ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
msheesha, I would but my babies never let me watch a thing...Im missing out on so much LOL ah well, I was wondering how she got into her predicament and was sad for the kids....so were those babies in that room stolen or was it an orphanage or what was it? I was just hoping they were taken care of by that Egyptian couple...so sad!
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-26 11:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
I know! I am wondering!

I seen the alst 5 minutes of the locked up abraod thing...now I knwo what happened...thanks guys LOL
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-26 00:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
I seen your comment RandF and I did delete some of my messages now lol...however, I do not see any updates from Mimolicious....Ill keep looking...I hope her AP is short as possible :( ughhh

On another note, how does one make a pic small enough to put for the avatar? Seems like it needs to be ridiculously small...I dunno how I will shrink a pic down that small....I want to show off my trio! Or maybe it's better to out it in the siggy? I;l try! oh screw it...lol i gotta go!

Ok tell me some of you VJ computer savvy peeps, how to put a new pic (albeit large ones) in my avatar and my siggy...it's driving me mad!

Edited by ErikaAndHamit, 22 July 2012 - 10:43 AM.

ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-22 10:33:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD

I tried sending you a pm and it says you can't receive any. :blush:


Ill delete some of the messages (i have like almost 400 lol i never clean my mailbox...ugh) hmmm I woder what its about! lol yikes and where did my avatar piccy go?
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-22 10:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
Thays awesome foreverwaiting lol omg!! Well only mews here is we aren't doing Ramadan fasting..me BC I'm a milk making bank for my trio and finding myself runnongvlow on funds lately lol hubby said triplet boys us enough to worry about minus the fasting so he's being naughty this year. Otherwise nothing going on here mimolicioua whens the interview???

Edited by ErikaAndHamit, 22 July 2012 - 04:14 AM.

ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-22 04:12:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
Thanks for the info on citizenship ladies!

WOM: my brother came over and did fireworks like the ones you described...OMG, I was so afraid the cops would come, but they were awesome and the whole neighborhood watched he he he

mimilicious: oooohhhh you bring back memories when we were in the visa phase...now it's "boring" married life phase ha ha aha jk!!!
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-06 05:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
Mithra, my brother will come over and do some huge and illegal fireworks that I probably cant watch bc the babies are afraid lol....BBQ? hubby is lazy to do bc it's going to be broiling here too as usual. Other than that, not much.....

How much is naturalization nowadays? I don't know when we will do his as I think he can apply soon...it's not like it's any hurry to get it, besides being down with immigration for good, what's the benefit for him?....too busy these days, but eventually we will get to it I guess-we have 10 years right? lol
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-07-04 09:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
Oh wow Mithra...I have a 14.5 year old boy too and a girla lmost 16 (30th instead) and an 18 year old girl..ot to mention my teething trio also! My guys dont like to sleep either and I have been functioning on little sleep since their birth..they just turned 10 months. I just woke up as I slept with them whent hey went to bed, but I have to try to sleep again..it sucks this sleeping like #######! I usually give them childrens Motrin..last 6-8 hours and works a lot better!
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-06-30 02:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaDAILY THREAD
That sounds about right msheesha....i did not get interviewed...or wait...yes, we did lol. Maybe they weren't 100% sure on us (language issues)since this was the focus of the consulate it seemed, but we weren't scared in the least...who knows, but we passed the interview flying colors...then we did not get one for AOS, but then again, who does lol? Thanks God, we are just about doen with immigration....once we do citizenship this year or next, we are done!

I see everyone was talking diet last thread....well, i started one too, but then hubby brought home coke (my huge weakness) when he knew I specifically told him not to!!
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2012-06-22 11:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaHelp and advice need
I'd stay married or see about a "Not Without My Daughter"sheme.
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2013-08-01 04:24:00
Middle East and North Africaleaving for Amman in the morning

Oh, that's such a tough one with no right or wrong answer.  It really sucks.  So sorry!  My brother has Asperger's and lives with me and he is the same way and very tough to deal with at times.  However, once he makes a decision like the one your son made, he would not be one to change his mind.  I hope he will be OK with you gone and that your Skyping makes things better.  I know you will feel uneasy the whole time, but try to enjoy what you can.  Big hugs. <3


ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2014-05-18 00:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaDO they deport me if my fiance leave me in US?

forgivennt4saken Just don't be angry i said if you not intrested to answer me plz don't answer .I want answer who intrested my topic


The problem is your topic posses suspicions. How can anyone give you advise when we don't understand the premises based on which you pose these questions??????
God fearingFemaleCanada2012-05-26 17:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaReturning Petitions to the United States via 221g
:thumbs: You have our support!
libragodessFemaleMorocco2006-02-28 17:24:00
Middle East and North AfricaMedical Exam in UAE
I'm from India..and all 3 doctors(females) asked me to take off my clothes for my medical test....how embarrassing
ReignVictoriousMaleIndia2007-01-31 01:09:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNeed Advice Please
He does have an appointment on Monday, to try and see what is going on, and how long it could still take, so hopefully we will know more by then.

Issy
Lil-Lost-GirlFemaleUnited Kingdom2006-01-28 09:56:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNeed Advice Please
Hi i'm hopeing someone can help me with a couple of questions :help:

Hubby and I are about to file the I-130 paperwork for myself and my two children, but the question concerns is it worth doing yet, as he is still a LPR. He has had his citizenship interview, which was in October 2005, but is still waiting for his oath.
Do we file now, or would it be best to wait until he has his citizenship paperwork ?
If we do file now, is it possible to upgrade it once his citizenship oath has been taken ?
We do intent to file for the K-3 too, as and when he has his citizenship.

Hope someone can help us out here, many thanks.

Issy & Mike
Lil-Lost-GirlFemaleUnited Kingdom2006-01-28 07:11:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresTimeline Consular Administrative Processing

Hi,
Does Visa Journey have timelines for administrative processing? If not, can the administrators set one up? And does anyone have experience with the U.S. consulate in Nairobi in this regard?

My husband's visa was approved pending admin processing. I'm optimistic over the long term, but I won't rest easy until he has his visa in hand -- and I'm not holding my breath.

My sense is that this is the new black hole for visa applications -- DOS won't estimate time needed for processing or give any info. The uncertainty is very difficult for people. According to news reports, Obama has leaned on DOS to do more security reviews, and as usual with anything related to immigration, they're doing it badly. See this Washington Post article:

http://www.washingto...0033103613.html


I would also like more info about admin processing times. My fiance had his interview in October 2010 and was put in Admin Processing and we still have heard nothing. I contacted my Congressman last month and they sent an inquiry to the Embassy only to come back with "it's in Administrative Processing and there is no time-line". I'm so tired of hearing that. I wouldn't even mind the long waiting period if they could just say how long it will be. Could they keep us in limbo for a year or more??? It has already been a year since we started our "Visa Journey".
AMteamFemaleEngland2011-03-20 22:51:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresRed flags - some examples please

A large age difference is definitely a red flag. A couple who only has about a 3 year age difference will most likely have an easier way to go as opposed to a couple with a 15-20 year age difference.


A large age difference is highly subjective. Again, sometimes things might not always be the way they appear.

You say 15-20 years is large. I had always thought that over 28 years (age differential) is starting to look bad.

In cases like Woody Allen and the late Tony Randall (he was 50 years old when his future wife was born) admittedly, the age differences look quite vast.

But as anyone who has ever been to their 25 Year Class Reunion, there are classmates that look 15-20 years older (or younger) and THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME AGE as we are.

I know guys who got bald and grey in their 30s and I know others in their 50s who could pass for 39. Arguably, lifestyle, diet and genetics are offsetting elements that sometimes warrant factoring in to the age differential equation.

So, on this point, I must ask: Is the ACTUAL AGE (what is on the birth certificate) more important to Consular Officers? Or, THE WAY THAT A COUPLE APPEARS TOGETHER?

In my opinion, these are apples and oranges.

For many years, I always thought that 12-20 years (younger) was ideal for me. But then, at a pub, a guy told me his formula which is kind of funny.

HALF A MAN'S AGE PLUS 7.

Think about it.

For a 22 year old guy, half his age is 11, plus 7 = 18!

For a 50 year old guy, half his age is 25, plus 7 = 32!

Of course, I say this in partial jest with borderline humor and tongue-in-cheek subtext. :lol:

I am just pointing out that like in anything else, PERSPECTIVE is paramount in looking at other's ages.

At age 49, I met some gorgeous and genteel 22 year old ladies, while I do not care what "others think," in MY HEART AND SOUL, even though I am young in spirit (dance every song and still have not had a grey hair) something wasn't quite 111% right... (deep in my organic core) at least for the long haul (plan on dying at 92 in 2050... whatever the mind harbors, the body manifests) but my wife and I have a mere 15 year age difference (small and insignificant by my accounts) but in your opinion (of course no one is right or wrong as love and romance obviously varies for everyone on here, hence is subjective by nature) we have a large age difference, but no one really has opined this as the fact that we are true soul mates is evident even by most of the lugubrious, glass-half-empty types.

Edited by UrbanOptimist, 29 March 2011 - 02:51 PM.

UrbanOptimistMaleChina2011-03-29 14:49:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresRed flags - some examples please
Posted Imagenane1104, on 29 March 2011 - 06:37 AM, said:

Someone on here made the suggestion to discuss the option to life in the alien spouses country instead of the US and see what the reaction is. A person who is out to get a greencard won't be to happy about that idea...:whistle:

Red flags for me would be:
my SO is unavailable a lot of times I call
doesn't engage much in conversations
seems not interested in how I am doing
usually I am the one who stays in touch while apart

the list probably goes on and on...


I think you missed the point of the question!:)


The term "red flags" of course can apply to either a Consular Officer or a newlywed petitioner. A "red flag," for a Consular Officer (i.e., proof on an ongoing relationship, etc...) can be different from a "red flag" for a fiancee or a newlywed. In my opinion, BOTH "red flags" are worthy of mention even though the Original Post was probably referring to "red flags" as seen from the Consular Officer's eyes.

What I am most curious about is how many or what percentage of NON-bona fide marriages (scam marriage for green card purposes from the get-go) the officers have found were mutual from the onset? Sometimes, I think that in a Consular Officer's own mind, THEY REALLY BELIEVE that they see things that a naive fiancee or newlywed does not see. However, by an officer being overly cautious (thus protecting our country from the unscrupulous ilk, devoid of character) they are, in essence, not giving the average man or woman (who has at least nominal common sense) credit for having their own extra scrutinizing judgment in marrying their long distance mate.

My alluding to the Consular Officers doing their job in protecting the unsuspecting, innocent types from being victimized by calculating, criminal-minded "bad people" of course is NOT referring to the couples who are BOTH in on the scam from the onset as I would venture to guess that this probably also happens with some frequency as well.

For this reason, I think that the previous poster (who misunderstood the context of the O.P.) mentioning things like below is worthy of brief mention:

my SO is unavailable a lot of times I call
doesn't engage much in conversations
seems not interested in how I am doing
usually I am the one who stays in touch while apart

[Yes, the list probably does go on and on...]

In my opinion, these "red flag allusions" are indeed worthy of inclusion in this discussion as it serves as proof that "most of us" (who are married or engaged to a foreigner) are brighter than we are are given credit for.

I am not embarrassed to avow that in my long life, I have had "would be romantic prospects" (had correspondence with online and in some cases, met them in person) from faraway countries (incl., Russia, Philippines, Thailand, China, etc...) as here in Arizona (a meat and potatoes haven) the average person looks down on vegan males with intolerance and scorn.

[No exaggeration here, a rapist, pedophile, thief, thug, etc... will get accommodated in 100% in Arizona restaurants while a vegan man has only 4% of local eateries who might welcome and accommodate him... sad yet totally true.]

Indeed, I am truly adept of spotting red flags; some are laughable. Esp., after a week of emails, one might profess love and ask for $1,272.13 (they think because of the exact dollar amount they are being clever? lol) for an air ticket or whatever. I am truly shocked that there are guys who fall these blatant scams from the unscrupulous ilk as I quoted above. In other words, I understand that Consular Officers, in most cases, are simply doing their job. Absolutely, there is a sucker born and a victim getting taken advantage every minute (Google "Nigerian scam" for one, no offense to anyone here from Nigeria, just citing a commonly Googled example) so yes, I admit that many "potential scam marriages" were cut off at the pass at the Consulate. Great.

But sadly, just like with anything else, the "bad folks" (scammers) make it exceedingly difficult for REAL SOULMATES who are in love and fighting hard to be together at long last.

As I said on another post, "in criminal law, a man is innocent until proven guilty, but in immigration law, the burden of proof is on the petitioner."

It truly hurts me (I feel the pain of other couple's plight) to ponder the countless parents and other family members who never got to meet (they died waiting?) their first and only son or daughter in-law (or brother or sister in-law) because of endless delays caused by "the system" that is here to protect our country from the unscrupulous ilk who has a crooked agenda and know how to use the system (dollars and lawyers) to accomplish their fraudulent means. Meanwhile, the good and noble and soulful folks who were not born with a "silver spoon" and who's every act abounds with sincere and good intentions are denied several times and end up being entwined in a seemingly endless fight to be with their true soul mate. Such is life.

Good luck to everyone in love and fighting to manifest their great and noble dreams.
UrbanOptimistMaleChina2011-03-29 14:11:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresPetition returned /Case returned

Ok I have a question.

My friend filed for her stepson in Jordan. He went in for an interview, not sure of what was said. However it was later revealed that the case was sent back to the National Visa Center, and that a letter would be sent. We have not received anything. I am thinking that I need to contact the DOS and National Visa Center. Or what should we do.
What is the contact info for both places.

Thanks my VJERS


Good luck. I just recently made an overly long post that addresses mistakes (my petitions were returned almost a year ago) I made.

Prior to my petitions being returned, I asked a Congressman for help.

I honestly do not know if this was a good choice or a bad choice.

In retrospect, it might have been a bad choice as it caused a very long waiting period. My case was sent back to the DOS on April 27, 2010. It was not until last month that I received a NOIR (Notice Of Intent to Revoke) asking for RFE (Request For Evidence) so that is a long time! In other words, OVER NINE MONTHS!

But what I do not know is this: If I had not contacted my Congressman, would my NOIR have cited the FIVE SPECIFIC REASONS CITED BY THE CONSULAR OFFICER FOR DENYING MY WIFE HER VISA? If I would received THESE FIVE SPECIFIC REASONS anyway, then in retrospect, I made bad choice and I wasted a lot of time. But if the "Congressional Inquiry" is what brought to light THOSE FIVE REASONS, then... despite the added delay, I made a good choice as that helped me prepare my FIVE, LONG REBUTTAL CHAPTERS that totaled nearly 600 pages.

I am anxious to hear what happens in your friend's case in the coming months. Best of luck to them.
UrbanOptimistMaleChina2011-03-28 23:05:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresCR-1, Oongoing Marital Union

I have always been a big fan of her visiting here, but she keeps telling me her "travel group" won't allow this for her to visit me. Anyway. No problem with the escrow money. So maybe then as a wife, she may have easier time to get the B2? Perhaps that is the better route. At least I can to there, get married and worry later.

It just seems the I-130 is designed for co-habiting couples only. I keep seeing this flash in front of my eyes over and over and over: Evidence of AN ONGOING MARITAL UNION. Geez, we live in 2 different countries, how to get an ongoing marital union if they don't let her in to stay with me? Classic catch-22. I haven't slept all night worrying about this. I going to bed.

Thanks



So far for me, your narrative truly hits home with me and indeed I identify with every facet of your journey. This is partly why I love this forum and over the years, I have read (from afar) many people's stories and I have learned a great deal from them as a result. I have found that 99% of the postings here to be both inspirational and beneficial.

As for the other 1%? Let's just say that not every suggestion or tidbit of advice is applicable or feasible. Of course, hiring a lawyer and moving to our spouse's country helps our case! But is this really an option for ALL OF US? I mean really?

If you meet a multi-millionaire and you ask him how he acquired his riches and he says, "Well, I simply bought Bowflex stock in the mid-1990s when it was selling for 7 cents a share on the Toronto Exchange and I sold my stock when it peaked out at $45.00 a share (after several splits) on the New York Stock Exchange. Of course, this is a great story to hear but seriously, just how REALISTIC is it to just tell others to just DO THE SAME?

I hope that it not inappropriate to create a hypothetical (albeit valuable example to serve as a case study) scenario here to see what would be a reccommended course of action as there are elements that mirror our stories. Why use a hypotherical example? For the sake of privacy and to not be invasive of anyone's real privacy. In true stories that became movies (Raging Bull, Rudy, etc...) they always use dramatic license as it can help create a stronger case to serve as an example.
Who cares that t

I stopped myself right here. I began going on and on and in fact... YOUR POST RIGHT HERE, is the one that prompted me to write my hypothetical example that I just posted as some of the same reasons for visa denial might come up.

I wish you the very best. Believe me when I say, I identify with you!
UrbanOptimistMaleChina2011-04-01 19:02:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresMay I Use a long Hypothetical 'Fairy-Tale" Example, here?

We can probably all can add a chapter (I've been writing a story about my own joureny for 3 1/2 years so far), but more intriguing to me is the lawyer versus non-lawyer and how much it may or may not matter. We hear plenty of times the message "Do the VOs actually realize they are afffecting peoples lives?"



This is such powerful question when you really look at it.

I wish there were data "out there" that showed conclusively how many times they get it right?

Catch the Green Card Marriage Scammers and allow bona fide soul mates.

VS

How many times they get it wrong; Getting fooled by unscupulous scammers and denying married couples in love.

Anyway, in my real case, I put together nearly 600 pages in my NOIR rebuttal in less than three-weeks. Emotions buzzed through my spiritual core, my heart raced as the clock moved as if in fast motion. I wrote with a stream-of-consciounesness passion like surviving a forefather who is about to save his town from getting bulldozed.

Kind of like the folks here in Arizona trying to prevent a Canadian mining company from razzing the last beautiful mountain utopia and great scenic playground. A very big issue here only because there is not enough water and the jobs are only temporary and area that might get obliterated is a scenic forest area that many families have fond memories of. Oops... there goes the "tree-hugger again, wanting to resurface.

:bonk: :ot2:

When someone has their lives hanging by other's decisons, we can only fight with every cell is our being... like that spider who refuses to get flushed down the toilet.
UrbanOptimistMaleChina2011-04-01 20:59:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresMay I Use a long Hypothetical 'Fairy-Tale" Example, here?

A little too post-hippie-tree-hugger for me , but darn it, I like a good love story--so who will write the next chapter ??



Heh-heh, actually part of the point and what made me write about a "different couple" in third person was to illuminate just how much power a Consular Officer really has.

Even if the perfect fairy-tale were happening (as I wrote it or a variation of it) right now, the HAPPY ENDING that human beings generally hope for could be swatted down like a mosquito by someone in a position of power.

Lastly, it appears that so many have abundant resources (the financially independent can hire top notch lawyers and relocate for months at a time) but others do NOT.

In my opinion, the "others" are also worthy of fair treatment, but sometimes, ON PAPER, admittedly, a certain case might look really bad even though it is bona fide (made in good faith) in every way.

What if the things that "Lucky and Lucy" share are so unique? In my example, there is no way they could have been planned?

i.e., the yang mei wine, the father into feng shui, etc...

But their job is not to try and believe WHAT IS POSSIBLE but rather quickly make a decison what fits or does not fit their standard guidelines of bona fide or not.

I have had people disagree with me THAT THINGS SOMETIMES DO NOT APPEAR THE WAY THEY APPEAR (the individual element is rarely factored in) and sadly, looking at each case in detail is probably too time-consuming, at least for the first interview. Sad yet true... but is understandble (given the caseload) as well.
UrbanOptimistMaleChina2011-04-01 19:14:00
Middle East and North AfricaReturning Petitions to the United States via 221g

Hey everyone my name is Carolyn you can count me in , I know just how you feel, we got the lovely 221g when we did ours and then our papers just set and exspired and the woman at the consulante never wanted to see proof that My husband then had , now we are married and we did that this last summer , I was beyond angry before and got no where, they never asked for anything it just sat there n matter how many times I called . so you can count on my support. yes.gif
Carolyn

Attached Files


rctNot TellingMorocco2008-02-01 22:19:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresFiling tax return as single this year is spouse live outside USA
interesting

Edited by lasllani, 08 February 2011 - 08:38 PM.

lasllaniMaleKosova2011-02-08 20:36:00
Middle East and North AfricaGoing to Egypt!!!! Any advice???

OMG....the water! Here I was drinking out of 'bottled water' for over a week when I noticed my SIL putting tab water into the bottled water! Here I was thinking I was drinking bottle water and I was drinking the real think the whole time. The second time I went to Egypt I just drank from the tab and did fine.

I haven't gotten any vaccinations as of yet. Which ones do i really need?


As some have said on here...you don't need your vaccinations. Maybe you don't, but why take the chance? It takes a few minutes to get your basic vaccinations like your MMR, DTP and Tetanus boosters if you haven't had them in some time. Go to a county nurse and have them done for very little. I also had my Hep A and B combo (Twinrix vaccine).

Typhoid is also a good one. You don't have to eat from a street vendor or drink tap water to get it (remember, there is a good chance even good restaurants are making the ice in your drink from regular tap water). Have it just once and you'll probably wish you had taken a little extra precaution.
Jamie76MaleThailand2007-06-01 17:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaGoing to Egypt!!!! Any advice???
Have you had your travellers vaccinations yet?

http://www.cdc.gov/travel/nafrica.htm
Jamie76MaleThailand2007-06-01 14:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaIt's Thursday! And it's a boy!
QUOTE (ZaidsMommy @ Dec 4 2008, 05:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeaaaaaa Staashi!! Boys are sooo much fun I swear!!! Congrats on the news!!

Zaid made it thru the night but got up sooo early and im so tired! Im off today and meeting some friends for lunch...I hope the weather holds out...



Zaid is soooo cute..he looks like a little all-knowing man from day one...and a handsome little man he is. Thses pics brought a smile to my face....cute yes.gif
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2008-12-04 12:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaAdvice needed! What do I do?
Thanks everyone for your advice. I really appreciate it heart.gif

I know I don't have to go, but I want that extra assurance and in case something goes wrong I am there for questioning as well-.....i.e; if they think our relationship isn't bona-fide. I have heard many times that if this should be the case, the CO questions the USC as well and most of the time the visa is granted. ...but if I'm not there and this happens it is bad news.
Ankara allows the USC in with a passport, but it's up to the CO if they let the USC sit in on the interview (not usually and I don't want to anyway...lol))...anyhow....this stinks not knowing the interview date and that it could be up to 3 months?!! wow...so I have more questions for anyone who is willing to give any experiences or info...I would be so grateful yes.gif

How long until your interviews were scheduled after turning in packet 3?

Did you get any say in dates?

Are they flexible?

Anyone have the same problem with previous income beng insufficient, but current income excellent? (Damn, and it is so close to tax time wish I could just take an all new I-134 showing my $50,000 for 2008 and NOT my 2007 $17,500 which is very insufficient-I was in school)

Thanks again everyone and Iyi bayramlar!...or Happy Eid in English...lol!
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2008-12-07 21:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaAdvice needed! What do I do?
How did everyone manage to make it to their fiance/spouse interviews at the foreign embassy with work and all?
I am hoping Ankara allows us some choice in the interview dates. Do you know anything about this? AND my work wants all requested time off by the 12th of his month for Janaury and February 2009...yikes!!!!
Would Ankara ever agree to an interview in late January if we send packet 3 documents late this month?? (we haven't sent any of the requested documents from packet 3 yet-I'm still paralyzed with indecision...lol) We jut got this packet a few days ago....
Problem 2: I have like $46,000 gross income to date for 2008 (more than enough), but for 2007 only 17,500 because I was a student. Ankara wants only 2007's W2 OR the most current bringing me to my next concern.....
I want to wait for my new W2 on Janauary 20th because I am so afraid they will question my income from 2007 which is hardly enough for 5 people, but I was in school....
PSHBRK said I should simply write a letter explaining this and attrach it to the I-134. Will I be fine?? Isn't January 20th too far away if we send packet 3 documents this month? .....I want to go to this interview 100%, but work wants to know what days I need off by the 12th.....I am in a pinch..what should I do or what would you do?

Help

Frozen with indecision,
Erika
Thanks for ny input in advance!
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2008-12-07 01:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow long have you and your SO been together
One Whole Year...Christmas Day
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2008-12-19 04:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA Old Wives tales
This Jinn thing and how they are perceived as all powerful is annoying...I don't even want to get into the whole "cause of illness" superstitions, especially being in the medical field KNOWING that most of these superstitions are bogus, yet having your fiance believe like it was a proven science is frustrating......lol
Back to the Jinns... I told my Fiance that Allah is more powerful and that this Jinn BS wouldn't be a problem if close to Allah...I mean seriously...since when did satan become God? lol...geez unsure.gif devil.gif laughing.gif
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2008-12-21 15:45:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
Sorry if that is how it sounded but I was responding several pages back to other peoples posts and if one hasn't read that far back they won't know what I am talking about.

OK...this is WHY I said about the whole depression/emotion thing

....early on in a relationship woman and men more so tend to keep things to themselves emotionally (at least I do) because naturally we don't want to do anything to scare the other away or be rejected (like you said we try to be on our best behavior at first) So I "tried" this, I just said screw it I am having a bad day and I cannot pretend everything is all roses so I let myself be and say exactly how I felt as difficult as it was for us both (and yes, this would be a test of sorts in a new relationship and NOT acting) and truly if he didn't show concern I could care less and I would say good bye...but he reacted in a loving way....once I did test him by being "needy" because this is how I felt right or wrong and was not acting....yet I was being selfish because I kept him online for hours when I should have been happy he stayed and cared...but i pushed him so to speak to see if he would stay even if I was unreasonable...not healthy...but one of my faults and do not criticize me here because you all are not perfect either difference is I am being open and honest......
I am just trying to explain my actions since no one seems to understand and I don't know why I care...maybe because I cannot erase these damned posts and if I am going to go down I am going down saying all I needed to...now this damned topic has turned into acting as my own attorney and not what the post originally conveyed....
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-19 00:32:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
And of course my SO is concerned if I am sad....ALWAYS...
anyway I'm tired of explaining this to you....maybe I hit on a sensitive topic for you because I only suggested us ladies to air out any concerns and maybe we could help each other or at least reassure each other after reading this god forsaken thread that has caused nothing but negativity and you being critical........
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-19 00:17:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Jan 18 2009, 09:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Y_habibitk @ Jan 19 2009, 12:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
everyone here has already made their decision so talking about how you could "get duped" can bring out unecessary paranoia in people who arent 100% sure, like you said yourself. Reading "warnings" on a website is not going to change anyones mind. We all believe we are safe, or we wouldnt have started this journey( otherwise, weshouldnt have)

good.gif This is not something that should be thinking about at this point. This is something that should have been researched long before you get here. There does come a time when you just have to make a decision and then let it go.



Well, then why are many people here saying such things as "you never know" and "red flags" and how "it could happen to any of us" Ummmm no it doesn't...this is wh yI am digging for any possible red flags because frankly I don't have any.....
When people talk like this it scares the ####### outta of everyone...even those of us with sincere relationships....so like I said before: give more details here if your going to "warn others" on how to avoid a GC scammer.
Let's all be honest. Guess I was the only one unafraid of weak points in a relationship and I don't have many....whatever....and if you didn't understand or read the posts beforehand on "tests" don't comment mid-topic!
Either you have poor reading comprehension skills twice over or like to throw in your two sense without knowing what you're talking about. Acting...how stupid...yea I like to put on a show...not what me and another meant...read back first and if you still don't get it...don't comment

What I am saying is not if we see and obey our red flags...this thread was meant to be a warning...so where do you all get off saying it isn't...I was only being honest. AND I NEVER SAID I WAS FAKE ACTING....I have no idea where that came into play.
I say if there must be a thread such as this let's do it right....telling someone it cn happen to you because you yourself thought your marriage was 100% tends to scare the S**T outta people...
This wasn't about changing people's minds. THIS IS ABOUT OPENING THEM
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-18 23:56:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
QUOTE (Y_habibitk @ Jan 18 2009, 09:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ErikaAndHamit @ Jan 18 2009, 10:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Y_habibitk @ Jan 18 2009, 07:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ErikaAndHamit @ Jan 18 2009, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
depression and crying....done this one and he tried to run, but when I told him how bad a day I was having he stayed till I felt better...Oh you better believe I tried the whole depression and see how much he cares test....what i want to know is there anything else I need to know?



I dont mean to offend you, but I find this disturbing. I just dont get it.

Also, if his first reaction was to run..wouldnt that be a failed test? blush.gif

Have you already filed for him? only asking because if any 'testing' is done, i think it should be BEFORE

is this common? this crying test? heh


This was done well before we even met....I have to test him out-anybody...I mean if one doesn't "test" the waters how the hell do we know if your SO truly will stick by you or loves you when you have a looooooooooooong distance relationship and haven't met? He didn't quite run, but tried...in the whole how men don't know what to do with emotions type of thing...not running as in I don't care about you. Now 1 year later this of course, does not happen.

So are you saying we should be good little girls and not test things out? So we can end up getting duped later and starting our own thread on why we never questioned or tested him out first? Isn't this what this thread about? Warnings on and how to avoid getting duped?

Was your guy 100% comfortable the 1st time you got emotional on him? I think not. What guy is comfortable with women's emotions? If they really love you they will get used to any ups and downs. This is what I am saying. Maybe i wasn't clear enough before. I am being dramatic when I speak as well.

Now is this still disturbing?


yes, it is a bit disturbing to bring on fake tears and emotion to test someone. no, i dont think we should "all be good little girls". of course you should protect yourself, but false emotions is not something im into or can really pull off.

Actually, the first time my husband saw me cry(was on cam), he was extremely upset because he couldnt be here to comfort me, not because he was uncomfortable with my emotions. So, ya he was 100% "comfortable" in all the right aspects, besides the fact he couldnt be here with me.

i dont think this thread is about what to look for. in fact, everyone here has already made their decision so talking about how you could "get duped" can bring out unecessary paranoia in people who arent 100% sure, like you said yourself. Reading "warnings" on a website is not going to change anyones mind. We all believe we are safe, or we wouldnt have started this journey( otherwise, weshouldnt have)
like i said, I wasnt trying to offend you so no need to get fiesty star_smile.gif

thats just my opinion, most here that know me, know that i dont like talking about everyone elses red flags and how everyone is "at risk"...we already know that. if someone didnt know that getting into it, then i feel sorry for that person.

So, yes...research, use you gut instincts and DONT MARRY someone you arent 100% sure of. thats my advise.

lisa



I never said my tears were fake...???!! Only that Ididn't hold back early on one day to see what he'd do cuz I didn't care otherwise...I wanted to see if he truly cared and if he didn't well, good bye...this is what I meant...geez...no one ever said fake acting...that's strange wow.gif blink.gif
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-18 23:43:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
OK now that I dared air all of my "dirty laundry" so that maybe others can see if there are any weak links that I cannot see...I would love yo know because I sure as hell don't wanna be here telling everyone how he ran away with his GC...we can help each other and maybe prevent another scammer.........one must be bold and let go of any denials first.....I just aired my junk and if I think of anymore I will be back.....I truly wan to learn if there's anything to be learned.

I dare others to do the same as well.....better to pick it all apart now then later....Come on ladies!

Take off any rose-colored glasses laughing.gif

Thanks MrsAmera! good.gif
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-18 22:37:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
QUOTE (MrsAmera @ Jan 18 2009, 07:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
erika - if the money issue is already coming up might i suggest really really talking about this issue before your marriage. i knew that my husband planned to come start our life together and support his widowed mother at home, just as his 3 other bros and sis who live abroad do. We have two children and both work full time, and send money home monthly. This at the outset didn't bother me but when we started to struggle, and he still was sending money i got upset. but i've realized that she truly needs the support and have come to terms with. please sort this issue out before he comes so that the surprises wont pop up - it really did a blow to our marriage.


Yes MrsAmera and is Amera your name? It is very beautiful!! I am keeping this one in mind for any future babies.

Anyhow, on to your comment........
Yes, this money thing may bring problems and yes she does need it, but if we have more children this may be a problem....only talking and compromising will fix this...but yea I can totally see myself getting very irritated. Especially over his rich, single, cheapskate brother who still lives in the family home and gives as little as possible and the whole family is kind of afraid to stand up to him....gggrrrrrrrrr

I definitely don't mind him helping as she deserves it the sweet mother she is who loves her children so unconditionally and never asks for anything...I would eventually feel like the devil if I said no....so what happened between you and how did you fix it....I know this may be a huge issue later.....

ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-18 22:28:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
QUOTE (Y_habibitk @ Jan 18 2009, 07:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ErikaAndHamit @ Jan 18 2009, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
depression and crying....done this one and he tried to run, but when I told him how bad a day I was having he stayed till I felt better...Oh you better believe I tried the whole depression and see how much he cares test....what i want to know is there anything else I need to know?



I dont mean to offend you, but I find this disturbing. I just dont get it.

Also, if his first reaction was to run..wouldnt that be a failed test? blush.gif

Have you already filed for him? only asking because if any 'testing' is done, i think it should be BEFORE

is this common? this crying test? heh


This was done well before we even met....I have to test him out-anybody...I mean if one doesn't "test" the waters how the hell do we know if your SO truly will stick by you or loves you when you have a looooooooooooong distance relationship and haven't met? He didn't quite run, but tried...in the whole how men don't know what to do with emotions type of thing...not running as in I don't care about you. Now 1 year later this of course, does not happen.

So are you saying we should be good little girls and not test things out? So we can end up getting duped later and starting our own thread on why we never questioned or tested him out first? Isn't this what this thread about? Warnings on and how to avoid getting duped?

Was your guy 100% comfortable the 1st time you got emotional on him? I think not. What guy is comfortable with women's emotions? If they really love you they will get used to any ups and downs. This is what I am saying. Maybe i wasn't clear enough before. I am being dramatic when I speak as well.

Now is this still disturbing?

ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-18 22:21:00
Middle East and North Africagreen card marriages, ladies beware
QUOTE (Pattu Rani @ Jan 18 2009, 04:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ErikaAndHamit @ Jan 18 2009, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
depression and crying....done this one and he tried to run, but when I told him how bad a day I was having he stayed till I felt better...Oh you better believe I tried the whole depression and see how much he cares test....what i want to know is there anything else I need to know?


LOL me too... And my husband is super shy, quiet, no drama and his family is soft-spoken like him... yet one time I was really depressed and crying my eyes out because I was afraid he would leave me once his situation was solid here... it did not scare him away... neither did sitting in a hotel room with my 250-lb 'brother'/roommate having him tell 5'3", 127lb. Govi that he would skin him alive if he did the GC dash....guess he passed the tests, lol



That is so funny...poor guy

Anyhow, this thread got started because someone who was in pain meant well...but this sure created more anxiety for myself and others.....yet I still don't know why. I now they will find peace and a better man later down the road if they are smart and don't repeat the past. Men whether you meet them here or there still come with problems add cultural differences though and it becomes tougher. I already let my love know commitment to problem solving through discussion is of utmost importance and he agrees although at first he tried to run away as most men do. However, he has found that if he has a concern I too wil listen unitl it is solved. What a dmaned concept....I couldn't get half as far with American counterparts previously. I wonder if communication is big in Islam? Nah...I think it is his agreeableness...lol
ErikaAndHamitFemaleTurkey2009-01-18 19:10:00