times. He doesn't know how to make me feel better, and he also feels guilty for not being able to find a job that supports us. I'm going to admit it, I do sometimes wonder if I made a mistake. A few times I have considered moving back to my country, but I honestly couldn't leave my husband as I love him so much, and I need us to be together. I can't imagine my life without him.

I don't really know what to tell you, other than you're not alone. Many people feel these things when they make the move, and I'm a firm believer that you need internal AND external things to feel better; you need the motivation and effort to carry on (internal) - but also the luck and reception from other people i.e. to help get a job or find friends (external). Right now it seems like you have every motivation to get yourself out of this situation, but are stuck without the practical things, like myself.

Is it possible you can hang on in there until he finishes school? How long does he have left? Because if there's an end goal, that means you can start planning the steps you need for your own life.

If you'd like to chat, you can message me and I'll give you my number. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who knows how you're feeling.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-07-28 08:56:00
CanadaHolier then thou attitude
It is, but I prefer that than the ones that don't know much about politics and vote anyway.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-10-21 15:33:00
CanadaHolier then thou attitude
Growing old here isn't appealing to us at the moment either.

My husband's grandfather has Alzheimers and needs 24/7 care but he can't get into a nursing home because in the past, he had money (that his wife spent over the years). They can't afford home help as they were charging $8,000 per month, and all the 'elderly services' can do is take care of him during the day but aren't able to be there in the mornings and evenings which is when he needs it most. So my in-laws have to go to his house every morning to wash him, feed him, and take him to a day care centre and then go to pick him up at the end of the day.

:unsure:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-10-20 17:31:00
CanadaHolier then thou attitude

If someone did something like that here, I think I probably would say something like: "Gah! Only in Jersey, stupid jerk!" because it's an easy scape goat. Not: "Wow maybe that dude has been brought up in an abrasive home" or "Wow maybe he's got some problems at home" or "Maybe he's just really unhappy and needs a hug" :P


I agree. I guess it's because when you encounter an "outsider" you think to yourself 'oooh I've never met an X before, wonder how they are' and you interpret their behaviour as being representative of the nationality.

My husband came to England for the first time in 2007 and when we were on the bus ride to my apartment, we drove through a town where a couple of teenagers were being arrested outside a pub for fighting (it was after 11pm). Then when we spoke to his parents on the phone, they asked how he liked it, and he said "my first impression of England was seeing a bunch of people being violent in the street" and I was like... WHAT? Not only did you just exaggerate, but if a fight broke out in Boston, you wouldn't flinch! :lol: It's probably also because he comes from a small rural town, so he hadn't seen that before anywhere, but I was still annoyed that he attributed it to an English thing.

Edited by Gemmie, 19 October 2010 - 04:31 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-10-19 16:30:00
CanadaHolier then thou attitude
Like Sprailenes, I get it from both ends. My US family make fun of my "socialized" viewpoints, and my UK family make fun of the need-to-move-into-21st-century lifestyle. I do try to educate and defend both sides, but people will think what they want.

My brother is the most judgemental person I've ever known, and I've heard him claim that Americans are braggers/egotistical and up themselves. It bothered me more when he accused my husband of being a braggart just because he had a better laptop system, and because he had money to send to me when I needed it - and then another time when he didn't laugh at one of his racist jokes, he accused him of being too up himself.

One time I sent him some pictures of our weekend trip, and he emailed back with "You sure are lucky. I mean, America might have a lot of bad people, but there are nice places to visit." :lol: I replied telling him that there are bad people everywhere, but didn't get a response.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-10-19 13:29:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq
Congratulations to Danielle!
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-10-28 10:18:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq
If we have a baby here, I'm thinking of using my grandfather's inheritance money to have my own maternity pay whilst staying home with him/her. I probably will be looking for a new job once I'm done, but I'm not putting my newborn in daycare. The job I'm going for gives 12 weeks off but it's all unpaid.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-18 09:23:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq
He'll be 1 in a few weeks.

I sure hope so, but paranoia runs in some of my family members so I'm not holding my breath. :lol:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-17 16:03:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq
I feel the same way, maybe it's an American thing to put your baby in daycare because of the limited maternity leave and pay. I know that my family/friends would be horrified.

I do think daycare can offer socialization as long as it isn't involving aggressive behaviour, which of course we can't guarantee. My brother and sister-in-law are the opposite, they never take their baby out of the apartment apart from a short car-ride to his grandparents. They make excuses when I suggest taking him to the park nearby. They refuse to take him to a kids restaurant, they've cancelled out all public transport (buses, trains, planes), won't let him stay overnight with his grandmother or his aunties because of personal issues. They even don't want him watching kids shows/cartoons. I just wonder how he's going to learn social skills when he's cooped up in the flat all day, you know?

Edited by Gemmie, 17 August 2010 - 03:26 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-17 15:25:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq
The awful maternity laws are the reason I'm thinking of not doing my PhD if I'm accepted. They give you 8 weeks if you can get your supervisor to agree, sometimes paid, sometimes unpaid. And after that you have to show you can still do the work (teaching, writing your thesis) if you want more time off, which is almost impossible to do with a newborn keeping you up at night and needing you every hour. I asked my husband what people do, and he said they put them in daycare - which apparently has a few months waiting list in grad programmes! - or are lucky enough to have their partner earning enough to support everyone. :unsure: Having a family that I can spend time with is much more important to me than any career.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-17 12:56:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq

OMG ty so much guys..now i KNOW i'm normal!!! :lol: You have echoed everything i've been feeling for the last couple months. And truthfully, our k1 took so long we didn't want to wait another 6 months to save up money..wish we did in a way..

I've been so fucused on not being an inconvenience to them, that i don't focus on my marriage enough..i mean it's not like we lived together and got to know each others habits beforehand..an LD relationship for 2 years is quite a bit different. So this is very trying on both of us, and neither of us can be ourselves.

Awww Sh1te...David just told me the apartment wants a co -signor..they want him to make 3 times the amount of the rent..damn..it's the only place that will take the dogs :( and his credit score is under 700 so getting a mortgage is out ...course trying to even get a house cheaper than 80 near is work is almost next to impossible too..blargh..

WTB EAD ASAP!!


I hear ya, Kimbear. We're having exactly the same problems. We can't really be ourselves either because we have to suppress how we're feeling to not make them feel uncomfortable. Also, both of my in-laws recently became unemployed so they're around me ALL FREAKING DAY. I love them to death and I really appreciate them letting us stay, but jeez, I really need some space, you know? I don't have any friends yet so I can't escape them.

Like you, we found an apartment that is PERFECT (including allowing pets) and we can afford it, but they're asking for 3x the rent. Bill only makes 19K a year so I need to find something decent and stable, but I can't find a job that will take me on because of issues like funding or needing my own car, etc.

Let's keep our fingers crossed, eh... hopefully you'll find something as soon as that EAD comes in!

Nina - Your in-laws sound so sweet. But I do understand. My MIL doesn't want us to move out (self-admitted), and I swear she comes up with things just to keep us here sometimes.

Edited by Gemmie, 28 June 2010 - 02:58 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-28 14:57:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq

Yep I lived in my husbands bedroom for that year too... so awkward. It never feels like home and you just don't feel right. Also just annoying that they have a front seat to your marriage... in it's beginnings which is always a little difficult and you're still getting adjusted. I definitely would have told him to get his own place first too.


Yeah, definitely. Everyone says the first year of marriage is the most difficult (which is hard for me to comment on because we've spent the entire year at his parents') but it really does suck some of the life out of it. We didn't even feel comfortable having "alone time" for a while when they were around, and were scheduling it for when they went to bed. :unsure:

Edited by Gemmie, 28 June 2010 - 11:45 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-28 11:44:00
CanadaOff Topic Part Cinq
I've also been living with the in-laws for a year. At first it was slightly irritating but now it's absolutely awful, and it's making us feel quite depressed. I completely get the need for your own space, and what you said about needing to argue sometimes without having them eavesdrop. His mother sometimes even asks what happened! And it's just the little things, you know. They have a joint living room and kitchen, which means if we want to cook, we have an audience. And they've still not figured out that we are adults that don't need questions and comments on everything. If we're going out, they actually ask where we're going (just for curiousity sake, but I still don't like it) and when my husband gets home from work, he has to walk past their room/s so he gets stopped to have small talk every day.

Occasionally they'll go out on the weekends so we our own space, and then in a few hours they come home, turn all the lights on, and talk over everything, and we end up going back to our (small) bedroom.

If I could've done this differently, I would've held off on coming to the US until we could have our own place. It's a necessity. As it was, we thought it would be for a couple of months. To add to that, it looks like my husband's grandfather (who has Alzheimers) is coming to stay. Shoot me now.

Sorry to butt in. But I feel your pain. :lol:

Edited by Gemmie, 28 June 2010 - 11:42 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-28 11:39:00
CanadaDon't you love it when...
I love this topic. smile.gif

Very good vibes.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-09-03 10:10:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre
If it makes you or anyone else feel better, I had an interview for McDonalds in the UK and never got the job (when I was desperate to buy a plane ticket to see my husband).

And I claim to be a smart person who interviewed very well. :whistle:

Edited by Gemmie, 01 September 2010 - 03:57 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-09-01 15:57:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre
I'd just like to add that I hate when people tell me I have to get used to "the real world" when I complain that I'm not fully awake at 8am or am not a morning person. I believe we all have our 'natural' times where we feel more awake. Mine happens to be between 5pm and 10pm. I wouldn't tell a morning person that they're babies who can't make it!

As long as I make it to wherever I'm supposed to be, leave me alone.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-23 12:19:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre

Regardless, your husband's mother sounds like a control freak and is unwilling to let her son grow up and be an adult. Unfortunately, you're not going to be able to change them. I hope you and your husband will be able to build a life together without their toxicity having a negative impact on the two of you.


I definitely agree, and you're not alone. I'm struggling to learn this lesson as well, with my family either criticizing my husband or claiming that I no longer care about the ones back home. The way you said it was a 'breech of contract' is exactly how it feels. They want me to fail (telling me that my education was worthless and asking why I haven't applied at McDonalds yet, telling me that there's a sofa available WHEN my marriage ends) because then it will prove them right, and have me come back to the family. Everything I do is interpreted as careless and they even went so far as to call me selfish because 'all I care about is me and my husband'.

And you know what? As harsh as it sounds, that's the way it should be! You and your husband are a family too, you've united your lives in order to be your own unit, along with its separate values, ideals, communication, plans, etc. If you both decide to stay together and not go back for the visit because of WHATEVER reason (let alone when it's a genuine financial reason), that should be the end of that. There is so much negativity around the family, try not to let it spread to you. Like I said, I'm trying to learn this lesson too, because I still get so angry and upset when I'm attacked for wanting a life separate from theirs. I hope you find the strength to ignore everything they throw at you, either directly or indirectly through the emails. When you do, send me some plz. :lol:
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-10 12:08:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre
It's a good attitude to have, people will think what they want at the end of it all. God knows my own family think that I abandoned them, and it did come out more when my own grandfather passed away because I couldn't make it to the funeral. Bit it did pass. Hopefully they'll accept it more as times goes on.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-02 14:12:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre
Really sorry, Tick Tock. :(

It's a shame that you have a sad memory of him as your last, but try to remember the one you had before that, when he smiled and got to see your husband, etc.

It's also a shame that your mum thought/thinks you don't care. I think it's difficult for family to realise that just because you had a hard decision to make (moving countries) to make yourself happy, it doesn't mean you no longer care about the ones left behind. Maybe you could explain that to her the next time you talk. Sometimes it's draining to have to call home when you have no good news, and then listen to negative things on the other end.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-08-02 11:11:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre

this is going to sound harsh, but since my family pretty much acts like i don't exist..well..they don't exist for me either. i used to drive from ottawa to montreal to visit my mother and sister, and all they did was criticize every aspect of my being. what i do with my life, what i do with my hair clothes etc. i pretty much stopped seeing them and calling them. mom used to call me all the time at work etc. just to ###### about everything including her neighbours..my family is very racist and i honestly couldn't care less who pissed her off by just looking at her...


I think we were both adopted and are actually biological sisters. :luv: This is exactly the experience I've had too. I used to take the train to visit my dad and brother and all I ever got was criticism for the decisions I've made, the way I dress, colour my hair, having a blemish on my face, even having friends. I still get a weekly call so they can ###### about everyone they know, and yes they are incredibly racist and paranoid about everyone. My husband says they way they are towards me (and your family to you) because of jealousy. I'm guessing you've done things in your life that they've never done or will ever get to do. We're the black sheep and it's easy to make fun of the black sheep.

And TT, I'm sorry for everything you're going through right now. I missed my grandfather's funeral as well because I was stuck in the US and if it's any consolation, I didn't feel as bad once the actual day was over. I went to a cliff and released a letter on a balloon for him instead. Maybe you can do something like that. And if all else fails, ask your family if you can be on speaker-phone during the funeral.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-07-16 11:38:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre
Really sorry to hear that, Krikit. :( I hope the family are dealing with this in the best possible way. I guess it makes you realise how unimportant the small vents are.

LGG, I feel your pain. It's difficult for people that haven't experienced the move to understand that it comes with both good and bad emotions. When you're constantly complaining that you miss your husband and counting down the days until you get your visa and can go and be together, I think it's hard for them to see that the journey does not end there. I'm lucky in that my best friends have been there for me whenever they could (due to timezones) and have listened to my gripes about the move, but I haven't been so lucky with my family. I too have been told that "you have your husband, you can afford to pay for the trip to visit us" when I don't feel comfortable using our savings to do so. I've already been told that they're not able to 'simply drop their lives and visit the US' for at least the next five years, yet I'm constantly being asked when I'm coming back again. It seems like because I made the decision to move, it's my responsibility to "pay it back" by being the one to visit home rather than them making effort to come and see my new home. And it also seems like because I made the decision to move, I can't discuss my negative experiences with them in fear of being told "we told you not to leave" (which happened once).

Unfortunately, some friends aren't able to understand the complexities and you'll find that you lose contact with them. I have a friend here who also emigrated from the UK, and she said that it's a depressing fact that those friends move on, and it's sad - but you'll also make new ones in your new home, and have those precious ones back home that hold onto you. (L)
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-15 12:17:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre

Which leads me to my vent. lol We've been married for less than 5 months.. and frankly as far as I'm concerned, didn't even get to have a real wedding.. and I don't have a job! And my husband doesn't even have a job! And we've only known each other 2 years anyways... AND there's about a billion things I want to do in life before having a baby, not to mention TRY to enjoy being married (which, honestly, has been hard to do in our current financial situation)... I don't care that I'm 29 yrs old and my clock is ticking. Just because I'm married, doesn't mean a baby is arriving ASAP, if AT ALL for that matter. GAWD I HATE THAT STEREOTYPE.... ok done.


OMG I get this all the time. Every time I post something on Facebook that might even HINT that there is a change happening, people ask if we're having a baby. For example, one time I said that I was "excited", people started asking why, and when I said I wanted to keep it quiet in case it didn't work out (job interview), it was like 'ooooh, baby??' When people catch up with you that you haven't spoken to in years and find out you've recently got married, the first thing they want to know is when you're having children.

I moved to America and got married within the past year, isn't that enough to keep you all quiet? :lol:

This happens even though I post often to whine that I don't have a job and that we want to get our own place. Do they really think I'm going to bring a baby into this mess? Then again, most of the girls from school are single mothers living on welfare, so they probably think it's no big deal. Wow that sounded bitchy.

Edited by Gemmie, 09 June 2010 - 12:07 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-09 12:06:00
CanadaThe Vent Part Quatre
I'm just going to barge in here and pretend I'm a Canuck for a moment. :whistle:

Re: the other thread, Sprail totally did the right thing by refusing to let her old 'friend' stay. I find it funny when old friends assume they can stay with you whenever they want a holiday to the States.

I've also found that friendships have changed over time, and looking at some people I used to be friends with, I'm so glad I moved on. I know I'm still young (in my early 20's) but I just feel there comes a point in life where you realise it's time to move on, and you want something more for yourself. I still keep in contact with some of them - and I write to one of them often (with an actual pen and paper!) but it's obvious that we're now two different people, and that's OK with us both. I'm now married and trying to get my career going... she's still casually seeing the same bad boys, spending her money on partying, and recently failed her final year of college. It's the same with most of my old school friends. Most of them are single mothers living on welfare. We just have nothing in common any more. You know when you bump into an old friend and feel that nothing has changed with them, yet you've grown a lot? I think that's when you need to decide to pull the plug.

Edited by Gemmie, 08 June 2010 - 04:33 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-08 16:31:00
CanadaGot Baby? Avez vous un bebe?
Congrats on your baby girl. :)
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-07-28 14:14:00
CanadaGot Baby? Avez vous un bebe?

For those of us who just got married - do you plan to have children and how long do you think you'll wait?

My plan is to get pregnant in 2013. I want to establish my career here a bit more and also buy a house or at least have 2 bedroom place first.

I am very excited to have babies though. I can't wait!


We got married 4 months ago, and I really want a baby, but 1- hubby wants to have some alone time without the sleepless nights and screaming :P and 2- I'm really trying not to rush into things.

I've wanted a baby with him for the longest time, in fact one of the reasons I married him was because he would make an awesome dad; he's so nurturing and caring. But I realise I only feel like this a lot more lately because there is a "void" in my life since moving to the US. So we're giving it a while to make sure we're ready for it both practically (we're moving out very soon) and mentally (no more date nights whenever we choose, not much alone time, etc). We said we'd give it a few months once we're in our own place, and then about it some more.

Edited by Gemmie, 14 January 2010 - 10:20 AM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-01-14 10:19:00
CanadaGot Baby? Avez vous un bebe?
Yeah, I've read a lot about how different things can affect the birth such as size of mother, size of baby, hip angle, whether you're induced, whether you're anemic... the SIL said she wanted to do it without drugs and when she was around 4cm, she was doing fine, but by 6cm she was screaming for drugs. Her baby was 7lb13 and overdue by 11 days. She also told me to hope for a girl. :huh:

Also read that if you have really bad menstrual cramps, labor might be easier. I'm hoping on that one, because I do get them really bad sometimes (dizziness, nausea, just curling up and unable to move). But as you say, it's different for everyone so I guess it's all speculation and you won't know until the moment. :P And even then, each birth can be different.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-01-13 11:39:00
CanadaGot Baby? Avez vous un bebe?
This topic has terrified me.

I'm not pregnant, but I might be this year, and... OMG. I'm a tiny thing, and my SIL swears I won't be able to handle labour (after she gave birth to my nephew). :(

Edited by Gemmie, 12 January 2010 - 04:08 PM.

GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-01-12 16:07:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General DiscussionFiling For Removal Of Conditions After Spouse's Death
Damian, I've only just read this as I haven't been on here much.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I remember how frustrating and complicated everything was for my dad when he lost my mum... the paperwork is a blur, and you never quite know if you've let the right people know about the passing - plus you're dealing with your own feelings. I can only imagine how you're feeling.

I don't know if there's anything I can offer you, as I don't know too much about immigration after getting the CGC, or about paperwork in the US following a bereavement. But still, if there's anything you can think of, please just let me know. Even if you want me to send out a resume for you in your area and job-field (you're having to quit school?).

My thoughts are with you and your family.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2009-12-21 14:08:00
PhilippinesNeed Some Advice For My Fiancee and I She is 17
I agree that it might be best to wait until she's 18 to start the process, just because of legal issues.

However, I won't judge based on age because I myself am only 21 right now and am going through the K1 process; I began thinking about it when I WAS 18/19. Yes it is hard, but no harder than anyone who is going through it. If you're responsible enough to decide on marriage, then you should be able to handle everything that comes with it, and I can.

Not everyone takes a long time to mature emotionally.

Good luck.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-03 08:11:00
Philippinesafter getting married in the U.S. when can i go back to the PI?
QUOTE
As i read your timeline, you're still in PI but you're already planning to go back? Whew!!!


That's not too strange... I'm still in the UK but like knowing that as soon as I have the money and AP, I can go and visit my family and friends. smile.gif
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-08 07:21:00
Philippineswhat do you do for fun, enjoyment, consume time,while waiting for VISA?
When I left my fiancee in the US, I started a new job working at a cafeteria. It's not great but it pays well and it did help to distract me from missing him everyday.

Now I have some time off so I'm going to see my family and friends... also plan together, when you're next going to see each other and talk about that. Focus on how every day that passes is one more day of waiting for approval or whatever it might be that you're waiting for in the process.

I also focus on taking care of my hamster (she's adorable) and even doing lone activities. Reading, writing, researching for my upcoming school project.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-12 03:46:00
PhilippinesIs it getting old or what ?
QUOTE (jas_noel @ Aug 18 2008, 07:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
that's normal. me and my fiance have been in a relationship for 3 years and 7 mos now and we talk everyday [normally 5x a day (1-2 hours per conversation)]. we normally run out of topic so sometimes it's total silence or we just keep repeating 'i love u' to each other because we have nothing else to talk about. there are instances also when we have we have been talking for hours already then i started asking him stupid questions to make him mad just so we'll have something to talk about but now i stopped doing that because i realized that it's useless to argue over petty stuffs. we are already used to this set up that if we don't talk for a day we tend to miss each other so much. it sounds chessy but it's true. just try to find ways to keep the fire burning even if you are far away from each other.


I can relate to that... we find we have more silly fights when we've been talking for hours and hours... and sometimes we'll actually fight about having nothing to talk about! Because I get frustrated with not being able to have that comfortable silence with him and a hug... and he'll get frustrated that I'm trying to force normal conversation when we've already been talking for hours. laughing.gif It's very normal, and I think it's best to simply go and do something by yourself when you feel yourself get like that. Go read a book or see a friend.
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-18 04:38:00
Philippinesbuying plane tickets in expedia.com
I use Expedia every time... I haven't found a cheaper site!
GemmieFemaleUnited Kingdom2008-08-19 05:18:00