biggish data

So does it really suck when they get here or what?

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 10 2008, 12:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (wahrania @ Apr 9 2008, 02:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 9 2008, 12:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 9 2008, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Gary,

Hate for an ex is love that has disappointed you. You need some counseling. I don't hate my ex, I don't love him, I have no feelings because I don't care any more. I have moved on to greener pastures.

If my husband spent this much time dwelling on his ex I would get so freaking sick of it that it would eventually lead to problems. Can't you move on????

I have moved on and I never talk about her, I only brought her up because I am curious why the difference in women from other cultures.

First let me clue you into something. Many women from other cultures do dastardly things to American Men. Take a hop skip and a stroll over to some of the other threads and you will see South American , Russian, Chinese you name it taking American men for greencard rides up and down the street. I personally have watched several south American women in the area that I live in in Florida make a laughing stock of their American husbands. Its not about culture. Its about UPBRINGING and to catagorize all American women as bad because you got taken for a ride is horrible. You are painting all women from MEXICO as saintlike and great moms and that just is not the case. You could have just as easily ended up with a former prostitute who stole all your money and waited out her AOS period and latered you.

I watch these threads started by these men that somehow think all RUSSIANS are saints. I got to the point that I just pointed out that most of the prostitutes working in UAE . Abu Dhabi and Dubai are from the FSU. The problem with prostitution of the FSU countries has become so severe that you really do not know WHAT or WHO you are marrying when you marry a woman from a foreign country. At least with an American you can run a background check. Can you do that with a foreign wife? Do you really know where she has been all the years before you knew her...The same thing stands with South America and Mexico. Do you really know the woman you marry as well as you could know an American? Just wondering.

The arrogance of some of the American men marrying foreign women astounds me. You do not have to BASH american women to point out the positives in your wife. American women also have to put up with being expected to work full time and raise kids and do everything else while alot of American men would put us out to work like farm hands and abuse the ####### out of us and then when you finally get your wife toy from overseas, you baby them. If I could sit on my ### and raise kids and not pull in a paycheck, I would be miss perfect too. The biggest problem with american women is our MEN. They want everything, give very little back, offer no romance or love story and then whine that we don't do what foreign women do. We don't get the chance to. We have to build your life on our backs,break our lives in half, raise your children for you to turn around and say we are not feminine or submissive enough. Who the hell is paying the bills while we are submissive. Not a damn person.... I do not blame you for looking overseas but most women do not start out their relationships bitter. We start out with dreams and needs.... and unlike most of my friends who just put up with the beer bellies and no personality red neck antics, we went else where too. Just like you

Sorry mena girls if my post offends anyone...

See now, you pissed of Wahrania, and she is raging preggy hormonal.

Wahrania, it is true about the Russian prostitutes in Dubai. MY SIL lived there and said they are everywhere. Imagine one of them hooking up with an American for a visa. Then we would see some hate all Russian women.

The thing I find interesting is that after looking through quite a few of the forums, I have seen many many many negative comments about American women, but this was the first one I have seen about American men. (DON'T PISS OFF THE PREGNANT WOMAN!)

In all seriousness, it is tiresome to read about how 'we' are all money-grubbing gold diggers or evil or selfish, etc. I just don't know what American women they are talking about or have been associating with - no one in my family or friendship circle could remotely be characterized that way!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-09 14:27:00

So does it really suck when they get here or what?

QUOTE (julianna @ Apr 9 2008, 11:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Nagishkaw @ Apr 9 2008, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope, you are not alone.

I think a lot of us ask around and try to figure out where the hitches were (like this thread), and then from that added to our personal knowledge of the individual involved... we try to guess and prepare for what we think MAY happen. Sometimes we're right, sometimes we're wrong. Lotsof us try to focus on re-creating a "home" for the individual on the get-go, although some of that just cannot be done-- especially when they are moving into an established household with almost nothing of their own. I would think that is one thing that kind of sucks for some people, but it may not matter to others. Some individuals may prefer to try to "build something together" and others probably would love to be in charge of building their own

Also I think lots of time moving to a new country you'll tend to catch a couple of colds or get kind of sick from a change in environment/viruses/bacteria/etc. That probably sucks

I got that advice from a friend, and so I had stocked up on some cold medicines and OTC stuff of all kinds, just in case.

The OTC idea is fantastic - I always seem to get run-down and sick when I travel long distances like that!! Now if I could just find somthing that cures jet-lag, we'd be all set! (I HATE`that wakeup at 2AM ready to start the day period!!)

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-09 14:08:00

How Muslims Are Treated In USA

WOW, I was in tears in the middle of that too! And then I was angry, and then I was happy to see someone do something... Thanks for sharing...

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-08 11:09:00

QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 26 2008, 01:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hmmmm... not sure what all this means? Does your husband smile at you a lot?

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-03-26 11:58:00

I agree, a man room will be ideal when we move, and maybe a nice quiet woman room too!

After some years, we will be moving back to India and building a house, but we both decided that a few years of him getting to know my family and my cultural background would be good for our marriage, as well as his career!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-03-26 00:33:00

QUOTE (martiniolive @ Mar 25 2008, 07:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Carolynritesh...wow....I think I vote for your hubby!!!! he's a poster man for good behaviour in my book.......

QUOTE (CarolynRitesh @ Mar 24 2008, 10:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ritesh is a big 'feeder' also - anything he eats or cooks, he loves to share with me...

Head massages with oil...

Complete body massages...

Never missed a day in 2.5 years of calling me, no matter where in the world each of us are...

Took 10 days off of work to be by my side in the hospital through two surgeries, fed me, bathed me, changed my bed pan in emergencies, yelled at nurses and doctors when necessary, spent a day in summer weather (in India, on a motorcycle!) traveling all over town to find my blood type, nursed me back to health for two months...

Hand washed ALL the dishes after a Christmas gathering for 15 people...

Stays in the bedroom when I need some time just to myself/gives me my space...

Always thinks of my comfort and happiness first when planning trips, nights on the town, etc.

Always talks things through and never raises his voice or temper...

Is calm when I am exasperated about things in India, things to do with this process, etc.

Aaw, thanks! I think he is pretty special, wouldn't trade him for the world!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-03-25 14:36:00

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-03-25 00:49:00

Fillable forms issue (I-130/G325A)

QUOTE (LadyJane @ Feb 26 2008, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We hand-wrote in the fields where there wasn't enough space. It was fine!

Another option is to attach an addendum page with the complete information, referring to the line number and title of the field. I had this problem with listing complete addresses in India!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-02-26 11:00:00

Did you send something fun & original with the I-130 ?

QUOTE (KipandSarahJayne @ Mar 8 2008, 08:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok .... there appears to be a bit of discrepancy with the accepted notion of 'first come first approved' at the USCIS.
Sure, there are a couple of July filers without approval ... and there's a bit of backlog .... but there are some which are getting approved way ahead of schedule.

The fact there was a November I-130 filer (November 20th 2007) who got approved on February 7th 2008 through Vermont just proves my point.

So .... let's look outside the box for a second and consider the thought ..... as the adjudicators are human, do they tend to deal more quickly with the I-130 packages which look more appealing ???

.... don't think I'm being silly .... this is quite basic psychology, and probably something most of us didn't take into consideration when sending our paperwork in.

I presume most of us went the usual route of sending in the bog standard paperwork ... a few photos .... cover letter .... marriage certificate ... and anything else you can find that documents some form of ongoing relationship.
However ..... were there any of you which sent something a little fun & different ? ..... and you've been approved ?

Did any of you use fun coloured paper ?
What colour envelope did you send your stuff in ?
Did anyone send a DVD of themselves ?
Did anyone slip in a small but meaningful gift ?

Most importantly of all .... how big were the envelopes you sent ? .... did you pay for a small packet to be delivered ? .... or was there the necessity for big machinery to be involved in the delivery of your application, meaning it will take the adjudicator a year to read through it ?

Let's take the heat out of this 'piece of string' wait, and actually consider something else .... some of you are getting ahead faster than others, so there has to be a reason .... and noone seems to have broached this point before.

Sorry to jump on this thread as I submitted my I-130 DCF, but I think the key sentence above relates to the fact that someone was processed quicky in Vermont - I am sure I read somewhere else that Vermont moved VERY quickly for them - rather than the idea of an unusual package.

Although I like the idea, and personally would love to see something unusual in a day of papers papers papers. I can say that the USCIS people in Delhi tore apart our lovingly arranged package in about 3 minutes and literally pushed things back through the window so that they fell on the floor. In our case, the fact that we got to the rep. right before lunch time seemed to speed things up!

As far as a DVD goes, I don't think the offices have anything that they can use to play those on, and it might even hinder your process. The gift idea is interesting, just trying to figure out what would be meaningful to a government employee of an unknown sex! If you were to send some kind of food, etc., it could even be looked upon with suspicion! I too would love to hear from anyone who has tried something unique - I wonder if you would even get an feedback about that from UCSIS?

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-03-08 12:40:00

still have not got I-864

Hello,

I am not sure exactly how things work when you process from the US (we did DCF), but the I-864 forms/packet can be downloaded directly from the USCIS website on-line. We did our forms this way rather than waiting for things to come from the consulate or embassy and it made the process MUCH faster!

Good Luck!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-04 03:21:00

Can I travel out of India while I-30 is pending

I don't really know the answer as to whether or not it will affect your process, but I did want to let you know that they asked Ritesh at our interview about any countries he had traveled to (only the UK for work a few years ago), and even probed about our honeymoon location (Goa, so it wasn't an issue!).

That he had been to the UK for work was not an issue at all, but since it was some time ago, and for work, that may have been why... You wouldn't need police certs for any other countries unless you were there for 6 months plus, so that is not a worry.

Maybe it would be good to e-mail the Chennai IV Unit and give them the details of why you are traveling, and ask their opinion?

I hope you don't miss out on an opportunity to travel!!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-06 06:25:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

GOT THE 221 PAPER

QUOTE (rick @ Apr 9 2008, 06:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (CarolynRitesh @ Apr 9 2008, 03:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (rick @ Apr 5 2008, 06:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello everybody, i had my interview last April 4, and i got the 221 paper. The consul did tell me to submit additional documents from my fiance his two (2) divorce papers from his ex's, i only had the latest one. He got married 3 times though. But they let me pay the visa delivery. If i can submit the documents they needed, will it guarantee that i can have my visa soon?

Anyone here that encountered problem like this? Just want to know the outcome...

Thanks again...

I am confused - he has divorce papers for two ex's, but he has been married 3 times? Since you are on a K1, I am assuming you are not the 3rd? Be very careful about that, I don't think USCIS, etc. would appreciate that kind of discrepency on forms...

Good Luck in resolving this quickly!

He was married 3 times and divorced 3 times too. Yes I am on K1 and be the fourth to be. I only had submitted the divorce papers of the 3rd one, and the embassy needs the divorce papers of the 3. So i have to submit the first 2 divorce papers to them.

Ohhh, ok, thanks for clarifying - I thought he was married three times, but only told USCIS that he was married twice! Thanks for clarifying!

Then it should not be too much longer, just make sure he gets those papers to you fast!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-09 08:31:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

GOT THE 221 PAPER

QUOTE (rick @ Apr 5 2008, 06:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Anyone here that encountered problem like this? Just want to know the outcome...

Thanks again...

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-09 03:36:00

Russian swearwords

'Idi na hui' - even though I am not male, I love that one!

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-10 12:32:00

Wow Bobalouie, tell me more!! I would never have thought of Oklahoma City as a place to be, but one of the job possibilities for Ritesh is in Oklahoma City, and that housing market alone is appealing! (Plus, it is a centralized jumping off point from which to explore the US!)

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-09 01:55:00

QUOTE (Chuckles @ Apr 8 2008, 11:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

... and then there are millions upon millions of people who have never met their spouse before marriage, such as is common in India, and very many of those marriages work out just fine.

Its not worth predicting or worrying about other peoples 'relationship worthiness'. Just get on with life and let other people be.

Sorry you took what I wrote that way Chuckles, it was not how I meant it to come across. It was not about 'relationship worthiness', it was an honest question about how others make their marriages work in a cross-cultural setting. I am curious to see how other people are dealing with it because no matter how any of our relationships evolved initially, we have to deal with things that other couples don't when they are both in/from the US. We are getting ready to move to the US, and it is something I am thinking about right now.

As far as Indian arranged marriages go, it is the mentality of both sides of the couple and there is a LOT of family support to help make them work. Even with that, Indian couples where one member grew up in the US and the other in India face the same obstacles that everyone else faces and divorce is on the rise...

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-08 01:18:00

Again this thread has taken a few interesting turns!

I would have to agree with eekee that spending one week with someone 24/7 is not the same as dating someone for several months. Not to mention, but you are jet lagged for most if not all of that trip and fuzzy thinking prevails! Some advice my Mom gave me a long time ago is to know a person for at least a year before you make any big decisions because in that year you will see them in all kinds of different situations (and they you) and can get beyond that euphoric phase as eekee so eloquently put it.

Of course there are couples that meet and instantly know they are right for each other, of course there are couples that meet on-line and then have a brief meeting together and work out - and of course there are couples that date for long periods and still do not work out - it's just that couples who have been dealing with each other face to face have better tools in their toolkit to deal with the unpredictableness of life.

Obviously, most people can't take a year away from financial, family, etc. obligations and fly around the world to settle into a completely different culture to get to know their potential mates better. I have to admit, that if I had met my husband on-line and come to India for a week or two to meet him, we might still have gotten married, but our transition to a new life together in the US would be much MUCH more difficult for both of us than it will be since I have spent 3 years in his culture. We have both changed in this process so far and will continue to do so as we shift into a different culture together. Seeing him and being with him over time in his own culture helps me to understand where he is coming from, why he thinks certain ways, does certain things, etc. To expect him to go to the US and just 'become American' is un-realistic, but I do expect him to change - that is impossible to avoid.

I guess my point is, don't underestimate the depth and influence of anyone's native culture and mentality and don't overestimate the power of love or an 'easier' life in building a solid and lasting relationship. My question for everyone (both for those with spouses here and those preparing for their spouses/fiancees), how are you preparing for/dealing with this shift in both of your lives? What has been easy, and what has been challenging? How have you, as the USC or Russian changed for the better or worse?

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-08 00:42:00

Oh Charles, if I hadn't already seen enough of your posts to know a little bit of how you operate!

I'll tell you what, you start it, and I will get my flame-thrower ready!

Now, back on topic(s)...

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-07 12:47:00

Please don't derail this thread with stories of how awful American women are - this is really an interesting thread! (Even if we are not all awful!!)

CarolynRitesh

Female

India

2008-04-07 11:18:00