biggish data

Tracy, I love the sound of the Mirena. I've never gotten one because I always knew I wanted a baby in the near future, but would definitely go for it in the future. I teach about birth control for my job, and it's one of the methods that has the least unpleasant side effects.

The reason I asked about telling your boss... there's a sticky situation at work. One of my coworkers recently took a State job as a Therapist and lied in the application, saying she had a degree when she didn't. I went along for the training just in case they needed someone to do extra hours. Well they just busted her lie when she was unable to produce transcripts, and forced her to resign. She said that I will most likely walk into the position as I have the qualifications and am already trained. Thing is, I wouldn't be entitled to a Leave of Absence when I have baby as they require you to be there for a year. So it looks like I would have to tell them about the pregnancy due to that. And then I'm hesitant to tell them I'm pregnant in case they tell my current boss (before I'm 'in the safe zone'). The bosses are all inter-connected. So you see it's a mess. :lol:

It's a real big shame though because this job pays a LOT better and has better benefits.

Empress, it's great that you're so self-aware with the reasons you wanted another kid. A lot of people (in my opinion) yearn for another once the baby reaches toddler age for similar reasons, at least that's what I've witnessed (people are so honest on Facebook- I've seen so many people openly admit they want another baby because #1 or #2 is growing up too much). The Vasectomy is a lot safer and easier to reverse if that decision is ever made.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-30 15:21:00

Re: the caffeine, I have caved a few times, but have done so well. I'm used to having a coffee and 2 cups of tea per day, and I've had two cups of tea in the past week. You guys have made me feel a bit better about that though!

Let us know how her ultrasound goes on Friday. That is such a great turn of events that she happened to be pregnant already. I feel for her though. I've heard a lot of women say that having a pregnancy loss made them want a child even if they didn't want one before. To be fair, getting pregnant at 41 is no easy feat, and she's managed that one big step. Hopefully the baby is developing well, although her mind will probably always be full of anxiety.

I don't have any sickness as of yet (which I'm a bit nervous about) other than feeling a bit sick when I have my chew-able prenatal vitamins- just very tired (going to bed at 8 every night and still tired), feel like I have rocks in my boobs, bloated, and emotional. I remember when my SIL got pregnant and freaked out at me, screaming at me over the phone, and later apologized saying "it's my hormones", thinking 'how bad can they possibly be?'- now I kinda know. I'm pulling moody voices and faces over any little thing. I just feel like I have extreme PMS, but nothing to write home about as far as 'pregnancy symptoms'. But then apparently that's normal too? I hope everything is growing nicely and I'm just lucky.

When did you all tell your boss/es that you were pregnant?

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-29 17:46:00

Never mind, I posted after you, ha.

She is absolutely gorgeous. (L)

I bet she's totally worth the bill! Although that is some CRAZY bill. So you get the bill AFTER delivery, for the prenatal visits? I have pretty good insurance so I'm hoping I'll be really well covered. It's something to ask them about at my first appointment. I'm so glad you had a positive birth experience with a midwife. I know people that said their doctor was away for the delivery and they ended up with a random person and it totally affected the whole thing in a negative way.

When were you planning on another baba?

Edited by Gemmie, 25 August 2012 - 08:27 AM.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-25 08:27:00

Yeah, that's pretty much what I've read from people, regarding midwives vs. doctors. Did you feel that you got more "personal" care from the midwife experience? For example, more time with them, someone to advocate for you, etc.

The cramping that I felt last week has gone now. My symptoms have faded a little bit. Still a bit tired but nothing like last week. I'm now 5 weeks- did anyone else find their symptoms did this?

Trying to get myself healthier. I don't smoke or drink anyway, and I've completely cut out caffeine. I started off by saying I'll have 2 cups of tea per day, as that's within the limit. Then I switched to decaf coffee and decaf coke. And now I'm just having water, milk and orange juice. I am missing my tea, but just want to get the 'OK' from the nurse at my first appointment before I resume my British right.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-24 16:29:00

Yeah, it's great that they do the 8 week ultrasound; she explained the whole thing on the phone to me. She asked if I wanted a doctor or a midwife, and said doctors are for more high risk patients. I said I'd go with midwife unless any complications arose, and she said that's fine. The place I'm going to has an Alternative Birthing Center, a whirlpool tub, offer selective 'gentle C-Section' and the usual hospital options. They pride themselves on the 'whatever the mother wants', which is just what I was looking for.

Apparently miscarriage is a 15% chance before 8 weeks; then if there is a strong heartbeat, a 5% chance; then after 12 weeks, a 2% chance. I know this from my freaking out and obsessing over statistics :lol:

. I know what you mean though, I will try very hard not to go near any of those websites. When we first decided to go for it, I visited some of them for 'TTC Tips' and ended up finding a million posts about people taking Clomid, trying for years and not getting pregnant, using artificial insemination, using cups to 'hold in the sperm', even changing their diets so that they could 'sway' toward a boy or a girl. :unsure:

It would be great to have a forum where people aren't all crazy and obsessed. But then again, I probably fit that right now. Ha!

I wish I had that outlook, Tracy! I'm usually quite relaxed, but my nerves have shot through the roof this past week.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-23 16:06:00

Thanks Kennard.

I know it's really bad to look on the internet for information (mostly) but I am so freaked out about all of the people that seem to have gone to their appointments to find there is no heartbeat, or no baby. I'm starting to obsess. :help:

I have an ultrasound in 3 weeks where they will look at the heartbeat and size of baby, and if all is OK, I'll meet with a midwife a week later to do the rest of the stuff. Do you ladies know if it's common for this missed miscarriage? I'm reading that it occurs in 10-25% of pregnancies, and it's scaring me to death. I'm analyzing every twinge or 'feeling un-pregnant' that I can.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-22 19:07:00

Thank you for your soothing words!

At this point, I'm just trying not to get too excited (although can't help it) as it's so early. Everything I read online seems to end in miscarriage, so trying to stay away. :whistle:

In the process of setting up my first appointments- apparently I have to wait until I'm at least 8 weeks, which feels like a lifetime away. I've actually never as much had a Pap test (I know, that's terrible, but in my defense the UK has a 25 year old age threshold, and then I just never bothered since moving here- I don't even have a PCP!) but I've found somewhere that deals with just OB/GYN care and a hospital purely for women to deliver.

So far, my symptoms are mostly fatigue (I'm so tired, yet somehow have insomnia), breast pain, and getting little niggly cramps now and then in my lower tummy. My coworker saw me today and asked "what is wrong with you?"- apparently I look as exhausted as I feel. :lol:

I'm thankful to have a place where I can discuss stuff here! My husband is so happy- he doesn't even seem to have a worry in his head.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-20 17:30:00

Thank you.

It's still surreal to me. It was planned, but I honestly thought it would take a long time (I've always been so thin, and I also have an irregular cycle), and this was the first cycle! I was due to get my period some time soon, so thought 'I'll just test to get it out of the way, and then we'll try again next cycle' and was in complete denial when I got the positives. I've taken 5 tests and I still think they're lying, LOL.

I'm just terrified because it's become real. I suddenly have loads of worries (practical worries, miscarriage worries, telling people worries, childbirth worries), but as time goes on, I am feeling more and more excited.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-19 07:40:00

I guess I should post it in here. I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant (took a couple tests and got a faint line so went and got a digital one and it told me flat-out). I think I'm about 4 weeks, so it's still very early. I've only told my two best friends and am not telling anyone else unless we make it to the Second Trimester. So keep it off Facebook for now please

I am terrified, LOL

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2012-08-18 08:02:00

Robin, I apologise in advance if you wanted to stay clear of patronising "advice", but have you tried the Fertility and Ovulation kits at stores like CVS? They can give you a predictor of the amount of decent eggs you have and also the time you ovulate each cycle. It might be that you're not ovulating (which I've read a lot, this can happen for different reasons), or that you're ovulating at a different time than you originally thought, especially if your cycle is longer or irregular.

This is going to sound completely weird, as I'm in my 20's, but I've tried the fertility kit and it did put me at ease a little. (When I was a teenager, I went through a period (no pun intended) for a few years where I thought I would never be able to have kids, which upset me a lot because I've always wanted them, but later found out that the problem wasn't there. Because of this uncertainty and fear I had in my teenage years, I think about pregnancy quite a lot, and sometimes I panic that there will be a different problem so I get afraid to get my hopes up).

You've probably already tried that, as well as the books on conception, but I would say those are the first steps before trying something like a doctor, if you do decide you want to go for it. I can totally understand not wanting that crushing feeling of finding out it's not possible as it's a horrible feeling, but I wonder if you'll have more regrets not totally giving it everything.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2011-01-16 09:35:00

Congratulations to you both!!

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-12-18 10:33:00

Congrats Mrs Groovy!

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-11-01 09:58:00

Me either. I'm so glad she's here though, she must be over the moon.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-10-29 10:23:00

I hear it feels like period pains at the beginning, so it could well be it.

Good luck!!

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-10-26 11:29:00

I know you probably hear a lot of these " MY experience was.." type of stories, Joyce, but my SIL was told the same thing about her baby being breech and needing to turn or she'd be in for a C-section. And he finally did within the last week or two, and I've heard the same happen with others. Fingers crossed.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-09-13 11:33:00

I agree.

Little Nich is making me BROOOOODY.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-09-11 12:37:00

He's gorgeous, Lisa. Well done. I know you didn't really have a choice, but you're so brave for putting up with the contractions for so long. I would've opted for the C too.

Have a speedy recovery!

Edited by Gemmie, 10 September 2010 - 10:39 AM.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-09-10 10:39:00

I'm really surprised how your MIL is acting. Do you have any idea why? It sounds like you all get on pretty well, I thought she'd be delighted to take part in caring for her grandchild and fussing over her.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-08-19 09:55:00

Normally I probably just would have snickered. I guess the difference is that now I laugh continually until I close the page. And then I open it again to see if it's still funny, which it is. And then feel a little guilty.

I can just picture you laughing like a mad woman whenever you re-open the page.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-08-19 09:31:00

CUTE pics!

Thanks for the replies girls, I've decided to apply to one or two grad schools and see how I feel if they accept me around April. Chances are though, if we're in a place of stability at that time, we'll stay in MA and start trying, and return to the idea of grad school when the baby's older.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-08-02 11:04:00

Did you use daycare, Jewel?

I never wanted to put my child in daycare (especially from 8 weeks!) but it seems that lots of working mothers have no choice, especially if she's single or her partner is working full-time too.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-07-30 10:48:00

A question to you mummies/mummies to be:

Am I completely insane for wanting to have a baby whilst studying for a PhD? Originally we were planning on having one in a couple of years, but now after lots of thought and advice, I'm considering going to grad school.

Only problem is that it's a 5 year course. Apparently it's all down to the supervisors if they'll allow you to have time off for maternity, but most will let you have 8 weeks and if you need longer, you need to prove you can work at the same time. I know it's completely time consuming to have a newborn, and my husband has taken on a lot of responsibility by committing to changing work hours and caring for the baby whenever I'm working. I also know it's tiring to be CARRYING one for 9 months.

We've discussed it a lot. First and foremost, my values are with family rather than career. I love psychology, and would love to pursue this - but if it comes down to it, I would much rather have a job where I'm less involved but able to have a family, and then go back to this idea in the future when Baby is in school. I am fairly young (24 by time of starting PhD) but we've been wanting to start a family in the next couple of years for a while. By the time I finish my course (if I choose to do so), I'll be nearing 30, and then job contracts are 2-year positions so taking time out there is questionable.

Can it be done? All input appreciated.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-07-30 10:36:00

Maven, that's so cute. I can knit too, but only in straight lines at the moment. :unsure:

You get a scarf or nothing at all!

Here's my best friend modeling a scarf I made her:

Posted Image

Yes, in a posh British tea room.

Julian would be proud. Sorry to butt in, BabyBunch.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-06-17 14:30:00

I'm not even sure I want my husband to see that (when the crowning and all that ####### happens). He may never view me the same way again! LOL

We've already discussed it, head-side only! :thumbs:

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-06-17 13:17:00

My high-school friend (that lost her premature twin girls) knows of others that have been born as early as 24 weeks and go on to be healthy children. Obviously there can be complications, and the babies are TINY, but a happy ending can happen with preemies. My husband was also a month early, and he's... fine... :unsure:

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-06-15 16:03:00

People have given you great advice about your issues. YOU are the one that is victimizing yourself. USCIS are not doing that to you, they haven't even gotten to your case yet. Furthermore, there are several people that have had similar issues to you and people have told you that they've been successful. You can't even post a 'thank you' to the people that are trying to help you. You just fixate on another problem and pummel it into your head when it isn't even an issue.

So I'll say this again.

I don't *think* the TB will be a problem. You had it in school, correct? You have no signs currently that will show up on the X-ray. I never had the vaccine at school either and no one looked for needle marks in my arm or asked me about it. But if you're that concerned, speak with a GP.

About the cat, first you need to decide if you want take it with you. You say you have UK relatives that can look after it; do you want that, or do you want it to come? If so, you need to look into what needs to happen by making an appointment with a vet. I know you need to get your cat a "passport", get him/her chipped and get him/her vaccinations. Why are you afraid to check that it's been chipped? There should be advice on all of this in the Pets topic.

And about your medical condition, you need to relax. When you have your medical, they'll ask something along the lines of 'have you been treated for depression/self-harm', to which you answer yes. The doctor will then ask you about it, and you can talk about your condition and perhaps get a letter ready (psychiatric evaluation - don't complain that you have to pay, everyone does) that says you're currently of no harm to yourself or others. The WORST that happens is that they'll deny your visa and you file for a waiver and get that evaluation in.

Edited by Gemmie, 21 June 2010 - 09:53 AM.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-06-21 09:52:00

Chances are, you don't have TB. Otherwise you would know about it. My God.

Is there anything else that you want to make an issue out of? Don't know if you have TB, don't know what to do with your cat, don't know what's on your medical records, don't know how to support without government help... as I said the other day:

People have tried to help you, again and again, but you've never responded to them. All you ever do is re-post why you're so afraid, and defend yourself against accusations that you need to seek help if you continue to act this way.

If you really want your visa, quit acting like a victim, and listen to people that give you advice.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2010-06-20 14:42:00

QUOTE (Ellie-and-David @ May 20 2009, 06:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am happy to report that my Dr was able to confirm something I have known all along.

I am female.

I was delighted at the news also.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2009-05-22 06:51:00

Map B is Knightsbridge.

That's the one I had, it was a piece of cake, don't worry!

Edited by Gemmie, 04 May 2009 - 09:44 PM.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2009-05-04 21:44:00

GIVING MY EXPERIENCE.

Sorry, I'm excited because I've watched this thread for ages and it feels good to finally post and tell my own story.

It all went really really smoothly. We (me and fiancee) arrived at Knightsbridge about 20 minutes early and had to fill out the forms.. went to the waiting room where there was a woman at reception that was very abrupt (i.e. rude) to myself and the other person in the room. Really no need for it seeing as people are already going to be nervous.. she took me to a room and told me that my vaccination record wasn't up to date, which scared me because I had specifically gone to the nurse to have the injections for free a week before. She then told me that I needed the HPV and I said I wanted to wait until I was in the U.S.. she said she would sign me off for that, and told me to go back to the waiting room.

I was then called for my chest X-ray.. the man was very friendly, joked with me about my hair being tied up like a pineapple for the x-ray. While waiting for results, he chatted with me about TB and showed me some pictures online of what it looked like. Told me my lungs were perfectly fine, and asked if I wanted my husband with me whilst I waited for the physical. I told him he isn't my husband, and then heard him go to the waiting room and say "would you like to sit with your wife?" which got a smile out of Bill.

I was then called for my physical exam which I had prepared myself for as being the scariest part. I had a quiet woman with blonde curly hair. She told me to take off my jeans underneath the robe. She then took my height and weight, and did a quick eye test (with glasses on). She asked me a few questions such as having criminal convictions or driving offenses, and if I had any psychological problems.. I said no to all of them, and then she told me to lay on the bed. She checked my breasts (pressing on them, I assume for lumps), heartbeat/pulse, blood pressure, abdomen, took a quick look down my knickers, and then took a blood sample which didn't hurt at all surprisingly. She told me to get dressed and then go back to the waiting room. I breathed a big sigh of relief and went back to Bill who told me how proud he was.

Then came the moment they took the £180 from me, and that hurt. They gave me a copy of something with a list of my vaccinations on and told me to keep it for AOS.

Overall, I couldn't believe how easy it was.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2009-03-11 02:01:00

Where in the UK are you?? (or you other half)

I'm originally from Swindon but now live in Bath 'cause I'm in university.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-02 17:02:00

How did everyone meet?

We met on a forum for wrestling fans... it was in an off-topic thread that Bill popped up with a post directed at me and with a few responses, it took off from there. We added each other on MSN. We talked on there and on the phone for two years before I flew to Boston to meet him in person.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-09 09:40:00

Otherway round

I'm really sorry to hear that.

I was also of the understanding that your past tax returns don't need to pass the threshold, as long as they do NOW. That's why it's fine to be unemployed until the interview where you need to prove your method/s of support.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-10 15:37:00

Please help... I am so confused

That was the deciding factor with me also.

After five and a half years of long distance communication and visits for short periods, I can't handle it anymore, and the thought of having to do it after being married is even worse to me.

The K1 is the quickest route for me and if there are no glitches, I can be in the US planning my wedding by this time next year. WITH my love.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-08 17:27:00

Please help... I am so confused

Just to chime in here, I was originally in the same boat as you were. It's all very confusing when you start out but it all becomes clear once you decide which route you want to take.

Our wedding is also being planned for summer 2009.

I DID want the same as you; to get married here and then move to the US. However, I would much rather apply for the one fiance visa (K1) and do it all right away without having to worry about being apart after marriage. So: How about applying for the K1, getting married in the US and having your friends and family attend the wedding too? That is our current plan, as long as people can get the time off work.

Then they can go back to the UK and you can apply to adjust your status and stay with your new husband.

Of course, it all varies on the individual and there are a few options available to you.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-08 16:53:00

Another "jumping ahead" question

Oh, I see! Thank you!

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-26 05:43:00

Another "jumping ahead" question

About the police certificate from each place you've lived in since the age of 16;

I've lived in two towns (Swindon and Bath, though Bath is just for university) so do I need to get one from both towns and do I have to pay £35 for each?

Thanks.

Edited by Gemmie, 26 July 2008 - 05:29 AM.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-26 05:29:00

Quick question

The chart says unavailable in the UK so the embassy shouldn't see it as a problem.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-25 17:59:00

Quick question

Thank you very much.

I had MMR when I was a child and a Tetanus when I was around 14/15 so I might not need them again.

Gemmie

Female

United Kingdom

2008-07-24 11:50:00