ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionNeed a postive, informative but urgent reply
QUOTE (pushbrk @ Dec 7 2008, 06:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (rebeccajo @ Dec 7 2008, 03:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I also idly note that in today's day and age, if the visa applicant can manage to get his hands on a 'copy' of his police certificate, he can likely come to the interview with the original. Federal Express is global, you know. And copies can be forgeries of originals. If you want to continue to spar with speculations and opinions, then I will offer that were I a CO and someone showed me a copy instead of an original, I would look unfavorably on that.


I would look unfavorably on it too in that the visa would not be granted until I saw the correct document but not as unfavorably as I would look upon his not showing me anything after signing a statement saying he had the document in his possession. In other words, I wouldn't be as likely to conclude he was a liar.


I already know what one of my students would say...

"Oh, I'm sorry Doctor A, FedEx is SOOOO expensive and the instructions did not say that I had to supply an ORIGINAL, so I had my brother scan this and email it to me. I'll get that original document to you as soon as possible..."

And I would sigh, and say, "OK, get it in ASAP."

And before the next term I would fix the instructions to state, "ORIGINAL".
toma1MaleThailand2008-12-07 18:47:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionNeed a postive, informative but urgent reply
I'm a professor, and I've been grading my MBA students' papers today. A couple of them did not follow some basic written directions that were passed out at the beginning of the term. They had several months to make sure that they followed these instructions, so I do not look favorably on papers that have not followed the guidelines. When I see that they did not do so, I deduct points for the omission. BUT... I also tend to give those papers A LOT MORE SCRUTINY to see what else they might have been sloppy about. For example, I don't check every budget figure in every paper, but on these papers I DO. If I find enough problems with a paper, a failing grade will be assigned. In addition, if I find that (even minor) cheating was involved, a failing grade will be assigned regardless of he quality of the paper.

So my question is... am I being too harsh on my students?

Oh... this is an immigration forum. I apologize for the off topic post. whistling.gif

Edited by toma1, 07 December 2008 - 06:13 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2008-12-07 18:09:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionNeed a postive, informative but urgent reply
QUOTE (pushbrk @ Dec 7 2008, 02:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
On the contrary, in my opinion and my opinion is what I am expressing, there is substantial anecdotal evidence the OP needs to be concerned about having lied to an immigration official in writing.

At the moment, they are asking for a document but before he gets a visa he has to pass an interview in which the CO will become aware he lied once already. This is a visa process not a document submission process.


This is why showing up with a copy may be the best course of action. Packet 3 does not technically say that to police cert cannot be a copy.
toma1MaleThailand2008-12-07 15:07:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionNeed a postive, informative but urgent reply
QUOTE (Karin und Otto @ Dec 7 2008, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
he's Pakistani in UK on student visa


WooooW... I wouldn't want to create even the tiniest ripple of doubt in that embassy.

I can't believe the other poster insinuated that this was a skin color issue originating in the members of this board. It may be a country of origin issue, but even then, it is not the posters here that made it that way.
toma1MaleThailand2008-12-07 14:43:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionI-134 Affidavit of Support

Yes, your Father can be your co-sponsor. That will resolve the I-134 financial support issues.



If my father is a co-sponsor, do we each submit separate I-134 forms?
aitianMaleThailand2007-01-15 10:20:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionI-134 Affidavit of Support
I am the petitioner but am not sure if I will qualify. I live in Thailand and will be moving back in August, hopefully with my fiance, to begin a Ph.D. program. I will receive a stipend of around 20k a year, but it is not a normal job I can produce a letter from a supervisor for, so I am afraid it will not suffice. I also have been studying in Thailand so I don't have any former employment either. The only documents I can supply is the contract from the school for the stipend and a letter from my bank stating that I've had around 20k in the past year deposited.

I was wondering if I can have my father submit an I-134 too, in case mine is not good enough. He has enough money and can guarantee to provide financial support if we come under financial hard times. Will this be alright?
aitianMaleThailand2007-01-15 07:10:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionVaccinations
I'm in BKK and am not sure if my fiancee has had any of these shots yet. If she hasn't, will she have to have multiple rounds of shots? If so, should she start getting the shots soon, so she won't have to wait later when it is time to get her physical done or can everything be done at once with the physical?

Thanks
aitianMaleThailand2007-02-02 07:13:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussionadd documnet K1 , embassy said wait for 1-2 weeks
Dear All Friends ,

Hi How are you ? I hope you're doing well ,

I has interviewed on 08Jan'08 ( But my boyfriend's document are not ready yet ) and I went to U.S Embassy in Bangkok , to add my boyfriend's documents ,
1.Tax Return
2.I-134
3.Company letter
4.Divorce Decree
5.His passport copy ( every pages )

The officer at embassy Door 5 , get my all documents with passport and ask my phone number ,and said that wait for 1-2 weeks and officer will call me back ,

I was talked with other friend , that she went to embassy to add documents for co-sponser on 17Mar'08 and embassy told her to get back to embassy again on 24Mar'08 but when she get back embassy said that her case it's not ready yet , just need to wait for them calling her back , after that she went to embassy again on 17,18,21April'08 but still nothing news yet,

But I have my friend who work at embassy , she said that the people has the different case / different documents , just wait until embassy call me back ,

Anyone can advise me that my case should be need to wait like my friend (wait for 1 month more)

Best Regards ,
Kate
Sirikun K.Female02008-04-23 03:03:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresK3 visa
Hi, I am a new member. I got married in Thailand last month and my husband will get the K3 visa in USA . I would like to know long dose it take the K3 visa? Thank you.
AeandLukeFemaleThailand2009-03-05 00:26:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHelp please
Hi
Our I130 was approved last week before we were able to send the I129F. What comes up next and should we still send the I129F?
Thanks
AeandLuke

AeandLukeFemaleThailand2009-03-25 06:05:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhat's a CR1 visa?
We filled an I130 that has been approved (I797). Is the next step a letter from NVC and will that be sent to Thailand or here in the US?
After that's done, will we have an option to pick a visa like a CR1 or a K3?
Kind regards
AeandLuke
AeandLukeFemaleThailand2009-04-08 09:29:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresDS3032
QUOTE (queuedup @ Apr 9 2009, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You cannot email documents back to NVC, as they require signed documents. What you can do with the DS-3032 is look at the following link, and use the email guide to submit the choice of agent via the email template.

http://www.visajourn...il_DS-3032_form

In the meantime, wait for the DS-3032 form to arrive in your TX address, scan it, and email it to your wife, and then have her mail it back to NVC.

Good Luck!!


Thanks a lot. I guess we can also print the pdf email NVC sent us and send it back to them. We will do FeDex on Monday
Regards
Aeandluke
AeandLukeFemaleThailand2009-04-09 20:37:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresDS3032
Yesterday I was able to talk to an NVC officer. I was told they had just mailed and my wife at her Bangkok address and me a letter. Since the letter was sent regular mail to BKK, she will probably never receive it. It’s a good thing I will have one in TX too kicking.gif .
The officer told me they do not send registered mail. The officer was very kind and asked me for my email address.
That night I was emailed the DS3032. I would like to email it back; however, I have been unable to type any info on their form. I also downloaded a DS3032 only to find out data cannot be saved on the form.
I have been reading about people emailing the DS3032 and would like any tips on how to do it
Thanks

AeandLukeFemaleThailand2009-04-09 15:58:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBangkok Embassy Packet 3 Content

So, what is the latest consensus on the list of documents to be send back to Bangkok Embassy in respond to Packet 3? From all the reading I have the following:

1. DS 230 Part 1
2. DS 156 Online version with bar code
3. DS 156K
4. Two photographs (2'x2')
5. Copy of the passport
6. Check list.

Did I miss anything?

I know that she will need much more documents to the interview.

TIA



Hello People:

We just got our K1-Fiance Visa approved! at the US Embassy in Bangkok. I studied and read this web site for many hours before and the many experiences. It gave me some insight and helped in our progress. So now, just for good luck, and for good Karma, I will put some advice on the board:

#1. Make sure that your Thai finance’s Birth Certificate and House Residence paper be translated and “stamped certified” by Thai immigration. I read on this website someone wrote that the translation is only needed for when you get to the US, that the translation can be done in the usa, that all you need for the interview is the originals.>That’s wrong! Yes you need the originals and you need to get it translated now, before the interview. Also get it stamped by the Thai Govt. Have the translated copies ready for the Thai woman who screens all paper work, before you get to the American who will interview your fiancé. My girlfriend did it the day before the interview, by luck we got it done, because we found out from the translation store across from the consulate at the last minute that it is needed. That Thai woman at window 5 was ready to reject us because she thought we didn’t have them.

#2. The DS-156 must be filled out online on the US govt. website. Their not going to take handwritten filled forms. Even though the form says type or print, they wanted it typed on the website and then printed out with the barcode. You must have the barcode! You see I made the mistake of just printing out the form out from the US govt. website, then we filled it out by hand, with black ink pen. -Wrong! If you do this they are going to make you go to the two computers inside the consulate, go back to the website, fill out all the information online, then press “continue” and it will check it, and then print it out. This delayed us for almost 2 hours. First of all there are two computers set up like ATM’s inside the consulate. It takes about 30 minutes to enter all the info again, so you have to wait on line for the people in front of you. Each person takes about 30 minutes, so if there are 1 or 2 people in front of you, you might be waiting more than an hour to use the computer. Many Thai people can’t read the English or don’t know how to use the computer so there are delays. The Chinese woman next to me said she had no idea you got to fill out this form online; neither did I. It was not clear in the instructions. Because they send the old DS-156 form to you with package 3, then there is a letter that tells you that you got to go to the website and print out the new form, but it is not so clear in saying that you got to fill out the form on line before you print it out. So I would suggest that you fill out the info online at home in comfort on your computer.
PS – I read on the Thailand thread on this website that someone wrote you don’t really need the barcode, that the Thai women just rips that last page off. -That’s wrong! You need that bar code and its got to be all filled out.

#3 You need to have the Affidavit of support notarized, if you’re outside the US no problem. The consulate will do it for you. It costs $30.dollars. Make sure you bring some money. I saw a lady who didn’t come with enough money to get her notary so she had to go back to her hotel, but the consulate closes at 2pm. I was going to get my W-2 tax forms notarized, but the woman at the window said its not really necessary at this embassy, she says she never sees that request, each stamp would have been $30. Dollars! 3 US tax forms would have been almost $100. Dollars!

#4. You need to go to the post office across the street from the consulate, behind the Sidhorn building to pay $100. dollars in order to pay for your K-1 Visa. You cannot pay for your K-1 at the consulate. Just go into the post office and tell them you need to pay K-1 Visa American Embassy, they will understand, they will give you a receipt. I paid with Thai Baht. 3600 baht. You might want to do that before you go in for the interview. Otherwise your going to have to go back out, climb stairs over the walkway bridge over the street, then go back, in through security again. Bring money or you will have to search for an ATM. I paid almost $200. dollars for my petition, so I thought that covered the Visa too, not so, the visa is extra, that is separate from the petition costs. The consulate is a different US dept. than the dept. in the US.

#5 The people at the US embassy do have a human side to them. Its not like they are robots with no hearts. They are not looking to knock you down and reject people. They are not overly obsessive with details that would make it almost impossible for anyone to get a Visa. There was a sense of fairness during the whole process. We were there for about 4 hours total.

OK, BROTHERS AND SISTERS! I HOPE THIS HELPS SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE.

PEACE AND LOVE

ANDREW
nycandrewusaMaleThailand2007-06-08 06:18:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionK-1 Thailand
Hello People:

We just got our K1-Fiance Visa approved! at the US Embassy in Bangkok. I studied and read this web site for many hours before and the many experiences. It gave me some insight and helped in our progress. So now, just for good luck, and for good Karma, I will put some advice on the board:

#1. Make sure that your Thai finance’s Birth Certificate and House Residence paper be translated and “stamped certified” by Thai immigration. I read on this website someone wrote that the translation is only needed for when you get to the US, that the translation can be done in the usa, that all you need for the interview is the originals.>That’s wrong! Yes you need the originals and you need to get it translated now, before the interview. Also get it stamped by the Thai Govt. Have the translated copies ready for the Thai woman who screens all paper work, before you get to the American who will interview your fiancé. My girlfriend did it the day before the interview, by luck we got it done, because we found out from the translation store across from the consulate at the last minute that it is needed. That Thai woman at window 5 was ready to reject us because she thought we didn’t have them.

#2. The DS-156 must be filled out online on the US govt. website. Their not going to take handwritten filled forms. Even though the form says type or print, they wanted it typed on the website and then printed out with the barcode. You must have the barcode! You see I made the mistake of just printing out the form out from the US govt. website, then we filled it out by hand, with black ink pen. -Wrong! If you do this they are going to make you go to the two computers inside the consulate, go back to the website, fill out all the information online, then press “continue” and it will check it, and then print it out. This delayed us for almost 2 hours. First of all there are two computers set up like ATM’s inside the consulate. It takes about 30 minutes to enter all the info again, so you have to wait on line for the people in front of you. Each person takes about 30 minutes, so if there are 1 or 2 people in front of you, you might be waiting more than an hour to use the computer. Many Thai people can’t read the English or don’t know how to use the computer so there are delays. The Chinese woman next to me said she had no idea you got to fill out this form online; neither did I. It was not clear in the instructions. Because they send the old DS-156 form to you with package 3, then there is a letter that tells you that you got to go to the website and print out the new form, but it is not so clear in saying that you got to fill out the form on line before you print it out. So I would suggest that you fill out the info online at home in comfort on your computer.
PS – I read on the Thailand thread on this website that someone wrote you don’t really need the barcode, that the Thai women just rips that last page off. -That’s wrong! You need that bar code and its got to be all filled out.

#3 You need to have the Affidavit of support notarized, if you’re outside the US no problem. The consulate will do it for you. It costs $30.dollars. Make sure you bring some money. I saw a lady who didn’t come with enough money to get her notary so she had to go back to her hotel, but the consulate closes at 2pm. I was going to get my W-2 tax forms notarized, but the woman at the window said its not really necessary at this embassy, she says she never sees that request, each stamp would have been $30. Dollars! 3 US tax forms would have been almost $100. Dollars!

#4. You need to go to the post office across the street from the consulate, behind the Sidhorn building to pay $100. dollars in order to pay for your K-1 Visa. You cannot pay for your K-1 at the consulate. Just go into the post office and tell them you need to pay K-1 Visa American Embassy, they will understand, they will give you a receipt. I paid with Thai Baht. 3600 baht. You might want to do that before you go in for the interview. Otherwise your going to have to go back out, climb stairs over the walkway bridge over the street, then go back, in through security again. Bring money or you will have to search for an ATM. I paid almost $200. dollars for my petition, so I thought that covered the Visa too, not so, the visa is extra, that is separate from the petition costs. The consulate is a different US dept. than the dept. in the US.

#5 The people at the US embassy do have a human side to them. Its not like they are robots with no hearts. They are not looking to knock you down and reject people. They are not overly obsessive with details that would make it almost impossible for anyone to get a Visa. There was a sense of fairness during the whole process. We were there for about 4 hours total.

OK, BROTHERS AND SISTERS! I HOPE THIS HELPS SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE.

PEACE AND LOVE

ANDREW
nycandrewusaMaleThailand2007-06-08 06:36:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionK-1 Thailand
Hello People:

We just got our K1-Fiance Visa approved! at the US Embassy in Bangkok. I studied and read this web site for many hours before and the many experiences. It gave me some insight and helped in our progress. So now, just for good luck, and for good Karma, I will put some advice on the board:

#1. Make sure that your Thai finance’s Birth Certificate and House Residence paper be translated and “stamped certified” by Thai immigration. I read on this website someone wrote that the translation is only needed for when you get to the US, that the translation can be done in the usa, that all you need for the interview is the originals.>That’s wrong! Yes you need the originals and you need to get it translated now, before the interview. Also get it stamped by the Thai Govt. Have the translated copies ready for the Thai woman who screens all paper work, before you get to the American who will interview your fiancé. My girlfriend did it the day before the interview, by luck we got it done, because we found out from the translation store across from the consulate at the last minute that it is needed. That Thai woman at window 5 was ready to reject us because she thought we didn’t have them.

#2. The DS-156 must be filled out online on the US govt. website. Their not going to take handwritten filled forms. Even though the form says type or print, they wanted it typed on the website and then printed out with the barcode. You must have the barcode! You see I made the mistake of just printing out the form out from the US govt. website, then we filled it out by hand, with black ink pen. -Wrong! If you do this they are going to make you go to the two computers inside the consulate, go back to the website, fill out all the information online, then press “continue” and it will check it, and then print it out. This delayed us for almost 2 hours. First of all there are two computers set up like ATM’s inside the consulate. It takes about 30 minutes to enter all the info again, so you have to wait on line for the people in front of you. Each person takes about 30 minutes, so if there are 1 or 2 people in front of you, you might be waiting more than an hour to use the computer. Many Thai people can’t read the English or don’t know how to use the computer so there are delays. The Chinese woman next to me said she had no idea you got to fill out this form online; neither did I. It was not clear in the instructions. Because they send the old DS-156 form to you with package 3, then there is a letter that tells you that you got to go to the website and print out the new form, but it is not so clear in saying that you got to fill out the form on line before you print it out. So I would suggest that you fill out the info online at home in comfort on your computer.
PS – I read on the Thailand thread on this website that someone wrote you don’t really need the barcode, that the Thai women just rips that last page off. -That’s wrong! You need that bar code and its got to be all filled out.

#3 You need to have the Affidavit of support notarized, if you’re outside the US no problem. The consulate will do it for you. It costs $30.dollars. Make sure you bring some money. I saw a lady who didn’t come with enough money to get her notary so she had to go back to her hotel, but the consulate closes at 2pm. I was going to get my W-2 tax forms notarized, but the woman at the window said its not really necessary at this embassy, she says she never sees that request, each stamp would have been $30. Dollars! 3 US tax forms would have been almost $100. Dollars!

#4. You need to go to the post office across the street from the consulate, behind the Sidhorn building to pay $100. dollars in order to pay for your K-1 Visa. You cannot pay for your K-1 at the consulate. Just go into the post office and tell them you need to pay K-1 Visa American Embassy, they will understand, they will give you a receipt. I paid with Thai Baht. 3600 baht. You might want to do that before you go in for the interview. Otherwise your going to have to go back out, climb stairs over the walkway bridge over the street, then go back, in through security again. Bring money or you will have to search for an ATM. I paid almost $200. dollars for my petition, so I thought that covered the Visa too, not so, the visa is extra, that is separate from the petition costs. The consulate is a different US dept. than the dept. in the US.

#5 The people at the US embassy do have a human side to them. Its not like they are robots with no hearts. They are not looking to knock you down and reject people. They are not overly obsessive with details that would make it almost impossible for anyone to get a Visa. There was a sense of fairness during the whole process. We were there for about 4 hours total.

OK, BROTHERS AND SISTERS! I HOPE THIS HELPS SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE.

PEACE AND LOVE

ANDREW
nycandrewusaMaleThailand2007-06-08 06:30:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (steve55 @ Oct 16 2009, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ill strongly disagree with Toma 1 in regards to saying most foreign ladies are as materialitic as American woman are.


I think I said that "I am not convinced." I hear your assertion quite often, but I have not seen enough evidence to convince me that it is true. As far as I can tell, there hasn't been a controlled study on the issue. I see anecdotes, as you have posted, but for every story that that supports your conclusion, another story contradicts it. See here for example:
http://www.dragonladies.org/

Personally, I've never noticed a difference in Asian versus Western women on this issue, but my salary has been relatively high since I graduated, so that doesn't mean very much.

My ex- (American) ended up marrying a guy who works at Walmart for love and religion. (We had serious religious differences, and he is as religious as she is.) Her standard of living is not great, so her story definitely detracts from your hypothesis. I've known both Asian and American women that married for money. (And vice-versa, obviously.)

I'm willing to see the evidence, if you have it, but anecdotes get us nowhere. This actually reminds me of that Christian v. Muslim thread in the off-topic section wherein the Christian group posts a motley collection of nasty verses from the Koran and the Muslims counter with equally nasty verses from the Bible, none of which proves anything.

Edited by toma1, 16 October 2009 - 08:18 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-16 20:13:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 14 2009, 02:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
just another day in Florida rush hour tongue.gif



Ya... except for the traffic. The average speed on that bridge must approach 90 mph on a normal day.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-14 13:52:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (toma1 @ Oct 12 2009, 08:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(Typed on my iPhone while sitting in a horrible traffic jam.)


Traffic jam ended up being a bridge jumper on the Skyway. He jumped... fishermen recovered the body. Before he jumped, he set his car on fire. Once the police put out the fire, the police opened the trunk and found a body inside. Turned out to be his ex. What a psycho.

http://www.tampabay....suicide/1043633

Edited by toma1, 13 October 2009 - 08:35 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-13 20:34:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 12 2009, 07:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think people should marry whoever the hell they want for whatever reason without having to justify it, if both people are happy.

However, if I was lovely young non-American woman getting hitched to an American guy, I'd find it really depressing and little bit screwed up to find our relationship described vis à vis his attitudes toward American women and that my national origin was some kind of "trait". Just my 2 cents.


Interesting perspective, however in my experience your fears are unfounded. "Do you like [Thai, Chinese, Korean, Malay, Indonesian] girls?" ("girls" is their term) is a question that single Western guys hear from women (sometimes in a matchmaking role) in those countries on a regular basis. It is definitely true that what we call "politically correct speech" does not exist in Asia in the sense that it exists here. (There are things that remain unspoken, but they are different things.)

I don't think it's THAT strange. Some guys like an Asian look... some women like French guys. Do you think that offends any Frenchmen?

(Typed on my iPhone while sitting in a horrible traffic jam.)
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-12 19:10:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 12 2009, 06:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think you will find a lot of american women who are not bimbos married to powerful, successful men much older than they are.

the argument that gets put forward in these types threads is that when an American woman does this they "only care about money" while the morally correct virtuous Asian women "don't care about money"


my point is that Wendy Deng didn't marry someone less successful than she was - she didn't exactly hook up with joe six pack from Des Moines did she?


Exactly right.

I'm not convinced that Western women are more likely to marry for money than Eastern women, and as you pointed out before, I never said that. (Though I do think that women overall are more likely to marry for money than men and that men overall are more likely to marry for beauty.) I do think that Western women are more age sensitive than Eastern women, but I cannot say by how much. I'll bet, however, that the difference is statistically significant even after controlling for the money/poverty issues that we have discussed. I will add that I am certain that Western MEN are even MORE age sensitive than Western women, by the way.

Finally, I have no issue with or criticism for ANY of the above so long as both parties are happy with the result.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-12 18:06:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 12 2009, 05:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think you're really missing the point


My point is that I think she married him because he was interesting, successful (which is not limited to wealth alone), powerful and that they enjoyed working and perhaps playing (e.g. recreation, travel, whatever they do for fun) together and that she obviously did not care about his age or his wealth alone. I believe that Western women would have tended to give his age more weight in the decision--not all of them, of course, but more of them in general.

You apparently think otherwise, but I'm not certain, given that your prior post simply added more evidence for the above.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-12 17:02:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 12 2009, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
-she was the president of Star TV when they married
-she didn't give her career up after marriage to sit at home


I find it strange that you would bring up those two points as BOTH are stronger evidence that she DID NOT marry him for his money than they are that she did. "Duh."

QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 12 2009, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I doubt Wendy Deng married Rupert because of his good looks and to enjoy life's simple pleasures together.


So in your mind, the only reasons for marrying someone that are worth mentioning--other than money--are "looks" and "life's simple pleasures"?

Interesting. I guess I have nothing to add in reply at this time.


toma1MaleThailand2009-10-12 16:32:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 11:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (toma1 @ Oct 11 2009, 09:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 08:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"


Also, keep in mind that I didn't post that to demonstrate marrying up or down. I was posting it to illustrate that certain groups of Asian women are more likely than other groups to marry someone that is substantially older than them regardless of financial need.



I'm sure you'll find a group of similar Americans.....money is more important than age for some


sigh... The point is that they were ALREADY rich and therefore money was unlikely to have been an issue.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-12 04:03:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 11:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
and you understood that when trying to counter stereotypes about "filipinas"

I've lived in Asia....have you?


It is a stereotype that is widely held about most Asians.

Lived there?! Zowie! Me too! And, I live there every summer because I'm a professor that teaches courses in international business and culture at universities in China and Thailand as well as at here in the states. And I run Asian study abroad programs for American students in China (including Hong Kong & Macau), Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia. My teaching assignment next summer is for the Thai Chamber of Commerce in Bangkok. Our study abroad program will be "International Organizations and Society" which will focus on the management of international NGOs and non-profits in Thailand and Cambodia.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-12 03:48:00
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QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 08:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"


Also, keep in mind that I didn't post that to demonstrate marrying up or down. I was posting it to illustrate that certain groups of Asian women are more likely than other groups to marry someone that is substantially older than them regardless of financial need.

Edited by toma1, 11 October 2009 - 09:46 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-11 21:45:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 08:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm aware of it although you were the one that made the leap from the Philippines to China and Korea (apparently). I wasn't familiar with Chun and Lee so forgive me for not bothering to look it up on Wikipedia. Wendy Deng is an American citizen by the way. All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"


I didn't expect you to know them, however when referring to Asians as a racial or geographic group, especially when you are not sure of nationality, "Asian" is greatly preferred to "Chinese", which will be considered an insult to some groups if you get it wrong, especially South Koreans. Fortunately, Asians--as a whole--seem to be the most forgiving group of such mistakes that I have encountered, and are the least likely to bring it to your attention. (Which doesn't mean they aren't offended; it just means that they won't risk embarrassing you.)

Deng is a Chinese born and raised, naturalized US citizen. She didn't naturalize (by marriage) until she was 23, so it's fair to assume that her values are more Chinese than American.

They didn't marry down, but they didn't marry up either--with the exception of Deng (a millionaire who married a billionaire, so it barely counts). Anyway, yeah, I've got no problem with "success" (financial or otherwise) as one criteria for selecting a mate. Hopefully it is not the SOLE criteria, though (a la Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall). But surely Marshall knew the score, right? I mean 63-year age difference? dry.gif If he knew what the deal was, then who am I to judge how he spent his money. He could have done worse... I suppose.

QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 08:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read an interesting statistic recently that even though the number of Americans (men and women) who are clinically obese has increased threefold since the late 80s, the number who thought they were fat declined 5%


That's hilarious! And not surprising...

Edited by toma1, 11 October 2009 - 09:35 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-11 21:31:00
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QUOTE (Old Dominion @ Oct 10 2009, 07:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Steve must be hanging around Wal-Mart too much.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

That said, I wish him good luck. He shouldn't need to defend his choice of women -- evaluating the probabilities and going ahead to find the spouse he wants. The probability for many is that a Filipina would be a perfect match -- the search entails locating the really honest ones who aren't in it for the green card and cash to send back home.



Speaking of Walmart, did you know that they size everything THREE sizes too big?

I had to find a pair of shorts and a t-shirt when I was out of town a few weeks ago, and went into a nearby Walmart to see what they might have. I found a decent pair of shorts and grabbed my size--a 32. I tried it on and, I'm not kidding, they fell right to the floor. (And I have a big butt for a guy, too.) I know I'm an exact 32, because I was measured at my tailor in Bangkok two months before and I haven't lost weight since then.

I took the shorts out and asked the fitting room attendant to measure them. Sure enough the diameter was 17.5 inches--they were a 35. I grabbed another pair. Also 35. I went back and grabbed a 30, which fit loosely and ended up buying that. It turns out that the vanity size 30 (which is really a 33) is the smallest size they carry. I asked the clerk if all of the sizes ran that big and she said she got a lot of complaints from customers that they ran too SMALL!!! I told her that next time someone complains she should pull out that tape measure and show them the results.

My wife told me that she's seen Westerners in Bangkok complaining about the sizes being WAY too small and being surprised when the Asian storekeeper pulls out a tape measure and shows them that the sizes are EXACTLY CORRECT. The person that thought that they were a 36 was shocked to learn that he/she was actually a 40.

Certain Americans have become so fat and delusional that manufacturers can't even put the correct size on their clothes. And when something knocks them out of their dream world, they lash out in aggressive defense of their fantasy self-image.

Edited by toma1, 11 October 2009 - 06:24 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-11 18:20:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Trompe le Monde @ Oct 11 2009, 01:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
but I suppose because they are Chinese they are not "materialistic" for marrying a man with more money than they have, but if an American woman did the same they would be.

Most american women don't need a man for financial security either - they are no treated liked second class citizens in their own country (though I'm sure many here probably wish they were - too bad for them it isn't going to go to how it was)


It has nothing to do with them being ASIAN. (Chun and Lee are Korean; there is more than one country on that rather large continent.) They are all wealthy already. Lee in particular is substantially more wealthy than her husband. I don't think anyone accused Leona Helmsley of golddigging when she married Harry either, god rest her evil soul.

That said, I wasn't talking about, nor accusing anyone of golddigging. In fact, I said that I personally DID consider things like education and employment in my decision.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-11 15:07:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (Donna A @ Oct 11 2009, 09:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
uhhh, i would say your pinay wife IS looking for income. anything is better then what they are making there isnt it? $10k of an american income would make them wealthy there.
if they had it so good in the philipines they wouldnt be looking for american men, expecially old fat ones. i think if u open ur eyes, pinays dont date old fat men in their own country either, now do they? unless they are rich old fat men.


Some of the posters here display a touchiness reminiscent of hungover ferrets.

First, Steve used to have his photo posted here and he is neither old nor fat. I'd guess that he is approximately your age.

Second, do you know his fiancee, or do you just assume that she is poor? Do you think that Asians are so stupid as to believe that $10k of an income will make them wealthy when they get here? Perhaps it comes as a surprise to you, but most people in the world know MUCH more about America than Americans know about the world.

How do you explain successful Asian women marrying Western men that are older? (e.g., Wendi Deng, Yale MBA and director of the company that licenses MySpace and Rupert Murdoch [10 year anniversary this year]; Ziyi Zhang of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and financier Vivi Nevo; violinist Jennifer Chun and George Soros; Jay Lee president of By Design LLC and Gustave Lippman; there are many other examples... and see the comments from the female Thai physician above.) These women are certainly not poor, certainly not bimbos, and certainly didn't need the money.
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-11 11:13:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (steve55 @ Oct 11 2009, 01:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How funny. The author is just assuming this is the case. LOL. Perhaps the author is correct, who knows. But the USCIS did its own study and found just the opposite to be true.

http://www.uscis.gov...t_AppendixA.pdf


That's an interesting, balanced article. However, I wouldn't say that it says the opposite, it actually says BOTH. See page 4 for example, "There is no question that many of the alien women who advertise for U.S. husbands are far more interested in gaining permanent residence alien status than in gaining a good marriage."

The big question in both articles, from my perspective is the word "many." Unfortunately it remains undefined in both cases.

Personally, I think your (and I'm using the third person "you" here.) odds are better when you stick to women that are well educated AND successful in their own right. I want to smack myself for saying that because it sounds so classist, but finding a life partner is a decision that you don't want to screw up. When you find a woman that would prefer NOT to leave her country, but will leave it to be with you, marry her. But I think it's playing with fire to marry someone who is desperately poor. You might get lucky, but then again, you might not. I've seen both cases, for sure. It IS just an odds thing, though. I know guys that have married poor girls from the upcountry that are blissfully happy.

See below for some interesting perspectives.


QUOTE (steve55 @ Oct 11 2009, 01:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In this link, the USCIS study revealed :

" Why do foreign women want American husbands? Many sources suggest that these women are searching for a "better life" in terms of socio-economic factors--they do, for the most part, come from places in which jobs and educational opportunities for women are scarce and wages are low. However, when the women themselves are asked this question, the answer generally indicates an attraction to American men (they look like movie stars) and an aversion to native men. Americans, they say, make good husbands while Filipino (Thai/Indonesian/Russian/etc.) men do not. Americans are thought to be faithful to their wives, while the native men are cruel and run around with other women. True or not, this is the perception.



I am friends with A LOT of women (and men, but that doesn't apply here) in Asia and I have asked this question to almost every one of them (including the daughter of the governor of one of the provinces) and that is exactly what they say. In fact, I took my wife's friend to the airport yesterday, (another highly educated Thai and wonderful person), and got the same response:

"I don't date Thai men because they have mistresses. I won't even date a foreigner that has lived in Thailand too long, because they end up thinking they are god and have too many girlfriends."

She told me, "My father has a mistress that lives at our house. My mom just accepts it, but I don't want that."

I also talked with a Thai physician friend that I have (direct quote from email):

"Many of my female Thai patients met their husbands either while he was working there for a western corporation or through matchmaking services. These women are not your bar girls or the girls from Pattaya. The majority of them have a college education and at least one third of them have more advanced degrees. They got tired of being treated like second class citizens and were looking for western husbands who believed in monogamy. As you are aware, Thai culture is very liberal with the men in terms of mistresses and wives but the reverse does not hold true."

"In regards to Thai men. . . well it's hard to understand using western models of thinking. The first point you have to accept is that women are second class citizens in Thailand. . . even highly educated wealthy women from good families. I suppose the biggest difference between western and eastern cultures when it comes to relationships is that sex is not tied to the traditions of romantic love. Love in many cases means that as the man, you provide for the family. . . the primary wife and guarantee the future of the children by the primary wife. . . and then you are free to have whatever other relationships you choose. At least this is the way of upper middle to upper class society. In middle to lower middle class society, there is still some of the same thinking going on. . . the problem is that these men are not always able to meet the first condition (provide for the family) but it doesn't stop them from fooling around anyway.

Of course it's the old double standard. . . Caesar's wife must be above reproach. . . Girls are raised with an extremely strict hand regardless of what class you are from but the boys are allowed to run wild. As a result, you get this extreme dichotomy of men with the Peter Pan syndrome paired with the Wendys who are way too forgiving and tolerant.

I think that is why I see so many upper class Thai women with Westerners. There's been a sort of sexual revolution in the last 30 years resulting in a lost generation of educated independent professional women who are beginnng to demand a more equitable relationship with their partners and can only find it with Western men. I am afraid that no Thai man is going to put up with a female Thai physician who--in his eyes--has outclassed him at every level. On the other hand, every professional Thai man(attorneys, engineers , physicians, etc) will still see her as a female and therefore a second class citizen that can be taken for granted. The only option is to stay single or look outside your culture.

I guess you could say I'm in a very strange position. . .

I can see the entire canvas and even though I look like I belong in the painting, everyone else that is part of the painting feels uneasy with my presence there."

"I am often told by my extended family that it is very unfortunate that I am a girl. . . I should have been born a boy(LOL). I remember a relative saying to my brother(who is an architect in Manhattan) that it would have meant more to the family if he had been the physician. After all, I was just a girl. My brother thought it was a horrible thing to say but I thouhgt it was hysterically funny and so "THAI"

Personally, I don't have a problem dating either western or eastern men but I think most Asian men have a problem with me. When I meet or am introduced to Thai men, I can feel their hackles rising in competition or their complete dismissal of me. It is very odd how they can fully respect you as a physician but dismiss you cavalierly as a woman."

Edited by toma1, 11 October 2009 - 07:43 AM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-11 07:40:00
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QUOTE (Old Dominion @ Oct 10 2009, 07:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Steve must be hanging around Wal-Mart too much.
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/


Love that link... reminds me of the Walmart nearby after 10PM.



QUOTE (Old Dominion @ Oct 10 2009, 07:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That said, I wish him good luck. He shouldn't need to defend his choice of women -- evaluating the probabilities and going ahead to find the spouse he wants. The probability for many is that a Filipina would be a perfect match -- the search entails locating the really honest ones who aren't in it for the green card and cash to send back home.


Yes, I agree with this whole post. If you find an honest wife there, things can work out fantastically well. But you hit on the issue that many guys worry about:

http://www.gmanews.t...-money-not-love
toma1MaleThailand2009-10-10 21:21:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (steve55 @ Oct 10 2009, 01:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It makes me sick how political correctness is so rampant that it overides uncomfortable truths. Men in general are not attracted to overweight woman, and in fact, many woman are not attracted to overweight men, which is fine!! And fact is, American woman are fat. Maybe 20% are not . Yet you guys jump on Toma1 for pointing out fact and truth and even twist it into accusing him of only loving his wife for her phyisical looks and then INSULTING his wife AND CALLING HER A PIECE OF MEAT. You people should leave family out of your insults ok? Family and spouses are off limits in any tid for tats.


Thanks Steve. Actually, those silly comments are so NOT my wife that anyone that knows her would have found them to be ludicrous. And as a point of correction, I said, "There is no sense singling out American women. AMERICANS are too fat, and that applies to both women AND men." I'm not sure why or how they twisted that into applying only to women.

In any event, here is a study that makes your point, just one of a number that I have seen over the years.
http://www.psycholog...men-marry-money

HOWEVER, I will say that I am a man, and perhaps... just as bad?

I only dated (at least on a regular basis) successful women when I was in Thailand. My wife had her own home in the country (which she designed), a condo in Bangkok, and two cars (one at each location) before I ever met her. (And NONE of which she got from her parents.) She was a graduate of the best med school in Thailand. And I thought all of that was fantastic! Does that mean I wanted her money? No... I make well into the 6-figures and don't need it. But I took those things as signs that she was intelligent, self-motivated and disciplined. She also happened to be in-shape and attractive, which--as I pointed out--I consider to be very important as well. (In-shape is a given in Thailand, though.)

I knew that a successful woman would be intellectually interesting as well as physically attractive. I also could be sure that I wasn't just the first willing "meal ticket" to come along. In fact, my wife's lifestyle was not substantially improved by marrying me. Frankly, if she wanted huge sums of money, she had at least two options to marry (that I know of) that would have made her fabulously wealthy by any standard.

(That said, I would have no problem with my job and salary being ONE of her reasons for marrying me, and I have no doubt that they were some form of measuring stick for her the same as hers were for me).

toma1MaleThailand2009-10-10 01:20:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (daboyz @ Sep 18 2009, 10:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm not going to go back through 27 pages of this thread to find it, but at some point the discussion went something like "fat American looking for hot Asian girl" You can dig through it if you want.


I owe you an apology then--I'm sorry.

I thought you were referring to my comments specifically.
toma1MaleThailand2009-09-18 10:12:00
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QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 18 2009, 12:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Let me talk to your hand so the message gets through loud and clear.


Bahahahaha!

ENJOY!


toma1MaleThailand2009-09-17 23:07:00
IMBRA Special TopicsThird K1 Visa
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 17 2009, 11:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So it is quite alright for you to come here and to insult the other members of Visa Journey... Or do I need to explain further?


Yes please explain further. Please tell me what I said that was not true. Or what was true, but that you didn't like.

I've asked you several times to quote me, but you seem to be unable to do so.


toma1MaleThailand2009-09-17 22:58:00
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QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 17 2009, 11:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What personal attacks? blink.gif


Of the two issues I mentioned, you choose that one to question? Really...? Sigh... now I really do feel 12.

Well you hit on the major ones that I suppose were meant to push my buttons. Bald... and ya know something, I almost responded to that one, "you forgot small #######," but you came through on that one with flying colors as well. Congrats. I'm 47, past the mid life crisis days and, pardon me, but I don't care to respond. If you really want to persist with this you can talk with the others in the Off Topic room because I'm not going there with you.

How about addressing the real issue? What did you disagree with in my OP and why? And at least quote me. Don't come in with nonsense like "you suggested looking for a 'spouse based solely on their looks.'"

QUOTE (charles! @ Sep 17 2009, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (toma1 @ Sep 17 2009, 10:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 17 2009, 11:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why?


Because you and your "Christian" pals have spent exactly ZERO seconds telling me what fact you disagree with in my OP, but instead have spent the past 6 hours leveling personal attacks and putting words in my mouth. Thou doth protest too much, methinks.

By all means, if I have said something that you disagree with, speak up!

If not, please talk to the hand...

why, is it brighter? unsure.gif


Much! Try it!
toma1MaleThailand2009-09-17 22:41:00
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QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 17 2009, 11:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why?


Because you and your "Christian" pals have spent exactly ZERO seconds telling me what fact you disagree with in my OP, but instead have spent the past 6 hours leveling personal attacks and putting words in my mouth. Thou doth protest too much, methinks.

By all means, if I have said something that you disagree with, speak up!

If not, please talk to the hand...
toma1MaleThailand2009-09-17 22:14:00
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QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 17 2009, 10:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congratulations. I am impressed with your monumental verbal skills. Your wife must be so proud. whistling.gif


Sigh... why are you still talking?

QUOTE (daboyz @ Sep 17 2009, 10:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess if anyone is going to look for a spouse based solely on their looks, they are in for a serious disappointment in the long run.


Can you point out where someone said that please?

Edited by toma1, 17 September 2009 - 09:59 PM.

toma1MaleThailand2009-09-17 21:59:00
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QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Sep 17 2009, 10:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's creepy. Is dimwit the best insult you could come up with?


It fit.

toma1MaleThailand2009-09-17 21:28:00