Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Kelly -- How are things going on your end? Hope all is well..... Hey Mindy, Thanks for asking..... Things are a little better after not talking to each other for 3 days !!! We HAD to talk last night because I told him he needs to find another place to stay because this is TOTAL BS !!! Anyway, his "deal" is my relationship with my son. He *says* he's not jealous, but.......he asked, when is it ME and YOU time, you and Austin are ALWAYS together !!! Now, here's how things go in our house..... He leaves for work at 7:30am and I take my son to school at 7:30am. My son has soccer practice Mon & Wed from 5-7pm, we don't get home until 7:30pm-ish. I NEVER know when Craig is going to get home from work, it can be anywhere from 6:30 to 9pm. His place of business is closing so his hours are all over the place. So when I get home, I gotta cook or find something for dinner, help my son with mounds of homework...catch-up on my travel stuff (because working my part-time job takes away from that on occassions), plus I scored the Baltimore Blast soccer team travel this year and that's keeping me VERY busy!! There are certain shows on TV that I like to chill out and watch and Craig likes the shows that I watch (except for The Bachelor). So we usually sit and watch them. My son goes to sleep at 9:30pm and Craig is shortly thereafter. Weekends --my son has soccer skill training Sat for 2 hours (times vary) and Sunday's we're off to anywhere in Maryland or Virginia for a game or tournament. This time of the year, I have a ton of travel functions and shows to go to in the evening and I'm gone till 9pm-ish. I spend as MUCH time with Craig as I possibly can.........but, he does not "GET" the fact that "I" am my sons only support system. Yes, my son tries to take advantage of that, but I give a little here and I give a little there. For those of us that have kids, you know exactly how I'm feeling and what I'm talking about........it's WAAAAY exhausting !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tonight we have no plans, but ........who KNOWS when he'll be home and he's NOT a "planner". I know that we need more quality time, but being a single parent with a crazy busy schedule (and he totally knew this BEFORE he got here)......"I" NEED a vacation alone !!! Anyone else feelin me ???????? You know I cannot respond to this one cause I get overly passionate about this issue me being a single parent myself. (For 3 weeks gain at least). Every relationsship with children has its own set of perculiar issues and no two are alike. My personal philosophy when it comes to my child is that I can chose my spouse, but my child I am stuck with for life. It's unfortunate that he feels he has to complete. Maybe he should try to take him to a soccer match or two, get on the sideline and do some cheering. My prayers are with you on this one. I guess I am too much of a cut and dry person for understand this so maybe someone with more of an objective head can give you some tips here. I need to take Craig with me and have a drink one of these days. We live close enough. Maybe he is having some difficulty understanding how easy this whole adjustment can be. Having a successful marraige and a happy home should not be so damn hard. maybe there is something that you are not sharing cause I cannot understand why he just insist on making this such a stressful experience. Maybe one Caribbean man to another, I may be able to share me lil bit of wisdom with him.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-20 10:10:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	DEFINITELY 2nd that........for GOOOOD VIBES to Darlene, Shauna and Stephen. Safe travels and best wishes to everyone!! I'm routin for ya !! Have a great weekend everyone !!! Hopefully us MD/VA/DC OR PA (if you were around) are going to be able to link up !! THANKS! ...kelly you are too funny....how's the weather???? Stephen...i have the same date as you and at 7:15 as well.....are you staying over in Kingston the night before??? I decided it would be best for us if we did and then we are also going to stay a extra night...i am sure we will see you there!! I am staying over in Kingston. I actually fly into Montego Bay on Sunday from JFK and then we are driving to Kingston and overnight at the Knutsford. Do not feel like driving that early morning to get into Kingston. I will e mail you my contact info in Jamiaca so we can at least maybe get together sometime before you leave. Is he supposed to be flying back with you? I am going to be there until Sunday when we fly back to JFK.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-20 08:39:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I am still here. We are going to have a civil ceremony at the courthouse in Baltimore City that Friday. I work at the Culinary school in baltimore and we have banquet and restaurant faccilities. As a present, my college is throwing me a small reception at no cost for about 25 people. Could not pass up on that offer. Did not feel like doing the decorating for the banquet hall for the ceremony and since the courthouse has a nice wedding chapel area I decided to use them.The time between our arrival and the wedding is too short to plan anything else. We have a lot to take care of when she comes here from deciding which college to attend, my sister's wedding in Florida a week after she gets here, her having to take the Praxis exam for the MD Education board certification on November 14th, a surprise birthday party for her on November 16th , and trying to make sure we cathch all the sales on Black Friday.Phew! I get tired just thinking about it. So I guess I will come up for air sometime in December! Best of luck to Darlene. You know I do not like to use the word luck acsue it sounds like we are taking a chance at something. The people I have met here are people with great intentions and solid relationships. So this is just a process that is just a part of being together. So to Darlene and all the others I say, give us all a heads up when you and the boo gets back cause you know we "yardies" know how to do things right.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-20 08:17:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	To all who are preparing for interviews next week, best of luck to you. I may not get the chance to put my usual 2 cents bit in before then cause I have so much to get done at work so that I can take the week off to go to my fiance's interview on October 30th. I promise to hang around after Iffeisha and I pop the bottle of wine. Our wedding plans are in place for November 10th in Baltimore. All that stands in our way right now is that 15 minute of fame with that man/ woman on Oxford Road in Kingston. I know there is someone else who has an interview date same as mine. Cannot remember who it is. Hope I do chat with you before then. To all of you, best of luck and I have a feeling we will all have success stories to share and guidance to give to those who are just one step behind us.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-19 20:30:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	[quote name='luvtravlin' date='Oct 19 2006, 05:40 PM' post='516492'] [quote name='Trinilad' date='Oct 19 2006, 03:44 PM' post='516207'] Last minute jitters I guess. OK I-134 question! I finally got my letter from the bank and all they give me is the date opened and current balance. Since I am using my income from my job to to show I meet the income requirements requirements, how important is this bank statement/ letter? I was able to get almost all the statements for the past year showing deposits and withdrawals, but I am not sure what information they are looking at when you have many transactions in one month? Did anyone who had a recent interview had thier bank statement or bank letter scrutinized? Did they actually ask for it after you provided the job letter and tax return or was it just one of those "just in case" documents that you walked with but never actually used? I tell you I am already personally responsible for a forest or two disappearing from the earth and I just do not feel like this last minute rangle with the bank. I have the last three years tax return, the job letter, the last 6 months worth of pay stubs. Am I ok here or am I missing something Here's how our interview went...this past May --- Dropped off our interview letter at Window 1. Waited for about 30 minutes, called to Window 4. She (not so nice) asked Craig if he'd ever been to the states.....No.....who was his fiancee.....my name. Asked why we had 2 I-134's, but kept both. Gave back all but 2004 & 2005 tax stuff. Then asked us to sit down to be called. Waited another 15 min called to Window 9 ....HE was BIGGEST a&&hole EVER !!!!!! He asked Craig to sign the forms, but we had forgotten to bring a pen. We asked NICELY if we could borrow a pen, he literally THREW down his headset and HUFFED and puffed away. He RELUCTANTLY let us BORROW a flippin pen. He asked Craig about 4x whether he'd been to the states. Asked if he'd ever been in trouble with the law, stopped by the police or had a criminal record. Craig answered that he had been in a car years ago, but nothing ever happened to him. Then he fingerprinted him. He proceeded to look at our OLD paperwork, meticulously looked through our pictures --which were about 10 pages long. I asked him if he would like some additional pictures, letters, phone records, etc.....NEVER looked at me and said, that wouldn't be necessary. Then he asked Craig, to go sit down and he was going to talk WITH ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This guy, I'm tellin ya, was the most UNPLEASANT and sarcastic person. He gave me an extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely hard time about our age difference, asked if "I" thought there would be that passion and romance once he got to the states, like it was on the "beaches of Negril". I nicely reminded him that I've been coming to Jamaica for over 10 yrs and that I've been back several times since I met Craig in November of 2004. He gave me an extreeeeeeemely hard time about my income. I make WELL over the poverty limits, but he was looking at the paperwork TOTALLY incorrectly and I politely pointed that out to him. When you have your own business, you file differently than any personal income. That's why I had everything stapled together with a BRIGHT pink sticky note, stating the difference. Even making almost $27,000 (not including my child support AND my part-time job) in 2004 was NOT "good enough" in his eyes. He NEVER ever looked at my bank letters, employment letters or child support statement proving the extra income. Never looked at the I-134, just kept going over and over and over again about the 2004 & 2005 income tax info ---which, in fact is OVER the "poverty level" !!! HOPE THIS HELPS.... kelly [/quote] Thanks so much. This has been so much help. I hope I can survive that kind of scrutiny. My fiance been warning me about my so called sharp wit. I hope I can keep my tongue in check. I can see we are going to have one of those odd interviews. Just a lil history on my fiance and I. We met in 2001 in Jamaica at a house party. I was so crazy about her, I was back in Jamaica a couple months later. We used to rack up some $500.00 per month phone bills. The long distance was too much for us and she had no intentions of moving to the US and I had no intention of moving to Jamaica. We were both involved at the time and after a couple visits, the distance got to us and we moved on with our lives. I got marraid. Lasted less than a year because within a couple months I realized that the woman I loved was not the one I was marraid to. My wife then said she always knew, and the divorce was very routine. So I could just see that immigration officer asking me about that since I was marraid for a short time between the time we knew each other. But I guess that may work for us cause we just cannot see ourselves with anyone else even if we wanted to. And we did try. (he he) So my fiance and I were going through the pics and selecting the ones we were taking to the interview. I suggested to her to take the pictures of her and my daughter from Christmas and also some from when my daughter spent the last summer vacation with her. She thought this was silly since they need proof of us together which we already have and she thinks that pics of her with my daughter is not the same. I told her that any man who sends his 7 year old daughter to spend 3 months with a woman in a foreign country must be having a serious relationship with her and that is what we want this immigration officer to see. You know I got the "whatever." So I told her i am going to pass this one by you guys. Any opinion?	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-19 18:00:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	We just found out we have raccoons in the attic......PLEASE tell me Roy isn't going to surprise me for dinner Omigosh! This reminds me, we have a horrible possum problem this year, and they keep eating everything in Lake's garden. He killed a small one, I felt so bad it was just a baby, but he didnt know, he thought it was a big RAT! Anyhow, he TELLS me, if he catches the momma, he is COOKIN HER UP!! Fine fixins in Guyana, Mawerry stew...blecht! i feel sort of lucky i won't have to worry about this kind of stuff...because all mike knows how to cook is eggs and mac and cheese Nannygirl, I guess we should count ourselves lucky. My hubby tells me in Trinidad, SKUNK is considered a delicacy! Trinilad, have you heard of this??? Or is he tellin me a story? Sorry, but that is a story. Now possum is a delicacy and so are iguanas and armadillo (hope I spell that right). Definitely not a skunk. I am not even sure we have any of those back there	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-19 17:29:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	This may be just my day to have a million questions. When I got the NOA2, I noticed that my name was spelt STPHEN instead of STEPHEN. Called the Custumer service number and they said was a clerical error and they will correct it in thier system. They were supposed to send me a letter whwn it was corrected. The notice from NVC has the same misspelling and now I guess Jamaica has the same misspelling. Does anyone anticipate a problem? After all, the approved everything else with all documents showing STEPHEN?	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-19 15:29:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Last minute jitters I guess. OK I-134 question! I finally got my letter from the bank and all they give me is the date opened and current balance. Since I am using my income from my job to to show I meet the income requirements requirements, how important is this bank statement/ letter? I was able to get almost all the statements for the past year showing deposits and withdrawals, but I am not sure what information they are looking at when you have many transactions in one month? Did anyone who had a recent interview had thier bank statement or bank letter scrutinized? Did they actually ask for it after you provided the job letter and tax return or was it just one of those "just in case" documents that you walked with but never actually used? I tell you I am already personally responsible for a forest or two disappearing from the earth and I just do not feel like this last minute rangle with the bank. I have the last three years tax return, the job letter, the last 6 months worth of pay stubs. Am I ok here or am I missing something So I am here going over the last set of documents. It says to bring copies of marraige certificates if applicable. Since I have a divore decree from my previous marraige, I am assuming this is not applicable. Am I correct in my assumption or do I need to go to vital records and get a copy of the marraige certificate even though I have the divorce decree? Just divorce decree. Original document. The one we get from the courts here in Baltimore has the City Seal and a stamp attesting to the fact it is actual copy of divorce decree. I guess that is what they are asking for?	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-19 14:44:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	So I am here going over the last set of documents. It says to bring copies of marraige certificates if applicable. Since I have a divore decree from my previous marraige, I am assuming this is not applicable. Am I correct in my assumption or do I need to go to vital records and get a copy of the marraige certificate even though I have the divorce decree?	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-19 14:32:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Would anyone know if one has a 10 year visitors visa and his seamans visa and is denied for the fiance visa does anything happen to the other two visas he has? My guy, who has these asked if I knew and honestly I don't have any reason why we would be denied but I guess that is a good question to ask just in case. Interesting that you asked. Technically nothing should happen, but it is at the discretion of the US embassy officer. I had a friend of mine who was denied a student visa recently. He still visits the US on his visitor's visa. His sister however who was also denied her student visa had her 10 year visa cancelled by the embassy in Trinidad. Now she cannot visit. I guess if they figure you are a risk, then they have the authority to cancell the other. So there is realy no difinitive answer to that except to say it's at the US consulate discretion.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-18 05:59:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	OK enough potty chat. It's so funny that you said that -- I was just coming on here to ask YOU a question.....this moring Roy says that his "belly is rolling" and he wants some pills (I have no idea what he is talking about -- some root thingie) and Epsom Salt to drink. IS HE CRAZY? What can I get him to "replace" this ####### with? I really don't think he should be drinking Epson Salt...... HELP ME!!! My grandmother had an old recipe for this. She always had a bit of orange peel stuck to the window sill. After it dried, she would let a peice of it sit in a cup of hot water. Drink with no sugar. Used to work. But again could be mind over matter. You know Caribbean people always had thier own medicine. So try the orange peel in some hot water. Does not have to be dried. No sugar. It's the gas. At least that was what my grandmother in Trinidad said.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-17 09:25:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Thank you all for the great advice. So I brought my fiance a long and short coat yesterday and explain to my family that it may be a bit for her so i will take a few items and then after meeting her, they can offer her anything else and see how she responds. This is all new for her and she is such an independent woman. She has never had to depend on anyone for much and this is going to be a challenge until things settle in. Buy you know how love does wonderful things to people. I told her if all else fails, we would walk around naked together until she finds her own clothes. Should have thought about that before I said it cause it's so cold here in Baltimore (he he) Yes, I think I heard enough on this one. Phew! Re hand-me-downs: Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's What?!!! Why must everything be washed seperate? I never heard of that before. Except for the Rasta's who won't wash their clothes w/ the woman's underwear I am afraid of germs, I guess. I just think everyone else is nasty and I am clean. I really cant help it. My company did not install toilet seat liners in the stalls until I clogged the bathroom making my own liners. Americans have a bad habit of squatting in office or public restrooms. Ok on occasion but considering how much time we spend at work, this is very bad to not empty your bladder or whatever else completely. OK enough potty chat. Re hand-me-downs: Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's What?!!! Why must everything be washed seperate? I never heard of that before. Except for the Rasta's who won't wash their clothes w/ the woman's underwear I am afraid of germs, I guess. I just think everyone else is nasty and I am clean. I really cant help it. My company did not install toilet seat liners in the stalls until I clogged the bathroom making my own liners. Americans have a bad habit of squatting in office or public restrooms. Ok on occasion but considering how much time we spend at work, this is very bad to not empty your bladder or whatever else completely. OK enough potty chat. You know this is one of these sights where it is free expression and who am I to be a spoil sport . But the bathroom habits of Americans are a bit much, you think? All right. There goes my breakfast!	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-17 08:11:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	One other question. So I went to dinner with my family last week. We are discussing my fiance moving here and everyone is so excited about it. My sister calls today and says she will bring over some coats and sweaters and boots since she and my fiance wear the same size. My grandmother leaves me a voice mail and say that she has some stuff too. My family are pricey shoppers so I know they will be giving her some good stuff cause they like to show off like that. So I was talking to my fiance about this a couple weeks ago and told her that they might have done this. Her response was that she does not like hand me downs and not a charity case. It is not that we cannot afford to buy her winter clothes cause I made provisions for this. But I figure why turn away gifts that are given with the best of intentions. I am not one to get into a pissing match over something like this. I just do not want to offend my family, but I have a woman who has intense pride.( Yes, something to work on). I wish someone was this generous to me when I came here years ago with a sweater during a blizzard. Is it a man's thing that we will accept gifts like this, but women have difficulty doing this? Or am I marrying the exception to the rule here?	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 19:27:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	So ladies I need your help. Interview is in two weeks and I figure we'd be back here a week after that. You know how people from the tropics do not fully appreciate what winter is like. Well I was trying to explain to my fiance that her Jamaican wardrobe will not fit into a US winter. Me and my big mouth. So I have to do some shopping to at least allow her to survive the first couple days after we return until she goes shopping for herself. My friends at work try to give me the 101 about buying a woman a coat. Right now I just want to get her two. What would you suggest are safe bets. The only woman I shop for is a 7 year old who thinks everything I buy is cute. I can buy my woman underwear and sexy lingere, but I seem to be coming up blank on the coats thing. Damn, I knew I was a bit rusty, but this is like rocket science. I just go with what looks good, but my co workers say that will not do. [quote name='Jamaica to CT' date='Oct 15 2006, 07:16 PM' post='507777'] My issue with the club at the time had to do with her safety . She lost someone in her family because of violence at a club. I was not thrilled with her going because of that. But it was her decision to make. I expressed my view and allowed her to make her own decision. Hope that clarifies.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 19:09:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	That is why I love you all. Get my Sunday morning sermon right at my desk. And do I get an Amen! See I understand what you ladies are saying and maybe one of these days, faced with this scenario, I may scream and show my manly stupidity. I guess we can all preach in the shelter of our so called "educated consciousness" because it sounds like the ideal and I am going to be guilty of that a few times. But faced with this scenarion, all that well learned attitude may go out the window. Trust me, I will do what I must to protect my investment. I guess for me , I am at a point in my life where i do not feel like dealing with all the drama associated with getting my SO to follow the straight and narrow path. I am marrying a jamaican woman who once upon a time lived the life. Maybe her new disposition is a facade. But maybe it is real. But we have a trust in each other that came out of great sacrifice. The ability to let go and let be, has allowed me to survive the waters that separate us. Come November 5th that may all change and I will keep you ladies posted. For now, I say Amen!	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 08:37:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Hello! So...I have a question for all of you. Does your husband go out to night clubs without you? Are you okay with that? The reason I ask is because Duane was a DJ back in JA. He really misses playing music so he hooked up with a local DJ and he goes out every Thursday to play. I am totally okay with that. On occasion, we go out on Friday or Saturday night also. This weekend, I was asked to work overtime both days and I agreed because we really need the money. I just got home after working all day and Duane says he wants to go out tonight...I am completely wiped out and was hoping we would have a quiet evening in since I need to get up and be back at work at 7:00am.....We went to dinner and a movie last night....... When I tell him this, he says that he would like to go by himself.....I was like......#######!!! I understand that he wants to get out the house but I feel like he is being kinda selfish considering the fact that I am working so "we" can have food on the table. Am I being wrong to feel this way???? Do married folks really go to clubs by themselves?? If so, why??? I understand that we all need our space but I kinda feel like this is a slap in the face. I work all freaking weekend so he can go out and play....Oh yes...and pay $10.00 cover charge and 15.00 taxi fare......Why can't we have a nice evening in??? Okay.....I am done venting but really...I need you to chime in here...am I being crazy??? Hey Kim! I don't think you are wrong or crazy feeling that way. My personal opinion...married people do not go to clubs by themselves. That is just asking for trouble even though that person is not really looking for it. A guy's night out to play soccer, poker etc... okay. Clubs, too much happens. Just my opinion. I am not sure I agree with this one . Kim does not appear that she has a trust issue here and that is something that must be applauded. Look, the man is not going to the clubs to pick up chicks or sow his wild oats. It is a pastime that he enjoys. This is his craft. A chef will enjoy a food show, a fashion designer will enjoy a fashion show. Is it wrong for them to go without thier significant other? So why should it be different for him being a DJ? His craft just happens to be on display at a club. Do not punish him for that. Even if we can put that aside for a moment, so long as there is open communication here about what goes on there and so long as this is not an everynight thing then and you trust your significant other, then let it be. Now a strip club may be a different story. See, there is a recipe for conflict when we find significant others ,accept them with thier unusual traits and then expect them to understand that we suddenly want them to drop those traits. Kim wants her TLC moment. But she wants her man to be able to do his thing. She is going to have to find a middle ground here. Putting your TLC moment against time with the fellas is not a good move. Helping him appreciate that TLC moment in a non combative manner is not a difficult task. Men do not like to be "disciplined" or to be told what they can and cannot do. Unless it is a trust issue, these are moments that you "educate" your significant other with the delicacy, the sweetness and the knowledge that only you as a woman can. He would one day look forward to those TLC moments. Taking away his BS time with the guys will not help. Some relationships are good, and some are damn good and then some are just great. Kim seems to have one of these. Just work on it. Remember, some battles are won without a single shot being fired. Pick your fights. This is not one of them. There are some places that are acceptable to go and others not acceptable. So if your wife wanted to go to a club with her girlfriends you would not have a problem? And if the next weekend she wanted to go with her girlfriends again, there would not be a problem? Sorry I do not agree with you. Booze, the opposite sex, Jamaican accent.... No way... Again just my opinion. Why ask for trouble. I am not advocating letting my significant other go to the clubs every weekend and not be concerned. My concern will more be that we need some time together and we are going to have to compromise on the every weekend scenario. In a non confrontational manner , I would suggest other things we can do together and with time I beleive she will come around. But I am doing this because of the time I want with her, not because I think that the triple cocktail of "opposit sex, Jamaican accent and booze" will cause her to stray. I am not sure that after the "I Do" is the time for that discussion however. That should have been chapter 1, we are at 10 now. See I am not assuming the responsibility of being someone's parent when I marry them. I should be able to tell by the time I pop the question whether my significant other is a every weekend club girl. My fiance was quite into the clubs a while back. She realized that I was not thrilled about the idea. When she asked me about going, I told her, "You are a grown woman and you have a decision to make. i am not your father telling you what to do. I would prefer you not go and I would not be happy if you did." For the past two years, her only visits to the club were when I went to Jamaica. She was not willing to risk our relationship for a night out at the club. Would I have walked away if she went?NO. But I expressed my feelings about it not out of control, but because club was not my thing. She understood and out of respect she made a decision. Relationships to me are not about cleaning people up and bringing them in line. I know what I am willing to accept and I convey that to my significant other. She has a decision to make and I will not force it on her. Your man wants to go to the club. If the issue is you do not trust your man, then the club is not your problem, he is. If the issue is that you think that lifestyle disrespects you as a woman, then let that be it and that is what you convey to him. But when you are dealing with issues of this nature, make sure you are dealing with the underlying malaise directly and not mask what may very well be some other deep seated fear that needs to be addressed in another manner.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 08:23:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	[quote name='wynterstail' date='Oct 15 2006, 08:29 AM' post='507100'] Hi Kim I agree with Trini--with a couple of reservations. Staying out all night is not cool. And many a night hanging with boys includes some females on the fringes. Often the kind of females that have no problem at all if he's married, a priest, got tuberculosis, cooties, whatever. I agree with making sure he knows he's got a little somethin somethin waiting for him when he gets home. WHat I know doesn't work is bitching, screaming, and confronting. I know I am going to get my head blown off for this but what the heck. I have a major issue with this perception we have of men being helpless, no brainers who women cast spell on and they like zombies just fall in line. A man goes to a club, a woman comes on to him. Whether she is naked, fully clothe, pepsi cola shaped or otherwise, he has a decision to make as to what action he must take. So what if a woman has no problem with he being marraid, or engaged or otherwise. He is the one who has to say NO!. Give us some credit that we can in the face of temptation , we can walk away. If you have to keep your eyes on your man because you figure some woman will make him stray, then put him on a leash and give him a chastity belt and swallow the key. See the almighty in his ultimate wisdom, bestowed on the human race a gift that I am not sure all of God's creatures receive in equl measure. The gift of CHOICE. No woman or man can make a choice for us . I take that back. We should not allow another woman or man to make a choice for us. This thing called trust says to me that if my significant other cannot be trusted to walk away from temptation then my significant other cannot be trusted and my relationship has a "just of matter of time" shelf life. I do not want someone in my life that I feel must be protected from the alluring eyes of my competition. In fact, I want to believe that I DO NOT have competition. I am NOT competing for the affection of my significant other. I did that when we were deciding to become exclusive. When we are exclusive, that is understood that other people are off limits. If that knowledge is still missing, then we need some education and locking you up at home and keeping 24/7 eyes will not do the trick. That is putting a band aid on a gaping wound that needs surgery. So if the man/ woman needs to be sheilded from the temptations out there, then by all means, do so and pray for an extension on the shelf life. Otherwise let them be and they will do right. If they are gonna stray, they will stray. If I have to worry about what my significant other is doing every damn time they go to a club or otherwise, then I am going to be in perpetual misery. I personally do not have the stomach for that . I will help them pack and go thier merry way.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 07:58:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I think that going to a bar with the boys and shooting the breeze and going to a club with the boys are two different things. I agree that he should have some "alone" time. Some clubs have rep's; bars too for that matter; for being "pick-up joints" and so I would have to say I wouldn't be comfortable with him going there. If he's going to be on the floor dancing in shall I say close contact with women, to me that is inviting trouble. Depending on the type of club you're going to women can be attracted to the "thug appeal", which I don't get the impression that Duane is; and some will be looking for a potential husband or a "nice guy"and some women don't care less about the man's current marital status. I would feel uncomfortable even if I trusted him. Some men can get "bamboozled" without realizing it. On the other hand I know women who don't care if their husbands go to strip clubs on a regular basis without them. However if he's going there to work as a DJ; or observe how to break into the business-well that is different. Musicians wifes/girlfriends etc. - I don't think I could do it again:no: . My hat goes out to those who don't have a problem with it. I don't feel that there's anyone's feelings on a matter are "wrong". It's just how you feel about a situation; more than likely based on past expericences or inexperiences(if I knew then what I know now-kind of thing). Everyone have a great Sunday. It's too cold here in CT, ugh. If a man is gonna stray, he is gonna stray. But as you said, our experiences educate us. I guess my perception of trust may be different from some. No wrong answer.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 07:26:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Hello! So...I have a question for all of you. Does your husband go out to night clubs without you? Are you okay with that? The reason I ask is because Duane was a DJ back in JA. He really misses playing music so he hooked up with a local DJ and he goes out every Thursday to play. I am totally okay with that. On occasion, we go out on Friday or Saturday night also. This weekend, I was asked to work overtime both days and I agreed because we really need the money. I just got home after working all day and Duane says he wants to go out tonight...I am completely wiped out and was hoping we would have a quiet evening in since I need to get up and be back at work at 7:00am.....We went to dinner and a movie last night....... When I tell him this, he says that he would like to go by himself.....I was like......#######!!! I understand that he wants to get out the house but I feel like he is being kinda selfish considering the fact that I am working so "we" can have food on the table. Am I being wrong to feel this way???? Do married folks really go to clubs by themselves?? If so, why??? I understand that we all need our space but I kinda feel like this is a slap in the face. I work all freaking weekend so he can go out and play....Oh yes...and pay $10.00 cover charge and 15.00 taxi fare......Why can't we have a nice evening in??? Okay.....I am done venting but really...I need you to chime in here...am I being crazy??? Hey Kim! I don't think you are wrong or crazy feeling that way. My personal opinion...married people do not go to clubs by themselves. That is just asking for trouble even though that person is not really looking for it. A guy's night out to play soccer, poker etc... okay. Clubs, too much happens. Just my opinion. I am not sure I agree with this one . Kim does not appear that she has a trust issue here and that is something that must be applauded. Look, the man is not going to the clubs to pick up chicks or sow his wild oats. It is a pastime that he enjoys. This is his craft. A chef will enjoy a food show, a fashion designer will enjoy a fashion show. Is it wrong for them to go without thier significant other? So why should it be different for him being a DJ? His craft just happens to be on display at a club. Do not punish him for that. Even if we can put that aside for a moment, so long as there is open communication here about what goes on there and so long as this is not an everynight thing then and you trust your significant other, then let it be. Now a strip club may be a different story. See, there is a recipe for conflict when we find significant others ,accept them with thier unusual traits and then expect them to understand that we suddenly want them to drop those traits. Kim wants her TLC moment. But she wants her man to be able to do his thing. She is going to have to find a middle ground here. Putting your TLC moment against time with the fellas is not a good move. Helping him appreciate that TLC moment in a non combative manner is not a difficult task. Men do not like to be "disciplined" or to be told what they can and cannot do. Unless it is a trust issue, these are moments that you "educate" your significant other with the delicacy, the sweetness and the knowledge that only you as a woman can. He would one day look forward to those TLC moments. Taking away his BS time with the guys will not help. Some relationships are good, and some are damn good and then some are just great. Kim seems to have one of these. Just work on it. Remember, some battles are won without a single shot being fired. Pick your fights. This is not one of them.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 06:56:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Hello! So...I have a question for all of you. Does your husband go out to night clubs without you? Are you okay with that? The reason I ask is because Duane was a DJ back in JA. He really misses playing music so he hooked up with a local DJ and he goes out every Thursday to play. I am totally okay with that. On occasion, we go out on Friday or Saturday night also. This weekend, I was asked to work overtime both days and I agreed because we really need the money. I just got home after working all day and Duane says he wants to go out tonight...I am completely wiped out and was hoping we would have a quiet evening in since I need to get up and be back at work at 7:00am.....We went to dinner and a movie last night....... When I tell him this, he says that he would like to go by himself.....I was like......#######!!! I understand that he wants to get out the house but I feel like he is being kinda selfish considering the fact that I am working so "we" can have food on the table. Am I being wrong to feel this way???? Do married folks really go to clubs by themselves?? If so, why??? I understand that we all need our space but I kinda feel like this is a slap in the face. I work all freaking weekend so he can go out and play....Oh yes...and pay $10.00 cover charge and 15.00 taxi fare......Why can't we have a nice evening in??? Okay.....I am done venting but really...I need you to chime in here...am I being crazy??? Not crazy babes. Just being human. We work hard men and women and expect our significant other to appreciate it. It's hard sometimes to see them just relaxing when we are burning the oil and bringing home the bacon. But you have to let him go do what he enjoys. Maybe you can establish a routine of a day in the week that is yours exclusively. That being the day when you get his undivided attention. There is a certain comradre a man feels hanging with the fellas and it's just one of those things where we talk a whole lot of BS and be our stupid selves. Like you ladies have when you get together with the girl friends and talk in that language that we men cannot understand. As a man, I would prefer not to share that moment with my woman and would not necessarily want her to share my BS moment with the fellas.He loves you and you trust him to go out alone and that is something that a lot of women cannot count on. That being said, tell him you will have something special waiting if he comes home early from hanging with the guys. Then you will understand the power of a woman. It's one of those gifts you have that we men are powerless against. You are going to have your day. Continue being your loving self and the appeal of the BS moment with the guys will eventually lose it's attractiveness. On one of those tender moments when you have him under your spell, remind him how appreciative you will be if when you work OT , you can come home and get some TLC. And then whenever OT time comes around, just remind him again and let him make his own decision. You have persuasive skills, use them. You will win in the end, trust me. For now just chalk this up as one of those marital differences that will take some time to work out. Definitely not one worth losing sleep over and not one deserving of a shouting match. Give him his space cause that peace of mind and independent feeling he has now is valuable.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-15 06:38:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	[ Now, I wonder what I can do, we haven't even filed for AOS. I just spoke with my client that works for immigration and she says she sees this ALL of the time. I emailed my lawyer to ask if I can get an anulment. Do I do this on my own, like would "I" need Craig to be there for any divorce/anulment proceedings???? Again, please keep the info coming!!!!!!!! [/quote] Annulment are hard to get. You have to prove fraudulent intent. It is possible. There is no short cut on the divorce because you just got marraid. The annulment might be your option but it is hard to prove and Maryland Corts frown upon it.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-12 09:19:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Luvtravilin: my prayers are with you and I kid you not that this is the kind of stuff that can make you lose your mind. State of MD requires you to be separated for at least a year before you can file for a divore so you are in a bind there. The best you can do at this time is go your separate ways, file for separation which really has no legal status except to establish a separation date. The concern however is the legal ramifications of the affidavit of support. I know uncle Sam technically will not enforce it, but this is where you just pray for the best. Since you have not filed for him, he would in a couple months be out of status and he will have to deal with that when the time comes. You made a mistake. Do not be the woman scorned and try to make his life a living hell. Say goodbye and wish him well. I can tolerate the chewing of the chicken bones, or the walking around in briefs etc, but this is taking the ###### too far. You know I am always one to advocate the "love will conquer all " philosophy. But you have already said that it is over. Make it so! Let him know NOW so that he will have ample time to make a decision as to what he wants to do with his status. Do not use the going back to Jamaica as a bargaining tool to get him to fall in line. Treat this as any other relationship and that is you want to get out because the man is disrecpecting you and you do not trust him. No offence to the ladies on here, but you know the allure of the strong hard back Jamaican man can be a bit powerful. You are not the only woman who will be attracted to your man and that is a facty ou have to face. we are not the only ones who see the "majic" in our significant others. The co- worker is doing nothing that any other woman will not do. She likes your man and he is the one who has to put her in check. He must be encouraging her and that is where I have a problem. My fiance and I had a good laugh the other day about one of my co workers who was attracted to me and despite the fact that I told her I was engaged she persist. I took her to HR and suffice to say my company has a vacancy. The women on here have men that I bet you get women looking at them everyday. I am sure each of you have a story to tell. But those stories do not end like this..........	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-12 08:51:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	NEW TOPIC ....... Okay, how do "I" handle, take or whatever THIS situation ???????????? I would LOVE to get Trin (or any guys)... point of view as well !!! Sorry to say, I just do NOT trust Craig (great for a marriage, huh?)!!!.....because he just continues to lie (which he doesn't *think* is a lie) ....anyway, I went in his pants pocket last night and there was a phone number ....her name is SWEETS. So I called it (..blocked my number, just to verify it was a chic) and it was. Then there was also the number of the other "friend" which I guess "I" hoped (even though I KNOW it hasn't been) taken care of. So I started to wash the "dark" clothes and I said, Craig would you like me to wash the jeans that you've been wearing all week? and he says, yeah that would be good and I said, don't forget to clean out your pockets (I had the 2 numbers in MY pocket) and then "I" turn "B" on him and he's like what's wrong.........so I say something about this girls number in his pocket. HE SAYS, she slipped in in there!!!!!!!!! My son was still awake and I did EVERYthing in my power NOT to go postal on him !!!!!!!!! I said, we'll talk when Austin goes to sleep. So we did, NOT pretty. This is a girl he's been working with.............I was like YOU are a GROWN man, WHEN she gave you the number, you should have handed it back and said, no thank you!!!!! SO, my question to you all.............should "I" be upset that he has a girls number because she's a co-worker??? I mean I'm not being naive about this. Trust me, I'm at my boiling point. Should "I" call her and ask to what extent their relationship is?? Should "I" be pissed? Do I just let it go?? Does Craig REALLY "need" to make friends with a woman and someone that "I" don't know??? I have a TON of guy friends, but....he's met EVERY one of them and that was within the 1st week of him being here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've now taken away his cell phone (which was an extra pre-paid phone my son lent him) because I don't TRUST the phone calls that are being made, received, etc. I told him last night, if "he" WANTS a "real" phone..........than GO AND BUY YOUR OWN !!!! He told me that someone at work (a female) was going to put him on HER family plan and I was like, nooooooooo YOU go and GET your OWN phone !!!!! He STILL continues to say that the other chic is a "friend".....don't believe him there either. I told him that this relationship is a TOTAL joke because he does NOT respect me OR my son. That HE is the one f-g up MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!! Please chime in EVERYONE ...........how would YOU GUYS handle this situation ???!!! Thanks! Frustrated, pissed, ready to LOSE my mind, etc etc etc I'm TRYING to keep that "happy face" in front of my son, because if he sees me pissed off at Craig, those that have kids know, they go into PROTECT mommy mode !!!!! I feel you on this one. This is where Air Jamaica comes in. There are some lines you do not cross. Trust is a vital part of any relationship. We have a saying in the islands "Monkey's know which trees to climb." Craig knows you will rant and rave but you will never want to admit that you know he is being dishonest and take action on it. I am not sure the extent of the relationship, but it suggest to me that he has not matured enough to understand what an exclusive relationship means. It means that he has to take the responsibility to set that woman straigh. That is not your job. I see women get into fights with other women over men. Do not get yourself to that point where you have to set a woman straight about your man. It may be a flirtatious thing, him liking the attention and I would have gone with that for a while. But you see that line about the friend at work putting him on her family plan, that is a slap in the face. It is insulting, demeaning, it smacks of lack of respect. You are already pissed about the phone number and he pulls some ###### like that? I am not sure there is enough left to salvage here. The disrespect is just unacceptable and he is not getting the picture. He is working, therefore he could afford a ticket back home or he could afford to stay here on his own. Unfortumnately that is a call he would have to make. But the call you have to make at this time is how soon does he leave. Do not get into the pissing match with the girlfriend, or the explanations from him. You know what is happening. Your man is disrespecting you and he is trying to make a fool of you. Treat him like you would any man who is cheating. Visa or no visa, this is a straight forward case.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-12 08:35:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later. And this is where that great big ball of patience comes in. Take the "going back to Jamaica" line off the table. Work on the shirt situation a bit cause you really have to. But remember your appointment tomorrow. After it is over.....a cold glass of wine, some good old fashioned loving and this too shall pass. Hey, just one more story to talk about when you are celebrating that 10 year anniversary. Bet it is going to seem very funny then.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-11 19:42:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	In response to the question. I was actually the foreign born fiance when I first moved here. I think I was totally unprepared for Life in the United States hence things did not work out. It is that experience I think that prepares me to now actually bring a fiance to the uS and really make it a successful transition. The problem really is not so much where you are from, it is more about being prepared for the adjustment and the lifestyle changes that follow. If fiance's are not prepared, there are going to be problems. But love does wonderful things to some of us and we live to tell the story afterwards,.....sometimes like me..with nothing but a smile! Trinilad, thank you so much for the male perspective. I was actually surprised at your insight. My father and every other Trini I know is so education and hard work focused, I have a hard time thinking they would struggle with the same issues as Jamaicans. Guess that was pretty arrogant of me - the issues are obviously universal. You mentioned you are no longer with your 1st wife - if its not to personal, is it because of the problems associated with you moving here?	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-10 18:18:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	A FRIEND OF MINE WHO HAD A SUCCESSFUL INTERVIEW RECENTLY SENT ME THIS. I AM NOT SURE WHERE SHE GOT IT FROM BUT IT MAKES INTERESTING READING AND I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU GUYS WHO ARE PREPARING FOR AN INTERVIEW LIKE MYSELF. A BIT LONG! Interview Questions Just giving an answer to an interview question is not enough, it needs to be the answer the embassy personnel want to hear from you. Going to an Embassy Interview is more like taking a test than it is an interview. It demands advanced knowledge about the questions and the corresponding answers you will give. Advance self-preparation is a must. This book is for those of you about to experience it for yourselves. The questions listed below as well as the answers are examples of questions you may experience during the interview. The purpose of these examples is to guide you in your self-preparation towards your own Embassy Interview. Good luck! QuestionS 1. Of all the people in the world, why do you choose to be engaged with a foreigner? Answer: I chose someone whom I will love and who will love me in return. I don’t care if he/she is from my own country or not. I love him/her and want to spend the rest of my life with him/her. Tip: Explain clearly your reason why you choose to be with your fiancée or spouse. If possible you can also state the good qualities that you find in him/her that give you a reason why you want to be with him/her. 2. How did you meet your fiancée? Answer: I met my fiancée when he came to visit me in Ukraine. Tip: State the specific place where you met your fiancée in person. 3. How long have you been engaged with each other? Answer: We have been engaged for 6 months now. Tip: Be honest to tell the answers because if the Interviewer would find out that you lie about something, it could be an automatic reason for your visa denial. (See below) 4. Do you think in that length of time, you know him well enough to marry him? Answer: Yes Tip: Sometimes Interviewers are going to make a follow-up question after you give an answer. Be sure you are ready to support your answers with facts concerning how well you have known your fiancée. Including personal facts regarding your fiancée (e.g. birth date, age, status, etc….). 5. Has your fiancée met your family? What did your family think about your fiancée? Answer: Yes, my family has met my fiancée in person. They like him because he displayed good qualities. They admire his kindness and sincerity as well. Tip: Be honest. Try to be positive in giving descriptions about your fiancée. 6. Has your fiancée been married before? How many times? Answer: Yes. He/She was married once but got divorced. Tip: When the Consul will ask you these questions prepare yourself about some facts that he/she might ask like: What year did he got his divorce? Do you know the name of his/her former spouse? 7. Does he/she have children from his/her previous marriage/s? If yes, can you please give the names of the children? Answer: Yes, they are _________, _________ and _________. Tip: Be sure to know the names of the children and their ages if your fiancée/spouse children from his/her previous marriages as this will help the Consul determine how you know your fiancée and if your relationship is based on total honesty. 8. How does your fiancée earn a living? Where is his/her business based? Answer: He is a small business owner engaged in sales and his business is based in Anchorage, Alaska. Tip: Be sure to know in advance what your fiancée does for a living, where his work is located, and his income amount. 9. If you are granted a fiancée visa, are you planning to work in the US when you arrive? Answer: No. I am going to the US to join my fiancée, get married and stay with him. Maybe later, I can apply for an Employment Authorization, but working is not my main purpose for going to the US. Tip: Be sure to say NO to this question. If you say yes, the Consul or the Interviewing Officer may have a reason to deny your fiancée visa and require that you apply for a work visa instead. They might think that you are using the Fiancée visa in order to get work in the US. 10. Are you planning to study in the US? Why or Why not? Answer: NO. My reason for coming to the US is to be with my fiancée because we love one another. Tip: Say NO to this question. If ever you say yes, the Consul or the Interviewing Officer may have a reason to deny your fiancée visa and require that you apply for a student visa instead. They might think that you are using the Fiancée visa in order to get an education in the US. 11. What is your fiancée’s highest educational attainment? How about you? Answer: His highest educational attainment is high school and mine is college. Tip: Be sure you know the answer to this question. Some people forget to ask their fiancée this question and in the event that they were asked they can’t answer it. It leads to a doubt in the Interviewer’s mind as whether you really know your fiancée or not. 12. How often did your fiancée come to visit you? When? Answer: He came to visit me once and it was last January 11, 2004 Tip: Familiarize yourself with the things you did, when your fiancée came to visit you. It is also best if you can remember the exact dates that he/she came to your place country or you to his and when he or you returned home. 13. How long did your fiancée stay? Answer: He/She stayed for one week. It was from January 11, 2004- January 17, 2004 Tip: Be specific about the important dates. These dates should correspond with the dates on your fiancée’s airline tickets, itinerary and passport. 14. Why do you want to go to the United States? Answer: To be with my fiancée and get married. Tip: You should take note that your petition is a Fiancée/Spouse Petition which if granted would give you the reason to come to the United States to be with your fiancée/spouse and be married. Do not mention any other reason other than this, as this can lead the Interviewers to doubt your true reason for coming to the United States. 15. If you are granted a visa, do you wish to stay in the United States and be an American citizen? Why or Why not? Answer: Whether you answer yes or No it doesn’t matter but just be ready to support your answer. Tip: Before going to the interview, you should give yourself the opportunity to think of an answer to this question so you will be ready. 16. Do you have plans of migrating to America and petitioning your relatives in your native country? Why or Why not? Answer: You have the choice to say yes or No to this question. Make sure you will be able to support your answer. Tip: Before going to the interview, you should give yourself the opportunity to think of an answer to this question so you will be ready. 17. What kind of life do you expect to live when you go in the United States? Answer: My expectation is that I need to adjust myself to the culture, climate, people and especially my new family. It may be difficult to relate to people because I need to learn more American English, since I am from a non-English speaking country. Tip: Be sure to think about your expectations now. When you answer this question, it doesn’t mean you have to point out the positive expectations only. Mention the negative expectations as well. There is nothing wrong with being realistic with what your expectations of life in the United States might be. These questions may seem simplistic from an everyday point of view, but many visa’s have been denied because the beneficiary was not prepared and gave a seemingly innocent answer, only to find their visa had been denied based on the answers given. With attention to detail and knowledge contained in this guide, you should do fine. Congratulations on your relationship and best of luck in your interview!	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-10 18:05:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I truly beleive in a plan too. Thanks for sharing Trinlad! We have a plan in place for him to get GED and take Junior college courses at the same time so he can be on the soccer team. He also will have music lessons and hopefull this will help in making friends. I just organized my closet and threw out clothes and bought him 2 dressers which he helped me out in picking one. I am starting to buy clothes for the different season and when it gets closer I am making dates for him with friends he knows up here from the first couple months. I am also trying to see if my Aunt can get him a job at the college part time. He meet her at our wedding in JA. The best thing is my family is really tight and if we don't go to bears games we always have Sunday dinner. My parents seemed to love my hubby a lot and so did my aunts and uncles. I am just glad I also have an understanding family. We are one of those like u said in the carribean if u dont have a job for awhile we will still provide u with a meal and a rough over your head. Also with the money thing we know we split my pay even with whatever is left for our own items. We have been planning for the past 8 years and I hope being so slow at the process will help him feel more like home. I love the thing about having pictures up and everything. I let him pick out the color for our bedroom and we came up for the paint choice for the spare bedroom together already and I have sent him pictures of the condo so I am hoping this will help at all. I understand about the whole teaching thing since I am a teacher in the states and applied for a job in JA and they were all over me with even a bacholers at the time highly quailfied. I know from my friends who teach who are all graduates of Sam Sharpe teachers College (hehe Michele) (Yes I have taught there and done seminars). My friends have checked out teaching options here in the states and they need to complete 2 more years of college and would have to take the state test to get their teaching degree and licenses. I hope she is still able to teach some like tutor on the side to make some money. All the best. Thanks for all the info Trinlad again! [/quote] Glad to hear I was not crazy for putting those pictures up. On my last two trips to Jamaica, I brought back my fiance's stuff. Some clothes, pocket books and tons of shoes. My father was concerned when he came to my house recently and saw them in the new closets I built. I guess he thought I was cross dressing. (he he). But I want when she walks in here in a couple weeks, she would feel like she lived here. Moving from Blue and Black living room furniture to off white has been a challenge for me and the yellow color paint in the bedroom that replaced the sky blue has taken a toll on me. But I feel I have asked this woman to do a lot. She gave up her apartment, sold all her furniture, pretty much quit her job and tool two months of vaccination shots so we can be together. We got the same advice about the teaching. We had her transcript evaluated and we applied to the colleges in the area with teaching programs. We have selected the one that is going to give her the most transfer credits. The issue is the out of state tuition rate we are working around. That applies here in the first year. I work at a college that does not offer an education degree so we decided that since it will be free for her, she will take her general education requirement courses there and transfer them to the 4 year college after 1 semester since we were able to convince them to give us in state in 6 months. The state of MD will allow her to take a teaching assistant position so that will be a good start. Juggling work with school may be a challenge for her so we decided that the first semester here will be school and no work if she wants to. Sounds like I am crazy I know? But it is the only plan that will work cause getting that degree for her is top priority right now. This thing takes planning and I feel like I have another job with the check list etc.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2006-10-08 07:15:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I for one will be waiting up until the 90 days to marry Marlon but he wants to marry as soon as he gets here so he will be able to work sooner. I want to wait to be sure I can save a little money for a nice little wedding as well as look for a nicer and bigger apartment. Good compromise would be to let him enter throgh JFK so that he gets a work permit when he gets here. They are good for 90 days. Or maybe do not have him come here as soon as he gets the visa. Work on the stuff you need to work on and then have him come to the US before the visa expires. If I am not mistaken, you need to be marraid within 90 days of his arrival, not 90 days of the visa. In that way so long as he is here before the visa expires, you will still have time to save up for the big wedding without having him just sitting here doing nothing. You know how Jamaican men can be a bit proud. That is some sound advice, thanks for that! Your wisdom and experience are always appreciated! As far as a big wedding, eh, I am just going to do the courthouse thing for $50.00 and I can have as many people attend as I want and can decorate as well. A bigger wedding will happen later God willing. My best friend is going to throw the reception for me and I have some great co-workers who want to plan something as well. So therefore I have decided to marry shortly after he arrives with his visa and go from there. I guess I am having pre-wedding jitters! lol Thanks again for your input and I am sure I will be asking many more questions and or needing advice! I love my VJ Yardie family! Trust me the $250.00 we spent on our wedding was a steal of a deal. My wife got her green card in 90 days and we are still enjoying the honeymoon. Do what makes you comfortable . Get the big wedding later after you get immigration off your back.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-04 21:28:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Also, you are giving ANY (young) Jamaican THEIR LIFE DREAM, to come here to the states and have someone pay for their OWN place, food, lights, cable ...actually anything and to NOT HAVE to "live like the family" they KNEW they were coming here to do in the 1st place??????????????? Just sounds crazy to me !!!! Just my honest opinion from someone who has been there and done that !!!!! Who are you marrying your family or your fiance?? I can't take this anymore. Why do you insist on thinking that every Jamaican is as worthless as the man you married??? You are a trip!!!! I am sick and tired of reading your whining!!!! GET DIVORCED and get over yourself!!!!!! More reasons for you to all dislike me now. I am a YOUNG Jamaican, with 2 degrees (I have proof!) and I have owned my own home for the last 4.5 years that my American husband and I are going to move into (we curently live in his in Ct but we are moving to Atl). I have shown some of these posts to my husband and his response: "Now you know why I did not marry an American woman." Drama! Drama! Drama! I am sorry if I have offended some of you but I am a fiercely proud Jamaican and I DO NOT like some of the negative insinuations and false generalizations! This is the last time I will visit this forum. It is supposed to be of some assistance to the people going through this process but it has evolved into something else... and it is VILE! One Love! I feel you . Do not give up on the people on here. Sometimes love makes us do odd things and I think some people just get a bit carried away. i agree that not every Jamaican dreaming of the streets paved with gold. I think the comments just got ahead of her.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-04 21:26:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	You know how Jamaican men can be a bit proud. A bit, is an understatement. I made a very big mistake waiting and assuming everthing would go smoothly for us. I wish I had paid the extra money foy my hubby to fly through JFK and get that stamp. or at least filed for his work permit right away. It would have saved us. him soo much heart ache. I'm really glad I found this website, cause i am learning so much from those before me. The whole having to wait to work thing really bothers both me and Evan so that was yet another reason that we decided to get married now and file the Cr1. We just want to get the paperwork out of the way, so that when he gets here we can get straight to it.....to our new lives togther, free from the stress of immigration papers all the time. Trust me, the wait is not long on a K-i. My fiance came through JFK in Nov and got a work permit for 90 days. She started working one month after she arrived and got her green card within the 90 days so there was no break in employment. You follow the instructions and you will not have any problems on a K-1 getting to work when they get here. The wait is shorter anyway.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-04 21:23:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	If I was the Jamaican fiance and you came to me with a proposal like this............you will get a rather rude crash course in Jamaican patois and it would not sound good. Why are we able to find humour in the most serious of circumstances? I love this thread. You know I could not say what I really wanted to, I may not be allowed to come back here. I try not to say too much on here but I could not help this one.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-04 16:12:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I for one will be waiting up until the 90 days to marry Marlon but he wants to marry as soon as he gets here so he will be able to work sooner. I want to wait to be sure I can save a little money for a nice little wedding as well as look for a nicer and bigger apartment. Good compromise would be to let him enter throgh JFK so that he gets a work permit when he gets here. They are good for 90 days. Or maybe do not have him come here as soon as he gets the visa. Work on the stuff you need to work on and then have him come to the US before the visa expires. If I am not mistaken, you need to be marraid within 90 days of his arrival, not 90 days of the visa. In that way so long as he is here before the visa expires, you will still have time to save up for the big wedding without having him just sitting here doing nothing. You know how Jamaican men can be a bit proud.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-04 16:07:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Hey VJ Family! I got in last night from Jamaica and felt a serious sense of sadness pulling up in my driveway without my honey! The trip was extremely successful, we got approved for the visa, I got to know his family a lot better, and my daughter was able to spend time with my honey to develop a relationship with him prior to him coming here. I was hoping that he would be able to come back with us, but our interview was on 3/27 and of course the visa didn't come in time.... based on all that I have read, and the experience Texas Bound is having, I don't expect him before the beginning of May.... which is probably for the best, because I have some preparations to make.... Ok... I've been gone for over a week, so I've read all of the posts to catch up.... so, I will first describe my experience with the interview, and then would like to comment on some topics discussed.... Our interview was very straight forward, no nastiness like what Ricardo faced! Section A she asked for all of the documents.... didn't specify which documents, and because of everyone else posting their experiences, I was prepared with all of my documents, from the 157, 157K, 230 Pt. 1 &2, Affidavit of support, all supporting financial documentation, Notarized letter of intent from me, his No-Impediment, Police Record, Birth Certificate, Passport Photos, Receipt from paymaster..... everything was in an envelope in a logical order. So when she asked for it, I pulled it out and handed it to her. She went through everything, checking off on her list as she looked at the paperwork. No Problem.... Then at the next window they took his fingerprints.... no problem. Third window.... interview. The lady asked him basic questions about me, asked him to write my name, and asked to see pictures.... no problem. It was nothing like what I had prepared myself for... I think it just boils down to who you get as the interviewer.... and being prepared for anything!After the interview, we were able to spend a wonderful week together.... no complaints, no problems... his family was so gracious and welcoming (we stayed with his mother). My daughter felt at home, I felt at home, and it was simply paradise! Now, my issue now is very similar to other posts regarding family acceptance of our SO's. I have an 11 yr. old daughter, and my fiance is 24.... my family is flippin out! I just told them he is coming (they don't know about this process or that we are getting married). They say I don't really know him because I have only been around him in a vacation setting.... I am opening the door for tragedy to occur that could permanently ruin my daughter..... How can I make such an irresponsible decision to bring this young man into my home around my daughter! I am 11 years older than my fiance. To make matters worse, I have not had the best luck with relationships in the past.... I admit that I have rushed into relationships, been in two failed marriages that only lasted 7 months each ( I ended both of them)! I will say for certain however, that nothing has every kept me down, the marriages didn't work, but I kept it moving, and never found myself in a worse off situation. I am very responsible, maintain my own home, bills, and am a damn good mother! My daughter and I are very close and we discuss everything! I understand my family's concern, but am upset that they don't think that I've thought about any of this! All they want to do is focus on my bad decisions in the past. They don't consider that I am grown, responsible, and don't ask anyone for anything.... Not to mention, they don't seem to have any concern for me any other time... no one calls to see if I need anything... if I need any help around the house.... need my grass cut.... but now everyone wants to give input on my choice of a mate!!! I am pissed! I know that they love me and my daughter and don't want to see us hurt, but they don't know how much they are hurting me right now. I don't want him to come here and on top of all the other issues we will be faced with, have to deal with the nastiness of my family! So, I have decided that he will get an apartment for 3 months when he gets here. That will give he and my daughter time to be totally comfortable with each other (they hit it off fine when they met), and it will give time for my family to get to know him. It will be an additional burden on us financially, but I belive it will be worth it in the long run. I have been searching today for rooms for rent, or apt's to share in my area and have come across a few. So, I am hopeful to have something lined up for him. Also, I will be inquiring about work for him working with a contractor, or Lawn care company so that he can have some income coming in right away (where he gets paid cash for each job he does... there are alot of those types of jobs around). This way he will be busy, and making some money until we get the AOS. I am hoping this plan makes things easier for us. I really understand my family, but I also understand that my fiance is leaving familiar territory, supportive family, and his homeland to be with me. I know that has to be scary and hard, and I want to help make the transition as stress free as possible..... So thank you to everyone that has shared their experiences.... I wish us all success and happiness! My take on this is that if you feel that having him stay in his own apartment is best for YOU and your DAUGHTER, then you are definitely doing the right thing. If on the other hand, you are doing ir BECAUSE OF your family, I would definitely re-think. Basically, you are a grown woman, YOU know what's best for YOU, do not allow anyone to DECIDE that on YOUR behalf..... Would ask though, how does your finace feel about living seperately?? Ie, waking up the morning after he gets here in a strange house on his own?? I wish you the best in your journey, I hope the choice you make is the best one Thanks. I have thought about why I came to that decision to make sure it was for the right reasons. And, I talked to my daughter about it. I don't want her to feel that I am forcing my fiance on her. She is used to it just being her and I.... Although she likes him, she did express that she would feel more comfortable being around him a while longer and getting to know him better before he moves in the house with us. So that is the main reason I am doing this. The fact that it will give everyone time to get to know him, and ease the stress.... is a big plus. I guess I should not have made it sound like it was my decision alone. I of course discussed this extensively with my fiance. He totally understood my reasoning, and agreed that this would be the best course of action for now. The plan is to find someplace within 5 min. of my house, and he will likely spend most of the time here at the house. He doesn't want me to be stressed, he doesn't want my daughter to be uncomfortable, so he totally supports this decision. He is truely wonderful! I do agree with others that the 3 months is a critical time to get to know one another up close and personal. I believe I can still do that even though he will have a seperate place. We will still spend the majority of our time at our home, and will definitely see each other daily. It will also give him an opportunity to establish friendships. We are not looking for an apt. actually but more of a roommate situation. I found a few yesterday where STRAIGHT men were looking to rent rooms in their condo/house. I have an appt. on Saturday to check out one about 5 min. from me. I personally think that is THE WORSE decision you could possibly make....living apart. As a parent of a 13 yr old (single mom from day one) and VERY VEEEERY close to my son.....this is YOUR decision, your CHILD needs to respect YOUR decision in bringing him into YOUR immediate family!!! You won't change the opinions of your parents, but your child is what matters the most, which is great she would want to be comfortable and you value her opinions, she's also 11.....but maybe that's when you could have taken more time in getting to know him together (in trips to Jamaica---which we veterans have stated NUMEROUS times is absolutely and completely different than living here) and not have gone through the process until SHE felt "more comfortable". TRUST ME, you NEED to live together, especially that you have a child, because the situation is WAY different than it would be if it was JUST the 2 of you. What happens when you get married on the 90th day and you "move in", and you DO NOT get along????? and who is to say that after the 3 months he (or your daughter) says that "they aren't ready"???? You do know he still has up to 6 months (after the VISA is approved) to arrive into the states??? Also, I would assume with immigration, that would be a HUUUUUGE RED FLAG to them showing that he came here to "live on his own" and NOT live with YOU as stated on ALL of your paperwork???? My family doesn't know about Craig, don't need to because I am not living for them, I'm living for myself !! Also, you are giving ANY (young) Jamaican THEIR LIFE DREAM, to come here to the states and have someone pay for their OWN place, food, lights, cable ...actually anything and to NOT HAVE to "live like the family" they KNEW they were coming here to do in the 1st place??????????????? Just sounds crazy to me !!!! Just my honest opinion from someone who has been there and done that !!!!! Who are you marrying your family or your fiance?? I am sitting here totally bewildered. So he comes to the US and he and your daughter do not get along intially. What happens after 3 months? Do you extend the lease and see how things go. I am going to put aside the whole fiance situation for a min and just deal with this from the perspective that I am not sure your jamaican fiance is trying you on for size so why are YOU trying him on for size?This is a life changing, give everything up and move scenario. We Americans have to understand that just because some Jamaicas are so keen to move here does not necessarily give us the right to encourage them to move from thier comfort zone while we try to work out these domestic situations. I am reading on here about people being afraid to face parents about thier decsions, or face family , or face children. There is a certain sequence of events that should take place before we get our foreign fiance's to make this major sacrifice and move to the United States. Getting the family, children , parents and the like on board is something that needs to be resolved BEFORE if they are that important. Cause if I am an Jamaican fiance and I move to the US and then have an American fiance tell me that either the kids, parents , friends, or the likes do not like me so I have to go back, I may not necessarily take it so nicely. Leave him in Jamaica until you are certain you are going to stick it out no matter what. When he moves here, it should be straight to your home, to your bed and whereever you are from the day he arrives.Besides the obvious problems with immigration, what kind of security are you providing him in this situation. If I was the Jamaican fiance and you came to me with a proposal like this............you will get a rather rude crash course in Jamaican patois and it would not sound good.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-04 15:52:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	So I have a dilemma. Long story short: I met Evan about 5 months ago. We are engaged now. Won't be marrying til around August or so. Since the relationship started off as more of a friendship I never really talked about him much to my father, but now it has escalated to an engagement and my dad doesn't even know much about him. Didn't even know his name when I mentioned it. So now I am stressed, in trying to figure out how to break the news to daddy's little girl. I'm not a little girl, but since i am the youngest of his 2 daughters, and getting married to a man he's never met, whose from another country with stereotypes of visa fraud, plus haven't known Evan all that long, I am sure this is going to be a touchy topic for my dad. Any advice as to how to break it to him. He now knows that I am "seeing" Evan, but I need to hurry and tell him of the plans of marriage, cause its obviously more serious than just some holiday romance. What is wrong with "Dad, I have met the man of my dreams and I intend to marry him" Simple and to the point.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-02 18:59:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I stay away from this site for two weeks and come back and I am lost! Phew! So much is going on I do not even want to even say anything but hi to you guys. I have not forgotten any of you and for all of you starting this journey, I do hope it will be as much fun as it has been for Iffeisha and I. We are done for the next two years and I am still trying to figure out why it was such an easy process. All those sleepless nights for nothing. But I will drop in ever so often to make sure I do not get cussed out. Luv travlin-Keep the faith girl, you will know what to do when the time is right.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-04-01 20:57:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Got an e-mail today that out case has been transferre to California. Hi Stephen! I am happy to see thing are moving right along for you and your wife. Hi everyone. I have a question, now that I have the NOA2 (yay! ) is that the last time I'll deal with Vermont? When we do AOS does it go to someplace different? Another question, if I have the three years of tax returns/transcripts and the letter from my employer AND my bank statements from the past 12 months, is it necessary to have the bank letter? My bank is charging for it and if I can avoid it I'd like to. Okay, one more: can my fiance go to one police station (precint?office?) for his police certificate if he has lived in more than one place since 16? He is in Kingston right now and if he could just go to Kingston for it, it would be helpful. The bank letter is one of those things that one cannot say for sure they would not ask for. They did not ask us for it 6 months ago, but I have 2 friends who were asked for it about 3 months ago. My rule of thumb with these things is that do not give them any reason to give you a hard time. The cost of returning to Jamaica for a 2nd time is way more than what your bank will charge for the letter. Besides, you cannot put a price tag on peace of mind. If they never take it, it will be one more piece of paper to put on that bon fire when you and your sweetheart are celebrating the granting of the visa. Thanks, Trinilad. Do you know about whether I'll have to deal with VSC anymore? I ask because I may be moving and I'm wondering where future paperwork would go. You mentioned returning to JA for a second time. It was not my intention to be there for my fiance's interview. Is that a bad thing? I don't think that it's possible for me. If our intention is to have my fiance's children follow him later, what documentation does he have to provide in terms of custody or approval? They have centralized the process now so you would most likely not have to deal with VSC at the AOS stage. We filed our AOS at Nebraska, then it was sent to Ohio and then to California. When you request the 485 package our go online and print it, the center that deals with your location will be there. I know for sure it will not be Vermont. What USCIS is doing is sending all of a particular type of application to 1 specific center and they will move faster since they will only have those applications to do. Vermont does not do I485. If you are not going to be there, then I would definitely get the bank letter. Trust me , they will drill him. Just do not give them too much to ask. I am not sure about the issue with the children. Never had to deal with it so i will leave that to the veterans who may have.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-03-12 09:28:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	Got an e-mail today that out case has been transferre to California. Hi Stephen! I am happy to see thing are moving right along for you and your wife. Hi everyone. I have a question, now that I have the NOA2 (yay! ) is that the last time I'll deal with Vermont? When we do AOS does it go to someplace different? Another question, if I have the three years of tax returns/transcripts and the letter from my employer AND my bank statements from the past 12 months, is it necessary to have the bank letter? My bank is charging for it and if I can avoid it I'd like to. Okay, one more: can my fiance go to one police station (precint?office?) for his police certificate if he has lived in more than one place since 16? He is in Kingston right now and if he could just go to Kingston for it, it would be helpful. The bank letter is one of those things that one cannot say for sure they would not ask for. They did not ask us for it 6 months ago, but I have 2 friends who were asked for it about 3 months ago. My rule of thumb with these things is that do not give them any reason to give you a hard time. The cost of returning to Jamaica for a 2nd time is way more than what your bank will charge for the letter. Besides, you cannot put a price tag on peace of mind. If they never take it, it will be one more piece of paper to put on that bon fire when you and your sweetheart are celebrating the granting of the visa.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-03-12 07:47:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	It's so hard being here and not being able to "take control" of all those situations. I remember almost losing my mind when Roy was trying to pick up Packet #3 and drop off the DS-230 at the same time......and then "them" messing up his Birth Papers -- Oh my God...I was almost on a plane down there to try to get it all straightened out...... Sorry Jax -- let him cool off and he can try again..... I remember those days. Sometimes that Jamaican mentality of "no problem man" gets to me. I used to e mail my fiance instructions that were so specific and to the point cause I am not one too forgiving with slip ups. i guess we Americans have a different mentlity as to how to deal with things seriously. They will learn, eventually. Hello family, Question: I have a notarized letter of intent for me but it is proving difficult to find a notary, which is really a lawyer ,in Kingston to notarize Ricardo's letter of intent. How important do you think it is for his to be notarized? or can we have them notarize it at the embassy? It really doesnt ask for one anywhere in the instructions? Any opinion and/or advice would be appreciated. Thanks I did not have ours notarized and in fact Bert was going through his papers and they did not even take it. Although things are so different in a matter of a few month someone else will comment on it. Are you going back for the interview? Same here. They did not ask for it to be notarizedand they gave it back to us. In Jamaica Notaries are normally referred to Justice of the Peace. If you can find one of those , then they will notarize it for you. The embassy will give it back to you without even looking at it. But as darlene said, things have changed. So be safe than sorry.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-03-11 18:31:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	It's so hard being here and not being able to "take control" of all those situations. I remember almost losing my mind when Roy was trying to pick up Packet #3 and drop off the DS-230 at the same time......and then "them" messing up his Birth Papers -- Oh my God...I was almost on a plane down there to try to get it all straightened out...... Sorry Jax -- let him cool off and he can try again..... I remember those days. Sometimes that Jamaican mentality of "no problem man" gets to me. I used to e mail my fiance instructions that were so specific and to the point cause I am not one too forgiving with slip ups. i guess we Americans have a different mentlity as to how to deal with things seriously. They will learn, eventually.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-03-11 13:39:00
Mexico, Latin & South America	Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)	I think I'm gonna have to re-do the DS156 forms. I've done them already and got the barcode generated. Do you think the info will be entered twice in the system? I think I need to change the way I entered the address. I don't think anything is being entered in the system when we generate them online.... at least I hope not because I've done the 156 a few times already! I think the barcode is for their use at the embassy. To scan the docuement for the contents without having to read each one. So, you should be fine. Thanks, I'll be re-printing mine tomorrow. I need to make a correction. I have a question about the way you filled out the forms online.... it may sound very #######, but I just want to cover all my bases.... For questions that were not applicable, did you put N/A, or Not Applicable? On the DS230 it clearly states to put N/A, but in the instructions I think they say put Not Applicable.... When filling out the 156 online, I think you have to put Not Applicable.... So, I am thinking for the 156 and 156K and 157, put Not Applicable. For the 230 Pt. I and Pt. II, put N/A. Just want to get feedback of others that have already been through it.... am I being too paranoid??? I thought about the samething. I put N/A in all the spaced that didn't apply to us. I guess I'm being paranoid too Safer to put NOT APPLICABLE rather than N/A. They can be ####### at times and ast like they do not know what N/A means.	Trinilad	Not Telling	Jamaica	2007-03-11 13:32:00