ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Asia: SouthBangalore Passport Clearance Certificate
Aargh - it is soooo frustrating to read about how other people got their PCC's in one or two days! sad.gif Ritesh has his Local Police (Commissioner's Office) certificate, that went smoothly in the time-frame he was originally given - 2 weeks.

He is now back at the Commissioner's Office trying to expedite the PCC paperwork (both local addresses through the respective local police offices have been verified, etc.) and all that documentation is sitting at the Commissioner's Office waiting to be sent to the Passport Office. It has been 33 days now, and we are worried it won't get processed in time for the interview...

The person he spoke with said there were 2,000 applications waiting to be packed and shipped to the PCC office. Why is there no proper process/system for this to be done in a timely fashion?!?! I guess it is just a good preparation for going the the US and all the waiting we shall have to do for other things!

We thought we were doing the right thing in applying before we even had the Interview letter, but the DCF process has moved soooo quickly, that maybe we should have done this in December?! Sorry, just needed to vent...
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia3/17/2008 2:54
Asia: SouthBangalore Passport Clearance Certificate
QUOTE (Jigi @ Mar 8 2008, 08:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi,

Approach the Police first.. because it says.. awaiting police clearance.. ask the police guy whether they have sent it or no.. becos these idiots dont send it..... and then go to the banglore passport office

Jigi


Thanks Jigi, I will have him check with the police in his old neighborhood first, then go to the PCC office with his already approved cert for our current address in hand... Since he got his passport in Delhi, do you think his application has been sent there for further checking? This is so frustrating!!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia3/8/2008 12:15
Asia: SouthBangalore Passport Clearance Certificate
QUOTE (Jigi @ Mar 7 2008, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi,

I wish ritesh had given a few bucks.. so the Police could mail it back to the Blore passport office the same day and so in a way the Blore passport office could have got back to passport office more faster and you could have had the PCC more sooner.

Jigi



That is just it Jigi, the same man came two days in a row for signing papers and verifying address - and he got a 'few bucks' EACH day! Ritesh even let his old roommates know that they might get a visit and prepped them, but NO visit to his old house... crying.gif

We are not even sure who to approach about this?! The local tiny police office by his old house? The PCC Office?
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia3/7/2008 10:01
Asia: SouthBangalore Passport Clearance Certificate
Hello!

Does anyone else have experience with the Bangalore PCC? My husband submitted his on the 15th of February (the day after the Bangalore Police Cert.), and we have YET to hear anything. The same man who came to the house the following Tuesday for Police Cert. check came back the next day for the PCC Check.

I thought I had read on here that many others have had fast success with the PCC, but a longer wait for the police cert.?! sad.gif We got the Bangalore cert. back on the 28th of Feb as promised, but the PCC Office website says they are still waiting on police verification to continue processing?!

One thing that may make a difference is that Ritesh lived in a different section of Bangalore until about Sept. of 2007, and they said they would check there as well, but no one has ever gone to his old apartment.

It has now been 3 weeks, and we are getting a little bit antsy - what are other people's timelines for the PCC in Bangalore or elsewhere in India, just out of curiosity..

Thanks!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia3/7/2008 6:03
Africa: Sub-SaharanI 864 A HELP!!!!!
Hello!

Ok, first of all, I see that you are filing for a K1 visa, which it is my understanding requires an I-134 for the first leg of the journey. smile.gif

When applying for AOS, I believe that is when you do the I-864. We just completed the DCF process, and we used the beneficiary's assets as a part of our Affidavit - both 1 year of bank statements, as well as Certificates of Deposit that he holds - both from India. It did NOT require a separate form I-864A, it was just a part of my (the petitioner) I-864. If you go this route, make sure that you have 1 year of bank statements and copies of original documents, etc.

One more point, if you are just looking at supplying a stop-gap between your income and the 125% of the poverty level (around $17, 500 this year for a family of 2), the assets that you show to make up for the income must be THREE TIMES the gap between your income and the threshold. This can be confusing, so here is an example:

If your income is $14, 500, and the requirement is $17, 500, your assets to make up the difference would need to be $9,000. (3 times the $3,000 that is missing.)

I hope this helps you, the I-864 is one of the more 'fun' docs in this process! blink.gif

Edited by CarolynRitesh, 11 April 2008 - 02:51 AM.

CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-11 02:48:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAOS and I-765 forms
Hi Terry and Stuart,

I just saw this thread after seeing the original! (Didn't realize you are prepping for AOS now!) wink.gif As long as the beneficiary's income is being earned in the US, it should not be a problem to use it. Assets from any location can also be used, as long as they are converted into US dollars.

I wish I could help you regarding which form to fill out - whether it is a 'shared' I-864, or a separate I-864A, I don't have the form in front of me, but I thought there was a place in the I-864 just for the immigrants income and assets? This would be a great question to put in the forum for adjusting status, I know you are not the only ones who have had this question!

Good luck with AOS, and please post your findings and progress so that we can all benefit! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-11 03:01:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)April Interviews
Hello!

How did you find out your interview date?? Our DS 230 arrived at the Chennai Consulate on the 25th of Feb, and we have emailed to request our date but no luck yet. Where did you get the date information?!

Good Luck! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-03 11:05:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)CHENNAI EMBASSY
QUOTE (june007 @ Mar 13 2008, 04:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
will they ask for the original birth certificate of the USC at the time of interview


I don't think so, but you may have to show your Passport to even get into the Consulate... I hope you can attend the interview, I am planning on being there with my husband! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-13 10:09:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)CHENNAI EMBASSY
My husband is also through Chennai (based in Bangalore) and will have our April interview date on Wednesday - or so someone at the Consulate told us today via email. We are doing the DCF route, but hopefully we can learn and share from our experiences as well! (Our DS 230 forms and Applicant Readiness form reached the Consulate on February 25th.... Hoping and praying for an early April date!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-03 13:49:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Indian PCC states "ineligible for travel"
I understand Indianheart - I did the same double-take that you did when I first saw the PCC! I do it every time I see petrol trucks here that say "highly inflammable". wink.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-01 09:14:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)I got my IR1 visa Yoo Hoooooo
That is WONDERFUL NEWS!! smile.gif Congratulations! smile.gif smile.gif We followed you on the 3rd with ours - Chennai was great! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-06 05:04:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresPolice CLearance In India
QUOTE (sweety10 @ Mar 21 2008, 01:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can I apply for a PC w/o packet 3? If yes, what steps are involved and how do I go about it? I am still awaiting packet 3 from Mumbai. Also, can I get the medicals done now? ANyone going thru' the embassy in Mumbai, please advice. Thanks in advance.



Hi Sweety, this question would probably be answered more quickly if posted in the South Asia Forum! I am in Bangalore and we just finished getting both certificates - no letters from consulate required, but each city seems to have different rules. Jigi would probably be the best one to respond about Mumbai! The earlier you do these the better! (Just not so early that they are no longer valid at the time of the interview!)

It took us 2 weeks to get the local cert., and 5 weeks for the PCC.
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-21 04:48:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionCopies of forms...
If you check the end of the I-864 form there isn't any place for notarization and the instrucctions don't mention anything related with that.
[/quote]


I agree with the above statement, but in my "things applicants do wrong" information from the Chennai Consulate, it mentions that the I-864 MUST be notarized. It might be up to the individual consulate what they require... ohmy.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-02-22 05:52:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionAssets v. income
Hi coyote,

I just went through a CR1 (DCF) interview in India, and we had the same problem. As I have been working in India for the last 3 years, I have NO income to claim for the I-864 process (which is what I believe is used in the AOS process in the US). We have $30,000 in our joint bank accounts, plus his CDs which took us up to about $62,000 in assets - all of it in Indian rupees presently. We got my Dad as a co-sponsor but did not submit his paperwork until it was requested at the first interview of the day.

In the end, we got my Dad's paperwork back as the Consulate Officer determined it was not necessary. We had a lot of peace of mind since we had the co-sponsor, but it may not be necessary - you do have the assets well over the 3 times the 125% of the poverty level, so legally it should be ok, but then everything seems to be up to the individual interviewing you. If you do sell the property at the asking price, you will DEFINITELY be well over the requirements!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-04 13:20:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionObservation...
I was thinking about this topic this evening, and wanted to get a wider perspective on this silly little point...

Over the last few months I have written numerous emails to the Chennai Consulate and yesterday had interactions with both Indian and American staff at the Consulate Office. Not one person EVER identified themselves by name, and when I thought back on it, no one has ever said the name of anyone who interviewed them (for South Asia anyway!) - just 'Indian woman' or young American woman, etc.

Do they remain nameless on purpose? Are they afraid that people who are denied visas will get violent or look for revenge in some way?

I guess I had a picture in my head of the Consulate offices being a little different, where the interview would be face to face at a desk, with no glass walls in between and a microphone for communication, it was odd to see a kind of 'bank' environment.

Did you have the same experience with your Consulate/Embassy? Do you know the names of the people that you interacted with - at least the first name? What was the physical experience of the interview like in your country?
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-04 15:42:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussionk1 visa rejected at chennai consulate
QUOTE (maya62 @ Apr 9 2008, 06:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sauron,

I am sorry to hear this. However, there is a fallacy in what the CO told your fiancee. If you are indeed legally married under Indian law, there should be no need to go over there and get married "again" (as you mentioned in your review of the Chennai consulate). As you have seen, that is the point of the USCIS appeal from 2003. You should be able to simply file a K3 application as things now stand.

I can't really advise you, but I can tell you what I would do ASAP ASAP ASAP, while the petition is still at the Consulate. I would contact a reputable Indian immigration lawyer in this country, hopefully one who has professional contacts in Chennai who work with the Chennai consulate. I would explain the situation and see what they recommend. I would also explain to them that I am planning, imminently, to do the following:

I would also contact both my US Senators and my US Rep and ask to speak to one of their immigration liaisons. Explain the situation, tell them about the appeal ruling and the instructions of the CO, and be sure they understand that I am trying to turn this thing around BEFORE IT LEAVES THE CONSULATE.

And I would write as diplomatic a letter as possible to the Consulate about this and FAX it to them, along with a copy of that appeal and a detailed explanation of why I believe I am not legally married under Indian law (and point out that apparently the CO believes the same, otherwise why would he have advised your fiancee to get married "again").

And I would make it clear, to the liaisons and in my letter to the Consulate, that I believe that my fiance signed that affidavit "under duress".

That's what I would do. I think many people, when faced with the prospect of further lengthy separation, would leave no stone unturned in the effort to change the outcome of this. That, in itself, is good evidence of your sincerity.

I'll post this in your thread about the denial, too, in case anyone wants to offer alternatives or thinks that my ideas are not advisable.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Maya

ETA: To be clear: I would definitely try to overturn this decision first at the Consulate (not the same as a formal appeal), before I would start all over. But I would start all over before I would try a formal appeal. To try to get this turned around at the Consulate, my understanding is that you need to act FAST. And the folks who seem to me to have the US end of the Batphone to the Consulates, are the immigration liaisons that work on Congressional staffs.


Thanks for sharing your insight Maya, I hope that Sauron is able to act quickly enough to get this turned around! Any idea of how fast a Consulate moves these things out of their hands? Sauron, you are not alone, Kshatriya also faced similar circumstances in Chennai on April 4th - maybe you guys could chat about the steps you are taking! Keep posting with the progress, it could help quite a few others out there I'm sure!

Also, is there anyway to copy/move this to the South Asia forum where others who share this problem are more likely to see it?
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-10 02:52:00
US Embassy and Consulate Discussionk1 visa rejected at chennai consulate
I am sorry that your K1 visa did not come through for you, I can imagine that what you thought would be the day you found out your wife would be able to come to you and now she will be delayed is heartbreaking!

I have a feeling that involving congressmen, etc. could just delay the process further...

Why not trying emailing the Consulate, explaining in further detail what and why you took the K1 steps (the marriage is not legal at this time, and another one will be performed in the US) and see what they say? The problem is, if the marriage is not legally recognized in India, you WON'T be able to do the K3 as they will look for that evidence in your K3 visa petition... Quite a quandry... Even if you move to India, in order to do a DCF process (which was quite fast for us!), you would have to stay for several months to qualify to file an I-130 in Delhi.

Perhaps a consulatation with an attorney would help navigate this process a little better, but be careful in who you select, make sure they have dealt with this kind of situation before. (I know it is not the first time this has happened in USCIS/Consulate history!)

I wish you luck and speed in your journey!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-08 04:23:00
US Citizenship General DiscussionCitizens traveling abroad
There is no requirement to register, but as the other poster said, it is not a bad idea. It is not difficult, I have done it here in India via email.
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-07 07:01:00
PhilippinesI WILL BRING THE FF. TO MY INTERVIEW
Looks great girl - I just hope you can carry all of that!! It must weigh a TON! smile.gif

Good luck at your interview!!!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-04 06:43:00
Middle East and North AfricaJobs in Michigan
QUOTE (77Maureen @ Mar 6 2008, 04:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
times are rough here in Michigan, i wish something good happens soon.


Oh wow, you guys are just reinforcing what my Dad has been saying for some time... I grew up in the Detroit area, but have not lived there since 1993, and now that I am coming back to the US with my husband, we wanted to be close to family to start off, but it sounds rather hopeless! crying.gif

My husband has been working for Microsoft for the last 3 years and before that has 3 years of experience with HP and other MNC's. Any opinions on whether or not that will help in his job hunt? Is it really really that bad in the Detroit area?? A ray of hope, anyone? helpsmilie.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-06 06:47:00
Middle East and North AfricaAt the embassy in Algiers
CONGRATULATIONS!!! TIME TO CELEBRATE!!! I wish you much love and happiness on the next phase of your journey - TOGETHER!! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-30 02:31:00
Middle East and North Africascared but hoping
Hi Wahrania,

Along with everyone else, I agree that right now you need to stay calm for your and the baby's health and well-being. You can also look at his expression of fear in a different way. I would take it as a good sign that he is being open and communicative about his fears, I can only imagine how daunting it must be to leave everything he knows and where he feels safe and 'in control', and while that does add stress on you right now, I would encourage him to keep talking about things that scare him, bother him, excite him, etc. about the move. And hey, maybe all those horror stories will actually make things seem better when he gets to the US!

Culture shock is a very real thing, and it only gets more intense over time. The first three months could be a honeymoon period with reality settling in from 3 months to 1 year where things can get very intense, depression can set in, etc. It is important to talk about those things with him, for him to understand some things that can be expected, that this won't be easy... If you let him know that adjusting is a process and it takes about a year to feel some kind of comfort level in a new culture, and that it is totally natural for EVERYONE going through the process to feel lost, etc. and to give himself, your marriage and your child time and thoughtful effort, it might make him feel more comfortable. It might be helpful to seek out a counselor of some kind before he gets here, for him, both of you, or you on your own to help in the adjustment phase. I think he is coming on a CR1, right? If so, at least he will be able to work immediately and keeping yourself active, helping to support your family, etc. are helpful in the process of adjusting.

I wish the best for you and your family!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-02 09:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaMonday oh YES Monday!!!!
Congratulations Cheryl!! Enjoy your pampering day and the start to your new life with your beloved! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-07 03:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaVisa in hand in Algiers
YEAH!!!! Congratulations! smile.gif May you find good and cheap tickets QUICKLY! smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-08 06:40:00
Middle East and North Africa10 Year Card Approved
CONGRATULATIONS!! smile.gif kicking.gif dancin5hr.gif goofy.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-09 02:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaMedical Exam Results
Congratulations!! A clean bill of health is ALWAYS good news! smile.gif One step closer to home! smile.gif

Each consulate must be a little bit different in regard to the Medical Envelope being sealed - they state everywhere on-line that it should be, but when you go through security they make you unseal it if it had been sealed before. Anthrax scare in India, maybe?? (Our doctor even recommended that Ritesh make copies of his report for his own records and told him not to seal!)
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-09 13:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaMedical Exam Results
Really? You have to take in a sealed envelope? We had to take it in an unsealed envelope as the consulate office wouldn't allow any sealed envelopes... Hmmmm... Ritesh knew everything that the doc was writing and told him everything was fine...
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-07 13:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaAPPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GREAT NEWS!!!! HUGS BACK!! smile.gif smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-10 00:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaT-T-Thursday!
QUOTE (77Maureen @ Apr 11 2008, 04:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hey carolyn, i am in the downriver area, it's raining here and tomorrow severe thunderstorms (at least no snow!)the weather this weekend is going to be chilly (boo hoo) the weather here is so unpredictable, two days ago i was wearing shorts and today im in my winter clothes mad.gif you havent missed anything here, except for Mayor Kawme Kilpatrick being in hot water! When are you coming back?

QUOTE (sara535 @ Apr 10 2008, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sereia @ Apr 10 2008, 12:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the last two nights i've dreamt of gordon ramsay... wub.gif


laughing.gif

that just made me LOL



Sara, she is such a cutie pie!! She should be the new baby for Gerber! smile.gif


Hi Maureen and fellow Motor City Ladies!

We will be flying into DTW on May 19th! smile.gif I am excited to be coming back to Detroit, I haven't lived in the area since 1994 which seems like a longggg time ago! My Dad keeps telling me just how awful everything is as far as jobs, etc., so we may not be around for more than a nice visit with the fam. sad.gif

I used to work for the Girl Scout Council in Detroit and part of my 'territory' was Dearborn, Dearborn Heights, Taylor, Wyandotte, Grosse Ile, etc. Can't wait to show hubby the old stomping grounds! I grew up in Farmington, but moved to Hamtramck after uni. I guess my 'era' for Detroit was under Coleman Young, I haven't heard too much about Kwame Kilpatrick - is his wife, uh, a 'character'? I am forever defending my hometown - the cultural diversity, the architecture, the DIA, the Symphony, the 'old' Greektown before it became Casinoland, Xochimilco's and Mexican Town, the old Polish neighborhoods... There is a lot to love about the city, and a lot to be really really sad about...

I am sure that at least once when we are there, Ritesh will hear the tornado warning sirens, note to self, explain that beforehand!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-11 01:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaT-T-Thursday!
Sara and Adnan, you have the CUTEST lil one!! I just LOVE that age, my niece would just get the giggles for hours by playing peek-a-boo with her around that time.

Since it is 3:29 AM here in India, I am tempted to start a TGIF thread, but it looks like people are still writing in the Thursday thread! wink.gif

Nagishaw, and anyone in the Detroit area, how has the weather been on this fine Thursday? Time to start prepping to live in that unpredictable Michigan weather again after 3 years of open-toed sandals!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-10 16:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaT-T-Thursday!
QUOTE (wahrania @ Apr 10 2008, 12:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Sal and Jay @ Apr 10 2008, 02:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Happy Thursday to Everyone

car seat class for a discounted baby seat



I guess I have been out of the US too long, but what is a 'car seat class'? How much of a discount can you get? (When I shopped with my sis for one a few years ago, they could be hundreds of dollars!!)
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-10 03:29:00
Middle East and North Africatomorrow and maktoob(destiny in arabic)
Hello Wahrania,

You are in my thoughts and prayers too girl, take things one step at a time, and think of ways that you can relax and make yourself and the baby comfortable and under less stress. I know that you are very disappointed right now that your husband is stopping/delaying/costing, etc., etc. to see his Mom, I would feel the same.

Ritesh and I have had many many many conversations about the role of mothers/sons in India, and I get the feeling it is the same in Morocco - he thinks of us equally in his heart and tries very hard to ensure that we are both happy, which of course is NOT always possible, and usually puts him under a great deal of stress trying to makes amends with one or the other. I am not trying to make excuses for your husband, but I can imagine he has NO clue how much stress and pressure you are under right now (I think it is very hard for men to imagine that from such a long distance!) and I hope that you are able to communicate with him in a way that causes the least amount of stress for you!

Are there any volunteer groups in your area which could help you right now? I am sure there must be people who would be willing to drive you to appointments or take care of your daughter for a bit while you have time to unwind, etc. I remember reading on one of the threads that you are in FLA, I just can't remember exactly where?

Please let us know how things are, how the tests were, etc. Much love to you from India!

C
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-15 11:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaRequesting MENA prayers...
My thoughts, prayers, wishes and hopes are with you!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-16 04:24:00
Middle East and North AfricaAmnio came back and prelimary
I have not had a chance to check in on your status all day, but I have been thinking about you! I am soooo glad to hear that all is well right now, and that your husband will (hopefully!!!) be by your side sooner! smile.gif smile.gif smile.gif smile.gif
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-17 11:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaEgyptian police bust butcher over donkey meat
Horse meat is one of the national dishes of Kazakstan, so I had the opportunity to eat it many times. (It's ok, definitely doesn't taste like chicken or beef!) Before living there, I would NEVER have thought of it, but it is just a natural thing - when in Rome... The one thing I can't get my mind to meet is the custom of eating dog in Korea, just not sure that would ever sit well with me...

The most disturbing thing about that story was not that it was donkey, etc., but where he found the meat - ewwwwwie!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-15 05:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaArab Bashing
Wow, I think I need to read this forum's threads more often... What the ...?
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-03-18 07:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (Sister Fracas @ Apr 22 2008, 08:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (estadia @ Apr 22 2008, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
we are not married yet but what works for us if he has done or said something that hurts me.......i just get silent
i answer if he ask me something but only what is required he understands right away something he did was wrong and we talk about it........if i do something to upset him he cooks nobody can eat what he cooks lol cuz its too hot and spicy thats how i know if i crossed the line lol at least when we are together..........last time that happened my mom said ok thats it find out what u did wrong im hungery and i cant eat that lol.......there are ways to show the other person ur unhappy about something with out a big fight most the time.........

I don't think either of those methods are useful when dealing with an issue that needs to be addressed. If he does something to hurt you, you need to tell him. You don't need to go into a whole fight about it, but honestly, he can't be made to guess what's eating you. Silent treatment is a bit passive aggressive. And as for making food you can't eat, well that just seems silly. There are ways to discuss things without blowing up.


I am currently writing some course materials on the difference between direct and indirect communication methods and their effect on intercultural relationships, and both posters gave good examples of the differences, how they would be perceived by someone from within and outside of your own culture. Being a pretty direct communicator, I always struggle with the indirect style - thanks for sharing that estadia!

Now, back to reading this very interesting thread!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-24 23:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaSo does it really suck when they get here or what?
I am so sad it is 2:45 AM here and way past my bed-time! Can't wait to wake up and see where this thread goes next! Have a great evening/night - may all of our loved ones be safe!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-09 16:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaSo does it really suck when they get here or what?
I don't know if that is just a man/woman, East/West thing or not, but what the MENA hubby posted applies for Ritesh too - NEVER talk about the relationship in a 'public' way. He has learned to accept that I talk to close girlfriends, but he only talks to me about what is between us - not even his best friends.
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-09 15:59:00
Middle East and North AfricaSo does it really suck when they get here or what?
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 10 2008, 12:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (wahrania @ Apr 9 2008, 02:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 9 2008, 12:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 9 2008, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Gary,

Hate for an ex is love that has disappointed you. You need some counseling. I don't hate my ex, I don't love him, I have no feelings because I don't care any more. I have moved on to greener pastures.

If my husband spent this much time dwelling on his ex I would get so freaking sick of it that it would eventually lead to problems. Can't you move on????


I have moved on and I never talk about her, I only brought her up because I am curious why the difference in women from other cultures.

First let me clue you into something. Many women from other cultures do dastardly things to American Men. Take a hop skip and a stroll over to some of the other threads and you will see South American , Russian, Chinese you name it taking American men for greencard rides up and down the street. I personally have watched several south American women in the area that I live in in Florida make a laughing stock of their American husbands. Its not about culture. Its about UPBRINGING and to catagorize all American women as bad because you got taken for a ride is horrible. You are painting all women from MEXICO as saintlike and great moms and that just is not the case. You could have just as easily ended up with a former prostitute who stole all your money and waited out her AOS period and latered you.

I watch these threads started by these men that somehow think all RUSSIANS are saints. I got to the point that I just pointed out that most of the prostitutes working in UAE . Abu Dhabi and Dubai are from the FSU. The problem with prostitution of the FSU countries has become so severe that you really do not know WHAT or WHO you are marrying when you marry a woman from a foreign country. At least with an American you can run a background check. Can you do that with a foreign wife? Do you really know where she has been all the years before you knew her...The same thing stands with South America and Mexico. Do you really know the woman you marry as well as you could know an American? Just wondering.

The arrogance of some of the American men marrying foreign women astounds me. You do not have to BASH american women to point out the positives in your wife. American women also have to put up with being expected to work full time and raise kids and do everything else while alot of American men would put us out to work like farm hands and abuse the ####### out of us and then when you finally get your wife toy from overseas, you baby them. If I could sit on my ### and raise kids and not pull in a paycheck, I would be miss perfect too. The biggest problem with american women is our MEN. They want everything, give very little back, offer no romance or love story and then whine that we don't do what foreign women do. We don't get the chance to. We have to build your life on our backs,break our lives in half, raise your children for you to turn around and say we are not feminine or submissive enough. Who the hell is paying the bills while we are submissive. Not a damn person.... I do not blame you for looking overseas but most women do not start out their relationships bitter. We start out with dreams and needs.... and unlike most of my friends who just put up with the beer bellies and no personality red neck antics, we went else where too. Just like you

Sorry mena girls if my post offends anyone...


See now, you pissed of Wahrania, and she is raging preggy hormonal.

Wahrania, it is true about the Russian prostitutes in Dubai. MY SIL lived there and said they are everywhere. Imagine one of them hooking up with an American for a visa. Then we would see some hate all Russian women.



The thing I find interesting is that after looking through quite a few of the forums, I have seen many many many negative comments about American women, but this was the first one I have seen about American men. (DON'T PISS OFF THE PREGNANT WOMAN!) tongue.gif In all seriousness, it is tiresome to read about how 'we' are all money-grubbing gold diggers or evil or selfish, etc. I just don't know what American women they are talking about or have been associating with - no one in my family or friendship circle could remotely be characterized that way!
CarolynRiteshFemaleIndia2008-04-09 14:27:00