ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsMy rollern coaster ride continues!!!!!!!!!!
It would have been better if you married here before she got pregnant because then your insurance could have coverred her, not it will be preexisting condition. The K-3 process got my wife here in 5 months.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2007-07-23 09:23:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsCan Any One Help
I believe consulate employees are DOS and not DHS employees.

Yes the BIG mistake was the unused marriage certificate. Too bad you didn't know about this website before your interview and then you could have followed the guidelines here.

So is all that is needed to a document proving the license has not been used? How tough is that to get?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-05-01 15:46:00
Middle East and North AfricaU.S. Official Denying Entry
Yep the Border patrol has all the power, even if you have a visa they can do whatever they want. You would be surprised at the power they have. I would bet if we new all the cases where border patrol has taken visas away at POE and deported people we would be shocked.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2007-08-21 10:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaPlease, I need to vent!!!!!
It may have something to do with the country your spouse is from. Iran isn't on the best terms with the US.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-26 14:18:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 28 2008, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Mar 28 2008, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I haven't seen anyone attacking your husband. It seems that you are trying to keep things inside you that are bothering you. If things bother you now with your relationship it will only get worse later. This is why i said earlier to think long and hard before you bring him here. I think maybe you think he will change once he is here but I don't think that will happen. If you have been together for 5 years then you should know him pretty well by now and know how he is going to be. If you have kept it in for 5 years and haven't talked to him about it then he is going to think that if you have been keeping it in for 5 years then why can't you continue to do the same. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If you cannot talk with him about what is bothering you and reach some type of solution then there will be resentment. I hope you are able to work things out and be happy but it takes work. If you can't be happy with what he decides to do then you won't be happy. He either needs to change to make you happy or you need to accept him as he is and be happy.

I have not been with him 5 years..

QUOTE (a1angied @ Mar 28 2008, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
To the OP I pray that you will seek God and ask for His guidence, love and support. Being depressed and pregnant is not healthy for your unborn child as well as the child or children you already have.

I need to be real honest and state what I see is that you love drama and to be so involved in it. From what I read this is a full time job for you. Please I am in no way trying to pass judgement or be hurtful I am only saying what I honest view.

If I was in your shoes I would want to surround myself with positive, loving, caring, things so that I can help ease myself from the grips of depression not add to the misery.

You had nothing positive to say.You just wanted to dig at me

QUOTE (Ganja_Girl @ Mar 28 2008, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How well does he speak english? I can't imagine the culture shock he will have, if he speaks and understand english maybe he could try watching some movies american ones, or some kind of TV programs. Not sure if he can do that, but it might help with his english, and he can learn some american slang. Just keep talking to him, once he is here and see's it for himself, he will ease up. It is scarey for him to come to a big country that is so different that what he is used to. Even talking to another man from his country that has been in the states might help also. Good luck, I am sure he will adjust fine, and all this will be a distant memory.

His english is very limited.He is a very traditional m'zab.I am just having some real concerns right now...He is having terrible culture shock even travelling 8 hours



As a resonsible man I would not get married and have a baby if i didn't have a way to support my wife. If he is having a major cultural shock are you willing to relocate to his country?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-28 11:20:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (hopeful... @ Mar 28 2008, 10:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 28 2008, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (hopeful... @ Mar 28 2008, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 27 2008, 09:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jenn! @ Mar 27 2008, 09:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 27 2008, 08:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He is somewhat backwards,jealous and sometimes makes me crazy, but I didnt fall in love with a metrosexual open minded man....


huh.gif

seriously....I have never met an arabic man who was truly in love with his wife that would be cool with her hanging out with men all the time.Maybe long term friends...but come on....Im in love with a muslim...How many husbands here would be ok with their wives ogling men and hanging out with them all the time...Oh hell no...Not if its a real marriage


Well, personally, I fell in love with a human being, not a Muslim, not a Christian, not an Arabic man. As for me, I don't hang out with men all the time, but I do have male friends who I would NEVER give up, and thankfully my husband would never want me to give them up because, well, he trusts me and, he likes them, too. Yes, he's an Egyptian man who loves an American woman with male friends. It does happen. We met here in the States (not on the internet) so we had lots of time together before marriage, we've been together for about 5 years, he is very close with my family/friends, and I love that he's open minded. If the only thing he or I ever needs to "worry" about is that we gazed at another person of the opposite sex, I consider us VERY blessed.

I guess I misunderstood the reason you posted in the first place. If you're happy with the kind of guy you chose, then so be it, and I wish you all the best. smile.gif

You met in the states...and had 5 years together..How in the world could my situation ever compare to yours?My husband has not been outside of his close knit community.As aggravated as I get with our differences,its not fair to compare him and contrast to either of your situations.Hes never ever seen a movie theater,an escalator,a dolphin, or any western thing other than what he has in Oran which is not much.....


You are right, our situations are very different. However, my point is that who you are with is your choice. You don't have to be with a man who is "irrationally jealous" as you wrote in your original post. I dont know why anyone (not just you) would want to be with a man who tells you with whom you can associate, whether or not to wear make up, how to dress, etc. It wouldn't work for me, and I cannot understand how a secure, free willed woman would want to hand over her decisions to any man. But, if it is what you want, then so be it. I don't know your SO, only you do, and you wrote a post seeming concerned about his double standards. It seemed to be a cause of concern for you, but, if it's really not bothering you, then no worries...


Decisions should be made by both people in a relationship. My wife wants me to make all the decisions and I am trying to get her to make some herself. I talk to her about it and tell her for example that she can buy what she wants in the grocery store even if it isn't something we normally buy. This is her culture and I understand it, she is afraid I will think she is taking advantage of me if she buys something without asking me first. I tell her always that the money we have is both of ours. She has always worked before we were married and maybe now that she is a stay at home mom it is hard for her to spend money she doesn't feel that she earned. I didn't tell her she had to stay home with our baby, she said before we were married that she wanted to stay home at least until our baby starts school. I am happy she is trifty with our money, if she went crazy spending I would worry but thang god she is tighter with money than I am. I always tell her you get what you pay for so she is learning that it is better to buy quality rather than quantity. I am truely blessed with my wife I just want to always make her happy. I would do anything for her that she would ask. Fortunately we both understand that being jelious is a destructive thing and we understand that we shouldn't do things that make each other jelious. I talk with women but I don't flirt. She talks with men and doesn't flirt and she doesn't wear low cut shirts or miniskirts. I know men and yes they will look at my wife but I know she loves me so I have no need to be jelious.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-28 11:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
I haven't seen anyone attacking your husband. It seems that you are trying to keep things inside you that are bothering you. If things bother you now with your relationship it will only get worse later. This is why i said earlier to think long and hard before you bring him here. I think maybe you think he will change once he is here but I don't think that will happen. If you have been together for 5 years then you should know him pretty well by now and know how he is going to be. If you have kept it in for 5 years and haven't talked to him about it then he is going to think that if you have been keeping it in for 5 years then why can't you continue to do the same. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If you cannot talk with him about what is bothering you and reach some type of solution then there will be resentment. I hope you are able to work things out and be happy but it takes work. If you can't be happy with what he decides to do then you won't be happy. He either needs to change to make you happy or you need to accept him as he is and be happy.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-28 10:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (Ganja_Girl @ Mar 27 2008, 05:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So you are a American man and your wife is mexican? I am sure you had bad experiences with some American women, but to make a blanket statement, than I wonder what kind of man you really are. wahrania is going through some really serious stuff, and just needs a little support. You telling me you never have any doubts about your wife, EVER wacko.gif You watch the evening news, look at a poilce report, there is violence between husband's and wifes everyday and the majority of them are married to someone from their own country. You never really know someone, unless you know something I don't know.


I guess I am lucky because my wife is an angel. Everytime something would come up that I would expect her to be upset about she has reacted wonderfully. She doesn't hold in her feeling if something bothers her, she will calmly talk to me about it and we work out a solution together. She has the same qualities I saw in American women when I was a child. I am not saying there are not women in the US with the same qualities but with MTV and all the things people and grown to accept as normal here I feel sorry for my children. American influence does reach the rest of the world and will change the values everywhere eventually. I love my country and know it is the greatest country in the world but morality and values are slowly slipping away.
There is violence against women all over the world and it is probably the least here in the US. I hope no woman would ever have to experience it but unfortunately it happens. I just know I have never or would never do it. The one thing my father always taught me was there is NEVER a reaon the hit a woman NEVER. I have taught my son the same. Believe me my ex wife deserved the ####### beat out of her but I would never touch her just because it is wrong. She would get in my face screaming and yelling and hitting me but the last thing I would do is hit a woman. Any man that hits a woman just be beaten and then his parents for not teaching him better.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-28 09:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 27 2008, 04:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Mar 27 2008, 05:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 27 2008, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Mar 27 2008, 03:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Nutty @ Mar 27 2008, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
?????? What is this about??

QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Mar 27 2008, 07:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
.....his family witnessed him do several things to me when I was there that I think looking back were really off...It was very extreme but his family accepted it as normal...


then why did u accept it also, did you not speak up and show your concerns at that time sounds like you are allowing this behavoir. I understand respect for the family that you are visiting but a few times i crossed paths with (the family wants.....) situation and just had to speak up



to me?...i was just asking her why if she can acknowledge this happening did she speak up at the time that his family was witnessing this behavior

I think because of past failures, I am trying alot harder than normal to make things work and to allow for adjustments. I am kind of depressed right now over a couple of things that transpired and I do not think the pregnancy is making things much easier for me. I really crave a high level of stability and normalcy and unfortunately I may have walked into more of an unstable family situation than I bargained for ( complicated inter family relationships.. drama etc. ) I can personally say that there were things that happened on my last trip that made me really sad and I am just kind of sad right now thinking about them. Speaking up is a lot harder than you think when you are trying really hard to make things work and you have been seperated your whole marriage by immigration. This process has done so much damage to us as well


If you are having all these doubts and he isn't even here yet I would be worried too. I know while I was waiting i didn't have a single doubt. Love is blind sometimes but it sounds to me that you are past the blind stage if you have all these worries now. before you bring him here and you do have control over your life you better think long and hard before you complete this process.

You have spent FIVE months seperated . What the hell do you know about what people in MENA go through to be with their spouses? I am here to hear from them. You are on our boards saying all American women are sluts and we like to sleep with other peoples husbands. I have been in the immigration process since January 2007 and he is still not here. I am also in a high risk pregnancy and am already depressed to a level you cannot imagine. This process has torn me limb from limb and the seperation during this pregnancy has endangered my life. Yes, there are things that are making me very unhappy right now but for the life of me , there is NO WAY you could imagine what the MENA people go through as far as seperation and the trauma it causes even very healthy relationships


I didn't have to spend more than 2 weeks away from my wife because I went to see her all the time. I was only commenting that you have many doubts in your relationship which is not a good sign when he isn't even living with you yet. I never said all american woman are sluts I was just pointing out that american girls are more likely to be like guys usually are and this is not how women are in most other countries. You say you are trying very hard because of past mistakes to be understanding of him but I can tell you whatever problems you have now it will only get worse after you have a baby and he is here with you. If the problem is just that you miss him and wish he was with you then that is understandable but what you have been saying is alot deaper than that.
What is stopping you from living with your husband until you get his visa? Can he support you there financially?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-27 16:49:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 27 2008, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Mar 27 2008, 03:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Nutty @ Mar 27 2008, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
?????? What is this about??

QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Mar 27 2008, 07:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
.....his family witnessed him do several things to me when I was there that I think looking back were really off...It was very extreme but his family accepted it as normal...


then why did u accept it also, did you not speak up and show your concerns at that time sounds like you are allowing this behavoir. I understand respect for the family that you are visiting but a few times i crossed paths with (the family wants.....) situation and just had to speak up



to me?...i was just asking her why if she can acknowledge this happening did she speak up at the time that his family was witnessing this behavior

I think because of past failures, I am trying alot harder than normal to make things work and to allow for adjustments. I am kind of depressed right now over a couple of things that transpired and I do not think the pregnancy is making things much easier for me. I really crave a high level of stability and normalcy and unfortunately I may have walked into more of an unstable family situation than I bargained for ( complicated inter family relationships.. drama etc. ) I can personally say that there were things that happened on my last trip that made me really sad and I am just kind of sad right now thinking about them. Speaking up is a lot harder than you think when you are trying really hard to make things work and you have been seperated your whole marriage by immigration. This process has done so much damage to us as well


If you are having all these doubts and he isn't even here yet I would be worried too. I know while I was waiting i didn't have a single doubt. Love is blind sometimes but it sounds to me that you are past the blind stage if you have all these worries now. before you bring him here and you do have control over your life you better think long and hard before you complete this process.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-27 16:04:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
In a good relationship everything should be equal. My past experience has been that women take advantage of a nice guy. My wife being from another country never tries to take advantage of me. I have always been a giver not a taker and my wife is the same. We are always appreciative of each other and conscious of each others feelings. My ex wife who was american was manipulative and controling. She was very selfish and only cared about what she wanted. She never wanted to work when our children were born which was fine with me but as soon as I got home she said it was my turn to take care of the kids and she went out with her friends to have fun and party. She men guys and slept with some too. The happiest day of my life was when we were divorced, I felt like a new person. She left and the kids stayed with me. I stayed single for 8 years because I vowed I would never let someone treat me that way again. She has been horible ever since then until I got custody of one of our children and she lost some of her control. My wife now cannot believe the things my ex wife does and says to the children just to be in control even if it hurts the children. The child I have custody of was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 6 months ago and I have paid all the medical bills and my ex has refused to pay for anything. We don't need the money and I have always paid my child support to her for the other two children she has custody of. They both would do anything to be with us but my ex said she would never let them live with us and I know it is a control thing for her and money. It would kill her if she lost the control and the money she gets from me.
I hope all American woman are not like her and I don't think they are but I see alot of American women with some of her character flaws.

If American women here have married a man from another culture I hope you were aware of the differences and accept your husbands as they are and not expect them to change. If you have made it clear to them how you are and they accepted that then you shouldn't have problems. Some of the women here have said they have changed the way they dress after marrying these men and I don't think this is a bad thing. Look how women dress here, it is too sexy. My wife won't wear anything too sexy not because I tell her not to but because she doesn't think it is appropriate. Sometimes I will buy her something a little too sexy and she will only wear it at home with me. I am lucky because I know my wife loves me and I trust her completely and have no reason to be jelious. I learned a long time ago that it is not worth being jelious, if your spouse is going to cheat on you it will happen no matter what you do to try and stop it. I have a daughter from my previous marriage that is learning many bad things from my ex wife. She sees her mom going out with other men while she was married. She sees her mom going through another divorce because she is tired of her current husband. She sees her mom scream and yell and her husband. I would give anything for my daughter to live with me and learn good values from my wife now but unfortunately my ex will not ever let this happen.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-27 10:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
American woman made American men into submissives so they can do the same with men from other countries.

If I were an american woman I would be more careful with your foreign husbands around american women. American women are much more likely to try to get your husbands to sleep with them than woman from their native country. American woman want to do everything men do and that includes sleeping around.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-03-26 14:51:00
Middle East and North Africascared but hoping
There has been a lot of extremely good advice here and what I see as being the best is HEALTHY communication with your spouse. The second most important thing is for each to support and encourage each other. It take two to make a marriage successful but it can fail by the fault of only one.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-02 14:10:00
Middle East and North AfricaInteresting Pork Topic I saw
I agree that biblically we are not to eat pork but everyone has to admit bacon on anything makes it taste better...bacon cheese burger.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-03 09:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaInteresting Pork Topic I saw
we are all sinners and all sin is equal in gods eyes.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-01 14:56:00
Middle East and North AfricaA Glimmer of Hope
QUOTE (Olivia* @ Apr 11 2008, 01:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Someone told me recently that on the edge of bad news is attached good news coming. Boy were they right! biggrin.gif

Sorry no new news on the visa process. This whole visa process has me remembering that old adage, "If you can't beat them join them." Something really wonderful happened to me today that may change everything but first...

I've been getting hand written letters from Waleed. I've gotten the 3rd and the 6th letter so far and wondering where the rest are. huh.gif I really love these letters because they're pages long and the feeling and energy I get from them is something I don't get from reading emails or talking to him on the phone. I read them over and over again and they quench a thirst for me. In them he talks about getting his Masters after he gets out of the military and if we're still waiting on the visa. You all know I've been shopping graduate programs and looking at the American University in Cairo. I like their Journalism and Mass Media Masters program as well as their Middle Eastern Studies Masters program. Plus I like the idea of studying abroad and getting to be with my Husband while he works on his Masters as well. The idea is fitting and appealing.

The really good news is in addition to my regular student loans, for my last year in college, I just found out I was awarded a $5,000 scholarship!!!! kicking.gif Whooooohoooo! kicking.gif That's in addition to the $900 scholarship I got!

Yes I do plan to use some of this money to go to Egypt for my winter break in nine months and see my Husband who I will not have seen for two years by that time. In addition I plan to tour the new American University in Cairo 250 acre campus and meet with the graduate professors in the departments I'm interested in! I'm so flipping excited!!! I'm also going to take a year of Arabic for my last year in college to prepare to make the leap if it comes to me deciding on the AUC.

I am still considering graduate film schools in LA but the books I've read about it say that you don't need to do that and there are two sides to the coin. If I do that I get the prestige of the degree but I also get $100,000 in debt and no guarantee that I'll have a job when I get out to pay back that kind of debt. These books argue the other side of the coin is LA is the only place in the world you can work in the industry and not have a degree and still be able to advance quickly. That in the time it would take me to get my graduate degree I could be learning more through experience and making money and contacts. So... I'm still debating which graduate degree programs to pursue and wondering if maybe I'm having a higher purpose in pursuing diplomacy or government work or journalism.


You don't think you will have his visa before December?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-11 14:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaAdvice on Cooking Fish
QUOTE (?JP? @ Apr 16 2008, 03:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I made fish last Saturday and it was really good. I picked up a package of Tilapia fillets from Costco and I marinated them in lemon juice, salt, pepper, arabic spice mix (bharat),and garlic. After a few hours, I coated them in flour which was seasoned with salt & pepper and deep fried them. They were really good.

I made a ton of side dishes too:

Hummos
Baba Ghanouj
Tabouli
Avocado salad (chunks of avocado mixed with lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic)
French Fries
Bagdonseyah (a sauce made from chopped parsley, tahini, lemon, serrano pepper)


We pigged out! I usually like Tilapia whole instead of fillets but right now I can't bear to eat anything on bones.


You should look into where they buy their tilapia. Other countries farm them in their waste water treatment ponds. (Human waste)
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 16:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaAdvice on Cooking Fish
In the United States, tilapia are considered important for their food value. These fish have also been popularized for their use in waste-water treatment schemes and aquatic-weed control programs.
Because of the diversity of culture systems it is impractical to describe all the different operations used for raising tilapia commercially. Life stages and culture technology for commercial production of hybrid tilapia in the United States are described in Figure 1 . Domestic production of hybrid tilapia consists mainly of all-male populations, which are raised primarily as a high-quality fish for human food. Culture is carried out in indoor tanks, water recirculating systems, outdoor raceways, ponds, and floating cages. In several states, primarily Florida and California, tilapia are also fished commercially. "Extensive" pond culture methods for tilapia, traditional in many countries throughout the world, are not commonly used in the United States. For example, culture of tilapia in wastewater fed ponds, a viable and less expensive production system, is not considered acceptable for ecological or sanitary reasons.

I love fish but will not eat tilapia because if it was imported to the US it may have been raised in sewer.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 11:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow is it possible!!
QUOTE (honeyblonde @ Apr 18 2008, 12:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have to agree with the lady who said that her bad marriage had an impact on her child. I think many people have bad marriages because that's all they've seen growing up and don't even know a good marriage can exist. They think they have to put up with someone who doesn't respect them or be alone.

I've been divorced 3 times and never thought I'd be in the kind of marriage I'm in. After 2 1/2 years of marriage everyone we know still calls us newlyweds because we're still deeply in love and it shows. This has had a huge impact on my grown sons lives. Since Abdel and I got married both of my sons have been able to stay in stable relationships. Neither of them are married yet, but they're talking about it. After my experiences they chose to live together first to make sure they really wanted to spend their life with that person. I know I wish I had done that a few times but my religious beliefs at the time prevented me from having that option.

It is sad that divorce exists, but it always will as long as people rush into permanent relationships so they can become sexually active due to religious restrictions, as long as young girls dream of fancy weddings without realizing there is a marriage and life with someone else to follow, as long as lonely people marry someone they know isn't Mr. or Mrs. Right but is Mr. or Mrs. Right Now, as long as single moms marry a man who can support them and their kids even though they don't really love him, as long as older people marry very young people hoping to somehow revive their youth, etc. I am speaking from experience on some of those because some are the reasons for my first 3 marriages.

As parents we can help our children to end up in good marriages by teaching them to be self-sufficient confident adults and by setting an example of having a great marriage.


This is what needs to change in the US, parenting.

Also if children are taught that divorce is a bad thing then they also won't rush into marriage.

You said you were married 3 times, why so many mistakes? Is the reason your relationship is good now because you have learned from your mistakes?

I am not trying to be critical, only get to the truth why people are getting divorced so much?

Do people think marriage isn't serious anymore? Is divorce too easy? Do they think their SO will change after marriage? What are the honest reasons?

I would be willing to bet everyone here that has said divorce isn't such a bad thing has been divorced at least once.

Can everyone say if they knew what they know now could they have avoided divorce in their past? Would they have made better choices? Some may say that they dont regret what has happened because of their children possibly but if time turned back to before they met all their ex's would they make better choices and avoid divorce?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-18 13:56:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow is it possible!!
QUOTE (sarahaziz @ Apr 16 2008, 05:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I mean most of the reasons put forth I feel it could be worked on. If the feeling isn't new, go renew it do something like when you were dating i.e. movie theatre, buy ice cream. If you're having trouble with each other not feeling loved just say I love you even if you don't mean it. I watch Joyce Meyer she's an inspirational speaker and she said the people who don't act like they need love are the ones who are hurting for some love and they're who need it the most at that time. Don't let your spouse find comfort in somebody else. Make them know what you need and ask them what they need. There are just so many solutions I feel could prevent all that stuff. Abusive husbands/wives have had a painful past or going thru stuff and try to take it on their spouse but that needs counseling. I take care of any misunderstanding or problem right away communication is the key for anything and everything.

Also my aunt told me fight naked. mellow.gif old 3arab women are freaks btw.


Someone posted a challenge that a minister had for all married couples to have sex every day for a month. These are all things couples should do to keep their marriage happy. Earlier someone said their parents were unhappy and it was harder for the kids when they were together but what if those parents (both) worked really hard to be happy, wouldn't that have been a good example to show their children?
I think people that stay together and are both misserable could have tried many things to be happy if they really wanted to? Not all but some if not a majority

Edited by Gaby&Talbert, 16 April 2008 - 06:55 PM.

Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 18:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow is it possible!!
QUOTE (djcess @ Apr 16 2008, 02:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
when the nagging won't stop.... whistling.gif


Men too divorce too easily. Women have nagged thoughout history. My mom nagged my father as long as I can remember but he never once wanted a divorce. When he was younger he just walked away and cussed her to himself, after he retired and wasn't able to walk away he would nag her right back. His last year alive she washed him, fed him, and held his hand as he died and they still loved each other. My mom is only mad that he died before her and left her alone but she still loves him.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 15:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow is it possible!!
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 16 2008, 02:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 16 2008, 03:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 16 2008, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You can have all the high values in the world and the best of intentions when you marry...things happen. It has become easier to (change) relationships here but there usually is more of a reason than im just tired of them....you cant plan ahead for things not known....i doubt anyone marrys with the thought in the back of their mind, oh well if it dont work i can divorce..In the olden days women stayed in abusive marriages because they had no where else to go, now they dont have to accept this and are more capable to care for themselves and their children. Life is not really something taught its an experience.

I agree most women stayed in abusive relationships long ago because of the shame of being divorced and the fear of not being able to support herself and or children. There is no shame anymore to be divorced in America, as this thread was started with a comment about divorce parties. There is no shame in most things that used to be considered bad long ago here.
If someone is in an abusive relationship and the abuser won't change then yes get out or if one spouse is cheating but why is their such an increase in divorce? Are people cheating and abusing more now?


Unfortunately I do believe that some couples go into this with the thought that "if it doesn't work I can just get a divorce". I had a friend do that once. She announced to me the night before her wedding that she thinks she is making a mistake, and that she still loves her ex bf. My advice was to cancel the wedding and find out what is in her heart. She said she can't because her dad had already spent a lot of money for the wedding. Now this may sound like a young girls response, but she was in her 30's and it was her second marriage. She followed through with the marriage and had filed for a divorce within a week. How crazy is that????


I think her father would have understood if she explained to him before the wedding. I know we will teach our child by example and explain to him that marriage is forever so make his choice wisely. Be respectful with girls and treat them nicely but do not let them walk all over you. If they are not good to you walk away well before you are close to marriage. People typically don't change their character so if this is what you think will change after marriage think again.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 14:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow is it possible!!
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 16 2008, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You can have all the high values in the world and the best of intentions when you marry...things happen. It has become easier to (change) relationships here but there usually is more of a reason than im just tired of them....you cant plan ahead for things not known....i doubt anyone marrys with the thought in the back of their mind, oh well if it dont work i can divorce..In the olden days women stayed in abusive marriages because they had no where else to go, now they dont have to accept this and are more capable to care for themselves and their children. Life is not really something taught its an experience.

I agree most women stayed in abusive relationships long ago because of the shame of being divorced and the fear of not being able to support herself and or children. There is no shame anymore to be divorced in America, as this thread was started with a comment about divorce parties. There is no shame in most things that used to be considered bad long ago here.
If someone is in an abusive relationship and the abuser won't change then yes get out or if one spouse is cheating but why is their such an increase in divorce? Are people cheating and abusing more now?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 14:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow is it possible!!
We have been desensitized to divorce in America. This does not apply to abusive relationships but growing apart and not feeling in love is no reason to divorce. Marriage takes work, if you have children that are less than perfect you wouldn't just say I'm tired of this and send them away would you? (sometimes teenagers make you feel this way but we still keep them) Sometimes one person is the problem and there is nothing you can do but try to teach your children better values so they make better choices when they marry. It will only get worse in the US I'm afraid.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-16 14:05:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 21 2008, 04:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Len_and_Bren @ Apr 21 2008, 05:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 21 2008, 02:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok I guess if someone just wants to leave it to chance it is their option.


rolleyes.gif


I think his world is black and white.


We have to do our very best for our children to have the best chance possible don't we? It doesn't mean they will be perfect but it seems like they will have a better chance than if the parents could care less?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 17:05:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 21 2008, 04:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 21 2008, 05:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 04:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 21 2008, 12:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mothers in history usually didnt start to go to work until later years either. My grandmother and mother never worked and did the house and kids but come my generation we work, teach the kids, do the house and all, and men in todays times have given way to share alot of the responsibilities its all in the mutual agreements of the couple to each their own. I have taught my boys to cook, clean and do laundry and hope they respect their wives to help. Just because a mother has strength in her religion does not make the children follow.


But if the parent isn't the example then who will be?



of course the parent is the first example, and all parents try to do good and hope best. Just saying with all her strength she tries how many killer, convicts etc their mom maybe was highly religions does not mean the kids will follow. In the news men of the cloth (highly religions) what did the kids see them do, (teachers) what have kids seen them do, we try thats the best we can do, the children grow and become who they are and we hope to have instilled some good into them


You said all parents try to do good and hope for the best but the problem is what some parents think is good may not be good enough. I will bet money a majority of the criminals didn't have the best role models as parents. Yes a few may have but very few. There are bad people in all walks of life but parents that work together to try to raise good children have good children the majority of the time.

If a mother is faithful and lives her life as her religion teaches then her children will be more likely to follow than someone whos mother could care less about religion.



I have heard that some parents really did a sucky job and the child turned out exceptional. Some parents are not well prepared, and really have no idea how to raise a child. Unfortunately children don't come with a manual. All we can do is try our best.


Ok I guess if someone just wants to leave it to chance it is their option.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 16:51:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 04:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 21 2008, 12:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mothers in history usually didnt start to go to work until later years either. My grandmother and mother never worked and did the house and kids but come my generation we work, teach the kids, do the house and all, and men in todays times have given way to share alot of the responsibilities its all in the mutual agreements of the couple to each their own. I have taught my boys to cook, clean and do laundry and hope they respect their wives to help. Just because a mother has strength in her religion does not make the children follow.


But if the parent isn't the example then who will be?



of course the parent is the first example, and all parents try to do good and hope best. Just saying with all her strength she tries how many killer, convicts etc their mom maybe was highly religions does not mean the kids will follow. In the news men of the cloth (highly religions) what did the kids see them do, (teachers) what have kids seen them do, we try thats the best we can do, the children grow and become who they are and we hope to have instilled some good into them


You said all parents try to do good and hope for the best but the problem is what some parents think is good may not be good enough. I will bet money a majority of the criminals didn't have the best role models as parents. Yes a few may have but very few. There are bad people in all walks of life but parents that work together to try to raise good children have good children the majority of the time.

If a mother is faithful and lives her life as her religion teaches then her children will be more likely to follow than someone whos mother could care less about religion.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 16:37:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (julianna @ Apr 21 2008, 02:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (chaishai @ Apr 21 2008, 02:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
here we go again.... and i sayeth: control-v!!

rofl.gif

QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 21 2008, 02:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why did you all convert to Islam?



Didn't and never will.


Because you have strong religious beliefs? This is good, does your husband also?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 14:35:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
Why did you all convert to Islam?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 14:32:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mothers in history usually didnt start to go to work until later years either. My grandmother and mother never worked and did the house and kids but come my generation we work, teach the kids, do the house and all, and men in todays times have given way to share alot of the responsibilities its all in the mutual agreements of the couple to each their own. I have taught my boys to cook, clean and do laundry and hope they respect their wives to help. Just because a mother has strength in her religion does not make the children follow.


But if the parent isn't the example then who will be?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 13:56:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 21 2008, 12:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 21 2008, 12:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 21 2008, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 10:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe especiall like these two that they see themselves as the big rulers, american women are basically a little more self sufficient, most have been married, divorced have had to keep the home and the kids going. Our men will come here, most will have to wait to work and basically dependent on us for awhile, i just see some coming here all gunho to do this and that and it dont work like this.

I know of a few that come here and the couples argue, the first thing out of the guys mouth is OH NO ONE EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT BEFORE...or IF WE WERE BACK IN MOROCCO YOU WOULD NEVER .....at their homes they are just used to being spoiled and catered to by the mothers and sisters


My husband has said that before in the heat of an argument, lol. He said most of the women don't argue back. My husband also knows that the majority of men their are spoiled by the wives, mothers, and sisters. He was one of them as well.


I guess all men can be broken like a horse and trained. Throughout history mothers have been the ones to teach faith and religion in families. If the mother isn't strong in her faith the children most likely will not be either.


We are trying to break and train our husbands...like a horse? Me thinks that your wife must stay home and do all of the house work while you sit on your A$$.

What is wrong with a man helping around the house considering that we, the woman, that should be chained to the stove, work to help with the support? This isn't something that I broke and trained in my husband, this is something that is a mutual agreement.


My wife is a stay at home mom but I help to cook and clean and take care of our baby. I take care of just as much as she does in the evenings and weekends. She always tells me it is her job to do but I still help her. She is a giver and wants to do everything to take care of us and I do the same with her. We are always doing things for each other. She doesn't want male friends to hang out with the same as I dont want women friends to hang out with. We are each others best friend and love to spend our time together. I see a lot of the women here saying what they will and wont allow there husbands to tell them what to do or not to do. It seems conditions are put in place with the hopes your husband will change once he is here. When you marry someone it should be for who they are and not who you want them to become. Yes people fall in love that shouldn't be together but they should not get married if they are expecting the other person to change.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 13:50:00
Middle East and North Africamarriage between muslim women and non muslim men . HALAL or Haram
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 21 2008, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 21 2008, 10:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe especiall like these two that they see themselves as the big rulers, american women are basically a little more self sufficient, most have been married, divorced have had to keep the home and the kids going. Our men will come here, most will have to wait to work and basically dependent on us for awhile, i just see some coming here all gunho to do this and that and it dont work like this.

I know of a few that come here and the couples argue, the first thing out of the guys mouth is OH NO ONE EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT BEFORE...or IF WE WERE BACK IN MOROCCO YOU WOULD NEVER .....at their homes they are just used to being spoiled and catered to by the mothers and sisters


My husband has said that before in the heat of an argument, lol. He said most of the women don't argue back. My husband also knows that the majority of men their are spoiled by the wives, mothers, and sisters. He was one of them as well.


I guess all men can be broken like a horse and trained. Throughout history mothers have been the ones to teach faith and religion in families. If the mother isn't strong in her faith the children most likely will not be either.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-21 11:51:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (Aymerlu @ Apr 23 2008, 01:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 23 2008, 12:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You know, making a husband happy really isn't that hard. Just show up naked with food! good.gif

What movie was it that the woman met her husband at the door wrapped in saran wrap? I just had a vision of me standing at the doorway, wrapped in saran wrap with a big plate of food. Scared myself! laughing.gif

how to make green fried tomatoes?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-23 14:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (julianna @ Apr 23 2008, 09:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (mohamedandmelinda @ Apr 22 2008, 10:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you are talking about me no I would not accept to be hit at all. I know I dont have to worry about that any way.



So then do you just not accept that part of Islam?




In reality, the Qur'an and Sunnah provide clear instructions on what procedures a husband must use in conflict situations where the husband is innocent and the wife is rebellious and at fault. The first step is a peaceful discussion between the two of them about the problem and solutions. This is intended to soften hearts and eliminate misunderstandings. If this doesn't work, the next step is for the husband to tell his wife his expectations in a firm, decisive manner. If the rebelliousness and disobedience continues, the husband is supposed to leave the bed, which is really a punishment for both of them for not being able to resolve their differences. If that fails to solve the problem, representatives of both sides meet to try and arbitrate. As a last resort, if he thinks it will prevent divorce by letting the wife know how serious he is, the husband can use a light slap on the hand or shoulder but not on any other part of the body, and it shouldn't leave a mark or scar. Anything beyond this is Islamically prohibited.


This doesn't sound like it is ok to hit your wife to me?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-23 09:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
Bottom line is that the problem with all religions is not the religion but the laws man makes in his interpretation of the original writtings. Muslim or Christian, it does not matter. It is the responsability of the individual to READ and learn. Parents are responsable for teaching their children their faith. People go to a church like sheep believing every word from the leaders mouth and do not read for themselves to know if it is true or not. Man has manipulated the writtings from all faiths to meet their needs throughout history.

I wonder what God thinks of man manipulating his words?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-23 09:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (Happy Bunny @ Apr 22 2008, 04:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (DeadPoolX @ Apr 22 2008, 05:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Happy Bunny @ Apr 22 2008, 04:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 22 2008, 05:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Break the chain and teach your daughters to not get involved with violent men, teach your sons to respect women and to stand up to men that don't respect women.


I would assume most violent men don't show their violent tendencies until AFTER they're involved.....

Theoretically speaking, it would be a dumb move on the man's part. Of course, I'd wonder what he's really looking for in the relationship if he's acted one way before and another after. She won't want to stay with him if he's a "different" person, especially if becomes increasingly violent.


Obviously, there's some sort of control exerted on the woman to kinda force her to stay...maybe they're married and she has nowhere to go, maybe she's got low self esteem, maybe she's just plain scared. There are tons of reasons, I would assume.

But logic dictates that he didn't give her a black eye or get into a scrap/screaming match with someone else on their first date, and that would be ok with her. Most women I know would run at the first sign of it.


Teach your children well and self esteem is very important to teach and encourage.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-22 16:21:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (SJ @ Apr 22 2008, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Apr 22 2008, 11:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (SJ @ Apr 22 2008, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 22 2008, 07:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I made it very clear from the start, hit me and your A$$ will go to jail. A womans body is fragile, and can not handle even the slightest force against it. My Moroccan man is very sweet and gentle, he would never hurt me. This type of thing is what makes MENA men look bad in American eyes, but lets face it, any culture is capable of this not just Arabic.


encouraged woman to be like this


I'm pretty sure he won't mess with her unless if he has martial arts skills and other self defense techniques.

its more fun to watch if they fight?

laughing.gif


So its good advice to tell women to learn to fight? Yes self defense and maybe they can avoid a rape but in a home it is not appropriate. If a man is violent and you try to stand up to him he would only beat you more. I don't care how skilled a woman is in martial arts she better be willing to kill or else a man that is going to really hurt her. What should be taught is violence is never the solution for both men and women.
Look at boxing, they do not allow a 120# boxer to fight a 180# boxer.


Boxers are always match and there is no female and male for boxing match. i only referred it to a violent spouses.

If a man is violent and you try to stand up to him he would only beat you more- there are many woman who don't fight back but still beaten up.

i didn't say to use it at home and use it against your spouse i referred it to a violent spouse.




Break the chain and teach your daughters to not get involved with violent men, teach your sons to respect women and to stand up to men that don't respect women.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-22 16:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (SJ @ Apr 22 2008, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 22 2008, 07:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I made it very clear from the start, hit me and your A$$ will go to jail. A womans body is fragile, and can not handle even the slightest force against it. My Moroccan man is very sweet and gentle, he would never hurt me. This type of thing is what makes MENA men look bad in American eyes, but lets face it, any culture is capable of this not just Arabic.


encouraged woman to be like this


I'm pretty sure he won't mess with her unless if he has martial arts skills and other self defense techniques.

its more fun to watch if they fight?

laughing.gif


So its good advice to tell women to learn to fight? Yes self defense and maybe they can avoid a rape but in a home it is not appropriate. If a man is violent and you try to stand up to him he would only beat you more. I don't care how skilled a woman is in martial arts she better be willing to kill or else a man that is going to really hurt her. What should be taught is violence is never the solution for both men and women.
Look at boxing, they do not allow a 120# boxer to fight a 180# boxer.
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-22 13:38:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow to Make your husband Happy
QUOTE (SJ @ Apr 22 2008, 11:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i like it when my husband punch me.. i get addicted to it. whistling.gif



And that is acceptable why?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-04-22 11:40:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionJuarez Consulate
QUOTE (thegreatgate @ Jun 4 2008, 04:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Jun 4 2008, 04:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would contact the consulate and see if the appointment letter could be extended until the treatment is completed.


I didn't see any dates on the open appointment letter besides her birthday.

The I-129f approval has an expiration date but the consulate can extend this I believe if they choose to. Does she have to stay in Juarez or will she stay with her Tia and travel for her treatments?
Gaby&TalbertMaleMexico2008-06-04 16:45:00