ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (sus @ Feb 5 2009, 01:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Shemmy @ Feb 5 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks Portland - it's different when you go to JA 4-5 times a year visiting your man.


Just because my current relationship consists of visiting, doesn't mean I don't know what I am talking about or I haven't been through some of the exact same issues in the past with another man - Regardless of whether I am visiting or not - If I accept something now, then I can't expect my man to become this whole new person when he moves and change his behaviors - Now is the time to discuss these issues - not after they arrive.


i have dated my different share of man, thinking that it would be lessons learned for the future, but if you have never dealt with someone from another country before it is different, bottom line................You can discuss with your man all you want before he gets here.... that is just talk................ACTIONS that is what it comes down too.... I was on vacation when I met my spouse, and everytime I visited I was on vacation.... Him coming here I was not on vacation, I am here making a living , paying bills, sacrificing .... Until they arrive here and see America is not throwing free stuff at u and money does not grow on trees... well u know where I am going with this.....
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-02-05 13:31:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (Shemmy @ Feb 5 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks Portland - it's different when you go to JA 4-5 times a year visiting your man.


OKAY, SO YOU VISIT HIM , YOU ARE NOT LIVING WITH HIM.....

I AM NOT TRYING TO MAN BASH..... I LOVE MY HUSBAND WITH ALL MY HEART... BUT YOU CAN NOT HONESTLY TELL ME IF YOUR MAN IS HERE THAT HE HAS NOT CHANGED AT ALL, THAT WOULD JUST BE LYING TO YOURSELF OR THE PEOPLE YOU TALK TOO...

MY HUSBAND IS A PEOPLE PERSON , I AM THE SAME WAY, BUT I KNOW AS A MARRIED WOMAN IT IS NOT PROPER FOR ME TO GO ABOUT MY BUSINESS THE SAME AS I WOULD HAVE AS WHEN I WAS SINGLE...

I AM JUST SHARING MY EXPERIENCE AND KNOWLEDGE WITH YOU LADIES.. WHEN THIS THREAD STARTED A FEW YEARS AGO, WE DID NOT HAVE ALOT OF VETERANS, TELLING US THERE EXPERIENCES AND HOW THEY HANDLED OR DIDN'T HANDLE THINGS.....

IF YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED THE TRANSITION YET, HOW CAN YOU FORTELL YOUR FUTURE?
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-02-05 13:24:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (sus @ Feb 5 2009, 12:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Mrs. Smith @ Feb 5 2009, 12:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was catching up, and came across this topic, and I find what you ladies are saying very interesting.... I thought the same way you ladies did when I was awaiting for my husband to come here... Understand something, that I sure didn't, you can not for one predict the future of how things will or will not be... I thought I had it all figured out, and how beautiful everything was going to be..... Nothing like it at all... If you are not familar , meaning very familar with everyday life in Jamiaca and how things go, it vearys very much from our ways here in the states...

The staying out with friends to whenever , you have to nip it in the bud, if you feel it is unacceptable, then it is.... It takes time for the spouse to understand, and maybe he or she never will..... I think it is only fair, yes have your own friends, but the pupose of being married and not having all that dating time before you got married puts a strain on teh marriage... Once you get married, it is different, and you can say it is not but it is.... My husband is 5 yrs younger than me and been here 3 yrs, and he is still adjusting to OUR ways as we were brought up.....


I disagree with this statement - While I think there is definitely some adjusting to OUR ways - because after all, he will be living in the US - different rules, different ballgame - I think that you have to combine both of the ways that you grew up to find a workable solution that fits your lifestyle as a couple - I would never expect him to totally adjust to our ways.


WE as woman want to know more about our men and help them adjust the best we can...... From what I have experienced and other woman that I have spoken with can agree that there are certain ways that will never change , when they come here... that we may not find acceptable... 1. Staying out all hours of the eveing ,2. Talking to any or every female that comes across you, and taking there #... Being on the phone all hours of the night.... 2. Chatting online all hours of the night. 4. Understanding that bills come before clothes, shoes,etc.... 5. That we are not trying to MOM, but showing you the best way that we know, just like they would if we were to move to Jamaica....

Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-02-05 12:47:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (Awakening_1 @ Feb 3 2009, 05:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (dancehallquana @ Feb 3 2009, 05:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
wow wakey..
i am a bit liberal when it comes to the "going out" issue, but I do agree that he should try to limit his time away from u, .. u guys are still learning each other and u have went thru so long apart, u want to be w/ him alot

2 times a mnth may be too strict tho cuz he is also trying to carve out his own niche and enjoy things , not separate from u but alongside u.. u guys will come up w/ an acceptable schedule (MINE would be maybe 4 times a mnth, but that is for me and MY house)

i agree w/ him that going out is just filling a void right now.. maybe there are some other things he can get into in the daytime so that he wont be so eager to get out at night..

COMPROMISE ( and YOU have said this b4) is what it sounds like u need, he has to realize that u are not trying to run him, but there is a such thing as BALANCE and he can't let boredom get him caught up in behavior that will cause a wedge between u guys..
and u wanna also realize that there are things about him that u may not like or understand, but u can't change.. and u can't try to make him see the bad in it, only thing u can do is try to encourage him to see how those behaviors makes u feel and encourage him to try to create that BALANCE.. my two cents



You know once I typed it ..2 times per month it does sound like I'm putting a collar and leash on him smile.gif I never want to do that. I just think I need to find my own stuff outside of work to do with friends again. When he was in Ja I would rush home to get on our nightly phone call and I guess I let alot of my friendships slip and haven't found a way to get back in them. Plus I've changed how I think on many things like how I want to hang out now..So I guess I should communicate that with my friends and start there.



I was catching up, and came across this topic, and I find what you ladies are saying very interesting.... I thought the same way you ladies did when I was awaiting for my husband to come here... Understand something, that I sure didn't, you can not for one predict the future of how things will or will not be... I thought I had it all figured out, and how beautiful everything was going to be..... Nothing like it at all... If you are not familar , meaning very familar with everyday life in Jamiaca and how things go, it vearys very much from our ways here in the states...

The staying out with friends to whenever , you have to nip it in the bud, if you feel it is unacceptable, then it is.... It takes time for the spouse to understand, and maybe he or she never will..... I think it is only fair, yes have your own friends, but the pupose of being married and not having all that dating time before you got married puts a strain on teh marriage... Once you get married, it is different, and you can say it is not but it is.... My husband is 5 yrs younger than me and been here 3 yrs, and he is still adjusting to OUR ways as we were brought up.....


Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-02-05 12:05:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (Shemmy @ Jan 23 2009, 02:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Mrs. Smith @ Jan 23 2009, 02:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
not as of yet, did the biometrics, it is a waiting game now........ How are things for you, everything wwork out for the better? Still a constant struggle wit Mr. Smith.... Bwoy when these guys get caught in teh hype of the STATES it is so hard to shake them out of it..... Sometimes I just wanna... well you know .....................



Are you going through VSC for LOC? If so, they take forever. We just got approved this morning...waited almost a year.

Hope everything words out for you and Mr. Smith. Damien had no problems adjusting to the states. Like most couples, we've hit a few rough spots but nothing serious or not worth fighting for...

Stay around...

Yes, VSC, I am not worried about the wait.............. It is to be expected with this process..... Well I got me a rough one, he is 25 going on 16...... Theere is still cultural boundaries that wwe cross all too often, among other things...... It has been 3 yrs this weekend that he has been here, and I am still faceing challenges with this.................
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-01-23 14:25:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (dancehallquana @ Jan 23 2009, 02:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
be strong mrs smith.. what's worth having is worth fighting for..

That is the only way to be, when your spouse arrives, and starts to settle in, u have to stay strong..... You will see ......
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-01-23 14:11:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (dancehallquana @ Jan 23 2009, 02:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi mrs smith.. wha gwaan??

hey mrslady, i'm mad at u for being able to see ur SO so soon after u returned.. LOL.. everytime I see ur timeline I do a double take.. u and journee got it going on!!!


nuttin much, just checkin in to how everyone is doing?
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-01-23 14:07:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
QUOTE (Shemmy @ Jan 23 2009, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sus @ Jan 23 2009, 01:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (mrsladyd @ Jan 23 2009, 01:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jakeswife @ Jan 23 2009, 10:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
so last night to pawn miself pon the couch cause hubby did the night shift. well i fell asleep and during one of my dreams {thinking i was in bed} mi roll over and fall head first pon di hardwood floor mi get up frighten ready fi fist fight thinking hubby push mi off di bed.it was a site.well mi went back pon the couch to finish mi sleep.


That is too funny JW! rofl.gif Did you tell your hubby that you were ready to fist fight him when he came home?

Afternoon Yardie crew, hope everyone is having a fabulous day!



Hi MrsLadyD!

Too funny, Jakeswife!

Do any of you / your SOs talk in your sleep? DJ does - sometimes full conversations - but last trip, he sat straight up in bed, yelled out Bumbaclaat! Punched the bed with his fist, laid back down and turned over - I was like #######????????? My heart was racing


Damien does other stuff in his sleep devil.gif We fight almost every night...he left me bruised a few times. I wake up mad and he doesn't remember one thing...


QUOTE (Mrs. Smith @ Jan 23 2009, 01:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey ladies,

I am a veteran of this thread, haven't been on in a while, just wanted to stop in and say hello.... Wish you all the best on your journey's...... It definetly is an rollercoaster ride.......................I don't see any of the oldies from back in the day on here, what happened to everyone?


Suzy


Hey MrsSmith. I'm still around sjb1221. Did you LOC yet?

not as of yet, did the biometrics, it is a waiting game now........ How are things for you, everything wwork out for the better? Still a constant struggle wit Mr. Smith.... Bwoy when these guys get caught in teh hype of the STATES it is so hard to shake them out of it..... Sometimes I just wanna... well you know .....................
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-01-23 14:05:00
Mexico, Latin & South AmericaYardies at home and Farrin (part12)
Hey ladies,

I am a veteran of this thread, haven't been on in a while, just wanted to stop in and say hello.... Wish you all the best on your journey's...... It definetly is an rollercoaster ride.......................I don't see any of the oldies from back in the day on here, what happened to everyone?


Suzy
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2009-01-23 13:56:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General DiscussionWill this hurt our case?
QUOTE (Jomo @ Jan 14 2008, 02:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (diadromous mermaid @ Jan 14 2008, 01:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ Jan 14 2008, 01:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The first thing I would do a police search on his name at your local courthouse. Depending on what that actually shows is what you will have to explain. And, yes, if it shows anything, you will have to explain it.

I would think, though, that the fact that you have undergone counseling and are still together is a good indicator. You will just have to probably write something up and explain it with your filing.

No explanation is necessary.



Yet, if it shows up on a police record, she will have to write that on the removing of conditions forms.

this immigaration stuff is so itimadating to a marriage I think.... So as long as he has no record he should be fine then... and if we show proof of counseling is what u are saying?

So what would affect there decision? becuase everything is based on your marriage?
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2008-01-14 14:12:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General DiscussionWill this hurt our case?
We will be removing our conditions in the summer of this year, and I have a question that has been running thru my head?
Knowing that no relationship is perfect, my husband and I have had our fair share of problems. I had him arrested in Dec 06 for DV and the charges were dropped, and he was required to take a class.. I just recently had im escrted out of the home thru family court with a temp order of protection.. We both love one another deeply, but have apparent anger issues that need to be worked on. Being that we will go thru some intense counseling to reconcile, will this in anway affect our case?
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2008-01-14 13:24:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General DiscussionHas anyone ever?
We are removing conditions this summer, and based on our history ,I know we will end up with an interview, but looking to see if anyone has had a simaliar situation. Because I have had my SO arrested for DV and the charges were dismissed early last year. But I have heard that it could go either way, and it may be a hard road ahead with immigration.... I just want to get some VJ'ers opinion or story. Please ease my mind or show me the way... We have seeked marriage counseling, but that was just this year....


Mrs. Smith
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2008-03-14 14:08:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General DiscussionSupporting letter from faimly and friends
It really has to be in that foral? What if it was just a typical letter , stating the obvious and have it notarized?
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2008-07-21 13:26:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General DiscussionSupporting letter from faimly and friends
Does anyone have an example of what these letters should look like? What they should include.... Should they be notarized? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated?
Mrs. SmithNot TellingJamaica2008-07-21 12:27:00